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#it’s been over half a year and I have not had a single job application accepted at any place

artificial-transmutations · 7 months

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Beating Recession

Recession sucked, that much was clear to Logan even before he checked his email inbox. When he saw a few replies to his job applications from the last days, he sighed. He didn't need to open the mails to know that the news was bad, but he did so anyway.

"We regret to inform you..." - Logan didn't even read on. He had lost his job as an apprentice electrician about half a year ago. The company was going under, and Logan, the youngest and least experienced worker, was the first to go. That's how it was in this business. Since then, he had applied to every single position that came up - but apparently, the current economic situation was so bad that nobody needed another worker.

Logan had hoped that his apprenticeship would get him a job, but the fact that he was only 20 and had not much practical experience hurt him. Slowly, money was becoming a pretty big problem. Whatever savings he had (for some real estate of his own! As if that was going to happen!) had melted away over the last months. His rent was due, and he had no income.

In fact, he was one month late with his rent already, and although his landlord had been cool about it, Logan did not see how he would be able to keep his apartment. He really, really wanted to avoid moving back in with his parents who had their own problems, too.

So, what was he going to do? There wasn't much more to do than keep looking for a job, even though his chances were slim.

He opened LinkedOut and looked for openings, just as he had done multiple times before this week. The sparse list of jobs had not changed, so Logan scrolled on.

He was about to give up again when a listing caught his eye.

"Escape unemployment today! Change™ job agency will find the perfect job, for the perfect you. Apply here!"

He had heard of such agencies before, and the results were not pretty. Usually, they just took the applicants' data and sold it on. They would claim to have found a job for you, but it usually wouldn't work out, and the applicant would have paid money for this useless service. Still, Logan was curious enough to click the link. If they wanted money, he would back out immediately - it was not like he had any to spare.

To Logan's big surprise, when he clicked the link, a new page opened, with a web-based chat interface. Before he could close the tab again, there was already a message in the window. It read:

"Kevin: Hey, and welcome to the Change™ job agency. My name is Kevin. How may I help you today?"

It was a nice surprise that they didn't try to sell him anything or even ask for his data before he had entered the website. Well, no harm done. He might as well give them a try. Hesitating slightly, Logan's fingers hovered over the keyboard before he typed:

"Hi. I'm Logan and I'm looking for a new job."

The answer came quickly, but not so quickly that Logan would suspect the other person to be a chatbot. After some moments, Kevin's reply appeared on the screen:

"Great. What kind of job are you looking for? And what kind of salary are we talking?"

Logan considered the questions. This was probably the point where they would ask him for his data. He silently cursed his excessive caution. Of course, they had to ask these questions. How else should they offer him anything?

"Uhm. My last job was as an apprentice electrician, but at this point I would be pretty happy about just any job. The salary should be high enough to pay my rent."

Logan hesitated before hitting enter. He didn't want to come over as quite so desperate, but the truth was, he was.

"Okay, no problem. Do you have a preferred working sector?"

What a weird question. Why did it matter what industry he preferred?

"Uhm, not really. I guess anything is fine."

"Very well. Before I look up what's there in our database, I would need some basic information about you. Namely gender, age, ethnicity and sexual orientation."

"Wait. What does my sexual orientation have to do with a job? Besides, why do you need to know my ethnicity? Is this even legal?"

Logan had typed furiously and pressed enter before thinking about his reply.

"I understand your confusion. We here at the Change™ job agency strive to find not only a job, but the best job for the best you, so we need to know what we're working with. It wouldn't be very appropriate to apply a person as an actress who is really good at sports, now would it? Of course, you have to understand that your answers are confidential and will not be disclosed to any third parties, especially not your future employer."

That was fishy deluxe. Logan really didn't want to feed some unknown job agency all that highly personal information. On the other hand,... what did he have to lose?

"Well, I guess it can't hurt. Uhm. I'm a male, 20 years old, I would call myself white and I'm heterosexual."

"Wonderful. One last question: Are you comfortable with nudity and public sexual activities?"

"Wait, WHAT? I mean, uhm, sure, I guess? I mean, why should I need that?"

"This question is purely to determine if we should also have a look in the adult entertainment section of our job offerings. Alright Logan, please stand by while I enter your data into our search engine."

Logan leaned back. He felt a bit uneasy about all that. But it was not like his answers could lead them directly to his apartment, so he felt relatively safe.

A minute or so passed, and Logan started to think that he had been tricked after all, but just as he was about to close the tab, a new message appeared.

"Sorry for the delay, I had a few calls. We found two jobs that could be a fit. The first one is an office job in a big insurance company. To be honest, it's not that good of a fit and it doesn't pay very well either."

"That's fine." Logan wrote. He was incredibly on edge now. Could it really be so easy to find a new job? And he even had a choice?

"What's the other one?" he added to his previous message.

"Okay, the other job is a bit more unconventional, but we have the feeling it could be a great match. It's an actor position in the porn industry, at the famous XXX Incorporated."

"Porn? What? Are you serious? I mean, I don't have anything against porn or nudity or whatever, but I'm not sure if this is the kind of job I want."

Logan felt mixed feelings. The prospect of being some office drone sounded pretty uninteresting and a low pay wasn't all that good either. But a porn actor? Logan had to admit, the thought felt somewhat interesting, but he doubted he had what it took for that? Weren't porn stars famously hung and well-built? That was certainly not Logan. Just as he pondered those thoughts, Kevin's answer appeared:

"I understand Sir. So, should we continue with the first job opening then?"

Logan bit his lip, but the curiosity got the better of him.

"Wait. What does the second job entail? I mean, I'm not exactly... equipped for the porn business."

"Well, as I have said: It's an actor position, so you would star in some new adult entertainment productions. While I understand your modesty, our records show that you are more than adequately gifted for this kind of job."

Logan felt confused. He absentmindedly scratched his crotch before he replied:

"Uhm, sorry, I don't think you understand. I don't really think my..." Logan paused. Was he really going to write that? It was embarrassing, but at least he could be reasonably sure he would never meet this Kevin in real life. So, he continued:

"... penis is big enough for such a position."

The answer came promptly.

"Really? Better have a look to be sure ;-)"

A winking smiley? That wasn't very professional. Actually, the whole sentence wasn't. Still, Logan couldn't stop himself from glancing at his crotch. What he saw made him take a double take. His soft cock was forming a visible and ample bulge in his jeans. Logan knew that he was slightly smaller than average, so that was ridiculous. It was almost a... a porn star-sized bulge!

He stared at his package, but it wasn't growing any smaller. With trembling hands, he opened his jeans. Immediately, a well-filled pair of boxers escaped the confinement of his jeans. The dick print of his soft member was clearly visible in his underwear, and it wasn't just much bigger than Logan remembered. It was among the biggest bulges he had ever seen in his life!

His hands explored the impressive manhood through his underwear and felt every centimeter of the hardening dick. He had no idea what had caused this growth, but he wasn't complaining. Before he could interact more with it, however, he noticed another message on the screen.

"Are you still there, Sir?"

"Sorry, yes." Logan hurried to reply. What was he going to write? "I was below average just a few moments ago but now I have one of the biggest cocks in human history"?

Instead, Kevin answered.

"Good! I trust you had a chance to inspect your assets?"

"Uhm, yes."

"So, have you made up your mind, or should I look into the office position?"

Logan was torn. He wasn't sure what he had seen just a moment ago. Still, his enormous cock that was half-hard in his boxers was there, undeniably.

"Let's go with the porn star position." Logan finally typed, and his heart was racing.

"Very good! Now, as I mentioned, the position is in the adult entertainment sector. Do you know the company XXX Incorporated?"

Logan thought quickly about it before replying: "No, sorry, never heard of them."

"That is not at all surprising, since they specialize in the adult sector for homosexual men. According to your data, you identify as heterosexual. I hope that won't be a problem?"

Of course, there was a catch. Logan had heard about these gay for pay people and he hesitated yet again. They paid well, supposedly, but...

"Uhm. Would that mean I would need to be on the receiving end?" He wasn't too close-minded and could imagine kissing another man if he had to, perhaps even receiving a blow job from one. But having another person fuck him in the ass? No, that was way beyond his comfort zone.

"I believe the technical term you are looking for is 'to bottom'." Kevin replied, and added another message shortly after:

"But the company is, in fact, looking for a 'top' actor. They put it like this: 'We are looking for a well-built top for our new productions.'"

Logan was relieved. While he was a gold star gay man (why did he put 'heterosexual'? That was utter bullshit!), he was a strict top. This position sounded better and better. Still, one thing raised some new doubts.

"Hold on. I'm hung like a horse, but I wouldn't say I'm very muscular or even fit. I'm not much of a gym goer."

"Are you sure ;-)?"

Again, with the winking smiley! Kevin sounded so very professional most of the time, but then there were these messages. Logan scratched the back of his shoulder with some effort. Whenever he raised his arms so high the mountains of muscle on his upper arms danced and made it difficult to reach his back. Logan suddenly realized that something had changed - again! His shirt strained against his muscular chest, and as he lifted his shirt, he could see some cobblestone abs on an otherwise flat stomach. His calves had become thicker and strong. His jeans, which had felt slightly loose earlier, now seemed to be getting tighter.

Logan had never been very athletic. His body was lean, but not fit or muscular. That had certainly changed. When he looked at himself, he hardly recognized himself anymore. A huge dick, and a studly body.

Logan shook his head and let the shirt fall again. Whatever was going on, it was not a bad thing, was it?

"Alright, so I'm a buff top with a big cock. Is there anything else?" he smiled as he wrote that.

"Actually, there is one further requirement, but given your cooperation so far I don't believe it will be much of a problem either." Kevin replied, in his professional tone again.

"And what would that be?" Logan was intrigued.

"The company is especially looking for a, and I cite, 'huge, dominant Black top with large dick. Intellectual capabilities are not required'. Are you feeling up to that task? ;-)"

This time, Logan immediately raised his shirt to watch his body change. As soon as he read the words, his skin began darkening, first a golden bronze and then a rich black. It was a gradual change but happened very quickly. His muscles became even more defined, and his body hair thickened and grew even darker.

He didn't know what 'intellectual capabilities' meant, but as his body grew larger and thicker, he felt a strange fog entering his mind. It was a little unsettling at first, but it wasn't entirely unpleasant. His usual thoughts quickly became overshadowed by his raising libido. As he grabbed his huge, Black throbbing cock, a dominant smirk crept on his mouth.

He turned his attention back to the computer and typed:

"Yeah, baby. I think I can make that happen. Just tell me who to fuck and I'll be there!"

He saw Kevin reply with a street address and a date and time, but Logan decided he would read that later. Now, his cock demanded his entire attention. He absentmindedly noticed his webcam turning on but paid it little attention. If Kevin wanted to watch him jerk his fat cock, he was very welcome to. After all, he just helped him find the job of his life!

That's certainly a way to beat recession! Also check out this blog!

#male transformation #muscle transformation #straight to gay #dumbing down #racial transformation

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milky-mink · 2 years

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Nanny

Yandere Izana with a Nanny Darling

Disclaimer: Middle-aged but DILF Izana

TW: Yandere, Manipulation, Drugging, Somnophilia, Non-Con, Dub-Con, Mind Break

You anxiously looked over your wristwatch for the seventh time as you waited for the bus to stop at your place. “Come on, I don’t want to be late, '' you thought as you looked over again to the road. There was no vehicle in sight; you then grumbled under your breath. You’ve woken up early and got dressed and even set extra timers for this day. You really couldn’t afford to lose this job since it was the only one that offered excellent pay, and it had employment benefits such as vacation days, extra pay, and even dental plans, which is a far cry compare to your previous jobs, even those that had a decent salary but had a terrible working time and fewer employment benefits. But even then, you really can’t enjoy it because you have somehow gotten fired so suddenly by your employer.

Ever since you graduated from college, it's been hard to get a job or stay there for a long time. Hell, you’ve even tried to apply at a fast-food joint, but you still got rejected, saying that you were overqualified for the job and that it would be a hassle to pay you. That is why you are desperate to arrive on time for this job. Because of your bad luck with your employment, you had been struggling with your budget for months and if you bust this job, your landlord might as well kick you out due to your overdue payment in your apartment.

And you feared that happening since you really didn’t have any family member to take you in, much less a close friend that would do it for you. If you couldn’t keep this job, you were surely going to be homeless next week.

As you mulled over your terrible situation, you suddenly heard a bus coming your way, which snapped you out of your train of thought. “Oh, finally,�� you thought as you waited for the bus to stop at your station. When the bus door opened, you quickly entered the vehicle and paid the toll on the machine near the bus driver. Seeing that you are the only one at the station, the bus driver quickly closed the door and drove off to the next bus stop. As you sit on the chair, you quickly pull up your phone and check again on the address that you were going to work at. The place is in Minato Ward in Tokyo, even though you are from Nerima, which is a little farther if you consider the distance of the wards. Despite that, a thirty-minute train ride would be a slight inconvenience to you compared to a lifetime of regret if you don’t take this job, which you desperately need right now.

When the bus finally stopped at the train station, you swiftly exited the bus and entered the train station. You then pull out your phone, which had your IC card on its back, which thankfully still had some balance on it. You then quickly swipe it on the turnstile and run on the platform to wait for the train, to your luck is arriving shortly at the train station. When the train car’s doors open, you shoved yourself into the small crowd who are entering the train. Even though the train is quite packed with passengers, you thankfully found a spot to sit on and relax until you’ve arrived at your stop, which is about thirty minutes if you estimated the time. It would be very painful for your feet if you had to stand for half an hour in the same place.

As you wait for your stop, you pull out your phone again and read the job that you are going to have. It is basically becoming a nanny for a single father that lived alone with his son. Apparently, your employer, Mister Kurokawa, wanted to hire a nanny who has a college degree that involves working with younger children. Luckily for you, you just got your degree in early childhood education last year. Honestly, it was god-sent when you found this job ad while scrolling down through countless job sites on your phone, and it was a miracle when you were quickly accepted by your employer after sending your application online for just a few hours of sending it to them. Honestly, you thought that your employer would not even look at your application. You were just a fresh college graduate with little experience. Don’t even ask about your job history, which is a mess itself. Your job requirement is simple really: take care of the child as best as you can while simultaneously stimulating his capacity for learning and mobility. Which is the usual requirement for most of your previous jobs already. Your employer also sent you information that involves his son. He’s eight months old and dubbed ‘high maintenance’ by his father endearingly. His baby is very dexterous for his age and drinks more milk than a normal baby.

The baby was also very touchy especially to those who they have bonded with the most, which was very usual for babies his age. Mister Kurokawa had also sent you a few pictures of his baby, which were very adorable. Some of them were his baby wearing various colorful onesies, while others were him getting fed by him or his baby doing baby things. It made you hopeful of staying on the job for a long time, or at least a few years, since you are going to teach and raise his baby for quite a long time, and you can finally use your degree in something that you are really passionate about, which was a win-win situation for you honestly. Even if your situation is finally looking up, dread still lingers in your mind, since you have a sequence of bad luck on jobs. What if this also applies to your current one? What if in less than a month, something would happen and your employer, just like your previous one, would sack you quickly because of a reason that is out of your control or was just a small mistake. That really made you nervous, making your palms sweat.

But you shook away those thoughts, wanting to distract yourself from your past. Maybe that this would be different from your past employment since you can only focus on one person and have fewer demands compared to your previous jobs. And besides, you can now actually focus on a child instead of taking care of many without addressing their individual needs. Even though you love your previous experience with some of your previous jobs, it irked you that you can’t focus on a child’s problem without another one taking your attention, making the previous child feel ignored. You love the job really, but sometimes, it could get really demanding not only on your responsibilities but also the children that demand total attention from you.

As you pondered more about your situation, your train stopped and announced that you’ve arrived at the station that is your stop. You got up and exited the train car before looking at the address on your phone; the place that you were going to work at is a little bit far away from the station, but nonetheless, you then swiftly walk towards the exit and walk to your destination. As you walk towards the place, you somehow got lost. It’s your first time in Minato since you’ve never been in this ward of Tokyo before. You bit your lip anxiously while looking again at Google Maps; you have somehow got lost and even an app that could provide your location and ways couldn’t even help you. How screwed up does your luck have to be when it comes to your employment? Just as when you are about to call your employer for directions, you suddenly bump into someone.

“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry!” you said in a concerned tone as you looked over at who you’ve bumped into. The man was shorter than you. He had healthy-looking tan skin and silky white hair. His eyes were a rare orchid shade, and his face looked like it belonged to one of those foreign models in magazines. His muscles are obvious as he wore a white turtleneck shirt and black baggy pants. “No worries, I’m okay - how about you?” he asked as he looked up at you, which made you lightly blush.

You can’t help but look away in embarrassment. “A-ah, I’m alright, s-sorry for bumping into you,” you stutter, not looking down to meet his gaze. You heard him chuckle in amusement, which made you kind of embarrassed, to be honest.

“Ah, are you lost? You seem anxious while looking down at your phone. Did something happen to you?”

You hear him ask.

You finally look back at him and shyly nod at his question, flustered by how obvious you are, but at the same time, flattered by the person’s concern for you. “U-uhm, it's actually kinda funny really, I have a new workplace at this ward and I- I don’t really know the place, so I use Google Maps and still I’m lost” you mumbled, ashamed of your current situation. As you twirled your fingers, trying to calm down, you saw the man then tilt his head for a moment but then smile at you, “I’m familiar with this place, so how about I point you in the right direction?” he offered, you then looked back at him, eyes widening in surprise.

You thanked the man for his help and apologized again before showing him the address of the place. When you show it to him, to your surprise, he just giggles and then looks at you. “I never thought that I would bump into you, Miss (L/N).”

Your eyes winded, realizing who he is. “M-mister Kurokawa, I-I’m sorry,” you hurriedly said and quickly gave him a low bow. As you looked down at the pavement, you heard an amused chuckle coming from him.

“No worries, Miss (L/N), no need for bowing”. As you heard those words, you looked back at him. Straightening your posture, you smiled, “Thank you for your consideration, Mister Kurokawa, I’m sorry that I have to meet you this way.”

He waved it off and offered to walk you back to his place, which you quickly agreed to. While walking together, you can’t help but to be embarrassed inside, why does it have to be this way to meet your boss? “Oh my god, I hope that he isn’t angry,” you thought as you thought about your earlier interaction.

When the two of you arrived at a rather slick-looking building, it was one of the few skyscrapers in the area, and it looks like it was rather well guarded for some reason. As the two of you entered the building, various people in formal attire bowed down at Mister Kurokawa, welcoming him back. Their action made you nervous, terrible thoughts swirled in your mind as you realized what kind of person is your employer. Obviously, he was a very important person, maybe an owner of a large company or an heir, since he looks too young to be the owner. When the two of you entered the elevator, you kept a polite distance from him, not wanting to make yourself look unprofessional like your previous actions made you seem. You needed to show him just how capable you were to be hired for this job and your previous stuttering didn’t help you gain that image; you hoped that for the next few days, your image in his mind would improve once you’d shown your capabilities on handling your job.

The elevator stopped and opened its doors, revealing a long hallway that led to an enormous door, which had a security camera in front of it. The two of you walked up to that door, which quickly opened once the camera recognized your employer’s face. After you entered the gate, the two of you walked into another hallway that had another elevator, which would most likely be the way towards Mister Kurokawa’s home. The two of you entered that elevator and waited for a few moments before finally arriving at his home, which is a penthouse above this building.

“Oh wow,” you thought as you marveled at the view of the skyscraper. The place overlooked every building in Minato, even the other skyscrapers. You could also look down to see the Tokyo Tower, which was very fascinating. You snapped out of your wonder and looked back at your employer, who was walking around the main building of the penthouse. The two of you entered a glass door that slid open, welcoming you to his house. As you expected, everything looks meticulously placed and designed as if it catered to your boss’s taste, which is most likely the case. The two of you then walked down a hallway, passing by rooms and glass windows that overlooked the gardens and surprisingly a tea house surrounded by a stunning chaniwa garden. The two of you then walked up to a stair which led to the second floor of the house, there you could see that the place has fewer rooms, but it is evidently the most used floor since this would probably be the place where the baby and your boss’s room was located.

The two of you then walked down to a door with a colorful out-of-place sign that said ‘Shinichiro’s Room’. Mister Kurokowa then opens the door, revealing an enormous room that is specifically made for a child. After he opened it, the two of you then heard a loud laughter of a baby, which quickly captured both of your attention. The two of you quickly walked up to the baby’s crib and saw him looking up at the two of you while playing with a small tiger toy. “Aw, your son is so cute Mr. Kurokawa,” you said as you looked at the baby, which is now confused as he focused his attention on you. “Please, call me Izana, Mister Kurokawa makes me feel old. "

You looked at him. “Really? But you look like you're in your late twenties, surely you can’t be much older than that,” you said to him, confused by his statement.

He looked at you for a moment but then let out a small titter. “Miss (L/N), I’m in my early forties, please don’t flatter me like this,” he said with a faint smile on his face. Your eyes winded, early forties? Holy hell, he looked so young!

“I-I meant it Mister- I mean Izana, you really looked younger compared to your actual age!” you exclaimed, bursting your words because of your nervousness. This caused your employer to giggle again before asking you to take a seat on the nearby chair to discuss your duties and responsibilities. The rules were simple really: take care of the child with great care, stimulate his mind and mobility as much as you can, feed him during a specific time period, and quickly change his diaper or clothes if there is even a small body fluid forming and most of all, don’t leave the penthouse without Izana coming back home.

“I assume that this would be simple for you, Miss (L/N)?” he asked, looking up at you.

“Got it, sir,” you said while puffing up your chest, assuring him that you can do this, but this caused Izana to let out an amused smile at your behavior.

Izana then looked at his wristwatch, “Oh, look at the time, it seems that I have work to do down in the building, Miss (L/N). If you need anything that is not available in this penthouse, just go down to the kitchen, and dial the landline phone and my assistant Kakucho will bring it to you,” he said, looking at his baby before he leaves.

After he left, you looked at the baby and smiled. To your surprise, the baby smiled back and even started giggling, which made your heart burst because of his cute behavior. You quickly lifted him up and cradled him to your chest. Although Shinichiro was surprised by your action, he instinctively processed the situation, like he recognized it as someone comforting him. He then let out a gummy smile and babbled at you. You smiled at him. It seems Shinichiro is not that of a fussy baby at all.

“Okay Shinichiro, let’s do some fun activities today, okay?” you said to the baby, the baby let out an excited gurgle as if he can understand your words. You giggled and looked at the clock that was in front of you - it seemed that it was his feeding time. “Okay, but let’s get you some milk first, okay?” you said as you walked towards the refrigerator in the room. The job is not that demanding, and the baby is really cute and not fussy. You just hope that your bad luck has disappeared because you are starting to love your job.

Weeks passed as you continued to be employed by Mr. Kurokawa, or Izana, as he insisted on being referred to. It is really fun and fulfilling to be employed in this job and you are really thankful for it, even though most of your interactions are with the baby or sometimes, Izana himself. But compared to your previous jobs - this one is a piece of cake. Shinichiro is not only unfussy but actually a really playful and active baby, which was a welcomed surprise when you found out about it a few days ago. As you continue to be employed, days have also flown by like it's nothing; before you could exactly recall how many days you have been employed and even remember what your lunch had been at that time, but now? You ertr too focused on caring for the baby to remember those redundant things.

Those memories have been replaced by your activity during your job like how many bottles of milk Shinichiro drink that day or how Shinichiro got up and took one step before he fall down the mattress, which you then quickly take a pic and report back to your boss, even though he didn’t ask for it. This job was really rewarding and at the same time hassle-free for you, it's almost like it's not a job, but a part of your lifestyle by now, which was rare for many people to have, and you are glad that after all of that string of bad luck, you’ve finally found a job that not only makes you employed but also gave you a sense of purpose in life as if this is destined for you.

“Okay Shinichiro, you can do it, come on,” you said to the baby as he warily looked at the floor. You have been encouraging Shinichiro to walk for more than a few steps. You want him to get used to walking and develop his mobility.

“Ehw ah-” you heard him grumble, not wanting to let go of the leg of the green plastic table.

“Shini~,” you playfully whined, wanting to encourage him. The baby looked up to you with a worried expression, still expressed on his face. You smiled in defeat as Shinichiro fell onto the padded floor and crawled towards you, wanting you to lift him up.

“I guess you’re not ready yet, huh?” you said as you cradle the child in your arms, who was burying his head into you, wanting to comfort himself. You smiled at his behavior. You know that someday, Shinichiro would be ready to finally walk a few steps, but not this day.

You sat on the nearby sofa and cradled Shinichiro to make him fall asleep and for you to clean up the place for the night. Just as you were about to place Shinichiro into his crib, you felt your phone then suddenly vibrate. You gently place Shinichiro in his crib and immediately took out your phone to see who was calling you, and as usual, its Mr. Kurokawa.

“Sorry sir for not answering the call quickly, I was just putting Shinichiro back to his crib,” you said to him, and you heard him let out a mirthful laugh.

“It's okay Miss (L/N), and also, did I always tell you that you can call me Izana? No need for that sir nonsense”

You blushed in embarrassment. “I’m sorry S- I mean Izana, I’m still not used to calling you so casually.”

You heard him on the other line letting out a hum, which made you very nervous. Although he was satisfied with your performance and conduct, you still couldn't shake off your nervousness because of your past experiences- your previous history still lingered in your consciousness like a faint shadow, as if reminding you of your past every time you’ve made even a simple mistake.

“Hmm, if you can’t get used to it, then can I call you (Y/N) instead? I think that it's unfair for me to call you Ms. (L/N) and me just Izana, and it could shake off that Mr. Kurokawa nonsense in your brain, so what do you say (Y/N), can I call you that?”

Your eyes widened but let out an okay for an answer.

“Great, (Y/N), sorry for calling you at this hour, I just wanted to check in on my son if he fell asleep already, looks like I was right.”

“I-is that all sir?” you asked, wanting to know if he wants to ask other questions related to Shinichiro, which you would gladly reply to.

“Ah no, I was also checking up on you, it's quite late and the last midnight train should be going a few minutes now.” Your eyes winded at his words and you looked at the time on your wristwatch. It's true, the midnight train would be in a few minutes and you are quite far away from the train station. “A-ah, I think I’ll just take a cab...” you replied, not wanting to agitate him due to your current situation.

“No can do (Y/N), there are fewer cabs this time of night and I don’t think that it's safe for you to travel alone during this time, I suggest that you stay at the penthouse guest rooms.”His offer shocked you. You, staying at this place for a night?

“A-are you sure Si- Izana? I do not want to cause you trouble,” you said, troubled at his generous offer.

“It's alright! You’ve been an excellent nanny for Shinichiro, he is much better now compared to before, he even whines to me when you are not in there,” he said mirthfully, praising you for your excellent work.

Shyly blushing at his declaration, you reluctantly agreed to his offer, not wanting to press things further. “I-if you say so, Mis- Izana.”

“Great, good night (Y/N) See you tomorrow.”

He then quickly hung up the call, and you turned off the phone, looking out the glass window of the room. Even though you have been working for Mr. Kurokawa for months now, you still couldn’t get used to it. Unlike before, you now have a job that not only pays you well but also had such a gracious boss that even lets you stay at his house. It's so contrasting compared to your previous jobs and employers, even though some of them are really nice bosses.

“Okay Shinichiro, I’m going to wash up now, be good okay?” you softly murmur as you look down at the baby in the crib. You always wonder who were the people that would care for Shinichiro while you’re gone. He has always been enthusiastic when you go back to your work, seemingly missing you while you were at home. “Oh god, I can’t leave him behind,” you thought as your mind started to fill with ideas about what is happening while you are gone, even though he is alright when you always see him in the morning, it doesn’t change you not knowing what is happening behind the scenes while you were gone made you nervous and even scared for Shinichiro.

You shook off your worries and quickly went to the nearest bathroom, which is in the nearby guest room, to wash up yourself. Thankfully, the bathroom had adult clothing and bathrobes. The clothes were tailored for men, which was alright for you since you only wore baggy clothes in your sleep anyway. You took off your black turtleneck shirt and high-waisted pants, revealing you in your plain gray underwear, and quickly took those off too and washed for the night. When you were done, you looked at the clothes on the bathroom cabinet, although there were clothes in there, you just now noticed that there was no underwear, not even for men. This made you flustered and looked at the washed bra and panty that you have taken off earlier. You can’t wear those, you need to wash them to be dry in the morning. You looked down and blushed at yourself as you put on the baggy t-shirt and short pants that were a tad big for you to fit in, but you managed to make it work as you exited the bathroom and the guest room and quickly entered Shinichiro’s room.

Thankfully, the baby was still sleeping, which means that you didn’t miss anything. You then sigh as you grab a few blankets and pillows and put them on the couch. You sat on the couch and looked at the time, it was almost two am in the morning, which means that you should really be sleeping by now. “Huh, I haven’t been up this late since college,” you thought as you put down your phone on the nearby coffee table and then lay on the couch. You then faced the couch’s cushion and bit by bit, your consciousness started to fade, which eventually puts you to sleep.

A few hours passed by, and you suddenly felt a strange tingling feeling running down your bottom, “Huh?” you mumbled as you felt a wet appendage trailing up to your soft cheeks and unto your clit, licking up a huge stripe. “W-what?” you thought groggily as you tried to look down to see if someone is touching you, but you couldn’t, as if you are paralyzed in your place. The now-identified tongue then started to twirl your clit around for a moment but then a pair of lips suddenly sucked it. “I- ah~ What’s happening?” you exclaimed as a feeling of pleasure then surged throughout your whole body. No, you can’t be feeling good about doing this, you need to get out of here with Shinichiro as fast as you can.

“Hyaa~!” you then mewled as you felt your ass and legs being lifted up by the person and finally tossed the short pants that were dangling on your foot earlier. You felt your assailant’s hot breath on your folds, which made you blush. You felt their fingers gripping your plush thighs as they then started to lick your folds. You wanted it to stop but you couldn’t do anything as the person licked and slurped your cunt as if they hadn't drank water for a long time. You can’t help but finally let out loud moans and mewls as they then finally put their tongue inside your vagina. You felt his hot tongue twirling and retracting it back and forth, fucking you with it. “Ah! Ah! St- Ah~” you moaned as you tried to get this person to stop and let go of you. They stopped, withdrawing their tongue, and finally diving out of your pussy, making you relieved at the moment. But that is proven short-lived as they then quickly shove two of their fingers, fucking you with them. As their fingers are reeling in and out of your pussy, you then hear familiar giggling, almost as if you knew who was doing this to you. The person then started to lap up your juices again, making you moan louder than before.

Right now, you are a mess of a person, both inside and out. Moaning and panting as you felt their tongue and fingers explore your wet, tight insides. You had masturbated on several occasions and felt good every time you did it but the pleasure that you got from touching yourself wasn’t comparable to this one. This made your cunt hot, wet, and tight all at the same time as foreign appendages roamed your wet caverns and sucked on your now sore clit. The heat pooling on your stomach starts to get unbearable as you feel yourself start to come. “Oh no, I’m gonna I-I’m gonna ahh~” you mewled as you felt yourself cumming onto the person’s face.

As you finally let out your cum, you just laid on the couch, panting, having no energy to move a single muscle as you felt the person lick and drink up your cum from your pussy and thighs. As you start to drift back to sleep, you felt the person crawling on top of you and whispering into your ear, feeling his hot breath on your skin.

“Sweet dreams, sugar.”

Your eyes widened as you recognized the voice. “M-Mr. Kurokawa?” you stuttered, not believing what you are hearing right now. You heard him hum and put his palm on your eyes, closing them gently. “Sleep (Y/N), you need energy for Shinichiro tomorrow,” he whispered, feeling his hot breath as he uttered those words. You slowly drifted into a mindless sleep, numbed by the orgasm you had earlier, feeling too tired to even open your eyes as you felt Izana gently cover you with a soft blanket and planted a kiss on your forehead.

You let out a loud gasp and got up from your sleep as you then looked out of the clear glass window of the room. You then tossed the blanket out of your body and then looked down at your bottom. Thankfully, you are still fully clothed down there, panties and all. You sighed in relief and checked out your phone - it’s eight in the morning, two hours before your shift. Slumping back down the mattress, you thought about your dreams earlier. You couldn’t help but blush in embarrassment as you recalled the wet dream that involved your boss eating you out while you sleep. You just can’t believe that you just dreamt about your boss that way. Sure, he was a very desirable man, not only for his physique and attractive face but also for his behavior towards his child Shinichiro. But you couldn’t see your boss in that light! Hell, you can’t even see him even jokingly flirting at you in a friendly way, much less him being so possessive over you.

You then sigh and rub your head. You have a job to do and you have an erotic dream that involved your boss is not going to be helpful. After rubbing your head, you then looked down on your lower half. Although you are sure that is just a dream, you can’t help but have a slight doubt about it because it was so vivid and felt too real. As if that dream of yours really happened. But you shook your head, surely, Mr. Kurokawa is not that type of person to do this. After all, he is so considerate and helpful whenever something has happened during your time at work and he even apologizes and pays you overtime time even though you just stayed more than an hour or so in your shift. Him assaulting you in your sleep is such an absurd thought that it's almost laughable, Mr. Kurokawa is anything but that kind of person.

But you can’t help thinking, what if it's true? That he did just that while you are so vulnerable? You couldn’t help but shiver at that thought alone. He was such a kind and considerate person to you, and it's so horrifying to think that he would do such things to you. You shook your head in disgust, no, why would he do that to you? With only just his physique, he could attract many women who would willingly sleep with him, even if for just a few hours. Him doing something to you, especially eating you out is such a wild thought.

While you are deep in your thoughts, Shinichiro let out a loud wail, which snapped you out of your thoughts. You looked at him blankly for a moment before slapping yourself out of it. That’s right- you were only here because you have a job to do, which is taking care of Shinichiro. You shake your head and sigh and quickly get up and walk to his crib. When Shinichiro saw you, he let out his adorable gummy smile, which melted away your dilemma earlier. Smiling, you gently grab Shinichiro and carry him. Mr. Kurokawa would never assault you while you were sleeping - after all, how can a person like that produce such a cute and adorable baby?

It’s been a few weeks after the wet dream incident, but you still couldn’t shake it off your mind. Although you still do your job earnestly, it also affects your relationship with your boss. You really can’t help but to either freeze or flinch, every time he comes near you the flashes of that dream start to come into your mind like a tidal wave- of you being vulnerable under him, struggling to get him off you as you felt his tongue slithering inside your walls while massaging your clit, getting turned on by your whines and pleads. Which doesn’t help your amiable relationship with your boss as you unconsciously try to avoid him as much as possible while at work, which is not that hard considering he always came back after your shift is done.

You really tried your best not to be avoidant of your boss, you really did. But you really can’t help but feel uncomfortable and even scared every time he either touches you or gets close to you. You always triedto rationalize it by thinking that he’s your boss and you are afraid that he is going to fire you anytime soon or any other excuses that you might think. But deep down - deep down, you know that it's because of that realistic dream you had, and deep inside, you are afraid that it might be true that Mr.Kurokawa had assaulted you while you slept that night.

As you were tucking Shinichiro in for the night, you suddenly heard the door open. Looking back, you saw Mr.Kurokawa, who was wearing a dress-like black jumpsuit with silver necklaces and a loose belt. Although he looked so casual, you had a feeling that it's probably not - maybe he’s going out with his friends?

“O-oh, Mr.Kurokawa! I was just tucking Shinichiro in, I’ll be gone in a minute now.” you said as you tried not to look away from him.

Your boss just smiled at you. “No worries Ms.(Y/N)! I was just checking up on my son!” he said in his usual carefree tone that he had. Although you doubted that, you just nodded and continued to tuck the baby into the crib as your boss eerily watched you from behind. When you are finally done, you look back at Mr.Kurokawa and apologize for how late you’ve stayed, and quickly try to get home. But before you do that, Mr.Kurokawa stopped you and handed you some sort of card in your hand. Not wanting to displease him, you took it and looked at what it was. The curiosity turned into shock when you saw the content.

M-Mr. Kuroawa! I can’t take this!” You said as you tried to give the card back to your boss, which shook his head, refusing to take it back.

“You’ve worked for more than eight months in my house with no breaks every day, you deserve this,” he said as you look at him in disbelief. After all, the card that he gave to you is practically a meal pass to one of the most exclusive and expensive restaurants in Tokyo, maybe even in the whole world.

“Sir, I think that this is too much,” you said, trying to reason with your boss, but he just shook his head- insisting that you keep it. You tried to banter with your boss, trying to get the card back to him but he swiftly turned down your proposals and reasonings, and kept insisting that you keep it. In the end, you accepted the card reluctantly and thank your boss in embarrassment, after that you then say goodbye to him and head out of the penthouse and eventually the building.

While walking down the streets of Minato, you looked at the card in both fascination and curiosity. It's an exclusive meal pass for Midori. One of the most exclusive restaurants in Tokyo, it's one of the few three-star Michelin restaurants in Tokyo but unlike the other restaurants, Midori operates for only three months in certain seasons, which makes it difficult for people to dine in or book a reservation for the restaurant. You even heard that the yearly customers of Midori could be counted with your fingers - which means that your boss gave you a card that can basically give you an instant pass to enter and eat for free in Midori just because you didn’t take your vacation leave for more than eight months. Which frankly to you is both very generous and simply ridiculous. You know that many rich people in Tokyo would give you a large sum of money just to get this card and some might even blackmail you for it. You sigh in frustration as you feel a headache building up in your head as you keep thinking about what you are going to do with the card.

Sell it?

No, people might think that it's a fake.

Throw it away?

You know that the guilt would eat at you for a very long time.

You kept thinking about what you were going to do about it until you completely gave up on thinking about it. “Fuck it, I’m just going to redeem this, this is a once-in-a-lifetime experience,” you thought as you clutched the card and took out your phone- googling the location of Midori on google maps and quickly heading off to where it is. When you finally arrived at the building where the restaurant was located, you couldn’t help but feel nervous as the two doormen, who strangely recognized you, quickly welcomed you into the restaurant as if you were a very important person. When you enter the restaurant, one of the waiters quickly walks up to you and asks if you have a reservation - to which you silently reply by giving them the card that Mr.Kurokawa gave to you. The waiter just smiled and gently took the card from your hand, as if they were worried that they might offend you. But you just shook your head, you are just overthinking things since this is your first time in an exclusive Michelin star restaurant, the nerves are maybe getting into you.

When the waiter grabbed the card, another waiter popped up and guided you inside the restaurant. You followed the waiter to your seat, as you subtly looked around the restaurant. As expected it looked classy and fancy. The restaurant itself has a mix of modern and traditional Japanese architecture, although it is located in the middle of Tokyo, the restaurant has a ginormous Tsukiyama garden that can be seen in the whole restaurant, giving the restaurant a much more traditional touch.

When you are finally seated by the waiter, You couldn’t help but feel awkward at the situation as you are the only one in the whole restaurant as there are practically no people in sight. You tried to find a positive outlook in the situation that you are in, hey, at least there are no snobby people that would judge you, right?

As you tried to assess your situation, the server quickly came back and gave you the tasting menu of the restaurant and explained some of the dishes that are written there, which made you nervous since you only knew a few of the items in the restaurant. You just decided to pick the strangest named dishes on the menu, hoping that the dishes that you’ve picked would taste good. The server then jolts down your order as you put the menu on the table. When they are done they cautiously take away the menu and then bowed, saying that your complimentary appetizer would be on its way.

The eighteen-meal course came one by one as you started to eat, some are familiar dishes presented to you such as sushi and sashimi that you know came from expensive cuts of fish while others are western inspired dishes that you couldn’t figure out how to eat but just decided to wing it and eat it anyway. As expected, the dishes are fantastic, and sure, most of them could be eaten in just one bite but the whole course will make you full since the meal was an eighteen-meal course and not just the usual one dish or two that you usually buy when going out. While eating, there was something bothering you at the moment. There were no problems with the dishes since they were all fantastic and the servers were very professional, but there was an eerie feeling while you're eating in the restaurant, as if the servers were afraid of making a mistake or offending you in some way. You tried to comfort yourself by saying that it's just the nervousness of not only dining in a fancy restaurant but also being the only customer dining there but your gut says otherwise, as if something is going on.

But still, you silently ate the dishes that the server explained before serving them to you, just wanting to enjoy the rare experience while ignoring the nagging feeling in your gut. When you finally ate the last dish, two servers appeared in front of you, one cleaning out the dirty utensils on the table while the other poured you a glass of wine. The server who poured you the wine explained what wine it is and how old or what kind of fragrant and texture it has. Apparently, it's a 1968 Bruno Giacosa Collina Rionda wine from Italy, one of the finest wines that they have on their shelves right now.

When the server places the wine glass on the table, you then hold the stem of the glass and curiously sniff the wine, before taking a sip. But before you can finish the whole glass, you start to get dizzy - your vision blurring and you trying to hold on to the table, afraid of falling into the floor. But it's no use as your body slumps down on the ground, causing the half-sipped wine glass to break and it's content to spill into the ground.

As your vision darkened, you saw two men, who were in suits walking toward your form, “Hurry up Rin, the boss would be angry if we took too much time,” you heard one of the men say while the other just hummed in response. You felt yourself being carried by one of them, you aren’t sure who is carrying you since you are barely strong enough to see. As you start to fall unconscious you hear a familiar person that made your blood freeze in fear.

“Be careful with her, Izana wouldn’t want her to be injured.”

“K-Kakucho?” That name was in your final thoughts as you slipped out of consciousness, not strong enough to fight it any longer.

Your eyes opened slowly as you woke up with your head aching, and although you were awake, you still couldn’t really feel anything around you due to you being drugged earlier. As you started to get a grip of your consciousness, you couldn’t help but be shocked when you finally saw what was going on.

“M-mister Kurokawa?” You looked up at him, grunting and moaning as you felt your cunt being penetrated by his dick, you can’t help but moan as he keeps pounding your pussy into oblivion. “Ah, (Y/N) you’re awake,” he said as he continued slamming his long dick into your tight walls, rhythmically keeping up his pace as your confused face contorted into pleasure. Although it felt pleasurable by his actions, you can’t help but feel betrayed and hurt as the person that you’ve looked up to did this to you. You should’ve listened to your guts and kept your distance from him as much as possible or even outright quit the job even if you struggled to find one.

Tears rolled down your cheeks as you kept thinking about maybe’s or what-ifs, as his cock kept stretching your wet but tight pussy. “Princess, don’t cry, I’m here to make it better,” you heard him say as he wiped away your tears and kissed your lips, entering his tongue into your mouth as his pace feverishly started to get faster. While his tongue swirled with yours inside your mouth, twirling your tongue with his, you suddenly felt a sudden jolt down there- it seems that his dick hit a specific place that you couldn’t help but moan in pleasure.

When he heard your loud but unwilling moan, he stopped his movement and ended the kiss, which made you confused at first until he started to take his dick off of you until its tip is the only thing inside. He then quickly buckled his hips and slammed his cock into your pussy all the way into its hilt. You couldn’t help but loudly moan as you felt him pounding you like an animal, his dick continuously hitting that spot. “Sh-shtop-” you slurred as you felt his dick getting bigger inside you. But he ignored your pleas as he quickly slammed his dick back into your pussy, making you flinch in pleasure while shutting you up in the process.

“Ah~ (Y/N) your pussy is clenching my dick so hard,” he moaned as you felt his dick start to twitch while also feeling the heat and pleasure bubbling up inside you.

“S-top, please Mr.Kurokawa-”

You were cut off by your boss as his sharp gaze looked at you, and although his lilac eyes are soft, you couldn’t help but see another expression in his eyes.

“Don’t call me that, call me Izana,” he said as he kept his eyes locked on yours. If this wasn’t an unwanted situation, you ought that this would have been very romantic, but right now - it's the opposite of that.

“M-Mr, Haaah~” you moaned, not even saying his name as he pinched your sensitive clit.

“No, Mr.nonsense, just call me by my name,” he said, as you desperately looked up at him, wanting this to end.

“I-Izana, s-s-top, I’m gonna -”

You saw him smile knowingly as he kept pounding in and out of your cunt.

“Gonna what princess?” he teased.

You can’t help but cry in pleasure as you felt yourself cumming all over his dick as you clench his back for support, your eyes rolling back in pleasure. After your orgasm, you felt him start to quicken his pace, continuing that feverish phase from before. With a few strong and quick thrusts, he unloads his cum inside your tight walls, moaning in pleasure as your pussy milked his dick for all its worth while you lay there panting; your naked form twitching and convulsing in overstimulation due to the climax earlier.

As he finished cumming inside you and pulling his dick out of your insides, you then looked up to him, tears rolling down your eyes.

“P-please, l-let me go,” you said as you fruitlessly tried to get away from him. When he saw you trying to move away, he quickly grabbed both of your thighs and spread them, making your pussy, which was still twitching while oozing with his semen, visible to his view.

“Look at you, after you milked my dick, your pussy still wants my cock so bad,” he said as he used his finger to push the semen back inside your cunt, making your toes curl due to your body being sensitive.

“I- please Izana, I won’t tell anyone about this” you plead, wanting your boss to let you go. He stops as you look at his expression, his expression now turned dour by your words. “Or what (Y/N)? You will quit and go back fruitlessly trying to find a job?” your eyes widened in shock at his words. He let his finger out of your walls but kept his hands on your knees, still spreading your legs apart.

“H-how did you know that?” you stuttered as he kept his gaze at your naked form, smiling at your question.

“I run background checks on all of my employees (Y/N), especially for the one that would be taking care of my child,” he replied as you looked down in shame.

He continued. “Do you want to go back to that lifestyle (Y/N)? On the verge of being homeless with no one to turn on or help you?” You tearfully looked away, feeling your heart clench, it's true, all of his words are true. Izana saw your forlorn expression and gently touched your cheeks making you look up at him again. “It doesn’t have to be that way (Y/N), you have Shinichiro and me, you don’t have to be lonely anymore,” he said as he gently hugged you. You couldn't help but start sobbing on his chiseled chest. “There, there,” you heard him mumble as he caressed your back trying to soothe you.

The two of you stayed there for a while until you felt his dick harden inside of you again. “(Y/N),” you looked up to Izana who was smiling at you. “Can I?” he asked as you felt his dick twitching inside your pussy. Without a care in the world, you nodded and then spread your cum filled pussy with both of your hands, worldlessly coercing him. As he starts to move again, he smiled and look at you.

“I love you, (Y/N), I really do.”

Your dull eyes looked at him, not minding the situation anymore. Smiling, you hugged his neck and gently kissed his lips. “I love you too Izana,” you replied earnestly. As you felt his hips start to move again, you can’t help but feel nothing anymore. He’s right, there is nothing for you out there, no family, friends and barely finding a job, who is the person that took you in? That’s right, It's Miste- no, Izana. He’s the one that gave you every opportunity that you desperately needed and on top of that, Shinichiro gave you purpose again, he would be lonely without you.

With that in mind, you tightened your grip as Izana bucked his hips down on you, pounding you into the mattress as your pussy started to clench tightly around his dick. It’s alright, as long as you have Izana and Shinichiro, it doesn’t bother you anymore.

You finally have people that would be with you.

You are not alone anymore.

As you slip into pleasure once more, you couldn’t help but feel like something broke inside of you- no matter what it was, it's just a minor inconvenience anyway.

4K notes · View notes

sweetlittlegingy · 2 years

Text

Epiphany

✦ Next Chapter | Better Man Universe

✦Pairing: Father Figure Jake x Single!Mother

✦Word Count: 1.7k

✦Warnings: Fluffy Jake, past relationship breakup, slight mention of Smut (18+ Content), protective Bradley

✦A/n: This was a fun one! I'm excited that we are seeing more of their relationship dynamics and how they became a couple. I also love big brother Bradley!!

✦Library (Follow for updates! I no longer have a taglist.)

Sitting back on your heels, you can’t help but hold some resentment for your new job. You had just transferred back to the North Island from Jacksonville, you’d wanted to be closer to family and when a job at Top Gun opened up you jumped on the opportunity.

While almost everyone assumed that your last name got you your current position, that couldn’t be farther from the truth. As the youngest Benjamin, a surprise baby fifteen years younger than your sister Penny, you had always been a daddy’s girl. Long before you had chosen to become an Administrate Service Manager to the current admiral, you had planned on following in the Benjamin footsteps and becoming a fighter pilot.

Though when you got pregnant just after the academy, your plans drastically changed. The move to Jacksonville was rushed and “planned” just so you could get as far away from your shattered dreams. So, when your application for a civilian position down in Jacksonville, was accepted, you couldn’t have been happier to make the move. Your ex wasn’t the happiest, only agreeing because of the pay increase your new job promised, but you were confident in the beginning of your new life.

You moved up the ranks quickly and loved your Navel family in Florida. Finding that even though you couldn’t fly, you could find other ways to focus on your love for planes.

Though when your relationship failed and Adam no longer wanted anything to do with Mathew, you knew that living close to family was what you both needed.

Deciding to move back after a 2 years was difficult, you were leaving the life that you built. Though the idea of getting as far away from Adam was a positive.

Plus, Bradley had moved back to Top Gun in the past year, and you couldn’t wait to see him, you both grew up together and he fell into the big brother position easily. Growing up you two were attached to each other’s hip, and he absolutely adored Maty. He was never a fan of your ex and when you moved he was even less pleased, but he still supported you and was only a call away.

Penny was ecstatic that you were moving back, and being the ever the doting auntie, offering to babysit Mathew until you could find a sitter, knowing that the new job would need your undivided attention.

Which lead to your current predicament, it was your first week on the job and you were already unbelievably frustrated. The last individual that held your job position, had no organizational skills, and hadn’t completed half the needed paperwork for Top Gun.

Landed you here, on the ground, working through your lunch, surrounded by paperwork that needed sorted. Cyclone had been clear that he wanted everything sorted before next week, and while Warlock told you not to worry, you couldn’t help but to be stressed out.

You hadn’t heard him approach over the sound of your spotify on shuffle, though the subtle cough pulled you from your work immediately. Standing in your doorway, looming over your seated figure, your eyes raked over the form of a pilot.

Decked in his flight suit, with perfect blonde hair and deep green eyes. A shade of green that looked eerily similar to Mathews, a shade that would be hard not to get lost in. You loved the color of your baby’s eye, you had no idea where he got them from, yet here stood a random man. With eyes that matched.

You tried to be sublet, but his physic was on clear display, and you hadn’t seen someone as handsome as him, since your obsession with the Jonas Brothers in middle school. He looked like he been running drills all morning, already sweating in the heat of the day. The white t-shirt under his flight suit, was near translucent and clung to him like a second skin.

The obnoxious though about what else lay underneath that flight suit rattled through your brain, but you were quick to push it away. You were in no way ready to date again, and Maty, well he was your number one priority. You wouldn’t put him through a situation like that again, which meant, at least for now, no hot pilots.

“Eyes up here darlin’”

Raising your eyes, you’re met with a cocky smirk. Clearly, he didn’t lack self-confidence and might need a slight ego check, but you weren’t the type to feel bad about appreciating the male form.

You meet his gaze, giving him a ‘what do you want look’ before going back to sorting papers.

Jake knew that he was handsome and though he had caught you staring, he was confused at how fast you went back to work, especially with him still in the room. Usually he couldn’t get women to stop talking to him. Giving them that signature smirk and they were on there knees, literally.

Yet here you were, completely brushing him off. He couldn’t deny that you were gorgeous and when he heard about a new girl in the admiral’s office, he couldn’t help himself and had to come over. You definitely didn’t disappoint with your looks; you were someone that he would have loved to have under him on a number of different occasions.

But yet, here you were completely ignoring him.

“I’m looking for Admiral Simpson.” You return your gaze to him, and hold it. Appearing completely unfazed. “Got any idea where his is, darlin’?”

Jake could see the light blush that covered your cheeks every time he called you darlin’ and couldn’t resist. You tried to remain just passive enough that he would leave, but wouldn’t consider you a bitch.

“Lunch”

The single word: the only damn thing that you had said to him, and Jake felt like you had knocked him upside the head. Your soft voice, that he wanted to describe as sweet as honey, was like music to his ears.

He wanted to hear you every day, in every damn way. He couldn’t deny that he wanted to know how you would sound moaning out his name. He was positive that you would be a strung-out whimpering mess for him, and just so damn pretty begging for him.

But the feeling of wanting to hear that voice in the morning, and how he was positive that you had the most beautiful smile. Those feelings were new, Jake Seresin didn’t do relationships.

It’s not like he was a man whore, no he had a great respect for woman, he just didn’t know how he felt about relationships.

His parents were no longer together, his dad had been a complete asshole, and was happy when his mother decided to leave him. Plus, he loved his job, he was positive that flying was the love of his life, and he didn’t have time for relationships.

Though you, with just one word, had somehow got him to think about the possibility of a relationship.

Oh, you would be the death of him.

Though before he could make another move, a hand clasped onto his shoulder spinning him around.

You didn’t miss the second set of feet this time and as you saw the Lt. get spun around you caught sight of the familiar mustache.

“What are you doing down here, Bagman?” the harsh tone of Rooster didn’t go unnoticed by Jake. The death glare that Rooster was giving him didn’t either, though he had no idea why. As far as Jake knew, Rooster didn’t have a girl, so what type of claim did he have over you.

“He was just looking for Cyclone, B.”

Jake whip back around to face you, so fast that he almost hit Rooster. His eyes went straight to you, though your eyes were already looking past him at Rooster.

Jake was lost now. You called Rooster B, with such affection behind your tone, that could only mean the both of you were close.

Looking back between the both of you and the teasing smile on each of your lips, Jake couldn’t stop the small pang that went through his chest.

Maybe you were Roosters girl, and he just didn’t talk about you? Or maybe you were just good friends, and he still had a chance… Jake didn’t know but he would find out.

Rooster stepped past Jake, coming to crouch down by your side looking over the different paperwork.

“God, they really threw you to the wolves, didn’t they?”

Silently nodding your head, you quickly grabbed the paperwork back from Bradley.

“I’ve got a system and you’re both” your eyes quickly went between the two pilots, “messing it up.”

Rooster gave a humorous laugh, and moved to stand back up. He looked back up at Jake whose eyes were already trained on you. A sense of cautionary optimism could be seen, and Rooster knew that he would be having a talk with Hangman.

“I just came by to tell you that we’re having dinner together tonight, Pen called and asked if I could drive you.”

You had yet to buy a car and had relied on Penny and Bradley to drive you around the past week. A slight inconvenience, though neither of them ever complained. They were just happy to have you and Maty back home.

“Yeah, that sounds good. I should be done around 5 or so.”

You gave him a quick smile, glancing to the other pilot, though Bradley had called him Bagman you knew that wasn’t his name, then back to your paperwork. If you wanted to get out by 5, you needed to focus. Meaning not staring at pilots, no matter how hot they are.

Bradley moved to leave you, knowing that you were trying to concentrate and didn’t want to piss you off. He had been on the receiving end of your anger once, and that was more than enough for him.

He moved past Jake giving him a silent look that said move your ass. Jake wasn’t one to follow orders from Rooster, though he wanted to ask him who you were, so he followed out. Looking back one last time to see your sitting form, completely focused and unfazed. He knew then, that whatever Rooster told him about you wouldn’t matter.

He wanted you,

And what Jake “Hangman” Seresin wanted, he got.

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rabbiteclair · 2 years

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okay at my old job there was actually one more layer to it, which was: the age distribution for developers was incredibly topheavy, because in the 70s and 80s they'd been desperate for people so it was very "have you seen a computer before? congratulations, you're hired, your job title is Senior Programmer/Analyst." about 3/4 of these people turned out to have no actual programming ability and no real knack for picking it up.

but, the ones who stuck around were still involved with dozens of projects over the years, so by the 2010s, their networks of interpersonal relationships were basically the actual way that most vital communication happened, and since they'd been around for ages they were the only ones who knew who to talk to when some system nobody had touched in a decade suddenly broke. lots of "oh, I don't know how to access that application, and I'm not sure what it does, but according to an email I have from 2002, we're supposed to email this DBA in Arizona if it goes down." and eventually, after about four days of chasing down these archaeological leads, the issue gets solved somehow.

so like. that was basically their job. they spent about twenty hours a week in meetings and the other half talking about golf and/or listening to streaming talk radio. I think at one point I was on an entire team of people with 'developer' kinda job titles where nobody but me had written a single line of code in years.

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noaestheticacademic · 2 months

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Linear Progress

I want to take a minute to reflect on what my path through academia has been, where I am now, and where I want to go.

I got good grades in high school, did my extracurriculars, scraped through to graduation despite missing a lot of school due to ED/depression.

I got accepted to a really prestigious college, which I had to drop out of before the end of my first semester due to ED/mental health issues.

Still believed I wanted to go to college, applied to colleges closer to home where my support network was. Screwed up my application and wasn't considered anywhere.

Took a single class at a nearby university to prove to myself I was still capable of learning.

Went to a nearby college half-time that happened to have a really strong program for my major. Fell in love with the college, applied, and got in.

I had a great time in undergrad! Worked to support myself, got all As, studied abroad but got sent home during COVID, graduated with a 100-page honors thesis under my belt.

Took a year off to take the GRE and apply to PhD programs. 9 total. Did great on the GRE because I'm a good test taker.

Rejected everywhere I applied. Managed to talk to the department of one university and finagled myself into their master's program for the coming fall.

Finished my master's in 3 semesters with a 4.0 while working to pay for school and rent, in a city where rent alone was over 60% of my income.

I could have applied for a PhD at that school during my first semester, but my adviser told me to hold off a year and use that extra experience to qualify myself for more prestigious PhD programs, since I want to be a professor.

I followed the advice, finished my master's, applied to PhD programs again. 7 total.

Rejected everywhere. Wait listed at my masters institution and waiting to hear back. Looking for research positions in the meantime so I can boost my resume and get myself out of the soul-crushing job I'm working now.

I still want to keep trying to get into a PhD program. All I want to do is spend my life researching and teaching what I am passionate about, within a community of like-minded people.

I'm still sitting with the grief of not having my next 5 years secured via a PhD program admission - not knowing where I'll live, where my health insurance will come from, where my paychecks will come from, or how I can improve my candidacy from here.

None of this can go in a PhD application essay. They don't care if my therapist told me I can persevere. I feel like it should matter at least a little bit, though.

#studyblr #gradblr #vent #tw ed

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beardedmrbean · 3 months

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Canada has long been a draw for people from India's Punjab province seeking new opportunities elsewhere. But has the Canadian dream soured?

It's hard to miss the ardour of Punjab's migrant ambitions when driving through its fertile rural plains.

Billboards promising easy immigration to Canada, Australia, New Zealand and the UK jut out through ample mustard fields.

Off the highways, consultancies offer English language coaching to eager youth.

Single-storey brick homes double up as canvasses for hand-painted mural advertisements promising quick visas. And in the town of Bathinda, hundreds of agents jostle for space on a single narrow street, pledging to speed up the youth's runaway dreams.

For over a century, this province in India's northwest has seen waves of overseas migration; from the Sikh soldiers inducted into the British Indian Army travelling to Canada, through to rural Punjabis settling in England post-independence.

But some, especially from Canada, are now choosing to come back home.

One of those is 28-year-old Balkar, who returned in early 2023 after just one year in Toronto. Citizenship was his ultimate goal when he left his little hamlet of Pitho in the wake of the Covid-19 pandemic. His family mortgaged their land to fund his education.

But his Canadian dream quickly lost its allure a few months into his life there.

"Everything was so expensive. I had to work 50 hours every week after college, just to survive," he told the BBC. "High inflation is making many students leave their studies."

Balkar now runs an embroidery business from a small room on one side of the expansive central courtyard in his typical Punjabi home. He also helps on his family's farm to supplement his income.

Opportunities for employment are few and far between in these rural areas, but technology has allowed entrepreneurs like him to conquer the tyranny of distance. Balkar gets the bulk of his business through Instagram.

"I have a good life here. Why should I face hardships there when I can live at home and make good money?" he asks.

The BBC spoke to at least half a dozen reverse migrants in Punjab who shared similar sentiments.

It was also a common refrain in the scores of videos on YouTube shared by Indians who had chosen to abandon their life in Canada and return home. There was a stark difference one young returnee told the BBC between the "rosy picture" immigration agents painted and the rough reality of immigrant life in Toronto and Vancouver.

The "Canada craze" has let up a bit - and especially so among well-off migrants who have a fallback option at home, says Raj Karan Brar, an immigration agent in Bathinda who helps hundreds of Punjabis get permanent residencies and student visas every year.

The desire for a Canadian citizenship remains as strong as ever though among middle- and lower middle-class clients in rural communities.

But viral YouTube videos of students talking about the difficulty in finding jobs and protests over a lack of housing and work opportunities has created an air of nervousness among these students, say immigration agents.

There was a 40% decline in applications from India for Canadian study permits in the second half of 2023, according to one estimate. This was, in part, also due to the ongoing diplomatic tensions between India and Canada over allegations Indian agents were involved in the murder of Canadian Sikh separatist leader Hardeep Singh Nijjar.

There are also hints of deeper cultural factors at play, for a waning Canadian dream among an older generation of Indian migrants.

Karan Aulakh, who spent nearly 15 years in Edmonton and achieved career and financial success, left his managerial job for a comfortable rural life in Khane ki Daab, the village where he was born in 1985. He told the BBC he was upset by LGBT-inclusive education policies in Canada and its 2018 decision to legalise recreational cannabis. Incompatibility with the Western way of life, a struggling healthcare system, and better economic prospects in India were, he said, key reasons why many older Canadian Indians are preparing to leave the country.

"I started an online consultancy - Back to the Motherland - a month and a half ago, to help those who want to reverse migrate. I get at least two to three calls every day, mostly from people in Canada who want to know what job opportunities there are in Punjab and how they can come back," said Mr Aulakh.

For a country that places such a high value on immigration, these trends are "concerning" and are "being received with a bit of a sting politically", says Daniel Bernhard of the Institute of Canadian Citizenship, an immigration advocacy group.

A liberalised immigration regime has been Prime Minister Justin Trudeau's signature policy to counter slowing economic growth and a rapidly aging population.

According to Canada's statistics agency, immigration accounted for 90% of Canada's labour force growth and 75% of population growth in 2021.

International students contribute to over C$20bn ($14.7bn; £11.7bn) to Canada's economy each year, a bulk of them Indians who now make up one in five recent immigrants to the country.

India was also Canada's leading source for immigration in 2022.

The numbers of those leaving are still small in absolute terms with immigration levels at all-time highs in Canada - the country welcomed nearly half a million new migrants each year over the past few years.

But the rate of reverse migration hit a two decade high in 2019, signalling that migrants were "losing confidence" in the country said Mr Bernhard.

Country specific statistics for such emigrants, or reverse migrants, are not available.

But official data obtained by Reuters shows between 80,000 and 90,000 immigrants left Canada in 2021 and 2022 and either went back to their countries, or onward elsewhere.

Some 42,000 people departed in the first half of 2023.

Fewer permanent residents are also going on to become Canadian citizens, according to census data cited by the Institute for Canadian Citizenship. In 2001, 75% of those eligible became citizens. Two decades later, it was 45%.

Canada needs to "restore the value of its citizenship," said Mr Bernhard.

It comes as Canada debates its aggressive immigration targets given country's struggle to absorb more people.

A recent report from National Bank of Canada economists cautioned that the population growth was putting pressure on its already tight housing supply and strained healthcare system.

Canada has seen a population surge - an increase of 1.2 million people in 2023 - driven mostly by newcomers.

The report argued that growth needed to be slowed to an annual increase of up to 500,000 people in order to preserve or increase the standard of living.

There appears to have been a tacit acceptance of this evaluation by policymakers.

Mr Trudeau's Liberal government recently introduced a cap on international student permits that would result in a temporary decrease of 35% in approved study visas.

It's a significant policy shift that some believe may end up further reducing Canada's appeal amid a wave of reverse migrations.

#nunyas news

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aitavoting · 1 year

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AITA for asking for a potential ride to my potential job?

So I (23f) and my mother (63f) have been butting heads about this for the last month. I have been looking for jobs since my seasonal position at a certain red and white craft store ended in december with no luck whatsoever. Since I don't have a car or license yet I've been having to limit my search to within 15 minutes of my house at the maximum so that my mother doesn't flip her lid about having to take me to work (which she does anyways but thats mostly because I can't get a job where she wants me to since they have a thing about family members working in the same building). But a couple weeks ago a certain interactive art exhibit company decided to put one of their exhibits at a mall i liked to go on dates, and since they aren't open yet i decided to apply as they were paying a pretty good wage, offered benefits and i would fit right in.

The only problem is that it's a half hour away without traffic. When i told my mother, she in semi-different words which still got the point across said that i was being an abusive, entitled asshole for applying and wanting to ask her and my sister (33f) to drive me to work on their days off and even said that if i want to work there i had better find my own place close enough to it. Except she drives that long to got to work herself and my sister drives almost that long every other day to take my niece to her extra curricular activities.

I tried to explain that she and my sister would only be driving me until i can drive myself but she never lets me get that far before exploding on me (as she does with any argument we have ever) and making baseless accusations about how the only place that has responded to my application out of the almost 100 I've put in, is the one I'm actually interested in and how suspicious it is, as well as implying that im just not trying hard enough to get a job or just don't want to get a job (instead of being screwed over by companies that only say they're hiring to keep up appearances while functioning on a skeleton crew) while i try not to lose my own head (I'll admit we are both a bit hotheaded) and explain to her that while shes been working in the exact same company in the exact same field and almost the exact same job for the last 25 years, the job market everywhere else has changed a lot especially during the recent pandemic and that it would be smarter for me to try to get this job at a place that pays well (almost as good as my sisters job pays), has benefits and is hiring an entire staff as its not open yet, and where i will get to work with a lot of like-minded people despite the half hour commute and the fact that she doesn't think it's "practical" or a "grown-up job" than it would be to not and continue applying to places with a more convenient commute but pay crap in comparison, offer very few to no benefits, has very few like-minded people to myself, are (i guess in her mind) "practical" and "grown up" and haven't even bothered to acknowledge that i have sent in multiple applications.

It got to the point that while she tried to use the multiple jobs she had in the past that she hated to invalidate my feelings about wanting to work somewhere different to my last three jobs because i hated them and got treated like crap by coworkers and customers alike, that i said that i was sorry but I didn't give a single solitary shit about the fact that she made herself miserable working in places she hated because they were convenient and they were paying money but since I haven't gotten a single response from anywhere else that is convenient that it would be a dumbass decision to not try to get this job.

[this story was submitted by @wildfire317]

Feel free to make your opinion be heard in the comments/reblogs but keep it respectful. For detailed information please read the guidelines for commenting. Violations will lead to your comment being deleted and you potentially being blocked.

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rae-gar-targaryen · 2 years

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Lil personal post ahead, but I just wanted to share --

My journey through the law hasn't been an easy one. In undergrad, I met with a professor I didn't know because he was the "pre-law advisor" at my school to ask him what I needed to do to get ready for a career in the law. How to study for the LSAT. How to pick a law school.

This guy, who didn't know me at all, judged me quickly. He told me that he thought I wouldn't get into a law school. And that if "by some miracle" I was admitted, I wouldn't survive the first year. And that i wouldn’t make it to graduation. I have no idea why he thought that of me. It was horrible to hear something like that before you have even gone out into the world to make a career for yourself. But nevertheless, I tried. I left that meeting in tears, but mostly pissed off that some man thought he could discourage me from achieving something I wanted for myself.

I took the LSAT twice, because I did poorly the first time. I was scared of the test and didn’t give it the attention it deserved. But when I did it the second time, with a little more bravery, time, and attention, I did INCREDIBLY well.

I didn’t think I would get accepted anywhere, really. That little voice of doubt that we all have sometimes that tells us we aren’t as good as the others in the room was really loud. But I put my best foot forward. I labored over my personal statement for months before submitting my applications. I applied to literally a dozen law schools around the country, unsure of who would take me, or where I wanted to land.

I got in to ALL TWELVE SCHOOLS. (obviously, when I e-mailed my professors who wrote recommendation letters for me to tell them this news, I cc’d the professor who told me I would never succeed.)

My first year was a nightmare -- everything is on a curve and you only have one exam for the entire semester that dictates your grade for that class. I struggled to feel like I was staying afloat. I didn’t want to lose my scholarship (I almost did.) I thought about quitting -- A LOT. I would call my mom in tears and ask her if she thought I was doing the right thing. Was I good enough? Was I smart enough? Was I brave enough? And by the time I graduated, the Bar exam loomed large.

The first time I took the bar exam upon graduating, I failed. Big fucking time. It was fucking crushing. To fail after studying for smoething, not only for the three years in school, but also for dedicated months of study leading up to the exam. To be told by your state that you aren’t fit to practice. To fail, while every single one of my friends passed. It was hard -- in my brain, it created a sense of inequity between myself and the people I cared about. I thought they would think I was dumber for it. Not as good. Not worthy of being their friend or their colleague.

Because when we were in law school, no one talked to us about failure. Everyone talked about how to get ready for the Bar exam. How to make sure you’re exercising, eating well, take this prep course, you’ll be fine -- but the truth of the matter is is that in California, more than half of the thousands of people who sit for this exam fail it. (Literally, the pass rate hardly ever breaks 50% on any given exam).

And I fucking failed.

I got let go from my job because I failed. I was broke. I had student loans. I had to take this test again. It seemed like the universe was telling me all of the things that I was afraid of were real -- that I didn’t deserve any of it, and I wasn’t good enough.

I wanted SO BADLY to give up then.

But I didn’t. I couldn’t. It’s just not in my nature to give up. Just like the professor who told me I’d never make it, I got pissed the fuck off.

I went back to my homestate and passed the bar exam there, just to prove I could do it (and to give myself a back up). I got a higher paying job, which I HATED because it wasn’t in the area of law I wanted to work and the culture was just so toxic. I LABORED at that job just to be made to feel like I was less than because my license was a different state’s license. (Literally, one attorney told me I wasn’t really a lawyer because the bar exam he took was “harder” than the one I took).

So, cut to now -- I found out that I FINALLY passed the California bar. After being told time and again I wasn’t good enough. After struggling to stay afloat mentally and financially. After feeling like I wasn’t cut out to live my life in the way I had wanted for myself for so long. I have the job of my dreams and the license I toiled for.

And I’m here to say -- if you’re still reading this ... there’s something to be said for tenacity. To be a little fearless when the world wants you to be afraid. To bet on YOURSELF because you KNOW in your heart you have what it takes. And you do.

Be tenacious. Be bold. Be who you are meant to. Some things are hard-won. But the struggle doesn’t mean you’re not worthy. It means you’re a fighter.

And, literally, if I can do it -- YOU CAN TOO. Bet on yourself.

#personal

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missivyhq · 2 years

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was that [ SELENA GOMEZ ] spotted down at the shoreline of east hamptons main beach? must just be, [ IVY AMOR ] the [ TWENTY-EIGHT ] year old [ MODEL & STYLIST ]. whenever i hear [ SWEET BY PSYCHO BY AVA MAX ] it reminds me of them. they are known for being [ IMPULSIVE ] but they make up for that by being [ BUBBLY ]. they have been living in the hamptons for [ 3 YEARS ]. ( ooc information: sally, 25, gmt+10, she/her, )

ivy amor, the twenty-eight years old model and stylist born and raised in calabasas, california. ivy grew up alongside her older brother, younger sister and her loving parents. she loved her family and she loved how close her and her siblings were. there always did everything together, attached at the hip. the three of them were always so supportive of one another.

ivy always had a interest in fashion and modelling for as long as she could remember. watching parents in the lime light, going to events, wearing so many amazing clothes it just made ivy want to be involved in that even more. she wanted her love for fashion to be her job and that’s what it became.

she made sure through her schooling years that she stayed focused and worked hard because she knew it would all pay off in the end. once she graduated from high school her application to study a bachelors degree in fashion and design was accepted.

ivy moved to new york and had such an amazing time at fashion school, it made her fall in love with fashion all over again. this is where she met her daughters dad. it first started off with coffee dates here and there on campus before it turned into them spending almost every free moment they had together.

three years later she had graduated from her degree with honours in almost all of her subjects. she was so proud of herself and how far she had come. throughout her degree she attended so many fashion shows and she just fell more in love with modelling. she had always had an eye for it but never thought she could be one. until one day she received a phone call from a modelling agency saying that she would be the perfect fit for their next campaign. she was shocked as she had never done it before but they had said they had seen her at one of the fashion shows she had been to while she studied.

ivy became a model when she was twenty-one and she hasn’t looked back since. she does some sketching every now and again and still loves it but her main focus is modelling.

when she turned twenty-five her modelling career had a little pause when she found out she was pregnant with her daughter Anastasia. it was quite overwhelming for ivy when she first found out and it didn’t make the situation any better when her daughters dad didn’t want anything to do with her. ivy was left to go through the entire pregnancy on her own, raise Anastasia as a single parent. although she is okay now at first she had a hard time, barely left the house. she couldn’t understand how someone she thought loved her could just leave like that and want nothing to do with their daughter.

before she gave birth to her daughter, she decided that she needed to get out of new york city. away from the pain that came along with some of the memories she had created there. she would always loved new york city but it didn’t feel like home anymore. ivy decided to move out to the hamptons, she had always loved it and so this was her next adventure.

after a year and a half off to focus on being a new mum, she started to slowly get back into her career. she started off getting back into styling as it was much easier for her to work from home with baby ana. it took her a little longer to get back into modelling which she was excited to get back into since it is what she loves. at the moment ivy is both modelling and styling while being a mother.

WANTED CONNECTIONS

best friends

girl squad

younger sister

older brother

bad influence

brother/sister type friendship

exes

baby daddy

new fling

childhood friends

people she’s styled

modelling friends

someone who only wants to be her friend because shes famous -

plot based off damon and bonnies friendship from the vampire diaries (x) -

these are just some ideas. i have some most musing posts on her musing blog here and you can find her taken connections page here

#hhq:intro

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wickedspun54 · 1 month

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I should say something that, quite frankly, has been on my mind since I entered the 2nd half of my adult life.

I grew up in a small town in the Midwest, Indiana to be precise. I had absolutely no one to guide me in this journey. Being a gay man I wasn't told that when I hit a certain age that If I didn't have that rock solid hard(7 days a week going to the gym) body. The GAY Community would be the cliquish High School group I would be welcomed member automatically. It wouldn't be a factor of my great and spontaneous sense of humor, or my love for Music and Movie industries and trivia. Plus my ability of loyalty to all the friends that I would have over the years. Just as long as I would have a GOD like body, a full head of hair, or wouldn't look like a Holocaust Survivor being bald. My place in our community would be secure. No one ever gave me that advice growing up as a gay teen.

Instead I'm a 54yr old man that refuses to go shirtless in the summer for fear that my splotchy gray hairy chest and my semi-fluffy stomach would be the the topic of laughter I would endure. I wear a hat to cover up my brownish gray balding head, because I dare not shave my head, because if I did shave my scalp I do look like a survivor of Schindler's List. ( I'm not Jewish but my Barbra Streisand nose would say otherwise)

I have never felt attractive by the standards of the Gay Community exposes on me. I will never have that full head of hair, GOD like Muscle body, or a 9 inch piece of manhood between my legs. That was never a trait in my DNA, and I have to just to accept it.

Today I have to accept the reality of being diagnosed HIV+ at the age of 16. Going through High School in the closet for fear of being lynched and beaten because I was sick and gay. I have to accept all the jobs I had and the Employers that fired me when they caught the conversations of fellow Co workers who saw me coming out of the AIDS clinic(so much for privacy) so it's a matter of falsifying the Work Application was their "GO TO " reason for my termination.

I also have to just accept the low self esteem that is thrusted upon me by my gay community for all the things of my appearance that has never lived up to their standards. I now have to accept that being the ugly, ageing TROLL by their standards. I won't ever be in a relationship with any man because I am ugly in my appearance on the outside.

It doesn't matter of the Bright Light that burns in my soul that make me attractive the light of loyalty to everyone I deem to be in my circle, the light of LOVE I show. The light of my laughter I share with everyone for my DNA has those traits in the code. The Beacon of light also shines on my love for knowledge even if it's useless knowledge of trivia. It shines on all these things in my personality, but my ugly appearance dictates differently. Some will say I can change my appearance simply by going to the plastic surgeon and butchering thing up. Finding a Trainor for the gym. I would agree on those if after 35yrs of going from job to job, career after career. Those luxuries are not in my grasp. They only happen for the young gay community that gives me that look of discuss if I just say Hello to at the club. That look of " why even try old man you will never have a chance with me" The same was true in High School goes double today as an aging gay male in the community I fight for every single day for the fundamental right of owning your privacy to be gay, to be married,to be equal in every aspect in society, when we are not. I just have to accept life and all the dreams that shattered for myself when I was told " YOU'RE UGLY".

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kentucky-daisey · 9 months

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My coworker quit and officially finished up last week and, like, I knew I'd be picking up a lot of his work until they hired someone new, but I didn't realize how much until I had a meeting with my manager and she was going over a bunch of upcoming deadlines and ongoing tasks. And I think I might die? Because it's suddenly becoming very clear that neither she nor my director will be taking on any of his work. It's all going to be me. Partially because I don't think they know how to do most of what he did (I trained him) but also because she didn't even pretend to take things off my plate.

I'm effectively doing two people's jobs with no pay raise and it's only Wednesday and I'm usually pretty busy but it's been steady work for for the last week and a half straight and I feel like I might be losing my mind. And I've managed but the instant something unexpected comes up I'm fucked.

I have to arrange exhibitions and panels for two different programs that will be attended by major donors (this Friday and next Friday) as well as send placement offers and cancellations for the Fall, which means updating our internal schedule and update and send faculty their schedules, process payroll, edit a slideshow to send to faculty (we have a big orientation at the beginning of September and they've only just picked the date), contact applicants for one program (two parents yelled at me for this today), organize applications for another program, start planning for my own class, and rep our department and give tours at a registration fair that both of my bosses will be out of town for. Oh, also our gallery and 30+ plinths were redone and my and left in the gallery and my boss told the COO who managed all that that we'd (me) put everything away. The plinths are stored in a shelving system. I exercise but weigh maybe 125 on a good day. I can't lift them. I told my boss I wouldn't be able to lift them on my own and it's like hadn't even thought about it. I had a parent yell at me yesterday for not accepting their kid into a program and I had to tell them I never got their application. Two other parents (of the same kid) yelled at me today because I didn't accept their kid into a program because he's two years younger than the minimum age. Our director insisted on doing the write ups for the two receptions (which I've done the last two years) and then left of vacation without doing any of it. So I had to do it in a single day because Marketing needed to send it off to the printer by the end of that day. When they brought it up, my manager was basically like "well, we'll have to wait for him to get back", to which I said "it needs to get done, so I'll just do it". And when the proofs came back for the director and I to edit I didn't even wait for him to respond. Neither did Marketing. I gave them what they need, they said good, and my director came in after the fact with a "looks good!".

Fuck. This is the forth time this has happened in this job, me doing someone else's work after they quit, and they've said they'll hire someone for the start of Fall, but I'll believe it when I see it. It took them six months to hire the guy who just quit. I literally overheard my manager tell my director they didn't have any good candidates.

What makes it worse is we had a meeting a month back about how they wanted me to do more coordinator work, because that's my role. But now I'm both the coordinator and assistant because assistants are paid so shit they never stick around.

I might actually lose it.

#work #non profit #i'm so tired

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conspiracyofcartographers · 1 year

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Little rant, please ignore, don’t reblog.

So, I have been diligently applying for jobs for, not an exaggeration, two and a half years. I spent five years working on a PhD because I thought that might help me with achieving my career goals. I poured my heart and soul into it, I wrote good papers, I published one of them, I took advantage of all the teaching opportunities available to me. I did the work, is what I'm saying. It has been very frustrating and humiliating to find that after all of that work, not only can I not get hired in my chosen field, it seems I can’t get hired AT ALL.

I applied to well over 200 jobs, a few every week for, as I said, two and a half years. I wasn’t super picky, just tried to find things that I was interested in and were within my, not inconsiderable, skillset. Academic jobs, museum jobs (I did museum work before starting my PhD, so I actually have experience, I’m not just showing up with the “I have a PhD, I can do any job” attitude that people applying for alt-ac type jobs often get accused of having), clerical jobs, academic support jobs, policy and research jobs, part time, entry level. Whatever I could find that I thought I had about 80 percent of the asked for experience. I had a few things that I didn’t want: 1. I didn’t want to take a job that involved my husband and I keeping separate residences for a prolonged period (what is the point of getting married if I can’t live with my partner, what is the point of a job if I have to spend an excessive amount of my salary paying rent twice.) 2. No war crimes (I’m a military historian, I’m not going to go apply for a company supplying weapons to warlords in Africa). 3. Not the police (See number 2, war crimes abroad or war crimes at home, you use pepper spray on protesters and it’s a no from me, dog.) 4. No call centres (I have anxiety, and telephones are a major trigger, aside from these being terrible jobs generally, I'd have had a panic attack the first day). 5. I didn’t want the same job I had before I went and did my degree, I have more experience, so I want career progression. I think these are fairly reasonable asks.

Over the course of the past 30 months I have had a grand total of 3 interviews. A resounding indictment of the state of the job market and the lie of ‘transferrable skills’ put forward by academia, in my humble opinion.I asked the university for job support and followed their application advice. I have rewritten my CV 14 times, and tailored every single cover letter to the jobs I applied for, no boilerplate stuff, because obviously, if I wasn’t getting hired, it was my fault for just not saying the right magic words. The job incantation.

Friday of last week, I applied for a policy advisor job that was posted on LinkedIn, it involved posting my CV on a searchable interface. In the days since, I have been contacted by no less than 6 agencies begging me to work as a substitute secondary school teacher, no word from the policy position I ACTUALLY applied for. This is so fucking frustrating, because part-time teacher is the job I held immediately after graduating with my BA. I was an after-school art teacher/lunch lady, got paid shit, got treated like worse, and I fucking hated it. It’s been a decade and I have significantly more subject knowledge and experience now, and I DO NOT WANT TO WORK WITH CHILDREN. Or, more accurately, I don’t want to work with unhinged parents.

I‘m tired y’all. I’m taking the job.

After all, it’s the only one I’ve been offered in over two years. But I am so fucking frustrated. I put in so much effort to try to develop a career and I am back at the same place I was ten years ago. Actually worse, because the pay isn’t even as good as what I got at 22. And more than that, this is a job that they’ll literally hire anyone with a pulse and no history of pedophilia. The industry is desperate after people left the profession over pressures from the pandemic. There are scheduled teacher strikes in the upcoming months (am I going to be used as a strike breaker? Because fuck that.).

Anyway, I know that I can put this on my CV and take the pay check and fuck off when I find something better. But I am just so tired and frustrated and humiliated and disillusioned. Like, I know the world doesn't actually operate as a true meritocracy, but I did kind of believe that hard work and intelligence would result in *something*, slightly better pay than I earned with just a BA, at the very least.

And the agencies keep calling me, and sending me texts, and emails. I’ve taken my CV down already because like I said, I’m taking the job. But it feels at this point like I’m being hounded and bullied. “No one will hire you to do anything else!” “This is your only choice.” “We’ll keep calling until you give in.”

I know all of this makes me sound like an entitled bitch. But again, I also feel like I put in so. much. work. and I wanted it to be worth *something*.

Side dish of extra humiliation. My husband, who is also a PhD, applied for one (1) academic teaching position. He was rejected, but the job search committee sent him emails and called him to beg him to apply for another position they had just posted and which they thought he would be a better fit for. He got hired as a full time university lecturer TWO YEARS ago. He hasn’t even finished his PhD. Extra cherry on top, he hates his job and wants out. I would give my left arm to have the job he has.

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