#in which xb was a mermaid in a government facility that Hypno has stolen/rescued

[theminecraftbee]

“When you said you had a plan, I thought it would be better than this.”

“Hey, man, don’t look at me. I’m not the one who stole a mermaid.”

“You can’t steal a person. Xb made the choice to come with me.”

Xb flaps his tail lazily from the center of the pool. The chlorine feels strange against his scales, but it’ll do for the time being, for being the first time he’s been in fresh air for quite a while. He tilts his head and watches Hypno argue with his chilly human, only to realize they’ve turned to him.

“Don’t look at me. I was the one who was stolen,” he says. Hypno sighs in a way that’s grown familiar.

“You told me I—I’m just saying that—this isn’t even ours, Cub!”

“We steal Keralis’s pool all the time,” the chilly human says. “He hasn’t called the cops on us yet.”

“I think he’s trying to Home Alone us,” Hypno mutters, “not that he’s an altruist.”

“Eh,” the chilly human says.

“When you said you had a plan—”

“I didn’t have a mermaid plan. I had a ‘Scar steals a manatee from the aquarium’ plan that I modified. Have to say, Hypno, didn’t expect you to be the one to make me use it.”

“…why would a Scar steal a manatee, and how were you planning on handling the chemicals in here?” Xb asks. It is, he figures, the only truly relevant part of the conversation.

“He’s Scar,” Hypno answers, at the same time as the chilly human answers:

“That was one of the steps I modified when Hypno told me you’d be able to just breathe a bit of air. Didn’t have to buy out the water treatment for fish from Petco.”

“What?” Hypno says.

“Fair,” Xb says, as though he knows what a Petco is. (He knows many human things after his time in captivity. That is not one of them.)

“Stop complaining so much,” the chilly human says. “Who else would you have asked who’d have a plan like this?”

“Jevin,” Hypno says instantly.

“Rude.”

“We can’t just keep Xb in Keralis’s pool. We have to have another place to put him later. Ideally, the actual ocean, but even before then,” Hypno continues.

“It is a little small,” Xb concedes. It is still better than his old tank by far, but if he’s being given the time to complain…

“Not just that,” Hypno says. “But—”

“Aha! I got you this time!” a sing-song voice from above says. “Naughty boys! Here to wreck my pool again. I have you now!”

In front of Xb, he watches Hypno and the chilly human move awkwardly as though to hide him from the man standing on the balcony. Xb, who is far more reasonable about these things. He doesn’t attempt to hide. He looks up at the human instead, curiously. He feels something in his chest looking at him, and something more when the human stops talking about catching Hypno and his friends, and locks eyes with Xb.

Xb bares his teeth and flares his fins in a threat display. Not because he feels the need to be threatening—he’s not frightened—but because he wants to see what this human will do.

The human’s face morphs into a wide smile.

“Oh! You’ve brought me a princess!” he says. “Hello, princess! I am Keralis!”

Xb regards him for a moment. “Xb,” he says.

“Lovely!” Keralis says.

There’s a moment of stunned silence from the others.

“It took me three months to get you to let me say your name!” Hypno says accusingly. “Three months!”

“Keralis is prettier,” Xb says instantly, dry as the outside of his old tank.

“True,” the chilly human responds, and Keralis giggles.

“I hate all of you,” Hypno says, and Xb knows that’s a lie. You don’t steal people you hate.

#a bee fic #hermitcraft #xbcrafted #hypnotizd #cubfan135 #keralis #I don’t. even watch most of these guys #I just had this come to me in a vision and went temporarily insane #anyway actual fans of these guys enjoy this stupid au idea #in which xb was a mermaid in a government facility that Hypno has stolen/rescued