Ballister: So do I have a son or daughter today?
Nimona: Seeing as you got pizza with pineapples on it, today you have an enemy!
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Nimona: Good morning father figure
Ballister staring into his 4th cup of coffee: Good morning demon child
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*during their training years*
Ambrosius staring longingly at Ballister while sighing: He's so handsome.
Todd not minding his business: You shouldn't feel jealous of him at all dude, I can guarantee you're better looking.
Ambrosius: I'm not being jealous you dumb-fuck I'm being gay.
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Nimona to Ballister: I am older than you'll ever be able to imagine. I have watched civilizations rise and fall, leaders and monuments who proclaim they'll be remembered forever crumble into dust. I observed the development of language, the first clumsy attempts at communication as your species found its tentative footing. I was there when humans first climbed down from the trees and looked up at the endless swath of stars. I have seen the changing of the landscape; mountains and valleys are not created overnight. I have seen the water slowly carve its way through the rock, creating raging rivers, and then dry up again. I have existed beyond your comprehension.
Nimona: So I think I should be allowed to say fuck
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Nimona: hey boss!
Ballister: ...
Nimona: so you may be wondering why i am taped to the ceiling...
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That one tiktok trend but Nimona and Ballister:
Nimona, committing numerous crimes and threatening a man:
Ballister: Look at my son! Pride is not the word I'm looking for.
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Nimona: I’ve got an appetite for destruction
Ballister: if you cut out our cookies to spell ‘destruction’ I’m kicking you out of the house
Nimona *nibbles on a crudely cut R shape*: okay
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Nimona: Reverse tooth fairy where you leave money under your pillow and the tooth fairy comes and leaves you a bunch of teeth.
Ballister: Why?
Nimona, shaking a bag of teeth: Just because.
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Ambrosius: the darling menace is up
Ballister: before my coffee they're your gremlin
Ambrosius: uh-uh, you said before sunrise the gremlin was mine, it's past sunrise, Bal.
Ballister, sighing into his coffee: fair enough, lover
Nimona: you guys are lucky I'm too invested in breakfast to say anything back
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Waitress: What would you like?
Nimona: I wish to devour the unborn!
Ballister: Eggs. She’s saying she wants eggs.
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Ballister: you’re so fucking weird
Nimona: I try my best.
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Ambrosius: .... Man, revenge is underrated, that felt awesome!
Nimona: RIGHT?!
Ballister dragging them both away from the scene: What is wrong with the both of you?!
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Nimona: when I interact with a new object, I’m gonna look at it for a little bit. I’m gonna reach out, poke it, see if it moves around. I’ll pick it up, wiggle it back and forth…
Nimona: and then that thing goes all the way in my mouth.
Nimona: and if it doesn’t try to get OUT of my mouth… it’s going down the hatch.
Nimona: if you ask me, it’s a pretty good way to do things
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Ballister: FOUR MONTHS—
Ambrosius: What’s wrong with him?
Nimona, trying to hold in a laugh: It's nothing really…
Ballister: THAT’S HOW LONG YOU STOOD BY AND WATCHED ME WATER A FAKE PLANT!
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