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spook-central · 3 years

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So you know how I said I was gonna write a short Ray fic based on that garage kiss in Some Kind of Wonderful?

GUESS WHAT I DID IT

I’ll be posting it here and on archive of our own! Find me there at egonspenglersnose and give it some love!)

It’s based on this scene and this song if you need a little more context! Enjoy!

•••

She Loves Me

Word Count: 2939

Warnings: none it’s fluffy!

The day had started off normally enough, aside from the usual craziness that often occurred around the firehouse. Spring was in the air, and after what had felt like a bleak and oppressive winter, it was finally time to open up the doors and air the place out.

It felt good, letting the spring air in, and it made your overtime far more bearable.

You often stayed late a few times a week to make sure everything was caught up on for the next day when things got busy during the work week, something which Janine always appreciated greatly. Tonight was no exception, but the sun staying out for a longer time in the evenings definitely made it more enjoyable.

It also helped that Ray had lingered behind this evening to work on the Ecto. You had always been incredibly fond of him, and it was obvious to just about everyone that a crush had blossomed on your part.

You recalled the day you had met him; they had hired you on the spot mainly because they needed the help but also because you had a fairly impressive resume, and Ray was one of the first of the guys you had been introduced to.

He was quite honestly one of the best looking men you had ever met, and so incredibly sweet. You immediately liked him and got a good feeling about him.

You loved how passionate he was about the Ecto, and his overall knowledge of cars had always impressed you. Even if you didn’t know much about them, you loved his enthusiasm for them and it easily rubbed off on you.

Now, as you finished up the last of your paperwork for the evening, you could hear him tinkering away not far from you. Ecto had her fair share of problems, but there was nothing Ray wouldn’t do for that car. It was like another member of the team, and you couldn’t imagine the guys doing anything without it.

Ray would occasionally come in from where he was working for something he needed, and your eyes would meet on occasion. You had never had the guts to tell him of your feelings. Ray was just so cute and enthusiastic about what he did that it was hard NOT to give him heart eyes 24/7.

From time to time, you would hear him shuffle in for a drink of water or a missing wrench that he had left in the lab, smiling at him as you took in the sight of his wild brown hair and big, sweet eyes. How was it fair for one human to be that cute? You felt like you were sixteen again with the way you wanted to fawn over him.

However, restraint was a quality you possessed as well, and you hoped that you had been able to be somewhat subtle around him.

Oh well, maybe someday you would have enough courage. Sighing as you finished up your paperwork for the night, you stood to stretch your back, adjusting your jeans, purse and blouse as you made your way towards the door.

“She still down and out?” You asked Ray as you came to stand carefully beside the lovely car he had so caringly constructed and repaired. It really was his baby, in a funny way, and you respected the work that had gone into it a great deal. Ecto kept the guys in one piece, and you gave the vehicle a sweet little pat on the roof as if to say thank you.

“Not if I have anything to say about it,” he said, his voice echoing off of the metal interior before attempting to stand up too quickly and bumping his head on it. “Ow!”

“You okay?”

“Yeah, it always gets me like that,” he chuckled, rubbing the spot on the back of his head that had been bumped and smiling that sweet, bright smile of his at you that always made you melt. “Are you headed out for the day?”

“Yup, unless you need anything else from me that is,” truth be told, you would’ve gladly stayed all night just to hang around with him. Ray seemed hesitant to fully say Goodnight, and you couldn’t help wondering if he was thinking the same thing.

“Well, uh...hand me the socket wrench?” You had gotten a fairly decent rundown of which tools were which upon receiving your first car as a teenager thanks to your father, so luckily you knew exactly what he needed. “Thanks.”

“Sure thing,” adjusting your purse on your shoulder, you couldn’t help asking about a case that had piqued your interest. “How did that class 5 turn out?”

“The one from yesterday?”

“Yeah, that one sounded nuts!”

“It was,” he laughed, “Venkman’s aim is getting better, he didn’t make any chandeliers explode this time.”

“I thought that one was Egon?”

You both laughed, and part of you was thrilled at how naturally conversation came for the both of you.

Needing a socket wrench turned into needing pliers, but soon enough Ray ran out of tools to need and it was clear that he really just wanted to spend time with you. You weren’t about to object in the slightest, comfortably sitting on a nearby stool and watching as he worked.

Truth be told, he had liked you ever since meeting you on that first day. You were always kind to him, and listened to anything he had to say no matter how out there it was.

He also couldn’t help thinking that you were incredibly pretty and very smart, but his own shy nature prevented him from saying so the way he wanted to.

A long time passed with you talking to Ray as he worked, and it was quite nice. The sun was setting now, the light golden as it streamed in from the open door beside the Ecto, but you didn’t mind.

“So Venkman seriously busted up this woman’s entire China cabinet?” The conversation had strayed back to Venkman now, and you couldn’t help laughing. He was such an odd duck, and you always got a kick out of him and his wild antics.

“We were able to blame it on the ghost being rowdy, but my god, it was a mess!” Ray tried to smooth back his messy hair as he laughed again, his hands covered in engine grease and not helping the situation much.

“He seems like he can be a real peach when he’s not causing trouble,” you rolled your eyes, smiling as Ray closed up the Ecto’s hood.

“He teases me plenty, that’s for sure, but I love him. He’s one of my best friends,” Ray was clearly fond of Venkman, and you didn’t doubt that their bond was a special one.

“What on earth does he tease you about?”

“Mostly my luck with women. Not that his is anything to go by,” this got a gut laugh out of you, and you were surprised by how witty Ray could be at times.

“No kidding. What, does he think you haven’t got game or something?”

“He tells me women won’t want to kiss me since I smoke so much.” Ray rolled his eyes, and you couldn’t help thinking about how far from the truth that actually was. “Or he acts like I don’t know how to do it at all. I mean, sure, I spend a lot of time at work but I’m not a complete hermit.”

You both laughed again, and you sat your purse on the ground as you got a rather cheeky idea. Was it even smart to try and approach things like this? Would he go for it? God, you hoped so.

“I’m sure you know how. I mean, everybody has a general idea of how to lay a proper smooch on someone if they want to.”

He raised an eyebrow at this, thinking the phrasing was humorous and wanting to hear more from you on this subject in particular.

“A ‘proper smooch’?”

“Yeah, you know. The kiss that kills. Butterflies and rainbows and all that stuff.”

He watched you as you took a few causal steps toward the Ecto now, the gears visibly turning in his head. Was this some subtle attempt at flirting?

The nearby radio, which had been playing softly in the background the whole time, played a song that perfectly fit the mood, the lyrics softly ringing out as you contemplated what to say next.

‘Who made the rule

that I should always play the fool?

All the nights I suffered

when I need not have bothered…’

“I don’t think I’ve ever had one of those, now that I think about it,” he admitted with a half smile.

“I uh...I think I’ve gotten close, but never all the way there,” you tucked a bit of hair behind your ear, watching as Ray adjusted his uniform, which he still had on. It had smudges of engine grease on it now, and you found it endearing.

He realized that this chance was now or never, gauging by the look in your eyes that you wanted what he wanted and deciding to go for it.

“How would it work? I mean...you seem like you know more about it than me,” he took a step closer, and you knew your eyes were shining in an undeniably flirty way.

“Oh you—you want me to show you?”

“I mean...if you feel up to it. I’m no expert and I could use the help.” Cheeky man, you thought. You could certainly show him if that was what he wanted.

“Do you have your eye on somebody, Ray?”

He wiped his hands on a nearby rag, the tension heightening as you watched them and then met his eyes again. You had always had a thing for those wonderful hands of his.

“I guess you could say that, yeah,” he nodded, his big brown eyes warm and sincere and you knew what he wanted to say but didn’t right then.

Instead of pressing further, you nodded, thinking this might be the most fun lesson you ever had the pleasure of teaching anyone as you got right into it.

“Well...I mean, first you have to start off in a stationary position. That helps,” he was closer now, and your cheeks flashed a soft tinge of pink as the space between you lessened. You didn’t usually have it in you to be playful, but decided to gently hop up on the hood of the Ecto in an attempt to bring him closer. “Come a little closer than that. Can’t do a thing from that far away.”

You moved to scoot nearer to the edge of the hood, willing Ray closer and practically beaming as he closed the space between you both more and more with each step.

Had anyone else sat on the hood like this, Ray might have gotten finicky, but the sight of you so close to the car he loved so much actually only ended up getting him going even more.

“It definitely helps,” he rubbed the back of his neck now, seeing that this had clearly turned into something beyond just a lesson in kissing techniques. You could smell his cologne now that he was so close, which only seemed to set your senses on overdrive even further.

“Now, uh...do you know where your hands go?”

His eyebrows raised in what seemed like a mix of curiosity and confusion, and you couldn’t help the way your breath hitched now that he stood directly in front of you.

“My hands?”

“Yeah. They go on the hips of whoever you’re kissing,” the mood had certainly shifted now, and you felt more daring than you ever had before. A timid smile crossed your face as Ray allowed you to guide his hands to the appropriate place, and the realization that this was definitely about to happen made your stomach do leaps.

“Hips, got it.” God, his hands were so strong and steady and you didn’t even care if this got engine grease on your jeans, it was just thrilling to have him this close.

“Okay, now look into my eyes. Eye contact is important.” The both of you gave a shy, breathy chuckle as your eyes met, and you playfully shoved Ray’s chest. “Come on, we’ve gotta take this seriously if you want to learn anything.”

“Sorry, I get a little skittish with these things,” he admitted, and you shook your head with a smile.

“It’s okay, but the lesson isn’t quite over yet,” you said, your cheeks noticeably warmer. The tension was enough to make your heart race.

“Alright, and uh...after that?”

“Well, uh...my hands go here,” you reached up to loop your arms around his neck, inevitably bringing him directly between your legs and causing Ray to clear his throat.

“How do you, uh...I mean, how do you know that that happens every time?”

“I watch a lot of TV, I guess,” you managed a soft laugh with this, “now, uh...close your eyes.”

Ray’s heart was pounding. Was this seriously about to happen?

“Close my—? Oh, yeah, okay.” He nodded a bit, doing as you said and knowing he had wanted this for what felt like forever. He was so handsome up close, and you couldn’t believe your luck.

It was time to go in for the kill, and you didn’t waste a second.

Leaning in, the first contact was soft and exploratory, and it took Ray a moment to figure out exactly how to respond. But once he got the angle right, it was everything you had described and more.

The music swelled on the radio nearby, and you thought you could’ve melted right then and there.

‘The minutes that we missed

idle lips that should’ve kissed

and now gently together

The first kiss lasts forever

She loves me, she loves me

Oh and she loves me, all the time…’

Tilting his head a bit, Ray found just the right angle, and one kiss turned into what felt like a million. Your hands made their way into his hair, that hair you loved so much that often seemed to fly out in all directions.

His lips were soft and very pleasant to kiss, and it occurred to you that he must use lip balm of some kind. Ray himself couldn’t believe this was happening. He honestly couldn’t fathom how he had been lucky enough to end up kissing you like this, but he was, and he was putting everything he had into it.

Ray’s mind moved at a million miles a minute. All he could think about was how it felt when you moved in a rhythm with him, how soft your lips were, your soft body, and how GOOD you smelled—

He nearly sighed as he felt your leg brace around him to bring him in as close as possible, gripping your jeans to pull you close by your hips in return.

You nearly melted into a puddle on the floor at the feeling of his grip, so strong and firm on you like he couldn’t bear to leave any space between the two of you at all.

He must have shaved that morning, you thought, having expected him to have at least a little stubble and feeling surprised that there was none. Where on earth had Ray learned to kiss so well? Boy would Venkman have egg on his face if he knew about THIS.

Unfortunately for you both, you had to break away and breathe at some point, just looking at each other until you finally managed to speak.

“Well, uh...Venkman was wrong. Way wrong. Wow.”

“It was...I mean, was it like you said? Butterflies and—and all that for you too?”

“Are you kidding?” You laughed, “sheesh, I didn’t know you had that in you. You wouldn’t have any trouble hooking any woman you wanted if you kissed her like that.”

He seemed surprised and incredibly flattered, looking down and then back up at you with a grin and eager brown eyes.

“Was it obvious at all that I was referring to you?”

“I kind of hoped that was the case,” both of you grinned then, the final chorus of the song fading out in the background as the spring breeze blew in once more.

‘She loves me, she loves me

Oh and she loves me all the time…’

You couldn’t resist leaving a sweet peck on Ray’s cheek just because you could, earning a bright smile from him as he got a somewhat playful gleam in his eye.

“The guys are gonna be gone for the rest of the evening, and I don’t have anything else planned...would you want to grab some dinner with me?”

“Sure, but only if we can do more of this afterwards,” you giggled, and Ray helped you off the hood of the Ecto to stand you up and kiss you so that he could press you flush against him now. You were sure you looked like a cartoon character with birds chirping around your head as he pulled away.

“You drive a hard bargain,” Ray said, unable to keep from grinning as he took your hand, “but you’ve got yourself a deal.”

What a lesson to teach with anyone, you thought. He was a fast learner, that was for sure.

Picking up your purse, the two of you headed out, and you couldn’t help humming that lovely chorus to yourself one last time.

‘She loves me, she loves me

Oh and she loves me all the time…’

#ghostbusters #dan aykroyd #ray stantz #ray stantz x reader #ray stantz fanfic #ghostbusters fanfiction

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a-little-slice-of-fandom · 3 years

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In derry girls, what did you think of the episode where clare came out? Im irish (republic) and gay so i love that it was included, but some of the language used makes me uncomfortable i guess? I get that NI in the 90s wasnt very accepting but the directors have said that they already portrayed it through rose coloured glasses so having michelle say d*ke feels unnecessary. I love the show though and can certainly look past it! I was just interested in what you thought :)))

Hey anon!

Personally I love this episode of Derry Girls! In fact it��s probably my favourite episodes. I already liked Clare as a character throughout the series, probably because I relate to her a bit too much, so to have her be revealed as gay was just like the icing on the cake. Good representation for northern Irish characters are few and far between, and gay northern Irish characters are basically non existent. Derry Girls was this hit TV show that provided many with the first chance to see themselves represented meaningfully on TV, and that includes myself.

However, I think there’s a lot of really important stuff in this episode that people either don’t notice or just don’t really talk about, which I do understand because Derry Girls is, at the end of the day, a comedy and it’s much more fun to quote characters like Aunt Sarah saying “you cannot move for lesbians these days” than to think about the darker side of Northern Ireland.

(T/W for homophobia discussion!!!)

(Also this sort of turned into a ramble about acceptance by the end of the post but I just have a lot of feelings on what Derry girls represents and I feel like non northern Irish viewers maybe don’t catch onto that because they don’t have the necessary context)

Derry Girls, as a show, is so interesting and personal to me because it manages to perfectly strike the balance between presenting Northern Ireland as a deeply flawed and divided country, but also presenting it as a place where people can be happy and live their lives to the fullest despite the ever present danger of the troubles. And that’s a genuinely refreshing portrayal of N.I that we usually don’t get. However I’d argue that if Derry Girls doesn’t at least try and illustrate, to some extent, the causal and very rampant homophobia of northern Ireland then it runs the risk of romanticising Northern Ireland at the time, which I think is incredibly dangerous. I do think that the show is intentionally more digestible and does filter things through rose tinted glasses, however I’d argue that simply glossing over the homophobia would have actually been a bit disrespectful to the queer history of Northern Ireland and could erase the experiences and struggles of the LGBTQ community in N.I, both then and now. If the show doesn’t acknowledge that things were shitty then we paint an inaccurate picture of what it was like, and arguably still is like, to be gay in Northern Ireland. And considering that Derry Girls is one of the very few good depictions of Northern Ireland, it’s incredibly important that it’s an honest depiction.

You specifically asked about Michelle, but I think it’s important to talk about Michelle and Erin in relation to one another, and how they are both products of their time and of a deeply homophobic society.

(Now I’m going to briefly discuss Michelle’s use of the d-slur here however I just want to acknowledge that I’m probably not the best person to talk about this since it’s a lesbian specific slur and I’m not a lesbian. I welcome any additions to this post!)

I think Michelle sort of represents the overt and “loud” homophobia that’s present in our society. Michelle saying the d-slur is far from the first homophobic thing she says. I mean It’s literally a running gag in series one that she calls James “gay” constantly. And the sad thing is that Michelle’s off handed comments throughout the series are incredibly realistic to what you’d hear in Northern Ireland even today. I remember the f-slur being chanted during break time at my primary school, without anyone fully understanding what that word meant. Michelle is a representation of the homophobia that’s deeply ingrained into N.I to the point where it’s not even thought about or even seen as an issue. I mean...no one ever really talks about Michelle’s comments. Now whether or not they had to include her saying a slur specifically to illustrate the homophobia of N.I is not for me to say. You could change that sentence in the script and I think the point of Michelle representing “loud” and homophobia would still stand.

On the other hand...I think Erin represents the much more insidious and “quiet” homophobia.

Firstly, she has no issue with capitalising off a very personal essay for her own gain, shrugs off any protests that this might be wrong and doesn’t consider how her actions may hurt the writer of this piece (who is later revealed to be Clare).

Even the language she uses is a bit uncomfortable, saying that “a real life lesbian walks among us”. Are lesbians wild animals or mythical creatures? That seems to be what Erin is implying here. Plus Erin tries to make it out to others such as Sister Michael that she’s doing this because she genuinely believes in equal rights and wishes to stick up for the LGBT community, but when Clare actually tries to come out Erin is clearly confused and she reacts very badly. I mean, Erin literally says she doesn’t want Clare to come out and demands she get back in the closet, and you can see how hurt Clare is by this reaction. And this scene is kind of played for laughs and I think that straight viewers probably found Erin’s reaction quite funny...but this scene hit way too close to home for me. It’s the classic “I have nothing against gay people, but I’d just rather I didn’t have a gay friend/child/co-worker because they make me uncomfortable” that’s way too common in Northern Ireland. It’s the idea that people can present themselves as liberal and open minded, but when finally confronted with something that doesn’t fit their narrative, their societal conditioning kicks in.

As a queer woman, it was never Michelle’s causal homophobia that made me uncomfortable, it was Erin’s reaction...because it hit way too close to home. It’s a perfect representation of the “quiet” homophobia that’s still a massive issue in Northern Ireland today.

(Also the context of when Derry Girls was released is super important! Series one of Derry Girls was released in 2018...but Gay marriage wasn’t actually legalised in Northern Ireland until January of 2020 and even then it was quite contested by conservatives. Now I’m not saying there’s social commentary here but that’s absolutely what I’m saying.)

Now I’m not saying that Michelle or Erin themselves are homophobic, nor am I saying that they’re bad people. I think that they are teenagers that have absorbed a lot of homophobic rhetoric due to the time and the society that they live in. Although Erin’s reaction to Clare trying to come out was painful to watch because it felt so real, I don’t think her reaction was malicious. Erin is a teenager who has grown up in a homophobic society and now doesn’t really know how to react to this new reality and probably didn’t realise how hurtful she was being to Clare. (This isn’t me trying to excuse her reaction, again I am part of the LGBT community and I’ve experienced that exact same reaction from people, it’s me trying to understand Erin’s reaction). Erin and Michelle have both absorbed rhetoric from their deeply homophobic society, and unfortunately this rhetoric continues.

Plus I just want to comment on this idea of acceptance and change in Derry Girls. Derry Girls is set in the time of great change in Northern Ireland, where people were sort of starting to accept that people are allowed to be British or Irish or both. But this process was messy and it wasn’t instantaneous. And the acceptance of the LGBTQ community in Northern Ireland was the exact same. It didn’t just happen overnight. It was a slow and messy process of change, of people re-evaluating their previous beliefs and being given the chance to grow as people and to learn how to accept others. That’s not to say people haven’t made mistakes in the past, because they have, but they’re willing to take the steps to change. I‘ve always thought the LGBTQ subplot of Derry Girls is sort of a parallel to the overall process of change in Northern Ireland in a political sense. And I think that flies over so many people’s heads because they don’t have that context of the political situation in N.I.

(And this theme of acceptance is seen again in the series finale of series 2 with James! ✨ Thematic consistency ✨ )

Because at the end of the day, Clare is accepted by the group. In fact, we see both the teenagers and the adults actively take steps to make her feel loved, welcome and accepted. My favourite moment will always be Granda Joe saying “you’re a very talented people” to Clare in the most earnest voice. Clare is still loved by her friends and although they don’t exactly know what they’re doing, they do try and show their support for her. They absolutely make mistakes, and they did hurt Clare, but they’re trying and I think that stands for a lot, especially at the time.

And I think all of what I discussed was absolutely necessary to Derry Girls. Derry Girls might be a somewhat rose tinted portrayal of Derry in the troubles, but it never tries to romanticise the situation that the teenagers were in (because no one should be romanticising the troubles). I think that this stance of portraying the harsh reality of homophobia in N.I is equally important to the narrative of Derry Girls. I see my own experiences in Clare, despite the fact it’s 30 years later, so if they didn’t at least attempt to show the homophobia in Ireland it would have felt disingenuous and too “perfect”. Again, I’m not saying that Michelle using the d slur was the right way to go about showing the “loud” homophobia of Northern Ireland. That’s not my decision to make. However, just because Derry Girls is making efforts to present Northern Ireland in a more digestible way to audiences (especially non northern Irish audiences) doesn’t mean they shouldn’t also acknowledge the reality of Northern Ireland at the time.

(This all kind of makes it sound like I want Clare to get hate crimed which I obviously do not want. I think the way that Derry Girls showed the issues in Northern Ireland were perfect and very much necessary, minus the use of the d-slur specifically which wasn’t necessary to the plot.)

Anyway thank you so much for the ask anon! This was much more rambly than my usual posts but I just really have a lot of opinions on Derry girls because it does mean a lot to me and it often does hit close to home.

#derry girls #michelle mallon #erin quinn #clare devlin #enya discusses: derry girls #long post

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nony-bear · 3 years

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sʟᴇᴇᴘᴏᴠᴇʀ! sʟᴇᴇᴘᴏᴠᴇʀ! sʟᴇᴇᴘᴏᴠᴇʀ!

tea or coffee ♡ favorite icecream flavor + toppings ♡ favorite article of clothing ♡ favorite jewelry piece ♡ explain your aesthetic ♡ baked sweets or candy//chocolate ♡ what color are your bedsheets? ♡ do you own any stuffed animals? if so , how many! ♡ what are your favorite smells for shampoo + conditioner, lotion and perfume! ♡ favorite candles ♡ fluffy bathrobes or silk bathrobes? ♡ causal soft slippers or fluffy animals slippers? ♡ dark academia or light academia? ♡ do you think blankets are a good present (on any occasion) ♡ what are your favorite pajamas ♡ favorite lip balm flavor/type ♡ do you have any childhood nicknames? ♡ favorite disney princess ♡ favorite sanrio character ♡ favorite Disney movie ♡ what we’re youre childhood celebrity crushes! ♡ if you could switch your life with one celebrity who would it be? ♡ five favorite songs you’re currently obsessed with ♡ what is your comfort movie ♡ what is your comfort food ♡ what are your special talents? ♡ biggest pet peeves ♡ what are your turn ons and turn offs ♡ if you’re life we’re to be made into a movie what actress do you want to portray you? ♡ what color do you paint on your finger nails and what color on your toes? ♡ what are your favorite 90s - early 2000s rom come? ♡ do you watch horror movies? if so what are your favorites? ♡ what tropes do you love and want to see more in movies? ♡ favorite bands you listened to as a kid that you sometime still listen to now! ♡ if you were a disney princess (wait you already are) what kind of animal would you want to be your little sidekick? ♡ cashmere sweaters or wooly turtlenecks?

Hi Rosie! 🥺💖 Thank you so much!!! This got really long so a put read more on lol

Join My Sleepover! 🎉🥰🍾

Coffee if I have to choose but I love both!

I love love love the Ben & Jerry’s cannoli ice cream BUT chocolate and vanilla swirl with rainbow sprinkles is my fave

I love sweatshirts lol my favorite is my one my friend got me that has the scene from the office where Dwight has a pumpkin on his head!

I’m really bad at remembering to wear jewelry but I never take my nose ring out so it's always there so probably that lol.

My aesthetic is like post-emo meets dark academia, I don’t know how else to describe it besides a mess really lol

Baked sweets for sure I love cookies!

My bedsheets are light blue

I have many many many stuffies that I’ve kept since I was little and have added to even now lol so like I don’t even know how many at this point!

shampoo and conditioner are definitely like coconut or like tropical smells? I have wavy-curly hair so most of them have coconut oil in them which I think smells super good! But perfume I lean more towards lavender and vanilla type scents!

My favorite candles are ones that smell like lavender or earthy or like men’s cologne lol

Silk! I love smooth fabrics even if I get cold

I actually don’t like slippers lol I don’t know why I always think I want them but then literally never use them lol

Dark academia all the way :)

Blankets are amazing presents I love them on any occasion!

My favorite PJs are a pair of purple shorts that have blue bears drinking tea and I usually wear a random baggy t-shirt with them

I love the Burt's bees chia latte holiday flavor chapstick it's my favorite right now!

My childhood nickname is actually bear lol which is why I picked nony bear lol

My favorite Disney princesses are Belle and Repunzel!

Favorite character scenario is definitely anything ddlg related but other than that I’m a sucker for friends to lovers

My favorite Disney movie is Lilo and Stitch closely followed by Big Hero 6, Tangled, Beauty and The Beast, honestly, I’m so indecisive lol

Childhood crushes were Nick Jonas, Zac Efron, Josh Hutcherson, and Niall Horan lol ESPECIALLY Niall

I honestly don’t know who I’d like to switch lives with! Maybe Zendaya? she’s so successful and talented and pretty and knows like everyone so I’m sure I could find a way to meet Chris lol

Songs I’m currently obsessed with are Death by a thousand cuts by Taylor Swift, Driver’s License, but Olivia Rodrigo, You and Jennifer by bulow, I’m sad by eli, and Drew Barrymore by Bryce Vine!

My current comfort movie is actually a tv show and it's on Netflix and its called maniac lol

Comfort food is fruit gummies and quesadillas!

I honestly have no special talents lol except I’m kind of good at drawing maybe? I don't know I’m trying to get better

A huge pet peeve is loud chewers and slow walkers lol

Turn-ons and offs are a huge list but big turn-ons are big hands, big noses lmao, and funny guys, turn offs are when guys are cocky in the way that they are disrespectful or are overtly sexual about everything. Also, turn off is republicans lol

I would want someone funny to portray me lol I’m not sure who but maybe someone up and coming that my movie can be their breakout role lol

I don’t paint my nails a lot because I’m lazy but if I were to paint them right now I’d probably choose like a dusty pink rose vibe

I love romcoms but one of my absolute favorites is 10 things I hate about you, I cry every time I swear

I love horror movies (well when I’m not feeling little lol) I specifically love the SAW franchise, Us, and The Shining!

I love the friends to lovers trope in movies and also like good girl bad guy lol and even like a bit of enemies to lovers I like a lot

I grew up listening to one direction and a lot of emo stuff like twenty-one pilots and panic at the disco and my chemical romance and I still love all of those bands so much honestly especially one direction and twenty-one pilots

My animal sidekick would absolutely be a snail! I love snail so much and I already have a pet snail so yes 100% snail lol

And finally, I’d choose cashmere sweaters because turtlenecks make me too itchy!

Thank you so much Rosie this was so much fun! If anyone actually reads all my answers you're a real one lol 💖💞💗

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unsettledink · 3 years

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Back in the days of LJ, I used to try and do a post at the end of each year, looking back primarily at fandom and fic. I fell out of the habit when everything moved to tumblr, and then it seemed like I didn’t have anything to say since I wasn’t writing or really participating any.

But I always liked the idea of it, because I love to be overly reflective on stuff. And talk about my fic. Any excuse! I shuffled around some of the topics I used back then and added a few I’ve seen around that I liked. It got… long, because I TALK, so I split into two sections.

Your main fandom of the year?

Marvel (MCU) for sure. Primarily with characters from Spider-Man and Iron Man movies.

Your favorite film watched this year?

The Old Guard - I saw a couple trailers and everything about it looked like catnip. ‘It’s probably going to be so dumb, but I don’t even care,’ I thought. And then it was so good. It was so much fun and so much smarter than I expected and I loved each and every character and it just made me happy in so many ways.

Your favorite book read this year?

Red, White, and Royal Blue, Casey McQuiston - I read it twice this year actually. It’s so… cute isn’t the right world. Sweet and hopeful and soft and comforting and intense. I liked every single character which is pretty rare. I cried during the sad parts and then again at the happy ending, like straight up sobbed - both times. I already want to read it again.

Your favorite tv show watched this year?

Schitt’s Creek - I started it on a whim and because a lot of people had said it was good. The episodes were short so it wasn’t a huge time investment. The first season was a little rough, but there were enough funny moments that I hung on, and then… I kept getting fonder and fonder of these idiots as they grew. And THEN… it kept not disappointing me?

You grow to expect certain scripts, twists, jokes, especially in queer story lines. To wait for the bad thing to happen, because it always does. Instead, Schitt’s Creek kept going, ‘hey, here’s the set up for that! Guess what? We’re not doing it. Here’s the happy version instead.’ The relief of having that happen again and again - the last season I’ve watched (I’m sort of saving 6) I cried a bunch but it was always because I was happy.

Your favorite album or song to listen to this year?

1896 - I’ve been waiting for the new Steam Powered Giraffe album so eagerly for aaaaaages. Finally getting recordings of Zero’s songs! Lying Awake remains my favorite off the album, with Eat Your Heart and Bad Days on the Horizon high up there as well. I’m loving what Zero brings to the band.

Your best new fandom discovery of the year?

I don’t know if I really did discover that much? I stuck pretty closely to old fandoms and the ones I picked up in 2019. Maybe Zodiac? It was definitely inspiring, and I want to write and read more in it.

Maybe the couple discords I joined? I still really dislike discord and am not on there much, and mostly lurk when I am, but having somewhere vaguely like the comms I remember makes me feel a little less isolated. It’s the potential, that maybe if I said something I might make a friend, or someone might actually want to hear what I say.

Your biggest fandom disappointment of the year?

The Watch - I mean, I knew it was going to be a disaster with every word said during pre production. I wasn��t ever going to be happy with it. And then it came out and was even worse and uglier and … disrespectful not just of the source material but of actual people connected to Terry. I’m beyond disappointed that this is what we got, and it’s probably going to be a long time before we get anything else.

Devil All the Time was terrible, but I didn’t have especially high hopes. It still didn’t manage to meet them. Yikes.

The most missed of your old fandoms?

Maybe MASH? Someone I follow started talking about it and I was reminded all over again of the wonderful fics in that fandom. I went looking and a lot are gone (still on my computer, lol, but not online), but rereading was such a trip. A slightly depressing trip, but still.

The fandom you haven't tried yet, but want to?

Hmm. I’ve kind of not had the energy to invest in other fandoms at the moment? When The Witcher was having it’s big moment back in January, I had a feeling I might enjoy it enough to fall headfirst into the fandom, so I avoided watching it. Ikr? I don’t have the time or the energy to actively seek anything out.

Your biggest fan anticipations for the New Year?

SO EXCITED about Winter’s Orbit. I mean, the third Spider-Man movie for sure, with worry. The second Venom movie, ugh yes. I have tentative hopes for Jungle Cruise? Jumanji was stellar and I always enjoy Dwayne. I have both hope and dread for the new Suicide Squad - I did love Birds of Prey, so if it’s along those lines, yay. The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard because it should be some fun garbage, my favorite kind. I don’t know how I feel about Dune, but, uh, I’m anticipating it. It seems highly unlikely it will actually happen, but The Wheel of Time TV series.

I want to be excited about Black Widow but it’s hard. It’s not the story I’ve been wanting to see, and I’m angry about Natasha not getting a movie until she’s dead.

You know. If any of it is released for real.

The Good:

I moved to a better place. I got a better paying, better benefits, better environment job that lets me work from home. The house acquired 3-7 more cats depending on the month. I was able to get some serious problems on my car fixed. I have insurance and was able to start on some health stuff. No one I know got sick or died. I wrote a LOT.

The Bad:

Aside from the obvious? Depression hitting extra hard during the winter. Having to put two kittens to sleep. Have my car be hit three times in our parking lot. Being driven INSANE by one of the cats for months while the vets were all closed. Kidney stone. Dealing with several health problems. Stalling for months on Gotcha.

The Indifferent:

Not leaving the house often or easily. Enjoying a new fandom but not doing great at making connections (still real awkward, bud). Raising kittens and saying goodbye. Need new tires. Reading a lot of fic but not a lot of books. Having more pay but more expenses as well (wth insurance??).

2020 fic stats

Number of stories: 39

Number of fandoms: 6? Or 2, if you cluster the others under mcu

Total number of words: 152049

Average word count per story: 4kish

Longest fic: Causality (18k, P/Q)

Shortest fic: Can’t, Won’t (1k, P/Q)

Most comments received: Sieche (49, T/P)

Fandom you wrote the most of: MCU Spider-Man - I only wrote TWO fics that didn’t feature that fandom, wow. And one of those was still MCU.

Fandom you wrote the least of: Zodiac (1!)

Events you participated in: Marvel Trumps Hate, Kinktober, IornspidersGeorg Exchange, Starker Festivals Exchange, MCU Secret Santa, Spiderio Big Bang

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you'd predicted?

SO MUCH MORE OMG. I mean, even just counting posted stuff! (I probably wrote a solid 300k of Gotcha this year.) I did not expect or plan on doing Kinktober, so that’s a whole 31 fics right there. I also wasn’t planning on doing any exchanges - I have a History - but then I did three? And beyond that, I did not expect for everything to get so LONG.

Topic you wrote that you would never have predicted in January:

Tony/Quentin. Goddammit @the-me09 They were like hey, they could be interesting! And while I agreed, I had no ideas for them. THEN they had to go and write Just Bodies That Collide and next thing I know, I’ve got ten fics featuring them and two-six series focused on them or Peter/Quentin/Tony. What the fuck.

Leitmotif of the year:

Vulnerability, I think. I had a bunch of things typed up and they all circle back to vulnerability in the end; sex, being seen, being wanted, sharing trauma, asking for help, trying something new. Offering a soft spot in the hopes it won’t be hurt.

Favorite character to write about:

Tony Stark, for sure. There are just a bunch of slightly different takes, and a lot of canon to work with (kind of frustrating too though). And I’m a sucker for emotionally damaged snarky traumatized characters that are viewed poorly both in universe and out.

Favorite kind of fic to write:

This year? Fluff and smut combined. Maybe that’s not the right term really. I keep looking for and writing, even in the angstiest fics, for those soft moments. Sure, maybe it’s a super smutty kink scene, but I want the affection to be obvious. Maybe everyone is consumed by guilt, but I want it to be based in caring too much. Maybe there’s no real love, just sex and even that’s messed up, but I want to find that tiny bit of fondness.

And I want happy endings. Or endings that look like they’re going to be happy, at least, even if there’s all the angst first. I don’t think I’ve killed anyone this year? Who AM I?

Biggest disappointment:

Not finishing the rough draft of Gotcha. I was making such good progress in 2019, from August to December. Even after the move, I basically finished part 6 in January. I fumbled around and fussed with 1 a lot, but that had already been given one draft, really, and I got through half of 4 before I slowed to a stop. I’ve barely gotten anything accomplished on it since June. Bits and pieces here and there, but nothing significant, not like I was doing. I can excuse October, due to 80k invested in Kinktober (yikes!), but aside from that… I’m sad. I’ll finish it eventually, but I really thought I could have the first draft done in a year. I’m sitting at about 480k out of what I’m almost certain will be 700k.

Biggest surprise:

Kinktober! It was kind of spur of the moment, decided just a week in advance. I’ve tried month long or even like, 20-25 day long challenges and I don’t think I’ve ever completed one. I thought there was a good chance I’d do so again, so I gave myself a little help and made my own list of prompts, things I knew I liked and hadn’t done much of yet. And it worked? I actually completed it, what the hell? Despite spending five days travelling near the end! Despite falling behind in getting ahead and writing a bunch of stories the day they were to be posted! Despite apparently forgetting how to do short form!

I, uh, could have done without the spawning of eleven series or sequels or continuations jfc WHY SELF.

Something you learned this year:

Ideas breed ideas. I swear to god, the second I sit down to think through a current idea, I wake up the next morning with three more.

Words need to be restocked. I need to consume new - not rereads, not fic - content every so often to refresh my word bank. It is astonishing how quickly writing goes again after I’ve done so.

I can write so much more than I thought I could. I can do so much more than I thought I could. Yes, I can complete challenges without dropping out early. Yes, I can do exchanges and not regret it. Yes, I can write more than 100k, more than 200k, more and more - and I can write 10k+ easily too. Though I wouldn’t mind if I could once again write less than 10k without feeling like I’ve cut off in the middle.

My time is shrinking, and if I want to write as much, I’m going to have to make the time. I can’t rely on three days off a week, on seven hours of uninterrupted overnight shifts, on hyper focused writing binges that leave everything else around me on fire.

Most memorable comment:

So, so many! I can’t pick one. I’ve been really lucky to get a bunch of really detailed, enthusiastic, analyzing comments across all different fics. One of the types that always sticks with me are the ones like ‘I didn’t think/know I liked this ship/kink/twist, but fuck, apparently I do? You made me, what the hell?’.

What, if anything, are you going to try to do differently in your writing in the new year?

So with writing Gotcha but not posting until it’s done, my view of what I’ve written vs anyone else’s is extremely skewed. I’m sitting here thinking, hey I’m 400k in and got another 10k done today, so much writing! While anyone looking at my AO3 account (for most of the year) is like, you’re averaging three months between fics :(

All that to say I want to try and get something posted more frequently while I’m working on Gotcha.

Also, writing for kinktober was really interesting - pushing myself to write every single day, often for that day’s post, forced me to get back into shorter form fic. Which used to be all I did? But it was surprisingly hard to just stop and not write more. So I’d like to challenge myself to write more fics under 10k at least. Maybe even under 5k though that might be asking a lot lol. I might get there with the many continuations of those fics I’d like to do. Does that count?

Goals:

I want to hit 365 fics. :) I’m only 32 away!

Aside from writing -

I’ve really enjoyed the reading record sideblog I started this year. I’ve let it lapse a little the past month or so, but I’d like to keep it going strong.

I’d like to leave a lot more comments. I want to get better about allowing imperfection - I want to write The Best Comment, but in the end? Probably 90% of fic writers are going to be happier with a comment expressing enjoyment in any way over no comment at all.

And not just on fics, but on general posts as well. It’s hard not to feel… weird and stupid and invasive and rude leaving any sort of comment on someone’s post if I don’t know them at least a little. I have godawful rejection sensitive dysphoria and a lot of interactions that ended poorly; I’m really not good at people. But as dumb as it feels to say those things, I know I am thrilled and warmed and happier when there’s a reblog with tags or a note or a comment or an ask or just, any small interaction that shows someone out there notices and cares, at least a little. There’s no reason I can’t at least try to offer that to other people.

I’d like to make/run a couple challenges of my own, later in the year. I’m still figuring out what I want to do and what I could do. I’m really interested in doing something that’s not focused on creators, but the readers; some sort of comment or rec challenge maybe.

I want to find a cheerleader for Gotcha. I’m struggling to keep up my motivation to write it when it’s already in my head, where I can ‘read’ it any time. There’s a line between depending too much on external validation and trying to generate all your validation yourself, and I’m getting to a point where I think I need to ask for help (gasp! The hardest thing EVER).

(Part Two: Pick Some Fics)

#end of year #unsettled rambles

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nagichi-boop · 4 years

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AAA Hi! You're such a cutie! May I please have a match up? Girl, Pan, 5'10, brown hair&eyes, Scorpio, I tend to intimidate people without trying but I’m really just an awkward, anxious person with trust issues although I’m getting better and more confident overtime. I can be pretty blunt, honest and moody, if I have a problem with someone they know about it but I always give out compliments too. Always there to listen to people and give advice. I enjoy telling puns and chilling with friends.1/2

I love all sorts of art, nature, animals, video games, horror and supernatural things have always intrigued me. I enjoy humming/singing to music and drawing quietly in school I used to just fade out. I hate crowds and tend to stay close to people I’m with. I’m very affectionate when I get to know people but get flustered when it’s shown back. I like quality time with people even if it’s just sitting in silence, I enjoy being near them but I know to respect their space too! 2/3

I like people who are understanding, caring, they can be serious but have a good sense of humor! Can handle and help my moodiness and emotions rather then telling me just to calm down or forget about it. I like people that have a certain confidence/kindness to them! 3/3 (Sorry If this is a bit too much! Please take all the time you need! I look forward to seeing more of your posts.♥️)

Thanks for your request! Hope you enjoy! ^^

I'd ship you with...

Sugawara Koushi!

• Sugawara is the most patient and kindhearted cutie there is. Since he's used to being in an environment where people tend to seem intimidating at first glance, he's learned that people usually aren't as they seem.

• When he met you, he wasn't intimidated by you. In fact, he sort of casually disregarded it and sort of laughed any awkwardness off. (Not in a rude way, he just found your personality endearing and cute.)

• He was very patient with you. He was quite used to being around those with confidence issues. It didn't take him long to realise that he needed to be careful around you. He rly like you and he knew that making jokes (like the ones he used when Asahi was upset) would only make you more distant.

• The first time you made a blunt comment to someone (either him or someone else), he just stood there in a stunned silence for a second before laughing. He found your straight-to-the-point attitude brutally hilarious.

• He appreciates a good pun. He would sometimes pretend to be disappointed but you could tell he actually really enjoys it. He also sometimes retorted with a pun.

• You took a chance and opened up to him since you felt he was trustworthy. You half expected him to joke or mess around, but he simply smiled softly and listened.

• He would also open up to you about his feelings, though he always had a bittersweet smile on his face when he would laugh at his own problems. (He would also say stuff like "It's silly, isn't it?", to which you would bluntly tell him it wasn't silly and reassure him.)

• Eventually, the two of you started studying together. Though mostly at his house because he didn't feel comfortable going into a girl's room to study.

• While he didn't necessarily share your interests, he thought that your interest in them made you unique. Sometimes after your study sessions together, he'd ask about a new video game or movie to see if you'd played/watched it. You'd excitedly show him and he would smile patiently as he listened. He didn't understand it sometimes, but he secretly had a crush on you, so he loved seeing you excited about your hobbies and being open about them.

• Whenever you'd hum or sing in front of him, he would quietly smile at you. You are so serene when you do it, he can't help but feel happy. He was also mesmerised by your drawings. They're so good??

• He gradually saw you for more than just studying. You'd go out to watch movies, go shopping for video games or just hang out. He caught on to your disliking crowds very quickly, and so whenever you'd approach a crowded area, he would casually suggest going somewhere else. (Maybe saying something like "Oh, let's go over here, I wanna look at this!")

• He eventually couldn't tolerate being just friends. So, with a very serious expression on his face (because of nerves), he asked you out. You said "yes" (much to his surprise) and the two of you started dating.

• He asked if you wanted to meet the volleyball team and assured you that he'd make sure to keep the more excitable members at bay. You agreed, so he introduced you to the team. He told Daichi and Ennoshita beforehand to be his back up. Hinata and Nishinoya tried to run up to greet you, but Daichi stopped them. The team then did their best to introduce themselves calmly and make you feel comfortable. It was scary at first, but they soon made you feel at home.

• When it was just the two of you (watching movies, sitting on a bench in a quiet park, etc), Suga would wrap his arm around you and pull you in for a warm hug. On warmer days, he just causally held your hand. He partially did it to see your flustered face because you're cute.

• He really enjoys spending time with you, even if it's just sitting quietly and staring at the world. Surprisingly, the silence never made you nervous. You felt safe with Suga.

• Suga is definitely able to balance being serious and being funny. He's also really good at reading people - especially you - so he knows what sort of approach to take in any situation.

• He low-key goes feral if people tell you to just "calm down" or "get over" something. He's been to enough volleyball matches and tournaments to know that those words mean nothing. Whenever you get worked up, upset, etc, he is able to handle it in the right way. This could be taking you off to somewhere quiet, telling you to breath, drop-kicking someone - whatever you need.

• Sugawara is the kindest, funniest, most warm hearted people you've ever met. He's one of the only people you feel safe with, someone you trust and feel you can be honest and open with. You're feel so lucky to be dating him and he feels the same about you.

Anyways, I hope you liked your matchup!! 💞

(I promise I'm not matching everyone up with Karasuno boys on purpose, I- )

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu matchups #haikyuu x reader #sugawara koushi #sugawara x reader #nagichi matchups

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atamascolily · 4 years

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Avengers: Endgame review

TL;DR: This is not a terrible movie, especially given how many characters and story arcs the creators are juggling. That said, its success make its missteps all the more frustrating for me.

I like the opening scene, because it's so mundane. Instead of monsters and aliens and fighting, it's just a family picnic in the American Midwest. Even though it feels like Hollywood only knows one way to shoot family/domestic scenes, I like that Clint is teaching his daughter to shoot a bow instead of one of the boys.

I like how quickly the Snap happens, how silent and quiet it is. One minute, everything is fine, and then... Clint looks around and they are gone. He knows right away something is up. There's no place they could have gone. This scene is so short - less than three minutes out of a three hour movie - but the audience already sees where Clint is going next.

This scene also emphasizes how Rapture-like the Snap is - to the point where people online started calling it the Snapture. The film doesn't focus much on post-Snap life, but I'm sure religions would have a lot to say about this. In some ways, exploring life in this scared new world is more interesting to me than more predictable arc of getting it back...

I like Tony and Nebula playing paper football. How intense Nebula is, how into it she gets, how Tony lets her win. Wiki says those scenes were improvised and I approve. The message he leaves for Pepper with his helmet is pure Tony Stark--glib, audacious and yet charming all at once. I can’t decide whether I want to punch him or hug him for it. Maybe both.

I like that Captain Marvel's arrival is so angelic. She's glowing. It's a miracle. Was she sent to find him, or did she just stumble across the ship by chance? We never find out.

I like how the Avengers are able to locate Thanos, only to discover he's destroyed the stones. I like how using the stones has consequences: Thanos is able to use them, but at great personal and physical cost; it's nice foreshadowing for the end.

Thanos is so chill about dying; it makes me suspect he's got something up his sleeve, but apparently, he's okay with dying now that his Crazy Apocalyptic Death Cult has achieved its goal. He manages to break Nebula's heart even more before Thor murders him. It's hard to say who's more surprised in that moment: Thor or Nebula.

Time skip. There's only one real plot reason for a five-year gap, and that's so Tony Stark can have a kid and an excuse to be selfish that doesn't render him completely unsympathetic to the audience. Morgan is cute, and all, but I'm not a fan of what she represents, nor of the stock Hollywood way of portraying children. Tony lives in a log cabin in what is obviously Georgia, and doesn't use his wealth to fix the world or anything. Granted, he's got extreme PTSD, but he's chosen to become a hermit. I guess we should be glad he's not drinking, doing drugs, or screwing journalists, like he did in the first Iron Man movie.

Steve running the support group is poignant, especially since that was always Sam's gig. I wonder if it's his way of honoring Sam. Sob. Marvel claims the gay man in the support group is historic, but I can't help but note it's something that can be easily edited for release in China.

I have not seen the Ant-Man movies, but I like Scott Lang. He is an optimist who soldiers on despite the fact that he is the Butt Monkey of all the jokes. I like how he extricates himself from the storage locker--though the fact that the van is still in storage five years out speaks VOLUMES to how messed up the world is five years later.

I think Scott walks past his house first--then goes to the wall, then to his house and knocks on the door? Or is that just a random house in the background when he first asks the kid on the bike what's wrong? I don't know why the kid doesn't answer him, except to add an aura of mystery to the whole thing.

The stones on Crissy Field are intense. Scott running around in a panic is spot-on--and his confusion when his name is on there, and his relief that Cassie's isn't. He knocks on the door of his house and a now-teenaged daughter greets her father. Again, I'm not sure I buy how Hollywood portrays these kinds of reunions, but it's very moving.

I love Nat and her peanut butter sandwiches, her rapport with Steve. I love these two as friends and I also ship them, and nothing in this scene proves me wrong. I love that Nat is basically in charge of the world now, and that she's the one keeping everything running smoothly --even when, as Okoye puts it, some things like undersea earthquakes don't require any action on her part. I also like her hair - I wasn't a huge fan of her Infinity War look, so I'm glad she's gone back to long/red-dish hair again.

There's also the first stirrings of what Clint is up to, and while I don't like this subplot, I have to say it's set up very well. I can admire skillful plot devices even when I dislike their contents.

Scott showing up is priceless. I love his babbling to the security camera and Steve and Nat's reactions. Also, he drove the van all the way from California to wherever-the-hell-the-Avengers-Institute is located--I think it's supposed to be New York, but the filming location is a car headquarters in Georgia, so I think of it as Georgia.

I like that Bruce and the Hulk have come to an understanding. I wonder what Nat thinks about this. This movie makes it pretty clear Bruce is still into her, even though Nat isn't into him (and most of us are pretending that little subplot in Age of Ultron never happened).

Same with Thor. It hurts to see him so clearly stuck, but Korg is amazing, as always, even if he is an enabler. I don't know why Valkyrie hasn't kicked Thor's ass yet. Maybe she's too busy running things. I wonder if Valkyrie and Nat are talking. I bet they are. I bet they respect each other.

I also like how fanon says that noobmaster69 is really Loki trolling Thor via videogames. Otherwise, the idea of the God of Thunder threatening a teenager is terrible, not funny. It's much better for everyone if it's Loki.

I'm not sure how they get from quantum stuff to time travel, except Plot. I think it would have been less confusing if they'd called it traveling to parallel universes from the get-go, instead of time travel that happens to create parallel universes, because it doesn't act like the standard time travel narrative. There's some meta about this in the film, but I don't think that's enough to compensate. Anyway, timey-wimey-magic-science-plot ball.

Cut to Clint Barton murdering yakuza in Tokyo. I do not like anything about this scene, or Clint. Vigilante justice is not a healthy coping mechanism. Clint pulling back his mask in the rain while Natasha is behind him with an umbrella is beautiful, and I love it. I appreciate the callbacks to Clint reaching out to Natasha when she was brainwashed by the Russians, even though I don't like where this story arc is going.

I love that everyone finally puts their heads together and realizes that the Infinity Stones have all spent an improbably large amount of time on Earth in recent years.

You can hear the smile in Nat's voice when she says "Be right back," and my heart breaks because Oh, Irony.

Tilda Swinton as the Ancient One is a treat, even though I'm mad they whitewashed the character because China complained about making the character a Tibetan (as in the comics). I like how easily she is able to separate Bruce from the Hulk, and how Bruce just sighs and tries to negotiate. Strange giving up the Time Stone is one of the weirdest parts of the last movie, and I'm glad everyone else thinks so too.

(Also, Dr. Strange is in the middle of surgery while the Chitauri are attacking New York? WOW.)

The Captain America vs. Captain America fight is great fun, if painful to watch. Also, that callback to the Elevator scene in The Winter Soldier is great, as is watching all the secret!Hydra agents file in, and Scott says what we're all thinking: "How could you give the stone to them? They LOOK evil!"

Loki getting away with the Space Stone is a wild card, and I don't know what they're going to do with it. Going to Camp Lehigh in the '70s is great on a plot level: Tony gets a chance to chat with his father, and Steve gets more magic particles to further the rest of the plot. And they get the stone, too. Right.

Thor having one last conversation with his mother, oh my heart. Also, he stole his hammer from his past/other self... isn't that going to cause plot problems? Who cares, when we can have TWO flying hammer things in the final battle?

Peter Quill's internal monologue never looks as good from the outside. The directors seem to loath him as much as I do, meaning he is the other Butt Monkey of the party along with Scott. Rhody is genre-savvy and I approve; Nebula is an android and indifferent to personal danger.

The android bit makes things complicated when 2014!Nebula starts spilling bits of 2019!Nebula's memories. 2014!Thanos correctly identifies this as time-travelers from the future/parallel universes trying to prevent him from success. He gets to see the whole thing from 2019!Nebula's POV. I like that even though Thanos is dead in the main timeline/original universe, a different version of him rises up to take his place.

God, Clint and Natasha go to Vormir and it's terrible. Red Skull is appropriately creepy, but the whole premise pisses me off so much. Natasha and Clint fight about who gets to jump; Natasha "wins," causing Clint and everyone else much angst. I hated this in Infinity War, and I hate it even more now. I hate that the movie goes out of its way multiple times to explain there's no way to bring her back, even as it violates causality to replace Gamora. I hate that the only way to get the Soul Stone is to play the stupid game. There ought to be a way to beat it without sacrificing someone, and even if there isn't, why is it always the female characters who get sacrificed for manpain? I knew this was coming, so it wasn't as bad as it would have been otherwise, but I hate it. Hate it, hate it, hate it.

Anyway, so they all come back, and mourn Nat. Continuous emphasis on how she's gone forever. Fuck you all, writers.

Bruce snaps to bring everybody back. He can tolerate gamma radiation. I love the line "It's like I was made for this". Bruce, honey, you're a rock star.

Tony is so freakin' specific about "bring everybody back but don't erase the last five years" because he loves his baby girl so much and cant bear that he have to lose someone himself. All kinds of logistical problems are going to happen as a result, but does he care? No! It would have been just as easy--probably easier--to snap Thanos out of existence right before the Snapture, or to allow Thor to slice off Thanos's head in time. That would also create continuity issues, but I think it would be a Stable Time Loop--and honestly, there are already so many continuity issues, I'm not sure why that would stop the writers. Anyway, I think we can all agree it would have been better if there HADN'T BEEN A FIVE YEAR TIME SKIP and maybe like six months or something, that would have been more manageable for everyone.

(and also if just Thanos is dusted and not the stones, the stones would still exist, although maybe it's for the best that they've been destroyed??)

But evil!Nebula has infiltrated the group, and opens the time machine to bring 2014!Thanos forward right after Bruce's snap brings all the dusted back. How she does this, I'm not sure exactly; is it even explained? Whatever. Plot demands it, so she does. They get Pym particles from somewhere. I don't know.

Anyway, so the Georgia car headquarters is blown to smithereens by an alien spaceship. The lake starts falling into the crater. Clint has the gauntlet with all the stones and is chased by space wolves. Thank goodness he still has exploding arrows.

Good!Nebula manages to convince new!Gamora to betray Thanos (it doesn't take much, tbh), but has to kill her evil!self. Ow. Poor Nebula gets traumatized AGAIN.

Steve wielding Mjolnir is not only a continuation of a brick joke from several movies ago, but also a Crowning Moment of Awesome. So is Dr. Strange opening the portals for everyone to show up and fight. Huge CGI battle ensures. There's no blood and everything's a mess and it's hard to keep track of everything, but man, those Chitauri bone-whale spaceships are cool. Carol Danvers knows how to make an entrance. Peter Parker is awkward and endearing, as per usual. Instant Kill Mode gets a workout.

Wanda attacking Thanos is heartbreaking. "I don't know you." "You took everything from me." HEY TONY, UNDOING THE SNAP THE WAY YOU INSISTED THEY DO IT MEANS VISION IS NEVER COMING BACK! Poor Wanda. I liked Vision. I'm sorry he's gone.

Thanos’s remark that next time he’ll make it so nobody remembers the horror of the Snap and they’ll be grateful to him and stop fighting it is truly horrifying. The Thanos in the first part seemed really resigned to dying, and it’s such a contrast. Thanos is right, of course--he would have gotten away with it “if it weren’t for those meddling kids” and the best way to prevent that is to re-write the universe to Make It So.

Thanos is such a smug, priveleged dudebro. Have I mentioned I hate him? I fucking hate him. He’s like the epitome of Smug Male Privilege crossed with Galactic Warlord. In some ways he’s the galactic foil to Tony Stark, which makes it all the more fitting that Stark is the one to take him down. Thanos is willing to sacrifice his loved ones for his vision of reality, and Tony fights to preserve them, even when it would be “better” not to. (I put “better” in quotes because I freely admit it’s a moral grey area with the whole “five year time skip” thing.) Stark starts off alone, and then dies surrounded by friends and loved ones; Thanos starts off with an army and a family and dies defeated and alone, twice over.

Stephen Strange holding back the waterfall--and gesturing to Tony across the battlefield--both great. "If I tell you, it won't happen." Anti-self-fullfilling prophecy, which amuses me. When all hope is lost, Tony reveals he has the stones and delivers the ultimate one-line--"I am Iron Man" before he snaps. Tony could have snapped for <i>anything</i>, he had ultimate power in that moment, but all he does is turn Thanos and his army into dust. Of course, Thanos is the last one to go, because it's more Dramatic that way.

Tony dies. Pepper gently but firmly pushes Peter out of the way. Peter Quill meets Gamora and Gamora kicks him in the nuts, unimpressed. I know she and Quill will probably get back together in later movies and it will annoy me then just as much as it did before, because he's so much cooler than he is. I had to stop watching the first GotG film because of all the ass shots of Gamora; ugh.

Everyone is appropriately sad and Tony's funeral at the Georgia lakehouse is very well attended in neatly thematic groupings. Nick Fury watches from the porch.

Have I mentioned how much I hate the "posthumous letter from emotionally constipated father figure that makes the audience and his loved ones cry, but which absolves him from any actual emotional development or growth" trope? It happens in the Stranger Things S3 finale and it happens here. Thanks, I hate it. Morgan Stark is cute and sad. God, Happy annoys me so much. I've hated him ever since he was so fucking condescending to "Natalie Rushman"--Natasha's alter ego in Iron Man 2. GOD. There is no justice here.

Steve volunteers to fulfill Bruce's promise to the Ancient One by returning all the stones. (It’s sweet how earnest Bruce is about this. I mean, Bruce has always cared about preserving the universe, even ones he doesn’t necessarily live in, but still. I find it endearing.) The movie doesn't say, but judging from the looks that Bucky and Steve give each other before Steve leaves, Bucky already knows what Steve is planning - to go the long way home and to give the shield to Sam. Bucky also knows where to look for Steve - on the bench by the lake. Still in Georgia; they got lots of tax credits for filming in Georgia, I will never be able to see this place as anywhere but Georgia.

Sam taking the shield breaks my heart, but in a good way. Nice set up for Falcon and Winter Soldier, I see what you did there, Disney.

The movie did an okay job of reminding people that Peggy existed by having Steve gaze longingly at her portrait in the locket and by staring at her through the window when he was at Camp Lehigh in the 1970s. Still, I don't blame fans for forgetting about her, given that she hasn't been a major character since The First Avenger, and died in Civil War. Both Bucky/Steve and Steve/Nat interactions are fresher in audience's minds - even Steve/Agent 13, although I guess that was just a side plot that didn't go anywhere.

Steve staying on through time the long way would make a LOT more sense if the time travel in this film worked like other time travel movies, but it's not, so it's just kind of weird. Literally, if it weren't for this ONE THING, I think the writers could have gotten away with "parallel universes" instead of time travel--especially since there's a 2014!version of Gamora around! How did Thanos do the snap the first time if his 2014!self jumped forward to 2019 and got killed there "before" he did the snap? It makes NO SENSE unless you assume the Quantum Realm takes you to identical-but-parallel universes instead of the past of the original universe.

(Yes, I KNOW Bruce says time travel doesn't work like you think it does--but I'm not sure it works the way this MOVIE thinks it does, either. Like I said, parallel universes all the way, except for the Steve 'n' Peggy bit.)

Also, I know Peggy gets married, but we never learn her husband’s name/see his face as far as I know, so it’s entirely possible Steve DID create a stable time loop by traveling back to the 1940s after his ship went down in the ice, and married Peggy and stayed out of the historical record to avoid Breaking Time any further.

So, while I can't say Steve's decision to go back for that dance wasn't foreshadowed enough, or is inconsistent with one version of his character arc, it pains me from a shipping perspective. I like Steve/Peggy, but I really love Steve/Nat, and there's no reason Steve couldn't have gone back in time and gotten together with Nat in the same way it's implied he got together with Peggy. The fact that he doesn't mention her name just makes it easier for my shipper heart to believe. (Because if he says Nat, Sam's going to make fun of him.)

Also: Steve meets Red Skull on Vormir. Please. I know there are fics about this, but still. I know the movie is three hours long, but this seems like a terrible omission, even so. Just saying. Maybe a special extra bonus scene??

AND WHY CAN'T STEVE BRING NAT BACK IF HE RETURNS THE SOUL STONE?? Over and over again, they say "A soul for a soul"-- so if Steve returns the Soul Stone he should get a soul back, am I right, am I right? COULD YOU FUCKING BE CONSISTENT, WRITERS?

(Can you tell I'm bitter? No? No? Let me shout some more then.)

I’m also not sure how the super-soldier serum works with aging, but I’m willing to buy that it doesn’t make Steve immune to normal aging - or at least gave him a lifespan twice that of most people, unless you want to chalk the first fifty years or so up to the ice or whatever. But that’s a minor world-building quibble at best.

Okay, so that was Avengers: Endgame. Glad I didn't see this in theaters -- I would have gotten too angry and too long for me to watch in one sitting without having to get up to pee. I think I would describe it as "adequate" --covered all the major beats, followed the standard scriptwriter format, some fun character moments. Very Obviously Written By Men based on its portrayal of family life and treatment of female characters, and the time travel makes no sense if you look closely at it.

But let's face it, it made bajillions of dollars, so as far as Disney's concerned, it was a home run.

So would I watch more Marvel films? The answer is, yes, maybe, but I feel so "meh" about the MCU now that Nat is dead. I'll make decisions on a case by case basis about what movies I watch on DVD after their release, but I'm not getting my hopes up I'll feel excited. There's always fic and fandom; I just don't know if canon has anything to say that interests me anymore. (Kinda how I feel about new Star Wars to be honest.)

#mcu #Avengers #avengers: endgame #Movie Reviews #WHY DISNEY WHY #natasha romanoff deserved better

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ajebjorkman-blog · 5 years

Text

The Long Cold Open to Socialism or Barbarism... or Party Space Alpha

Recently, I bumped into a few of those unfortunate zombies propelled into mindless shuffling by the absolute horror of the hollow center; and, if it’s the case that the concept of the hollow center draws a blank—the dank whiteness of the silver screen before some Clint Eastwood shooting-gun-male-sociopath-revenge-drama—try to imagine a vast pit of waste, much like the overarching metaphor of Don DeLillo’s mind-numbingly boring Underworld. All in all, though, and to cut my tendency toward preciousness to at best shorter, the hollow center is cra(aa)p—the hollow center is a space endlessly differentiated and endlessly atomizing and endlessly unfeeling, and as is the case with the very idea of all things endless (whatever that may mean), time and history stops to matter, specifically history. The end of history has already happened, though, with the fall of the Soviet Union—at least according to Frances Fukuyama. He’s still alive, right?

Or, or…

or think of the hollow center like this: it’s the forever-noon party—or whatever time of day the elderly booze up and kick down—of Hypercharged Capital held at Party Space Alpha.

Ayn Rand, Milton Friedman and Friedrich Hayek are adored keynote speakers, brought back from the dead by scientism-magic to white-counter the supposed browning of the world, or, as some religious zealots opine, the existential threat of the tainting of the world.

Rand says, “The worst guilt is to accept an unearned guilt.”

The crowd cheers and chants, “Galt! Who the fuck is Galt!!?”

Friedman says, “Shock, shock, shock!”

The crowd cheers and chants, though quizzingly, “Who is Galt?”

Hayek says something about force from afar as a corrective while the crowd tries to find the one voice who said, “Galt is Atlas, no? Greek stuff, I think.”

After speeches and rants, lobotomized servants serve finger food from gold platters, and Ted Nugent takes the stage, humps his guitar and sings about pedophilia and freedom.

And look at those skeletons shuffle and jig, some pumping their fists and whiplashing their necks.

Joy and sanity, re-enter my world. You enter Party Space Alpha, try to get a feel for the place, and you think:

So this is where I’ve come to.

You mingle...and look, there’s one of those Zoomer-influencers you’ve heard about, always be gramming.

“What I’m trying to do, see,” the Zoomer-influencer says, “is to make jokes about race and fucking and such, you know, make them great again, hint, hint.” (Yes, he says hint, hint out loud-) Also, ”That dead man hanging. Sad, very sad. I already said I’m sorry, ok!” He storms off, leaving you to think about things when a hand, moist, so moist, graces your shoulder.

You turn around. A somewhat cross-eyed dude—on closer inspection, however, he’s not cross-eyed, just dead-eyed—speaks to you in an affected, puppet-like voice, like his vocal chords are somehow placed inside his Adam’s apple.

The dead-eyed dude with weird Adam’s apple-voice says, “Want to discuss ideas?”

You nod. You’re already here, you think, so why not. You throw a few ideas up for consideration and deliberation: Socialized housing and healthcare, that’d be a good start, you think, after which you mention structures of oppression and that they’re crap; you mention essentialism, the idea of Spinozian substances and God-given grace and soul and pineal gland homunculus’ puppetry and phrenology and sociobiology and Steven Pinker, and how these fucked up descriptive statements prescribe fucked up social agendas; you skip from Hume (you can’t experience causality, am I right) to Kant (Let’s critique pure reason, am I right) through Hegel (History isn’t purely spiritual, am I right) to Marx. Also, because why not, and it’s not really and ad hominem, you mention that it would be quite funny to create a Japanese game show where libertarians, fascists, conservatives, and dangerously daft liberals are mildly tortured for the prize of cool trinkets.

The dead-eyed dude nods, furrows his brow and smacks his tongue—a hint of anxiousness, like eels speeding his dead eye-water, momentarily turns him somewhat human. He says:

“I see. But you see, I want to discuss high-level ideas, like do you have an iPhone? If so, you’re no oppressed.”

You leave because the dead-eyed weird dude was about to have a stroke, or so it seemed, ranting about oppression O(h)lympics and whatever else.

From the corner of the vast space, a dwarfed dude with a boyish bowl-cut speedily espouses that facts don’t care about your emotions and that the labor theory of value is anachronistic balderdash. He espouses this to a party-fun-house-mirror, in training for debate-destroying. To his right, arms crossed, stands a gang of clean-shaven dudes. They all wear Fred Perry- shirts. They’re all sweaty, and their sweat forms a cloud, and the cloud spells: We Are Disenfranchised Also, Blue Lives Matter. Also, one of the dudes holds a katana. Lord knows why. Another dead-eyed dude-bro-boy close by—there’s so many of them, more or less affective, this one like a flat line—explains that the Lord is dead, which, sure, you think, sounds like a shame.

In a dull monotone, the Flatliner continues:

“The hadith… the muslem or Mos-Lem religion, Islam—that explains the katana. It’s a necessary precaution to ward off the onslaught—and don’t take me out of context, please, I’m only ideating like Socrates in the, eh, in the Atheneum.

“What onslaught?” you ask.

“It’s a moral priority to honestly and openly assess the geopolitical and, eh, moral consequences of the actual content of the Quran, and, eh… so, turning a blind eye to, eh, to statistically significant increases in, eh, rape and… so rape and terror, yes terror—that’s not only morally ambiguous, it’s morally vacuous, and my contention and intention as a civil Western…”

“Sorry to interrupt, but I do wonder what you think about this, Mr. Flatline: Socrates was deemed dangerous and such, right, and he was killed by the state for riling up the hoi polloi, for advancing critical thinking and debate. He was force-fed that killing drink, right, the one that killed him off in increments from feet to head. So, as a latter-day Socrates, will you help me understand if there is an analogy between being forced to drink the killing drink and, how should I phrase it—being coerced to drink the Kool-Aid, in that both drinks literally kills off something? I know it’s somewhat heady and not entirely coherent, but you know, nothing is entirely coherent. Contradictions and that.”

“Well, this is typical muddying of the water…”

“Or muddying the fluid? Kool-Aid, killing drink, Kool-Aid, killing drink…”

“Woo-woo. If you look at the end of my first book, in the last footnote of the epilogue, I clearly refer to a footnote in a blog post about this subject, and that footnote, if only you’d just read it—it clearly refers to what I said in my podcast some year or so ago, so.”

You leave, not daring to continue what already initially was a torturous exchange. You start to feel heavy and kind of fragmented at the same time. Weird.

Somewhere else in Part Space Alpha an orange blob in diapers eats hamburgers and ribs and chocolate and wipes the drooping and drooping corners of his mouth with the flag of Palestine while a hunched over assistant takes notes:

NEED TO BUY MORE FOOD FOR LEADER. (It’s so Alpha to capitalize notes.)

Someone fires a gun into the air and laughs amidst applause. Such a nice gun! The orange blob stops munching and laughs without it sounding like laughter. He just opens his mouth and shows his teeth. He says:

“My guy. Give him a tank.” He realizes, shouts: “Where’s my African American!”

No one responds or arrives. There’s few to no black or brown people in Party Space Alpha; also, quite a few women dare venture into Party Space Alpha, because… Party Space Alpha.

Hunched over one of the few women present, Slender Man in a fedora and a pinstriped suit berates and gestures and cries a little:

“The absence of women in Party Space Alpha forms the materiality of the legitimacy of the perceived subordination of those young men to whom the existential and the individual necessity of sexual intercourse is denied. If only these young men were allowed to slap and slap happily, there’d be mental equilibrium.”

Enough.

You exit by the back door unto the Wasteland, your only refuge from the constant violence of Party Space Alpha; and you’re not feeling morally vacuous for being ok with the idea of this vast space somehow eating itself to death. So, Party Space Alpha is the hollow center. It WILL fuck you up.

#leftisbest #socialism #nonfiction #creative nonfiction #aje #party space alpha leftism lumpen dave rubin ben shapiro jordan peterson sam harris fuck trump

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jihoonslattee · 7 years

Text

Tumblr User! Ong Seongwoo

[credit to each pic owner!]

ok so i was just eating some filipino food at a restuarant when my mind was like “YO YKNOW I WONDER WHAT WANNA ONE WAS PPL ON TUMBLR WOULD BE LIKE” so here i am BSJXNS [this is literally not proofread tbh everything i write isn’t proof read im so sorry DHFKD]

~~~~

his username would be

ongtheslate95

95 being the yr he was born in

so he’s probably one of those aesthetic tumblrs that posts aesthetic photos that everyone loves

like he’ll post aesthetic photos of him posing at places that look so nice and stuff

honestly his photos were so pleasing that they actually ended up being used in a lot of places

also being used without credit but tbh ong didn’t mind, as long as he got recognition for his photos and his artistic style through being aesthetic he was happy!

so you also happened to be an aesthetic blog, people also admired you

you didn’t really take pictures of yourself mostly of places that looked aesthetic.

and you followed ong because wow he was handsome and wow his photos were so nice like pls teach me ???

the downside to his fantastic blog was

memes

literally the memes he reblogs onto it

it didn’t bother you at first, but it started bothering you when his blog at times was just flooded with memes

like it was one thing to reblog other aesthetic blogs and like some memes but it was getting to you

like the stuff he reblogged was just weird like

there would be a meme of someone cleaning but then someone coming in ruining it and then he would tag it

“this is literally minhyun and jaehwan rip”

or like something really weird and be like

“THIS REMINDS ME OF DAEHWI’S AND JINYOUNG’S RELATIONSHIP I SOB”

so like once you were fed up you messaged him like

“hey ong the slate, i understand you find great memes you wanna share but i hope you know that ppl mainly follow your account for the aesthetics!”

he replied like one second after which had you shooketh

“ahh i see, i mean i like sharing what i think it funny with the people that follow me!”

so here starts a full blown convo

“you could make a side blog for just reblogging random things and tell your followers!”

“oh is that a good idea?”

“yeah ofc i have a side blog myself where i reblog a ton of stuff i like, it doesn’t have like a ton of followers but it’s the thought that counts

“whats your side blog name?”

“uh i’d rather not say it’s weird”

anyways after that convo low and behold ong made his own mf side blog called

theslatememes

you secretly followed it on your side blog because even though you didn’t like the memes on his aesthetic blog, the stuff he was reblogging was pretty funny

anyways one day at the college that you attend you notice that someone is taking photos near the cherry blossom trees.

walking closer you notice that it’s ong

ong the slate

and you mentally freak out because tf you didn’t know he live this close and 2 he looked hella fine in person

“daniel no! I asked you to take it in this position, this is important!”

“chill seongwoo, art takes time”

you casually walk up to seongwoo and daniel

“are you ong the slate on tumblr?”

and he just freezes up like

“shit i’ve been spotted”

so he just laughs it off and steps away from the tree awkwardly while daniel is over to the side low key trying not to laugh his ass off

“y-yeah! i actually go to this college, do you?”

“yeah! i’ve been following your blog for a while and i love the photos you post, i also like your side blog”

his eyes light up and he literally almost grabs your hands in excitement but then realizes yall are still strangers

“what’s your blog name? i’ll follow you back!”

and then this is where you realize

“oh shit, i fucked up”

you just kind of awkwardly laugh and just start to back away like

“well it was nice meeting you! i hope you see you around!”

while you scurry off though seongwoo just smiles to himself

“whats up ong?”

“usually when people spot me in public which is rare they just say ‘hey aren’t you that ong handsome guy that takes nice photos on tumblr?’ and the only person who really has directly called me ong the slate was this one girl on tumblr who told me i should make a side blog”

daniel literally started laughing which made ong confused like

ong literally turned around and gave daniel the “wtf are you laughing at face”

“you are literally loosely piecing together facts, are you sure you aren’t thinking that way because you want to meet that girl in person?”

he wiggled his eyebrows a little and seongwoo scoffed,

“shut up daniel let’s go back to taking pictures.”

later that day your phone pinged signaling that you had a notification from tumblr

“hey! I know we haven’t talked since you like criticized my account! how are you”

“oh also your new photos on your account are so aesthetic”

you slightly smiled seeing the second message but when you read the first one he sent you got a little salty

“OK FIRST OFF i didn’t criticize your account, i was just suggesting something to improve your account”

“what ever you say but anyways what’s your name and how are you?”

“ok fine well i’m Y/N which is a pretty common name BUT i’m doing fine, just working on some homework.”

“HMMM you go to college?”

“no i go to english language school”

“oh”

“no yes it’s for college”

“HAH ok bye!”

you were so confused like why talk to you for like three minutes then leave after getting some info about you?

the next day while walking down the part of your college with the cherry blossom trees you hear someone call out your name

“Y/N!”

you froze in your spot and turned around slightly, you spotted Seongwoo RUSHING towards you with a huge smile on his face

ABORT

you started walking equally as fast because who cares about your class now you wanted to escape from possible embarrassment

“uh WAIT Y/N I JUST WANNA TALK”

“THERE’S NOTHING TO TALK ABOUT”

“YES THERE IS”

so now here you are sipping on a hot chocolate in a cafe with seongwoo just giving you a mischievous smirk

“what a coincidence! I didn’t know you went to me college!”

“i don’t even know how you thought i was the person that talked to you on your tumblr”

“you see i watch all these detective shows and sometimes even the weirdest facts fit together!”

you were literally blown away

“anyways,”

Seongwoo took out his phone and after tapping on it a little he placed it in front of you

“so i was wondering if you would take a look at the photos i have, i was planning on posting them but yknow daniel isn’t rlly a good helper”

you simply just nodded and looked over the photos while scrolling you realized that over half of them were memes which caught ong’s attention and made him flustered

“AGH i forgot to put it to my folder full of aesthetic photos!”

he snatched the phone away and then placed it in front of you again

“i see you’re more of a meme person huh?”

“just look at the photos”

so you scrolled some more and a lot of them were really nice but some of them had bad angles.

you causally changed to the camera on his phone and pointed it at him

“uh what are you doing?”

“just pose or something”

following what you said he sat up straight and did one of those aesthetic poses (ok so like just try to imagine one bc i cant DFHJKD)

you positioned yourself in a way where it looked super nice and took the photo, changed the filter and handed the phone back to him

“i think daniel needs a little more training”

he just laughed and instead of laughing with him your mind was like

“wow he has a cute laugh”

but before you could even like second guess that thought of yours seongwoo asked you something

“hey do you wanna like collab together? like you take my photos and i can help you with something? Daniel keeps on doing the same shots over and over again and i wanna have something new which you provide me with!”

“as long as you don’t take up a lot of my time sure”

this obviously made seongwoo’s smile grow large and he just took your hands in his which made you surprised and flustered

oh and your face turned a bit red too

“this is great! Hopefully we work well together”

time skipp because this is starting to get a bit long

“so seongwoo what do you think of this place?”

it was a simple abandoned train station that had been painted pink (think of bp’s aityl train station that was pink) and since he was wearing pink you thought it would be a perfect idea to take a couple of photos of him there!

before you turned you head to look at him you heard a quiet snap of a camera and saw seongwoo holding the polaroid camera

“ugh seongwoo what did i tell you? Don’t waste the film on taking pictures of the scenery, we gotta use it for you!”

he just waved you off and smiled while taking the new photo that had come out and stuffed it into his pocket.

while you were taking photos of him he stopped posing

“what’s wrong?”

“don’t you ever wanna take pictures of yourself? like and post aesthetic photos of you? i’m sure people would love that”

you shrugged and placed the camera into your bag

“i mean i’ve never really had the confidence for it, when i tried it just looked a little i don’t know, tacky?”

seongwoo nodded and then started muttering something underneath his breath

“all the photos i have of you don’t look tacky though”

“what?”

“i was just saying how it probably looks tacky but aesthetic!”

you laughed and just hit seongwoo on the shoulder”

“shut up your always look so nice”

“that’s because you’re taking them”

“alright alright true now lets go back to taking photos of you”

____

once the photoshoot was done and you arrived home you started receiving a bunch of notifications from your friends

you picked up your phone and took a glance at it while skimming over your notes for you test tomorrow

“WAIT WHAT”

you literally dropped your phone

“HEY Y/N WHY ARE THERE PHOTOS OF YOU ON ONGTHESLATES TUMBLR?? AND THEY LOOK HELLA AESTHETIC PLZ EXPLAIN”

going on tumblr you looked at seongwoo’s posts and noticed that it was the truth

he had posted a bunch of polaroids of you, including the one he took at the train station today that you assumed was only of the scenery

“istg when i see him again i’ll make sure to expose-”

mid way of trying to think of ways to get back at him your heart stopped beating at the caption he had put

“she thinks photos of her are tacky but all the photos i have of her taken over all the time we’ve spent together say otherwise right?”

you clicked on the notes on the post, which seemed like they were going up little bit by bit and saw what people had said

“is this your girlfriend O.O”

“she’s so pretty! tell her to start her own aesthetics blog!”

“you guys should become a couple aesthetics blog, that would be so cute~”

you could feel your face going red as you brought your face to your cheeks

“ugh ong seongwoo what are you doing?”

you had to admit it was a little sweet but it just made you feel a certain way that you didn’t want to feel

you still high key wanted to expose him

SO THE NEXT DAY you started walking over to your usual meet up spot when daniel all of a sudden started walking next to you

“lets go a different route this time!”

he started pushing you in another direction

while you were questioning where he was taking you, you noticed a bunch of photos on the ground that looked like familiar places to you

at this point while you were admiring the photos daniel had left you to jus wonder what they were for

so like what people do in the movies you started following the trail of photos while picking them up

which led you to a gazebo which you didn’t even know existed at your college

the trail also led you to ong, who had his back turned towards you.

“alright ong i don’t think turning your back towards me is going to make me not see you”

you laughed softly and you could hear him chuckle a little too

so he slowly turned around

and by slowly i mean like you wanted to go up to him and turn him around fully yourself

but when he did though, you gasped

actually gasped like not enough to put your hands to your mouth though

“ong what is that?!”

your face instantly lit up and you reached your hand towards a bouquet that had all these aesthetic photos of your and seongwoo

(try to imagine it i literally cannot explain it SHKD)

“I wanted to surprise you, i know we haven’t known each other long but i would love to start a blog together and with that blog start a nice beautiful relationship between the two of us?”

you smiled and took the bouquet out of his hands

“that was super cheesy but I guess i’m not against it, i would love to take aesthetic photos with you while also being a cute couple while we’re at it”

seongwoo’s face lit up

like you know when he smiles so big that it’s literally blinding,

that kind of lit up

he instantly picked you up and spun you around making you both laugh in the process

“gosh Y/N you are like the prince to my charming”

“that literally did not make sense”

he set you down and just gave you this teasing stare

“but you like me anyways rightt?”

he smiled at you and you couldn’t help but smile back

“of course i do”

before ong could respond daniel literally burst in and ruined the moment

“ALRIGHT LOVE BIRDS SEONGWOO PROMISED ME SOME BBQ IF THIS SUCCEEDED LETS GO EAT SOME”

daniel then proceeded to grab both of your arms and drag you towards the nearby place

“also count this as your kind of first date!”

seongwoo scoffed

“first date with a third wheeler?”

now it was daniel’s turn to scoff and they both continued to bicker while walking the whole way to the place.

even though you weren’t really tuning into their conversation, you kept on the looking at each of the photos of both you and seongwoo and couldn’t help but think about how great and sweet seongwoo is

even though he teased you and also exposed you

you start to get really excited about the future with him, and also probably daniel since they stick to each other like glue

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livefastdiepretty723 · 6 years

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Our server can’t handle a paragraph that long... the tumblr app blows 🙄🙄 I always end up on my phones browser since I type my long posts up in notes... fix it!

I feel like I am I up and then down a lot lately. The ups seem like they last for a moment when it’s a day or two maximum. The downs drag out for days or weeks. It’s like I’m scared to be happy. Hell I admit I am kind of scared to be happy but I don’t go around trying to sabotage myself nor do I believe that you can be happy one hundred percent of the time. I’ve also felt like lately my anxiety has shot through the roof for no reason at all. I don’t know what’s triggering it so I can’t really work to eliminate those triggers or talk about it. I feel like I’m speeding towards a brick wall at full speed with no brakes when it hits because I have no solution to prevent it. I get anxiety in situations I shouldn’t like around friends or Nicholas. Those are people I feel like anxiety should be the farthest thing from my mind. Unless I’m talking about something from another part of my day or week in which case I could see it spiking back up. But the other day, I have no rhyme or reason as to why I completely broke down with Nick. 9 times out of 10 I’m the happiest when I’m with him. That one out of ten is when he’s being frustrating or I’m just tired and over the day. I wanna talk to him but at the same time I’m scared. I hate being vulnerable or feeling as if I’m being forced to talk about my feelings. I wish I could talk to him as freely as I did Cole back in college. I miss Cole so much but I wasn’t the one that decided to cut me out of their life. I know I’m mad at myself for gaining all that weight I lost back. But I have no motivation and I’m always tired. Two weeks ago I feel asleep mid-conversation with nick that isn’t me. I felt bad for doing that, and I was more exhausted yesterday from walking my ass off than I would have been from work. I feel like I get more hungry and tired from just sitting on my ass all day at work than I do working my retail job where I can move a lot a lot more. How does that even make sense it frustrates me. I feel like I get frustrated or upset too easily sometimes. For example I got upset (well it hurt my feelings...) when nick deleted all these random selfies I took on his phone. I did it to be funny, and I’d love if he ever did that but I won’t hold my breath since he hates pictures which bugs me. But you couldn’t have kept at least one? Was it a line that you fed me when you told me I looked pretty Friday night when I had to point out I only had mascara on? Yes that’s where my mind goes when I think about why he deleted them. I think the world of him, and I don’t know if he thinks the same about me. I know I can be overly affectionate or not affectionate at all. I think part of that stems from me being told by an ex that I was too affectionate. Now I think I associate that with clingy. But as I type this I wonder if I need to be closer to the clingy side than I am now? Because I don’t have to be all in his business twenty four seven nor do I care if he’s got friends and family to spend time with. But what I do have issues with is when I feel like the second choice or I’m being annoying. I also hate when I feel like I can’t spend time with but he’s got time to all kinds of stuff with friends during the week. I do wanna see him and spend more time with him than I do. I wish we could text more than we do. I won’t complain that we have evolved into talking almost nightly. I hate talking on the phone but I do it since he’d rather do that. It hurt my feelings that I thought I’d found a solution to our dinner debate and him always picking where with the “cup of grub” idea. Which got shot down real quick and followed by a “sorry”. To which I really wanted to be like are you really?!?! 🙄 And trying to find a movie to watch is even worse. He usually always picks and I usually have no desire to watch. The one time I could take advantage of picking I didn’t care and he got frustrated. And I finally did and I watched maybe five minutes before I knocked out. I get there’s a bajillion choices between on demand, Netflix and amazon but when you wiz through them and only stop on stuff you wanna watch and I don’t have my glasses or contacts it takes me a minute to focus. I like scary movies and I wish he’d watch them with me... hell half the time my chicken self would be buried in his shoulder. He’s watched the shining, that’s gotta be pretty creepy it’s STEVEN FRICKIN KING. I haven’t seen that. What even. Sometimes I’d rather not watch anything I’d rather just spend time together or play a game. Sitting here now I wonder if I just let these little things add up and then it just erupts inside of me. Because it’s the picture thing, the dinner debate fix nix, the movie thing and then as I think the fact that from my stand point it’s almost as if I don’t exist to anyone in his life other than his mom. Everyone in my life knows of him in some capacity. I have dreams, they’re unique but to tell me they’re weird and I shouldn’t remember them hurts my feelings. Example of one I told him about for reasons that I’ll leave between me and him because he’d probably kill me if I told anyone why. So I had this dream, where apparently the slavey navy was selling dale Earnhardt tshirts. I of course had purchased one, wore it to work, and my one manager was like I can't well buy you another shirt that one is just... (like she thought his face was creepy) but in my dream it looked like the images on the shirt moved it went from his face to him driving into the garage... not hitting a wall and dying or anything weird. But he didn’t tell me the one I had Saturday morning was weird.. it was one where I dreamed about him going down stairs and doing something. He’d left his door open and one of his moms friends walks in (mind you I haven’t met them) and goes well well well what is this? And I acted like I was still asleep because I’m weird and I don’t like to talk to people I don’t know alone (plus I sleep in next to nothing at his house). So me acting like I’m asleep almost deters her, she starts going through my bag and I’m like excuse you?! To which he goes moms friends are nice. I being chicken shit leave out the details of the other part where his mom tells me that I’m like family?! The longest conversation we’ve had was the night I stayed over because we had a water leak and had to shut the water off. And what did we talk about the water leak they’ve apparently got and how we both hoped they got fixed/found. I from day one have been intimidated by her but I also think she’s a badass. Because I’ve made statements like I don’t want her to hate me or think I’m some two bit floosy. We’ve never really been formally introduced but she’s the only parent I’ve ever met. Since I didn’t date til college and the serious relationship I had was with a guy in the army so his parents were across country it was never a worry. And I’ve only really causally dated since. Don’t ask what me and nick are because I haven’t got a clue. I know what I’d like it to be or become. I know I don’t talk to anyone else nor do I want to. I know I’ve told myself I’d continue as long as I was happy with the situation. I learned with John 🙄🙄 that constantly bringing it up doesn’t help, or at least with him it made it worse. Only for me to be the one getting used and him cheating on a girlfriend who came along after me with me. And even after almost a year of no communication he thinks it’s ok to hit me up. Ah no. I’m over your shady cheating ass, and I constantly debate on telling your girlfriend what you’re doing to her. Maybe I should say something... maybe I shouldn’t hell I don’t know. I don’t feel like I know most of the time, which annoys me.

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fors-nat · 6 years

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A lil something for @booksnchocolate as a thank you for the lovely tag to my last lamen post (yes, I do read your tags, people)

So LAURENT MAKING NEW FRIENDS:

- The first friend Laurent ever makes is a teenage son of some nobleman who arrives to the capital for some kind of festivities. He is in this age when he wants to rebel but his father puts too much hope and pressure on him and demands perfect behavior and all kinds of successes. The kid is very annoyed of everything and does not even try to hide his attitude. Yes, he is a bit spoiled. Laurent notices him across the table during a banquet when the conversation turns to something boring, and he catches his eye and causally performs some trick, something silly like an olive disappearing in his hand, trying to cheer him up (like he usually does with kids). But the kid is not a child anymore, he is not so easily amused and he just rolls his eyes (at an Emperor, yes, the audacity!) so Laurent accepts it as a challenge and he tries all kinds of silly stuff to get a reaction from him, all while trying to be unnoticed by anybody else. The kid watches him for some time without showing any emotion, and then calmly pulls some prank on a nearby guest or a passing servant. It’s not a very nice prank, something like putting a bug behind somebodies collar, or rearranging the dishes and glasses in such a way that a person knocks over their wine, but it turns out kind of funny, and people laugh, and Laurent laughs too, and the kid smiles smugly. So Laurent repeats the prank on Damen who is in a middle of a conversation, and the evening turns into a mess after that. The next couple of days they just silently compete at “Who Is The Biggest Prankster” pulling all sorts of jokes and tricks, and the court quickly learns to be on their guard when those too are in the same room. Which only offers them more of a challenge they are only too eager to meet. Also they often request dirty songs from the musicians during the banquets to make everybody uncomfortable on purpose. Damen is amused, the courtiers learned to just roll with it, Nikandros is getting migraines.

- The second friend is a person who is in charge of teaching the children of the Akielon nobility to fight and… ya know… be athletic in general, because Akielos makes a big deal of sports and all that. For Laurent it’s a good opportunity to learn some Akielon fighting techniques, also Nikandros cannot be teaching him wrestling forever, the dude’s got a job of his own, and Damen is not always available, so Laurent starts practicing with this guy, who is nearing his old age, but is still in good shape, and is the best in the business. He is used to dealing with kings, princes, and other nobilities, so he does not let Laurent slack off, yells at him for mistakes and is strict as heck. We all know that Laurent is a good learner, so he picks up quickly, and the coach is very pleased. Sometimes Laurent practices with the kids, and the coach even asks him to do it more often, because the kids try harder if they spar with the Emperor. Laurent often lets them win, and gets very over-dramatic in his “defeat” to make kids laugh. At the end of the practice they talk a lot about strategy, and the dude uses Damen and his first days at learning as an example pretty often (best fighter in Akielos, duh). Laurent remembers all those bits of information and uses them to try and defeat Damen in a match. The “I’ll avenge my brother” days are over, but the idea to defeat Damen in a fight is still there. The coach values Laurents determination and hard work, so he gets really proud of him, and he appreciates Laurent being a good listener and a hard-working student, so they often talk for hours.

- His third friend is a librarian in a public library. Laurent and Damen founded some schools and they gave most of their books to the public library. They still have some private collection of old and/or rare books, but most of the books are accessible to common people now. And Laurent visits the library pretty often to get something to read, or to bring new books he keeps collecting from all over the world. The librarian is an energetic lady who speaks several languages and is super excited about books, and old history and old historical songs and suchlike. So naturally Laurent who opened such a library and keeps bringing her books is a God in her eyes. They have a lot of common topics for conversation, and she gets so carried away that she forgets their difference in social rank, and Laurent can just enjoy a lively conversation about books and history with an equal. Although one time he returned a book in a bad condition (knocked over a jar of water and spilled it over a book), and it nearly killed the librarian. She was visibly worried about letting him take any books from the library after that, and Laurent had to put some effort into regaining her trust.

- He is also friends with an eccentric scientist guy, who is partly an engineer, partly physicist, partly traveler and cartographer. He travels so much and absorbs the cultures of the countries he visits so much that nobody is sure where he is from or where his home is. Damen and Laurent met him when he came to the court with some request about a permission to use some warehouse for an experiment or something like that, and they were like WTF? Why? So he started to explain and it turned out interesting and complicated and a bit crazy, but they did help him with an experiment, and he gave them some music machine as a gift, which was a huge hit at the court, and that’s how he became persona grata in the country, and every time he visits Delpha, he is invited to stay at the palace, and he has his own special premises for conducting his experiments, and a number of people working for him and taking care of his machines and other staff while he is away. Laurent and Damen give him money for his research, and support him in any way they can, and he shares all his inventions with them, and brings back books and other souvenirs from his travels, and they talk a lot about all sorts of ideas and inventions. He always invites them to go on his travels with him, and they always mean to do it one day, but only really manage to go in their old age, when their kingdom is safe and there are heirs to the throne who can safely take care of things while they are away discovering distant lands and their wonders.

#lamen #laurent #cp #Captive Prince #damen #damianos #damen x laurent

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