#it feels like a shaking piece of jello on a platter | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

skin--slave · 4 years

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Marilyn Manson Albums as Jello Shot Recipes

Portrait Of An American Family:

2 pkg shoplifted jello, red or purple

2 cups water

1 cup pineapple vodka from the bottle dad keeps in the garage

Microwave one cup of water in a yellow Tupperware bowl for 2 minutes. Burn hands taking it out. Dump jello powder in. Stir until dissolved. Pour vodka in. Get a huge hit of alcohol vapor in the face. Put lid on container and put a piece of masking tape on it that says "Brussels sprouts." Refrigerate in the crisper under the celery until 2am. Add remaining cup of water to the vodka bottle and put it back. Enjoy lumpy sludge from permanently-stained bowl in the dark while playing air guitar along with your Walkman.

Smells Like Children:

1 pkg lime jello

1 pkg unflavored gelatin

1 cup hot tap water

1/4 cup Rebel Yell whiskey

1/4 cup cherry brandy

1/2 cup beer

Don't bother heating the water. It's probably hot enough. Add jello and gelatin. Stir. Realize it's not hot enough, but refuse to heat it up. Let it sit on the counter while you collect the other ingredients. Stir some more. Add alcohol. Keep stirring. Note that it's now a disgusting greenish brown and smells like a public men's room. Put the bowl in the refrigerator with no lid. Go out with friends and vandalize things. Come home drunk. Wake up with empty bowl beside you in bed.

Antichrist Superstar:

1 pkg cherry jello

1 pkg grape Flavor Aid

1 bottle (750ml) Taaka vodka

Open bottle. Carefully add jello and drink powder. Cover mouth of bottle with thumb. Shake vigorously until mixture turns black. Chug half. Pour remaining half on self. Throw bottle into the crowd.

Mechanical Animals:

1 pkg orange jello

1 pkg peach jello

1 cup water

1 and 1/4 cup Everclear, divided

1 can Mandarin oranges

Whipped cream

Plastic wine glasses

Run water through hotel coffee maker. Add jello to carafe. Stir until dissolved. Let mixture cool to room-temperature. Meanwhile, drain orange segments and pat dry on a white bathroom towel. Give zero fucks about the orange stains. Put oranges in a paper coffee cup and pour 1/4 cup Everclear over. Jerk off while they steep. Add remaining liquor to carafe and stir. Divide infused orange segments between glasses. Pour jello mix over the top. Place in hotel refrigerator until after the show. Enjoy jello and very impressed groupies with whipped cream.

Holy Wood (In The Shadow Of The Valley Of Death):

1 pkg instant chocolate pudding

1 cup chocolate liquor

1 cup milk

1 pkg unflavored gelatin

1/2 cup water

1/4 cup coffee liquor

Plastic cups

Whisk milk and chocolate liquor until well blended. Add pudding mix and continue whisking until completely dissolved. Pour pudding into cups, leaving ample headroom. Refrigerate at least 30 mins. Sprinkle gelatin over water in heat-safe container. Let stand at least 10 minutes while watching the news. Heat gelatin mixture until melted. Stir to dissolve. Set container in fridge to cool. Read the newspaper. Add coffee liquor to gelatin mixture. Pour over pudding in cups. Refrigerate 2hrs or until high school lets out. Enjoy the juxtaposition of childhood desserts with the bitterness and poison of adulthood.

The Golden Age Of Grotesque:

2 pkg unflavored gelatin

1 cup water

1/4 cup gin

1/2 cup champagne

2 Tbs fresh lemon juice

2 Tbs simple syrup

Individual half-sphere molds

Fresh lemon zest, black edible glitter and sugared violets for garnish

Sprinkle gelatin over water in a bain-marie (or a double boiler if you're poor). Let stand 10 minutes while you pick out your eye shadow. Heat gradually, stirring to dissolve. Allow to cool slightly. Add lemon juice, simple syrup, gin and champagne. Pour into half-sphere molds and refrigerate until firm (about 3 hours or as long as it takes to do your makeup). Carefully unmold. Press the base into black edible glitter and arrange on a serving platter. Top each with lemon zest and a single violet. Enjoy with people who deserve you.

Eat Me, Drink Me:

1 pkg strawberry jello

1 pkg unflavored gelatin

1 cup water

1 cup Kraken black rum

Fresh strawberries

Dipping chocolate, optional

Using a strawberry huller or paring knife, carefully cut the centers from strawberries. Hollow each berry out to mirror the hole in your heart. Save tops. Place each berry in a small paper cup to hold upright. Heat water and add gelatin to dissolve. Allow to cool slightly. Add rum and stir well. Transfer to a container with a spout for ease of pouring. Carefully fill each berry with gelatin mixture, just as your life is filled with failures and disappointments. Replace tops to hide the darkness. Refrigerate until firm, crying as necessary. Dip berries in chocolate if desired. Serve to those who have hurt you so that they can know what it is to find the inevitable black center of every romance.

The High End Of Low:

1 pkg blue raspberry jello

1 pkg watermelon or strawberry jello

1 cup water, divided

1 bottle (750ml) alcohol of choice

Heat 1/2 cup water in each of 2 separate coffee mugs. Wonder why you own coffee mugs when you don't drink coffee. Overthink that as a metaphor for life. Realize the water's getting cold. Add 1 jello pkg to each. Stir slowly, watching the granules try to dissolve. What's that sound? Answer the phone. Insist that you're fine. Go back to staring at the jello mixtures. Absently add one to the other, playing with the colors. Decide to see how the mixture looks on a canvas. Take the bottle with you. Close the door. Stay there for 3 days. Do not enjoy it.

Born Villain:

2 pkg unflavored gelatin

1 cup water

1/2 cup Smirnoff vodka, any flavor

2-3 tsp each magnesium citrate, pickle or sauerkraut juice, Sprite, liquid sweetener, salt water, Tabasco, clam juice, apple or grape juice, clear liquors in various flavors

1 pkg (4 colors: red, blue, yellow, green) liquid food coloring

Small paper cups

Twister spinner

Sprinkle gelatin over water in glass 2-cup measuring cup. Let stand 10 minutes. Microwave 1 minute. Stir to dissolve. Let cool slightly. Meanwhile, add 1 tsp of an assorted liquid to each cup. Arrange randomly on a table. Add vodka to gelatin mixture and stir. Pour into prepared cups. Add a drop of food coloring to each cup, alternating colors. Stir each with a toothpick. Refrigerate 2 hours or until set. Invite people over. Take turns spinning and choosing shots. Wait for someone to vomit or shit their pants. Call it performance art. Enjoy thourally.

The Pale Emperor:

1 pkg unflavored gelatin

1/2 cup water, divided

4 sugar cubes or 4 tsp sugar

1/2 cup Powers Irish whiskey

16 dashes Agnostura bitters

1 tsp orange zest, optional

Sprinkle gelatin over 1/4 cup water. Let stand 10 minutes. Heat remaining water. Add sugar and stir to dissolve. Don't worry if there are some granules left. You're a grown man. Add hot syrup to gelatin mixture. Stir to dissolve gelatin. Add orange zest if desired. Stir in whiskey and bitters. Refrigerate until set. Enjoy alone while taking stock of your life and feeling good about your accomplishments.

Heaven Upside Down:

1 pkg watermelon or strawberry jello

1 pkg blue raspberry jello

1 cup water, divided

2/3 cup decent vodka, divided

6-10 ice cubes

Gold edible glitter

Heat 1/2 cup water in each of 2 separate containers. Add one pkg of jello to each. Stir well and let cool. Lightly oil a standard loaf pan and place in the freezer to chill. Add 1/3 cup vodka to each cooled gelatin mixture. Stir well. Add 3-5 ice cubes to each bowl and stir until ice melts. Gelatin should be thickened but not set. Spoon randomly into chilled pan. Tap bottom of pan against counter to reduce air pockets. Refrigerate 1 hr or until set. Unmold onto a platter and slice. Sprinkle with glitter. Enjoy with loyal friends.

#marilyn manson albums as #marilyn manson #jelloshots #recipes #sorry long post #im on mobile #so no breaks 😒#but i thought you might like these #been thinking about making jello shots for st patricks day #jello is good for you #and so is marilyn manson #😏😏😏#pickman got freaked out i think bc my knee got fucked while i was working out and i yelped and cursed #he was waiting when i came upstairs #and hes been clingy ever since #so while he was laying on my tiddies being a very sweet boy #i made dis #q

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pixieungerstories · 5 years

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Housemates - 19

Vinny really was planning on going for a run, but it turns out cumming so hard that your legs shake leaves you with muscle cramps afterwards. Not in the same places that Derick left her aching though. She snorted into Tristan’s pillow imagining what kind of work out you would need or could get fucking. The phrase ‘three more reps on the minotaur, then back to the werewolf’ floated through her mind.

As it was she was sitting gingerly on a chair (not Kevin, she checked) drinking coffee and eating toast as Derick was out for his run by himself.

Tristan had fixed her breakfast, then kissed her head on his way out to work. Now it was just her and Kogan who was reading the paper with his glasses perched on the end of his nose.

He sighed and put down the paper. As he took off his reading glasses, Kogan looked at her, “Are you alright?”

“Sure?”

“Did Derick pressure you into sleeping with Tristan?”

Vinny blinked, “Not exactly.”

Kogan narrowed his eyes and looked at her. Vinny looked away. Kogan made the strangest little orc noise that there really wasn’t a human equivalent for, it startled Vinny enough that she looked back at him. “Look. I’m not bothered by who you choose to fuck, as long as it is your choice. Hell, you’ve never been to an orc wedding, but remember that bar I took you to? It had a pool table. Orcs have group marriages and the wedding is basically we put down a drop cloth and watch while everyone welcomes the new member to the family. It’s a pool table because we break less substantial furniture. I’m not trying to shame you, but I will kick the pup’s head in if this wasn’t your choice.”

Vinny nearly choked on her toast at that last bit. “I was raised catholic; I needed a push to get over the monogamy thing. But it was my choice and I knew I could say no.”

Kogan nodded. “Good.” He put his glasses back on and opened the paper with a snap. “It’s OK if you need to take some time to process all of that. Just because it happened once doesn’t mean you have to make it a regular thing. Not unless you want to.”

Vinny finished her breakfast and headed to the kitchen. As soon as her back was turned, Kevin called out, “Kogan wants his name on your roster but is too afraid to ask.”

Vinny froze then peeked over her shoulder. Kogan had his eyes fixed firmly on his paper but was blushing. “Is that true?”

“I’m too old for you.”

“That isn’t a no,” Kevin pointed out.

Vinny could only reply, “Huh.”

“You’re going to be late for class,” Kogan said without looking at her.

“Shit!” Vinny hobbled off.

----

That night, Vinny made a platter of Smitten Kitchen’s ratatouille and quinoa. It smelled amazing and everyone dived right in, chatting about how their days went. Vinny just watched them all in awe. It really was like one big family.

She didn’t know how to ask what she really needed to know. She had be practicing in her head all afternoon, but she still wasn’t sure how to even ask. So she sat there picking at her food, lost in thought.

“Vinny?” Thea asked. “Are you ok?”

“I’m fine.”

“Really? Because you’ve moved that piece of pepper four times, but you aren’t actually eating anything.”

That made people stop and look up at her.

“I have no idea how to even bring this up and I’m terribly afraid that mentioning it will be another case of me being hugely misinformed except even worse than the jello incident.” Vinny was prattling a bit but working up to it.

Derick, cleared his throat and gave her an out, “This is about us all being a pack marriage, isn’t it?”

Vinny swallowed and nodded, “Is that really true?”

They were all quiet for a moment.

Then Kevin announced, “Yup!” and dived into dinner.

Vinny blinked. “Yup? Just like that? I hate to say this, but could someone who isn’t Kevin comment?”

Thea went next, “Which answer will make you not quit? I don’t want you to leave, Vinny.”

“I’m not planning on quitting,” she replied.

“Are you sure?” Thea pressed. “If we are, your mom would want you to quit.”

Vinny licked her lips, “Ma only gets any say in her own sex life. Not any of yours, or mine.”

That made Kevin stop eating. Vinny hadn’t figured out how to reliably tell if he was looking at her or not, but everyone else was, with a faint deer in the headlights expression, now that she thought about it. She coughed, “Is that a yes then?”

There was a round of everyone avoiding her gaze.

Kogan was the one who finally owned up, “It isn’t really a formal thing. We just sort of help out when needed. So, in the spring, when-”

“Don’t,” Thea whimpered.

Kogan stopped for a moment then said, “We’ve got nothing to be ashamed of son.”

Bazur shrugged, “I’m ace, but I’m not averse to giving someone a hand, if they need one.”

Vinny looked at Dren, who shrugged, “I like warm wet spaces, except I taste with my whole body. Kevin is adaptable. The others don’t really do it for me, but I can make warm wet spaces for them if they need it.”

“So… all of you are having sex with each other on a ‘as needed’ basis?”

Slow nodding. Kogan helped himself to some quinoa, “What brings this up?”

Vinny took some then passed the casserole to the left. “I kind of took advantage of Tristan last night.”

“No, you didn’t.”

“And it’s nice having someone to cuddle with.” Vinny continued, ignoring him.

Kevin snickered, “I’ll cuddle any time you want.”

“Can you say that without sounding sinister?” Dren asked.

Derick frowned, “I don’t think he can, actually, but I think it’s fairly safe to say we all consider you part of the family.”

Vinny rolled her eyes, she wasn’t really worried about him. There were three of the guys who barely interacted with her. She was worried this would be a problem for them and they wouldn’t say until it got really bad. “Well, I know you do, but there are practical considerations. Like how is Bazur going to feel if he’s not the only one who comes to movie night not wearing pants?”

“Honestly, it would take some of the pressure off,” Bazur admitted. “I’m not good at remembering. I have had to put a sticky note up on the doors in my bedroom and office.”

Vinny nodded, “Dren, you have enough stress in your life, I don’t want to add to it. Thea - I make you uncomfortable. I’m glad you don’t want me to quit but I don’t want you to be any more weirded out by me than you already are.”

Dren shrugged as he was slowly dissolving and absorbing a piece of eggplant. “You won’t stress me out. And anytime you need someone to keep you warm, my bathtub is your bathtub.”

Vinny blinked as she tried to imagine how that would work. She would need to wax everywhere for that. But Dren was warm and silky and gave great massages.

Derick’s nose twitched and suddenly he was grinning. Vinny blushed and looked at her plate, then she caught herself and forced herself to met Dren’s gaze. He was still very calm and off hand. Nothing ever seemed to phase him. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

Dren nodded. “Please do. I’m not big enough or scary enough to walk you home after class, but I would be more than happy to wait up for you.”

Thea just nodded, wide eyed and silent.

It was Kogan who said, “Anything you need, you can come to me,” but there was a chorus of agreement from around the table.

Vinny had no idea what to say to that, so she just nodded, “Thank you.” After a bite of zucchini she managed, “I promise not to be upset if any of you ask me, if you are also OK if I say no sometimes.” That was met with a thoughtful silence, so she continued, “I don’t want to be rude but I do want to get this all out on the table. Bazur isn’t paying me to fuck you-”

“I certainly am not!” the gargoyle sounded somewhat offended.

“But I… don’t mind a friends with benefits arrangement as long everyone is polite about it and everyone is ok with saying no, if they want. On an as needed basis.”

Tristan cleared his throat, “While we are getting it all out there, we have a no pictures policy, for obvious reasons.”

Vinny blinked, “I hadn’t really considered that.”

Tristan gave her a look, “You should. No revenge porn.” Everyone was nodded.

“That sounds reasonable. Anything else?”

“Kevin can make his dick look like a rubber duck!” Thea blurted out before covering his mouth with both hands.

Kevin snorted, “Yeah, and if you rub it, it will get hard and then squirt you.”

Vinny looked at Kogan, “Really?”

Kogan shrugged, “Sadly, yes, so if you see a rubber duck sitting on a chair or table, you may want to think twice before picking it up.”

“Your dick is a duck,” she said flatly.

“Or a tentacle, or the usual boring shape. Lady’s choice,” he grinned showing off those needle like teeth mimics are famous for.

“Huh.”

-----

Kogan picked Vinny up after late class. The first thing he said once they were out of ear shot of her friends was, “Now, really, how do you feel about all of this?”

“Kogan, I’m here on a scholarship. I don’t have time for a boyfriend who is going to get pissy because he wants to take me to a frat party and I have a paper due on Monday. I really don’t have time for the emotional turmoil of finding out he went without me and had a threesome with Trish and Olivia.”

“Christ. Someone did that to you?”

“Yeah, second year. The thing is, I still like sex. I just need it to be simple.”

Kogan shook his head, “What you need is someone who will be respectful.” He thought for a few moments, then added, “Or someones. That I can promise we have covered.”

“Except for Kevin.”

“Kevin is an asshole, but I’ve never seen him be malicious just mischievous. He was really angry with himself after the jello thing. He wanted to have some power in the relationship. Something to tease you about. He wasn’t really thinking. He’s been better since then, hasn’t he?”

Vinny had to think about that. “He may have downgraded from asshole to jerk. Sometimes I can see that he’s trying. Other times he’s…” she struggled for a moment and settled on “dismissive. Like what I think doesn’t really matter.”

Kogan nodded, “You have power over him. What he eats. What shell care he gets. If he gets to go out. That pisses him off. He likes you anyway and that pisses him off even more. I’m afraid Mr Moodswing is just going to be like that for a while.”

By then they had crossed campus and Vinny laughed as she opened the door.

There was a new front entry way table.

It had a rubber ducky sitting on it.

Vinny ignored it as she walked up the stairs. As she made it to the first landing, she heard Kogan say, “Son, that woman is carrying a good twenty pounds of textbooks. You are very lucky she didn’t just drop them on your duck.”

As she looked over her shoulder, she saw the duck melt and be absorbed into the table. She chuckled all the way to her room.

#werewolf #orc #Minotaur #mimic #gargoyle #slime #drider #terato #exophilia

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