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whenitsdarkweilluminate · 7 months

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Lisbon 2018 – Grand Final

Host: Portugal Slogan: “All Aboard!” Participants: 43 Voting method: 12-point system (50/50 system - separated) Format: 2 Semi-Finals / Grand Final = the top 10 of semi 1 & 2 + the Big 5 + host

Winner: Netta - Toy Country: Israel Points: 529 (52.5% of highest score possible) Language: English

General Overview:

I kept putting off reviewing 2018 because I remembered it being a “meh” year. I was dissatisfied in the winner. Many of my faves didn't qualify. And most of the songs seemed forgettable? After all this writing, I'd still rank 2018 towards the bottom of the decade, but it's ahead of 2011 and 2017 at least. For reference, my fave contest of each decade would be: 1956, 1969, 1977, 1980, 1997, 2009, 2012 and 2021.

The opening sequence is exactly same as the two semi-finals (ie. the montage of local people and culture). But since it's the Grand Final, there is an opening act this time! It begins with someone playing a Portuguese guitar, then Ana Moura and Mariza sing some fado music. Mariza's song includes a soft-sounding marching band across the stage. The flag parade happens next, with two DJ's playing contemporary beats to soundtrack it. There's also sailors holding the flags.

Then it's the host introductions. Like I said in SF1, I enjoyed their comedy this year. I especially loved Filomena in the Green Room. And lol at the hosts insinuating that the shirtless stagehand was naked underneath the graphic. There was also a dedication to Lys Assia, who passed earlier in 2018, which was nice.

The interval isn't as bloated as other recent contests. It starts with Branko playing some tranquil dance music, featuring 4 different soloists, one at a time. First it's Sara Tavares (from the 1994 contest) holding a long note, then Plutónio raps, followed by Dino D'Santiago singing inside this silhouette visual effect, and finally Mayra Andrade is joined by dancers on the walkway. They have soothing voices. Next, there's a video on why it took Portugal 53 years to win. Then Suzy from 2014 makes a surprise appearance. And lastly, Salvador Sobral performs two songs: a piano ballad called “Mano a mano” (meh to this one), where he pounds the piano casing at one point, and a reprise of his winning song, as a duet with Caetano Veloso.

The postcards involve the artists exiting a door in places where a door shouldn't be. Like on top of a cliff or something. They aren't attached to a building. Which makes them look like portals. It's as if the artists teleported to Portugal from their home country. Upon entering Portugal, they explore the area and do an activity. Then they take a selfie, as “#AllAboard” appears on screen. Then the flag colours are displayed on a sea anemone graphic. And lastly, there's an adjustment sound to start each performance. The portal doors are what I associate with 2018, like the hallway in 2017.

The stage is designed like a gyroscope. The performance platform is the center circle, with 3 gigantic rings overhead, kind of like archways. Each ring is on a different inclination/angle. There's also a circular walkway ramp cutting through the audience that acts as the 4th ring (on a 0° angle). On either side of the stage, there is a bridge that connect to the ramp. And just like 2010, there is no LED screen. Instead, the back of the stage is constructed of wavy vertical bars.

2018 was a battle between Israel and Cyprus… but not according to the juries. They put Austria and Sweden top 2, which the public weren't as fond of. Early on, the jury vote was a tight race between those 4 countries and Germany. Then it became a battle between Israel and Austria. Then Sweden caught up with Austria. In the end, Israel won the televote, putting them way ahead of both. As for the correspondents: Sweden's Felix Sandman wore Benjamin's merch and Latvia's Dagmāra Legante made a Kanye West joke.

Ukraine: Mélovin - Under the Ladder 3rd year in a row where the SF2 closer opens the Grand Final. I did not expect the juries to rank this last.

Spain: Amaia & Alfred - Tu canción This is like the sweetest love song ever. Yeah, the couple broke up a few months later, but most relationships don't last anyways. Feelings change over time. You live in the moment, and this was how they felt in May 2018. On stage, they look smitten with their cute smiles and eye contact. The opening shot shows them standing far apart in dark lighting, while the audience's phone lights shine behind them. Then the camera spins around Alfred and zooms in on Amaia, as they trade lead vocals. Afterwards, the pair slowly walks towards each other. They hold hands, they embrace. And the camera continues spin around them at certain points. The song itself is a classy, old-fashioned, stuffy ballad. But it also has a tender, romantic texture and a very nice melody. Plus Amaia & Alfred's voices are sweet. “Tu canción” starts with slow, sparse piano notes. Said piano increases in the first chorus, where the strings sneak in. Then the second verse/chorus adds in low-key percussion and makes the strings more noticeable. While the bridge sees the instrumental quiet, then intensify, then stop upon the final chorus. Then the song finally “bursts open”. That “OHHH OHHH” build-up is very effective. I also like the “Siento que bailo…” hook. The lyrics involve Amaia & Alfred expressing their love to each other. Alfred says flying to the moon now feels real; Amaia says his voice shelters her. It's very lovey dovey.

Slovenia: Lea Sirk - Hvala, ne! “STOP THE MUSIC!”

Lithuania: Ieva Zasimauskaitė - When We're Old

Austria: Cesár Sampson - Nobody but You

Estonia: Elina Nechayeva - La forza

Norway: Alexander Rybak - That's How You Write a Song A semi-final winner placing 15th in the grand final is unexpected.

Portugal: Cláudia Pascoal - O jardim Better than the song they won with. This did not deserve last place, although 39 points is pretty high for that. I can see how “O jardim” was overlooked though – not much happens in the song. There's no big melody, no epic climax. Instead, the song's purpose is to maintain a specific mood. That mood is peaceful grieving. Isaura wrote “O jardim” about her late grandmother. The lyrics repeat the phrase “Now that you're not here, I'll water your garden”, as if this thought keeps circling in her mind. She literally takes care of her grandmother's garden to keep her memory alive. The verses don't translate to English very well, however. The music starts with slow, sad piano notes. Then this subtle anxious sound is added underneath, followed by tiny acoustic tings. Then, from 1:36-2:07, the beat switches to a series of metal spring sounds and inconsistent jittery taps. It's a cool sound and it's my favourite part. It doesn't change the mood either. This is also when Isaura comes on stage and turns “O jardim” into a duet. The ending is minimalist and like a light howl. “O jardim” is all about simplicity. Doing anything extra wouldn't work. Cláudia gives a sensitive vocal too. She seems tearful at the end. On stage, she starts in a dark silhouette. She closes her eyes. She sways a bit. There's spotlights behind her. The stage doesn't feel like it's missing anything though. I also like how Cláudia's voice jumps out at certain points.

United Kingdom: SuRie - Storm The UK is back to flopping. “Storm” is infamous for the stage invader, but the Grand Final video on YouTube replaced her performance with a rehearsal. SuRie sings this with genuine compassion for her family, but the song is bland. The chorus is 'whatever' to me, both melodically and lyrically. The “Toge-e-ether” and “sto-o-orm” hooks are weak. And the lyrics are basic. The “spread your love...” bridge is climactic though. In the verses, SuRie addresses her brother, sister, mother and father one at a time. She reminds her siblings of their childhood worldview (their fearless hopes and dreams), and says she still believes in this stuff. Then she asks her mom if she did good enough. The chorus is her reassuring they'll overcome the storm together. It's an uplifting song with a straightforward message. But it lacks depth I guess? The instrumental only grabs my attention in a few spots too. The song starts with the piano, but quickly adds foot taps, squeals, submerged quivers and finger snaps. The chorus then diminishes back to the piano, before it accelerates via heavy claps; leading the second half bulldozing through with drums and whirls. The second chorus also starts dramatically, with stomps and sawing strings instead. The bridge uses dramatic boom-claps as well. Later, the song returns to the piano before the last chorus. And the outro repeats the bridge lyric. On stage, SuRie stands at the front of a tunnel made of lit-up squares. There's also pyro upon the last chorus.

Serbia: Sanja Ilić & Balkanika - Nova deca Actually her voice is kind of annoying.

Germany: Michael Schulte - You Let Me Walk Alone The only time Germany wasn't bottom 2 during 2015-2023. All it took was a personal, sincere, down-to-Earth ballad to reach top 5. That's how Ireland kept winning! But it sounds like an Ed Sheeran ballad, and I don't like Ed Sheeran (I also hear Adele's “Someone Like You”). The “1-2-3” hook (“1 love / 2 hearts / 3 kids”) is kinda annoying too. And the lyrics are messy. In the song, Michael reflects on growing up without his father, who passed away when Michael was young. However, the wording of “one love”, “loving mum” and “You let me walk this road alone” makes it sound like his father chose to abandon him. There's no mention of a “loving dad”. Still, if this were written in another language, would I even notice? Lines like “I was told that you were too” and “My childhood hero will always be you” still get to me. He sees his father in himself. He misses his father when he needs guidance. His dad provided protection and wisdom. Musically, the verses follow a quick back-and-forth piano. Then the piano is more pronounced in the chorus. The strings come in later. There's an “oh oh oh” bridge. Plus some crashes towards the end. And the drums enter to carry the final chorus. I'm not crazy about this arrangement, but I don't mind the “every now and then” hook. The stage starts darkly lit. Then, a semi-circle LED screen acts as a lyric video behind Michael. It also shows family photos, which really pulls at the heartstrings. And there's hypnotic images during the bridge.

Albania: Eugent Bushpepa - Mall

France: Madame Monsieur - Mercy France is my #2 again! “Mercy” tells the harrowing, but fortunate, story of Nigerian refugee Taiwo Yussif giving birth on a rescue ship. She named the baby “Mercy”. The title is play on words, since “merci” means “thank you” in French. The lyrics are from the POV of the baby. She recounts how her mother fled the war at home. They had nothing to lose. The sea (or “blue immensity”) became the enemy. She was lucky to even be born (“They offered me a hand / And I'm alive”). The song addresses how not every refugee has a happy ending like this. Many of them don't make it. The title implies they deserve mercy. The instrumental and Émilie's voice capture the mood of this situation well. It's a bleak and distressed vibe, but with a message of perseverance. The song starts with minuscule guitar plucks and finger snaps, followed by some cowbell(?). Then a snap-shut transition starts the chorus, which has a fuller sound, and includes distorted cry responses and some “pippity pips” appearing midway. The chorus has a great melody too. The song later quiets for the bridge. And the outro repeats a chant of “merci, merci”, as the duo pushes their hands forward, and the audience joins in. Maybe they could've done something more with the stage though. They're dressed in funeral black. They walk forward in unison. The camera follows her across the stage bridge. And they're on the audience ramp for the “merci, merci” chant. But it needed something more.

Czech Republic: Mikolas Josef - Lie to Me HE DID THE FLIP!!

Denmark: Rasmussen - Higher Ground It's just missing something to make my top 10.

Australia: Jessica Mauboy - We Got Love This could've been an anthem.

Finland: Saara Aalto - Monsters A borderline qualifier that flopped in the final.

Bulgaria: Equinox - Bones

Moldova: DoReDoS - My Lucky Day

Sweden: Benjamin Ingrosso - Dance You Off “With 21 points... Sweden”

Hungary: AWS - Viszlát nyár I think he screams even more in the final.

Israel: Netta - Toy (winner review below)

Netherlands: Waylon - Outlaw in 'Em

Ireland: Ryan O'Shaughnessy - Together

Cyprus: Eleni Foureira - Fuego

Italy: Ermal Meta & Fabrizio Moro - Non mi avete fatto niente I was puzzled by the 249 televote points... until I realized “Non mi” references several, then-recent, terrorist attacks (Cairo churches, La Rambla Street, 2015 Paris attacks, London Bridge, the truck in Nice). Plus 9/11 “skyscrapers” and 7/7 “subways”. Most of these happened in Eurovision countries. It must've struck a chord. The lyrics are also displayed in various languages so viewers can understand them, along with faces in the fonts. The chorus is an emphatic “You did nothing to me”, saying the terrorists didn't win. Life continues. It's just “pointless wars”. The song doesn't hide the horrific reality either: “blood in the sewer”; “arms without hands”; “mothers without children”. It also finds commonality in religions, dismisses racism, and says mass murder isn't a valid belief. And that “the smile of a child” shows resilience. This is a wordy, lyrically dense song. The duo sings SO quickly to cram everything in that it makes the melody ineffective, despite the up-and-down pattern. I also dislike Fabrizio's hoarse screams at the end, even if it expresses fury. Ermal wails after the bridge too. The instrumental is restless though. It starts with a twinkly guitar and light stomps, then light jingles. There's some slam-downs in the first chorus. Then the second verse increases the tempo into a folksy scared running drum beat. There's some guitar wails later. And the bridge quiets down when they walk to separate bridges. “Non mi” has a strong message and it isn't a cheesy peace song; but it's just not something I seek out much.

The Winner:

Israel achieves their 4th win, exactly 20 years after their 3rd... which was exactly 20 years after their 1st. I guess they'll win again in 2038? Between “Diva” and “Toy”, Israel's results were all over the place: 4 top 10s, 6 NQs, and several times in the bottom half of the scoreboard. The juries ranked “Toy” 3rd, but Netta's 317 televote points were more than enough. Weirdly, the semi-final was the opposite, where the juries were more favourable than the public.

This is an annoying song, but the chicken noises make it worse. “Toy” starts a cappella, with Netta making a bunch of strange mouth sounds (“*bird trill*, ouch, hey!, hm, la!”). Then the backing comes in and she starts clucking like a chicken. This irritating intro lasts for 20+ seconds. It's such a “WTF” moment. It makes for a memorable first impression, but it turns “Toy” into a borderline joke entry. Once the instrumental starts, there's some “Ethnic pop” elements. Verse 1 contains casual hand drums, bass stomps that stop every few seconds, and a couple short jerks. Then the pre-chorus diminishes to a soft synth, before building up with beeps and a squeaky sound, as Netta clucks again. Then the chorus roars and bulldozes through (with more beeps), followed by a string-y post-chorus that rolls around, where the backing shouts “CULULUU”. Those “CULULUU”s are almost as irritating as the chicken noises. This is a weird criticism, but the chorus sounds too much like a Eurovision song. I get bored of it. The second verse starts with video game pew-pews. Then the bridge interrupts the second chorus, leading to a big vocal note on “BOYYYYY”, which transitions to the next string-y bit. The song pulls back again partway through the last chorus. And Netta finishes on another big note (“TOYYYYY”). The song is vengeful and in-your-face and Netta brings attitude and personality. The backing responses of “not your toy/stupid boy” are catchy too.

But the message is hard to take seriously when it's communicated in such a silly way. The lyrics were inspired by the #MeToo movement (“I'll take you down now!”), where Netta rejects being a man's toy, calling him a “stupid boy”. Her vocal has a bratty, ridiculing, and immature tone. She says the boys are too loud and forgot how to play the game. She doesn't care about their money or the “modern-time preachers”. And she makes chicken noises to insinuate he's a coward (like when someone goes “bawk bawk bawk”). The lyrics also mention childhood interests – teddy bear, Barbie, Simon Says, Pikachu, dolls, Wonder Woman – which adds a darker layer to this. The narrator sounds like a little girl. “You're stupid just like your smart.. PHONE!” is a funny line though. There's even a smartphone ding during it. “My Simon Says 'leave me alone'” is clever too, with respecting consent. And “Barbie got something to say” challenges the Barbie stereotypes. There's also a couple Hebrew phrases (“ani lo buba” and “stefa”) and the Japanese word “Baka” (stupid person). But I also think “On the MadaBaka beat” is a censored version of “MF-ing beat”. Apparently “Trump-pam-pau” is a Trump reference too. The lyrics say a lot... in the verses anyways. “Stupid boy” is a childish insult.

On stage, Netta is dressed in a kimono, with two bookcases full of golden cat figurines wagging their tails behind her. She also uses this touch pad thing, which spells the word “H-E-Y”. Meanwhile, the camera will cut to the 3 backing dancers making funny poses and dance moves. They start on the stage bridge, but join Netta later on. And everyone is on the audience ramp at the end. They also flap their arms like a chicken during the clucking. And there's some pyro for the first chorus. The dancers are funny at least.

Ultimately, this, “I Wanna” and “Hard Rock Hallelujah” are the closest to a novelty song winning. I don't think this is what Salvador had in mind during his winning speech... it must've been awkward to hand Netta the trophy. Also, Jack White was later added as a songwriter for similarities to “Seven Nation Army”... I don't hear it.

Verdict: “D” Tier. Catchy but everything about this is annoying.

My Ranking:

Grand Final: 01. Cyprus: Eleni Foureira - Fuego 02. France: Madame Monsieur - Mercy 03. Estonia: Elina Nechayeva - La forza 04. Slovenia: Lea Sirk - Hvala, ne! 05. Austria: Cesár Sampson - Nobody but You 06. Portugal: Cláudia Pascoal - O jardim 07. Moldova: DoReDoS - My Lucky Day 08. Lithuania: Ieva Zasimauskaitė - When We're Old 09. Denmark: Rasmussen - Higher Ground 10. Czech Republic: Mikolas Josef - Lie to Me

11. Ukraine: Mélovin - Under the Ladder 12. Australia: Jessica Mauboy - We Got Love 13. Finland: Saara Aalto - Monsters 14. Germany: Michael Schulte - You Let Me Walk Alone 15. Sweden: Benjamin Ingrosso - Dance You Off 16. Serbia: Sanja Ilić & Balkanika - Nova deca 17. Spain: Amaia & Alfred - Tu canción 18. Bulgaria: Equinox - Bones 19. Italy: Ermal Meta & Fabrizio Moro - Non mi avete fatto niente 20. Israel: Netta - Toy 21. United Kingdom: SuRie - Storm 22. Ireland: Ryan O'Shaughnessy - Together 23. Netherlands: Waylon - Outlaw in 'Em 24. Albania: Eugent Bushpepa - Mall 25. Hungary: AWS - Viszlát nyár 26. Norway: Alexander Rybak - That's How You Write a Song

Full Ranking: 01. Cyprus: Eleni Foureira - Fuego 02. France: Madame Monsieur - Mercy 03. Estonia: Elina Nechayeva - La forza 04. Switzerland: Zibbz - Stones 05. Slovenia: Lea Sirk - Hvala, ne! 06. Austria: Cesár Sampson - Nobody but You 07. Belgium: Sennek - A Matter of Time 08. Armenia: Sevak Khanagyan - Qami 09. Latvia: Laura Rizzotto - Funny Girl 10. Portugal: Cláudia Pascoal - O jardim 11. Moldova: DoReDoS - My Lucky Day 12. Lithuania: Ieva Zasimauskaitė - When We're Old 13. Denmark: Rasmussen - Higher Ground 14. Malta: Christabelle - Taboo 15. Czech Republic: Mikolas Josef - Lie to Me 16. Ukraine: Mélovin - Under the Ladder 17. F.Y.R. Macedonia: Eye Cue - Lost and Found 18. Greece: Yianna Terzi - Oniro mou 19. Poland: Gromee feat. Lukas Meijer - Light Me Up 20. Australia: Jessica Mauboy - We Got Love 21. Finland: Saara Aalto - Monsters 22. Germany: Michael Schulte - You Let Me Walk Alone 23. Croatia: Franka - Crazy 24. Sweden: Benjamin Ingrosso - Dance You Off 25. Serbia: Sanja Ilić & Balkanika - Nova deca 26. Spain: Amaia & Alfred - Tu canción 27. Bulgaria: Equinox - Bones 28. Belarus: Alekseev - Forever 29. Italy: Ermal Meta & Fabrizio Moro - Non mi avete fatto niente 30. Israel: Netta - Toy 31. San Marino: Jessika feat. Jenifer Brening - Who We Are 32. Azerbaijan: Aisel - X My Heart 33. United Kingdom: SuRie - Storm 34. Ireland: Ryan O'Shaughnessy - Together 35. Montenegro: Vanja Radovanović - Inje 36. Netherlands: Waylon - Outlaw in 'Em 37. Romania: The Humans - Goodbye 38. Albania: Eugent Bushpepa - Mall 39. Russia: Julia Samoylova - I Won't Break 40. Hungary: AWS - Viszlát nyár 41. Norway: Alexander Rybak - That's How You Write a Song 42. Iceland: Ari Ólafsson - Our Choice 43. Georgia: Ethno-Jazz Band Iriao - For You

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hms-chill · 4 years

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Red Velvet, White Meringue, and Royal Icing

The Bake Off AU that I didn’t know 2020 would need, written for @rwrbbigbang!

Henry is a dramaturg who lives and works in London with his sister Bea and dog David. His bakes have all been approved by the casts and creative teams at the theater where he works, and inspired by his family baking tradition.

Originally from the American state of Texas, Alex now lives in Kent, where he balances studying law with his love for baking. He

Alex came to Bake Off to find out how good he is. Henry came to find new ideas and inspiration, and maybe to prove to himself that he can carry on his dad's baking traditions. But with ten weeks in a tent, they both find a little more than they bargained for.

With art by @emry-stars (which you can find Here and Here), and a massive thanks to Syd, @/wyverning on Twitter, for hopping in as a very last minute beta and dealing with my disaster of a first draft!

Chapter 1: Cake Week

“And you’ve got your recipes, right?”

Henry rolls his eyes with a smile, patting his bag. “Yes, Bea. They’re right here, safe and sound. If I lose them, I’m sure they’ll have the copies I sent them in the tent.”

“The little laundry sheets so you can do wash in case you get something on your top?”

“I’ve got them, too. I’m going to be fine; there’s nothing to worry about. I’ll call you when I get there, and before we start tomorrow, and I’ll keep you posted.”

She hugs him again, adding, “Dad would be so proud of you.”

He grins when they pull away, and she reaches up to ruffle his hair while he swats at her hands and escapes toward the train, waving with a confidence he’s not sure he feels. Bea had been there when he auditioned for the show, to proofread his application and help him learn the basics of food photography for the Instagram account she’d set up for him. She’d been there when they called him for the phone interview, and she’d cleaned up while he made things for the first in person interview. She’d helped him scour cookbooks and drill baking basics before his technical application, and she’s spent the past week testing his practice bakes and cleaning up after him, typically with nightly pep talks about how good he is and how she’s proud of him. But now, it’s just him and his overnight bag getting on the train for Berkshire. He’s committed to his bakes, and he’s sure of what he’s doing. Now, all that’s left is to do it.

The train ride is somehow both too long and too short all at once. He tries to get some work done, but the nerves make it hard. He wants to shout at everyone on the train that he’s made it, that he’s going to be on the show and in the tent, baking with the best home bakers in the country. He wants to ask each and every passenger if maybe they’re going to the same place, maybe they’ve done it, too, and the two of them are going to get to bake together. He wants to ask if a Victoria sponge is too simple, if he’s committed to something stupid enough to get him sent home the first week just because he’s a sentimental sap.

A crew member from the show meets him at the train station, and there’s someone else next to him, a Black man wearing the most colorful shirt Henry has ever seen. He’s got a big smile as he reaches out to shake Henry’s hand.

“I’m Percy. Call me Pez, like the sweets.”

“Henry. Nice to meet you.”

“Good to meet you. I think we’re waiting for one more, then we’ll go to the hotel and see the tent and things. You excited?”

Henry nods as another boy comes over in a rush, his curls flopping into his face and bag inches away from falling off his shoulder. He sticks his hand out, and the bag slips down his arm, settling around his elbow as he shakes their hands.

“Hi. Hi, sorry I’m late, I’m Alex.”

Henry and Pez introduce themselves, and the crew member whose name Henry doesn’t quite remember (it might be Sarah?) gets them into a car and driving toward the hotel where they’ll be staying for the weekend. Ideally, they’ll be back next weekend, too , but thinking about leaving already feels like a lot for week one. Alex introduces himself as a law student from Canterbury, and Pez works at a nonprofit in Manchester. Henry just tells them he does research for a theater; it’s not quite worth getting into everything when they’re all just getting to know each other. He’s more than happy to let the others talk; he hears about Alex’s classes and Pez’s charity work. He hears about how Alex moved from America to Scotland with his mom when she married his stepdad, but he still goes back to America in the summer and for some holidays.

He half-listens, half-worries about the upcoming weekend. He checks to make sure he’s still got his recipes at least three times. They still haven’t escaped, thankfully, and by the third time he looks in his bag, Alex, who’s sitting next to him, notices. “Hey, they’re there; it’s fine. We’re all nervous, but it’ll be okay.”

Henry just smiles at him. He’s not sure how he didn’t notice before, but Alex is… well. Alex’s face is very, very nice. He’s got a bit of a smile, and Pez is saying something, but Henry’s not sure what it is and he knows he doesn’t care.

“I just don’t want to go home first,” he admits, and Alex grins.

“Listen. If I think you’re going out, I’ll drop a cake on the floor and we’ll go together, okay?” Henry laughs a bit, and Alex pats his shoulder, then turns back to say something to Pez. His hand is still on Henry’s shoulder, and it stays there until they reach the hotel where they’ll meet the others, and Henry tries his hardest to think about or focus on other things, but it’s certainly distracting.

Alex doesn’t move his hand until they’re pulling up at the hotel, and when it’s gone it leaves a cold spot in its place. Henry doesn’t have long to think about that, though, as he’s climbing out of the car and joining a crowd already around a minibus with the Bake Off logo on the side. Probably-Sarah takes their bags to their rooms, explaining that they’ll be going to the tent tonight to get a look at it and learn how things like the ovens and the mixers work.

They have the obligatory round of slightly awkward introductions, and Henry finds himself next to a man named Shaan whose aura of calm somehow seems to quiet even Henry’s jangling nerves. They’re talking about Shaan’s role as a curator with the National Museum of Scotland and their exhibit on prosthetics when the bus turns a corner and they see the white peaks of the tent emerging from behind the Welford Park House. Henry stops in the middle of a question about the Alternative Limb Project’s Vine Arm to gape, and Shaan leans over to look out the window as well. The whole atmosphere of the bus has changed, and there are a few moments of silence before it erupts into excited chattering, everyone seeming to remember all at once why they’re here. Henry still just looks, grinning, out the window. That’s the tent. This is it. He snaps a picture to send Bea.

Then they’re getting out, and they’re walking the tent. They’re being shown which benches they’ll bake at tomorrow, and they’re meeting the hosts and judges and crew, and Henry’s brain can’t seem to focus on any of it. It doesn’t quite seem real, but between Shaan’s grounding presence and Pez’s chatter, it’s hard to believe he’s dreaming. Alex being here is another point in the not-a-dream category; he’s not sure he could have imagined a smile that bright.

It’s a whirlwind trip, and they’re loading back onto the minibus before too long, Henry’s head spinning. He’ll be back here tomorrow, baking cakes he used to bake with his dad, and he’ll be doing it for TV cameras and in front of the entire world. He’ll be telling the world about growing up baking cakes, and those very cakes he used to make with his dad could be the ones that send him home.

That night, the production team takes them out to dinner, and Henry meets Nora, the data analyst Alex has become fast friends with via a heated debate about how easy a pothos plant is to keep alive. He mentions that Bea’s kept one for a few years without much struggle, which drags him into the debate and gets them all laughing. They’re not talking about their bakes, and Henry’s glad. He’s got enough to worry about without hearing the amazing things the others have planned.

The next morning, they have an early call. Henry’s in the lobby of the hotel even before they need to be, though, texting Bea an extra thank you and checking, once again, that he has everything he needs. The last thing he wants is to get to the tent and realize he’s left something here. He’s halfway through another text to Bea when there’s a hand on his shoulder, and he turns to see Shaan.

“Hello. Couldn’t sleep either?” Henry asks with a smile. Shaan shrugs.

“I just think it never hurts to be a bit early to things.” He’s got a thermos of coffee, but beyond that, he looks just as polished as he would any other time of day. There’s no indication that he’s up at 5 AM.

“What do you think will happen today? I mean, I know they walked us all through it, but that’s not the same as actually doing it, and no one… no one really talked about things last night.”

“I think we’ll go in there and bake. What do you have planned?”

“Some… some Victoria sponges today. Mini ones. I… I’m sort of scared it’s too simple, but we used to make them with my dad growing up, and so I have a lot of practice. My sister suggested I pick something pretty simple that I’m familiar with for the first bake so I get used to it.”

“I think that’s a good plan, and I’m sure if you’ve been making these since you were young, you’ve got it down.”

“What are you making?”

“It’s a green tea cake; we had them at a gallery opening a few years back.”

“It sounds good; I’ll have to try some when you’re done.”

Shaan smiles at him, and Henry relaxes a bit. He looks around to see some of the other contestants have joined them in the lobby. He spends some time talking to Hunter, who’s very excited about the new high-protein flour he’s using for his cakes, and decides that he would maybe rather pull his ears off than hear more about high-protein flour or different milling varieties and their nutritional benefits. He’s in the bus when Alex arrives in the seat next to him, looking tired and carrying the biggest thermos Henry’s ever seen.

“Hello again. Ready for the big day?” Alex asks around a yawn.

“I’m not sure. I guess? We sort of have to be,” Henry says, and Alex nods.

“I can’t argue with you there. Still. You feel ready?”

“As ready as I can. What about you?”

“I guess. I think my sister’s more worried than I am, if I’m honest.”

“You have a sister?”

“An older one; June. She’s thinking of moving back to the states, but for now she’s working for a few magazines here.”

“Is it weird, sort of being here and sort of being back in the States?”

“I guess. It’s just sort of how it’s been since we moved, you know?”

“Think you’ll ever go back?”

“I’m not sure. It was sort of weird deciding to move, but June was coming since she was interested and school here’s a lot more affordable, so I came, too. It was… you know, this exciting new start and everything, and we’re pretty happy staying here and going back for summers sometimes.”

Henry just nods as they turn into Welford Park, looking down at the bag where he’s got his recipes again. Alex smiles.

“They all there?”

He’s teasing, and Henry just rolls his eyes. He’s expecting to be nervous as they all climb out of the van, but somehow, he’s not. Alex’s hand on his shoulder likely has nothing to do with that.

They file in to stand behind their assigned benches.

Henry puts his recipes and a picture of him and his dad baking down in front of him, taking a deep breath.

On your mark.

Get set.

Bake.

And then he’s reaching for the eggs and flour and sugar, and he’s baking a miniature Victoria sponge, just like he’s done a thousand times before. And yes, he’s in a tent rather than a kitchen, and yes, there’s the hustle and bustle of camera crews and other bakers around him, but it’s just baking. It’s just the same Victoria sponge he used to make for his mum every year on her birthday, when they’d each decorate one for her and she’d look at them all and puzzle over it before she declared them all the best decorators.

The first Royal Tour arrives before any of them are really ready for it. Henry sees Amy frantically cleaning a few things off her station as the judges come to stand in front of him. He’s seen this bit a million times, but it feels surreal to actually be the one in the spotlight.

“I’m Henry; I’m making some Victoria sponges. When we were kids, we used to make them with my dad, and all three of us kids would decorate them for our Mum.”

“Did you have to fight it out to have the best cake?” Noel asks, and Henry laughs.

“She’d always say we were all her favorite.”

“Bit simple, isn’t it?” Paul asks, and Henry’s heart is in his throat.

“I was hoping to do something where my nerves wouldn’t get in the way as much, at least for the first bake,” he explains, and Sandi smiles.

“Well, I think that if you do it well, something like this will really show us what you can do,” Prue says, and as they move on, Henry thanks every saint he’s ever disappointed that at least she’s on his side.

He has a second after he puts the cakes in when he can look around to see how everyone else is doing, and he sees an explosion of color on Pez’s station. Across the aisle from him, he sees a personal assistant named Zahra with a station he swears is neater than his was when they started. Nora is in front of him, checking things off a complex spreadsheet while surrounded by chaos, and somewhere, he thinks Alex might be swearing in Spanish.

After a second to breathe, Henry starts on his jam and buttercream, keeping an eye on his mini cakes. He’s making more than they used to with his dad, but even so, it feels just as familiar and comfortable.

The fillings come together, and then he gives himself a half second to check them before he’s on to assembling, setting a single raspberry in the middle of each cake and carefully piping designs on the tops. Noel announces that they have one minute left, and Henry gets everything on the end of his bench and leans back as they finish counting down.

Just like that, the first bake is over, and the bakers file out to rest. This is the part where the TV element of the show takes over; their bakes are going to get their beauty shots and the bakers are going to be interviewed. Hunter gets pulled first, so Henry gets to flop down onto the couch. Pez settles beside him, automatically resting a hand on Henry’s knee, and it turns out that he’s used a colorful mirror glaze and real flowers, either of which could have been the colors Henry saw. He asks about Nora’s spreadsheet, and she shows it to him, covered in frosting and batter and marking out what she should be doing every ten minutes.

When everything’s ready for them, the bakers traipse back into the tent, all quiet and nervous as they face their first round of judging. As much as Henry is trying to pay attention to everyone else’s comments, he’s too nervous to focus on much aside from the occasional word until the judges are in front of him.

He’s smiling, doing his best to relax as they take a bite. Paul reiterates that his cakes are simple, but says they’re perfectly done, and Prue agrees with him. Henry grins, finally feeling like he can breathe as he sits down. Behind him, Cash gets compliments on his flavors and the unique designs. Alex is next, and Henry hears them compliment his cake, but complain that it’s a bit claggy, which he’d been worried about. As they file out for lunch, Henry manages to get beside Alex and ask how it went, but Alex just shrugs.

“I made a damn good tres leches; if they thought it was a weird texture I’m not too upset about it. I mean, obviously I’m not thrilled, but you know. It was the type of cake they didn’t like, not my version of it. So it’s not, you know, that I’m bad at baking or anything, at least not really. This table look good?” Henry nods and sits, which is how he finds himself at a table with Nora, Pez, Alex, and Hunter, who turns out to be both very talkative and intensely boring.

Alex is across from Henry, and whenever they make eye contact, Alex makes a face, quietly mocking Hunter. Henry smiles, and he nods when Hunter says things, but it’s nice to know he’s not the only one bored with Hunter’s rambling. Alex is on his side, both in and out of the tent, and that’s nice to know, too, especially going into the technical.

Henry’s been trying to avoid thinking about it, but the technical’s been in the back of his mind. He’s done what he can to prepare for it, but he has no idea what to expect. Still, Alex will be baking near him, and Zahra will be across from him, and she seems like the sort of person who will know what’s happening if he gets really lost and needs to see what she’s up to. It’ll be alright.

They file back to the tent as lunch ends, and Henry takes a deep breath as he settles behind his bench, tying the apron. It’s just this technical, then they’ll be getting dinner together and spending time in the hotel, probably talking about the loved ones they’re making their showstopper cakes for. Henry is more than ready to talk about Bea and how much he loves her, and he wonders briefly who Alex is making a cake for. He’s been so focused on worrying about the technical that he hasn’t gotten a chance to know the other bakers as well as he hopes, but maybe that chance will come over a dinner with the bakers he’s starting to become friends with.

He tries to think about that instead of the gingham-clad mystery pile in front of him. There are ingredients for something under that fabric, but he can’t know what, and it’s not going to help to try and guess. He just takes a deep breath and tries to focus on the judges’ advice instead.

As it turns out, Prue’s advice is just to read closely, which is about as helpful as telling them to remember to breathe or that cakes need sugar. That’s all they get before the judges step out, and Noel has a joke about their figure skating class before Sandi announces the dish they’ve been tasked with.

They’re making something called nut cake. Henry thinks he may have heard of it once, and the cake itself seems fairly simple. The icing for it looks a bit more complicated, but that’s an issue for Future Henry. The cake is a problem for right now, and it’s not nearly as much of a problem as he thought it might be. And right now, Henry’s just baking, falling into the routine of reading a new recipe and figuring things out. He and Bea have been practicing technicals for weeks now, and he’s been reading old recipes for years so he can bake things appropriate for different plays he’s working on. As it turns out, deciphering them has helped him get ready for figuring out pared down modern ones.

Behind him, he hears Jeffrey, a man he’s not particularly close to, panicking.

Zahra seems in control, and while there are varying degrees of panic happening around him, everyone else seems relatively calm.

Nora’s workstation is a mess, as is Pez’s, but they and some of the other messy bakers seem like they’ll thrive in that mess. By contrast, Jeffrey’s mess just looks like mess.

But as much as he cares for the other bakers, Henry does his best to ignore them, at least for now. He tries to just concentrate on his own cake, even if it demands less concentration than he might have guessed. Even as they shift to icing, it’s far from the hardest thing he’s ever baked. The judges might be easing them into the technicals, but Henry’s glad for it. As the final seconds tick down, he’s drizzling the icing on his cake, and as he steps back he declares it ‘good enough’.

Carrying it up to the table and setting it behind his picture feels surreal, especially surrounded by the other bakers doing the same. He’s seen it on TV a million times, but somehow, doing it himself still sends a slight shiver down his spine. His cake doesn’t look bad compared to the others, and as he’s filing out to take a break with the rest of the bakers, he gets a glimpse at Jeffrey’s. It doesn’t look iced. In their resting area, Henry learns that he’s afraid it’s underbaked; apparently he’d forgotten to add nuts to his first one and had to restart with barely any time left.

As much as Henry hates to see anyone upset, a tiny, tiny part of him is relieved. He doesn’t want to come last in the technical, especially not the first one. They’re called back into the tent once it’s clean, and as they file onto the stools, Henry is sandwiched between Shaan and Alex. Alex grabs his hand; his cake is on the end where they’ll start the tasting and he’s pretty clearly worried. Henry just gives his hand a squeeze as the judges try his cake, and when they move on, Alex doesn’t stop squeezing, so Henry keeps a tight hold through the whole thing.

It is, by far, the worst part of the day. The deliberation about cakes is too quiet to hear, and it seems to take forever, but then they’ve decided. Alex is squeezing Henry’s hand so hard he thinks his fingers might go numb as the judges step forward to announce the results of the first technical challenge this group of bakers have ever faced.

Jeffrey comes in last. Alex is fourth, and to his shock, Henry comes in first. He’s not sure what to think, but he knows he has to call Bea as soon as he can. He has to thank her for how much she’s done to test him and get him ready for this part of the competition. Alex pulls him into a hug almost immediately, and Henry grins as Cash, a stay at home dad who seems great, joins in. They get pulled aside for more interviews, and Henry gets to be really, really excited without having to worry about hurting or offending anyone else, but even on the bus back, even as he tries to keep it toned down a bit so as not to upset anyone, he can’t quite help his grin.

He calls Bea that night from the hotel room, because really, he can’t think of anything else to do with these emotions. She picks up on the first ring.

“Henry! You did so well! I knew you would.” Just hearing her voice is enough to pull some of the tension out of his shoulders, and he laughs a bit.

“I never… god, it was a lot, but I… I did it.”

“You did it! And you got first in technical; I’m so proud of you. Dad would be, too, I know it.”

He just smiles, talking to her until there’s a knock on his door, and Pez is there to invite him out for dinner with some of the other contestants. Bea tells him to go have fun, and he finishes getting changed, then finds Pez, Alex, Nora, and a reporter named Oliver at the hotel bar. Alex is talking about a family friend he’s planning to make a cake for tomorrow, about how they’ve been friends since his dad took Raf in when his coming out didn’t go well. They’d had a tradition of birthday cookies, but Raf was used to cakes, so he’s the only one they make cake for. He’s planning a big cake decorated with cookies, just like they’d always done.

Henry gets to talk about how much he loves Bea, then a student named Liam joins them and hesitantly talks about how his boyfriend’s parents’ anniversary was last week, so he’s replicating the cake he made them. Pez demands a picture of Liam and his boyfriend, and they all get to admire how cute they are while Liam blushes. Pez moans that he and his partner will never be that cute, and he uses the word ‘partner’, which makes Liam relax a bit and makes Henry grin as a wave of quiet warmth washes over him. Even though he’d known that people would probably be fine if he came out, it’s nice to know he wouldn’t be alone if he did. Seeing Liam and Spencer’s pictures, and hearing that Pez probably isn’t straight (though honestly, he’d piqued Henry’s gaydar early on), helps quiet the part of him that’s worried.

Apparently Liam was the only one they were waiting for, so Pez leads the way to a nearby restaurant. Shaan and Zahra are there already, and they wave them over. The eight of them end up monopolizing a corner booth, filling the table with good food and the benches with good conversations. Zahra’s planning a baby shower cake for her sister, and Shaan’s planning one as a test for his parents’ renewal of vows. They finish dinner and go to bed relatively early, knowing they’ve got an early call tomorrow, but Henry goes to bed feeling better about the showstopper than he ever could have imagined.

It’s him and Shaan downstairs early the next day, and they make small talk and text their families while they wait for the others to come down. It’s a nice way to wake up, and Henry’s already starting to get used to this routine, to morning conversations about Shaan’s museum over tea and coffee. Shaan offers to give him a tour of the archives if he comes to visit, and Henry promises to take him up on that next time he’s in Edinburgh. Even that feels nice, to plan to see each other again after this is all over, and to know that even if he goes home this week, he’ll have made at least one friend.

The other bakers trickle down as Henry and Shaan are finishing their tea, and it’s not long before they’re all there, loading into the minibus and heading off to the tent to make cakes for their loved ones. Henry’s planning one shaped like a guitar for Bea, using a sponge recipe similar to the one they’d made with their dad but flavored especially for her. It’s the one bake he hasn’t practiced with her around, the only one she’s never tried in full. He wants her to be surprised when she watches the show.

He tells Paul and Prue about having lied about his plans to her when they come on the royal tour, and it makes Paul laugh, which is a relief from his regular stoicness. Prue tells him it’s sweet, Noel asks if there’s anything else he’d like to confess to lying to her about, and Henry honestly admits to having never lied to Bea in any other circumstance, and then they’re moving on. Behind him, Henry hears Cash talk about making a cake with layers for each of his kids, and he can’t help but grin. He’ll have to take a peek at that cake when decorating time comes.

His own cake is going well. He’s been playing it safe this week, and he knows that, but at least that means that he doesn’t have to worry about anything too hard. He’s made each of these cakes for Bea before, and he made a guitar cake for her last birthday. The hardest part is the assembly. He’s decided to have the guitar stand upright, probably because he’s an idiot, so the last two hours of the bake is entirely dedicated to carefully, carefully stacking cakes on top of each other and carving them into the right shape. He’s planning a mirror glaze, both because it will mimic the shine of Bea’s guitar and because he’s an idiot who likes to use every second of their allotted time and stress himself out as he does. He’s sure he’ll have time, but he’s making a brown fondant just in case.

He’s just getting his fondant-covered cake in the freezer when he hears Alex swear behind him, and he doesn’t even think before he turns to see what’s wrong. Alex has a decorative cake tin, and he’s frantically tapping it on a baking sheet. Henry goes over to his bench, and he can feel a camera following him as he asks, “How can I help?”

“Just… it won’t come out.”

“Did you run a knife around the middle? Try that.”

There’s a tense silence as Alex does. Henry’s holding his breath.

Alex flips the cake over again, shaking it up and down a few times on the baking sheet. Henry can just hear the thunk as it falls, and Alex lets out a shaky breath as he pulls the tin off. The cake emerges, looking complete, and Alex grins. Henry grins back, and Alex thanks him as he picks up a piping bag. Henry turns back to his own bench as Alex says, “Hey, if you need me to drop this on the floor, I still will.”

Henry just laughs as he goes back to his own bench. As he goes around Cash’s, Cash says, “Hey, either of you are welcome to drop anything on the floor as long as it’s not mine. Amy looks pretty confident over there.”

Alex tosses the top of a strawberry onto the ground behind Cash’s bench, and Cash laughs, and Henry starts on his mirror glaze infinitely less worried than he would have been otherwise.

He’s pulled shortbread decorations out of the oven and drizzled his mirror glaze over the cake when Noel calls the two minute warning, and his piping of the strings is a bit sloppy, but when he steps back he can barely believe he’s done it. It’s a bit messy, but it looks like a guitar, and he knows Bea would be thrilled with it. Really, that’s all that matters. He’s feeling good about it, but when he turns and sees Cash’s cake, he knows he’s lost any shot at star baker. It’s a towering beauty, each layer individually decorated with castles, jungles, and pirate ships.

Cash brushes aside their compliments, but when Henry asks about the kids, he starts talking about each of them, rambling and rambling as they leave the tent for their break. Henry just grins and listens as Cash’s excitement completely overwhelms any worry Henry might be feeling. Instead of thinking about if his cakes are too dry or if something is wrong with his fondant, Henry gets to look at pictures of Cash’s kids and husband and dog. It makes for a fantastic distraction while they wait for the tent to be cleaned up, and Henry wonders briefly just how many more people he can ask about pets or kids while they wait.

Cash rambles about his family through most of their break, and Henry is happy to just sit back and listen. Cash is clearly a good dad, and he’s more than happy to ramble about his son’s ballet recital or his daughter’s favorite cookie recipe throughout the entire cleaning period and photoshoot.

He’s still talking about his kids as they photographers finish up, so Henry gets to focus on that instead of worrying as they settle behind the benches for the final time that day. Henry is too far back to hear what the judges are saying to anyone else, but he watches Hunter’s and Jeffrey’s shoulders slump, watches Prue smile at Cash and Oliver, and he grins when Pez brings a rainbow explosion past his bench. Pez just winks as Henry laughs a bit.

Then it’s his turn, and he’s carefully carrying the cake up. It looks good; recognizably an electric guitar leaning against an amp. The judges like the flavors and the look, but it is dry. He’d been afraid of that; he’d been making fondant while it baked, and left it in a bit too long. Still, over all, it’s positive. Alex gives him a thumbs up as he carries the cake back, and Cash smiles at him. It’s not a bad cake, and he’s done well in the technical. He’s probably going to be back next week, and that’s good enough for now.

He does his best to focus on the others’ comments, but this far back it isn’t easy. It feels a bit like playing telephone as the bakers closer to the front say things like we’ve all had dry cakes or I heard good things. Reactions seem to be pretty varied across the board, and it doesn’t seem like Henry’s the only one who’s not done his best, but this far back he has no real idea.

The judges and hosts leave to make a decision, and the bakers are left to mill around the tent before eventually settling on the stools at the front. Alex is beside Henry again, and he grabs Henry’s hand as the judges and hosts come out. He’s had a good bake, and done decently in the technical, but nothing’s guaranteed in the tent.

Cash gets star baker, surprising no one but himself. His showstopper pushed him over the top, just like Henry knew it would, and he’s thrilled to get to reach over and squeeze Cash’s shoulder to congratulate him. His husband and kids are going to be so proud.

Then comes the hard part. Alex is squeezing Henry’s hand so hard it’s turning white.

Sandi opens her mouth.

“Jeffrey.”

Alex drops Henry’s hand and gives him a little half-embarrassed smile, and Henry has just enough time for half a thought about how he hopes he and Alex stay on the show. He refuses to let himself think on that, just gives Cash a big hug and gets through their final interviews. He tells the interviewer that he’s not surprised Cash got it, because he really deserves it, and that he’ll be glad to come back next week. Cash joins them again while he’s on the phone with his husband and kids, and he’s beaming as he talks and they load into the minibus.

It’s a strange atmosphere on the bus. Jeffrey’s upset to be going home, but Henry can’t seem to find it in himself to be all that sad. He’s staying, and so are Alex and Shaan and Pez. He gets to come back and bake with his friends next week, and as much as going home sucks for Jeffrey, Henry can’t find any particular grief about it.

They only have a few minutes to get their bags together before they’re heading back to the train station. Henry says goodbye to Alex, Pez, and the others, then calls Bea as he slips his ticket into the slot. The train is already on the platform, and he finds an empty table and slides into it, still talking as he pulls his laptop out to get some work done. He’s just hanging up with her when someone slides into the seat across from him.

“Anyone sitting here?” Alex asks with a smile. Henry smiles back, shaking his head.

“Hello.”

“Hey. Good job in there today; that guitar looked great.”

“Looked great, tasted dry. Yours looked good, too; I’m sure your family friend would have loved it.”

“Thanks. I needed it to be good after that tres leches disaster yesterday.”

“I’m just glad you didn’t have to drop anything on the floor,” Henry says, and Alex grins.

“Me too.” Alex pulls out a laptop, but even as he opens it, he seems no less willing to end the conversation. “And, if I’m honest, I know this is meant to be the most wholesome experience and all, but I’m sort of glad Jeffrey’s gone.” He’s leaning across the table conspiratorially, and Henry finds himself leaning forward, too. “He rubbed me weird.”

“He… he sort of rubbed me weird, too. If it had to be someone, I’m glad it was him.”

They share another conspiratorial smile, and Alex says, “Exactly. Like maybe he’s fine, but I’d rather him than someone else. I’d rather him than you or Nora or Pez any day.”

“He was just so…” Henry’s not quite sure what he wants to say, but Alex is nodding.

“Yeah. If it had to be someone, I’m glad it was him.”

He’s finally turning his attention to his laptop, making an excuse about a paper he’s got to work on, so Henry turns back to his own work with a small smile, his leg occasionally brushing Alex’s. They both get drinks when the cart comes, tea for Henry and coffee for Alex, and Alex pays for both, promising that Henry can get it next time.

Next time, because there will be a next time.

When he meets Bea at the station that night, he’s not quite sure how to tell her about Alex, but she seems to know what to think, even if Henry doesn’t.

On AO3

When I started this fic back in February, I had no idea how much the world might need it come October. But here we are, and here it is! Ten chapters of gay baking! That I hope y'all love!

As always, if you want to support the Hannah-Makes-Art fund, you can tip me in ko-fi here! And if you want to support the Emry-Makes-Art fund, they’ve got commissions up on their blog!

#rwrb big bang #rwrb #rwrb bang #red white and royal blue fic #rwrb fic #my fic: rwrb #red white and royal blue au #bake off au #alex claremont diaz #henry fox mountchristen windsor #henry fox mountchristen windsor x alex claremont diaz #firstprince #red white and royal blue

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qwertsypage · 3 years

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Sometimes you do need Kubernetes! But how should you decide?

At RisingStack, we help companies to adopt cloud-native technologies, or if they have already done so, to get the most mileage out of them.

Recently, I've been invited to Google DevFest to deliver a presentation on our experiences working with Kubernetes.

Below I talk about an online learning and streaming platform where the decision to use Kubernetes has been contested both internally and externally since the beginning of its development.

The application and its underlying infrastructure were designed to meet the needs of the regulations of several countries:

The app should be able to run on-premises, so students’ data could never leave a given country. Also, the app had to be available as a SaaS product as well.

It can be deployed as a single-tenant system where a business customer only hosts one instance serving a handful of users, but some schools could have hundreds of users.

Or it can be deployed as a multi-tenant system where the client is e.g. a government and needs to serve thousands of schools and millions of users.

The application itself was developed by multiple, geographically scattered teams, thus a Microservices architecture was justified, but both the distributed system and the underlying infrastructure seemed to be an overkill when we considered the fact that during the product's initial entry, most of its customers needed small instances.

Was Kubernetes suited for the job, or was it an overkill? Did our client really need Kubernetes?

Let’s figure it out.

(Feel free to check out the video presentation, or the extended article version below!)

youtube

Let's talk a bit about Kubernetes itself!

Kubernetes is an open-source container orchestration engine that has a vast ecosystem. If you run into any kind of problem, there's probably a library somewhere on the internet that already solves it.

But Kubernetes also has a daunting learning curve, and initially, it's pretty complex to manage. Cloud ops / infrastructure engineering is a complex and big topic in and of itself.

Kubernetes does not really mask away the complexity from you, but plunges you into deep water as it merely gives you a unified control plane to handle all those moving parts that you need to care about in the cloud.

So, if you're just starting out right now, then it's better to start with small things and not with the whole package straight away! First, deploy a VM in the cloud. Use some PaaS or FaaS solutions to play around with one of your apps. It will help you gradually build up the knowledge you need on the journey.

So you want to decide if Kubernetes is for you.

First and foremost, Kubernetes is for you if you work with containers! (It kinda speaks for itself for a container orchestration system). But you should also have more than one service or instance.

Kubernetes makes sense when you have a huge microservice architecture, or you have dedicated instances per tenant having a lot of tenants as well.

Also, your services should be stateless, and your state should be stored in databases outside of the cluster. Another selling point of Kubernetes is the fine gradient control over the network.

And, maybe the most common argument for using Kubernetes is that it provides easy scalability.

Okay, and now let's take a look at the flip side of it.

Kubernetes is not for you if you don't need scalability!

If your services rely heavily on disks, then you should think twice if you want to move to Kubernetes or not. Basically, one disk can only be attached to a single node, so all the services need to reside on that one node. Therefore you lose node auto-scaling, which is one of the biggest selling points of Kubernetes.

For similar reasons, you probably shouldn't use k8s if you don't host your infrastructure in the public cloud. When you run your app on-premises, you need to buy the hardware beforehand and you cannot just conjure machines out of thin air. So basically, you also lose node auto-scaling, unless you're willing to go hybrid cloud and bleed over some of your excess load by spinning up some machines in the public cloud.

If you have a monolithic application that serves all your customers and you need some scaling here and there, then cloud service providers can handle it for you with autoscaling groups.

There is really no need to bring in Kubernetes for that.

Let's see our Kubernetes case-study!

Maybe it's a little bit more tangible if we talk about an actual use case, where we had to go through the decision making process.

Online Learning Platform is an application that you could imagine as if you took your classroom and moved it to the internet.

You can have conference calls. You can share files as handouts, you can have a whiteboard, and you can track the progress of your students.

This project started during the first wave of the lockdowns around March, so one thing that we needed to keep in mind is that time to market was essential.

In other words: we had to do everything very, very quickly!

This product targets mostly schools around Europe, but it is now used by corporations as well.

So, we're talking about millions of users from the point we go to the market.

The product needed to run on-premise, because one of the main targets were governments.

Initially, we were provided with a proposed infrastructure where each school would have its own VM, and all the services and all the databases would reside in those VMs.

Handling that many virtual machines, properly handling rollouts to those, and monitoring all of them sounded like a nightmare to begin with. Especially if we consider the fact that we only had a couple of weeks to go live.

After studying the requirements and the proposal, it was time to call the client to..

Discuss the proposed infrastructure.

So the conversation was something like this:

"Hi guys, we would prefer to go with Kubernetes because to handle stuff at that scale, we would need a unified control plane that Kubernetes gives us."

"Yeah, sure, go for it."

And we were happy, but we still had a couple of questions:

"Could we, by any chance, host it on the public cloud?"

"Well, no, unfortunately. We are negotiating with European local governments and they tend to be squeamish about sending their data to the US. "

Okay, anyways, we can figure something out...

"But do the services need filesystem access?"

"Yes, they do."

Okay, crap! But we still needed to talk to the developers so all was not lost.

Let's call the developers!

It turned out that what we were dealing with was an usual microservice-based architecture, which consisted of a lot of services talking over HTTP and messaging queues.

Each service had its own database, and most of them stored some files in Minio.

In case you don't know it, Minio is an object storage system that implements the S3 API.

Now that we knew the fine-grained architectural layout, we gathered a few more questions:

"Okay guys, can we move all the files to Minio?"

"Yeah, sure, easy peasy."

So, we were happy again, but there was still another problem, so we had to call the hosting providers:

"Hi guys, do you provide hosted Kubernetes?"

"Oh well, at this scale, we can manage to do that!"

So, we were happy again, but..

Just to make sure, we wanted to run the numbers!

Our target was to be able to run 60 000 schools on the platform in the beginning, so we had to see if our plans lined up with our limitations!

We shouldn't have more than 150 000 total pods!

10 (pod/tenant) times 6000 tenants is 60 000 Pods. We're good!

We shouldn't have more than 300 000 total containers!

It's one container per pod, so we're still good.

We shouldn't have more than 100 pods per node and no more than 5 000 nodes.

Well, what we have is 60 000 pods over 100 pod per node. That's already 6 000 nodes, and that's just the initial rollout, so we're already over our 5 000 nodes limit.

Okay, well... Crap!

But, is there a solution to this?

Sure, it's federation!

We could federate our Kubernetes clusters..

..and overcome these limitations.

We have worked with federated systems before, so Kubernetes surely provides something for that, riiight? Well yeah, it does... kind of.

It's the stable Federation v1 API, which is sadly deprecated.

Then we saw that Kubernetes Federation v2 is on the way!

It was still in alpha at the time when we were dealing with this issue, but the GitHub page said it was rapidly moving towards beta release. By taking a look at the releases page we realized that it had been overdue by half a year by then.

Since we only had a short period of time to pull this off, we really didn't want to live that much on the edge.

So what could we do? We could federate by hand! But what does that mean?

In other words: what could have been gained by using KubeFed?

Having a lot of services would have meant that we needed a federated Prometheus and Logging (be it Graylog or ELK) anyway. So the two remaining aspects of the system were rollout / tenant generation, and manual intervention.

Manual intervention is tricky. To make it easy, you need a unified control plane where you can eyeball and modify anything. We could have built a custom one that gathers all information from the clusters and proxies all requests to each of them. However, that would have meant a lot of work, which we just did not have the time for. And even if we had the time to do it, we would have needed to conduct a cost/benefit analysis on it.

The main factor in the decision if you need a unified control plane for everything is scale, or in other words, the number of different control planes to handle.

The original approach would have meant 6000 different planes. That’s just way too much to handle for a small team. But if we could bring it down to 20 or so, that could be bearable. In that case, all we need is an easy mind map that leads from services to their underlying clusters. The actual route would be something like:

Service -> Tenant (K8s Namespace) -> Cluster.

The Service -> Namespace mapping is provided by Kubernetes, so we needed to figure out the Namespace -> Cluster mapping.

This mapping is also necessary to reduce the cognitive overhead and time of digging around when an outage may happen, so it needs to be easy to remember, while having to provide a more or less uniform distribution of tenants across Clusters. The most straightforward way seemed to be to base it on Geography. I’m the most familiar with Poland’s and Hungary’s Geography, so let’s take them as an example.

Poland comprises 16 voivodeships, while Hungary comprises 19 counties as main administrative divisions. Each country’s capital stands out in population, so they have enough schools to get a cluster on their own. Thus it only makes sense to create clusters for each division plus the capital. That gives us 17 or 20 clusters.

So if we get back to our original 60 000 pods, and 100 pod / tenant limitation, we can see that 2 clusters are enough to host them all, but that leaves us no room for either scaling or later expansions. If we spread them across 17 clusters - in the case of Poland for example - that means we have around 3.500 pods / cluster and 350 nodes, which is still manageable.

This could be done in a similar fashion for any European country, but still needs some architecting when setting up the actual infrastructure. And when KubeFed becomes available (and somewhat battle tested) we can easily join these clusters into one single federated cluster.

Great, we have solved the problem of control planes for manual intervention. The only thing left was handling rollouts..

As I mentioned before, several developer teams had been working on the services themselves, and each of them already had their own Gitlab repos and CIs. They already built their own Docker images, so we simply needed a place to gather them all, and roll them out to Kubernetes. So we created a GitOps repo where we stored the helm charts and set up a GitLab CI to build the actual releases, then deploy them.

From here on, it takes a simple loop over the clusters to update the services when necessary.

The other thing we needed to solve was tenant generation.

It was easy as well, because we just needed to create a CLI tool which could be set up by providing the school's name, and its county or state.

That's going to designate its target cluster, and then push it to our Gitops repo, and that basically triggers the same rollout as new versions.

We were almost good to go, but there was still one problem: on-premises.

Although our hosting providers turned into some kind of public cloud (or something we can think of as public clouds), we were also targeting companies who want to educate their employees.

Huge corporations - like a Bank - are just as squeamish about sending their data out to the public internet as governments, if not more..

So we needed to figure out a way to host this on servers within vaults completely separated from the public internet.

In this case, we had two main modes of operation.

One is when a company just wanted a boxed product and they didn't really care about scaling it.

And the other one was where they expected it to be scaled, but they were prepared to handle this.

In the second case, it was kind of a bring your own database scenario, so you could set up the system in a way that we were going to connect to your database.

And in the other case, what we could do is to package everything — including databases — in one VM, in one Kubernetes cluster. But! I just wrote above that you probably shouldn't use disks and shouldn't have databases within your cluster, right?

However, in that case, we already had a working infrastructure.

Kubernetes provided us with infrastructure as code already, so it only made sense to use that as a packaging tool as well, and use Kubespray to just spray it to our target servers.

It wasn't a problem to have disks and DBs within our cluster because the target were companies that didn't want to scale it anyway.

So it's not about scaling. It is mostly about packaging!

Previously I told you, that you probably don't want to do this on-premises, and this is still right! If that's your main target, then you probably shouldn't go with Kubernetes.

However, as our main target was somewhat of a public cloud, it wouldn't have made sense to just recreate the whole thing - basically create a new product in a sense - for these kinds of servers.

So as it is kind of a spin-off, it made sense here as well as a packaging solution.

Basically, I've just given you a bullet point list to help you determine whether Kubernetes is for you or not, and then I just tore it apart and threw it into a basket.

And the reason for this is - as I also mentioned:

Cloud ops is difficult!

There aren't really one-size-fits-all solutions, so basing your decision on checklists you see on the internet is definitely not a good idea.

We've seen that a lot of times where companies adopt Kubernetes because it seems to fit, but when they actually start working with it, it turns out to be an overkill.

If you want to save yourself about a year or two of headache, it's a lot better to first ask an expert, and just spend a couple of hours or days going through your use cases, discussing those and save yourself that year of headache.

In case you're thinking about adopting Kubernetes, or getting the most out of it, don't hesitate to reach out to us at [email protected], or by using the contact form below!

Sometimes you do need Kubernetes! But how should you decide? published first on https://koresolpage.tumblr.com/

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arc-17 · 6 years

Text

Darkness - Part 1

A Choices Whodunnit Fandom Fanfic

Introduction: This is set within the Alternate Universe @rr-roe-es aka @choiceswhodunnit 's game here within the fandom, starting right before the third murder and prior events are covered in flash back here. Before continuing on in the other parts, 2, 3, etc. of this fic series. This is VERY AU obviously since some of these characters lived at different times (Kenna Rys specifically) and well… have, or will be dying LOL! Since the premise of this whole event has sparked my interest, and I’ve really loved working with everyone on these mysteries, and gotten a bit of my old Role Playing skills up and running again, I decided to write the events as if they were really happening to the characters, within this AU, from Ryan’s point of view. So… without further ado, here it goes. ~~~~~~~~~~~ Darkness. It was within and without, in his thoughts, his dreams when they did happen, and in the room around him. He’d never felt anything like this, but… he’d also never experienced anything like this before. Not before coming here that is, to this castle, before getting trapped in this… psychopathic murderous game. Hollywood Actor Ryan Summers rolled over in his bed, unable to sleep despite the ridiculously posh and warm surroundings, had the situation been different; it would have been a dream trip. But instead, his fellow guests have been getting killed one by one while he and the other survivors get to play Sherlock Holmes and figure out how the killer has been committing the murders. Obviously it’s one of them, Kenna was the only person he knew coming here and he’d trust her with his life. It could be the staff, but knowing Kenna, she’d only have people she’d trust with her life, so no, it can’t be one of them. “…I am among you...” The first note had said, and it was the first of many he was to find out. Ryan got up and walked over to his window, reflexively testing to see if it too was locked from the outside, just in case. It wasn’t, and he opened it a crack and left it open. Moving back he sat on the edge of his bed as the previous two day’s events replayed them in his mind.

Stepping out of the limo, Ryan pauses to take in his surroundings, the crisp fall air of the open country estate surrounding him as he took a deep breath, enjoying the lack of city smell as he took a moment, straightening the cuffs of his Armani Tuxedo. With a soft whistle he took in the sight before him of the sprawling age old structure, a castle built in a by gone era “Haven’t seen a castle like this since I was in The Prince of Dragons! You ever see that one Jeffrey?” He says to the valet as he closes the door for him. “I cannot say that I have sir, but you’ll find the lady of the house inside, just this way.” He motions for Ryan to follow, another servant taking care of his baggage. Upon entering the grand foyer he spots her immediately, closing the distance to give her a hug. “Kenna! It’s been to long!” Ryan grins, planting a kiss on her cheek as they parted. “Ryan, it’s good to see you, tell me how is Cassandra?” She smiled though, it didn’t reach her eyes which he should have noticed, like there was a sadness she was hiding, but he discounted it entirely. “She is doing wonderful, as always, has her Pilot’s License now, I think when the examiner found out what she did in that damaged Jet with Dave and Sam it helped.” He chuckled. “That is good to hear” she said looking over his shoulder at some more guests arriving. She then gave his had a slight squeeze. “Maybe… if,” she shook her head. “I’d like to hear about your friend’s Sam and Dave, later some time if you don’t mind.” “Of course, It’s quite the tale, the adventure that those two get themselves into” he chuckled and then moved aside as she went to great the others, watching the other guests arrive, taking an offered glass of wine as a waiter walked by. There were a few faces he recognized, though didn’t know them personally, such as Leo, former Prince of Cordonia. The tabloids were alive with the goings on there and the “contest” for his Brother’s hand in marriage and the crown. He knew personally how unforgiving the press could be, and how hard it was to keep one’s personal life private. And then there was also Benjamin Park, the writer. He was a fan, though he tried to keep it low key. And he’d heard rumors through his friend Dave that one of his comics would wind their way to the big screen, where Ryan hoped he’d get the chance to get a part. He made a mental note to talk to him later. Having finished his glass while surveying the group, Ryan sets it aside and taps who he supposed was a passing waiter. “Pardon me son, when you have a moment, I’ll take a Manhattan, but eh, make it the top shelf stuff” He says with a wink. The young man furrows his brows, “I am off the clock. Get your own drink!” he says briskly then, pauses realizing who was in front of him he beams and the next words almost fell out of his mouth all at once. “Oh boy! Love your work sir! I’ll be back in a second with the Manhattan, sir!” Ryan laughed, resting an arm on his shoulder to have him wait, having given him a full look to see he wasn’t dressed like Kenna’s staff, and had a drink of his own. “Woah easy there friend! My apologies, I mistook you for one of Kenna’s crew here, but I see that is not the case. My name’s Ryan Summers but I guess you already knew that.” He smiles extending his hand in greeting. “I’m Daniel, waiter by day, and family friend of Kenna’s… any other time!” Daniel says, grinning ear to ear as he shook his hand. “And say, let’s work together! I’m game for an alliance” Ryan chuckles again, the young man’s infectious enthusiasm for this adventure impressing him. “An Alliance eh? Excellent because I have no idea why we are here, other than this is some sort of special Mystery game, event, thing, with mandatory attendance.” “Hey, any excuse for a party is a good one, am I right? Cheers!” Daniel clinks his glass against Ryan’s.

It looked as if this kid, Daniel, was a ball of anxiety and excitement. He probably was relieved to not only have a night finally off, but to have something to do on top of it. “Well said!” Ryan grins. “Cheers!” He returns, meeting his glass to his. He then pauses; taking a sip as he took a glance around the room then motioned with his glass. “You know anyone here? I only know Kenna, our host, though I recognize a couple of the other guests.” “Some of them are familiar. But, I’ve worked so many places, I’m not sure if we met or it is just Deja vu.” Daniel answered, looking across the room, taking it all in. “Mhm! True” Ryan nodded, taking another sip. “The faces do start to blur after a while, after so many get-togethers and shindigs. Well, it’s been a pleasure,” Ryan said extending his hand again, “I’m gonna go see if I can speak with our hostess and see where they took my luggage. I’ll be seeing you around Daniel.” He says with a warm smile, which Daniel returned as Ryan left; weaving is way through the guests. While he was looking for Kenna, he stopped when a tall young man tapped him on the shoulder. “Excuse me, Mr. Summers? I was wondering if you had a moment. My name’s Sean Gayle and-” he was saying, extending his hand in greeting when Ryan interrupted him, his face lighting up as he recognizes the young man, taking his hand and shaking it, clapping him on the shoulder warmly as well. “Hey! Sean? As in The Sean Gayle #5?! Heck yeah! I’m a big fan of yours!” “Yep, that’s me- Wait, you’ve heard of me? That’s awesome! I’m a big fan of your work!”

“Awesome buddy! So uh… got any clue what’s going on here? Kenna is being all… mysterious about why she invited us here, other than the whole mystery thing. Personally I think she’s been reading too many Agatha Christie Novels.” Sean shook his head “To be honest, I’m pretty confused by it all. Half these people are from my college, but the rest I don’t know. Do you recognize anyone?” “Kenna’s the only one I actually know, but I recognize Benjamin Park over there, he’s the one with glasses. He’s a writer.” Ryan said with a quick nod. “I think I’ve seen some of Benjamin Park’s work. He works in comics, right?” “Yes, comics, and good ones if you haven’t read them yet.” Sean nodded. “I’ve read a couple here and there- a friend of mine is a collector.” Ryan smiled “Really? Hmm... I’d like to meet him some time then. Keep this on the down low but I am a fan too. Just like to keep a few things away from the paparazzi, if you know what I mean.” “I’m sure my friend would love to meet you- he’s a great guy. And oh, I understand. It’s hard when everyone seem to know every detail about you.” Ryan nods in agreement, looking around a moment, taking a sip of his wine when he spots another face he knew. “So as far as others I recognize… hmm ah! And over there is one of the Princes of Cordonia, I believe the one that abdicated the throne. The cute one with him in the pink dress looks familiar too but I can’t place where I’ve seen her.” Sean looks over at Leo and the Lady Hana, as he later found out was her name, frowning slightly in thought. “I thought he looked familiar- he used to be on all the gossip websites. I’ve no clue who the girl is, though. His girl, maybe?” he said with a shrug then turns slightly, and points across the room. “The red head over there is my friend Quinn, and the girl with her is Michelle. We actually just got back from…. an Island getaway, so we nearly missed out on this.” Ryan smiles as he looks over at Sean’s friends. “An island getaway with those two? That sounds rather romantic. Reminds me of the time I played a down on his luck smuggler in the South Seas, got the worst sunburn though.” Sean laughed, “Romantic is the farthest thing from it I’m afraid- we were with a group, and some of the people there weren’t our biggest fans… ” He laughs again, “And sunburn is something I’ve been lucky enough to avoid in life.. You got to always slip slop slap!” “Yeah, you got that right! And the natives were restless eh?” Sean grins slightly “Just a little. But they turned out to be pretty great people once they got to know us. Sean then looked around, brows furrowed for a moment. "On a serious note… any clue what we all have in common? Seems like a weird group.” Ryan shrugged. “As for this group, your guess is as good as mine. You know Kenna our host?” Sean shook his head, scratching the back of his neck. “I know of her, but we haven’t met until tonight. I thought tonight may be something to do with Hartfeld, like a fundraiser… but it doesn’t seem like it.” Ryan nodded “Same impression I had, fundraising but… no long winded speeches and checkbooks spotted yet, guess we’ll find out together then” Sean laughs warmly “Yes! And so far nobody has come over to shower me in compliments, which is usually the big sign they’d like me to be generous.” He then goes quiet a moment, sipping his drink thoughtfully before changing the subject. “So tell me, how do you know Kenna?” “I met Kenna a ways back at a promotional event for one of my films, her and my friend Cass knew each other and kind of went from there, been friends since. She’s also lent the studio some of the artifacts in her collection for use in the films I’ve been in. And I think they want to use this castle at some point as well.” “Oh wow, that’s great!” Sean grins. “It would be amazing to see some of the artifacts she has- the history behind them would be incredible. I’m surprised they haven’t already used the castle- have you been here before?” Ryan nodded his agreement “Honestly I would like to see them as well. May not look it but a bit of a history buff myself. And no, this is my first time here actually.” Sean smiled thoughtfully as he continued “I think we’re all secretly a history buff. I only just recently became a fan of it myself.” He pauses, sipping his drink and he looks around at the others. “From what a few of the others here have said, nobody has been here before.” From what Ryan could tell, Sean clearly had some misgivings of this whole event, and was on edge, looking around and this crease of a frown always at his temples, something was nagging at him, but it wasn’t for Ryan to pry into. He’d only just met the guy after all. “Then it shall be a new adventure for all of us then.” He responded. Sean sighs, running his hand over his forehead. “I guess I should check in on Michelle and Quinn, see how they’re doing.” He smiled slightly to himself as he looks over at them. “If I’m honest, I hate this kind of thing, so I’m glad to have them here.” Ryan follows his gaze and smiles, then with a final sip he emptied his glass then setting it aside, he extends his hand again. “Well, I’m going to go do the rounds and see if I can’t sweet talk one of the servants into telling me when dinner is going to be served and when I find out more I’ll let you know. And maybe later we can get a chance to see that famous Number Five throwing arm in action!” Sean flashes a smile, shaking his hand firmly. “Sounds great- if you find out, let me know. I’m starving.” He laughs slightly. “And if you can find a football I’ll be more than happy to throw it around! Might break a few things in here though, so best take it outside.” “It’s a deal then! I’ll find a football, and then introduce me to your friends over dinner.” Ryan smiles with a wave as he moves off to continue his search for Kenna or one of the servants. “I’ll see you at dinner!” Sean nods in response, smiling back before moving off to meet some of the other guests. The rest of the night was a little blurry for him at the moment; he remembers meeting a couple other people, James another student at Hartfield University, a writer, who had written the script for that Indi Film that Hollywood was buzzing about. Brandon, a nice kid who worked the coffee shop at the same School, he too wanted to team up for whatever “Mystery Event” Kenna had planned. He also met Quinn, Sean’s friend, her smile was infectious, as was her laugh, and Jess, who went on this amazing cruise and had this crazy to do list with her family from her Grandma’s will. Also a girl named Brooke, a friend of Benjamin Park’s, who at last he also finally got to meet and plug his name in for a role in the upcoming adaptation of one of his comics. None of that mattered anymore though, not after the events that happened at dinner… That scream will stick with him for the rest of his life, which if things continue as they are, won’t be for much longer. (Parts 2, 3 and 4 coming soon!)

#choices whodunnit #choices stories you play #play choices #au #fanfic #fanfiction #Ryan Summers #sean gayle #daniel the waiter

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clarencenicholsonata · 4 years

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11 Yummy Food Truck Marketing Strategies to Get More Clients

Food trucks have grown into a multi-billion dollar restaurant niche since 2014. Not only is the industry growing, but the demand for food trucks is growing as well. So much so that millennials are widely considered the "food truck generation," with 47% having eaten from a food truck at some point.

To sum it all up, if you own a food truck, you're in a position to create a successful business and feed hundreds of customers waiting to be served. Start with these 11 yummy food truck marketing strategies to get more clients!

1. Join Food Festivals

Food Festival can be your food truck's first debut, whether it's local or regional. Think of it as a pop-up shop for your food, with customers coming and going. People go to these festivals intending to buy and try new foods so you don't have to work too hard to attract customers to your booth or truck.

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These smiles don’t lie! ? Our locally sourced finger food favs will be the highlight of your week ??? Book us for your next event by tapping the “contact” button at the top of our page ?? . . . . . . . ? @jasminperla.photos #handmade #tortillas #goodeatshouston #besthoustonfood #foodtrucksofhouston #htxfoodtrucks #houstonfoodtrucks #houstonlife #southhoustontx #santafetx #leaguecityfoodies #houstonfoodie #eatlocalthinkglobal #bestofhouston #houstonfood #eatlocalhouston #theshepherdmixfoodbar #instagood #htx #webstertx #houstoneats #texasfood #houstonrestaurants #tophoustonrestaurants #webstertx #santafetx #galvestontx

A post shared by The Shepherd Mix Food Bar ? (@havewegourmet) on Dec 13, 2019 at 5:52pm PST

To make the most of your food festival experience, offer a new item on your menu and get feedback from customers before you make it official. Festival attendants make great guinea pigs and live feedback on their thoughts, or you can see through purchases if this item was a hit or a miss with the crowd.

Festivals are also known to be a must-attend for food influencers and bloggers, not to mention other local food trucks and restaurants in your area, giving you the opportunity to network and future partnerships.

Check out April Maguire's guide on how to promote your business at community events and festivals.

2. Host a Food Giveaway

At Wishpond, we can attest to the power of giveaways; on the outside, it's a fun and easy way for customers to win prizes. But on the back end, you're collecting leads, increasing social media followers, website traffic, and growing your brand's awareness.

Food influencers like Terri Fry have been using giveaways in their social media and marketing strategies to consistently boost followers and online presence. And so can you.

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LAST DAY TO ENTER ❣️❣️❣️ Giveaway ends TOMORROW! If you haven’t entered, see my November 16th post for RULES! ? Winner will be chosen tomorrow morning on my STORY ??? Good LUCK! . . . #lastchance #giveaway #pumpkin #fallcookies #socal #feedfeed #pumpkincookies #cookiegiveaway #thanksgiving #sprinkles #twinklelights #wiltoncakes #fallpumpkin #fallyall #royalicing #sandiegocookies #donetoatee #instabaker #bakingsupplies #foodgiveaway #buzzfeedfood #baker #cookier #tutorial #howtovideo #cookiedecorating #sugarcookies #ilovebaking #cookieartist #cookiedecoratingvideo

A post shared by Terri Fry (@donetoatee) on Nov 22, 2019 at 3:51pm PST

When you're planning your food truck giveaway here are a few key features you should consider:

1. Eyes on the Prize: The value of your prize plays into the quality of participants you'll have and the number of people you'll attract. So you'll have to think big and creative. If your prize is small, you'll get overlooked by other brands offering bigger prizes.

For holidays like Valentine's Day, try to partner with brands to create the ultimate foodie's dinner date.

2. Clear Guidelines: Don't assume that contestants can read between the lines. Write detailed and clear instructions on how to enter and what the winner can expect. If you leave room for assumptions, you open your brand up to angry participants or, worse, legal action.

3. Choose the Right Platform: Determine the goal of your giveaway to help determine the right platform and tools to reach it. If you want for Instagram followers, then you'll need to host your giveaway on Instagram and ask participants to follow your page to enter.

Need help with your next contest ?

Book a free call to learn Wishpond can offer you the tools to create high converting Facebook contest today.

Giveaway & Contest Guides

I've also listed our best giveaway and contest guides for you to use if you'd like to get more acquainted with a contest or need some creative giveaway ideas before you start.

How to Run a Contest: Step-by-Step Guide

50 Fun Contest Ideas You Can Use Today

3. Offer Catering & Delivery Services

For this marketing tip, you'll have to offer catering or delivery services for your customers. Restaurant Dive found that consumer delivery industry will grow by more than 18% in 2023

People are growing to expect food brands to offer delivery or be listed on food delivery apps like UberEats or DoorDash. Signing up for, and offering, delivery opens your business to those around the community who may not be willing to make the journey to your food truck each day.

You should also consider offering catering to company's in your area or events to expose your food truck's customer base.

4. Partner with Local Business

Earlier, we spoke about networking with other businesses. There is strength in numbers, and the more business you partner with, the more your food truck exposure will grow.

Feel free to partner with businesses in or outside of the food industry.

Swap discount flyers with a local business so that when a customer visits your business, they're encouraged to try another their service. You're combining your customer base and foot traffic to share and bring each other new customers. Or You can partner with other businesses to host or sponsor an event surrounding your food truck.

5. Create Life-Size Menus or Displays

Instead of waiting for customers to go up to your food truck to ask what’s on the menu, grab their attention with an eye-catching life-size menu or food display.

This marketing tip helps to differentiate you from your competitors while showcasing your best sellers. A clearly displayed menu allows customers to choose and consider what food items they'd like to buy before they reach the counter. This can help you take and make orders quickly as well as grab the attention of anyone passing by your truck.

A food truck menu should always match your brands aesthetic, If you're not sure what your food truck menu should look like here are of the eight food truck menu ideas and some costs less than $5 to make.

6. Hand Out Free Samples & Discounts

Once a month, give out free samples of your best sellers or new food inventions. But you're not just giving away free food. Free samples allow you to:

Introduce your product to new audiences unfamiliar with your brand.

Foster relationships and inspire loyalty with existing customers.

Expand shoppers' knowledge about the food you offer.

Now there's a wrong and right way to offer samples.

The right way is to have a goal in mind while making notes (even mentally) on the kind of feedback you'll be getting. You want to make sure that your samples are big enough for them to savor the food and have an opinion but small enough that you're rationing on a budget.

Come with an open mind, you already love your food, but you're not the one buying it. Never force your own opinions on the people taking your samples, or try to defend yourself. Sampling is an open case study that allows you to step back and hear what the customers think.

7. Work with Food Bloggers

No matter the industry, influencer marketing should be apart of your marketing strategy.

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Happy happy #FRYday everyone!! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ I looove the Mediterranean fries with truffle salt, sea salt & herbs from @perasoho ? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ #fries #truffle #frenchfries #newforkcity

A post shared by Sofia Rose Jain?? (@sofiaeatsnyc) on Dec 20, 2019 at 11:13am PST

Drive traffic by paying or offering a free meal to a prominent food blogger or influencer in your local area. After all, they can influence a follower's buying decisions with their trusted expertise. People trust people to point in the right direction when it comes to products and food.

Find influencers that you think would be a good fit for your brand and do an influencer outreach. Most influencers with large followings are established and have worked with brands before, which means instead of free food, they'd most likely want to be paid instead.

8. Take a Road Trip & Host a Food Truck Tour

Take a trip across your community, state, or country, and share your fantastic food with new people. This marketing trick works well if you have a strong social media strategy behind you.

You want to make sure that your followers and new customers know when and where so they can plan to visit your truck ahead of time.

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Out food truck team is waiting for you today in Šibenik. Tomorrow we are in Omiš. See you ? #rougemarin #rougemarinhr #mastercard #mastercardhrvatska #mastercardfoodtruckroadtrip #foodtruck #foodtruckroadtrip #rougemarinfoodtruck #poljana #sibenik #sibenikcroatia #omis #omiscroatia #streetfood #croatia #summer #summertour

A post shared by Rougemarin (@rougemarin.hr) on Aug 5, 2018 at 5:50am PDT

9. Use Social Media Ads to Promote Your Food

You can use social media ads on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, and YouTube to promote your food truck.

We always hear success stories about social media ads on platforms like Facebook and Instagram. Having a successful ad is much more than writing a caption, setting a budget, and hitting "publish" — it's about knowing your audience and crafting the perfect ad for them.

For instance, Tropicana got a 45% return on ad spends, plus 58% more sales volume compared to their other social media platforms. Their ads stayed focused on awareness of their new #MadeToGo Tropicana bottles.

View this post on Instagram

Help support a healthy immune system at holiday brunch with delicious Tropicana. ??❄️

A post shared by Tropicana (@tropicana_juices) on Dec 2, 2019 at 2:59pm PST

Tropicana doubled its Instagram and Facebook budget to more closely replicate its typical TV spend, running a series of short video ads designed to motivate in-store sales over the next three months. It did just that.

Tropicana decided to use video for their ads, which is always a good investment because videos get 21.2% more interactions compared to images. They also used witty and fun captions that connected well with their audience.

If you're a beginner with social media ads, don't worry, I've got a few step-by-step guides to dip your toe in the world of social media ads:

Facebook Ads Effectiveness: Myths, Misconceptions, and Mistakes

15 Powerful Instagram Marketing Secrets You'll Want to Steal

10. Add Additional Entertainment at Your Food Truck

Add live or additional entertainment to your food truck. Find local musicians or performance artists with a following in your area. Take things a set further and host a weekly or monthly open mic for artists, poets, and performance artists to show off their skills while your customers get their fill of your food.

11. Get Listed on Food Review Sites & Local Papers

There are three things you should always plaster online and offline; this includes reviews, your brand story, and discounts. I'll explain why below:

1. Brand Story: Everyone loves a great story, so make sure people get the chance to hear it. Brand storytelling is such an essential click here to learn more about what brand storytelling is & how to do it (With examples!)

2. Reviews: Online reviews influence the purchase decisions of nearly all (93%) consumers while virtually the same proportion (92.4%) of corporate buyers will likely purchase a product or service if they read a trusted review about it. Offline word of mouth reviews holds the most weight for potential customers. Listen to what people are saying about your brand.

3. Discounts: Customers are always looking for good deals, and food is no exception. But offering discounts isn't about losing money but building loyalty and attracting new customers. It's proven that you can offer discounts and specials while still making a profit.

Summary

The food industry can be competitive. You'll need to double down on your online marketing to increase your brand awareness and encourage a better flow of customers to your food truck.

Wishpond offers marketing solutions suited to your business needs, regardless of your industry or niche.

Ready to start marketing your food truck?

Book a free call to learn how our team of marketing experts can help you create successful marketing campaigns and solutions today.

Here's a quick recap of these 11 yummy food truck marketing strategies to get more clients:

Join Food Festivals

Host a Food Giveaway

Offer Catering & Delivery Services

Partner with Local Business

Create Life-Size Menus or Displays

Hand Out Free Samples & Discounts

Work with Food Bloggers and Influencers

Take a Road Trip & Host a Food Truck Tour

Use Social Media Ads to Promote Your Food

Add Additional Entertainment at Your Food Truck

Get Listed on Food Review Sites & Local Papers

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gadgetsrevv · 5 years

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Euro 2020 qualifiers and international football: 10 things to look out for | Football

1) Pressure on Dutch as entertaining foes meet again

Before October 2018, the Netherlands had not kicked a ball in anger against Germany for six years. When the teams walk out for the Group C qualifier in Hamburg, it will be the fourth time the fierce rivals have faced each other in 11 months. Not that neutrals should be complaining. There have been 12 goals in the two Nations League matches and one Euro 2020 qualifier that have been played since – and some scintillating football. Nico Schulz’s 90th-minute strike for Germany sealed a 3-2 victory in a pulsating qualifier at the Johan Cruyff Arena in March that left the Dutch on three points from two matches and facing a tricky game of catch-up to ensure automatic qualification. Northern Ireland’s flawless start has powered them to the top of Group C on 12 points and piled pressure on Ronald Koeman’s side, who will have to go on the attack at the Volksparkstadion. Expect another entertaining open game from two vibrant young sides. Gregg Bakowski

• Germany v Netherlands, 7.45pm (all times BST), Friday

2) Finland close in on their finest hour

Football has rarely been able to dent ice hockey’s primacy in Finland but Markku Kanerva’s team are on the verge of changing that. Over the next week they face two of the most important games in their history and, if at least one of Greece and Italy can be seen off in Tampere, a place at Euro 2020 should be within touching distance. They sit second in Group J, three points clear of Armenia and five in front of Greece and Bosnia-Herzegovina. It is a golden opportunity for a country that has only once come close to reaching a major tournament, when they fell just short of Euro 2008. Finland are formidable at home, they have not conceded in their last eight games, and in Norwich City’s Teemu Pukki they have one of Europe’s hottest centre-forwards. They may fancy their chances of toppling the injury-hit Italians, who will miss Lorenzo Insigne and Giorgio Chiellini and could be caught at the top when they meet on Sunday if all goes to plan. And if it unravels spectacularly? Finland would have the fallback of entering the play-offs, in that case, having been one of the winners in Nations League C. The opportunity that lies ahead could hardly be greater. Nick Ames

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3) Romanian fledglings have chance to show they can fly

Romania had their most exciting footballing summer since 1994 thanks to the entertaining under-21 side that reached the semi-finals at the European Championships. Ianis Hagi, son of the legendary Gheorghe, was the star , earning a move to Genk, although Ajax were also linked to the playmaker. He is joined in Cosmin Contra’s squad to face Spain and Malta by six teammates from that under-21 squad, who became known for their attacking football as they defeated England and Croatia, and they will be given the chance to prove themselves at full international level against Spain in Bucharest. Whether Hagi can follow in his famous father’s footsteps is unknown but he can be as influential for this generation and their first test could be telling, not that they will be afraid. Will Unwin

• Romania v Spain, 7.45pm, Thursday

Romania training in Bucharest on Wednesday. Photograph: Robert Ghement/EPA

4) Republic can take huge step towards qualifying against Swiss

Three wins and a draw from their first four matches have taken the Republic of Ireland top of Group D on 10 points and given them a big psychological advantage over third-placed Switzerland as they prepare to meet in Dublin. Vladimir Petkovic’s side are similarly unbeaten but have played only two games, a win over Georgia and a hugely deflating 3-3 draw with Denmark in which they let a three-goal lead slip in the final six minutes. This means Mick McCarthy’s side can open up a nine-point advantage over the only other realistic contenders for automatic qualification. McCarthy’s preparations have not been entirely smooth, however, with James McCarthy, Kieren Westwood, Matt Doherty and Sean Maguire withdrawing through injury. GB

• Rep of Ireland v Switzerland, 7.45pm, Thursday

5) Brighton’s Mac Allister looking to make his mark for Argentina

With Lionel Messi suspended from international football for his corruption comments during the Copa América, the Argentina manager, Lionel Scaloni, has drafted in seven upcapped players for the friendlies against Chile and Mexico, one of who is Alexis Mac Allister. The son of the former international Carlos Mac Allister – whose unusual name originates from his family roots in Fife, Scotland – signed for Brighton last year, but work permit issues led to him being loaned to Boca Juniors this season. The 20-year-old plays alongside his older brother, Kevin Mac Allister, and scored this worldie winner in the Copa Libertadores on his first start for the club. Alexis’ international call-up is good news for Brighton – the diminutive central midfielder could secure a British work permit next season if he continues to be involved with Argentina. It will be interesting to see if he makes his debut on Friday against Chile, who are missing their own Alexis, with Sánchez still in Italy after completing his loan move to Inter. Michael Butler

• Chile v Argentina, 3am, Friday

Brighton’s Alexis Mac Allister, on loan at Boca Juniors, has been called up to the Argentina squad for the first time. Photograph: Juan Mabromata/AFP/Getty Images

6) McBurnie must show he cares by letting his feet do the talking

Scotland are in a curious position under Steve Clarke; the scars from that embarrassing defeat in Astana are yet to heal, but two paths remain open to qualify for Euro 2020, where they would be among the host nations. Clarke needs his squad to gel quickly, and said at his unveiling that his players need to be “100% committed”. In that context, Oli McBurnie’s gaffe this week was particularly unfortunate, with the Sheffield United striker caught on camera sounding less than thrilled at the prospect of an international break. It was a snippet taken from a light-hearted exchange and McBurnie has dealt with it maturely, addressing his teammates in private. Outside of his Twitter mentions, all is forgiven. Now would be a good time for the Yorkshireman to do his talking on the pitch and find a first international goal. Scotland welcome Russia and Belgium to Hampden in this round of fixtures – matches that will surely shape the group. Niall McVeigh

• Scotland v Russia, 7.45pm, Friday.

7) Japan drop experience for youth as Olympics near

This is an important time for Japan, who start their qualification campaign for the World Cup this month in Myanmar, but whose priority is to prepare for the Olympic Games at home next summer. With just three players aged over 23 permitted at Tokyo 2020, the head coach, Hajime Moriyasu, has opted for a young squad for the friendly against Paraguay, dropping Shinji Kagawa and Shinji Okazaki, both of whom this summer signed for clubs in the Spanish second tier. While Kagawa has impressed for Real Zaragoza, scoring against Ponferradina, Okazaki left Málaga on Tuesday after 34 days, without making an appearance. Japan’s investment in youth means much is expected of Takefusa Kubo, who impressed in pre-season at Real Madrid and has joined Mallorca on loan. Without Kagawa, the 18-year-old is, perhaps unfairly, the headline name in this burgeoning team. MB

• Japan v Paraguay, 11.20pm, Thursday

Shinji Kagawa has been dropped from Japan’s squad for the World Cup qualifiers. Photograph: Jack Guez/AFP/Getty Images

8) Turkey mix experience and youth to propel team forward

Since the return of Senol Gunes for his second spell as Turkey head coach there has been an increasing focus on youth. Twenty of the players called up to face Andorra and Moldova are under the age of 25, including hot prospects Abdulkadir Omur of Trabzonspor and Besiktas striker Guven Yalcin. Despite this new focus, Gunes knows the importance of experience and the most capped player in the squad, captain Emre Belozoglu, will earn his 100th a few days shy of his 39th birthday. He is required to influence those flair players alongside him to give Turkey momentum from two supposedly simple qualifiers. Even if they fail to qualify this time around, there is greater hope for the Turkish national team than there has been for a while. WU

• Turkey v Andorra, 7.45pm, Saturday

9) Kosovo shorn of their star turns before England clash

Kosovo’s success story is well told by now and they will bounce into St Mary’s next Tuesday on the back of a 14-game unbeaten run, which included an eyecatching win in Bulgaria last time out. They are Europe’s youngest international team and, these days, a deadly serious one; anyone expecting an England walkover should think again but it is a shame they travel without their two biggest threats. Milot Rashica and Arber Zeneli are two of the most exciting wingers around but both are injured. Their absence dilutes a realistic chance of reaching Euro 2020 and Benjamin Kololli and Hekuran Kryeziu will miss out too. But Kosovo have other threats, such as the in-form Fenerbahce striker Vedat Muriqi and Swansea’s Bersant Celina, so if they can emerge from Saturday’s home tie with the Czech Republic unscathed then perhaps a shock in Southampton will be on. NA

10) Chad seek success after four-year sabbatical

How many matches do you think Chad’s senior team have contested since their last tilt at World Cup qualifying, which ended with a 4-0 defeat to Egypt in November 2015? One, is the answer, and that fixture has since been expunged from the records. They have not taken to the field since losing to Tanzania the following March, after which they withdrew from the 2017 Africa Cup of Nations qualifying competition on financial grounds, and were banned from the 2019 edition as a result. A squad of players based in France, Belgium, Niger, Cameroon, Ethiopia, Equatorial Guinea, Portugal, Indonesia and the local league will have had some catching up to do before facing Sudan in Thursday’s first-round, first leg qualifier for Qatar 2022 in N’Djamena. Thehe Frenchman Emmanuel Trégoat has returned as coach in the hope of leading them into a new era. Chad is far from the only country that has had sustained issues putting a football team out but it goes to show that international football is not something anyone should take for granted. NA

• Chad v Sudan, 3.30pm, Thursday

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the-record-newspaper · 5 years

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Grand Marshall Announced for Halloween Parade

Jessie Jackson will be the Grand Marshall for the 4th Annual Historic Wilkesborough Halloween Parade on Saturday Sept. 28. Jessie suffers from Gangliosidosis-1 (GM-1) a progressive neurological genetic disorder.The photo on the left shows Jessie at 5 years old. "As you can see GM-1 can take all it wants from her...it hasn't touched her joy for life. She is amazing and teaches daily what true determination is all about. Jessie's the true hero, I just push the wheelchair," said her mother, Merlie.

By HEATHER DEAN Record Reporter

The 4th Annual Historic Wilkesborough Halloween Parade (HWHP) will take place on September 28, 2019 in the heart of downtown Wilkesboro. The Child Abuse Prevention Team/ Our House is this year’s chosen non-profit, and all funds raised through parade entries and vendor fees as well as through other fundraisers will go to this organization.

Every year, a local with a special story is chosen as the Grand Marshall. This year’s recipient is Jessica Jackson. She loves motorcycles, music, horses, and traveling- her favorite places so far being Disney World, NASCAR races, App State football games and Pigeon Forge TN. She was diagnosed at 18 with gm-1 gangliosidosis; a disorder so rare that she is the only known child in NC with this diagnosis.

Gangliosidosis-1 (GM-1) is a progressive neurological genetic disorder caused by the absence of a vital enzyme. Jessie started showing signs around age 5, and slowly progressed to being totally dependent on her parents for all care around the clock. Jessie is now non verbal, in a wheelchair full time and unable to stand or walk

Speaking with Jessie’s mom, Merlie, she said it was an honor to have Jessie as the Grand Marshall for the parade this year. “She always has enjoyed watching parades over the years; this will be her first opportunity to be a member.” In her role as Grand Marshall, Jessie is dressing up as Sleeping Beauty, and her wheelchair will be turned into a Princess carriage.

“One thing Jessie has taught our family is that no matter what challenges life throws at you, giving up and losing HOPE is not an option, and that you always have the ability to help those around you. All a parent can ever dream of for their child is that they grow up and make their mark on the world and make it a better place for others and Jessie does that every day. Jessie is determined to LIVE life and it is our job as her parents to help her achieve that each day,” Merlie said. Jessie has been tubing down the Yadkin River, gone up in a hot air balloon, ridden horses and motorcycles since being confined to her wheelchair.

Jessie had been invited to be in the parade in years past, but it conflicted with Jessie's Ride of Hope, an annual benefit motorcycle ride with event proceeds going to the NTSAD (National Tay Sachs and allied diseases) research. “Each September across the country NTSAD families host their own "Day of Hope" events in their area to raise funds for the NTSAD but also to raise awareness for children like Jessie fighting a monster disorder that most people have never even heard of,” Merlie said. This year Jessie’s ride happens the weekend before the Halloween Parade, September 14.

Jessie’s Ride:

The idea of having a motorcycle benefit ride happened after the family moved to Wilkes from Boone after Jessie graduated high school. Merlie said “We did not know anyone here; but because she loves motorcycles and music we started attending events at CrossRoads Harley Davidson and there Jessie not only found fun things to do, she found friends that quickly became her "Harley Family", and who accepted her and loved her unconditionally. When ever we would post her adventures on social media, other special needs families would say to us "We sure wish our child had biker buddies like Jessie" and that’s how the Facebook group “Riding for You” started.”

Her husband David suggested they create a Facebook group and match bikers to special needs individuals so every child could be blessed with "biker love" across the country.

Merlie said the group has been amazing and the start of several incredible friendships, with almost 2,000 around the world, including Italy, Norway, and even Australia, where the little girl there has GM-1 just like Jessie. .

Her Story:

As a child, before her disorder stole a lot of her abilities from her, Jessie loved going on adventures, like climbing to the top of the climbing wall at Footsloggers in Boone and ringing the bell at the top. Then she began to get clumsy, and her foot started turning inward.

It took 13 yrs of searching with several doctors and hospitals before she was successfully diagnosed by the National Insititute of Health (NIH), in Bethesda Maryland, which is the government's premier medical research facility, with a small group of scientists, led by Dr. William Gahl, devoted to unraveling and finding cures on only the hardest of the hard cases in the Undiagnosed Diseases Program; these are illnesses so rare they don't appear in any medical book. So far, Gahl and his team have solved cases eluding elite institutions across the U.S., discovered two new genetic diseases, with a dozen more under scientific review.

Jessie was featured on 60 minutes program “Hard Cases: Investigating rare & tough diseases” with Dr, Gahl. In the interview Dr Gahl’s definition of “rare” is different than the legal one. A rare disease in the United States is “one that affects fewer than 200,000 individuals out of the 350 million citizens” in the United States. To a scientist, that doesn’t classify as rare. He said “When we're talking about rare diseases, (it’s) affecting between one and 50 people in the world.”

Dr Gahl personally reviews 150 to 170 cases a year and decides who gets in and who gets rejected. Since genetic diseases often appear early in life, as they did with Jessie, 40 percent of the cases he accepts are children.

For nine years Jessie has been a vital part of their research for GM-1, and these recently lead to the first clinical trials for a cure. Although Jessie is too old to take part in the trials, she was integral in making it available for younger GM-1 patients. Her family holds onto the hope that soon the trials will expand to include the older children like Jessie fighting GM-1 so bravely.

Jessie is one of three across the globe with this disease that had outlived expectancy, and the only female. The oldest is Jorgen, 31, Eric, 29, and Jessie, who is now 27. When she was diagnosed at age 18 the NIH told her parents she would most likely pass within a few years, in her early 20’s. At her visit this past January, they said they never dreamed she would make it to 27 years of age.

Jessie has faced two major surgeries this year which currently have her in three casts (one on her hand and two on her feet) Her feet were curling inward and her big toe was under her foot so surgery, fusing joints and inserting pins was needed to straighten it all out. The hope is when she is all healed there will be less day to day pain and she will be able to stand again and wear shoes. Her mom says she still gets up every day with a smile on her face and a twinkle in her eye ready to enjoy the day.

Even all this hasn’t stopped Jessie from doing a project to help children in the High Country by collecting stuffed animals to give to the Guardians of the Children of the High Country to give away at their events. “We recently attended one of their bike nights and they gave Jessie a cute little Harley bear and we witnessed the joy it bought her as well as the other animals given to other children attending, and saw a perfect chance for Jessie to make a positive difference,” Merlie said. Jessie will be delivering her second donations of stuffed animals to the Guardians on July 21 at their next bike night in Wilkesboro, and will continue collecting them throughout the summer. She has already sent five large bags to the group.

About the Halloween Parade, Vendor Faire, and Games:

Saturday, September 28th, 2019 the fun begins at noon with food trucks and vendors opening for business. You may also purchase kids game tickets before the parade. The parade line-up starts at 12:30; where vehicles and floats can be decorated. At 1:30 p.m. the Mayor of Wilkesboro, Mike Inscore, will judge parade entries. There will be 1st, 2nd, 3rd, and Mayors Choice awards. At 2:00 p.m. the parade begins with Grand Marshall and the Little Brushy Mountain Railroad leading the parade. Walking groups will go next, followed by entry winners and all others. After the parade ends, games open for kids. Tickets are $5 per child and allow them to play all games and take a train ride.

Costume contest will take place at 5:00 p.m. Free Zombie Walk led by Digger the Zombie through downtown at 5:30. Event ends at 6:00 p.m.

This year, the HWHP is holding a tee shirt design contest. The organizers wanted to get the kids involved in the process, the thought being since the games are geared to kids it would be great fun for the kids to design the shirt fronts. Event Sponsors go on the back.

Contest Guidelines:

•Open to ages 15 & younger.

• Shirt design needs to be Halloween themed, must include a Child Abuse Prevention Team/Our House pinwheel somewhere in the design.

● No copyright infringement allowed; must be original artwork.

•Entry Deadline is July 21, 2019.

•Winner will be announced August 1, 2019.

•Email your picture to [email protected]

For more information about how to enter the parade, be a vendor, or provide a game or entertainment, email [email protected]. Follow the Facebook page Historic Wilkesborough Halloween Parade for updates.

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365news · 5 years

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365NEWS NEWSPAPERS HEADLINES FOR SATURDAY 8TH JUNE, 2019

365NEWS NEWSPAPERS HEADLINES FOR SATURDAY 8TH JUNE, 2019 *PUNCH* Policemen, officers pay to get juicy postings I admit that we failed to give Nigerians refinery --Kachikwu How Jay-Z became first hip-hop billionaire in history How executive, legislative rancour hampered Eighth Assemblys achievements Senate presidency: Gojes withdrawal divides PDP caucus ICPC arraigns judge for allegedly demanding N200m bribe Things to consider when changing apartments Sickle cell and loved ones Death lurking on pavements: Open manholes threaten lives in Asaba Students should learn to identify what works for them --Arogundade, first-class graduate Despite people's lack of confidence in me, I'm the only graduate in my family today --Kundulum, Gombe-based civil servant Would you sacrifice your job to save your marriage? Thyroid problems and fertility Firm begins LPG cylinder production, as Osinbajo inaugurates plant We are reversing adverse effects of pollution --FG FAAN to close parts of Lagos airport for six weeks Apapa gridlock: Bribe-taking FRSC personnel to be sacked, says spokesman Nigerias total imports rise by 25.84% in one year EFCC withdraws from Gojes N5bn fraud case Poll: Presidential tribunal resumes hearing of Atiku, PDPs petition Monday South-West monarchs vow to resist Fulani bandits as govs plan security summit AIT, RayPower FM back on air as court orders re-opening Insecurity: Governors meet Buhari, differ on state police *VANGUARD* Tension as cultists kill three persons in Ikorodu What if Saraki, Dogara had not emerged Politicians employ new strategies to deactivate Okowa's silent mode Level of insecurity in Nigeria is worrisome --Bishop Onuoha We're yet to take stand on State Police --Govs I'll not be a rubber stamp Senate President --Lawan Udu traditional council gives NPDC 14-day ultimatum over alleged neglect Obaseki condoles with family of late Eguavoen, extols his giant strides AIT/RayPower back after court overruled NBC, fixed June 13 for hearing Nigeria is sitting on a tripod, comprising Hausa/Fulani, Yoruba and Igbo Anambra: CMD begs striking doctors to return to work, urges more negotiations A new beginning for Zamfara State UBTH, OKPEKPE: When Obaseki failed to meet Oshiomhole! FG targets 5,000,000MT LPG utilisation in 10 years Breaking: AIT back on-air, resumes broadcast after NBC's ban Ecobank hosted by London Stock Exchange after successful $500m Eurobond issuance Obaseki lauds 6th Edo Assembly for deepening democracy NNPC's gas subsidiary, NGMC, posts N12bn profit MTN Group unveils AI service for mobile money My second term will be pay back time in Benue --Ortom Thousands protest price hikes, corruption inyouth's Liberia Imo West: INEC 'grudgingly' agrees to issue Certificate to Okorocha President Buhari remains father of all --Igbo youths *THE NATION* Monarch backs Ogun Assembly on 75 Obas Starting on a faulty note: The governors that got it twisted From filthy to fresh Lagos Why is there blackout each time it rains? When Dapo Abiodun danced like deaf and dumb Group advocates restructuring as solution to Nigeria's problems 14 lions on the loose in South African province Alleged rights violation: Prison boss orders investigation Passport issuance: Immigration officers are still collecting bribe --Babandede SEC intimidation: Two Oando directors quit Food safety everyones business, says NIFST Runsewe commends Emefiele for creative industry financing initiative Aspiring filmmakers invited as MTF Academy entry closes Closure of AIT, others: Court orders maintenance of status quo as at May 30 Dollar rain for senators-elect Limping DAWN secretariat in Ibadan Yaris many dashed hopes APC openly embraces self-destructive bent CYCDI congratulates Sanwo-Olu THE KIND OF MAN I WON'T MARRY Big Brother Naija star Alex Unusual Loving you makes me happy, Bambam tells Teddy A Eniola Badmus to launch YouTube Channel IM ALL ABOUT CONTENT SMART KHIDDY *THISDAY* Sena Anthony, Oghogho Akpata Resign from Oando Board CFAO Motors Re-starts Suzuki Vehicles in Nigeria NNPC Subsidiary, NGMC, Makes N12bn Profit Seedlings for Anambra Farmers BMW, JLR to collaborate for Next Generation Electrification Technologies You Cant Stop the Future: Auto Braking Tech Makes Roads Safer New Touring Specification for the Worlds Fastest Production Sedan, Jaguar XE SV Project 8 Winners Emerge in Kelloggs Superstar Contest Promasidor Restates Commitment to EmployeesSafety Schneider Electric New Products MTN21 Days of Yello Care to Address Youth Unemployment New Eko Innovation Centre Unveiled Aircraft Acquisition and Growth of Nigerian Airlines 9th National Assembly: Men Urged to Elect Woman Speaker, Leader Osinbajo: FG Targets 33.3m Cooking Gas Adoption in 10 Years Ninth Assembly: 35 Political Parties Declare Support for Gbajabiamila Buhari Has Reduced Criminality in Niger Delta Centralisation of Nasarawa Revenues Court Orders INEC to Immediately Issue Certificate of Return to Okorocha Ensure Even Spread of Developmental Projects, Cleric Charges Abiodun Tinubu and 20 Years of Unbroken Democracy in Nigeria Alleged N6.9bn Fraud: CJ Transfers Fayoses Case to New Judge Bulkachuwa and Presidential Election Panel *THE SUN* Impunity killing Nigeria --Phillip Asiodu PDP governors call for state police, condemn shutdown of AIT 9th Assembly Speakership: Coalition of 35 political parties back Gbajabiamila BREAKING: Speakership: Court quashes Area Court's summon on Gbajabiamila CAN passes vote of confidence on APC, Oshiomhole Edo 2020: Obaseki meets Buhari Imo west: Okorocha forgives those behind his certificate of return travail Appeal Court dismisses suit challenging Gov. Babagana Zulum of Borno's election BREAKING: Imo West: Court orders INEC to issue certificate of return to Okorocha Court adjourns suit seeking Gbajabiamila's disqualification I want to defend like Marcelo, 'rule' like Marta --Ogbonna Tijani Babagida tips Eagles for AFCON glory in Egypt Nigeria/Zimbabwe friendly: Fans mob Mikel, Musa, Iwobi, Ndidi after training France 2019: Super Falcons ambush Norway without Ada Oduduru qualifies for 100m, 200m finals in U.S. Runsewe commends CBN for creative industry financing initiative NGMC declares #12bn profit Making career as real estate developer Deputy Senate president: Nigerians in Venezuela drum support for Kalu National fleet will help Nigerians lift crude oil for export --Dakuku 2019: How National Assembly widened govt's borrowing gap --Udoma CBN pensioners commend Buhari on Emefiele's re-appointment We're not conducting verification of disengaged PHCN staff --BPE *GUARDIAN* PDP governors challenge FG to name states diverting LG funds I've lost weight since taking over from Ambode, says Sanwo-Olu It's tough promoting fitness to Nigerians --Ruby Agu Lagos Film Academy set to train young filmmakers Suspension of AIT, Raypower: Height of impunity, tyranny, says Timi Frank What Nipsey Hussel Meant To East Africans Respite on the Apapa traffic gridlock How to cook pasta like a chef All Shades Of Kasi Set To Light Up June 12 Group petitions Buhari, Ministry over illegalY charges on TSA by OAGF *DAILY TRUST* Certificate of return: We will obey court order on Okorocha --INEC Speakership: Kano Rep-elect, Dambazau, endorses Gbajabiamila Certificate of Return: INEC to meet over Imo West Senatorial District court order SGF unveils Democracy Day Exhibition, advises Nigerians on consciousness Atiku condemns shutdown of AIT In just 1 week, I have lost weight governing Lagos --Sanwo-Olu Your allegations against Buhari unfounded, MURIC tells NCEF Security: Military, Police to commence joint patrol in Osun Alleged N6.9bn fraud: CJ transfers Fayose's case to new judge We must never stop praying for lasting solution to insecurity in our country --CAN BREAKING: N3.4bn fraud: Kano Emirate Council confirms receipt of query Why Pastor Kumuyi cannot be wrong! Pride of Lions on the loose in South African province Home Remedy Alert! PROBLEM: 'Bitten and brushed' Try: baking soda NAFDAC closes company packaging unregistered honey in Abuja SMEs laud Jumia for business growth Manchester United agree Daniel James deal with Swansea Hazard signs 5-year deal with Real Madrid *TRIBUNE* Suspension of AIT, Raypower licenses height of tyranny, Timi Frank says BREAKING: AIT back on air Buhari meets with governors over worsening security How we escaped attack by armed herdsmen on Ife-Ilesa-Akure road, CAC Agbala Itura choir master recounts ordeal Jihadists have recruited heavily from Fulani pastoralists across West Africa --Report When a Congolese brings laurels to Nigeria Problems with Staphylococcus Milk from my breasts, My fiancee is HIV positive Bed wetting at age 12 Refuse management: Fear, concerns, as WAI returns in Lagos Okafor, Arimah make 2019 Caine Prize shortlist My husband stopped me from attending church, said he no longer loves me after I fasted, prayed for his breakthrough Children of fallen soldiers, policemen lament: Survival is a big challenge to us as orphans Two out of my wife's 8 lovers are dead; she draws knife, broken bottle at me when we fight My new album will remind people to hold on to our culture --Singer KCEE Theresa May quits, to remain PM until Conservative elects new leader *LEADERSHIP* Customer Emotional Connection To Your Brand Is Critical To Business Success --Angela-Catherine What Excessive Coffee Does To Your Body Infectious Diseases You Need To Be Wary Of. . Opposition Challenges Ayade To Account For N8bn Paris Club Refunds Akande Accuses Yoruba Leaders Of Instigating Religious, Ethnic Conflicts Kaduna Assembly Passes Religious Bill To Regulate Preaching Okorocha Lauds Judgement On Certificate Of Return I Have Lost Weight Since Becoming Gov -- Sanwo-Olu SEC Vs Oando: 2 Oando Directors Quit 8th Niger Assembly Passes 42 Bills Nasarawa Govt To Centralise Revenue Collection 9th Senate: Odds Favour Sen Boroffice For DSP Seat Court Orders FG To Halt Closure Of AIT, Raypower Babandede Tasks Promoted Comptrollers On Corruption, Human Rights Emir Of Gwandu Expresses Concern Over Almajiri Syndrome Police Parade Suspected Kidnap Kingpin, Others In Ebonyi Court Orders Nasarawa Govt To Pay Breeze FM N67m Benue Agency Laments Death Of Women From Birth Complications Deputy Senate President: Ngige, Onu, Others Make Case For South-East FG Unveils Arts Exhibition Ahead Of Democracy Day Speakership: High Court Reverses Area Court's Summon On Gbajabiamila Silky Kola For Menstrual Problem, Infertility, Others I Came Into The Industry Because I Enjoyed Making Music --Sunny Neji *BLUE PRINT* The judiciary in the Next Level Anxiety as 14 lions break loose in South Africa Sanwo-Olu: Governing Lagos not a tea party, I have lost weight in 1 week Nadal beats Federer, 1 leg away from grabbing 12th French Open title Yobe gov visits home town, inspects Boko Haram damages, pledges recontruction Group condemns industrial court's reinstatement of suspended SEC DG Kano emirate council confirmed receipt of query letter Economics, Economist, Financial Times and Nigeria Pictures: Buhari meet govs, security chiefs in search of solution to banditry, kidnapping, others Surprise as popular Nigerian comedian gives 9-year-old son mansion as birthday gift Coalition backs Gbajabiamila for speakership Yinka Ayefele denies welcoming triplets with wife Demolition: Court orders Nasarawa govt to pay Breeze FM N67m damages Excitement as Ibom air makes maiden commercial flight Freed at last! 101-year-old Nigerian man released from prison FG not serious with Ogoni clean up --Expert Sylva accuses Gov Dickson of falsehood over N120b loan Suspension of AIT, Raypower: Height of impunity, Tyranny, Says Timi Frank South-east APC meets Oshiomhole over Speakership, backs Nwajiuba Bala donates N5, 000 to each patient at specialists hospitalAppear time Anti-corruption group condemns plan to reinstate suspended SEC DG, Gwarzo Ex-army general joins Kogi guber race Akande blames Yoruba leaders for economic woes *BUSINESSDAY* Certificate of return: Nation's judiciary is Daniel that has always come to judgment --Okorocha Google warns of US national security risks from Huawei ban Three ways that Big Tech could be broken up US job growth stalls in May with just 75,000 added Kwara Gov appoints Chief of Staff, SSG, CPS South Africa's rand set for worst week since October Court orders reopening of AIT, Ray power After Buhari, there may be no more APC, says Onyebueke Strike threat: LUTH assures public of uninterrupted operations Export of manufactured goods soars 511 %, Q1 --NBS *SPORTS* "He makes everything easier" - De Roon reveals what it's like to play beside Barca-bound De Jong - Goal 2019 FIFA Women's World Cup: Falcons set to ruffle feathers on biggest stage - New Telegraph A-list riders to sparkle in City of Stars - CNN AFCON 2019: Mikel Banks On Youthfulness, Fitness For Glory - Daily Independent Africa Cup of Nations warm-up match results - Punch All Eyes on France as Womens World Cup Kicks off Tonight - Thisday Argentina 5 Nicaragua 1: Quick-fire Messi brace inspires rout - Goal Argentina 5 Nicaragua 1: Quick-fire Messi brace inspires rout - Goal Arsenal confirm Welbeck, five others exit - Punch Arsenal star Mesut Ozil marries in Istanbul, with Erdogan as best man - Vanguard *GOOD MORNING* Read the full article

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canbayinc-blog · 5 years

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Tips for Instagram Marketing and SEO for Your Business

Instagram is no longer a platform just for part time fun. It has opened a new way of marketer for businesses nowadays. On June 20, 2018, Instagram announced in an in-house event that it had reached 1 billion monthly active users after passing 800 million in September 2017 with 500 million daily users.

But, apart from this, it is also true that some companies are having a hard time adapting a new photo-gimmick platform. But, factually, Instagram can be a great platform for SEO (Search Engine Optimization) purpose, and to reach your marketing goals. Instagram has also launched some new features, including Instagram stories and new IGTV platform, which can be very useful for the entrepreneurs as well as marketers.

All you need to do is to make a killer Instagram strategy, which will definitely help you reach your SEO goals. Some of the tips that you can apply for the SEO process using the platform of Instagram can be read in the following points.

1.Complete Your Profile on Instagram

The first thing you need to do is complete the profile of your brand on Instagram. Include the logo of your company or pic that perfectly represents your firm in the profile picture. Besides, add the bio and the website link in your company. It is possible that people may not visit your website instantly, but as you will keep on adding the engaging posts, the chances of people visiting your website will increase.

2. Add Engaging Posts

There can be a number of ways to engage the users in your posts. You can repost the photos; like and comment on others’ pics; reply to the comments of users on your posts; add pictures of your company’s events, your services, workers in action, outcomes of your services; and there are a number of other options that you can use to engage the audiences.

For example, if you are a dentist, you can add the pics of teeth before and after the treatment, as you can see in an Instagram profile named @teethbeforeafter. Similarly, you can see a post of @isdentalcare, in which you can see a dentist on work.

But, have in mind, always posting like this may not be sufficient, and you need to add the things, which should retain the interests of the users. You can find a number of examples of the company events on Instagram.

3.Host Contents for Prizes

Hosting the contests is a prominent way to engage the audiences and promote the business or practice, and Instagram has been proven to be an excellent platform for contests.

You are just required to invest a little money for giving a specific number of prizes to the contestants on Instagram, and it will help you get thousands of followers, who may turn to your clients or customers any time. Hosting a contest for prizes means boosting your Instagram influence.

You need to keep in mind that Instagram is a picture-centric platform, and users are here to enjoy some excellent photographs in their feeds. So, your post would be photo-based. Your photo must be catchy and make sure that it should be attractive. Instagram also supports the small videos, so you can use videos also for the contents.

The contests can be run in the Instagram feeds as well as story section.

4.Research Keywords and Hashtags

What keywords and hashtags are being used on Instagram, it is also a subject to pay attention, because this is the aspect, which helps you in reaching the right audiences. Usually, the tools like Google Keyword Planner are used in SEO process to find out the keywords. But, you need to keep some different approach in the case of Instagram.

Of course, you can use some of the keywords as Instagram keywords to use in the posts, or as hashtags (by joining the words and adding it after # symbol), but, it is not sufficient. The reason is people use and search Instagram with a completely different mindset. They actually search for the images or small videos on Instagram and use the keywords accordingly.

A major power of Instagram is its hashtag support without any second thought. You can search according to different criteria when you are looking for the keywords.

First, you can use the words or combination of words, which best define your products, services or the post.

Another option is some trendy keywords. Whichever trendy keywords you feel are suitable according to your posts, you can use them and can attract the right audiences. For example, you can add the trendy keywords in restaurants’ post as you can see the New Year post of Arabella Hotel & Spa, in which it invites people to its restaurant. Apart from the post-related hashtags, the trendy hashtags such as #family, #travel etc. have also been used. Similarly, you can use the hashtags accordingly in your posts if you have some other business also

Apart from the above-mentioned ones, there are the trendy hashtags, which are launched to feature some big or little achievements of the industries. They ask to add the specific hashtags to get features in their accounts, and by using those hashtags, you can get the attention of wide audiences. For instance, in the profile of @teethbeforeafter, you can see the description as “Use the tag #teethbeforeafter to be featured”. In the posts of this profile, you can see the reposts of a number of profiles of dentists who have mentioned this hashtag in their posts along with their profile names.

The hashtags with the names of countries, cities, states etc. are also added by many users, which are helpful to get the random attention of the people who like to explore the posts of the places.

When your posts start becoming popular, some of them appear in the Google or Bing search results, which can help you in your business growth. Another thing is that the popular profiles get the clicks on their website names, which increases the traffic of your website, which is also helpful in increasing the visibility of your website.

5. Use Instagram Stories

Instagram Stories – this is the feature launched by Instagram on August 2, 2016, which was taken by Instagram from its competitor Snapchat. So, Instagram was not the first to launch the stories, but still, it gained a huge success.

According to Kurt Wagner of Recode, ‘Stories’ was Instagram’s smartest move yet. Kurt says in his article, “Instagram has turned a stolen idea into a massive hit.” Time to time, Instagram launches a number of updates in Stories, which are definitely beneficial for the entrepreneur.

#Basic Use of Instagram Stories

Instagram stories appear in a bar at the top of the feed. You can see the stories by entering into the profiles. Whenever someone shares something new, a colorful ring appears around the profile pic. By tapping the profile pic, you can see the story.

You can share images, 15-second videos, text and the Instagram feeds into the stories. More than one story can be shared in a single post, and the stories have the options to mention someone to attract his/her attention towards them; and to add hashtags, location and more. If your Instagram account is connected to Facebook, then you can directly share the Instagram stories to the Facebook stories (except when you share some internal post of Instagram to the story). There are some features in Instagram stories, which have been launched for the business purpose, which will be mentioned next.

#Instagram Stories for Businesses

Understanding the business usage of Instagram, the platform has started some features, which are advantageous for the entrepreneurs. One of the features is Instagram Stories Stickers. You can add location, weather etc. with the help of stickers, but for the businesspersons, the thing that is important is the survey that they can take via sticker option. This can be done with the help of question stickers.

Now, the shopping option can also be added to Instagram stories. According to Instagram’s own survey, “42% of women on Instagram surveyed in the US say they love to shop and consider it a hobby.”

All these options are perfect for increasing traffic on your website.

6.Marketing via Influencers

An excellent method to promote business on Instagram is to be in touch with influencers in order to push your brand messaging. Celebrities, well-known bloggers, or highly connected people can be influencers. So, find influencers and select who is suitable for your niche. Reach out to them and ask if they wouldn’t mind posting content for fees or free merchandise for helping to boost your SEO.

Influencer marketing is undoubtedly one of the most effective methods to promote your business or practice via Instagram and to boost SEO.

To Sum Up

Instagram is undoubtedly an excellent platform to promote businesses and to boost SEO. You can use the above-mentioned methods to promote your business or practices over Instagram.

But, Instagram marketing is a crucial thing and should be done in the way that it could give you the outcomes of the time you are investing in it.

To get the best outcomes, you can take the help of a social media marketing services. You can also take help for assistance of Instagram SEO or any type of social media or digital marketing.

This was originally posted on Tips for Instagram Marketing and SEO for Your Business.

#instagram marketing #Instagram SEO #social media marketing #digital marketing

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man-and-his-world · 7 years

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ASTANA, Kazakhstan — I was the only visitor in Greece. As I walked through the tunnel of philosophers, eager young Kazakhs accosted me. “This is the Greek alphabet! It has 24 characters, and it was the original language of science. Here, please, come and take a photo by the sea.” They hustled me over to a Mediterranean backdrop. They outnumbered me five to one, I succumbed to relentless explanation.

It was a sunny afternoon on the second day of EXPO 2017, held on the outskirts of Astana, the capital of Kazakhstan. The Expo boasts of being “the Olympics of economy, business, and culture,” a global event where each participating country showcases its national achievements in its own “pavilion” and crowds come to see pieces of the wider world. But today — at the first Expo ever held in a post-Soviet state — there weren’t any crowds.

***

The Expo was being held on the outskirts of Astana, near one of the city’s many construction sites, in a purpose-built park. Dubbed a “future city” but looking more like a vast conference center, the organizers claimed the site was self-powered, fueled by a mix of wind and water. Each pavilion takes up anywhere from one room to several floors in a giant ring of new buildings built to encircle a great sphere of black glass at the center, the Kazakhstan pavilion. Viewed from the west, the dome loomed over neighboring apartment buildings. “There’s two big ways to piss off the Kazakhs,” a delegate commented, “Mention Borat, or call the dome the Death Star.”

The obvious lack of attendees, by contrast, didn’t require mentioning. Greece wasn’t the only deserted pavilion. Many were barren of anyone except staff. A few of the big names — China, Germany, the United States — had clusters of a couple of dozen visitors at a time, but outside most nations I snaked my way through empty rail guards. On the avenues outside, two out of every three people were wearing lanyards. I eavesdropped on a conversation between two European delegates: “We have to plan for the worst-case scenario — if there are no visitors to our event.”

For years, the Kazakh organizers had been quietly ramping down the tallies of expected attendees at the three-month event; 5 million, 3 million, now 2 million. On opening day, the official figure was 10,000 visitors, and even that was a generous rounding-up. The next day, the crowds were even barer. In the Chinese pavilion, a CGI video showed a fly-through of busy Expo grounds; outside the street was empty save for a janitor having a smoke. Come dinner time, the empty plastic tables and giant windows of the second floor of the food court gave it the air of a provincial airport at 2 am.

At the last Expo I attended, in 2010 in Shanghai, the streets had been jam-packed; the event saw 73 million visitors. The last “specialized” Expo — the generally smaller events, like this one, held in between the quinquennial “world” Expos — was hosted by the coastal Korean city of Yeosu in 2012 and drew 8 million. Officially, Astana had sold 670,000 tickets — but there were serious doubts about how real many of those sales were. There were few doubts, by contrast, about the event’s $3 billion to $5 billion price tag.

So, what had the organizers of the Expo been thinking in awarding the event to Astana in the first place? And why had this remote capital asked for it?

The Expo used to be an international headline event, an opportunity for hosts and guest countries to show off for a mass audience. The first, in London’s custom-built Crystal Palace in 1851, embodied all the power and glory of Victorian Britain. The 1889 Exposition Universelle left the Eiffel Tower dominating Paris. The New York World’s Fair of 1939, “Building the world of tomorrow!” sung a science-fiction utopianism of atomic cars and robot servants. Through much of the Cold War, the United States and the Soviet Union erected pavilions boasting of their social and technological supremacy.

But since the 1980s the Expo has largely dropped off the radar of the Western public. The events are still sanctioned by the Bureau International des Expositions (BIE) in Paris, but, in an era of easy communications and cheap flights, there’s less thrill in seeing a little bit of Spain or Thailand or Egypt on display. Meanwhile, private corporations have come to play a far larger role in Expo events, using it as an opportunity to show off products and woo potential clients. The U.S. government, for its part, is barred by a 1999 law from providing funds for its own pavilion, forcing it to depend entirely on corporate sponsorships.

In the developing world, however, the Expo remains an object of fascination. For the public in these parts of the world, there’s still a buzz associated with glimpsing faraway places and peoples; for governments, such events still qualify as a rare chance to show off for a sizable (if shrinking) international audience. As an editor at China’s state-backed Global Times in 2010, I was obliged to work on dozens of pieces about the Shanghai Expo and its importance to the country. (They were incredibly boring, true, but that’s state media; it could have been the Sex Olympics and it would still be leaden.)

It was inevitable that Kazakhstan would bid to host the event. With its massive natural resources, it has been the most successful of its Central Asian neighbors at picking itself up out of the ruins of the Soviet Union. Under autocrat Nursultan Nazarbayev, the former Communist Party boss who took over without trouble when the Soviet Union collapsed, the economy has grown steadily even as its press remains shackled and corruption rampant. Its international recognition has also remained low.

Since the 1990s, the country has been making an earnest bid to correct this latter deficiency by serving, whenever possible, as a host for the rest of the world. In recent years, it has been the site of everything from international football gatherings to meetings of religious leaders to Syrian peace talks.

Part of the country’s drive to stage such events is Nazarbayev’s own ego. At 76, he’s increasingly conscious of his legacy; one of Astana’s main buildings is the Museum of the First President of the Republic, a mausoleum erected even before his death. Many of the gatherings are pointless; the World Religious Congress, commented one interfaith expert, was “a complete waste of time, developed along the old lines of the Soviet Religion and Peace events, which were likewise a front for repressive regimes trying to look nice.”

But it’s more than that. Like other Central Asian states, outsiders barely know where Kazakhstan is or who the people are. Finding a national story to tell the rest of the world (or, to use business-speak, a brand to sell) has been important for Kazakh pride.

The line they’ve settled on is hospitality. While other Central Asian nations have largely failed to find a post-Soviet identity, the Kazakhs know what they’re pushing. Kazakhs are very, very keen to tell you how friendly they are. “The Expo is very important to us because Kazakhs are a naturally friendly people. And we want to welcome everyone,” said Tilik Zhunnunsova, an office manager in Astana. “Because Kazakhstan was a place of trade on the old Silk Road, guests are always welcome in Kazakhstan.” In the Kazakh pavilion at the Expo, an entire wall was dedicated to explaining the importance of being a good host.

That hospitality culture is real, but hardly unique. It’s a shared tradition with roots in Turkish and Arab nomadism throughout Central Asia and the Middle East, not a Kazakh creation. Kazakhstan has spent billions on these events — a high cost for a nation where nearly half the population still lives on about $70 a month. But as a national story for a young nation, it’s not a bad one. “The thing I really admire about the Kazakhstanis,” says Anthony de Angelo, the communications director for the USA pavilion, “is that at a time when everyone else is turning away from the rest of the world, they want to embrace it.”

***

Kazakhstan’s path to hosting the Expo was straightforward. It put in its bid in 2012, when the only competitor was Liège, in Belgium. As the previous Expo, Milan 2015, had also been in Europe — and as Kazakhstan was flush with oil money, while Belgium was in the middle of the Continent’s debt crisis — it was an easy win. The BIE boasted of this being the first Expo event in a post-Soviet nation.

Like the Olympics, the Expo has become a less tempting event in straitened times, a surefire money-loser that’s alluring mostly to those who want to shove to the forefront of the global stage. Kazakhstan almost took the 2022 Winter Olympics too, losing by just four votes to Beijing, the only other contestant left; every other city had dropped out due to popular objections or financial constraints.

But that’s where the first blunder was made. The natural location for the Expo should have been Almaty, the country’s largest city and former capital. Almaty is not only big, it’s also relatively easy to reach — not only for Kazakhs, but for Central Asian neighbors.

Since 1997, though, Kazakhstan’s government has been based in the new city of Astana, 600 miles north of Almaty in the high reaches of the country bordering Siberia and surrounded by nothing but the steppe. The city is a cross between a theme park and a construction site; shopping malls sit next to grand palaces (built, unsurprisingly, to host global events) while the shells of new apartment blocks rise around the edges. Nazarbayev threw oil money at famous architects like Japan’s Kisho Kurokawa and the United Kingdom’s Norman Foster to design the new city, and so it’s stuffed with gleaming monumental landmarks that look as though they’re about to transform and fight the Autobots.

Much of Astana is beautiful — but it’s also half-empty, and hotels are ludicrously expensive, driven up by the flow of all-expenses paid foreign delegations and provincial officials. “The city is frenetic,” the head of the USA pavilion, Joshua Walker, imaginatively told Forbes magazine. It was true that the opening ceremony produced a rare traffic jam: a long procession of SUVs with individualized license plates. But at best, Astana was going at a gentle amble; when I strolled through the city I frequently found myself alone, usually next to a gold-plated statue or a bush in the shape of a dinosaur.

There was also almost no effort to draw visitors from outside Kazakhstan. A desultory marketing campaign in Russia had looped in a handful of guests, but in Kazakhstan’s other neighbors, there was almost nothing. Air Astana promised free Expo tickets to anybody flying in; at both Almaty and Astana airports the machines issuing them were broken. I found a pair of lost Chinese tourists looking over a map in an Astana park (“I think we’re here, look, here’s the big glass pyramid.”) One of them, Mr. Tan, turned out to live a few miles from me in Beijing. A retired Communist Party official, he was an Expo enthusiast. “I loved Shanghai!” he said, delighted at the memory. “It had a little bit of so many countries! So I was so happy when I saw there was another Expo near China this year!” But they were the only ones. Being a host is wonderful, but it helps to invite guests.

On top of that, there was a palpable resentment toward the Expo from many Kazakhs. Plenty of people were proud of it — “We have been preparing for this for four years! Even little children know what the Expo is!” said Nikolai German, a Russian-Kazakh shop owner. But Kazakh social media was lit up with complaints about being forced to buy tickets, about pension funds being divested toward Expo funding, about the absurdity of spending billions on a vanity project when “half the country still shits in a hole in the ground.”

Then there was the corruption. The Kazakh government has already acknowledged that millions of dollars were stolen during the construction process. In part because of the fallout of squabbles among the country’s oligarchical elite, the official in charge of the Expo, the chief construction manager, and the Expo firm’s managing director were all arrested for embezzlement. This wasn’t surprising; Kazakhstan is a deeply corrupt country, and the Expo, like any big event, a playground for thieves. The Milan Expo in 2015 was wracked by corruption scandals, adding to the prevailing cynicism about the event.

“The government is running tramps through the turnstiles to keep the numbers up,” another resident of Astana told me confidentially, refusing to give me his name. (Kazakhstan ranks 157th in the world for press freedom, and dissenters are frequently arrested.) “Of course I won’t go!” proclaimed Talgat, a construction worker. “That’s for people like you!” He poked me in the chest with a calloused finger. “Not people like me.”

But maybe the biggest problem with attracting visitors was that the majority of the Expo was boring. The exhibition’s theme — “Future Energy” — meant an endless sequence of corporate videos about the sun (good) and wind (also good). The bigger the petro-state, the more time the pavilion spent talking about how committed they were to alternative energy. “Please come to the Shell pavilion,” one of the Kazakh staff implored me, “It is a very brilliant company.” Many of the videos ended with young women in diaphanous clothing turning to smile at the viewer; the Israelis one-upped this by having a live dancer — in diaphanous clothing — as a treat after you’d sat through their video.

More generally, hardly anyone’s heart seemed to be invested in the proceedings. The technology on display in the pavilions was an endless stream of the same ideas; over and over again, I pressed buttons to light up diagrams of sustainable houses. In some pavilions, budgets had clearly been rapidly scaled down; Venezuela was nothing but an empty room with some photos of the country on the walls. (“Fuck those guys for even coming, though,” another delegate commented. “How dare they even buy plane tickets when their country’s on fire?”)

The national slogans started to blur together: Land of Energy, Energy in the Air, The Power of Energy, Energy on the Move. “What is the source of infinite energy?” asked a voice-over at the USA pavilion. “It’s people. You, me, all of us, together.” I looked around to make sure we weren’t about to be processed as Soylent Green. Later there was a song. “There’s an energy moving through the air/It’s the land we love, it’s the land we care/There’s an energy in the world we do/and when we use it our dreams come true.”

Among all this, there were a few outstanding exceptions, like a great German pavilion full of things to push, pull, and hold, culminating in a stunning laser show. The designer of the British pavilion, Asif Khan, bearded, skinny, and deeply sincere, showed me around. “The whole landscape’s computer generated, down to the leaves,” he said, pointing to the 360-degree display around a central yurt made up of hanging graphene tubes. “And the weather’s randomized — but the more people touch the tent, the more the weather’s influenced by them.” I watched a Kazakh boy run his hand along the tubes, delighted as they lit up in the darkness. “Look,” Khan said, “If one Kazakh kid sees this, and he goes away wanting to be a scientist, or an engineer, if he takes something away from it — then my job’s done.”

Occasionally, you could see glimpses of the point of the whole affair, beyond the branding exercises. The American “student volunteers” took pictures with local visitors, snapping them by the pavilion’s “HOLLYWOOD” sign and chatting with them in Russian. “For a lot of Kazakhstanis, this may be the first time they’re meeting a real live American,” said de Angelo, the communications director. “And so we want to make it stick. But it was when we announced that they’d be a cowboy show that people’s faces at the TV event really lit up.”

A few nations had had the common sense to bring musicians. As Lithuanian folk dancers, adorned in pointy hats, twirled outside their pavilion, a crowd gathered to laugh, clap, and do-si-do with them. For a moment, the whole thing seemed worth it. Then I took a closer look at the crowd. Of the 20 people there, only four weren’t other delegates.

#Expo 2017 #Astana #World's Fair

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tl-notes · 7 years

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Kobayashi’s Maid Dragon Episode 5 Notes

Miso soup has extremely strong associations with home and family in Japan. It’s a staple of breakfast and dinner tables, especially when paired with rice (which is common, to say the least), and is a very traditional dish with a long history.

It’s such a big deal, even, that the question “I want to eat the miso soup you make every day,” is a stereotypically Japanese marriage proposal.

When I say “stereotypically Japanese,” I mean that Japanese people see it that way. The Japanese language and culture tend to be pretty “indirect” compared to others (particularly English, which everyone in Japan spends years in school studying), and people in Japan are very aware of this. A common example given in schools is the famous translation by Natsume Souseki, where he translated the phrase “I love you” in an English text to “The moon is beautiful, isn’t it?” in Japanese.

Anyway there’s some context for this scene, and in particular the choice of miso soup as the dish Kobayashi commented on.

You’ll notice they have at least four umbrellas there. It’s easy for those cheap vinyl ones to pile up when you have to do a bunch of walking (even just to/from the train station); you can’t just keep one in the car, and if it starts raining on a day you didn’t bring one...

By the way, in case you were thinking “four for three people isn’t that many though,” she had a different four in episode one, even before Tohru showed up:

Also: man, that before&after. Good for you Kobayashi ;_;

She says “aitsura あいつら” here, meaning they not she; basically Kanna, at least, is being included here.

These shows totally exist, they look exactly like this, and they literally have done this topic. In fact, this specific topic is a common one, with the list being updated every so often. “Wide show” is actually the name of this type of show, a subset of the infamous “variety show.”

Number one is “Kabe-don” (kabe = wall, and don = sound effect for like “slam/bang”). Originally the word was (and still is) used to refer to when people in the next room over would bang on the wall to politely inform you that you’re being too fucking loud it’s after midnight already god damn.

In the past few years though, the word caught on as a meme, referring to a common situation that pops up in shoujo manga a lot, where the(/a) love interest would do this:

to the heroine. This specific usage of the term was seemingly coined by voice actress Shintani Ryoko (Sae from Hidamari Sketch) in 2008, while she was trying to explain the act on a radio show when discussion “moe situations”.

Kabe-don’s popularity seems to have died down some lately though (since honestly it’s pretty awkward irl).

The others are pretty self-explanatory I think, though it’s perhaps worth pointing out that yes, these are all things you actually can find on these lists. If “holding hands in public” sounds way too normal/basic to be on one to you, well, welcome to Japan.

(To be fair it’s not like super rare or anything, just not as common as you’d expect in many other countries and kind of considered a little embarrassing, particularly for men.)

Another semi-recently popular one of these “moe whatevers” is ago-kui 顎クイ, basically “chin tug/pull”, where the kui-er grabs the kui-ee’s chin to pull their face closer or whatever (often as a precursor to a kiss, for example). It’s a common pair with the kabe-don.

Basically the takeaway here is that Japan’s been making memes real since way before 2016 came along.

The word for “pursue love” here is kyuuai 求愛, which is probably most commonly used when referring to the mating calls/rituals of animals (as seen by how Tohru likens the audience/panel squeals to bird cries). You can use it with people too, but it’s not exactly very conversational language.

Lol.

Also yeah “Tatsumi 辰巳” has that dragon zodiac kanji in it again. By the by, while there’s no Tatsumi-cho in Tokyo, there is just a “Tatsumi.” It’s by Tokyo Bay, within walking distance of Comiket-host Big Sight and the life-sized Gundam statue, and roughly where a lot of March Comes in Like a Lion is set.

These fish flags/wind socks (they’re koi, trying to climb the waterfall and become dragons, i.e. Magikarp) are traditionally put up on Children’s Day, May fifth. Yet another way Kyoani uses these establishing shots to tell you what season it is and invoke certain associations.

You’ll see this “48 ___ skills/techniques” thing a fair bit in Japanese media; it’s a reference to the 48 Killer Techniques of Kinnikuman/Ultimate Muscle (I think that’s as far back as the reference goes, anyway).

Yes, the name of the store in the background has one of the dragon kanji in it’s name (the lower portion of 籠, 龍).

Yeah this is what most Japanese office workplaces look like; open office plans. It’s kind of stressful having no privacy like that, but it does make it easier to ask people stuff I guess.

The “proper” version of this word is sumimasen すみません, basically meaning sorry/excuse me. What he says is saasen サーセン, a rather colloquial version of it. It kind of goes like: sumimasen → suimasen → sunmasen → saasen.

This sort of thing is quite common in Japanese, especially when there’s a set way you’re supposed to say something (as is common) that has a lot of syllables. Another example you might hear is arigatou gozaimashita being shortened down to azashita, typically at a convenience store or something, from an employee who’s busy with something else and just saying it because they have to.

What he says here is shou ga nai しょうがない. If you’ve ever picked up on how often “can’t be helped” or similar seems to be said in anime...this is what that is. It’s an incredibly common phrase in Japan, not just in anime but irl as well. It literally means that there’s nothing that can be done, and can be used in a broad swath of situations. It’s actually fairly similar to “oh well” in a number of cases.

Like above, it has several variations depending on how formal/informal you want it: shikata arimasen, shiyou ga nai, shou ga nai, shaanai, etc. etc.

Very minor nuance point, but she says she thinks dragons are superior (~が上, are “above”). “I think dragons are better” sounds, to me, more like indicating preference (”I like dragons better”), whereas the Japanese line has more of an observational tint to it (”Dragons appear to be superior”).

Again, minor and arguable point, but if I didn’t like to be pedantic I wouldn’t be writing these things.

Similar situation as the above, but I would say this is referring specifically to Kobayashi; more “she hasn’t noticed, has she?” than “no one.”

This is actual code, you can find it in places like here.

I like how the lint roller seems to have pink hair on it.

Also, just to restate, this is totally a Japanese everyworkplace and it is kind of giving me flashbacks.

The word for “abusing power” here is pawahara パワハラ, short for power harassment, another Japanese English-ism. It’s often paired with sexual harassment (sekuhara セクハラ) when discussing abuse in the workplace, and both are illegal. A common and particularly serious example of it is forcing people to work unpaid overtime at the threat of being fired.

Another nuance thing, but Saikawa here is not so much asking Kanna to draw her, but more expressing surprise, like “Wait you’re willing to draw me?”

Saikawa (才川)’s name, by the way, sounds like “the cutest” (最カワ). If you’ve heard of the Saimoe contests, it sounds like that but the kawa from kawaii instead of moe, a common sort of abbreviation.

Hmmm, I wonder what this could mean...

Ah.

You’re supposed to offer a drink to visitors in Japan, both to your home or to your office (like people from another company there for a meeting). I imagine that’s not exactly unique to Japan by any stretch, but as a custom it’s given more weight than in many others. A question of degree, I guess.

I’m sure there’s some reasoning behind the change in drinks from hot tea to orange-whatever, but who knows what. My guess is that it’s (possibly among other things) another way to show that the seasons are changing; it was cold the first time he came, so a hot drink, and warmer the second, so a cold drink. (Not to say there was a long time skip between the two necessarily, but of course the weather can change on a dime in spring, chilly one day and surprisingly hot the next.)

The way he phrases this, o-tenami haiken to ikou ka お手並み拝見と行こうか。is some pretty fancy language. Nothing much to say about it specifically that the translation doesn’t convey, but just a general note that Fafnir regularly uses less conversational language than the rest of the cast (as you might expect from his demeanor) in ways the subs don’t necessarily make clear.

As an inverse example, this line from earlier:

“Shall we go home?” sounds sorta fancy, but the Japanese line, just “kaerokka 帰ろっか,” is casual as fuck.

This is one of those things that can be difficult when translating Japanese to English, as Japanese has many different ways of saying literally just the same word but with different levels of formality, where in English you have to come up with different ways to phrase it to try and capture both the meaning and the formality level. Possible, but often time-consuming.

A family registration, koseki 戸籍, refers to document proving, basically, your family tree. When the government, way back when, was deciding how to administer the population, they figured it would be easier to group people into family units and have the family choose a head of household that would both represent them and have responsibility for them.

So they created this family registry system, where everyone* is registered as a member of a family. The “head of household” thing isn’t so important anymore, but the registry still fulfils the role of birth/death certificates, keeps track of marriages/divorces/adoptions, is proof of citizenship, and is effectively a constantly-updated census.

There can only be one family name per koseki, so it’s impossible to get married and not change your last name (unless you happen to have the same last name already); one of the two must join the other’s koseki and take on that name.

*Everyone, who is a citizen that is. Foreigners who marry a Japanese citizen are listed on the registry, but are not officially part of it.

Note that you usually don’t actually need this necessarily to rent an apartment irl. Usually a juumin-hyou 住民票 covers it.

“But wait,” you ask, “why does it say proof of citizenship in the sub when she says juumin-hyou, if the koseki is the proof of citizenship and the family registration?” as I put several words in your confused and increasingly angry mouth.

Well, probably because either the translator wasn’t familiar with these minor details and isn’t paid enough to look them up, or they felt that would make more sense to the average viewer.

A juumin-hyou 住民票 is actually a certificate of residency. It keeps track of your address and various other personal details (immediate family, social security number equivalent, birthdate, etc.). This one foreigners can get, assuming they have a proper visa, and is the one you’ll need to do most things like opening a bank account or signing a lease agreement.

Note that this thing means you’re required to fill out paperwork at city hall whenever you move, so they can keep it updated with your correct address.

A “personal seal” is a little stamp with your name, which is used like a signature would be in many other countries (i.e., for signing contracts and such). Make sure it doesn’t get stolen!

Often, people will have three of these that each have different levels of authority. The “real” one (jitsu-in 実印), for contract signing, must be registered with the government so they can prove it’s really yours. The “bank” one (ginkou-in 銀行印), registered with the bank upon opening a bank account (can be the same as the jitsu-in if you want it to be). And the “Amazon delivery” one (mitome-in or nin-in 認印), which isn’t registered officially anywhere, and is probably most often used nowadays when “signing” for a package delivery.

Of course, Tohru just magicked all of these into existence, because she can do that. Augh.

I know Fafnir. I know.

The kanji for Ooyama (大山) mean “big mountain,” and the kanji for Takeshi (猛) means basically “ferocious.”

The building in the background here is a bank!

The building in the background here is a business that dispatches staff to support elderly people who can’t fully live on their own!

Another fairly minor point, but here she’s saying “I don’t think I’d call those feelings ‘regret’.” not “I don’t want to [...].” (だけど私はその気持ちを後悔とは呼ばないと思います). Not a big difference, but possibly an important one depending on how deeply you care to read into things.

The word here for “green,” ao 青, usually means “blue.” And in fact sometimes the “green” traffic lights in Japan actually are blue. However, up until relatively recently, the “ao” color word actually covered both blue and green (now midori 緑 is the usual word for “green”). This relative lack of distinction between blue and green is actually common in many languages.

As a random anecdote, a Japanese acquaintance of mine who was living in America once got pulled over for running a red light. Though their English was very good, they still got mixed up and kept trying to tell the police officer “I’m sorry I thought the light was blue,” which made for a very awkward talk.

This sign means Go. The game, not the verb. You know, this one.

The kanji for “money” (kane 金) is also the kanji for gold (usually “kin”).

Tadpole is another spring season word.

Probably unrelated, but one Japanese variant of the saying “like father like son” is “the child of a frog is a frog.”

The word for “psychic powers” (such as ESP) in Japanese is basically “super abilities.”

And the word for “magic trick” (at least, the one used here) is tenjina 手品, more like “hand trick” (in a literal sense, anyway). Magic trick is a perfectly good translation, but since they were just talking about how it wasn’t magic and clearly don’t know what a “magic trick” is, I just wanted to give some context as to why that line sounds less off(?) in the Japanese.

Like in the last episode with cute/kawaii, Kanna says “kami” the first time and “god (goddo)” the second. You...probably noticed that, but yeah.

"To enter [into] your hand” (te ni ireru/hairu 手に入れる/入る) is an idiom that means to get/gain/obtain. Like in a Zelda game or something when you open a treasure chest and get an item, this is the phrase used. Or when someone is elected to a high office, they’ve “te ni ireru’d” themselves some political power.

It’s a super common phrase, such that...and I hesitate to say this...I actually don’t think it was an intended pun(!). As in, I don’t think a native speaker would recognize that it was supposed to be one, even if it was intentional. It’s the kind of joke that’d be so painful you’d have a bunch of people gnashing their teeth about it online, and I haven’t been able to find any of that.

The word here is detarame でたらめ, which is closer to something like bunk, bullshit, nonsense, etc. “Fiction” feels a little too kind.

As mentioned in episode one, the kanji for waterfall (滝), minus the water radical (氵), is a kanji for dragon (竜). Conveniently, the water radical is cut off quite cleanly by the edge of the screen. What a strange coincidence.

Their clothes both say “dragon,” just Tohru’s has the kanji for it (ryuu 竜) and Kanna’s has it in hiragana (ryuu りゅう), which is cuter/more childish.

Lol that they bought spoons just to practice with despite being able to easily fix broken ones with magic anyway.

Yet another small nuance thing, but Kobayashi’s line leans more toward a sort of “it’s alright if you just do the things only you can do.” Again, minor and arguable, but it’s the difference between saying it’s okay to do something versus saying you should do something. (original: トールにしか出来ないことをすればいいんだよ）

Lunches in elementary school are eaten in the classroom, and typically served (as seen) by the students themselves; whoever’s on duty. The meals themselves are made by professionals, of course, and tend to be pretty healthy.

The “magic” she says here is actually the English word magic (majikku, rather), which in conversation is more likely to refer to magic tricks (similar to tejina above) than actual magic (which would generally be some variant of the Japanese word for it, mahou 魔法).

The stereotypical “hypnotism” item to swing in front of people in Japan is a 5 yen coin attached to string, rather than a watch. 5 yen coins have a hole in the middle, so it’s easy to tie a string to. Plus, they have a cultural connection to sort of supernatural stuff already; they’re a favorite for making donations at shrines and such because “five yen” (五円) is pronounced “go-en,” which is the same as a word for basically “fate” (ご縁).

Episode One Notes

Episode Two Notes

Episode Three Notes

Episode Four Notes

#kobayashi-san chi no maid dragon #miss kobayashi's dragon maid #maidragon #anime #translation notes

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bilalzahir · 4 years

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Bio-warfare in contemporary times - what are the possibilities

By: @Ace of Spades The term bio weapon has been around since quite long time, with it's ancient mention in text that is 1500–1200 BC years old; mentioning intent of driving diseased person to the enemy land to cause infections and catastrophe. Recorded occurred incidents dates back to 400 BC, when schythian archers dipped their arrows in infected feces and decaying corpses before raining them on enemies. Romans used to contaminate their swords with dead animal internals before going to war, increasing the chances of infection in wounded enemies. Venomous snakes were tossed in to enemy ships in second Macedonian war during 190 B.C. [1] The siege of port city Feodosia previously known as city of Kaffa is a well cited example by historians where bio weapon was used and brought black death plaque to mediterranean which swept Europe, Near East and North Africa in the midst of 14th century and was the greatest public health disaster in recorded history. During the siege of city of Kaffa, the Mongols threw the infected corpses inside the walled city via catapults. As a result, plaque spread in the city causing mass deaths, lots flew and brought the plague to Mediterranean and Italy. This claim however is contested by researchers as they believe that probably the plaque reached Europe via merchant ships with infected rodents. [2] In recent times during 18th century British army officers gave smallpox infected blankets to native Americans with intent to infect the population with it. Japanese army threw plague infested fleas via bomb to the Chinese city of Ningbo, which resulted in almost death of 400000 people. Such examples are seen through out afterwards with Britishers weaponizing plague, brucellosis, tularemia, equine encephalomyelitis and vaccinia viruses. US weaponizing anthrax, tularemia, brucellosis, Q-fever etc. These programs, however, were later terminated and treaties were signed under UN to ban the production and use bio-weapons, however research has been continuing ever since for prevention and weapon development as a "defensive tool". [1,3] Where we are today Till the end of 20th century numbers of countries such as U.S, U.K, Russia etc, conducted experiments on unsuspecting general population to see the effects and aftermath in case of an event caused by bio-pathological attack. Until 1990s the warfare capabilities were limited to naturally occurring pathogens. However, with recent advances in gene editing and more knowledge in to genome therapy over few decades have changed the ball game all-together by increasing the chance of potential threats and possibilities exponentially. In 1997 a novel by Richard Perton “The Cobra Event” was published. Story revolved around a fictional scenario in which bio-terrorism was done via genetically engineered super-virus. President Clinton of US during that time after reading the novel got sensitized towards such scenario and issued two Presidential Decision Directives to address national security deficiencies related to biological and chemical warfare. [4,5] Same year, in 1997, group of scientist called JASON group gathered to discuss the potential bio-warfare hazards and grouped potential genetically engineered pathogens in to six groups. [4,5] • Binary biological weapons Like conventional chemical mixing methodology, two different pathogens can be mixed and engineered before deployment of such weapon. Some bacteria which otherwise are harmless but when injected with disease causing plasmids, which is a disease causing genetic information, can induce disease in targeted population. • Designer genes Human’s genome has already been sequenced and so of hundreds of bacteria, viruses and multiple pathogens. With advances in the gene editing technologies it’s possible to make gene edited pathogens. Making new strains or antibiotic and antiviral resistant bacteria and viruses. Or make a completely new virus and pathogen with hybrid of attributes of multiple pathogen naturally present. • Gene therapy as a weapon Gene therapy is already being rolled out systematically for the cure of genetic disorders. However, the same principal can be used to edit human genes to insert a viral strains, which can inhibit certain genes in human cells. This can be linked to suppressing cells defense mechanisms or to disrupt vital cellular functions causing cell death. This can be achieved by using artificially created retro virus, which can inject the artificial genome into the host cell and becomes part of host DNA. • Stealth viruses Such viruses can enter human body and stay dormant for years, later can become expressive after exposure to a certain stimulus, this type of virus can be used for selective bio-warfare, in which a certain population can be exposed to a certain stimulus, which activates the expression of the viral genome. • Host-swapping diseases Naturally occurring viruses rarely jumps hosts, however, a certain virus which naturally infect an animal can be made genetically susceptible to infect humans. • Designer diseases Using all the above methodology a pathogen can be created to artificially construct a disease which can have certain symptoms, e.g. pneumonia, immuno-supression, muscle pain and even cancer. I would like to add another methodology which have became a potential area for bio-warfare is ethnicity based bioweapons. [6] Genetic material has been collected systematically of different ethnic groups by governments and with recent spike in commercial companies like 23x and me which collect genetic information of different countries and ethnicities and have the policy to use or share the collected data for research purposes has tremendously increased the chances of the data to be used by military organizations. Different ethnicities can be susceptible to a certain diseases more than the other based on their unique genetic composition. If a pathogen has to be created that can effect a certain group of people or ethnicity more than the rest, can cause selective ethnic based catastrophe. In 2017 Russia accused US of collection of DNA samples of russians “systematically and professionally”. There are certain groups who are resistant to certain diseases and if a super-pathogen has to be created that can bypass or suppress those genes that cause the natural resistance; such population can become vulnerable after an attack by such virus. With recent calamity caused by covid-19 lots of questions are being asked, if it is synthetically created virus that got leaked or it’s being used as a bio-weapon by some country. Short answer is that we don't know, however, history is full of such examples where countries have repeatedly done such acts to gain political, geo-strategical, military or economic benefits. Regardless of this current pandemic, there is a big chance that such catastrophe can be inflicted by some individuals/ governments for their material gain. And for that we need to prepare and make defenses around such strategy by conducting research in such likely scenarios and how to counter them effectively in case of such heinous event. References 1. Croddy, Eric (1966) Chemical and biological warfare a comprehensive survey for the concerned citizen, Available at: https://archive.org/details/chemicalbiologic00crod/page/218 2. Mark Wheelis (2002) Biological Warfare at the 1346 Siege of Caffa, Available at: https://wwwnc.cdc.gov/eid/article/8/9/01-0536_article . 3. PATRICK J. KIGER (2019) Did Colonists Give Infected Blankets to Native Americans as Biological Warfare?, Available at: https://www.history.com/news/colonists-native-americans-smallpox-blankets 4. Michael J. Ainscough, Colonel, USAF. (2002) Next Generation Bioweapons: Genetic Engineering and BW, Available at: https://fas.org/irp/threat/cbw/nextgen.pdf 5. MACKENZIE FOLEY (2013) Genetically Engineered Bioweapons: A New Breed of Weapons for Modern Warfare, Available at: https://cpb-us-e1.wpmucdn.com/sites...les/2015/12/DUJSVol15No2ConflictAndDecay.pdf# 6. British Medical Association (2004) Biotechnology, weapons and humanity II, Available at: http://bmaopac.hosted.exlibrisgroup.com/exlibris/aleph/a23_1/apache_media/ULX1B2DUSK72PQAUCN9

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jgmulticameraroduction · 4 years

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Different types of multi camera programs

Multi Camera production can be applied to a range of different genres across the media. There are six genres of TV that utilize multi camera techniques during production.

Sports

Sports is one of the most common genres to utilize multi camera production, whether it be a live event, or a discussion about the event, there is are always various cameras placed in specific points at specific angles. The most known example of this being BBC’s Match of the day.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h1gb_3-IFiY

In the clip above, Phil Big-wood discusses his role as executive producer of the show as well as how all the different departments come together to deliver the final product. For instance, he discusses how the feed from all 5 cameras must be the same, if the footage from camera 2 looks much brighter than the other cameras then this is an issue. Each camera used has a specific position it needs to be in in order to allow for the seamless transition from position to position. The gallery staff also play a big role as it is there job to not only instruct the camera operators on what shot they should be getting, but also being the ones to change the live feed that is being displayed. If the Gallery staff and the Floor staff are not coordinated then there will be major errors during the live broadcast. Actual broadcasts of sports also utilize a set up comprised of multiple cameras in order to capture the action taking place from a wide range of angles. Overall this is how a multi camera set up is used on sports related programming.

Concerts

Live music events are a prime example of a multi camera program. Concerts, acoustic sessions, live lounge and any other case of a artist/band performing live will require more than one camera. This is usually done in order to create some what of a flow of energy, quick cuts from different angles of the stage to even sometimes shots of the crowd are all done through a multi camera set up.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=opRM7iQowS0

Above is a performance from the Vaccines of their song Dream Lover from Radio 1′s big weekend in 2015. This performance contains two variety of camera shots, those being fixed/stationary shots and hand held shots from camera men on stage who change the position of what they are actually filming. For example there is a cameraman positioned to side of the bands drummer Pete Robertson who alters from a close up of the drums to a medium close up of Pete, other shots include handheld camera of the left side of the stage which highlights guitarist Freddie Cowan and Keyboard player Timothy Lanham, a gand held shot of the right side of the stage which highlights the basset Arni Arnason, a fixed shot of the center of the stage for the bands lead singer Justin Young. on top of these shots are also close ups of the acts faces for when they are singing, a camera behind the band and also multiple cameras facing the audience. All of these shots are filmed simultaneously and then certain angles are shown at certain times. This is a prime example of how multi camera is used effectively when recording a live music performance, the potions chosen and what order they appear in help to give performance somewhat of a fast paced action to it.

Public events

When major real events are taking place, effective coverage of these will require multiple cameras in order to capture what is taking place effectively, especially if it is a very large scale event.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r8Dhh1rHQlE

Above is a link for a series of highlights from Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s wedding which took place in 2018, the event was broadcast live on the day across the country. Due to the overwhelming scope of this event, a large ensemble of cameras stationed in different locations was required for the broadcast. There were drone operated cameras positioned above the wedding venue just to show the overwhelming amount of high profile individuals who had attended the event. Main positions in which cameras were placed include outside the venue at various heights in order for a good sense of scope, then cameras fixed on all the guests arriving, most of these were medium close up shots. In terms of inside the venue, every possible angle is covered from a wide center shot, to cameras with an extreme close up on both Harry and Meghan's faces during the ceremony, those present were also provided with a mounted wide shot as well. The event as a whole had such a wide range of positions used, what was important was that the timing of which camera would be shown and when was very important in allowing for those watching at home to feel almost as if they were there, the switching from camera to camera had to be almost seamless which overall was actually carried out quite well. Most big scale public events will more than likely use the same set up as the royal wedding did in terms of how it uses the multiple cameras at its disposal.

Game shows

When it comes to game shows, multiple cameras are almost a guarantee. There are many different perspectives and shot types within a typical game show.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Smk-57fImhM

Linked above is a clip from the hit UK game show Tipping Point hosted by Ben Shepherd, the first two camera positions we see are a an upward extreme closeup on the tipping point machine as the counters move and a high up wide shot of the machine in center frame with Ben and the contestant at the bottom of the shot, this is essentially the shows equivalent of an establishing shot. There is a camera positioned to the left of the machine which carry's out an extreme close up of a counter as it falls. For most of when the machine takes up the whole shot the contestant usually appears in the bottom corner through a shot of just their face. As with any game show, there are two cameras positioned at a medium close up (meaning from the shoulders to the head) for both the host and the contestant are used to allow for a series and J and L cuts to take place while they talk. While Tipping Point is the example I have chosen above, these shot types/camera positions are common in most game shows, they are quite often an effective use of a Multi camera set up.

Chat shows

Chat shows are very formulaic in terms of set up, in regards to cameras and where they are positioned, you can expect to find a medium close up of the shows host, a medium close up of a single guest or of multiple guests at once. A wide shot of all the guests, an even wider shot of the entire studio and of course multiple cameras on the audience.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zLpeAcwRshM

A great example of multi camera usage for a talk show in my opinion is the Jonathon Ross show. This clip in particular where actor Stephen Graham discusses many of his antics filming with big time stars like Al Pacino and Leonardo DiCaprio. This clip does include all the shots that you would expect a talk show to have, we see a medium close up Jonathon Ross himself as he addresses Stephen, then a wide shot of both Jonathon and Stephen and then a medium close up of Stephen, this sequence itself is effective in essentially allowing the audience to travel from point A to point B in terms of the conversation. We then have a camera with a wide shot of the other guests as they react to what is being said by Stephen, as this section of the show in question goes on. The way that the camera switches to the specific shots/angles as the story goes on provide some what of a narrative despite the fact that there is not an actual continuity present. The use of quick and effective J cuts and L cuts where one person talks and then we see other peoples reactions which comes in the form of both wide shots and close ups in order to capture more of a reaction. Overall, how the various cameras are presented in regards to not only how they are positioned but also the timing of the switch from camera to camera is very effective in creating a narrative sequence within a program that has no actual continuity to it.

Magazine show

A magazine show is essentially a show that involves a number of reports on particular subjects, interspersed with links by presenters.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_BqCU7YfTeE

A well known example of a magazine show is Top Gear which has plenty of effective uses of multi camera sections both within the studio and on location. The studio sections have the typical chat show style of three cameras with one on the host, one on the guest and one wide shot of both of them, it’s the scenes that take place on location that are where Top Gears use of multi camera is put to good use. The clip in particular I have chosen to use is where the three hosts are challenged to create a police a car of their own design and then test it by having it perform a lap in under a certain amount of time. We begin with various shots of the hosts individual cars from a range of various angles to highlight the various aspects are the car that the hosts will discuss, once the actual driving section of these challenges begins is when multi camera plays a far more effective role. Before we see any of the hosts actually take their customized police vehicles for a spin, they demonstrate the time to beat by having a standard police car drive one lap, there are many cameras positioned to capture the car from the outside which utilize methods such as such as an extreme close up. There is also a camera placed on the inside of the car to show the driver in question which is primarily used to capture there reaction if something goes wrong. The footage of the driver inter cut with shots are the car driving along with the someone recording the reactions of the other hosts makes for a great range of quick J and L cuts which act as the shows main form of comedic moments. This is how top gear uses it’s multiple cameras available in the most effective way possible.

To conclude this post, there is a wide range of genres that utilize multi camera during production, no matter what kind of show is being filmed, you will always find the same techniques used throughout.

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thisdaynews · 4 years

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The House Democrat Taking On Silicon Valley

New Post has been published on https://thebiafrastar.com/the-house-democrat-taking-on-silicon-valley/

The House Democrat Taking On Silicon Valley

Cicilline is an unlikely leader of a bipartisan coalition. He’s a feisty combatant for the left on Fox News and a pugnacious tweeter. That morning, he had written on Twitter that the Republicans at the impeachment hearings were asking questions that were “absolutely bonkers,” adding, “I’m half-expecting to hear them bring up the grassy knoll or jet fuel melting steel beams next.” This month, during the debate over Iran, he wrote that there are “real questions about whether the president knows what he’s doing.” But for his Silicon Valley investigation, he’s drawn unexpected allies to his side, not just Rep. Jim Sensenbrenner, the Wisconsin moderate who is his Republican counterpart on the subcommittee, but top Judiciary Republican Doug Collins and Rep. Matt Gaetz, both fervent Trump allies who have harangued Cicilline and his Democratic colleagues over impeachment.

“I’m very encouraged that we might be able to unite the populist right and the populist left,” Gaetz said in the early days of Cicilline’s investigation. He still counts himself a supporter of the effort.

Perhaps one reason for the strange bedfellows is Cicilline’s willingness to take on his fellow Democrats, as well as Republicans, for abdicating their responsibility—in his view—to rein in the Big Four over the past two decades. The party in Shaw was to celebrate the release of Matt Stoller’s bookGoliath, which grew out of a widely discussedAtlanticarticle about how corporate Democrats “killed their populist soul.” Giving speeches alongside Cicilline at the event were Faiz Shakir, Bernie Sanders’ presidential campaign manager; and Rohit Chopra, a Democratic Federal Trade Commission commissioner who has strongly criticized his own agency for what he sees as its inadequate approach to Silicon Valley. Cicilline called Stoller, a staunch proponent of more stringent antitrust enforcement, “an inspiration,” and thanked him for telling such an “important story.”

But Cicilline has also drawn allies because his investigation is regarded as scrupulous and serious, something Congress does not always have a reputation for these days.

As the investigation has rolled along, Cicilline’s questions have gotten more precise.

Why, exactly, did Facebook decide to cut off Twitter’s Vine video app’s access to its data caches?

What percentage, exactly, of Google searches point users to sites Google owns?

How, exactly, does Amazon decide which vendors get featured its prime real estate “buy boxes”?

Who, exactly, inside Apple can listen to the things we say to Siri?

And so people are watching closely to see where David Cicilline’s high-tech investigation ends up, which he says he expects to happen sometime in the next few months. Will it do anything to reset how Washington copes with Silicon Valley? Or will it turn out like much of the anger being directed at the Big Four by political leaders: a loud, attention-getting exercise that only underscores how little Washington has done to check the enormously profitable and powerful tech industry?

***

Unlike the Federal Trade Commission,Cicilline can’t issue fines. Unlike the Justice Department, he can’t bring criminal charges. He can’t single-handedly pass new laws. He needs the blessing of his committee chairman, New York’s Jerry Nadler, just to issue subpoenas. What he can do, and has done, is to convene high-profile hearings, inscribe evidence extracted from the tech companies into the public record, and turn his office into a safe space for those frightened by the Big Four. But that doesn’t mean that Silicon Valley’s critics haven’t invested a great deal of hope in what David Cicilline does next.

“It’s been decades since Congress has undertaken an investigation into a sector like this. You have to go back and look at the ’40s, ’50s and ’60s,” said Stacy Mitchell, co-director of the Institute for Local Self-Reliance, an advocacy group fighting against economic concentration that has emerged as one of the most prominent critics of the tech industry in Washington. Mitchell testified before Cicilline’s subcommittee in July.

Anyone who recalls the widespread mockery of the questions posed to Mark Zuckerberg when he testified before a couple Senate committees in 2018 knows that this isn’t even a dirty secret in Washington: Nobody, from lawmakers to regulators to reporters, really and truly understands how companies like Facebook, Google, Amazon and Apple, work, day in and day out. So Cicilline says he wants to lift the hood, and then describe in intricate detail to the rest of Washington exactly how the engines of Silicon Valley work.

And that, the thinking goes, could lead to changes in the country’s long-standing antitrust laws or compel competition regulators to act.

Cicilline has held five public hearings so far, but those close tothe probe say that he and his staff are also doing crucial behind-the-scenes work with companies that fear testifying in an open hearing room and whose grievances could serve as key evidence in future legal cases against the Big Four.

One top executive from a tech-sector firm would discuss Cicilline’s inquiry only anonymously, writing in an email: “We are greatly encouraged by the Chairman’s work, and the expertise of his staff. To ensure the investigation has the maximum impact, we hope he will provide strong and specific protection against retaliation for companies that have the courage to come forward.” (The Big Four companies all say they don’t engage in such retribution.)

As Cicilline sees it, Washington has been too deferential to tech for too long. He describes himself as seriously underwhelmed, for example, by the FTC’s July settlement with Facebook over data privacy complaints, including the $5 billion fine he and other critics have called largely inconsequential for a company of Facebook’s enormous resources.

Even so, the investigation needn’t be antagonistic, Cicilline insists. He got on the phone with top tech company executives, including Apple’s Tim Cook, back when he started his investigation, he says, just so their firms’ first experience with the subcommittee wouldn’t be at the other end of a subpoena or document request.

Still, he says, the relationship between Washington and Silicon Valley does need to change.

“These big technology companies have sort of been the golden boy or girl of the American economy,” says Cicilline, sitting at the head of a conference table in his second-floor Rayburn House Office Building office in July. An Apple Watch was strapped to his left wrist.

To Cicilline’s left sat Slade Bond, a long-time Judiciary Committee staffer who serves as the subcommittee’s chief counsel. Absent was Lina Khan, a lawyer who wrote a landmark 2017Yale Law Journalarticle called “Amazon’s Antitrust Paradox” and is perhaps the closest thing to a rock star in the tech-meets-antitrust world. She often sits behind Cicilline at hearings. Her hiring in March was taken as a sign by many in the antitrust world that Cicilline was serious about wielding his new powers.

***

“This smell is not the normal smell of this office,”says Cicilline by way of greeting, at the start of an interview. He’d just sprayed himself for poison ivy. “That’s what happens when you do your own yardwork,” he says. “I don’t recommend it.”

Compactly built, deeply tanned and typically clad in conservative suits paired with a colorful tie, Cicilline has the vibe of the hard-charging lawyer he was before he entered politics. Born in 1961 in Providence, Rhode Island, with a father who was a lawyer who represented East Coast mafioso, Cicilline attended Brown University—where he started up a chapter of College Democrats with John F. Kennedy, Jr., before heading south to D.C. to attend Georgetown University’s law school.

In 2002, he was elected mayor of Providence, the first openlygay mayor of a U.S. state capital. He served until 2010, when, this being New England, his fortunes were shaped by another Kennedy: Patrick, Sen. Ted Kennedy’s youngest, who announced that he was retiring from his Rhode Island seat in the U.S. House of Representatives. Cicilline ran and won a close race.

And in the decade since, Cicilline has climbed the Democratic ladder. He now holds a post in the Democratic House leadership, as chairman of his party’s policy and communications committee.

He has a sharp edge, and on cable news or the hearing room dais, he can come across as impatient with ambiguity, disdainful of those who disagree with him—whether it’s a witness before him or a TV host. “Maria, that’s just not true!” he once shouted at Fox News’ Maria Bartiromo to contest a point on tax policy. To an Amazon attorney in July he thundered, “I remind you sir, you’re under oath.”

But again and again, in interviews with colleagues, friends and former staffers, Cicilline is described as charming, funny, caring, generous, warm, trustworthy, thoughtful, the life of the party. Ciciline has “a delightful personality,” said Rep. Annie Kuster, a New Hampshire Democrat. “Most people [in Congress] are either very serious and, frankly, kind of grumpy, or they swing to the gadfly—always cheerful but never really digging in,” Kuster said. “David has struck a balance that I admire and try to emulate, of being friendly but doing serious work.”

When in Washington, Kuster, Cicilline and several other members of Congress stay in an apartment building in Washington’s Navy Yard neighborhood, where Cicilline held a recent debate-watching party, with about five dozen attendees. He is, Kuster said, “reliable on the potluck.”

Cicilline came into office nearly ten years ago with little real background, or interest, in tech or antitrust, as he now admits. He joined the subcommittee when, he says, Nadler told him to try something new. When he started doing the homework on economic concentration, he started to appreciate the stakes of having a handful of big companies dominating Silicon Valley.

As for any more personal experience with the perceived threat posed by the Big Four, Cicilline points to this: His path to the mayor’s office was smoothed, as a 41-year-old member of the statehouse, by the corruption conviction of Mayor Buddy Cianci, whose misdeeds were documented by theProvidence Journal.

Like other local newspapers, theProvidence Journalhas struggled of late, a decline that Cicilline and others attribute, at least in part, to what the “digital duopoly” of Facebook and Google has done to the journalism business, sucking up advertising dollars that, the thinking goes, should go instead to publications like theProJo.

“This is about access to trustworthy and reliable news and information,” says Cicilline in his office. “If we lose that, I think we put our democracy in real peril.”

***

Baked into Cicilline’s criticismof Washington’s failure to, as he sees it, establish any sort of guardrails during Silicon Valley’s historic rise into an economic, political, and social powerhouse is the fact that while much of it was happening, Democrats were in charge.

It’s a critique heard in some segments of the left of late, where some critics argue that the Obama administration was distracted when it came to tech, whether by Silicon Valley’s fundraising prowess, or a genuine belief in the information revolution as a force for enormous good, or the rise of ISIS, or the Great Recession, or the prospect of future job offers out west. White House press secretary Jay Carney joined Amazon after leaving the White House, senior presidential adviser David Plouffe went to Uber, and other administration officials ended up in places like Facebook, Airbnb and Square.

Elizabeth Warren now leads a small but vocal coalition of Democrats who argue that the time has come, right now, to break up companies like Facebook, an argument that hasn’t been heard much in the tech industry since the 1990s-era antitrust investigation of Microsoft. Other Democrats, though rattled by everything from Cambridge Analytica’s role in the 2016 presidential election to online shopping’s apparent effect on Main Street, aren’t ready to go that far. Some even suggest that naming and shaming companies you don’t like before the end of a congressional or agency investigation sounds very much like something Donald Trump would do.

And Trump, to be sure, has done just that, issuing mostly unsubstantiated claims that the Big Four are endemically biased against conservatives in ways that are manifested in their products. Those thoughts are also voiced by some of the Republican caucus’ most vocal members, like Sens. Josh Hawley of Missouri, Marsha Blackburn of Tennessee and Ted Cruz of Texas. But the libertarian wing of the right recoils at the idea of Washington interfering with the free market, or, shudder, rewriting the country’s antitrust laws to target companies that politicians don’t like. And that thinking influences a broad swath of Republicans who are wary of Silicon Valley for its power and cultural influence but blanch at the idea of Congress jumping to the conclusion that this or that private company is irredeemable.

Cicilline—who argues that the break-up talk is getting ahead of things—has largely managed to maintain this fragile coalition, which agrees that Silicon Valley’s power is worrisome but sharply disagrees on what, if anything, to do about it. So far.

“He’s asking important questions to try to get a sense of what the real issues are,” says Justin Brookman, an Obama-era FTC official who is now the director of consumer privacy and technology policy atConsumer Reports. “It’s not as simple as, ‘Let’s break them up all.’ It’s a bit more involved than that.”

Near the start of December, reports started circulating that Warren was drafting legislation to ban so-called mega mergers involving multibillion-dollar companies—and that she was working on it with Cicilline. The news called into question Cicilline’s insistence that he would propose antitrust reform laws, if any, only after he completed his investigation.

Asked about the reported collaboration, Cicilline said he and Warren haven’t had direct talks on any such bill, but left open the possibility that his staff and hers might have had informal discussions.

The rumors of Cicilline’s would-be alliance with Warren didn’t publicly cost him any members of his ad hoc coalition, but the odds are good that the weeks or months until he wraps his investigation will involve not just hearings and document requests but a careful navigation of the political minefield before him.

If Cicilline manages to hold together the coalition he’s assembled while also reaching some politically palatable but powerful conclusions—that, for example, regulators have been left no choice but to crack down on personal-data-based business models, or that Congress has been compelled by events to overhaul the country’s antitrust laws—Cicilline has the chance to leave a lasting mark on Washington.

That’s exactly what his critics are afraid of.

***

“You can’t just ignore factsthat don’t prove your presupposed conclusions. That’s not how ‘investigations’ work,” says Carl Szabo. “Especially from theJudiciaryCommittee? We should be better than that.”

On a warm Friday in October, sun streamed in the window of Szabo’s K Street offices, decorated with thick books on telecommunications law, a LEGO R2-D2 and framed mock patent applications of heavy machinery from the “Star Wars” universe. Szabo is the outspoken vice president and top lawyer for Silicon Valley’s most aggressivelobbying presence in Washington: a group called NetChoice, which counts Facebook and Google among its members.

Szabo’s job is to say what the tech companies don’t want to be seen saying themselves, which, in this case, is that Cicilline is unfairly targeting them. That he isn’t after going after bad corporate behavior but simply taking scalps from some of the highest profile companies in the world. That, despite his declarations that he is keeping an open mind, the result of his investigation is a foregone conclusion. Cicilline, the argument goes, is convinced there’s no competition left in the tech industry. Says Szabo,ever heard of TikTok?

Cicilline’s investigation won’t add up to much of anything, Szabo insists, because there’s notherethere. The worry, though, is that he adds his powerful voice to the “cacophony of people complaining about technology”—many of whom, Szabo argues, are motivated, somewhat perversely, by the desire to get their name in headlines smack up against mentions of Facebook, Google and the rest. “I think the whole reason we’re even talking about these groups is because of SEO,” or search engine optimization, Szabo said.

And Cicilline has sometimes given ammunition to those who believe that he’s in it for the headlines and that he’s being vindictive when he’s not enjoying it all a bit too much.

During his investigation’s second hearing, in July, he got into a back-and-forth with a witness from Amazon, associate general counsel Nate Sutton, over how the company uses the shopping data it collects to decide its own product offerings. “You do collect enormous data about what products are popular, what’s selling, where they’re selling,” Cicilline said. “You’re saying you don’t use that in any way to promote Amazon products?”

Sutton attempted to testify that offering house brands is a common practice among retailers, and, what’s more, that Amazon uses data only in the aggregate to inform its retail decisions, not insights gleaned from individual sellers. This is when Cicilline demanded a clarification and declared, “I remind you sir, you’re under oath.”

Days later, Cicilline sent a letter to Sutton’s boss at Amazon saying he was “troubled” by the lawyer’s testimony. Nor did Sutton’s fellow witnesses, from the rest of the Big Four, get off easy. Cicilline’s chiding note to Facebook said that company’s witness “claimed he was unfamiliar with basic facts” about the business.

Cicilline returned to the topicin mid-September, when he fired off letters to the companies asking scores of questions about their operations. The letter to Amazon had 158 separate requests for information, including on its contested use of seller data.

While waiting for answers, Cicilline tweeted out a news story detailing Amazon’s tweaking of its search algorithm to benefit its own offerings, adding, “Lying to Congress is a serious crime with serious consequences”—an unusually combative move during an open investigation.

Cicilline can be said to have won the round—eventually. When Amazon responded to Cicilline’s information request, its technical answers were interpreted by some to award the points to the congressman. Read a CNBC story on the matter, “Amazon admits to Congress that it uses ‘aggregated’ data from third-party sellers to come up with its own products.”

***

Ciciline has said his investigationis on track to wrap early this year. One possible outcome:The report it produces ends up so hard-hitting that it alienates centrists—including the Republicans rounding out his bipartisan coalition. With Washington so utterly divided, that would make his subcommittee’s work easy to dismiss as yet one more exercise in partisan point-scoring. The news cycle would move on nearly instantaneously, and with it the rest of Congress.

Another possible, even likely, outcome: that his investigation keeps its bipartisanship while avoiding a call for sweeping reforms, and thusalsogets ignored in a political landscape that doesn’t register anything other than full-volume declarations of misdoings. The news cycle would move on nearly instantaneously, and with it the rest of Congress.

Or, Cicilline’s subcommittee could write the most exquisite report, laying out a path forward for the future of technology in the United States that strikes a perfect balance of preserving the public good while fostering innovation—and it gets ignored by a Senate that has shown little interest in rethinking antitrust rules and which is at the moment utterly consumed by the fight over whether Donald Trump should be removed from office.

All that makes Cicilline’s chances for fundamentally revamping the country’s antitrust laws or resetting regulators’ approach to Silicon Valley slim. But as Cicilline sees it, it’s too important a battle to stop waging.

For years, says Cicilline, people in Washington like him let Silicon Valley run wild. “I think they’ve been more familiar with letting them go, letting them flourish—just sitting back and watching,” he says. “I think we’ve reached a point now where we have a responsibility to do more than that.”

#Foreign #Politics #Silicon #Valley

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Pierre Delecto: All the Best Jokes and Memes About Mitt Romney’s Newly Discovered Burner Account – PopCulture.com

An off-handed comment by Senator Mitt Romney this weekend turned into the meme of the moment over night. The Utah Republican told an interviewer from the Atlantic that he has a secret Twitter account so that he can use the site anonymously. In a matter of hours, social media sleuths had found it — an account under the name Pierre Delecto.

Romney gave his interviewer a few snippets of information about his secret account — how many accounts he was following, what kinds of public figures they were, and the fact that President Donald Trump was not one of them. Running with that, Ashley Feinberg of Slate was able to determine that Monsieur Pierre Delecto was, most likely, Romney.

When The Atlantic’s McKay Coppins called Romney to ask about the account, he reportedly answered: “c’est moi.”

Just spoke to @MittRomney on the phone, and asked him about Pierre Delecto. His only response: “C’est moi.” Updated my story accordingly: https://t.co/kcfIopokWh

— McKay Coppins (@mckaycoppins) October 21, 2019

In about 24 hours, the internet has already had a field day with Pierre Delecto. The existence of the account would have been enough joke fodder for days on its own, but adding in the unique name, this may be in the running for strange online phenomenon of the year.

Meanwhile, Romney has set his beloved account to Protected, meaning that no one else can read his tweets or see his other online activity. The account has been active since 2011, meaning Romney was using it while running for president against Barack Obama.

In his interview, Romney brought up his fake account in a conversation about President Trump’s unconventional social media activity. He was discussing a recent occasion when the president went after him on Twitter, encouraging voters to “impeach” Romney from office. With the ownership of the Pierre Delecto account, however, Romney may have proven that he is about as odd online as his political nemesis.

Here is a look at some of Twitter’s best takes on Pierre Delecto.

Slide 1 of 8Carlos Danger

If trying to keep-up with role-playing and fictional names in politics:

Anthony Weiner: “Carlos Danger”

Peter Navarro: “Ron Vara”

Mitt Romney: “Pierre Delecto”

Donald Trump: “John Barron”, “John Miller”, “David Dennison”, “Individual One”, “POTUS”, “Commander in Chief”….

— Ana Navarro-Cárdenas (@ananavarro) October 21, 2019

More than a few users compared Pierre Delecto to another infamous political psuedonym: Carlos Danger. The name was used by former New York congressman Anthony Weiner when dating online, as his constituents learned later on.

Pierre Delecto, John Barron and Carlos Danger walk into a bar…

— Jake Tapper (@jaketapper) October 21, 2019

Some users also compared Delecto to Ron Vara, a name used by economist and Trump administration advisor Peter Navarro. Whatever the case, it is clear that Delecto joins a growing stable of political alter egos.

Slide 2 of 8President Trump’s Psuedonyms

Pierre Delecto is in discussions with John Barron and David Dennison to get this sorted out, Dumbshit Jr. https://t.co/i6Xxr09wP9

— BrooklynDad_Defiant Savage! (@mmpadellan) October 21, 2019

Of course, it was not lost on people that President Trump has used more pseudonyms than perhaps any other modern politician. The president has reportedly gone by the names John Barron, John Miller and David Dennison in some phone conversations. Twitter users wondered whether Barron and Delecto might get along better than Trump and Romney do.

Slide 3 of 8Incantation

Pierre Delecto is the spell they teach you at Hogwarts that makes a person’s spine disappear.

— The Volatile Mermaid (@OhNoSheTwitnt) October 21, 2019

To some, there was an almost mystical sound to the name Pierre Delecto, as if it were a magical incantation or a spell. If that’s the case, no one online has been able to master it yet.

Slide 4 of 8Steely Dan

Pierre Delecto is obviously a character from the Steely Dan expanded universe. He’s only in the role playing game and one of the cartoons

— PAPPADEMAS (@PAPPADEMAS) October 21, 2019

A few users joked that they had heard the name Pierre Delecto in the media somewhere before. They pondered which fictional franchise he would fit best into, and many settled on country music.

Slide 5 of 8GIF Contest

pic.twitter.com/rN6JUgmY7c

— Ginny Gin Gin (@gint518) October 21, 2019

When asked to describe the name “Pierre Delecto” in a GIF, Twitter users did not disappoint. From Pepe le Pew to Lumiere, every French character was up for grabs, and a few other choice GIFs showed up as well.

Slide 6 of 8Origin Story

you still end up with “I delight in stone” (roughly)

— Doctora Malka Older (@m_older) October 21, 2019

More than a few Twitter users seriously wondered why Romney chose such an outlandish name for his account. Some offered their best explanations, too, including attorney Max Kennerly. Kennerly noted that Romney went on his mission for the Mormon Church in France, and speaks the language fluently. He suggested that the name was a subtle, trans-lingual pun, although others debated the accuracy of this origin story.

Slide 7 of 8His Following List

So Pierre Delecto was following me. Hmmm. Discuss amongst yourselves.

— Matt Schlapp (@mschlapp) October 21, 2019

More than anyone, the existence of Pierre Delecto was a surprise to the accounts that he was actually following. A few of those users rushed to Twitter, shocked that Romney was secretly watching their posts, including American Conservative Union Chairman Matt Schlapp. Romney himself told Coppins that he did not follow President Trump with his secret account.

“He tweets so much,” the senator remarked.

He did, however, follow public figures, including some he liked and some he simply wanted to keep up with. Among them were athletes, politicians and entertainers. Romney apparently struggled to remember the name of one of the late-night hosts he follows.

“What’s his name, the big redhead from Boston?” he said, referring presumably to Conan O’Brien.

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Slide 8 of 8Halloween Costume Ideas

An inexpensive costume idea just in time for Halloween: the #PierreDelecto pic.twitter.com/5XS51tJnaD

— Gregory T. Angelo (@gregorytangelo) October 21, 2019

Finally, it seemed serendipitous to some that the Pierre Delecto news came so close to Halloween, providing a cheap, easy idea for a Halloween costume. These ranged from simple beret-and-mustache combos to elaborate alterations to Mitt Romney masks. Check back at PopCulture.com at the end of the month to see how those costumes shape up.

—–

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from Funface https://funface.net/best-jokes/pierre-delecto-all-the-best-jokes-and-memes-about-mitt-romneys-newly-discovered-burner-account-popculture-com/

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