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whumpcereal · 2 years

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behavior modification, part eighteen

<previous, Masterlist here.

I guess this is to balance out all the sweetness of yesterday's installment? While you're reading this, just remember that everything will be okay? Maybe? I mean, it will DEFINITELY be okay, just that MAYBE it will help you to remember that.

content warnings for sensory deprivation, general disorientation, emotional manipulation, negative self-talk, restraints, blindfolds, muzzles, forced stimulation, referenced future noncon, light medical whump, and Ivan Peters being himself

part eighteen, jack loses joe

Jack doesn’t understand what’s happening to him. He feels arms lift him from the table, and they are not Joe’s arms, but still, he is sure that they are. Joe is here. Isn’t he? He heard him. He still hears him–”It’s alright, Jackie. I know. I know.”--but the voice isn’t Joe’s. Except that it must be.

He doesn’t want Joe to touch him. Fingertips slide against his skin, and the feeling–the tickle-itch-ache–is bone-deep, radiating through bits and pieces of himself he didn’t know he could feel. He isn’t sure that it hurts, exactly, but the sensation is too much.

“Joe,” he says, or at least he tries to say. His mouth feels like it’s stuffed with cotton, and his voice is too loud in his head. “Joe–”

“Shh,” says the voice that isn’t Joe’s.

Jack tries to raise his head, but he can’t. The motion makes his core tremble, and he lets his head dangle backward. He wants to look, to see who it is that’s holding him, to see Joe, but when his eyes crack open, he can’t see at all. The light is too bright, and everything is fuzzy. He closes his eyes again.

Pounding steps jolt Jack’s body, shifting something deep inside of him. The beads. He groans.

“Don’t worry, Jackie. You’re okay. You’re alright.”

It feels like he’s rising into the air. He doesn’t understand. Where is he going? Where is Joe taking him?

“Jackie, you’re such a good boy. Such a good boy for Joe.”

Jack is a good boy. A sweet boy.

Somewhere, the thought lingers that Joe wouldn’t say that to him. But Jack can’t grasp it, and it fades away.

There’s a beeping that should be gentle, but the frequency is searing. Jack jerks against the arms that hold him. The sound–he can’t–

“You’re fine, baby. I promise.”

A gentle click. The air is suddenly different. Softer, warmer. It isn’t musty–it smells sweet, almost cloying. Jack turns his face into soft cotton to blot it out, his cheek brushing against the hard plastic of what might be shirt buttons.

“P-please,” Jack whimpers, and he can feel his lips crack with the effort. The pain is sharp, and he tastes iron.

“We’re almost there. I’m going to take such good care of you, because you’ve been such a good boy.”

And then, his back slips against smooth fabric, and his head sinks into something soft. The arms shift from underneath him. They aren’t moving anymore.

“There you are, Jackie. Doesn’t that feel nice?”

It does. It shouldn’t, but it does.

Jack tries again to open his eyes, and this time, the light is softer. The shapes still move and shift in ways they should not, but he can make more sense of what he sees.

He is not where he was. He’s in a bed–a bedroom. And the face that leans over his is not Joe’s.

“Look at those pretty blue eyes,” Ivan coos. His face is blurry and distorted, like in a funhouse mirror. Jack doesn’t want to look at him.

“Joe,” Jack says. He turns his head too fast, and the world sways. He closes his eyes again. “I wan’--”

“You’re not ready for Joe, baby. Not quite yet.”

Jack doesn’t know what that means. He already belongs to Joe, and Joe belongs to him–no, Joe belonged to him. No one belongs to Jack. Jack belongs to others. Doesn’t he? His brain is a tangle of half-thoughts that don’t quite make sense, and he doesn’t know how to unwind them.

Maybe Joe–but no, Joe wouldn’t–but what if–

Ivan’s hand stops his thoughts, meaty fingers sliding over Jack’s chest and down his naked torso. Jack tries to wriggle away, but he can’t move. His arms are stuck to his sides, and his legs stop short of spreading.

The chains. The cuffs. The fucking belt. He remembers. He does.

He’s still trapped.

“Please,” he says. His chest is tight and his throat pinches like he’s crying, but his face is dry. “Le’me go.”

Ivan chuckles, and Jack feels sour breath on his face. A finger traces his cheek. “Go? Go where?”

“Home. Home. P-please.”

He has a home. He thinks he does. He’s almost sure.

“This is your home now, Jackie. You know that.”

Cold fear lights into Jack’s spine. He’s suddenly more alert, and his terror bursts inside his skull like fireworks. He trembles, and the cuffs chafe his skin.

This isn’t home. He doesn’t belong here. Ivan took him. He didn’t choose this. And Joe–

Joe wasn’t there. He left Jack alone. Ivan knew Jack was alone. How could he–

“You’re here to learn, aren’t you?” Ivan murmurs. He presses a gentle kiss to Jack’s forehead. “To improve?”

What if–what if Joe–

“No,” Jack whispers, and then his voice is wild. “NO!” He jerks, but his limbs are still restrained, and his body flops back against the bed. The intrusion in his behind digs deeper, and he throws his body, trying to adjust. “Joe! Joe, please!”

“Stop it,” Ivan snarls, and Jack’s head vibrates with a slap he isn’t prepared for.

His vision gutters, and he thinks he might be sick. When he opens his eyes again, a bright light is centered on his face; Ivan’s phone is pointed at him.

“We’ll send this to Joe, won’t we? Show him how naughty you’re being. You’re not good enough for him, Jackie. Not like this.”

Jack squeezes his eyes shut, but the light is still too bright, even behind his eyelids. He doesn’t understand. Joe tried to warn him about Ivan. He wouldn’t have sent him here. Ivan’s working for WRU, not for Joe.

Isn’t he?

“Don’t you want to be good?” Ivan presses. He scratches his nails down Jack’s bare chest, digging them hard into his skin. Jack moans. It’s too much. “That’s all you’re allowed to want, baby. I know Joe wants you to be better for him. Why do you think you’re here?”

It can’t be true. It isn’t true. Joe wouldn’t–

But he might.

He was there in the basement, his voice raw inside Jack’s head.

Jack tries again to shake his head, but nausea rolls deep in his gut. He can’t stop shaking. The jingle of the delicate chains that hold him together is like an alarm bell ringing inside his head.

Joe.

Jack should have known better than to think he would ever be enough for someone like Joe. Of course Joe would be frustrated. Of course he would want more than what Jack can give him.

But Joe still wants him. Just more of him. From him. Jack’s brain tries to wrap around it. That’s why–that’s why–

Jack swallows bile as Ivan’s fingertips prod at the top of the chastity device.

“Jackie? I asked you a question. Why do you think you’re here?”

“I–I don’t know. I don’t know!”

He thought he knew. He doesn’t now. He doesn’t know anything.

Ivan’s free hand seizes Jack’s jaw, holding Jack’s head in place while the rest of him quivers against the sheets. Ivan leans close, and he bruises Jack’s dry lips with his own. It isn’t a kiss, not really. It’s a reminder. Of what Jack is and where his value lies.

“You do know,” Ivan snarls.

“No,” Jack cries hoarsely, and then he repeats the word over and over until it isn’t a word anymore, just unintelligible sounds. He doesn’t want to know.

He aches for Joe, even though he shouldn’t. Joe used to remind him that he was better than this, that he could be more.

He just wasn’t enough.

“You’re lucky that you need water and rest before I put you back in that bag,” Ivan says impatiently. He shoves Jack’s face away from him in disgust. “I thought you’d be more amenable after all of that, but I can see it wasn’t enough. Not for a brilliant boy like my Jackie.” He leans close again. “Like Joe’s Jackie.”

Jack can’t form words anymore, but Joe’s name sits on his tongue like a bitter pill.

“I was going to be sweet with you,” Ivan says. “I was going to make you feel so good. But I can see that we’re not ready for that. Reinforcement is only for a desired behavior. There’s nothing about what you’ve done in the last twenty minutes that is desirable. I think Joe would be ashamed.” He shakes his head, a parody of an apologetic smile on his lips. “Naturally, you’ll need to be punished.”

Ivan sighs, and he slips something from his pocket. He fiddles with Jack’s collar, and Jack’s neck is suddenly wrenched backward at an awkward angle, his chin digging into his chest. He feels a tug, and he realizes that Ivan’s leashed him to the headboard. Jack can’t move without strangling himself.

Ivan hums and slides his bedside drawer open, and Jack gurgles against the pressure at his throat. When Ivan turns back, he is holding the muzzle.

“I’m glad I thought to bring some of our training tools up here. That will save us time.”

The metal bit is shoved across Jack’s dry tongue and the strap buckled fast behind his head. The leather sticks to his bloody lips, and thirst suddenly consumes him. Water. Even addled as his mind is, Jack knows he has to have water. He can’t drink with his mouth trapped behind the muzzle. He tries to plead, to whine, but his throat is so parched that the sounds crack and fade before they even reach his mouth.

Ivan ignores him and reaches into the drawer. This time, he pulls out a long strip of dark fabric.

“I think we might keep the deprivation going, even while you refuel. Calm you down again.”

The fabric slips over Jack’s eyes, and everything is dark again. His breath is cut off when Ivan tilts his head to knot the blindfold.

He is not calm.

“You’re going to stay here in this bed,” Ivan says, “and you’re going to rest.”

Ivan’s weight disappears from the bed, and Jack wishes he had tears to cry. He may not be trapped in the leather bag, but he is still a prisoner. He is still lost–and the only person who might look for him is the one who put him here.

He doesn’t know how long it is before he feels Ivan settle next to him again. One of Jack’s wrists is untethered from the belt, and his arm is twisted over at the elbow. Ivan’s knuckles slap against Jack’s skin, and then something sharp slides beneath it. Jack’s entire body tenses, and his collar presses tight against his throat.

He wonders if he’ll ever be without the collar again.

“Turns out that phlebotomy certification back in med school was worth something,” Ivan says, wiggling the sharp point further into Jack’s arm. An IV, then. “That should bring your fluids back up while your punishment is administered.”

Jack squeezes his eyes shut beneath the blindfold. As if this isn’t punishment enough.

And then, the beads inside of him suddenly rocket to life again. The vibration is so fast that it practically burns. Jack shreds a broken groan behind the muzzle.

“This is a slow drip, Jackie.” Jack feels the needle shift as Ivan tugs at the line. “And those beads will stay on until it’s gone. And then, when you’re done, you’ll show me how much you’d like to avoid this in the future. You’ll show Joe what you can do when you’re pushed to perform.”

Perform. Jack knows how to perform. He’s just forgotten. He can do this. He has to. If only Joe will take him away from here, he’ll do anything. Even if it means that they aren’t what they once were.

He’ll be a good boy. A sweet boy. The way he was always meant to be.

There’s a soft click, and, distantly, Jack is aware that Ivan’s taken a picture. A picture that he’ll send to Joe, so Joe knows that Jack is progressing the way that he should.

Fingers card through Jack’s sweat-damp hair and then slide down past his jaw, over this throat, to his chest. Ivan’s fingers close around Jack’s nipple, and Jack jolts, cutting off his own air. The breathlessness only heightens the thrum of the beads, but when he grinds his ass down into the sheets, his collar pulls tighter. He sputters, and Ivan laughs.

“I knew you wanted this, Jackie. If you can handle this, maybe I’ll consider making you feel good the way I’d planned. And then, we’ll zip you right back up again–and maybe, you’ll behave better the next time I let you out.” He leans close to Jack’s ear. “I know Joe would appreciate it.”

next>

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#behavior modification #jack kenyon oc #is in a very rough place right now #ivan peters oc #is a piece of shit #tw implied future noncon #tw restraints #joe prescott oc #this is the rough stuff #emotional whump #creepy/intimate whumper

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randomshenaniganery · 1 year

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Xenophobia, homophobia, and government fear mongering in the Philippines

My mother was telling me to not go to this specific college because a lot of Muslims started to go to school there for engineering and it is her firm belief that they are all applying for engineering because they’re going to make more bombs.

Me and my aunt told her she was being racist she said not it’s true. I asked her where did she get this from and she replied with “homeland security” which is a fucking AMERICAN TV SHOW I slapped my forehead so hard my aunt looked like she lost all hope.

we’re not even American we live in the Philippines and she’s being affected by the stupid propaganda and refuses to listen to reason because she’s catholic and therefore anyone with literally any religion besides her must be either stupid and ignorant or very evil.

I tried to explain to her that terrorists and Muslims were not the same thing and she just won’t fucking listen.

This is the same shit as her telling me not to go to a different college because they force people to go naked and wear paper bags on their heads during freedom day or else they’ll get failed by their professors. Turns out that this was the result of propaganda against activism and since that specific college encourages students to exercise their right to have rallies they are a lot of dipshits spreading lies or contorting things to make it look wrong.

By the way the school is the University of the Philippines in Cebu if you hear wacky rumors about this place regarding the naked people with paper bags and very anti-activism remarks don’t fall for it, they’re most likely lies and made specifically for people to not go there because they don’t want people to disagree with them on political agendas.

Very recently during my ROTC for our National Service Training Program. The ROTC director said that she was against activism because of the New People’s Army. Now firstly the new people’s army are not activists they are terrorists those are two different things.

But because she used activism instead of terrorism she’s immediately attaching a bad rep to it and since this is a government funded college that has free tuition a lot of the students are not that well versed in English to know what activism actually means. And because they don’t know what activism means they’ll just immediately attach activism to a group of terrorists who have killed people and they’ll think that being an activist is a bad thing.

This is how they do it, in college they indoctrinate you with misinformation and heavily biased views without showing the whole picture so that you get tunnel vision and you do exactly as they say.

They do not want leaders that want people who will do what they want and think they way they want them to.

I do not have the ability as of the moment to do a very in depth explanation of everything since they do not talk about this to me. I am surrounded by die hard catholics, my family is very involved in the church, they are not the kind of people i’d want to tell who i voted for because when i did my aunt immediately made fun of it.

A lot of my family has very unfortunately voted for Marcos I loathe my aunt for that and also my uncle. He voted for Marcos because he didn’t want Leni to make gay rights and abortion legal. My aunt is a fucking piece of shit of course she would vote for Marcos she had no problem beating me in school in her office its not a far cry for her to vote the son of a dictator who’s showering is thieving mother with presents as if she fucking deserves it. My grandfather had voted for duterte because he’s sexist, an idiot who claims not to be an idiot, and duterte’s marketing was very heavy to people like him.

Once while we were in a mall we passed by a stall where a muslim woman was selling clothes. My grandmother said “that’s what she gets for being Muslim” and it shocked me so hard and it was just so baffling because my grandmother also owned a small store that sold miscellaneous items. I didn’t say anything because I did not expect that from my grandmother, my mom? sure she’s stupid like yeah you can solve algebra and you’re quick at maths but you lack the ability to comprehend that just because there are bad people in a religion doesn’t mean EVERYONE with that religion is bad.

A lot of why people especially those that come from the provinces are like this is because they don’t have a lot of access to unbiased news or an outside view of our country. I used to be like them until the moment I was allowed more freedom to the internet and I could see just how bad everything actually is now that no one is holding my hand and closing my eyes.

People are straight up denying what happened during the Martial Law because of how Marcos has started to represent himself online. The Martial Law wasn’t that long ago so many people are still fucking alive from that time and just a few years ago before Duterte and the entirety of his fuckery came we all knew that the martial law was a bad time and it hurt and killed so many Filipinos.

By the heavens do not let people forget the past and ruin our future. Stop voting people who come from political families and control the country to benefit them.

13 million idiots voted for Marcos and I’m not going to forgive or forget this.

Also for Duterte and all of his stupid wars

FUCK YOU

There’s more by the way. This shit doesn’t end.

Regarding the abortion rights and reproductive health. Its no surprise that the Philippines is a backwards country. They really hammer down the why would you kill a baby it’s a gift from god thing really hard.

They prefer abstinence over actually teaching the students how to not get pregnant, how to not get STDS and how their body works. Just because it’s called sex education doesn’t mean the teacher is going to only talk about how to do sex and why you should do it.

Just because abortion would be turned legal doesn’t mean EVERYONE is going to abort the baby. There is a stupid amount of teenage pregnancy because you refuse to teach them how to have sex safely and because you have no problem with ruining the lives of everyone concerned with the young teenager but you have a big problem with getting rid of a pack of cells.

I’ve heard so many stories of how many women have had their lives ruined because they were forced to raise a child that young. There is a very tiny generational gap between the mothers and their children. They do not have the emotional maturity to be in charge of a baby of raising an entire person. A lot of them will lose their identity, their dreams and their opportunities because you’re so far up your ass you can’t even consider their choice on the matter. Never force someone to carry a baby because pregnancy is not all fun times and rainbows and neither are babies.

I love kids but i understand how stressful it is to live with barely any sleep because of the crying, the feeding, and the cleaning. This doesn’t happen to rich people this always is a problem with those without the money to support themselves.

The same thing with gay people we did not have homophobia before the Spaniards came in. In fact in the Filipino language there is no he/she/him/her there is literally only they/them/you the only time you find out someone’s gender is when it’s explicitly said so. According to a spaniard’s diary documenting their interactions with the Filipinos of that time there was a person who didn’t like women, dressed in woman’s clothes and did women’s tasks but lived alone and explicitly avoided physical contact and the guy was just like ‘HUH I wonder why that man was so weird.’ (this is from a translated book that we do not own I only get to see pictures of it from someone I see in twitter the only public copy near me is one in Sydney Australia).

They use the sodom and gammorah bit of the bible so hard hell it worked on me until I started to realize that this was all horseshit and I’m an asshole.

One time I had to listen to a priest say that “oh loving a man is fine biologically but Spiritually that’s wrong don’t be gay because its not right god doesn’t want you to be gay” this is the same priest who says “There are so many condominiums are around why are there still homeless people?” and also every time in every fucking homily he mentions how “wives should never leave their husband no matter how hard they beat you because God put you in that marriage”

I hate that priest with all my fucking body his name is Father Ciano Ubod he has a Youtube channel most of the people who watch him are all women and the fact that he’s telling women to not leave their abusive husbands instead of saying HEY maybe you shouldn’t beat your spouse? Because you know hurting people is WRONG he tells them to suck it up and love them.

You may be a priest but your views drag you to hell.

Now this priest isn’t all bad because the only thing I agree with him is that you shouldn’t beat your children but also its ironic hurting kids is wrong but leaving your husband who’s hurting you is also wrong. Fuck you father ciano I hope you choke on a sausage and realize god doesn’t give a shit about you.

In Summary: people raise children to have tunnel vision and use fear tactics to control how they see anyone who opposes their agenda, the church is a carcass that attracts flies and maggots to powerful positions and affect the daily lives of everyone who has the misfortune of listening to them, Marcos is someone who pretends like his father and mother didn’t steal Billions of money from the Philippine government while abusing the country and then escaping, anyone who voted for him are ignorant and mislead or are pieces of shit on fire.