gerard way never stood a chance hoeboy was born and raised in suburban north jersey which is objectively the worst part of the whole state and then he witnessed 9/11 before his brain was finished fully developing like no shit the guy kins joan of arc a second plane has hit the repressed catholic
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no thoughts, just "where is duty, where is sacrifice" and the way that alicent clings to abstract constructs like religion, honor, duty and sacrifice because her material life is so concretely terrible and empty. to have loved someone so dearly, and watch them be what you perceive as free while your entire personhood is reduced to a womb and made to serve the realm, a vessel for the rotting king to use and abuse. to not exist as a person for yourself but in only in service to others as you are ordered by your father under a patriarchal structure..........and then the contrast of that quote, which summarizes all of alicent's anguish and agony, to the classic, "what is honor compared to a woman's love? what is duty against the feel of a newborn son in your arms...we are only human, and the gods have fashioned us for love.".................but alicent doesn't have love, not anymore. duty, honor, these concepts - they're all she's got, and the lack of the very elements that make them meaningful has corroded her inside and out. so: honor, duty, sacrifice, all without love. and here we are.
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I had a dream that I was watching The Terror again and it was… a bit different.
There was a plot where Francis Crozier was pregnant. Not by Fitzjames, no; they weren’t close like that. I think by someone who was 1) a casual hookup and 2) dead. He was confiding in Fitzjames about it, though, and complaining of breast soreness. Fitzjames asked him if he was sure he was pregnant and he said yes, that he recognized the symptoms from when he was younger, and then told a story about how his mother had helped him get an abortion when he was a teenager so he could pursue his then-incipient naval career.
Unfortunately, in the dream, I was watching this version of The Terror with my father and brother and they were confused. “But he’s a man! How is such a thing possible?”
“Transgender,” I explained impatiently, because it was obvious this was the direction the show had gone with the character, even though the actor playing him was still cisgender actor Jared Harris.
“But still, no way this would happen,” I added. “I mean, look at him. He’s GOT to be post-menopausal.”
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ok but like, Modest!Alicent Hightower au (more modest than she already is) cause I feel like it, it adds ✨layers✨
Alicent who veils her hair during her day to day life, elegant laces and silks adorning her long ginger-brown hair, covering it completely at the Sept.
Alicent who wears dresses with long heavy skirts and always covers her elbows with billowing sleeves.
Alicent who conceals her silhouette with thick shaping garments. they also just helped her back during her pregnancies and taking care of kids (her servants recommended them so she'd have full range of motion and support)
Alicent who was stripped of her modesty, her dignity and sense of security whenever Viserys wanted her. stripped of it by her own father when he sent her to Viserys's chambers in a dress that didn't cover as much as she would have liked, especially when she visited a man with those (silent) instructions.
Alicent who lets her hair down around people she trusts. covering it around Rhaenyra after she abandoned her, a blow to Rhaenyra, a blatant "you hurt me and broke my trust". letting Criston see her hair after he becomes her sworn sword. covering in front of Viserys until he demands she stops. Alicent putting a little makeshift veil on her daughter, who wanted to look like her mum, promising it would protect her from how loud the world was.
Alicent who only trusts her closest servants to dress her, and even then insists on being in a full shift before they can come in.
Alicent who felt stripped bare while giving birth to her children.
little Alicent looking up to her mum who was also very modest, and spending her childhood playing in long skirts.
Alicent who wears shawls and scarves out in public or at events. Criston watches to make sure she remains properly covered. her hands fiddling with the patterns or tassels while she talks to others.
Alicent doing this with her kids:
Criston offering her his cloak when she's put in bad situations like sudden crowds or outings.
wearing flowy but opaque fabrics during the summers, looking ethereal and goddess-like with her layers skirts and sleeves.
the whole Larys situation being even more sickening.
all 3 of her sons being protective of her modesty alongside Criston, always offering their cloaks to her or standing to block her from the wind or wandering eyes. Aegon holding her veil in place when it's windy, Aemond placing a cloak over her in public, Daeron fiercely defending his mum from lusting glances or lingering stares.
Helaena continuing to veil with her mum when they go out, they love matching veils and trying ornate styles.
Alicent fixing her daughters veil in attempts to get it to stay in on dragon back. it doesn't. but they don't mind the extra bonding time none the less.
gold veils that literally make her look like she's dripping in gold.
tucking her babes in her shawls or holding them against her skirts that are practically swallowing them whole.
Alicent collecting layers. Ornate undergarments that cover her arms in gold and embroidered patterns, some almost like tapestries others more simple. undershirts that cover her neck, with "choker" patterns and sewn in jewels. modest nightgowns and robes made of the softest, most breathable fabrics in existence.
covering her face on holy days/days of importance.
I just have so many thoughts.
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'Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. Grievously sinned.'
Louis de Pointe du Lac's church confession, illustrated as a stained glass window, submitted for @nocontextlestat 's Jacob Anderson fan book.
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my unpopular Catholic opinion is that while praying the rosary is of course wonderful, it is at the end of the day a personal devotion and may not be a great fit for everyone. it's kinda treated as the devout person's staple prayer, with the unflattering assumption that anyone who doesn't pray it often is less pious than those who do.
the rosary is not a requirement for sanctification and there are many, many other personal devotions through which someone can pursue a prayerful relationship with God. we all gravitate toward different styles of prayer, and that's okay.
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