#it hasnt been going well lol

[gunsatthaphan]

~ Monthly BL Breakdown: April 2023 ~  

🌼 Happy May!!! 🐝

Disclaimer: ALL shows can be streamed here or here, as well as on Youtube and other platforms. For more info on where to watch what, check out this post!

New breakdowns are coming at the end of every month - feel free to add stuff! -> previous breakdowns

What came out this month? (green = seen/currently watching)

🌟 Bokura no Shokutaku (Our Dining Table) - April 6th (Japan)

🌟 My Beautiful Man: Eternal - April 7th (Japan)

🌟 Eien No Kinou: Complete Edition - April 13th (Japan) 

🌟 Naked Dining - April 14th (Japan)

🌟 Midnight Love - April 15th (Thailand)

🌟 My Story - April 15th (Philippines)

🌟 Step by Step - April 18th (Thailand) ❌(dropped)

🌟 Our Skyy 2 - April 19th (Thailand) ✅

🌟 The Promise: Part 2 - April 19th (Thailand)

🌟 Midnight Love - April 22nd (Thailand)

🌟 Stormy Honeymoon - April 22nd (Vietnam) 

🌟 The Day I Loved You - April 26th (Philippines) 

🌟 Happy Merry Ending - April 27th (South Korea) 

🌟 Love Syndrome III (Uncut Version) - April 29th (Thailand) 

🌟 La Pluie - April 29th (Thailand) ✅

Monthly likes/dislikes

❣️ Our Skyy 2 - Absolutely loving it so far!!! It’s exactly the kind of lighthearted chaos I was hoping for and especially the NLMG episodes were so much fun to watch. Once again proves that PP just work in a comedy setting. ngl these 2 episodes were better than the entirety of the 12 episodes of the main show for me lmao 🤷🏼‍♀️ The SIMM episodes were a bit strange plot-wise lmao but JD’s chemistry saved the day for sure. Very excited for what’s to come!! 

👎🏻 A Shoulder To Cry On - I was very disappointed by this one. It was my first time dipping my toes back into the kbl world after TMS and I was hopeful as I read good reviews but my god it was so bad. it had a solid start but then the plot started reaching and it got weirder with every episode. and not to mention the lack of intimacy like I get they probably didn’t do it because of kpop or whatever but why even cast them to begin with then??? I have zero understanding for things like that. This was a bromance and I hated it lmao. bye.

New series & movie announcements

🎥 Colorful Melody - Date TBA (Thailand)

🎥 Forever Yours - Date TBA (Philippines)

🎥 Rule No.1: Don't Be Too Emotional (novel adaption) - Date TBA (Thailand)

🎥 Night Dream - Date TBA (Thailand) 

🎥 Deep Night - Date TBA (Thailand) 

🎥 Khemjira Will Survive (novel adaption) - Date TBA (Thailand)

🎥 Let’s Eat Together - coming June 2nd (Japan) 

🎥 VIP Only - Date TBA (Taiwan) 

🎥 I Can’t Reach You (manga adaption) - Date TBA (Japan) 

🎥 The Bartender - Date TBA (Cambodia) 

🎥 Love Supremacy Zone - Date TBA (South Korea) 

🎥 Aedan The Series - Date TBA (Philippines) 

Other news from the BL world

❗️ Workshops for the upcoming GMMTV BL Dangerous Romance have started. Filming is scheduled to start next month.  

❗️ The upcoming Domundi Thai BL Naughty Babe is officially in production. Shooting will commence soon.  

❗️ The upcoming WabiSabi Thai BL Absolute Zero (dir. New Siwaj) has started filming. 

❗️ The company StarHunter announced their lineup for 2023:

City of Stars (BL)

True Moon (BL)

Sunset Vibes (BL, starring MosBank)

The Taste of Fresh Milk (BL)

Big Dragon the Movie (BL)

Love Senior (GL) -> this will be StarHunter’s first GL drama.

❗️ A movie version for the Korean BL Where Your Eyes Linger (re-edited version) was announced. Details such as plot + air date are still unknown. 

❗️ After a supposed casting sheet was leaked in a video, rumors sparked that GeminiFourth will get replaced by ViewJune as the side couple in the upcoming Thai GL 23.5. The actresses were also seen in the workshops to Dangerous Romance, along with Papang and Pepper, creating further rumors about the 2 pairs being side couples in the show along with Marc and Pawin. Nothing is confirmed. 

❗️ Actors Billkin and PP (I Told Sunset About You) have registered a joint production company called BKPP Entertainment. It will be managed by Billkin, PP, Bell Supol, Panut (Billkin's dad) and Sureerat (PP's mom). Details about possible productions (film or music) are still unknown. 

❗️ Actors Bas Suradej and Copter Panuwat have left Starhunter Entertainment, which resulted in Copter and costar Kimmon parting ways as an on-screen pair. Their upcoming show Boy Never Smiles will still air as scheduled. 

❗️ Actor Yacht Patsit has dropped out of the Korean idol program FANTASY BOYS due to a chronic illness. He will resume his acting career in Thailand. 

❗️ Kpop group SF9 members ZUHO and Kim In Sung were announced as the leads in the upcoming Korean BL Star Struck. The series will premiere on May 18th. 

❗️ The following BL actors won at this year’s Thailand Master Youth Awards:

Zee Pruk and Nunew Chawarin: People Favorites

Gemini Norawit and Fourth Nattawat: Youth Favorites

Upcoming series & movies for May

👉🏻 House of Stars - May 1st (Thailand) 

👉🏻 Love Mate - May 4th (South Korea)

👉🏻 ViAn The Series (TikTok series) - May 6th (Vietnam) 

👉🏻 My Partner (movie) - May 7th (Philippines/Hawaii) 

👉🏻 Star Struck - May 18th (South Korea) 

👉🏻 The Luminous Solution - May 27th (Thailand) 

👉🏻 Tie the Not - May 27th (Philippines)

👉🏻 Takumi-kun Series 6: Nagai Nagai Monogatari no Hajimari no Asa - May 27th (Japan) 

#doreens monthly bl breakdown #thai bl #bl drama #upcoming bl #update #bl news #im noticing Taiwan hasnt been making BLs lately lol #i wonder whats going on #also cant believe Bas and Copter are finally free from Starhunter dkjhvfd #good call guys #im screaming at these DR workshop pics because if this is all true then we are getting 3 side couples dfjhgkfd #please no #i am intrigued by papang x pepper though 👀 #also i had to drop step by step #i didnt like it at all #which is a bummer #but oh well

[silenthillbunni]

.

#the past week i've been waking up early and feeling wide awake O.O #then i scroll on my phone for 2-3hrs then i get tired and fall asleep again #it's super annoying bc it messes w my sleep schedule #and like... i missed class today bc i did this!!!!!! wth.... #my sleep hasnt worked normally since like november 2022 tho #it's been roughhhhh but it just wont get better again #i wake up every 3hrs nd then go back to sleep nd i do this for maybe 9hrs sometimes 12 🥴 #and i get up at like 12-13 nd thats not good when i have classes at 9 nd 10 lol #i dont know it's just super frustrating! i've been struggling w my sleep for over a year nd it just wont get better #nd like i just wanna sleep thanks!!!! #(ofc since i have health anxiety my mind starts spiraling abt how sleep's essential nd it's while sleeping your body regenerates nd heals #nd since i dont sleep well my body isnt healing as well!!!! so then im fucked right?!?!? then my lack of sleep is making me sicker right?!)

[the-kipsabian]

if you arent there on stream nights, youre seriously missing out on some actual gems

#these are all twitch clips i believe so. community curated good moments here for you lol #its especially fun now that its focused more towards talking and audience interaction than in the past #also we have fun incentives for subs and bits and stuff now. as you can see from flynns promo moment lol #anyways. this made me smile so here you go. i miss this goober he hasnt been on in a week because of renovations #that apparently didnt go so well and we are waiting in horror to hear what he did wrong this time lmao #kip sabian #wrestling #my beloved #kip in a box #Youtube

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#head instructor to the TAs in the lab section i TA for: how r u guys feeling abt the workload? #me who hasnt graded anything since week 1 and spent an hr that morning filling out a patient safety plan: 🙃 #listen. we r experiencing symptoms that make us shitty at our job. which is not helpful for a positive outlook #i was also experiencing horrible cramps at the time bc i lost my ibuprofen and 2 days ago i stopped the birth control in a desperate effort #to stop feeling terrible. but in this moment i feel alright. its wild to go from drastically unhappy to like lol wtf was that? anyway stop #being a bby loser. for no obvious reason. im gonna start the birth control again to see if i get depressed again or if that was just me lol #i dont think my therapist understands the depth of my executive functioning issues tho. bc im a grad student and can meet deadlines. like #let me tell u im a fucking disaster abt starting things. i will go back and forth and get nothing done forever. or i do things halfway and #make everything 30 times more difficult later bc no one else understands how my brain works #ah well. itll b fine. sometimes i just get freaked out that i wanna b better and i dont kno how to do that. so i spiral in despair a lil #ill b fine. im good at catching myself before i get too out of control. annoyingly tho i am not currently beating the bip0lar allagations #bc whatever tf is wrong with me i do probably fit the diagnostic criteria for bip0lar 2. i dont kno y that freaks me out so much. i guess #its bc it feels like something i cant just make better thru force of will and i grew up in a home that was very obsessively #health conscious to the point my dad gets anxious abt taking a single ibuprofen. so like ive been conditioned to get freaked out by #medication. literally my grandma will call me and tell me to b suspicious of doctors and to not take medicine unless absolutely necessary. #like lady u r the genetic reason i have 0cd shut the fuck up. also it feels like something that would more negatively affect how ppl think #of u than saying oh yea i get depressed or i have anxiety. like the connotation feels worse im used to just telling ppl whatever tf #my problem is. so the idea of holding something back feels weird. which annoys me bc i dont think there should b so much of a stigma. its #bullshit. anyway idk. im tired. i was trying to think of a comfort tv show with my therapist and all i could think was the terror #when im depressed i wanna watch those English mother fuckers suffer and die. i just lov that show so much. harry g00dsir my beloved. the #most me coded character to ever exist #unrelated

[bahoreal]

i really enjoy platonic tedbecca i truly think they work best as friends cause ted really needs someone who indulges or at least enjoys his optimism and strangeness, and honestly i don't think rebecca does that, she more tolerates it than anything else

#and this isn't me going tedtrent should happen cause Honestly that hasnt had enough buildup and would be strange to come out of nowhere #i just think ted should be happy and open to things. cause up till this point he has been closed off #too friendly in a way that makes him unapproachable u know. let him mellow let him be open let him stay in england #ted lasso #theyre gonna do something we're not expecting but something that was absolutely inevitable i am sure #and if they do it well i could accept anything lol #but i mean. ted is also absolutely not rebeccas type. im still gunning for rebecca/sam i loved them sm

[orcelito]

OK so I have an inkling of an idea for a trigun ficlet. A one-shot, really. Not really any plot, but I just have the urge to write my own interpretation of Weird Plant Shit. Like for how much ppl tag this stuff as xeno, most of it's honestly pretty tame. Which kinda makes sense, considering a lot of this is being based off of the plants in stampede, which While uncanny are not NEARLY the amount of inherent horror of the plants in the manga. There's some FREAKY shit going on there. So like. You know. What if I took more inspiration from That for Vash's freaky shit?

#speculation nation #YES this is for a smut idea. dont judge me #ive never posted smut b4 bc ive exclusively been writing akeshu & theyre teenagers #im not interested in writing smut of teenagers #but i have my interests 😭 and i am an undeniable monster fucker. we been knew. #just. vague idea. ppl have run with the plant idea. & id wanna too. but in a different sort of way. #thinking more. venus fly trap kind of situation. NOT easily translatable to human biology #the kinds of shit that may trip even the most adventurous man up. but we all know he would take it in stride in the end. #idfk so much of the allure of this pairing to me is the inherent inhuman nature of vash's physical form. and how that manifests everywhere #the human and the angel. for all that entails. #i dont have an idea for an actual story for these characters yet. my brain is spinning them but it hasnt come up with that yet #but a lil smth self indulgent to just play around with Fun Ideas? i reaaally wanna go for it. #we'll see if i end up writing this. & if i end up posting it. #im both somehow Very solidly kinky and VERY solidly shy about it. aka why i barely post about that kind of stuff. #face in my hands just talking about this here. who knows how i'd fare with posting it. #but if i go thru the trouble of writing it you BET id go thru the trouble of posting it #and you B E T itd be angsty. the inherent longing and unsaid words. what am i if not an unrepentant angst writer lol #thoughts & ideas r spinning. i will have a merry little time. #uhm. do i need to tag this as anything. is this too tmi? i dont even know #WELL if u read the word 'xeno' and keep reading that's on U. sorry #here just in case if ppl r worried i will tag this as #tmi/ #sorry lol

[cephalonheadquarters]

im more excited about melo birthday than my own

#our birthdays are in the same month anyway idk #hes going to have existed for 1 year....Its actually crazy how it hasnt been a year but he already has the most drawings out of any oc i #have ever had.. #His birthday is june 7th......... #I was abt to say i want time to go faster but then i remembered i will age as well.....Eeek......im already thinking a lot about how im #going to be 19 next year......im not even 18 yet.......Halp....... #I feel like i should feel something about turning 18 but i feel nothing #Ive kind of stopped caring about my birthdays im just 1 year older and time goes on :shrug: i dont feel like im growing up but i know i am #I dont really like celebrating irl cause. Got no friends to celebrate it with and also im awkward irl LOL #My birthdays are more fun online im gonna be honest its a lot more chill #not in june but diesels birthday is...the 21st night of september.....LOOOOOOL #I will Remember

[fakestage]

I think (as much as I annoyingly complain and whine about not having a partner) being single this long has been good for me. I'm learning a lot about myself and I'm learning why I was a shit person, and through finding the root of the problem I can kind of... start to heal. I can be nicer to myself so I can grow and get better. Because TBH.. being mean and cruel to yourself doesn't make you become a better person. It just makes you believe that thats what you /are,/ and thats what you /always will be,/ as opposed to realizing that you are a product of your circumstances but that does not mean you can't get better and become a better person. Accepting help and trying to get better so you can eventually love yourself – even if no one else does – is the greatest and loveliest thing you can do for yourself. You deserve that love, you exist and you live and you feel and that is a truly beautiful gift.

#uhm well anyway I hope everyone finds people and a place where they feel safe and loved #I'm feeling really emotional sorryy #basically. tldr; found the problem! trying to get better now through loving myself instead of hating myself #its been really hard. its going to be really hard. I feel like ive barely made any progress #I wish I had a therapist to talk about this stuff with. but I dont. #btw the uh root problem: finding out my mother was actually hugely abusive & I already knew my dad was #so basically ive been having to confront the fact that Ive been living a lie and my mother is actually deeply terrible as much as my dad #and my parents should have never had children & ive never had one single decent adult in my life #so basically uhm yea lol. I was born into dysfunction. I was never going to turn oit normal or okay. #so its been hard to like. figure all that out alone. learning I have ptsd and extreme ocd + dissociation because of them hasnt been easy #its made me so deeply miserable because I guess I assumed what my mom was doing to us was normal this whole time? #because I thought no. surely not. surely i cant have TWO terrible parents. I need at least 1 good one right? #but yea no actually every adult has hurt me in some way. and I was never going to turn out alright because #I am the king of obsessing and cycling over everything in my life #Im like. not okay right now but not being im in danger just because I wish I had someone to talk to about all this. #I just need to learn to drive so I can get out of here. I need to get out like #all these realizations have been really really heavy on me and ive been having trouble sleeping #Its been hard to process and I dont really know where to go from here. I guess I cant properly heal and grow until I move out? #idk this has been really long im so sorry. #vent #tw vent #tws -> #abuse ment #parents ment #<- in tags

[alxclaremont]

finished my first year of college last week and i truly do not know how to feel about it

#i wanna go back i dont wanna be in my home town i miss it so much and it literally hasnt even been a week since i left #anyway. #my grades defintely were not what i wanted them to be and i have to get my shit together big time if i wanna go to law/grad school lol #BUT #besides that and me getting mold poisining and being sick the entire first semester it really wasnt bad at all #i met so many wonderful people and did so many fun things and i absolutely cannot wait to move into my apartment in august #and start my sophmore year #i have so so so so so so so so many exciting things to look forward to #plus i'm really excited for my classes next semester so i hope those go well #i'll be finishing my minor in my spring semester so i'm going to try to find something else to minor in since i couldn't double major #i also really have to get the ball rolling on taking classes for my major because almost everything has just been geneds so far and that #is not doing me any good so i'll definetly be taking some summer classes #but anywhosies all in all it was really good and i absolutely cannot wait to go back #lacey talks

[halforcdad]

get the feeling that the first few episodes of the season were chock full of kacy to make up for both sad, angsty kacy last season and to give us something to hold onto in light of this expected multi-episode lucy absence 

and if we're assuming the crossover (2x10) or the episode right after it to be the one when she'll be back, (she seems to be listed for ncis: la, but not the ncis: hawai`i episode), then we’re in for a month and a half long kacy hiatus, about 3 episodes or so (lucy could still vid-call or text and stuff, but there will still be a lack of her and it won't be the same 😭)

we know that both lucy and whistler are prone to spiraling/overthinking, and while yes, this is going to be a taxing 4-month long separation it would be hard for any couple to face, it rings a little hollow when they just moved in together and re-emphasized their commitment to each other and desire to be together all the time and as a viewer it’ll be hard for me to reconcile 3-4 episodes in reality being 4 months of time in the show

and it sucks that they seem to be leaning towards lucy conquering her fear of water off-screen. it’s disappointing because i don't want to see this type of tell, don’t show story-telling for a seemingly big part of lucy’s character, id prefer she do it with her team/family supporting her or having it be a big character moment on-screen (though, her going on the water for both jesse and whistler kind of was like that, it wasn't the highlight of those episodes or those scenes really, in Pirates, it starts off as an emotional thing that later turns into comic relief when they meet with Pike and we see her enormous life-vest). of course, there’s still a possibility that she comes back from this still deathly afraid of the water and having had a miserable time, but i don’t know if they’d introduce this storyline only for her to come back like ‘ugh it was awful i should have just stayed’ and brush over her time on the boat

there’s also a possibility��this 4-month absence leads to the introduction of a lucy feeling anxious and worried about whether kate was messing around while she was away storyline, which obviously that type of storyline isn’t inherently bad, frankly im more surprised that hasn’t been brought up at all and they’ve been in a honeymoon phase, but like lucy said she has trust issues (and they laughed it off even though uhhh whistler you’re half the reason for that)

and to top it all off, she’s going to be aboard the Ronald Reagan, quite literally homophobia personified LMAO

#ncis hawaii #ncis hawai'i #kacy #lucy tara #im genuinely disappointed in this being the storyline for her absence lol #idk i dont think they built it up well enough #like all i got from the episode was that lucy had more reasons to stay than to go she didnt even seem that excited #and thats not even me being kacy biased lol #and not to be a conspiracy theorist but yas hasnt really been shown in bts or that veterans day video they put out while filming 2x12 or 13 #so uh do we know when lucys really going to be back lol #idk idk idk! i guess ill have to see how they handle it when she gets back but thats not gonna be for....a long while sigh #ive slept on it and im.fine now LMAO it is what it is and kacy was so sweet this ep

[guinevereslancelot]

feeling like my friends secretly hate me at it's not even 9pm

#been feeling this way since the weekend.... #helped my pregnant friend move and couldn't shake the feeling she was upset abt the way i was packing her stuff even tho i checked with her #but she wasn't giving any directions i had to make choices lol #and i got a lot done but idk #her husband said she wasn't upset just feeling terrible w morning sickness #also i offered to bring a meal by several times and she keeps putting me off #and then my mom got her some maternity clothes and she didn't even say thank you #and i asked if that made her uncomfortable and she just kind of laughed but didn't say no #she basically hasnt given a straight answer about anything in weeks #idk she has no actual reason to be upset and i know she's not feeling well but she's been acting sooo weird #it makes me feel liks she's mad at me :( #even my mom's feelings were hurt abt the clothes #so that's just confirming for me its not in my head even tho ik it probably is #anyway i hate feeling like this #we're not lile suuuper close and she's been so weird i dont want to bring it up #esp since she's not feeling well and has a lot going on and real problems lol #anyway :( #this has been a shitpost #if we were closer i would def tell her she hurt my mom's feelings at least #also my brother and i were like the only people in the friend group to show up to help them move #so that should buy forgiveness for packing stuff wrong or whatever #like we had to just get stuff packed they had barely packed and all that was left was miscellaneous stuff #and it took forever even tho we tried to be efficient and get through as much as possible quickly #but im worried she felt like we were judging the mess idk

[n7punk]

absolutely dead over da4 news coming out and its just. guys we have an internal alpha to start actually making a game with

#it has been ten years 💀 #like good for you ig but this really just feels like 'guys we promise development hasnt been canceled' #the alpha stage of a game can last YEARS like #well i guess part of the update was also 'we have characters!' which. i mean its all progress i guess #im making fun of it because i know im going to put my dunce cap on and dance like an idiot monkey when it comes out #im fully prepared for it to be bad but i will still be playing it #who knows maybe ten years actually makes the best product possible #by i feel like cybepunk 2077 already taught us that lesson LOL #mylife

[myownprivatcidaho]

thoseve yall who were here a year ago might remember that a year ago He was liking tweets like "idk how people can cheat when im in love im obsessed😍" and "the honeymoon stage rlly doesnt die if youre with the right person🥰" and he was liking stuff like that up till recently now shit like this is in his likes something is BROKEN in him

#i feel bad. i dont even mean it in a conceited way but i cant help but feel like a bit of this is my fault #hes so bright eyed and ambitious that the idea of him losing any of that idealism is nothing short of a goddamned tragedy im sorry #yes this is the guy who lead me on (unintentionally???) and flirted with me for a year despite seeing TWO people during that time #the latter of which became his girlfriend (who i told Everything to ...) #and like. he never apologized he never explained what was going on or why he acted like a fucking simp for a year #but basically we're not talking now and we're on bad terms and angry at each other #(me because. well yall were there for that . hes angry because i ratted his flirty ass out ) #god that all stings so bad i havent talked about the details of what happened to anyone...... #but yeah i just. even still after all this time i hope he stays bright eyed. the idea that he wouldnt is heartbreaking in and of itself. #that one crush situation lol #idk if theyre still together. it was early novembet i reached out to his gf and laid the whole thing out for her #& she said theyd 'take it from here' (??????) and was uncomfortable with me and him communicating with the knowledge that THAT ALL happened #even while they were together. i told her i could respect that (even though i wanted to ask her who the FUCK she thought she was. anyways) #and then i reached out to him one last time to clarify i wasnt dredging it up for retaliation or to break them up but bc she genuinely #deserved to know. then he sorta said fuck my feelings and then reiterated what his gf said that we shouldnt be talking anymore #its been radio silence since then from bothve them. if they did break up id feel bad (cause how COULDNT i?) but if they didnt. #that means the only factor that changed here was. well. his 'relationship'/chances of a relationship/flirtationship/friendship with me. #i dunno. im not gonna act like i have all the facts and im not gonna act like he hasnt screwed me over #but getting back to my main point. imagine knowing him and watching him lose his idealism. try not being heartbroken over that.

[louismygf]

guess i'll die! 🤷🏻‍♀️

#OKAY ok okok ok #i get that #hes going to asian countries he hasnt been to before #hence why turkey uae indonesia and philippines dont get a date #but it still hurts LOL #im really hoping. theres 2 parts(?) to asia leg..... like maybe a final asia leg in 2024 along with oceania/australia :/ #asia leg part 2 has india i know it hsjdjdfj #me trying to cope. this is so sad #ugh okay...‚ i sound Very entitled but i was just yk... daydreaming about philippines getting a proper tour show yk :/ #we had no openers no wrist band no confetti cheap material merch + some merch were unavailable :/ #so i was hoping this time around he could provide asian fans the same treatment fans from the other legs got :/ #anyway if. all of asia leg has been announced then im going to make myself feel better by telling myself i couldnt have made it in april... #knowing damn well i literally could lol hahahaha anyway 😄 #also april 2023 is so soon?????? was it wise to announce it this late ....... #ito talaga ang problema kapag umaasa eh !!!!! bat ba ako umasa hahahahaha gago XDD well . bahala na idc anymore ai dee cee idc!!!!! #literal na kabibilang ko lang ng naipon q kagabi !!! na jinx q talaga LOL HAHAHAHAHA punyeta #shutaka accla 😭😭😭 bright side.... tour starts earlier! 🥹😭🥹🥹😭😭🥹😭🥹 RRRHRBFF #not hearing fitf songs live <- heartbreaking #congrats to these asian countries !!!!!!!!!! #ok im normal ! im. normal im fine :)

[orcelito]

It's so interesting playing p5r and watching Haru's social link... in discacc, I kinda gloss over most of the social links, bc theyre largely the same as in the game, but with her... I'm gonna have to really pick apart how her friendship with Akira develops lol. Bc of how things have been set up, their friendship will be fundamentally different from how things are in the game... they CAN be friends, I just... need to smooth some things out first...

#speculation nation #discacc shit #the biggest difference i think is the way that makoto already exists for discacc haru as The Confidant #in p5 haru's friendship with akira is largely based on him being a pillar of support for her after her father dies #it's not quite the same. but for discacc haru she's going to automatically turn towards makoto for this kind of thing #additionally. there's the whole deal with goro lmfao #while akira's (kinda) called goro out for it. a little bit. the fact remains that his boyfriend has been a piece of shit to haru #and akira could definitely do more about it. and he will! but he hasnt yet. #so yes he's only been kind to haru. and haru's grateful to him for keeping her needs in mind. #but he's still willingly associating with someone who she just. Does Not Like. #not only is goro a complete asshole. but he's also Uhhh a murderer lmfao. & even with the circumstances haru cant understand why #everyone else seems so okay with that fact. #it's complex. and once she's got more of a chance to get to know goro herself she'll understand more. #but she's starting off with such a bitter impression of goro and By Extension akira. #her friendship with akira just Cant be the same. so i have to uhh figure that out lol. #i know where i want it to go. i think they can bond quite well over mutual interest in plants + coffee. #just gotta Uhhh deal with the baggage first lol #ive got my plans tho. gonna start putting them into place uhhhh. well. chapter 43 ish. #depending on if i do the giant 41 chapter or manage to make it into 41 with 42 being the anniversary chapter. #if i do that then it'll be 43. where i start putting some plans in place. #in the meantime. i just gotta sit goro down and tell him to not be TOO much of an asshole lmfao

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#i have so much focus ability rn wtf why cant i be like this all the time? #after weeks of being too depressed and out of focus now im like a fucking laser #it hasnt tipped out of control yet. usually when i can focus it goes too far. it is sorta on the edge tho #like kinda wanna just stay up all night getting stuff done. just slightly too much energy but im going hiking tomorrow so i gotta sleep #ugh thatll be a waste of focus time tho :-( #well at least my mood is up bc i also already found out that the project i was proposing at the school i was interviewing for was rejected #i dont feel too bad abt it tho. im not surprised. theres still a slight chance i could join the lab on another project but idk it might #be complicated with me being an international student. i just feel bad abt wasting the guys time tho #at least he likes me enough to still pull for me to join his lab. hes been v resposive too. maybe theres still a chance #i actually like this other project more than the one i proposed lmao. but cant get my hopes up lol #i have to finish all my other fucking applications lmao. me and my million applications #pls someone accept me. i promise ill interview better in future lol. at least i got further than the 15 other ppl who applied #i think they only accepted 2 projects #ah well. well see how long my mood holds out. i gotta get these manuscripts done #unrelated