#it’s not meant to be digestible . lmfao

[greelin]

“why’s this traumatized character acting so traumatized” Do you listen to yourselves. ever

#it’s not meant to be digestible . lmfao #*obviously no one is directly. Saying this. verbatim. but you will describe Very Obvious Behaviors then follow it up with #’why are they acting like this’ #after it has been made clear that they have endured. outright abuse and neglect. like come on now

[covenofthearticulate]

I asked people this about Armand and Daniel ages ago, but now I'm curious about your thoughts regarding Louis

If Louis had the opportunity to undo one of the vampire nerfs, and either be able to go out in the sun without danger or pain, eat human food and generally be able to absorb things that aren't blood, or have sex without the need for hormone injections, which do you think he would go for?

Oooooooh that's such an interesting question, idk!!

On a practical note, opting to digest food would put an end to all his moral anxieties over killing that he's been grappling with for ages. But to give up blood feels like giving up vampirism as a whole LOL like what's the point. Killing is the only source of pleasure in his miserable existence; blood is really the only constant he has in his life. Getting up each morning and wrestling with that fact is one of the foundational tenants of Louis de Pointe du Lac.

I'm also just thinking about this absolutely based quote from totbt:

Lestat, you can't become human by simply taking over a human body! You weren't human when you were alive! You were born a monster, and you know it.

Like aksjhdbkfdhsb apart from this being the most sickening insult in the history of vampire kind, I've always wondered how much Louis was actually talking about himself here. Despite the fact that he later admits that he KNOWS he went too far when he said this ("Sometimes you frighten me so badly I hurl sticks and stones at you.") I still think he absolutely meant what he said. There's just something about the Catholic Angst Flavor of being born a monster, being damned from the start, that I think is just going to be forever engrained in Louis.

ANYWAY I didn't mean for this to delve into a whole meta analysis but this is all to say that I think even if Louis were to give up blood, he would still perceive himself as a monster.

My instinct is to say that he'd pick sunlight, mostly because the very first thing that popped into my head when I read this ask was the exchange he had with Lestat at the end of totbt:

"I didn't want the weakness; I didn't want the limitations; I didn't want the revolting needs and the endless vulnerability; I didn't want the drenching sweat or the searing cold. I didn't want the blinding darkness, or the noises that walled up my hearing, or the quick, frantic culmination of erotic passion; I didn't want the trivia; I didn't want the ugliness. I didn't want the isolation; I didn't want the constant fatigue." "You explained this to me before. There must have been something...however small...that was good!" "What do you think?" "The light of the sun."

There's just something so poignant about this moment, when after his big misadventure, Lestat is still reeling, still upset and confused and anguished about everything that happened, and it's Louis who reminds him of why he so desperately wanted to be human in the first place.

I know that, when Daniel asks Louis if he misses the sun, Louis replies "Not really." And maybe that is true, maybe Louis doesn't miss the sunlight when he's able to enjoy the beauty of the world around him with all the depth of a vampire. But I still think that the poet and the aesthete in him yearns for the light.

Also he's definitely not choosing sex LOL my guy has 0 libido and no interest in experiencing that sort of thing as a vampire. I know that's hypocritical of me to say as someone who thinks about Loustat Smut like 24/7 but LMFAO Lestat has enough sexual appetite for the both of them

#THANK YOU FOR THIS #girl i've been pouring over the loustat scenes in totbt for the last 2 months and it's got me fuck UP!!!! #i love it so much. favorite flavor of canon tbh #;answered #louis de pointe du lac #vampire meta

[troidatoi]

Day 10 - 10/19/2023

Hello! I got a job offer last week which I'm so grateful for because I need money. lmfao. The thing about the job is that it's a 3 month contract role with potential to hire which means there's a possibility they don't keep me next year and they didn't put that in the job listing. I was lowkey so frustrated that they didn't put that in the listing but the company is sports media which is cool and the pay is a little better than I was getting paid at my other jobs. It's for Meta so I guess we'll see how it is when I start. The main thing was health insurance but they provide it thankfully. All these fucking jobs are starting off as contracts with potential to hire and that pisses me off so bad because if someone is qualified and you like them in the interviews why are you doing this? People need money to live?? People need jobs?? Companies really don't give a fuck about us. I'm still waiting on my top choice to get back to me and will probably email them tomorrow for a follow up. I had two interviews with them but they said it's 123 interview process which probably means I have a third interview. I accepted the contract role cause I so desperately need money but if they hire me permanently, I'd feel more relieved because at least I'll know I have job and financial security next year. I hope my top choice hires me because it's a permanent role and also does sports.

I'm still crying a lot, just literally about everything. lmao. As much as I want to stay positive, it's been extremely difficult. When I went to give my best friend her birthday gift, she let me vent to her and I was just crying to her. I told her everything and spilled my guts basically. I felt bad because it was her birthday but she said it was okay. I told her about my dad, how I've been feeling about my health, the uncertainty of everything that's going on in my life and if things will ever get better, how I cry every day multiple times a day, how I feel so incredibly sad and lonely. And not the I want a boyfriend type of lonely but just some sense of loneliness that I can't really comprehend. I was telling her I know I have people who love and care about me so why can't I see it? Why can't I just take it in? I know I did this to myself and I don't want to spend my life at war with myself. I'm trying so fucking hard. I've been listening to affirmations every night, journaling every day, praying every night to whoever the fuck is listening. I so badly want things to get better. Am I heading in the right direction? Am I going to be okay? Are there other health symptoms I'm going to have to worry about? Will I ever be able to eat normally again? I apologize so many times to my body because I know I put it through hell. I'm still trying to love her while trying to heal her. I went to another doctor because he luckily does free consultations and he was super nice. Will probably start working with him once I pay off some of my debt. I just want to feel better again and lose weight and fit into my clothes again. I don't want to feel bloated and inflamed anymore. I don't want my body to tingle and feel numb.

I was asking my best friend if I was meant to suffer or if I did something bad in my past life or earlier in my life for something like this to happen. She said no, I did not. I'm so glad she lives right there. I am so grateful for her and I love her so much. I got a tummy tuck and thigh lift which basically gave me digestive issues. My body isn't absorbing food right now so I'm always bloated and inflamed. And it sucks having to be careful what to eat and sometimes I just want to be like fuck it and eat whatever I want but I know I can't do that unless I truly want to heal my body. I've read success stories about people healing so that's what is keeping me going. I know I'm going to feel better and eat what I want again. I just feel so stuck. Was it wrong of me to do the surgery? I've always been such a big girl so was it bad that I wanted to feel skinny and fit for the first time in my life? My best friend said no, and that it was okay. I don't regret any of the surgeries I did but now I have to heal it back. I'm hoping I do. I know I will. I know it's going to take time.

I was also talking to her about death and how it always consumes my mind. I didn't realize how much I thought about it when I was little too. I remember asking my mom why do we die in 4th grade. 4th fucking grade. I remember crying in class in 4th grade because I was thinking about death. My mom couldn't give me a straight response but I always just thought about how sad it was that we are born and then we die. And then I think about about how aging is a blessing a privilege so why do I want to die right now? Some people don't even get to live to be my age and here I am having suicidal thoughts. I think about everyone in Palestine fighting for their life and just wanting to live and then there's me. I just want to scream and punch something to get everything out of my system. My heart is so heavy all the time. I am so anxious and worried all the time. I am so stressed all the time. I'm trying so hard to do better, to feel better, to take care of myself because I know I didn't back then. There is so much going on and there's never any time to grieve or just breathe.

I was posting things on my story about how difficult life is and a lot of my friends know I'm sad a lot of the time and one of my friends messaged me saying I hope that I'm happy and doing well. And I don't post things to get a reaction or for people to feel sorry for me. I post things because it's important to me (of things like that) and sometimes you feel like people aren't really thinking of you and yet when my friend reached out to me, I was like oh wow. I'm very grateful that she did. I know my friends are worried about me. I think it was this week that I was just lying in bed and feeling sad (as always) and my pole instructor texted me and she said she was thinking of me and she hoped the job search was going well. My therapist also texted me saying she has faith things are going to fall into place for me. Sometimes I don't think about the way I have an impact on people. Sometimes people are just extremely busy and it's hard for me to reach out because I don't want to feel like a burden and I'm just like sad all the time. I remember my friend crying to me and she never cries saying that if anything happens to me, she'll understand but will be extremely sad that I'm not in her life anymore. It was the first time someone has cried in front of me and talking to me about it. I am always grateful for the people in my life because I know how much they care about me and love me. As of right now, I'm just having a hard time seeing it because I'm too much into my head.

I also think about if I'm ever going to date someone and experience being in a relationship. I do want to so bad but I know I have to take care of myself first. I don't really believe in the whole you have to love yourself first before you love yourself because let's face it. Everyone is always going to hate something about themselves and find every flaw imaginable but I feel as long as you're working on yourself and you're not being a bad person then it's absolutely okay to be in a relationship. I can't believe I realized that I want to start dating. I literally didn't think this day would ever come but here we are.

I do just want to focus on getting healthier, paying off my debt, and focus on my family and friends but whoever I start to date, I hope they like me as much I like them.

I love you, Jane. There's so much good in store for you. You're going to be okay. I promise.

[pambeeeeesly]

as much as I don't want to I think I have to let go... it's wild to me that u can share wonderful experiences with someone and that can go away almost any time and then u have to try to forget how it felt

and u gotta accept the fact that that closeness will be gone and u can't do anything to bring it back... I don't think I understand how to get over these things... I don't think I can get over something like this

but I have to

#also considering how it meant so much more to me than it did 2 him #and digesting the fact that people can say the sweetest things and make u feel like u are important to them while still not even being that #attached to u #and ppl can do all of this casually #i dont fucking get it lmfao #its not bad its just.. a bitter realisation

[momo-de-avis]

gelato

Okay, it was really hard coming up with something for this one cause I genuinely can't remember anything involving ice cream

Something did come to mind though. It's a bit of a stretch, and I'm risking a lot telling this story because there's a twist, but here it goes.

2006, I was a highscooler. Like any highscooler in the mid-2000s, I thought the coolest kid in my school was the ugly ass, six-pack looking ass dude who played the guitar, and my friends all drooled over the cool guys who sat on the exact same spot every day: the bench scribbled all over with stupid shit under the pine tree by the common room.

If anyone here is from Almada and studied in Pragal, I have PICTURES

I also stood out back then because I pierced my nose, wore a bazillion colours and then decided to dye my hair pink shortly after. I went through a vegetarian phase (which didn't last cause I love picanha so much) and a pseudo-hippie one, a pagan one, and a metal one. As one goes.

I had this friend. It was something close to a best friend. The only reason I never claimed her best friend was because she claimed someone else best friend, and I felt it was rude. We talked on MSN every day (lmao) and she was a social person. Mind you, I was super social too, but she had a wild life. We did the tackiest, stupidest shit a teenager can do, like drinking energy drinks and ditching class to read poetry. I am not joking, I was a complete clown.

This story is super convoluted, so I'm going to suppress some details both for the sake of her identity and because it's sincerely long as shit. But from one point on, her life started to get messy. We would be talking on MSN and she's tell me shit like "brb, [friend] just popped over in my house with 32 roses". Or: "oh my god, [same friend] just showed up here with his guitar and singing at my window". Another instance, she started weaving this tale about how the guitarist I had a crush on winked at her at the bus stop (man teenage girls have one braincell). And one ANOTHER instance she wove this really complex tale that made us believe she got drunk, passed out, had sex, and then had urges for mango ice cream (yes, ice cream will be a recurrent topic for some reason) which made us believe she was pregnant.

If you guys are seeing where this is going, it means you're adults. I did not, which meant I was a clown. Rest assured, I'm laughing my ass off as I am typing this.

That's when a new player comes in, who everyone called the Peruvian guy. Yes, because he was Peru.

Peruvian guy was the only one nobody had claimed in the band, except this girl. Until she started coming off with wild claims. It all started with the wildest love story I've ever heard in my life, like not even lifetime comes up with this shit. And unfortunately, only portuguese people will see the level of atrocious in this. Because it all started in a 25th of April Da Weasel concert, inside a crammed TST bus (the 124 OF ALL BUSES) as everything should begin.

These two lovebirds spot each other inside a bus that smells of sweat, vomit and nutsack and thing "damn, we're going to fall in love right now". The Almada main plaza is filled with drunken teens and two stops later they get off. My friend and him decide the best way to discuss the nonexistent relationship is the backdoor of our school, which is a plot hole if I've ever seen one, and he says, with no introduction, that he is madly in love with her. Just like that, going in raw. She is baffled. He repeats himself.

I should remind you that this was all relayed to me by her the following day.

To prove himself, he takes off his shirt, in the middle of the road, and despite being the least busy street in the entirety of the city and 1AM, he, according to her, stops traffic, and bare chested, starts slapping that shit on the concrete screaming I LOVE YOUUUUUUU like some coked up Peruvian Chris Pine. She is still baffled. It is still not enough. So he then grabs her by the shoulders, and SMACKS her against the school gates, which by now are a good 10 meters away, so it must have been a dance. Yes, she showed me the bruises the next day, I need you to remember this detail. And there, in front of a line of enraged drivers that clearly did not exist, he kissed her passionately. I do not think a part of her considered any of this to be assault, I genuinely think she thought this was romantic.

From here on out started the romantic walks by the beach and the gallons of digested ice cream. I mean, gallons. She even showed me receipts. She even relayed back to me his favourite ice cream flavours, where they went together at 9AM and where they sat as they tasted their ice creams together, hand in hand, holding a cone and licking away.

As you have all gathered already, all of this was horseshit.

It started falling apart when I actually befriended Peruvian guy lmfao

Man it was the worst fallout i ever witnessed. Her whole family actually protected this shit, it was wild. We were pretty angry (I mean, I was particularly angry cause these lies were specifically aimed at me, and it turns out only her name was real) and we didn't deal with it the best way, but some of us offered help, but man I lost it when she laughed in my face and said "of course it was all fake". Then again, I was 17 and hormonal, so not the best judgement.

The twist here is that I found her on tumblr again and can safely say she hasn't changed much. From what I've seen, I wouldn't trust much of what she says, but at least she seems more confident in herself. She doesn't come off as an outright pathological liar, and I certainly wouldn't believe shit, but looking back it now it is so fucking funny the lengths through which she went to make up this fake romance, man. Especially because we were teenagers fantasising about these dudes in a band and then my friends and I actually befriended them in our senior year of high school and they were actually pretty cool, chill dudes and the fantasy shattered completely, they were just guys (and the guitarist was a bit of a piece of shit too, and ugly if I'm being honest, but that's my standard today speaking).

But man, I hope to achieve that level of originality. What is so wild to me is that she showed me the bruises, bro. That girl bashed herself against a wall or something to prove a dude had a rough, passionate kiss with her. At least she had help and is better today (though she's not active on tumblr anymore, at least I haven't seen her in the past year or so)

[tim-lucy]

Tv is such a unique business in that it's practically the only job where you leaving doesn't only affect the people you work with but potentially millions of other people. Shows where the actors for the main characters leave especially, just lately the blacklist , the resident, charmed all lost their female leads and in the process broke up some really beloved relationships, it sucks do bad to be invested in something like this and one day there's an article like.... So and so is exiting this show. It's why a couple of years ago I wasn't invested in any ongoing relationships despite watching a lot of shows but I have a few faves rn like chenford, Nace sharpwin brettsey stellaride malex (and a ship wlw that is never happening lmfao), I also loved another ship and waited almost two years for the show to come out and the writers disappointed me so much but also so much of the fun is watching it unfold real time and watching a spark of chemistry and being like... This could be amazing which is the case for almost all of these except Malex and stellaride they happened almost immediately and if you wait for things to finish you're 100% going to be spoiled on who gets together and that's half the fun.

Right!! I can't imagine having a job where quitting meant upsetting millions of people and sometimes even putting your friends' jobs at risk. That's so much pressure!

But even though actors leave, I can't help but watch live and get invested. Because like you said, waiting to see when and how a ship gets together is half the fun! Shows never hit the same when you're binging because you don't get a week to digest the episode and theorize.

Chenford, nace, and sharpwin are my favorite ships on current tv right now too!! And I love malex! But like you said again, they happened right away and have been on and off which isn't as fun as a slow burn to me personally!

It's so crazy how being on TV is such a risky and unstable business, but so is watching it! 😂

#anonymous #ask

[oodlyenough]

some disorganized thoughts on bly manor now that i’ve had some time to digest it

i’ll start with things i liked:

-obviously i appreciated a lesbian love story front and center. that was a great pleasant surprise -i liked the idea of hopping between memories and the memories warping and changing and replaying -the dollhouse was creepy af and frankly underutilized -the kid who played miles cracked me tf up -i watched a single season of izombie years ago and have liked rahul kohli ever since so it was nice to see him in something! -i like these anthology ideas with different actors reappearing. i spent most of the season like “i’m sure theo is in this but where is she??” hahaha

i think this felt like a solid B draft to me... like not a first draft, but not quite as good as it might’ve been had it gone through another round of reworking. i like a lot of the fundamentals -- most of the characters are likable except the ones you aren’t meant to like, i like the cast, i like different bits of the concepts, i like the twist of “it’s a love story”.... but many of those separate threads never fully came together for me

we saw almost every major twist coming, literally from ep 1 we were like “hannah’s a ghost”. i dunno if i count this as a point off or not, because you want stories to be logically written and have foreshadowing you can follow, but it would’ve been nice to have any big surprises a la Nellie/Bent Neck Lady. plus, in the case of edmund i correctly guessed it was headlights/taillights reflecting off glasses, but i was disappointed because i thought Dani’s dark secret would be murder~ (or manslaughter i guess, accidental) and perhaps she’d backed up into some guy, and she’d seen it too late in her rearview mirror, which is why he always appeared in mirrors... but nope. the mirror connection was arbitrary and she was not at fault at all. i mean, i get why she was upset, but considering we spent several episodes thinking dani had murdered/accidentally killed someone, the reveal of “he got hit by a car in front of me and i had nothing to do with it” was an anticlimax lol. 

every character got a really long soliloquy that was Too Long. hill house was prone to pretentious dialogue as well, but when it’s pretentious dialogue for a solid 5 minutes of one character talking, it got to be a bit much. and I like these people! so it’s not like the basic level of my interest wasn’t there, it just ...stretched on. a lot of this website probably disagrees, but jamie’s moonflower speech is the key example of this for me. i feel like we got the gist of what her life had been like and why she was the way she was in the first third of it, and then it just went on... and on...

then other things that just felt like they came up but weren’t tied together satisfactorily: peter and rebecca. i loved the turn at the end of... what, episode 7 I think?, where peter-miles leaves and you find out rebecca is undermining his plan and wants to save the kids and dani. that was a relief, since i spent the previous episode like ‘why the FUCK is rebecca on board with this’, and i thought we were building to some sort of peter/miles-rebecca-flora-dani confrontation... but then the lady of the lake interrupted and dominated the entire end of the series

which in some ways of course she did -- you don’t hear about “the lady in the lake” at the start of a haunted show and not have her center stage at some point -- but could we not have tied those two things together better?

i’m also not opposed to sad endings in this genre -- i am one of the people who thinks hill house should’ve gone with its original bleak ending lol --  but the tragedy felt a little strangely doled out. owen & hannah needed more screentime towards the end with actual-owen, I think? owen needed more to do writ large. rebecca’s story felt unfinished and rebecca in general never felt like a fully realized character -- which is part of why i was so excited when she was revealed to be working against peter, but then it barely went anywhere! (sensing an uncomfortable pattern...) 

i found viola’s story strange... ok, so she’s lost her memory of everything except her walk, and she’s stuck there by sheer will, but when she’s in dani she doesn’t... change at all, or... she still just wants to be in the lake? no one ever dragged that damn lake when there’s so many bodies in it lmao? maybe finding a way to make viola at peace would’ve been too trite but i felt like the show had kind of set up for that and then didn’t go all the way with it.

ALSO... i get that bride flora “didn’t know” or whatever... but god her bawling @ this widowed lesbian the night before her marriage because what if he diiiiies one daaaaaaay we’re so perfect and happy waaaaaaaah was like.... obnoxious to me. lmfao 

also it just wasn’t very scary imo. i apparently missed every background ghost because i saw, like, two, whereas in hill house i was ALWAYS on edge looking for them in that damn house lmao. in this one, there were a couple early scares but not many. dani’s fiance became routine, lol. peter quint was obviously just ghost peter quint. hill house did something similar, where the ghosts were slowly revealed and in essence became less scary -- ESPECIALLY bent neck lady who was terrifying af to start with lol but ultimately becomes tragic -- but i feel like hill house maintained the post-reveal scariness more effectively.

anyway I dunno, despite the above I didn’t hate it! I had fun watching it with friends and I will absolutely watch s3 The Haunting of Whatever to see this cast do other ghost stories. but it’s like a 6/10 for me. mostly it made me want to rewatch hill house. and maybe oculus.

#the haunting of bly manor #the haunting of bly manor spoilers

[yaminerua]

pretty sure at this point it’s my digestive system that’s fucked but what exactly it is that’s messing it up I have no honest to god clue

it’s almost a year I’ve been dealing with this constant pain now, with random intermittent periods where it was less noticeable and allowed me to just do things and even very brief days where it didn’t seem to be there at all and I cannot for the life of me figure out why it was less on those days because it doesn’t SEEM to be specific foods.

I would have the same foods one day and be ok and the same foods another day and have the pain and not want to have to move much.

It’s ok in the mornings it seems. Like I wake up and I’m ok and then I eat and it almost immediately starts up but it’s not the upper stomach? Like it doesn’t feel like it’s reacting to something I’m immediately eating. It’s like.. further along and lower down which was why I thought it was my bladder at first but it doesn’t seem to be. And it doesn’t seem to be the other organs around there either cos those got checked in a scan when they were testing me for a previous pain lmfao

Anyways it’s a pain for the rest of the day until later at night for whatever random reason and then it’ll settle a bit. I have no trouble sleeping since it’s usually ‘gone’ by then.

But that pisses me off because it’s like. I still can’t identify what’s making it happen. Because again. Sometimes it’s not as bad and other times it’s awful even if I eat the exact same thing. Trying to cut things out or identify a specific trigger for it doesn’t seem to work because it just. It just seems completely random.

For whatever reason it has plagued me for almost a whole year from about March or April last year. With only a period of half of October where it randomly let up a bit and let me have semi-functional days and then just decided to come back full swing in November.

I’ve spent a chunk of last year trying to explain things to my doctor to try to figure out what the hell it is. Trying to find patterns, describing the feeling and where and when it happens and trying all the shit they give me. They thought it was IBS because I didn’t have other symptoms that would suggest other things, but none of the medications for IBS worked and even IBS symptoms didn’t seem that relatable either. I can’t even find a description for my exact experience online because it seems so specific.

It’s like.... before this, I spent the whole of 2019 with a pain in my left side that seemed to just. Not want to go away no matter what. And then February last year I was like ‘fuck it maybe I just need fibre’ so I gradually increased fibre and.... side pain vanished. And for almost a month I was feeling finally back to normal. Like aha! I have defeated you, mystery pain

and then bam! A new pain in a new location that was somehow worse than the previous one. And it’s been relentless ever since.

My brain loves to worst-case-scenario everything. But I have to remind myself that when they were investigating the side pain I had some scans and that showed nothing. And besides I have literally no other ‘worrying’ symptoms. Just this dumb pain

It’s significantly been impacting my ability to physically help out in the house and  since my granny requires a lot of care and getting up to make sure she’s ok on her feet or needing assistance and stuff, on top of the usual washing up and cooking needs and stuff it’s just really got in the way of things that were manageable enough before.

Which has meant that while I lie down willing my pain to subside enough to let me get up and do things, my dad has had so much pressure on him and I feel awful for not being more readily able to take some of the weight off his shoulders again... Which just makes me worry about him being overworked and my brain reeeeeally likes going down catastrophe thought paths like a choose your own adventure of worst case scenarios until you end up with ‘he’s gonna die, I can’t make money, I don’t know how to function as an independent adult and I’ll lose the house and end up dead in the street’

so that’s fun

It’ll be a whole year of fighting this pain soon... a whole year of getting nowhere with it and having no idea still what to do about it and I’m just.....

praying that it’ll magically vanish on its own like the side pain did.... even tho im almost certain it was my active decision to take more fibre that made that go away. and I’m worried if i drop that  then the side pain might return. And sometimes I wonder if changing my diet, even tho I did it gradually, somehow brought about this different pain instead. So it’s like. Do I just have to accept having one mystery pain no matter what?

Anyway.... it’s really slowed me down a lot over the last year and I’m hoping it’ll eventually be resolved. But in the mean time it means that sometimes I take longer to get new content made because sitting to draw is too much sometimes

So I guess I’ll just have to wait and see what happens with this... See if there are any other things I can try.

If this ends up being something like ‘lol you’re just really stressed and it’ll get better when you’re not stressed anymore’ i might as well just give up because

lol

life isn’t stopping the stress flow any time soon

would be nice if my dad’s 10 year long attempt to make some money in his business would finally pay off and help us not feel like we’re one bad day away from losing everything but hey ho the last time I lived without constant scary tension I wasn’t even double digits in age yet so I don’t even know if I’ll know HOW to relax even if things change for the better

anyway sorry for the rant

im just so tired

#nerua rants #lots of negative stuff and complaining about body pains #im so very fed up with my body being a mystery nuisance #it was easier when it was just my stupid joints giving me trouble

[nbapprentice]

there’s so, so, SO much nonsense surrounding this game that i’m gonna do my best to separate it into digestible bits, with its own categories. even then this is... wow. it’s big.

Warning tags will be added at the start of every section, but the general gist is: incest, pedophilia mentions, fetishization of rape and abuse, fetishization of mlm, fetishization of people of color, racism, ableism, nb erasure and transphobia. aside of the warnings, this post will also touch upon Scummy Business Practices

let’s get going

Dana Rune’s and Elle’s lack of moral fiber: #incest #pedophilia#rape and abuse fetishization #homophobia

tl;dr: dana loves incest porn, elle loves guy on guy rape, and the both of them are friends with at least one pedophile

dana rune has run, is still running an incest zine (please visit my faq on what i think about “thats not really incest” and “it’s just fictional!”). The Arcana, as a dev team, clearly does not care, as shown in their e-mail responses.

dana also very much doesn’t care and has reacted to any criticism on this by dismissing people and blocking actual incest victims who tried to contact her about it claiming it was for her “mental health”

in some tweets she claims she “interprets” the characters as not siblings, but she never really cared enough to cover her ass when it all began (she happily admits she’d “cross the incest line”)

dana has commissioned artists who also ship incest, draw near-pedophilic art that’s supposed to pass as acceptable because the character involved is supposedly not a minor despite looking like a child down to wearing pigtails (the character is also wearing a racist-ass belly dancer outfit), AND even made white-washed fanart of The Arcana.

dana follows twitter user kapymui who also produces incestuous Fire Emblem art

dana has retweeted omocat long after it came out that omocat is, at the very least, consuming pedophilic content (on “omocat didn’t know what shota meant!”: yes they did)

moving on, elle has a long, long, LONG history of fetishizing mlm and the rape and abuse that comes with yaoi and had a rich, RICH “yaoi” tag before they deleted their tumblr

they curiously deleted their tumblr right after i made this reblog

shortly after that, tumblr user thalassiq remade and started attacking and insulting any blogs criticizing them - even people providing support in IMs. Since this doesn’t match Dana and Elle’s normal pity parties I’m personally willing to believe they were just a person wanting to start shit - but it’s so telling how Elle used this chance to dismiss everyone who disagrees with them by calling them “children” and did not even bother to offer a kind word to people who were harassed and even had their trauma mocked by this person. It costs 0 dollars to say “that was not me but I’m sorry about people who were hurt.”

Dana and Elle are close with Ava’s Demon creator Michelle Czajkowski aka that one person who endorses child porn of her characters, and even had her draw a promo image for the game. Michelle has been creating highly sexualized content of her minor characters for a while now.

ok so elle and dana are gross freaks, how is that related to the game?

oh it’s very very related

Dana Rune’s and Elle’s lack of moral fiber that’s Actually Inside The Game or The Game’s Blog: now with more #racism #fetishization of poc and mlm #whitewashing #fat hate #pedophilia #nb erasure #transphobia

tl;dr: the arcana is filled to the brim with racism! so much of it! haha holy shit! and that’s not even where it ends!!!

their game is rated PG-13 but includes incredibly sexual situations such as Julian making this fucking face while getting off on pain. This isn’t the only time Dana and Elle use their videogame aimed at young teens to showcase their kinks and fetishes. I have no issue with NSFW or titillating content, as long as it’s rated accordingly. This content is NOT and it’s a blatant disregard for their audience just to have a larger, more pliable demographic and have more money sent their way.

if you start your argument with “well, teenagers look at porn” 1. shut up 2. theres a HUGE difference between teenagers going after adult content aimed at adults, and adults creating content they know will be seen by kids barely starting puberty

as pointed above, dana has 0 qualms literally commissioning people who make whitewashed fanart of her own fucking game that’s supposed to be all about the inclusivity and safe spaces

thearcanagame blog has a pattern of reblogging whitewashed fanart (before you come in swinging with the good ole “ITS THE LIGHTING”: 1. no it isnt 2. the artist should’ve picked better lightning then 3. i draw and post shit online too so dont come telling me i just dont understaaaand),

fanart of their fat characters showed skinnier than they are in their sprites (although to be real for a moment - Portia is curvy at most and them behaving she’s fat rep is HILARIOUS).

going back to NSFW content: nadia and asra are overwhemlingly sexualized in the game, and were the first to have sexualized CGs and sprites introduced.

CGs: Asra’s here, here aND HERE, Nadia’s here with a NSFW warning because she’s just got her whole fucking ass out. Sprites: Asra’s thank god for whoever compiled it all in one image, Nadia’s and once again, NSFW warning lmfao!

Julian’s sprites on the other hand are noticeably tamer, including the one where he’s fucking strapped in leather. His only sexual (NSFW warning because its literally softcore tentacle porn WHICH, ONCE AGAIN, SHOULDN’T BE PUT IN A GAME AIMED AT 13YOS) CGs were also included months after Nadia and Asra received any of theirs.

Through all of the updates, people have constantly requested that Asra and Nadia’s sexualization be toned down, and time after time The Arcana just churned out fetishistic, hypersexualized content at an absurd rate, especially when compared to the one white love interest.

Oh, speaking of the one white love interest: Julian is based off of Jeff Goldblum (this is not spectulation - they p much bring it up at any given time) but like. If Jeff Goldblum was white. They base their favorite love interest off their supposed favorite man in the world but casually leave his skin tone behind. Lmao.

they also play favorites very obviously - in the prologue, Nadia and Asra have a romance paid scene each. Julian has a scene... that requires no coins. Julian was also the first LI to receive three CGs, two of them requiring no coins, while both Asra’s and Nadia’s first CGs were behind a paywall

Dana and Elle have been notoriously skittish about confirming or denying their characters’ ethnicities. After hyping for weeks on thearcanagame that they would confirm the character’s races they basically made a post that amounted to “well they’re not white lol!”

they only relented after the perfectly understandable outrage... and posted a thread about it on Elle’s twitter. Nothing on the actual thearcanagame blog. Anyway, here’s the thread. Note how there’s mention of Julian being Jeff Goldblum... but nothing about him and Portia being Jewish (or “fantasy Jewish” as it were).

The one time they did confirm their jewishness dana then backpedaled and said she shouldn’t have done that lol.

another fun tidbit of how well The Arcana handles race and how much it cares about feedback from fans: an ask was sent about an anon begging for Nadia to step on them. The blog, with the finesse of a bunch of horny dumbasses, didn’t just publish the ask, but approved of it (even though the fans of color had long, long, LONG been telling everyone not to fetishize Nadia into a “step on me kween” wet dream). People were outraged, of course, and the blog ~apologized~ and said they were still learning.... then a new chapter included a scene of Nadia stepping on the Apprentice. 🙃

not to mention elle, on their twitter, made a passive aggressive “women can be doms?” tweet, trying to twist it into a “yr oppressing women” angle (when the issue is that women of color are always constantly portrayed as aggressive and domineering)

Now for a wombo combo of racism and Elle’s fetishization of mlm:

the devs have spoken at length of how Julian’s and Asra’s relationship was quite unhealthy. In a paid scene in Asra’s route, they’re depicted as Asra being disgusted w Julian touching him+Julian following Asra to his shop when Asra refused his offer to go with him (aka julian... stalked him lmfao).

.......... this scene is promptly followed by a highly sexual scenario where Julian’s pain fetish is played up. Remember how this game is rated PG-13? Me neither. Asra’s previous disgust with Julian is also forgotten, for some reason (and by some reason i mean Elle wants to make them fuck w/o buildup or logic).

Then Asra’s route has yet another paid scene dedicated to Asrian, even though he’s supposed to not even like Julian! And be head over heels with the Apprentice! But Elle just has to make these two be entangled despite insisting their relationship was not good for either of them!

Now here’s the kicker: Julian doesn’t have any paid scenes related to his romance with Asra. Note how it’s one of the brown LIs whose route is highjacked by the white LI, but not vice versa. Hmmmmm.

Now, on the topic of Asra: thearcanagame has said repeatedly that he’s nb and uses he/him pronouns, and promised (since last year) that there would be dialogue where he speaks about his gender

as of the making of this post such dialogue still does not exist

so basically asra is the nb to dumbledore’s gay: anyone who just plays the game w/o keeping up with the official blog has no idea of what asra’s gender is supposed to be.

aka he’s not nb. he’s just a cis guy. the arcana just doesn’t want to put its money where its mouth is, i dont care if elle is nb themself. the team made a promise which has not been fulfilled yet and i suspect will not be.

instead, our introduction to canon nb characters is... these two.

By “these two” i mean neither vulgora nor valdemar are even fucking human, and stick out like sore thumbs with their monstruousness.

so our nb rep is... non-human villains. a few books later one of Nadia’s sisters with they/them pronouns shows up, but that’s too little too late on top of the fact that we should’ve known Asra was nb from the first to begin with. It’s a fucking embarrassment and an insult.

at least two villains are visibly disabled (Lucio’s missing arm and Volta’s blind eye+intentionally asymmetrical face). Julian’s eye doesn’t count because, spoilers, he’s not lacking an eye and even if he was it’d still be hidden behind a dashing eyepatch instead of grotesquely displayed as a sign of his lacking morality.

BUT WAIT! IT DOESN’T EVEN END THERE!

The Arcana Exploits The App Business Model To Price Their Full Game at $500, $1000 if the three extra routes make it out, and they never delivered their Kickstarter rewards:

tl;dr: you heard me

the original price per route was planned on being $1.99

they took that “subject to change” really seriously, it seems, because now each route, once the game is fully out, is estimated to cost around $170 each.

both those screenshots are taken from this post which explains in detail just how truly scummy all of The Arcana’s business model and decisions are: https://mysticmicrotransactions.tumblr.com/post/174308723344/dishonesty-from-the-arcana

the tl;dr is basically what’s listed in the beginning of this section, but other highlights from that post are: the use of addictive gambling mechanics such the Wheel of Fortune, and the dazzling calls to action in the new mini-game.

something that The Arcana supporters forget (or choose to ignore) is the fact that for a long, long time the game did not have the mini-game or the log-in rewards for coins. Players depended only on the gambling of the WoF or paying absurd amounts of money for the new chapters.

the devs went from playing the victims who were unable of controlling prices to (as spoken of in the link from mysticmicrotransactions) saying the making of the game (a pathetic little app game backed by a studio and a kickstarter) justifies the prices

they also gave people false hope about maybe changing the prices in the future, all while bleeding money from loyal players in “micro” transactions

the arcana literally added a $99.99 coins option on their latest update

in case it hasn’t sunk in yet: you can pay a hundred dollars upfront to the arcana, and you still will not have access to the whole game

there is no defense to this

none

“it’s free stop whining” let me explain:

“spend months on end accumulating fake currency or pay hundreds of dollars up-front to be able to play” is a scummy business model no matter how you look at it

if i can spend $60 upfront to play an AAA game there’s no excuse to demand more than that for a game with much smaller and, honestly, inferior content

the combination of there being already far and few games featuring lgbt characters and characters of color AND the little cult of personality set up by Dana and Elle makes people feel that spending money to support them is an acceptable expense.

it’s not

manipulating people into spending ridiculous amounts of money and then claiming “it’s their choice” is just scummy business, baby, and thats all the arcana does

the devs are brats who instead of admitting $500 is absurd for a game instead write petty little caricatures into their game - like, lbr: dana, elle, if i could afford diamonds in my hair i wouldn’t have even bothered with your shitstain of a game

despite bragging that ppl would get the full story w/o needing to pay, the paid scenes are pretty much required - the first few books of julian’s route have no romance without accessing any of the paid options. you dont even get so much as a kiss in without handing coins over. many, many people were baffled when julian had a teary break-up scene when from their perspective they hadn’t even started building a relationship.

wow that’s more than i ever thought it’d be

and i’ve been aware of their bullshit for near a whole year now!

i don’t have much of a note to end this on, other than: the arcana just isn’t even that good. it suffers from weak writing, pathetic character development and above all actually harmful content. do not try to argue with me on any of these points unless you’ve read all of that, because whatever you have to say i’ve likely mentioned before. if you still are that determined to yell at a me on the internet, please preface your argument with the phrase “I’m a pee pee poo poo man” so I know you’ve read everything in here. thank you!

#the arcana #the arcana game #julian devorak #count lucio #asra #HAHA HOO BOY

[klanced]

soooooo i was late on asking for the second movie but i call dibs for whenever ur organized enough to infodump it: What Happens In The /Third/ Movie Katie Klanced?

I meant to post this last year but then I got suspended and forgot smh -_-

Anyway it’s been almost a year, so here are a few links to refresh your memory on the masterpiece that is my Despicable Me au. In fact, here’s the tag because I love this au.

In my correct opinion, the third DM movie is definitely the weakest in the franchise, and I pretty much ignored its canon plot and wrote my own. So sorry if there’s a few loose-ends/plot-holes. But this is a Despicable Me au, I am beholden to no gods, no rules.

Roughly a year has passed since the events of the second movie. Coran and Alfor have finally gotten together (they’re either dating or married, I haven’t decided yet). Allura is away at college because I have way too many characters on my hands and I have to sideline out of necessity. Sorry, Allura.

The movie opens up with the entire family getting ready for an award ceremony at the AVL happening that night. It’s about as hectic a scene as you can imagine. Lance is running around without a shirt on. Pidge is wearing three shirts. One is her pajama top, the second is Lance’s aforementioned missing shirt. No one has any idea where the third shirt came from.

When suddenly, the phone rings!

Krolia picks it up, paying only 1/3 attention to the person on the line before she yells that it’s for Coran. Coran limps over, half a chewed shoe in his hand, the other half still on his foot. His right eyebrow is smoking. He is, understandably, a little terse when he shouts to be heard over the background din into the phone.

The screen diagonally bisects, to show Coran on the phone and… Shiro on the other side of the line!

Shiro introduces himself as the new CPS worker assigned to Lance/Hunk/Pidge’s case. Coran immediately has a heart attack and runs to his soundproofed study, slamming the door behind him as Shiro continues to just. Awkwardly talk on the phone lol.

Coran, internally: oh shit oh shit oh FUCK oh shit why now why nowwww oh lord is he calling to take away the kids? is he going to take away my BABIES??

Shiro: sorry for the late phone call sir, i meant to call earlier but i dropped my phone in a puddle and- i mean! the life of a cps worker is just packed hahahahahahahahahaah (WHY are you still laughing you IDIOT) ha-ahem! anyway. i’m the new cps worker, have i mentioned that yet? because i am. it’s just that, after we realized that the kids’ last foster home and agent let a supervillain just walk out with them - uh, no offense, sir! i just meant that, well, supervillains are generally understood to be bad- not to imply that you’re evil of course! Haha of Course Not, even though you were Literally voted the world’s most evil and accomplished supervillain several years in a row, but! That’s neither here nor there. Of course. :)

DM!Verse Shiro is a bit of a nervous doof but he also has a spine of steel when it comes to kids and making sure their living situations are safe. And he is very skeptical of Coran and his parenting skills, which is honestly pretty reasonable considering he’s an outsider looking in. 

I mean, someone who was arguably the world’s greatest villain suddenly deciding to move to suburbia with his three (stolen) adopted kids does… seem like a bit of a stretch. And pretty sus lmfao.

Coran and Shiro eventually stutter their way into a productive conversation and arrange for Shiro to conduct a home visit/other CPS survey stuff very soon. Coran politely bids Shiro farewell, hangs up the phone, and has a panic attack because suddenly it feels like all his worse fears are coming true. Because the other shoe has finally dropped.

Life has been so kind to Coran lately, between his loving marriage and his lovable kids. It’s sad to say, but he’d half-expected something like this to happen for a while. Because people like him don’t deserve this kind of uninterrupted happiness.

Alfor quietly knocks on the door and takes in the scene before him. Coran reaches out, and he immediately rolls to his husband’s side.

Coran collapses against him and catches him up to speed. There’s a pause as Alfor pauses, absorbs, and digest the information, before he starts making calming shushing noises.

Insert Supportive Spouse Speech. Alfor reminds Coran that, for all he’s done in the past, he has damn well earned his present life. Alfor can attest to that, as can Krolia and, most importantly, their children. 

It also doesn’t hurt that the internationally recognized Anti-Villain League is both a sponsor of and willing to provide a character reference for Coran. That counts for something, and Coran finally calms down.

This is what we in the writing business like to call “foreshadowing” :)

Scene cut to the AVL award ceremony. Krolia and Coran are both being recognized for their incredible heroics from the past year, etc etc, blah blah blah. Their speeches are very true to their character.

At the end of it, Kolivan goes up and stage and announces he’s retiring. Krolia, who knew this was happening in advance and fully expects to be named as his replacement, starts checking her lipstick in her hand mirror- only for Kolivan to introduce a ‘Commander Hira’ to the crowds.

FML, this is exactly the plot to the Spongebob Squarepants movie.

The entire Wimbleton Smythe-Altea Family freeze, mid-applause. Hunk awkwardly puts away his ‘CONGRATULATIONS KROLIA!!!!!!!!’ banner. Krolia shatters her hand mirror in her fist.

Within her first month, Hira makes some dramatic changes to the AVL. One of which is the agency’s complete separation from anything having to do with villains, including its rehabilitation program.

“Once a villain always a villain” essentially. Hira insists that villains are simply too evil to ever truly become good again, and that so-called “former” criminals are simply biding their time until they can enact their revenge.

As a result, Coran is fired. Alfor protests Hira’s decision, and resigns out of solidarity. Krolia calls Hira a bitch and is also fired.

The kids are ecstatic that their dads + aunt are home 24/7 now. Krolia is less pleased. She’s been an active agent for more than half her life, so this sudden and forced turn for domesticity has her clawing at the walls.

One of the sub-plots is Alfor trying to convince Coran to become a superhero, “just like the old times.” (Coran: Love, I was literally your supervillain arch-nemesis).

Coran is hesitant, because 1) He still has low self-value and doesn’t see himself as a hero, and 2) He’s perfectly content to mooch off his billionaire boyfriend and spend his time as a stay-at-home dad.

To take their mind off their sudden unemployedness, Coran and Alfor throw themselves into preparing for Shiro’s house visit. This mainly entails Alfor calming Coran down from an anxiety attack every other hour. 

There is a lot of tension in the house.

And then, like magic! An invitation to the biggest supervillain symposium of the year appears, because villain mailing lists are especially evil and refuse to take Coran off their register even though he literally arrests villains for a living.

“So you’re telling me,” Krolia says, and Coran instinctively inches for the door. “That you’ve had an opening into the world’s biggest villain convention, this entire time, and you didn’t tell anyone?”

“W-e-ll,” Coran stutters, slapping blindly behind him for the doorknob, “It just didn’t seem very fair, you know? To ambush them like that, all because of their lazy office workers. That’s not very good sport.”

Krolia and Alfor try to convince Coran that he should go. Krolia is convinced this is the in they need to reclaim their jobs; they’ll infiltrate the Supervillain Symposium, arrest all the biggest bads, call the AVL, rub it in Hira’s face, take a selfie while she’s sobbing in the background, celebrate as the masses drag Hira to the guillotine-

Coran: Krolia I love you, I really do. But you have issues.

Krolia: I happen to be perfectly adjusted for someone in my situation.

Coran is still hmming and hawwing because, now that he doesn’t have to fight villains for a living, he quite likes Not Being In Constant Danger. But then Krolia reminds him that he is both unemployed AND now blacklisted by the AVL, two things which might very well doom him in the eyes of Shiro (and the rest of CPS). He needs to do this if he wants his job back and, therefore, keep his kids.

(…. At some point, Coran shaves off his mustache in a stress-filled attempt at appearing as a better guardian, but no one recognizes him so he has to wear a fake mustache for the rest of the movie)

Coran of course is immediately super gung-ho for this plan and declares they’re leaving ASAP.

The kids of course are raring to go, the adults are vehemently hell no to that idea, and in the ensuing argument everyone forgets that Shiro is coming today. 

A series of events thus follows, which can be summarized as:

The adults say that the kids can’t come.

The kids decide that yes, in fact, kids can come and plan accordingly.

The kids are preparing to tail after the adults (after waiting a reasonable amount of time of course (this isn’t their first rodeo) in their own modified plane when they hear what sounds like their babysitter, the Reformed Lotor, coming around the corner.

The kids immediately go into attack mode only to realize, after the dust has settled, that they’ve actually knocked out Shiro.

In their infinite pre-teen wisdom, the kids decide to stick with the plan and load Shiro into their equivalent trunk and take off.

A few moments later, Lotor finally arrives, looks up from his phone, realizes there are no kids to be watched, and shrugs and goes home.

The scene cuts to Shiro groggily stumbling out of the corner the kids have stashed the plane in, only to realize, to his absolute horror, that he’s on an island filled with Supervillains attending a Supervillain Convention.

Hunk: Man… I feel like we forgot something.

*Shiro screaming in the distance*

For brevity’s sake I’ll cut off here, but just know that this is only the FIRST THIRD (IF EVEN THAT) of the movie. I am absolutely off the CHAINS. I still haven’t even introduced Keith yet. I love this au.

#voltron #coran #alfor #krolia #lance #pidge #hunk #alforan #despicable me au #long post #ask #anonymous #katiecanons #if it isn't obvious i'm trying to clear out some of my drafts and. well. i love this au so lmfao #otp: gay dads

[borisbubbles]

ESC2019:  Preshow #25

25. HUNGARY Joci Pápai - “Az én apam” SemiFinal 1, #07

Ugh; fucking Joci of all people giving me a writer’s block. I MISS the milk jug tapping REALNESS of his previous entry :( He is not giving me much to work with.

ENTRY ANALYSIS

Having said that, I don’t  “Az én apám” is without its own charms. It’s a cute, touching song about Joci’s deceased father and well, I ranked both Michael Schulte AND AWS high last year, so obviously it’s a subject I like and can relate to. I like it!

The problem is that the song, as I’m sure you’ll all agree with, is sort of... bare? Lol. It gave off cool indie vibes at first with the whistling gimmick but Joci replaced the whistling with sentimental strings and this sapped the song of a lot of its inherent indie power. I like the song, but only very *VERY* mildly so. Right now, it’s closer to “Qami” than it is to “Origo” and it’s a real damn’ shame. :’(

However, the above isn’t the only reason I’m booting Joci. I also cannot forget the circumstances under which he won A Dal. Hungary was one of the countries that engaged in VILE HUMAN BEHAVIOUR during its NF (along with Romania, France, Ukraine and Italy) and my opinion of A Dal 2019 bled into my opinion of Joci as well. 

Since I don’t have anything to add Joci, let us dive in to the gothic horror novel that was this year’s A Dal, as told by yours truly:

NF Corner

The trouble began when the jurors, gave a mere 37 points to Leander Kills, allegedly because of “poor lyrics” (ed: the song is in Hungarian, nobody fucking cares) Now, I am actually NOT a fan of Leander Kills’s usual repertoire  (Killjoy metal isn’t my style), but this year they entered with an upbeat folk entry: 

Sounds like an obvious contender, right? Well, something went horribly wrong :( 

Now, the one thing you need to know about A Dal is that every there is ONE abysmal chartmonster who proves UNKILLABLE in the televote. In 2019 this contestant was USNK, who were even worse than the normal audience fave. You can already predict where this will go, but whatever: the juries rigged LK out of the top five seemingly by accident, (like seriously. they were stupefied that LK didn’t qualify. wat.) and then they died to USNK in the televote. AND THEY WERE THE UNIVERSAL FAVE TO WIN!!!

So how do you think the audience responded? Like any responsible, mature adult would: by piling white hot social media hate on one of jury faves. There were several weird entries the A Dal jury had the hots for reasons nobody can guess: Bogy Nagy??? Acoustic planet??? Bence Vavra?? MOSCOK 1 KÖLYÖK???? Wtf!!! Get those insipid bitches OUT!!!

Unfortunately, the contestant the Casualtards decided to hate on was the best song in all of A Dal 🙄 Meet bug-eyed cherub Petruska:

"Help me out of here” was an  immensely clever song that cannot get enough praise imo: It uses a cheerful beat to conduct a very cynical message about the end of the world, turning a heavy subject into a lightweight digestive. The intelligent message is framed by a fantastic 80s, Paul Simon-esque sound, elevated to a higher level by Petruska’s palpable anxiety. Had it won, it would have made an AMAZING entry for Hungary and done very well.

Sadly, the audience fabricated a plagiarism claim (of a VAMPIRE WEEKEND song, of all things), and called for Petruska’s severed head on a pike so... the producers of A Dal... instead of supporting an artist they chose for their own NF, conceded and DQ’d Petruska... WHAT THE FUCK???? Whenever BULLYING wins, it’s a dark day for ALL OF MANKIND!!! Even if the plagiarism claim were valid (it was questionable at best. are you aware what VampWeekend’s discography sounds like, lmfao?), then why let Petruska enter A Dal in the first place??? FUCKING NUMBSKULLS

Eventually USNK were slain by the best remaining entry, ~MIDDLETONZ~, the name of Andras Kallay-Saunders’s current musical project.  A mix of R&B, Hiphop and Dubstep that actually works well?

After LK and Petruska had been unfairly slain, Middletonz (or the very adequate and likable Gergö Székér, I haven’t forgotten about him, @aws-deserved-better!!!) would’ve made an excellent entry, but alas it wasn’t meant to me.

Qualification Odds: Borderline (Advantaged)

I currently have Hungary among my qualifiers, because I find it pretty difficult to find flaws in “Az én apám”. It’s a good song, plain and simple. 

That said, it might be too plain and simple? 

We have some information on Joci’s staging: He will incorporate photographs of other people’s dads into the backdrop and... ew. You know how much I don’t like Sob Stories. Dropping your quirky vibe to go all out on the schmaltz is not a decision I support. If you miss your mark, you miss it BADLY and have nothing to recover from. 

As such I wonder whether Joci might surprise NQ?  “Az én apám” is the Eurovision equivalent of the side salad you get with your protein and carbs: light, tasty, having it there is better than not having it there, but as a whole totally not something you’d order by itself. If any entry in the first semifinal gets Qami’d, it’s this one.

Projected placement: 6th-15th in the semifinal. If he qualifies, 15th-24th in the Grand Final.

Link to the masterpost

#Eurovision 2019 #Hungary #Joci Papai #Az en apam

[sinful-liesel]

HypnosisMic 1st LIVE @ Ikebukuro Reading Part -DIGEST-

A few highlights/translation of my favorite parts: ↴

4:08

Saburo: Ichi-ni, is this tiny guy really Ramuda?

*Yuusuke Shirai bends knees slightly*

Accurate representation of Ramuda’s height difference compared to the guys?! 😂  Seriously, even Saburo, a middle school student, is taller than him! haha cute!!!

7:19

Jakurai: Good grief, I didn’t expect to see you two in a place like HypnosisMic. Still the same as ever, I see.

Ramuda: hahaha *mutters something under his breath* ahahaha It’s good to see you again, Jakurai! Still the same as ever, with that lively expression of yours~

Ramuda’s laugh is so fake and he’s so cheeky when he’s talking to Jakurai. He’s clearly mocking him when he says “Still the same as ever, with….” lol I couldn’t hear very well what Ramuda mutters under his breath, but we can all probably guess what he said! Anyways, if anyone was able to hear clearly, please let me know!

8:00

Ichiro @ Jakurai & Ramuda: Settle down, you two!

*Samatoki walks in*

Ichiro:  *triggered* SAMATOKI!!!!

I love how Ichiro was like “calm down you guys” but as soon as he saw Samatoki, he lost it lmfao

10:00

Ramuda: Hey, hey, hey! I really like both Ichiro and Samatoki, I don’t like seeing you two argue, so *don’t~ (≧◡≦)

Ichiro: Come again?

Ramuda: *dooon’t~ (≧◡≦)

Ichiro: (⌒_⌒;) ・・・ah

Omg this one was really difficult to translate. I had to replay it multiple times! and I still couldn’t clearly make out what Ramuda was saying. Just like Ichiro, I was like: Come again? (⌒_⌒;) ・・・ but OMG RAMUDA IS SO CUTE!!! Especially that “mee~ dayo~ (≧◡≦) ♡

*めっ : I have no idea what Ramuda meant, I would have to see the character for the “me” he used. I did find that “me” can be used as “no!; don’t!; tsk!; used to scold small children and pets​“ and since Ramuda is always being a cutie, I can imagine him scolding Ichiro and Samatoki in a cute way lol + the way he points his finger kinda gives me the impression that he is scolding them It makes more sense to me, than him using the “目” (me) for “eye”. I could have even heard wrong, so if anyone knows please let me know~

**Please DO NOT REPOST my translations anywhere without permission.**

Please note: Audio translation is not my forte. Translation may not be 100% accurate.

#hypnosismic #hypnosis microphone #matenrou #mad trigger crew #fling posse #buster bros #hypmic #hypnosis mic #Yuusuke Shirai #Subaru Kimura

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10/26/19 3:40 am - Inventing A New Ranking System For People

Alright I don’t know if it’s sexist since I’m bi (LOL Andi would hate when I called shit gay and say that it’s okay because I’m half-gay).

But I did a lot of brainstorming and wanted to show off my new rating scale.

1-10 is trash. We used to parody it by saying it was more efficient to just do Binary where 0 is you wouldn’t smash and 1 is you would.

There’s just no depth there.

The crazy-hot chart is at least a little better because it’s got two factors you’re assessing.

So Here’s what I’ve got for you today.

I spent that one night at Darlin’s watching her stream and drawing this picture because I kept imagining what it would be like to write down all my feelings and have her read about how much I loved her and how highly I thought about her and maybe she’d take me back. I came up with this scale, but didn’t draw that part of this page out until just now.

I’m glad I’m writing the official scale part and all the numbers now that I don’t really want Andi back. It all feels more honest, though the opinions haven’t really changed. One of the things I said to Andi when I was breaking off our friendship was that I felt shitty like I was manipulating her back into a relationship and not being real friends with her.

Honestly I don’t know if I could control myself to try to be platonic friends with her now. Probably not, I’m tryna fuck like everyone I hang out with LMAO.

But anyway, Andi and I loved DnD and so that was the inspiration for this scale. Forreal here it is:

So here’s the rundown. You’ve got your normal 6 stats on the left, Strength, Dexterity, Constitution, Intelligence, Wisdom, and Charisma. 

It helps to fill these out as well, because then you have 12 points of assessment.

For example, Andi’s digestive issues means that there is no fucking WAY she’d be able to pass a constitution check on poison, since she can barely eat most regular foods; hence she has a -2 in that stat. It also helps to remember that when you’re doing real stats that 18 is like supergenius and 20 is literally unachievable naturally so there’s no way you ought to give a real person much higher than like a 16 or 17 intellect.

Okay now here’s the fun part. My made up stats are Hobbies, Spontaneity, Mental Health, Sex, Beauty, and Status/Refinement. 

Hobbies are what I consider to be the strength of a relationship. It’s how much you guys have in common with the things you like to do. On these stats I think it’s more natural to fill them out to a max score of 20. Andi gets two points off for not liking drugs and not liking fucked up shit from 4chan or videos where she gets grossed out like Me!Me!Me! but she was damn near perfect in terms of wanting to do stuff I wanted to do. Drinking, video games, sex? Yeah. got it.

Spontaneity is a subjective stat. One person’s SPO 20 is probably another person’s SPO 1, after all. You’d want someone in your life to be as crazy and willing to go out and do wild shit as you are, I’d presume. Or at least I do, which is why in terms of having Andi ready to go on road trip adventures across the country with me she didn’t quite hold up. I’d give her a -2 but she did fuck me in a parking lot the first night I met her. Really thought about giving her a flat stat just for that, but overall I think it’s negative.

Mental Health isn’t just a category for me to take a jab at Andi for having depressive issues, I fucking swear I’m not that much of a dick. Mental Health, or MHP, is a throwback to that Crazy-Hotness chart/meme/adage. You really do have to take into account if someone isn’t going to slice your ass with razor blades when they fuck you lmfao, or if they’re going to fight with you or fuck your friends any chance they get. Some people are just crazy and now here’s a stat for that. But alright yes, I am an asshole and took off points because Andi was depressed so much lmfao.

Sex + Beauty  I like these stats being their own categories for the same reason that INT and WIS are different stats. Raw beauty is your natural 1-10 scale of hotness. Of course, it’s more accurate because it includes .5 decimals by going 1-20. I’d give Andi a 7.5 on my hotness scale, where 10s are like Natalie Portman, Britney Spears ~Toxic era, and Kimberly from the Power Rangers. So in DnD Beauty she gets a 15. She had perfect tits, a great ass, a tight stomach, a pretty smile, and legs for fucking days, man. Pretty fucking hot.  For sex, I’d say you should rate someone on a scale from 1-18 normally, just because an 18 is the highest stat you can roll naturally before increasing your stats with feats. But then you can continue to add 1 or 2 if they actually have some mindblowing skills. Like if they give the best head you’ve ever gotten or something they can break into that best-in-the-world territory that a 19/20 stat in DnD is supposed to represent.  That being said, Andi was one of my favorite fucks. She didn’t have unbelievable stamina on top and didn’t give a legendary blowjob. But she was ALWAYS ready to fuck. And so enthusiastic. And so sexy. And kinky. The only area she loses points from rolling the nat 18 is for kissing and for whatever was causing the puss flavor.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I really honestly think it was just because we were too lazy to shower most of the weekend though so I didn’t want to take a whole second point off for that.

And so that leaves us with Status (/Refinement) Status is a somewhat more nebulous stat, but I wanted to add a stat in for how classy someone is. Does she come from a rich family? Does she have money? Does she make more money than you? How is her taste in music and culture and art? Would you feel shitty not taking her out to a fancy restaurant? Like sometimes you have to acknowledge that you’re tryna fuck a hot piece of trailer trash. It’s fine, man. Like Mungo Jerry said In The Summertime, “If her daddy’s rich, take her out for a meal / If her daddy’s poor, just do what you feel.” It’s not a bad thing to not be classy.  For starters I liked that Andi made a little more money than me, but she wasn’t rich enough to take me in and be my sugar momma 😂 I also didn’t think she had Great taste in anime and music, so she ends up in an above-average-but-still-kinda-middling stat. 

And that covers it!

I hope this doesn’t make me the worst person ever. But I might start reviewing all the people I sleep with like this. I think it really demonstrates their appeal a lot more than anything else I’ve heard of. 

Let me know if I’m the biggest piece of shit ever for this so I know not to do it though lmfao.

Also Andi, if you ever read this for some reason I hope you’re... flattered? I guess? I really hope you meant what you said when you told me I could write about you because... this is probably a lot. I really don’t think I was out of your league though, and when you looked at your porn pics of us and said you couldn’t believe your ass looked so good I hope you know you always looked great. 

💕 It really was fun. Unblock me so we can be friends again. It’d be cool to chill now that I’m in a better headspace I think. 

I was thinking about calling you when I finally got to this part in my catching up, but I want to give you your space. Forever, I guess. You always said you were the bad bitch Ex’s And Oh’s girl who would have your exes chasing you to the end of the Earth and I’m not about that chase lmao.  But you were worth it. You were worth a lot more, to be honest lol, I wish I had gotten my shit together before we broke up instead of after. But you really convinced me to treat myself right, and take better care of myself in a way that nobody outside of my family has and you mean a lot to me for that. So I hope you’re doing well and I don’t want to do anything to fuck that up if you are, so I’m not gonna be that ex that calls you out of the blue that says “oh are you ready to be friends again, sorry for that shit I said.” Also because I’m not. But if you wanted to be friends anyway that’d be rad.  💕 💕