#it uses up all my spoons and then some

[valkerymillenia]

Boss made me cry at work.

I worked temporarily for them twice last year and this time I was hired for a six month contract with a chance at renewal but it's a part-time contract because that's all they had (which was fine with me because both my health and caring for my disabled dad doesn't really allow for full-time right now).

But since I began in May, they already had me work a full-time week twice already, this week I was at my limit, the only thing keeping me sane was knowing it was just one week. Then they asked me to do full-time next week too and yesterday I said no.

Today my boss calls me into the office and goes "i worked so hard to re-hire you because you were an available person but now you don't want to work extra hours? What's up with that? Why did we even hire you then? We need it, summer is a very complicated time for us." And she kept insisting and insisting that I do full-time for July and August, whenever I tried to say I couldn't she would snoop, wanting to know why and what I was doing if not working, and she keeps pressuring and saying it was extra money as if that was the only thing that matters.

So basically my boss blackmailed me and heavily implied that I have to bend my schedule to their will or they'll either fire me or not renew my contract. Plus she was just rude.

So now I'm stuck working full time for two months and I don't have the health for it, I don't know how I'm going to survive this summer, I really, really don't.

#rach rambles #sorry I'm just being a big baby #but i feel taken advantage of #and i really don't know how I'm going to survive this #my levels of fatigue are so high that when i work 8 hours (plus those 2 stupid lunch hours where I'm stuck there)... #...i can't do anything else after #it uses up all my spoons and then some #i end up unable to cook or clean or write or read or even feed myself #much less take care of my father #I'm always exhausted and always wanting to cry my eyes out #Plus my job is just very demanding socially and that is very hard for me #sorry I'm whining #i know i sound like a spoiled entitled little brat #ps. they've also been hiding our chairs and not allowing us to sit on the job #which by law in my country is illegal #and just adds to my exhaustion #plus even before the chair hiding they shamed is for sitting

[yukipri]

Good morning.

A very kind follower let me know that my clones art has been stolen and reposted, again. This time on Tiktok.

So here's a new version of my art. It's called: "Apparently putting 'Do Not Repost' on the art 4 times + in my bios of every social + FAQ isn't enough, so how's this?!"

I'm feeling very defeated and exhausted.

I just finished filing a DMCA yesterday. This new art theft version already has more views than every like/note on all versions of my art on all of my socials COMBINED + multiplied. This art was only posted a few days ago. I'm beginning to deeply regret drawing it.

Art thieves getting views and likes does NOTHING for the community. Imagine of those likes/comments/followers had come to me, on any of my socials. Think of how excited I'd be to connect to new folks, how hyped I'd be to draw more.

(how maybe, just maybe, someone official might one day notice and it might lead to more😭)

I don't think I've hit 10K likes on ANY art I've ever posted on Twitter in 8 years, and certainly nowhere near that on Tumblr in a while. That's ok, I understand that's due to my own lack of skills, which is why i work hard daily to improve!

But ART THEFT DOESN'T HELP. This person did NOTHING but stress me out, make me regret sharing my work, and take away valuable time and mental energy from me producing more work. And I promise you, they will not be able to make my art for you.

Don't worry, I'm not just complaining about it. I've filed a DMCA (tho gosh TikTok's form is WEIRD, really hoping it worked🥲)

But please. If you see an art theft account, please don't give them views & likes. Someone else worked hard on that. They could really use your support.

Anyway, here's the link to my art on Tumblr. On my account. Since, y'know, I drew it.

#YukiPri rambles #art theft #idk i'm just so tired and sad and wondering why i worked so hard what's the dang point #yeah this is from my twitter thread bc i'm too exhausted to write it again this ate all my spoons and then some #yeah u may be wondering aren't u used to this why are you complaining #because this art literally went up days ago and i almost died marathon working on it for an entire goddamn week #because i still feel exhausted and then this fucko who did absolutely NOTHING is just like hehe look at how many views i'm getting! #and i am just. yeah. exhausted

[lithyena]

turned these old jeans into a skirt today ⋆₊✩⊹˚

next step is adding loads of patches to it, but that's for another day

#mine #goth #crafts #upcylced #i used up all my spoons for the day but i'm so glad i could finish it #I'm excited to see this with all the patches sewn on #not that i have those already lmao #but I'm getting some textile paint soon so that i can make those

[djsadbean]

If I made a wordgirl inspired icon pack (like for your phone apps, notion icons, or even to print them out to stick in your journals/sketchbooks) would that be something anyone would be interested in? They’d be in a similar style to the recent sticker update so super cute :3

#djsadbean rambles #I’ve been super excited about customizing my phone and I REALLY want wordgirl icons #I bought some on kofi for my phone and I ended up also printing them out to use in my journal (which added SO much color) #so yeah something I wanna do and put up so we all have matching phones xD #also if you’ve made it this far in the tags I have a secret project I wanna do this year SO BAD #if these worg inspired icons work out I wanna turn it into a fabric design!!!!! #I’ve been OBSESSED with sewing recently and I wanna make my dream wordgirl pjs!!!! #so I’d use the same drawings from the icons and make it into a cute quilt looking design #I’m thinking spoon flower might be the place I’d upload it bc Joanns discontinued their custom fabric service AUGH #but yeah!!!!!

[hella1975]

just think this time tomorrow ill be publicly indecent in a spoons somewhere. i am so strong

#ONE MORE EXAM. WE CAN DO THIS. I WILL BE DONE IN LITERALLY LESS THAN 24 HOURS NOW #AND THEN THE NEXT EXAM SEASON ISNT UNTIL MAY. COME ON GIRL #we have such a fun plan for tomorrow though bc the consensus has just been 'we need to get fucking mangled after this exam' #like i havent been out-out in WEEKS the closest i came was the end of december for a hometown house party of all things #i didnt even go out for nye. let's all take a moment and consider the implications for someone like me NOT GOING OUT ON NYE #so i am OVERDUE a good night out and then on top of that ive had exams be SO fr #and also this is the first year where my main friendship group (i.e not my housemates but my actual social circle) #are ALL econ students like there's about five of us and we all do econ and yeah two of them ive been mates with since first year #(the girl is my best mate at uni and is always who im on about if i talk about a 'girl on my course' and the lad is the one i lived with #in first year and have kind of got a thing with now?) BUT THE OTHERS ARE NEW ADDITIONS AND THAT'S SO FUN #so we're ALL gonna tip out of that exam and then me and her are gonna go back to mine to get ready bc am i fuck doing make-up #before that exam. the STATES i have shown up in these past few days i think the invigilators are worried about me #and then we're meeting the lads at the pub and starting there and THEN going spoons bc it's me and the girl's tradition #(calling her just 'the girl' is so funny. woman 🫵) after exams to buy each other mystery shots at spoons and we HAVE to drink them #and then one of the lads really wants to go to a karaoke bar for some reason?? so that might be in my future #AND THEN we're going clubbing. im so ready. take me home vodka shots. the end is near please please please #hella goes to uni

[theshadowrealmitself]

Me: I could knit, I could watch some new shows I’ve been meaning to watch, I could do some more job searching, I could look into figuring out how to fill out those forms to get those papers I need, I could play some video games, I could sketch, I could work on some stories, etc

My brain: We’re just gonna sit here and feel bad

Me: But-

My brain: For the whole day. Yeah. Full schedule here.

#no fandom #buddy let me do something #buddy. #buddy come on. #I mean I got some cleaning and cooking done today so I guess I used up all my spoons #but come one I can’t convince you to do something fun rn?

[nerdie-faerie]

It's miscellaneous vegetables pasta sauce time!

#ace tries cooking #truly my least favourite part about moving out for the summer is the bits and bobs meals that come about from trying to use up food #cant really buy anything new so youre just left trying to work with what youve got left #and sometimes its fine! ya know its just things you normally eat thats why you have all those components already #but sometimes its i had too many carrots left over from this recipe and ran out of this usual component typa concoctions #but the worst is when i gotta clear out all the vegetables in my freezer and i just chop em all up throw em in a pot with seasonings #and a can of chopped tomatoes let it cook then blitz it with a stick blender spoon it over some pasta and hope its not the worst #shoulda bought some cheese to top it off but i forgot 😞

[aroacehanzawa]

can't stand white people they don't know the concept of bowl of rice + a side of Just Fry Some Whatever With Onion/Garlic And Oil

#had an onion and some garlic cloves and a can of kidney beans so i was just frying it all up with a spoonful of butter #and my landlord (french. only vooks mediterranean dishes) walks into the kitchen like ohh what are you making #and i'm like idk i'm just frying some leftover stuff from my pantry #and he looked like i described an alien dish and was like *confused french noises* euh quoi eough huh so are you following some recipe #and i'm like nah just. putting together some leftovers #and he's like ????? (french questions marks) so is it.. something your mom makes? #no i'm just using what i have in the pantry #and he's like ¿¿¿¿¿ so something you normally like to cook??? #and now I'M confused

[whumpy-wyrms]

basement is flooding 💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥 :(((

#my most favorite magical amazing silliest place in the universe (my room) is in the basement :( #it’s not like Actually flooding but Someone (we don’t know who. might be our new neighbor.) turned on the hose outside and just. left it on #and the water leaked into our basement and into the walls and shit. there was a huge pool of water in the furnace room or whatever it’s #called and. there water literally underneath the floor. like literally water is leaking through the floor boards and i found out when i sat #on my rug and realized i was getting all wet. like i literally walked across my room and water was seeping through the cracks of the floor #water was EVERYWHERE #in like over half the basement. the floor of the main area is ruined i think and holy shit apparently like the inside of the walls or #foundation or whatever is so like wet and soggy that we might have to take out the entire wall that separates my room and the furnace room #and if we have to do that my stepdad says he’ll just remodel the entire basement while we’re at it. which means my room would basically be #gone. this is so fucking stupid #all because some idiot left the hose on. and we don’t even know who it is either. i think it’s our new neighbor because he kinda just #comes to our house a lot and talks to us or just hangs out in our yard. and sometimes he shows up when none of us are home #idk it’s stupid apparently there’s a shit ton of damage and that’s freaking me out because i literally love my room so much it’s my favorit #place to be ever and all my friends call it the autism room because it’s filled with all my favorite things #like my walls are bright neon lime green i got collections and shit i’ve got minecraft posters and like a million plushies everywhere #my room is literally so autism coded #ANYWAY. probably nothing will happen but yeah #side note i have a shit ton of asks to answer and tag games to catch up on and stories to read but i’ve had literally zero spoons lately #i’m gonna play minecrafttttt (in the process of building a pc so soon i’ll be able to get mc java!!! excited about that!!!!) #wyrms says stuff

[angeltrapz]

I am. exhausted today (uh. emeto warning in the tags but its very briefly mentioned)

#emeto tw #i woke up & threw up twice last night so that probably didnt help much #but like. ive been up for a few hours & my eyes are still burning #im so fuckin sleepy. im gnna lay down later. i still dont feel good #very few spoons today as well unfortunately #i brushed my teeth & hair + made my bed. thats about all the energy i have today #hopefully i can keep writing some chainshipping later tho <3 ive missed them so much tbh #connor.mp3 #waiting for my mom to call on her break & then well see what happens but im probably laying down sooner rather than later #thankfully i dont have days like this anywhere near as often as i used to but they still suck when they happen lol

[dredshirtroberts]

okay. i cleared out the space under my bed so the princess will have so much MORE room for activities than she previously did. at least until Saturday and we move to the new place and she can decide if she's going to play nice with the boys finally.

#i was really underutilizing the under the bed space #not that i had a lot that could go in there but like just conceptually there was a lot of open space #also a whole fuckin pillow for some reason #anyway... my bookshelf STILL has books on it 3 bankers boxes later #i have a BAJILLION chotchkies i gotta figure out how to transport (absolutely already have gotten rid of things that aren't important) #(still have approximately a bajillion don't at me bro i know) #we're gonna figure out the stuffy transport situation #i'm planning on just throwing my clothes into the back of my car wherever there's space when we get to that part #because fuck it i don't care if it's enclosed in something if it gets dirty there's a washer and dryer in the new place #and i've already got plans to wash so much clothing #i have a whole ass hangup about laundry and i'm going to do my best to overcome that this next year #i'm also trying really hard not to overspend on spoons because i want to be able to help AND enjoy my birthday activities #(weather permitting) on friday AND also be kind of useful while we're settling into the new place over the next week #it is very nice that i do not have to do everything all by myself because i've been able to take the rest breaks i need #i'm doing very good at not panicking i'm really hoping it'll last until we're most of the way done already and i can just #point to all the things that are already done and go ''eh it's fine see?'' at myself #and then not actually panic. #we'll see how that goes lmao #okay lunch time i gotta get up and do that before i forget i preheated the oven

[dragongeek1]

well friends I have officially joined the Chronic Pain Club, it’s not great to be here, there’s a chance it’s only temporary but my gut says ‘hmm many doubts’ and I won’t really know for a couple of weeks anyway until my doctors appointment. So. Been navigating that for four days and well we’re navigating at least

#there’s some sort of apollo prophecy dodgeball meme joke here #re me being close to many people w/ chronic pain/illness and being a strong empath #and already using spoon theory periodically for the mental health shite #‘ha ha wow this is so useful I’m glad spoonies consider mental health strugglers part of this too!’ and then I need you to imagine #that very specific TUNK sound a dodgeball makes #those thoughts have been living in my brain this weekend. anyway #mark and di if you happen to see this. TUNK (the dodgeball sound) #maybe it’s more irony than prophecy but as I said the thoughts have been there #I went to urgent care then the er thurs night because I spent an entire workday and over 8 hrs in severe abd pain #and it started on the lower right side so of course worried about appendix/gallbladder/etc #urgent care said yeah go to the er cause no matter what you need diagnostic imaging #and they asked have you ever had ovarian cysts I said no but my mom has (there’s thoughts it can be genetic) #do an ultrasound and sure enough I’ve got em! #and doing some reading up after the fact ‘most are asymptomatic and go away on their own!’ I was like well fuck #I mean that’s great but I’ve already failed the requirements I had STRONG symptoms #ibuprofen didn’t do a thing for the pain. until yesterday the hydrocodone they prescribed was all that would #yesterday experimented with three ibuprofen and that does help thankfully #so yeah needless to say I’m not very optimistic this is a ‘goes away on it’s own’ kinda cyst #but my obgyn is really booked and even squeezing me in/getting me in sooner is two weeks away #which is okay I get it healthcare is a mess #but yeah that means chronic pain for the foreseeable future #¯\_(ツ)_/¯ it is what it is #we’re navigating at least that’s all I can ask for #very glad I have today off because it was a very eventful weekend and I need an additional rest day lmao #but started off with low spoons because didn’t sleep well + pain so we’ll see how today goes #Cassie rambles #chronic pain shite #I have the mental health shite tag. might as well start that one lmao /cries

[pepprs]

ok mutuals be honest. should i “break up” w my counselor over these texts yes or no

#purrs #i don’t have the spoons to type much let alone reply to anybody ESPECIALLY not him bc this fucking pissed me off so bad i have been too #angry to reply. like what the fuck is this. im going through a hard time right now so why are you judging me for wanting us to talk about #that instead of me doing your stupid little homework assignment. i just feel so judged by him all the time and i can’t work up the courage #to tell him or end things. but i am actually dreading talking abt this new development / topic w him anyways bc the last time we talked abt #it he judged and pushed me so hard and i got SOOOOO angry but also maybe he was right and just saying thigns i didn’t want to hear and then #his supervisor got sick and he said he had this plan for us to do the erikson thing and we’ve barely started it and i feel so bad bc i #genuinely think it could work but i just don’t mesh well with him. but it’s like i should give it a try and stick it out bc there’s only a f #few months left and what if things get better. and also ihavent given him any indication of how unhappy ive been w him as my counselor and i #don’t want to spring it on him out of nowhere. but no we’ve been working together since October and i don’t feel seen or supported by him at #all an di know i have to leave bc i deserve better but things are so bad rn and my brain has been broken all weekend and i just don’t have t #the strength and idk what to reply or if i should but i think everyone is probably gonna say i need to leave him and i think you’d be right. #delete later #i truly do not have the mental capacity to rn but if u go thru my other purrs posts i talk abt some of the shit he’s done that has just been #building and building and i know i need to do smth about it bc it’s not okay. but im so scared.

[hatters-workshop]

Burning the candle not only at both ends but also somehow a secret third end.

#working full time #also trying to run a small art business #and get myself booked in for conventions and markets #that i know are going to eat my spoons #like a wood chipper #but that i need to do because selling online seems to be dead in the water #and feeling incredibly bad imposter syndrome #because i dont know if my prints are high enough paper weight #which feels like such a dumb thing to get anxious about #but talking to other artists made me feel like i should just chuck out all my stock #cos they were all saying they use paper at east twice the weight of mine #but ive always bought art for the art #not the paper #and dont know if others think like me or like them #and im also trying to get art churned out #for a print run that i need to do #pretty much the second i check some test prints that i ordered last week #because someone preordered a design that i wasnt planning on printing any time soon #and also while im at it i should try and get some prints done for a goth market ive signed myself up for #but that means making the art and it's fighting me #and i just feel so shitty right now #through and through and through shitty #and lonely #i miss a lot of my friends but i keep feeling like i have to chase others to remind them i exist #and then they're done with me #ive sent ten messages to the person who is meant to be my best friend since the last time she responded #i met up with a high school friend in the summer #and now shes either blocked me or deleted her facebook #and then when people do message me #and sometimes when people do message me they happen to time it when my spoons are too low to talk

[hella1975]

realised i havent complained about my job in a while despite working a shit ton lately including holidays (10 hours xmas eve + 7 hours boxing day + 10 hours new year's eve 🤡) so here's some quickfire BOLLOCKS ive had to deal with:

the kp (19F) and supervisor (33F) almost got in a punch up LMAO

my manager decided to have a complete breakdown on nye and took it out on literally everyone. like he overbooked past our capacity and instead of being normal and just cancelling some people even if it meant losing money this man instead started pulling tables out of his arse and creating new seating areas (anyone who's worked in hopitality knows you Cant Just Do That least of all DURING the busiest night of the year). naturally we had a shit ton of customers complaing about being too squidged together and who got to deal with it? THE FLOOR STAFF i hate everything

same manager same night kept snapping at all of us im still furious about this okay basically i was working a 10 hour shift and at 6pm there's a shift change, so we all tend to move sections and when you've been working the same (shit) section for 6 hours this is a GODSEND. so i got moved from my least favourite section to my favourite section and there's always a bit of a scramble around the shift change bc we're all picking up where someone else left off so it's where MOST of the mistakes happen. this happens daily to every single waitress no matter how experienced. and do you know what i had the nerve to do? i forgot to give this one couple their menus. literally they had not sat for even 5 minutes and were waiting on drinks anyway and my manager STORMS over like 'why havent window 1 got menus' and i immediately was on it like 'oh shit sorry ive just taken their drinks order ill bring them now'. this utter CUNT walked off bc he cant handle actual confronation and the next thing i know one of the supervisors comes over like 'we need you running food so me and you are gonna swap'. and im here like 'okay. weird. i hate running food so this is less than ideal but i cant argue'. i find out from the other supervisor (bc waitresses are GOSSIPS i was always going to find out) that my manager apparently swanned down to them like '[redacted] cant handle her section i need one of you to take over she's in another world' HELLO???????? count ur fucking days

did u know the holiday period actually makes customers ruder. did u know that. did u know the season of joy and giving ends the moment u step into a pub. because i know that now

there should be a law that ur not allowed to flirt with someone who's working. like maybe an exception if they start it first and you just reciprocate but aside that if they're on the clock in a job where customer service demands they be nice to you then DONT FUCKING FLIRT WITH THEM my god i could kill you. one man literally tried to set me up with his son when i was trying to just take a drinks order and that was one of the TAME examples

the bar staff kept clocking off before me and purposely sitting on tables closest to my screen to drink just so they could brag. psychological warfare im telling you

#i did get astronomically bladdered nye though #like TOO drunk im not proud of it #genuinely blackout for the last TWO HOURS of the night do u know how scary that is #but the beginning of the night was so fun i clocked off at 10 after that SHITSHOW of a shift #like a load of us clocked off at ten leaving it superrr understaffed and i literally said to the guys closing #'normally id stay on but tonight you could not pay me enough money in the world to stay even another minute' LMAO #i wanted OUT #BUT! a couple of us got dressed into out-out clothes in the toilets and got some drinks #and it's supposed to be one free drink per staff member but i got a rum and coke AND a cocktail AND a baby guiness #but the rum was 75% and i think that's where i went wrong like we were all at a table having a laugh #and i remember thinking at not even 11pm yet 'ive drunk too much too quickly i should slow down' #and instead we went to spoons and did tequila. what is wrong with me. STUPID bitch #like i was out until almost 4am and the last solid memory i have? doing the fucking countdown #that is a horrific amount of blackout even for someone prone to it like i am #every time i think about it i feel queasy #like after spoons i went to three other bars/pubs and i dont remember ANY of them #i literally dont even remember spending any time with my hometown friends (bc they were the ones i was supposed to go out with) #and idk how to tell them bc that's so fucking rude like i GENUINELY might as well have not met up with them for all i remember of it #UGHHHHHHHH #but i had fun with my work mates and that's more important to me than my hometown ones lmao they kinda suck <3 #hella slaves to capitalism

[causalitylinked]

( work was admittedly hectic... and i had to hardblock a mun for being lesbiphobic today, but on the bright side, i ended up being followed by a multimuse who legit has the female protagonist from tce2 as a muse, which made me vibrate with intense excitement because i didn’t think people would ever pick up tce2 muses...

and rae also managed to distract me with her ic and ooc shenanigans, to the point where i couldn’t really stay disappointed for long, so all in all, i’d say it was a good day!

ofc, i still have to work on the asks i owe @odiamors​ as well as replying back to rae ooc, but i’ll try my best to get everything done before tomorrow evening! )

#█ ▓『 ✦ ⸂ •• OUT OF SPOONS — ⧼ livi please shut up. ⧽ 』 #[ me after carrying the whole caligula effect rp community on my back: AH FINALLY... SOME GOOD FOOD ] #[ but yeah I WAS UNABLE TO CONCENTRATE DURING THE REST OF MY SHIFT ] #[ because never had i expected a day would actually come when someone would muse the protag of tce2 ] #[ that when it finally did i was just like '!!!' ] #[ 'THIS IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING I SAW ALL DAY' ] #[ and yeah at one point i had to tell a mun not use to use the term 'lesbian' when describing her pansexual muse ] #[ only for her to give me bullshit excuses like how her friends called her a useless lesbian too and pan/bi folks refer to themselves ] #[ as gay and lesbian all the time AS IF THAT SOMEHOW MAKES IT OKAY ] #[ AND SHE'S NOT NORMALIZING THE NOTION LESBIANS CAN SWING BOTH WAYS... which is problematic in itself ] #[ but anyways ] #[ i am thankful to rae and three of my other mutuals for saving tuesday for me ]