#incorrect ikepri quotes

[clavissionary-position]

Clavis: Remember, Cyran. If I start nodding off, you have my permission to slap me

Cyran: I don't need your permission

Clavis: What

Cyran: I said I'm ready for the mission

Clavis: Good, good! Hahaha

Clavis: ....

Clavis: Not a huge slap or anything. Just a little one will do

Cyran: Of course

Clavis: I'm a light-sleeper. You could even just gently mime the slap and I'd be up

Cyran: Sure

Cyran: If you want to risk it

Clavis: Risk what

Cyran: The chance that you don't wake up because my slap was too weak

Clavis: ...

Clavis: Do you just need to get this slap out of your system? I'm really feeling the 10 years worth of build-up behind it

Cyran: Oh no. No no no. I couldn't do that. I work for you now. And you're a prince

Clavis: Both of those things are still true when I'm asleep

Cyran: If you're not consciously being a prince and consciously being my employer, then it's fine if I unconsciously slap you to the moon

Clavis: ...

Clavis: KAI! HUGO! YOUR BEAUTIFUL EMPLOYER REQUESTS AID

*definitely regurgitated this scene from something, so I'm not taking any credit for it. If you know what this reminds you of, feel free to let me know!

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[daisiesandshakes]

Chevalier: I am stone cold and ruthless. I am a killer, second prince of Rhodolite, the brutal beast. I have no heart-

Emma: *smiles*

Chevalier:

Chevalier: .. Fuck.

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[redheadkittys]

Clavis: Belle has invited me to her room...

Cyran: You're not going, are you?

Clavis: Well...

Cyran: 😳!

Clavis: If you had any Idea how much pain she is in! Belle is reaching out for me to rescue her from Sariel and his teaching style, from the boring food, from my Brothers! If i can make her forget for a few hours, wouldn't it be heartless of me to deny myself to her?

Cyran: Did you say something? Your Penis was talking so loud i couldn't hear!!!

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[ikemen-roses]

Chevalier: You often use humor to deflect trauma.

Clavis: Thank you~

Chevalier: I didn’t say it was a good thing.

Clavis: What I’m hearing is, you think I’m funny

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[ghosty--spice]

Rio: “Until Silvio accepts my apology, this open wound will hinder any progress he might make toward getting into the Good Place.”

Rio: “Also, I'm going to strangle him, which will hinder any air from getting into his lungs.”

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[queen-dahlia]

Modern AU...

Cop: "You’re receiving a ticket for having three people on one motorcycle."

Jin: "Shit."

Licht: "Wait, three?"

Cop: "Yeah?"

Leon: "OH MY GOD YVES FELL OFF!!!"

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[another-bunny]

Clavis: Emma is playing hard to get.

Clavis: Little did she know, i'm a master at playing hard to get rid of.

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[leonscape]

Leon : *sharpens knife* We've got ways of making people talk.

Leon : *cuts piece of cake*

Jin: ...Can I have some?

Leon : Cake is for talkers.

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[slowlypalefire]

Chevalier: Belle, what does IDK, ILY, and TTYL mean?

Belle: I don't know, I love you, talk to you later.

Chevalier: Ok, I love you too, I'll just ask Clavis.

---

Belle: I need life advice.

Sariel: You came to the right person.

---

Clavis: If something happend to Belle.... i couldn't live with myself.

Keith: Of course you wouldn't have to because Gilbert would kill you.

---

Gilbert: Who hurt you?

Belle: No one.

Gilbert: Belle...

Belle: Do you want a list?

Gilbert*takes out his weapon*: Yes.

---

Gilbert: Something's off.

Clavis: Maybe you've finally developed normal emotions and feel bad for hurting everyone.

Gilbert: No, but that IS funny.

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[eternallyfrustratedwriter]

Gilbert be like:

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[wordycheeseblob]

Gilbert: can you SMN ;)

Emma: uhh do you mean... or...?

Gilbert: just take me out already

Emma: like on a date or with a gun??

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[clavissionary-position]

Emma: *deciding on names for her baby boy with Silvio*

Emma: Anthony

Silvio: Antonio Ricci sounds like a guy pretending to be rich

Emma: George

Silvio: Giorgio Ricci? What's he gonna do? Make suits for a living?

Emma: Gregory

Silvio: No one called Gregorio Ricci is getting a spot in my will

Emma: Silvio

Silvio: Silvioio Ricci is the stupidest name I've ever heard

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[daisiesandshakes]

Clavis: We need to distract the guards.

Chevalier: Right.

Clavis: So, what are you going to do?

Chevalier: I am going to kill them all. That ought to distract them.

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[chirp-a-chirp]

Clavis Tries Resetting His Password*

*If computers existed in Rhodolite

Computer: Please enter new password.

Clavis: chev sux

Computer: Password must be more than 8 characters.

Clavis: dear chev sux

Computer: Password must contain at least 1 numerical character.

Clavis: dear chev sux 2 much

Computer: Password cannot have spaces.

Clavis: dearchevsux2damnmuch (Clavis mutters to himself—I’m still a gentleman as long as Emma doesn’t see this password)

Computer: Sorry, password must have at least one uppercase letter.

Clavis: dearchevsux2DAMNmuch

Computer: So close! Password cannot have more than one consecutive uppercase letter.

Clavis: Oh my, did Chev or Gilbert make you this exceptionally difficult computer? Let’s try this then.

Clavis: DearChevSux2DamnMuch!SoMuch!

Computer: Sorry, no punctuation is allowed in passwords.

Clavis: OK, FINE. Let me try a different password.

Clavis: EmmaIs2Lovely

Computer: That password is already in use.

Clavis: RIO!

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[ikemen-roses]

[How I imagine IkePri modern au texting would go:]

MC: [posts a super low-quality image to the group chat]

Jin: If I had a dollar for every pixel in this image, I’d have 15 cents lol

MC: If I had a dollar for every ounce of rage I felt in my body after I read this text, I would have enough money to buy a cannon to fire at you

Yves: Actually I did the math, Jin would have $225, not $0.15.

Jin: Fam I’m right here....

Luke: If I had a dollar I would buy a can of soda :)

MC: while you’re there could you buy me an apply juice please?

Luke: Sorry I only have a dollar

MC: :(

Clavis:

Yves: ....

Yves: I just asked Sariel and I was not that far off, Jin would have $22,500 because it's a dollar for every pixel, not a cent

Luke: If I had $22,500 I would buy a can of soda and an apply juice :)

Yves: You can buy anything you could possibly want with $22,500

Clavis:

Leon: Yeah and they want soda and apply juice

Yves: Apply juice to what???

Clavis: Directly to the forehead

Jin: Great chat everyone

- Seen by Chevalier, Licht and Nokto -

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[ghosty--spice]

Sariel: “Alright what I’m about to say will make you very horny, but you have to try to remember that we are still at work.”

Emma: [nods]

Sariel: “Do you want me to quiz you?”

Emma: “Oh GOD yes!”

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