#it should had been done MONTHS AGO

[upsidedowngrass]

a bunch of art from the last few months!!

#hfjone #hfjone liam #hfjone amelia #liam plecak #amelia euler #hfjone backpack #hfjone scenty #not tagging the others these two are just the main characters in this #my art #eye strain #none of these are the piece ive been rly excited abt but i figure i should post them!!! #some r from today some are from months ago #srry for the inactivity!! ive had a lot on my plate :) #but i never stopped thinking about them. rest assured #and that other piecell be done soon but PHEW. its a lot #anyway!!! im happy w some of these and neutral on some but i wanna start posting art again :) #for a multitude of reasons hehe #anyway. waves at my followers. hiiii. im now off to class #sorry liam is so sad in all of these im only jsut now realizing that theres a disproportionate ratio #of sad and happy liams in this post

[compacflt]

idk if this question has already been answered or not but idrc, would your ice have considered it "talking about it" to admit his physical attraction towards mav? like calling him beautiful or genuinely complementing him. this goes for mav too

i do feel post debriefing ice would call mav beautiful openly or some sappy bs like that

love your writing 💌

anon i need you to know this ask was so cute it made me physically nauseous. i was sick all week thinking about how cute this ask was. thank you for sending it.

i actually had a couple drabbles where yes ice both pre- and post-TGM mission is like yeah im physically attracted to you, but it’s less like “oh my god you’re so hot 😍” and more like “i mean, yeah, you objectively look like tom cruise so it’s not like i really have a choice.”

but “beautiful” specifically i had not thought of, and it has knocked me off my feet and made me go feral/rabid/undomesticated for a few days straight, so i will be writing something about this. thanks.

#the reason there is very little of maverick in ch9 of wwgattai is because it would all be 100% fluff. #that’s the whole reason i started writing the drabbles. #i had to play up the ‘oh no we’re still not really together’ bit for the plot but #by the late aughts/early 2010s these are two old men who are extremely consciously in love #& just can’t say it out loud because it might change everything/have an effect on their careers #something that Should Be Done before they die but they both know so they don’t really HAVE to talk about it #I still don’t think i hit that feeling exactly which is disappointing but whatever #cutest ask ever anon. ill be thinking about this for months. #i clearly didn’t give their pre-2000s sex life a ton of thought but im sure ice was calling him ‘pretty boy’ in bed from day one #jsyk #pete maverick mitchell #tom iceman kazansky #icemav #top gun #top gun maverick #asks #edts notes #ANON!!! You sent this ask two months ago & this has just been sitting in my drafts sorry sorry sorry #first 3 are pre-tgm and last one is post-tgm (mav retiring ❤️) #anon—i just want you to know how seriously i took this ask; two/three months later. i wasn’t planning on writing out their wedding night #at all #this ask was what made me write their wedding LMAO

[ra-vio]

semester is almost over. im dying

#my oc #rune #mori #i have a project due tomorrow and its finally scared me back into drawing #even though i should be working on this project but im SO SO SO TIRED #i went on an outing like 2 weeks ago the same week that i walked everywhere cause i was desperately #trying to get my taxes done but thats a different story but the point is i was walking a lot and i went on an outing where i stood all day #and then i had to go to class the very next day thinking i was fine but i wasnt. #and that same day after i walked across the city because i absolutely had to pick a thing up. i think the same week i met up with my mom #a couple of times but i was walking the whole way there. my point is that for 2 weeks straight i have been rigorously walking everywhere #and on my feet all the time with little breaks in between and my feet fucking hurt man #i need this semester to be OVER i need to sleep for a MONTH #but i cant because i have to scrape together SOME of this project and finals are next week #this class this project is for fucking sucks. all semester ive been teetering the line between pass and fail #and its not even my fucking fault. im so burnt out so i dont want to do this project. but i might fail if i dont #i need to at least demo it but i have like. one thing done and i dunno what to tell my TA about i #how do i tell my TA and prof that everything is too much for me so i absolutely could work on this project #my laptop is broken so im afraid to use it. the server kept going down last month so i was afraid to use that #so many stupid little things keep piling up and i'd sound really weird trying to explain why i cant do my work #because my desk is on the floor and it makes me really sad so no i cant do my hw. my fave candy has red40 in it so i had to stop eating it #but now i cant do my work because i was using it to help me focus on my hw. LIFE SUCKS BRO #anyway whatever happens. i cant wait to play video games again

[radioscientist]

Me: *delusional* Maybe when I watch Marineford this time Ace will be rescued and hang out with Luffy and Whitebeard

#anime #radiowaves #one piece #op #marineford #*me: *watching Whitebeard’s fleet arrive* SEE! THEY HAVE IT UNDER CONTROL IT’S FINE* #*C’MON NOT ACE HE’S JUST A LITTLE GUY* #*AND LUFFY’S BEEN APART FROM HIS WHOLE CREW LET HIM HAVE HIS BROTHER!!* #*I also find it so funny that Geko Moria’s there like?? SIR???* #*didn’t you almost die like a month ago because Luffy accidentally found your Halloween island boat??* #*why do you THINK you should be allowed here???* #*meanwhile Mihawk has done ONE (1) attack that didn’t even hit THE CORRECT GUY and now will be chilling* #*I cannot WAIT for him to get home after his horrible day and find out Zoro and Perona are living in his house since he left* #*he just had his shit rocked by this war and then he can’t even sit on his couch in peace without two angsty teens heckling him* #*also not to give you buggy fans any rights* #*but he’s been great in this arc so far. Accidentally restarting his clown cult with escaped prisoners and deluding himself into the war* #*what else do I like* #*Marco seems pretty cool* #*I enjoy the idea of Boa standing there doing FUCK ALL until Luffy comes by good for her* #*i DID get jumpscared by Django being there I REALLY had to rack my brain to remember he was a marine* #*speaking of- are all the marines there?? where’s G8 man is he still chilling* #*such a good arc*

[littlecutiexox]

.

#your number one priority as an employer should be making sure your employees are happy and work is being done #how do people think its okay to start a meeting with ‘due to everyones paycheck not being certain next month’ #like #fuck #thanks thats not putting any anxiety on to me at all #they started going on about redundancy #i think you don’t qualify for redundancy unless youve been there for 15 years #the oldest member of the team has been there for 5/6 years max #how is everyone in the team not meant to freak out exactly? #people have rent to pay #sorry besties im freaking out #mega sucks too because i was massively enjoying this job and finally found myself excelling expectations #like really i live month to month and i am not the only one #how are we meant to live? #i better start applying to jobs #this makes it soo much worse that i refused the other job offer i had 2 months ago because i was most likely going to get promoted soon here #noww theyre most likely shutting the entire business down #sheeeesh #update i was wrong #redundancy pay is if youve been employed for more than 2 years #so thats 4/9 team members that can get redundancy pay #ive only been there 8 months #but at least others can get redundancy pay for a couple of weeks

[kazoologist]

not to be a colossal fucking cowabummer about everything but it really does suck that like. my really chill and like. supposedly more realistic type of career goal feels about as unattainable as like a kid saying he wants to be a singer or something

#kazoo noises #like yeah this was supposed to be a job i COULD get. i thought bc like. i was going into the field bc i loved the work and not bc i couldnt #make it into academia (fuck u alt-ac term users yall are snobs) id like maybe be able to cobble it together bc like. im good at doing work. #i can usually make something happen and i got a good attitude. but jesus ive got one year left and every job app comes back negative if the #even bother to respond #like idk man. i knew iwasnt gonna be making money or shit and i knew it was gonna be rough but like. everyone else i meet already has a gig #or at least like gig adjacent. volunteer or field experience or internship and like. i cant get anything to stick. its not like ive done #nothing either? ive worked extensively with small scale exhibition design. i have worked extensively with special collections libraries. #i have literal years worth of research experience from college. i have an entirely customer service based resume thats not academic so i #can handle a patron (and crucially different from my peers: I WANT TO) #i can organize. i can write and design labels. i can communicate. i can handle special collections objects. i can make ANY microfilm reader #work for me even when it doesnt want to #and im not saying my classmates arent qualified. but like. surely this has to amount to something. i have been so stupidly lucky #to have even half the experiences i do. i have variety in my degree that even some of my classmates would kill for i think. i did. so much. #i have had so many advantages and i like to think i use them well and that i am grateful for them. but why cant i make that shit connect??? #my resume is good. im reliable. i want to work more than anything. so why cant i get a call back??? #legitimately how much longer do i get to keep telling myself i a not the common denominator here #sorry for diary posting but im prepping to walk to the house tour and planning what job apps i can fill out when i get back and literally. #just like. why do i bother. i should have just held my nose and done the online only program in state. i'd probably spend less time rotting #god being 23 fucking sucks. it is going to be better. im literally just barely an adult. this cant be it and it wont be it. but jesus. i go #over having to beg for a rejection letter about ten months ago when i still felt like i had a shot at these experiences

[theboost]

1-800-are-you-posting anyway I’m sorry cobra kai is like crack to me. You just KNOW that daniel and amanda and johnny and carmen and chozen are having the most INSANE sex. Your childhood karate rival has filled his mansion with memorabilia to honor his sensei to keep it real we have a massive orgy on the floor.

#i wish chozen had been gay. i really do. but I think that kumiko does join in if they get together #I’m sorry. the larussos are definitely swingers. like outside of this specific headcanon they are swingers. they swing like tarzan #cobra kai #cobra kai spoilers #if you had told me a month ago I would be invested in this show. what karate kid does to an mf #you have to understand I watched it at the best/worst possible time. watching Daniel screaming punching walls crying talking about how he #he wanted to go home like hours after I did the same thing. and the karate kid 3 arc. man. whatever. #okay toooooo lazy to make another post as evidenced by all these tags WHY IS THIS SHOW ADDICTED TO ADDING NEW CHARACTERS. they haven’t #really done it this season SORRY LIVE EYE OF THE TIGER REACTION but like why is Devon Lee a main character she got added in like 7 episodes #late to the last season. this show. why are there no gay people. there should be gay people. they’re addicted to the heterosexual endgame

[coffeeworldsasaki]

I've deleted the game and I'm downloading it again now 😔

#no certainty it'll fix things because maybe it was some mod? even if the damaging one had already been deleted #but i had a weird bug that apparently happens when something goes wrong with a download that minimize the application when i get a #notification #i was supposed to delete and download again this game uhhhhhhh 4 months ago fjssks #so I'm fixing that #i should be able to just move the mods again there once this is done #I've moved them in a save folder before deleting

[pepprs]

prefacing this by saying im fine and its whatever and im mostly numb to it. but it kinda fucking sucks that being gaslit about my own sexuality leads to… doubting my own sexuality lol!

#purrs #just went to my first ever lavender graduation ceremony and had a convo w my dad after that touched on the EXACT horrors lol like i need to #learn to not bring this shit up around my parents bc they’re just gonna say the same things. and also it doesn’t matter bc idc about labels #and (to quote ricky) it’s a conversation not a constant. but like fucking hell. just bc ive never ‘’’’’’been with anybody’’’’’’ doesn’t #mean that i can’t know im not straight. the HORRIFIC psychic damage that did to me 5 years ago this month. the way i can’t think about #sexuality or being part of the lgbtq community since and like before then when that happened i thought i was a lesbian and was gonna try to #get involved with the school lgbtq student union . like it’s so ficking stupid and sad. and i can’t trust myself anymore i can’t tell if #anything ive ever felt for anyone is actually real bc according to my (straight and biphobic) parents ‘crushes don’t count’ and i haven’t #even had a crush in months anyway and yeah ive never ‘been with’ anybody. but like god damn. you DO NOT get to tell me i have to call myself #questioning. yeah im questioning but only i can call it that and only if i want to. i get to know me. i get to call me what i am. which also #means i get to work through the years of psychic damage this thread of conversation coming from my own parents has done to me #but i own that. i want to own that. ive had the feelings i have had. maybe they were wrong and misplaced and maybe there are other ways to #interpret them like me jus t having projection issues and whatever. but they were real to me and are real to me and shape how i show up #every single day. i get to know myself. i get to call myself what i am. even though you’re my parents you don’t get to tell me that. and you #should be sorry for how fucked in the head this has made me and how cut off i have become from other people who have felt what i have felt #and from the parts of myself that felt and hurt and loved. like lolllll. i was in a good mood and then that happened and now my heart hurts. #delete later #like i don’t talk abt this shit anymore for a reason 🤪✌️ i am not involved in lgbtq groups or communities online or offline for a reason 🤪✌️ #and it’s yet another manifestation of impostor syndrome too like. ppl wonder why im like this…. there is a very good reason 💖

[476b]

.

#hm well. #i finally cut ties with the guy ive been seeing for the past 14 months #since im moving and im not his primary partner anyways even thiugh he was mine #and so it isnt even a real Breakup i just told him i didnt want to keep hooking up #because i need something more than what we have and if i have him to fall back on i wont be as commited to really finding someone #hes respectful and agrees and everything is fine #except that it still hurts really bad #like i let go of a leaky liferaft in open water #it wasnt great but it was the best i had #but its fine #i plan on having fun this month #and seeing old friends and making new ones #and ill be happy again soon #i should have done this months ago but... i like him.....

[gengarpng]

The cool thing about working for big businesses is that it's always the people who sit behind a desk all day that make all the decisions despite having no experience anywhere else in the building outside their offices.

#anyways theres a big show coming up were trying to set up for #AND THEYRE STILL FUCKING PAINTING AND REMODELING #THE SHOW STARTS TUESDAY. THIS SHIT SHOULD HAVE BEEN DONE A MONTH AGO. #this weekend and monday are gonna be hell on earth trying to clean everything and set everything up #BC THESE FUCKERS CANT PLAN IN ADVANCE. DESPITE KNOWING ABOUT THIS SHOW ALL YEAR #SAME WITH THIS BANQUET WE HAD LAST NIGHT #EVERYTHING SHOULD HAVE BEEN SET UP ON WEDNESDAY BUT NOOOOOOO #IT STARTED AT 5 AND AT 5:10 WE WERE STILL FUCKING SETTING SHIT UP #Once again. they knew about this shit WELL in advance but no. setting up last minute and beyond.

[thea-apianae-dot-png]

eurasian collared dove

this one's a little different since i wasn't in the mood for lineart or cel shading

anyway i have some ideas for her character. still no name tho :(

photo reference by jesse amesbury

#my art #doodle #my character #digital art #described in alt text #man i just got kind of obsessed w birds like a couple months ago #they're cool ig. #i don't know how to draw their bodies (not much better at drawing the wings) #so that's prolly why i just draw ppl w bird wings #anyway i had some idea re: this gal #still not entirely sure #some vague concept of like. angels being similar to birds eg hatching out of eggs fledging in nests etc etc? #i'm sure this has been done before #but yeah i like birds! #idek if i should consider this a doodle #it took like 1.5 hrs but i usually spend way longer on my art #:/ #but coloring is fun in this style #i should do this more often

[chqnified]

The feeling of: yeah! I might be getting a proper job, one of those fancy 'life long' careers people talk about!!!

And also the feeling of: but. What do you mean.

#the realisation is hitting. and too fast #I'm going to start FINALLY learning to drive. I'm doing stuff by myself. applying for a job by myself. a fancy full time job at that. #i think realisation hit because i had to go get a bloodtest done by myself. mum was at work and so couldn't hold my hand. #dad was unwilling to go in with me #you know. i surprised myself. i managed to not only converse with the nurse!!! but also not fight her when i saw the needle!!! #and I didn't cry or scream #you may be laughing. but last time. around 5 months ago. i did almost cry and nearly passed out #big steps. #but again. it dawned on me as i was with friends doing regular adult shit. those boring things. or random things that scream middle age #shopping for bedding and having breakfast at the harvester screams mid life crisis. i should not be going through this at my age. alas. #and we drove there whilst listening to Britney spears. again mid life crisis hello??? #it has been an accumulation of things where I've realised. holy shit. i was not doing this or thinking about this go back 6 months. #now look at me. #it feels weird moving on. there are so many things i feel like I've been forced to leave behind. a lost childhood perhaps. #i wish I'd had the opportunity to be less scared and anxious as a child. #i think that's a major part of the reason why I'm struggling to move on or let go of some things. #I don't feel like the same person. probably lot's of reasons for that. but somehow that is what makes it worse #thoughts ig #on a worrying note. y'all better watch out for when i get a car. nobody will be safe.

[braceletofteeth]

!! (9 people i want to get to know better) !!

@loveforseo tagged me 🥰❤ Thank you, darling!!

—

last song: I'm Good, by Henry

last show: Girl From Nowhere

currently watching: Together With Me // Vincenzo // Unforgotten Night // Ingredients // The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson // Naruto // The Witcher (2nd season)

currently reading: The Silence of the Lambs // Manner of Death

—

Tagging: @anocturnaluniverse @anthean @asliceofoceanmist @bobafvcks @heartshxn @inhokki @mangodelorean @srabaskerville @softneomirotic

#tag game #I've been reading TSOTL for months. I'm still on chapter two. Should I just postpone that and read something else for now #I miss when I was a kid and could read a whole book in a day and a night #the song is really good!!! #I was happy that it had been the last one I listened to. it's one of my favorites. #the vibes are immaculate #I finished GFN just a few hours ago #(I watched s2 a lot faster than s1. I'm not sure what they did but from one to the other there was a huge improvement) #I'm still watching Ingredients because I like to watch it in the morning but I'm almost never awake in the morning #oh and I'm on episode 11 of Narut*. soon (?) I'll end season 1 and maybe in eighty years I'll be done with the rest as well :D

[campirebites]

besties good news for once

I made an appointment with my rheumatologist Dr SillyName (god I wish I could just doxx him (im kidding) bc his name is so silly I adore him what do you mean you have a s and a c next to eachother im dyslexic how do you say that) and I’m going to talk to him about my mobility decreasing and how much pain I’m in every day and bring up ring splints and wheelchairs with him because he’s the first doctor who ever believed me when I told them I was in pain and he’s the one who diagnosed me with my hEDS and if he tells me I don’t qualify for a wheelchair at least i know it’s coming from a doctor who cares, understands, and wouldn’t lie to me

#camshitposts #taking??? care of??? myself??? woag #today was really hard and I did it #I even managed to be sickly sweet to customers #except like one lady who came in and just dumped a pile of receipts on my counter and was like #I wanna return all this I don’t know what’s on what #bitch are you fucking kidding me right now #and her receipts were expired so I had to find each item by sku on her receipt to manually input the price of the item #and my system can only do one receipt per return #nobody tell her I have an override code and could have done it but if ur gonna make it painful I’m gonna make it painful bitch #also it all would’ve gone back to her card instead of a store return card and I’m a petty fucking bitch #for some reason there’s no way even with an override code to put something on a store return card unless the system tells you to put it on #one it makes literally zero sense if I have to do the return through the scan aide I should be able to be like no this receipt is from #6 months ago store return card only. nice people get it on their debits or cash tho cuz I’m a bitch like that #bc it’s all rich white moms it’s never normal people #anyway this turned into a work rant bc today was too fucking much #anyway fingies crossed Dr G has my back 🤞🏻 #im so tired of everythign dislocating I just relocated my thumb I’ve relocated my knees countless times today #my ankles are in braces bc I wouldn’t have been able to walk or stand today otherwise #this made me body check which made me realize my shoulder was subluxed which caused a chain reaction that healed me #my body is so broken Jesus Christ #I’m so tired #im so tired of hurting

[susiron]

Rantrantrant

#paralyzed by fear of going to the doctor while my body is like actively going to shit #I’ve been having weird nerve shit for awhile now that I’ve been neglecting to get looked at #shit that should have had me running to a doc ages ago #but I keep making up shit in my head like oh pinched nerves pinched nerves #and maybe that is what it is but why haven’t I gone to the doctor yet #I’m fucking miserable I like can’t get comfortable #my nerves are twitching and I’m scared to know why #and not doing anything about it is actively making it worse #and even before the nerve fuckery I’ve got going on rn I had other things I’ve been ignoring or putting off #I never did get that fucking MRI #how much anxiety would I have saved myself had I done that years ago #paralyzed by my own fear and making myself so much fearful for it the longer I wait #I’m just so scared at this point I’ll get that MRI and be told the worst news #been living with that dread for years and it gets worse the more I wait and push this off #and I’ve said so many times I’d finally go get it done #I even got referrals for it last year #and then I didn’t and now I’m back to being scared shitless and things are getting worse #my left arm won’t stop twitching I’ve just got skin crawling sensations like crazy #it could just be a pinched nerve in my neck I’ve fucked up my neck so bad this last month #but why am I not looking into it faster why am I like this #I’ve just reached a point of being afraid I go to the doctor and get those tests done and get told that #putting everything off has doomed myself in some way #and I’m putting it off and making it worse to avoid that and it’s a self defeating cycle #just years spent waiting for the bad news to drop and running from it #I know this isn’t sustainable and I need to do something #I’m just so fucking tired and scared just always scared scared of myself and what’s in my body making me feel like shit #and of knowing what it is #I gotta force myself to go to the doc before the end of august #this thing with my arm and the nerve twitches in. general it’s the straw breaking the camels back #and the back should’ve broken a long time ago