#in jack unlike dean who was also a child taking care of a slightly younger child but having to act like an adult | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

drkfought · 3 years

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─ the mirrors surrounding you did as they were meant to , reflecting back a spitting image of jensen ackles - but it’s clear something is wrong from the moment that a vision of 𝘫𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘥𝘦𝘧𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘨𝘰𝘥 strikes you . perhaps it was a passing daydream in the frenzy of the funhouse . you reassure yourself - you’re 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐍 𝐖𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑 , a 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘺 𝘰𝘯𝘦 year old 𝗙𝗜𝗥𝗘 𝗖𝗛𝗜𝗘𝗙 whose virtue lies in your + loyalty & + selflessness , although you’ve been told that you tend to be quite - short tempered & - self loathing , and you’re associated with 𝒇𝒓𝒆𝒄𝒌𝒍𝒆𝒔 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒏𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒃𝒚 𝒔𝒄𝒂𝒓𝒔 𝒂𝒄𝒓𝒐𝒔𝒔 𝒔𝒌𝒊𝒏, 𝒄𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒈𝒍𝒂𝒔𝒔 𝒃𝒆𝒏𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒉 𝒃𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒅𝒚 𝒌𝒏𝒖𝒄𝒌𝒍𝒆𝒔, 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒓𝒐𝒂𝒓 𝒕𝒐 𝒓𝒖𝒎𝒃𝒍𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒑𝒖𝒓𝒓 𝒐𝒇 𝒂𝒏 𝒆𝒏𝒈𝒊𝒏𝒆, 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒊𝒏𝒆𝒅 𝒃𝒍𝒖𝒆 𝒋𝒆𝒂𝒏𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒇𝒍𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒆𝒍 𝒕𝒐𝒔𝒔𝒆𝒅 𝒂𝒄𝒓𝒐𝒔𝒔 𝒂 𝒃𝒆𝒅 , by those around you . suddenly, however, you’ve found 𝐉𝐎𝐇𝐍'𝐒 𝐉𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐍𝐀𝐋 on your person - was that always there ? from the moment you leave the funhouse , memories from your life in 𝙨𝙪𝙥𝙚𝙧𝙣𝙖𝙩𝙪𝙧𝙖𝙡 have begun to return - leaving whoever you had been before in the mirror’s reflection behind you . you can almost hear 𝚁𝙰𝙼𝙱𝙻𝙴 𝙾𝙽 by 𝙻𝙴𝙳 𝚉𝙴𝙿𝙿𝙻𝙴𝙸𝙽 following in your wake .

hi i love dean winchester so stinkin’ much ... i am .... so excited . he deserves a life where he wasn’t hunting monsters all the time ! one where he got a job & had kids & is just living life ! let dean have a life !

full name : dean henry winchester . alises : the righteous man . the sword of michael . squirrel . age : forty one . gender & pronouns : cis male , he / him . sexual & romantic orientation : bisexual / biromantic . species : human . identifying marks : multiple scars across his body . some looking like they came from knives , others from guns . his memory on how he got most of them is fuzzy

─ 𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍 𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐄 .

i will try to make this short . dean was born to mary & john winchester & for four years he had the most simple apple pie life a four year old could ask for . in 1983 , a demon went into the winchester house to visit their newborn son : dean’s younger brother sam . when mary interrupted the demon’s visitation , he killed her . slashed open her stomach & burned her on the ceiling . dean’s father , john , witnessed the terrible end of his wife’s life & though he made it out alive with both sam & dean , the event would irreversibly change him .

john became obsessed with discovering what it was that killed mary . he learned to hunt the supernatural & ruthlessly trained his sons to do the same . dean’s toddler life of toys turned into tinkering with guns , his warm bed into dirty motels , & his carefree existence into only worrying over his younger brother . he became the perfect killer but it took a toll on him . his father , far from perfect even before this , became harsh on dean . molding him until he was more dutiful soldier than he was boy . dean did everything his father asked & followed his every order with blind faith & even then he would never be the perfect son to john . sam , on the other hand , rebelled against the life john gave them . though dean tried constantly to settle their explosive arguments as best he could no matter his thoughts on the matter at hand , desperate for peace between the two , he still couldn’t stop sam from running away in the end . he wanted to hate sam for it at first , but he never could .

years later when john went missing on a hunt , dean reached out to his estranged brother for help . the job was supposed to be a simple one but after coming back unsuccessful to the tragic death of sam’s girlfriend ( same as their mothers , in fact ) sam entered back into his life for good .

though the plots of both heaven & hell , sam & dean became pawns in the story of the world’s end . the apocalypse slowly set into motion & started with the winchesters at the center of it all . even though they managed stop the world’s end , though , it was hardly the last threat to humanity . as years passed , the brothers found themselves thrust into apocalypse after apocalypse . an endless cycle that they , eventually , discovered was god’s doing all along . they were simply the main characters of a never ending tragic story that god was writing . furious , the two brothers , with help from their rebel angel best friend & the half angel son on lucifer himself , devised a way to defeat god for good . in the end they succeeded . jack , the mentioned son of lucifer , took god’s place after his defeat . the world is their’s in the end . they , for the first time , get to choose their own paths .

─ 𝐀𝐋𝐔𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐃 𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐄 .

there was still a fire at the winchester house when dean was four years old . an accident this time . an electrical fire . a normal tragedy . their mom was still lost but dean , holding onto the bundle that was his little brother , watched as the fire fighters pulled his dad from the flames . sitting with them , brother in his arms , while they consoled him & let him wear their helmets would always be a far more comforting memory to dean than the ones his father gave him in the years to come . john winchester became distant . negligent . borderline abusive . dean did his best to take the bulk of what their grief drowned father put on them , trying to shield sam , & gave a lot of his life to helping raise sam where john fell short . they moved around a lot , finally settling in alucard when dean was around seventeen .

when he was a late teen if he wasn’t at home or sneaking out for a smoke & some girls , dean worked at being a volunteer firefighter . it was something , he thought , slightly productive to do with his life as it was already obvious to him that he wouldn’t be able to go to college with sam still needing him around . at age eighteen , with his high school diploma stating he graduated with average grades , dean officially joined the fire force at an entry level & began saving up money for his own place . a place away from his father but close enough that sam could use it to get away at any time as well . though , as the year went on , he found that john would have been unlikely to allow dean to live under his roof anyway .

dean was notorious with women & thought himself as careful but clearly not as careful as he thought . when he found out he was going to be a dad at eighteen he initially rejected the idea , wanting nothing to do with the child out of fear of turning into his father . sam was the one who talked him down from the anxiety . with his encouragement , dean slowly worked to learn how to be a parent . preparing a room . reading parenting books . anything . it came as a shock a month before the due date to when he found out the mother was backing out of keeping the child . she had been the one initially for raising it at first but suddenly felt she couldn’t do it . though he’d be on his own , dean had steeled himself to becoming a father too much to let the girl to go up for adoption . beverly winchester was born feburary 13th & dean took full custody as her sole guardian . he kept in touch with bevery’s mother still , who went on to study psychology outside alucard .

being a single father was far from easy but dean managed , always taking help where he could from his brother or from friends . one friend even got closer than others . when beverly was nearing three years old , dean started seeing a foreign exchange student from england who was taking classes at the local university & the casual feeling of the affair wasn’t there for long . things blossomed into something serious & when it was discovered she was pregnant , this time dean was far more sure about things than when he was twenty . the wedding was small & around nine months later dean became a father of two as simon joined the winchester family .

for a few years this seemed the perfect arrangement . dean worked up through the ranks at the station , setting himself up to be the new fire chief one day , & raised his kids happily with his wife . but perfect sometimes doesn’t last long . their relationship , after all , had been a rushed one . after around six years , things simply didn’t have the same spark as they used to . the divorce wasn’t nasty , they knew it was a mutual thing , but it still stung . he left the court as a single father again , now with joint custody of his son . he didn’t seen simon much after the divorce . shortly after , he & his mother moved back to england which dean was always bitter about . though simon came to visit sometimes & dean called whenever he could , he always felt like he was far from the boy .

at fourty one , years later , he’s gotten well back on his feet . no serious relationships seem to stick but at work he’s finally gotten fire chief . he misses being in the middle of the action sometimes , but he loves his job nonetheless . if not at work he’s visiting his brother , the bar , fixing his car , or dedicating time to beverly & simon who has recently moved to alucard to be around dean , much to his delight . as his life is coming back to him , though , it is stressing him out . the world was already dangerous without remembering monsters . he feels as though this is just another story he’s now lived out & isn’t even sure whats real .

─ 𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐈𝐍𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 .

father to BEVERLY MARSH & SIMON SNOW in alucard . he will absolutely go off on you if you are mean to his kids . yes , this includes other kids who bully his kids . he doesn’t care he’ll yell at you for being an asshole no matter your age . absolutely no one messes with his kids .

has had beverly around since she was born but has seen simon infrequently since he was about six since simon’s mother took him back to england with her . he doesn’t love simon any less , but he ‘s struggling with fact they don’t know each other as well as dean would like . he hates that his son grew up so far away from him with visits & phone calls too few & far in between .

is also now having to cope with the fact that , in this new life he remembers , he doesn’t even HAVE his kids . closest thing he has to a child there is jack & he doesn’t even know if jack is okay .

still has the impala here . can’t have dean without his car .

while he is the fire chief , fixing cars is a huge hobby of his . if he didn’t love his job , he would absolutely leave it to work as a mechanic at the local garage .

while he mostly works on his car himself , he still brings his car to the garage a few times a year for things that his own garage doesn’t have the tools for . they know him there from his recognizable car .

his father has been alive for sometime but he’s recently found out he died from a stroke in his sleep . dean is stuck between the duty of giving his father a proper funeral & his own bitterness at the man for how he treated him & sam . this is only worsened by the memories of john that will come back .

he is bisexual ! because i’ve watched this show & have eyes ! i know ! is he repressed a lot & hasn’t exactly had an offical coming out ? also yes ! doesn’t mean he HASN’T made out & gotten with a guy or two in the past . just means he never felt like he could say anything about it all growing up & now just figures it’s too late .

uuuuuuuuuuuuh anyway . i’ll add to this more if i think of more .

#dean: intro #duality.intro #THIS IS LONG im not sorry #neglect tw #abuse tw

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hunterswearingplaid · 5 years

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Babysitter on Duty (Dean x Reader)

Summary: The reader asks an old friend for some help.

Pairing: Dean x Single Parent!Reader

Word Count: 2.9K (Wow, this one’s a doozie!)

Warnings: language

Square filled: Single Parent AU for @spnfluffbingo2019

Author’s Note: I am aware that Sweet Home Alabama has only one barre chord, but for the purpose of making Dean look like a guitar extraordinaire, let’s pretend there are multiple.

Author’s Note 2: Ahahahaha look at the title it’s so fucking shitty forgive me

*Unedited, all mistakes are mine.*

You were sure it was him. Yup. Plaid, bowlegs, brown hair. It was him.

You still didn’t want to go up and ask him, or even talk to him, because you were sure you’d start crushing on him again.

You and Dean Winchester had worked on a chemistry project in high school together. It wasn’t the best, but it was whom you’d worked with that had made it worth the while. Dean was extremely sweet. So helpful. He didn’t know jack squat about chemistry, but he listened to you and tried to understand so you wouldn’t have to do all the work yourself.

One evening after working on the project till really late in the evening, he busted out his guitar and played some songs for you. His mother asked you to stay back for dinner, and so you did. He had an adorable younger brother who seemed too smart for his age. His mother was also very sweet, offering to drop you back home in the car.

Dean took it a step forward and walked you home. It was really lovely.

But that was where it ended. It was your senior year of school, and once the project finished, both of you got very busy with your own priorities. Sure, Dean would sometimes catch your eye in the hallways and smile, but that was it.

But you still crushed on him. You crushed on him hard.

So if you walked up to him now, and if he was still the sweet bastard that he was ten years ago, you were gonna be right where you began. Ugh.

Besides, you had to be at Mia’s school to pick her up in fifteen minutes, you couldn’t possibly wait and engage in small talk. So you picked up your coffee when they called your name and headed right out the door.

You drove to Mia’s school all the while thinking about your high school friends, namely Dean Winchester. Mia told you about her day as soon as she sat into the car.

Once she was done, you asked if she’d like to have a cupcake today.

“Yeah!” Mia said happily. “How come?”

“Well, everyone needs a cupcake from time to time,” you said, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

You drove back to the coffeehouse where you’d gotten your coffee from, secretly hoping you’d find Dean again, regardless of whether you were going to talk to him or not.

Yup. There he was. Still sitting in the same spot, his eyes glued to his laptop screen, one hand on the trackpad, other idly holding his coffee mug. You wanted to watch him for a few more seconds, but Mia was already tugging on your hand, dragging you to the display.

She pressed both of her hands on the glass, her eyes scanning all bakery products. She turned to you, “Can I get a cookie instead? No, a donut?”

You smiled at her endearingly, “Whatever you want, sweetie. But only one. Too much of anything is not good.”

“You taught me the word for that! Modelation?”

“Moderation,” You said, running a hand over her head, letting her take her time with her choice.

You turned around, wanting to look at Dean again. You weren’t going to talk to him, but looking wouldn’t hurt, right?

Except, when you turned around, you didn’t see him in his spot. Instead, you found him walking towards you. You started to panic, not sure what to say when he does say something. He was smiling, his arms held out slightly. “Hey, Y/N?” He called out.

You smiled, your mouth open, “Hi!” You said, waving stupidly. “Dean!”

“Wow, you look gorgeous!” He said happily, pulling you in for a hug. Once he pulled away, he ran a hand over the back of his neck, looking at you like he was awaiting a response.

“Aw, no,” you said shyly.

“Come on, look at yourself! How have you been?” He asked.

“Great, how —”

“Mama,” your daughter called out, moving her eyes between you and Dean.

You looked at Dean, raising your eyebrows. He nodded, ushering you to take care of her first.

“I’ve chosen what I want.”

“Come on, we’ll go get it.” You told her, turning back to Dean, “Give me a minute?”

“Sure, I’m sitting right here,” He pointed to where he was sitting earlier.

You scoffed in your head, like I need telling, you thought. You and Mia went over to the cashier, paying for the donut she had ended up picking. You asked Mia if she would be okay sitting with you while you talked to your old friend, to which she said she didn’t mind, as long as she got to enjoy her donut.

You made your way over to Dean’s table, holding Mia’s hand. “Dean?” You called out.

“There you are,” Dean gave you a toothy smile, motioning to the bench opposite him. “Please, have a seat. You too, darling!” He said, looking at your daughter.

He was so goddamn sweet, ugh.

“Her name’s Mia.” You said.

“Hi, Mia. I’m your mama’s old friend. My name is Dean.” Dean said.

“Hi, Dean,” Mia said, smiling too. Unlike you, she had absolutely no problems talking to strangers, and you weren’t sure if that was a good thing or not, considering she was only five.

Dean turned your attention to you after booping Mia on her nose, getting a giggle out of her. “How have you been, Y/N?” He said, his voice softer than before.

“I’ve been great. Well, kinda. Taking care of a five-year-old is no easy job.” You joked.

“Well, she’s gorgeous, just like her mother.” Dean nodded, making you blush. “I babysit for my brother sometimes. You remember Sam?”

“Yeah, how is he?” You asked, clearing your throat, trying to shake the nervousness.

“Hotshot lawyer.” Dean always had a different look on his face while talking about his brother. It was always a look of love. Of respect.

“Wow, that’s really amazing! What about you, Dean?”

“Just moved into town,” Dean explained, “Had an auto shop in Lawrence. I just needed a fresh change. So I decided to move. Still going to keep the shop.”

“Does your father still drive the Impala?”

“It’s mine now!”

Without realizing it, you and Dean had talked for a good hour. You were supposed to get back to work — which you did from home — at four, and it was closing in. It was Mia who had reminded you.

“Shoot, I should get back home.” You said hurriedly.

Dean shot a glance at his watch before looking back at you, a frantic look on his face. “Well, it was really awesome catching up,” he stood up as you did, “Would you like to catch a little more?” He asked, rubbing his hand on the back of his neck, “Not like — like, I don’t wanna — if you don’t have the time, we don’t — you know what? I just —”

“Dean,” you said, smiling as he fumbled with his words, “I’d love to catch up a little more. This was really lovely. How about lunch? Saturday?” You asked, acknowledging as Dean nodded. “You like burgers?”

Dean only smirked.

Whoa. Turns out, Dean really likes burgers. When you took him to the famous food truck in your city, he spent about fifteen minutes simply picking a burger. You watched as he devoured it, finding it adorable that he enjoyed his food so passionately.

Dean did get embarrassed a few times, though, suddenly remembering you were there, trying to regain composure and wiping at the corners of his mouth. You told him every time that it was okay with you.

After you were both done, you sat down at an outdoor table, bottles of beer in both your hands.

You enjoyed the quiet of the area for a few minutes before Dean spoke up, “You don’t have to stick around if you need to be back home. Your husband must —”

“I don’t have a husband. I raise Mia alone,” you said, tapping your fingers on the beer bottle.

“Oh,” Dean said slowly, a little surprised at your indifference. “Boyfriend?” He added nervously.

You chuckled lightly, shaking your head, “I wish,” you sighed.

“You wish?” Dean repeated back to you, a small smile on his lips.

“Yeah, it would be so much easier to take care of a child, then!”

Dean nodded for a few seconds before the expression on his face changed completely. “Wait, who’s with Mia right now, then?” He sat up a little straighter as if to show he was worried.

“Relax, Dean. I’ve got a babysitter.” You said, touching his hand briefly before wrapping it back around your beer bottle. “He’s expensive, but he’s good. He’s good with kids.”

Dean nodded again, taking in whatever you were saying, “I’m good with kids,” he said, his voice dropping a little.

You looked up at him through your eyelashes, “You are?”

Dean cleared his throat, “Yeah, I used to take care of Sam’s son all the time.” He looked around nervously for a few moments, before adding, “If you need me to, I can totally look after Mia when you need it. I also don’t charge,” he added the last part jokingly.

You laughed along, “Nice of you to offer,” you let him know.

“I’m serious.” Dean reaffirmed. “Anytime, give me a call.”

‘Anytime’ had come a little sooner than you had expected it.

An emergency had come into work, on a Sunday, and even your babysitter had said that he was going to charge you a lot more because you were calling him in on a Sunday.

So, hesitantly, to say the least, you called up Dean, seriously hoping he wasn’t joking.

Dean was more than willing. He showed up at your house half an hour after you texted him the directions, giving you enough time to make yourself presentable. He knocked on the door as you were putting your hair up in a ponytail. Holding the hair tie between your teeth and your hair in one hand, you pulled open the door, seeing Dean smiling at you from the other side.

You pulled your hair through the hair tie quickly, making way for Dean to come into the house. “Thank you so much, Dean,” you said, grabbing him by his sides out of gratitude.

“Oh, it’s no big deal,” Dean smiled, taking off his shoes. “I was gonna watch…” he began, stopping after realizing you were walking into the kitchen without listening. He followed you in.

“So sorry, I’m supposed to be at work in fifteen minutes, but I live twenty-five minutes away,” you shook your head, pouring yourself a glass of water. “What were you saying?” You asked, bringing the glass to your lips.

“I was gonna watch the game at my place, I can just do that here,” Dean rapped his fingers on the kitchen counter. “I can, can’t I?”

“Oh, totally. Movies, books, anything. But try to look after Mia a little bit.”

“Of course, that’s why I’m here, Y/N. Don’t worry at all. I really am—” He didn’t get to finish his statement yet again, because you were walking towards the living room, going over to pick up your bag and bid Mia goodbye.

“Be back soon, Mama,” Mia called, putting her little arm around your neck as you kissed her on her head.

“I will, sweetie, I think I’ll only be gone for a few hours,” You assured her. “Dean will be here to spend time with you.” You turned your attention to the man in question, “We have a guitar, Dean, feel free to use it.” You smiled.

“Oh, yes!” Mia said happily, “Guitar, please!” She asked Dean.

Dean nodded happily, “Anything you want.”

Mia seemed happy with that. Smiling one last time, saying goodbye to the pair, you made your way out the door, getting into your car and switching into work mode.

You were at work for a few hours, and by the time you were done with everything that needed to get done, it was closing in on lunchtime. You had not anticipated being here that long. When you made it back to your desk, you saw seven missed calls on your phone. All of them from Dean.

You called him back, packing up all of your stuff as you did.

“Y/N,” Dean said before you could say anything.

“Dean, sorry for not picking up. Anything you had a problem with?”

“Yeah, Mia had started to get hungry about an hour ago,” Dean began. You gritted your teeth, remembering that you had forgotten to tell Dean about meals altogether. Your earlier babysitter already knew everything.

“I’m so sorry, Dean,” you began, but Dean cut you off.

“It’s alright, Y/N. I just hope it’s alright that I made her some pasta. I found the right ingredients around your kitchen and I really didn’t want Mia to go hungry for long.”

You smiled, happy at Dean’s care for your daughter. He was still that sweet idiot that you were right to fall head over heels for.

“It’s perfectly okay, Dean. Thank you so much, you’re the best.” You told him, walking out of your office. “I’m on my way home. And before you say anything, you are staying for lunch, if you haven’t had anything already. I’m not taking no for an answer.”

Dean laughed. “I don’t have any plans, so sure.” He said.

“Great, see you at home.”

When you got home, it couldn’t have hurt your heart more to see Mia sleeping with her body leaning on Dean’s. Dean was also nodding off, halfway through watching Toy Story. They looked really adorable.

You were glad that Mia and Dean had taken a liking to each other. You didn’t know if things were going to go anywhere with Dean romantically, but you did intend on maintaining a platonic relationship with him otherwise.

You walked over slowly, pausing the movie before picking Mia up in your arms, letting her wrap her arms around you, nuzzling into your neck. You put a hand on the back of her head, carrying her to her room.

When you got back, you noticed Dean was sitting up, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

“Sleep well?” You asked him, smiling. You walked over to the couch, sitting down next to him, taking your hair out of his ponytail. Dean only smiled. “I hope Mia wasn’t too much of a handful.”

“Oh, no, she’s a total sweetheart,” Dean told you, turning his body towards you. “She kept talking about how she wants a cat, though,” he said, grimacing, “Not sure how that’ll work with me babysitting, I’m allergic.”

“You only tell yourself that because you’re afraid of them!” You called Dean out, seeing him holding his hands up in surrender. You continued after a few moments, “Listen, thanks for babysitting today, you were a huge help. But I have a babysitter, I really won’t need your help again.”

“Didn’t you say your babysitter is expensive? Really, Y/N, I had a great time with Mia!” Dean said to you. “I mean, it’s totally your call, but don’t think I did it out of compulsion. Anything for a friend.”

You smiled, feeling warmth reaching your ears. You tried to divert your mind’s attention from the fact that Dean was being so fucking nice to you. “Pizza?”

“You know it.”

“Y’know, Mia was really happy with me playing the guitar,” Dean said, finishing off the crust of the last slice of pizza. “You play often?”

“I don’t get any time for it.” You said, sighing softly. Your legs were up on the coffee table, mere inches away from Dean’s. “I wish I did, though. I really enjoy it. I enjoy listening also,” you said, looking at Dean from the corner of your eye. “Shame I didn’t get to listen to you, though.”

Dean knew where you were going with this. “I’ll go get it,” he said almost immediately, getting up and walking towards your guest room.

Once Dean was back, he sat down on your coffee table, right across you. “I know you used to like Sweet Home Alabama as a teenager.”

You smiled, nodding, “You remember?”

“Of course I remember,” Dean winked. You felt something coil in your stomach. Dean positioned his fingers over the strings, clearing his throat dramatically. You watched as his fingers skilfully danced over the fretboard, barre chord after barre chord, looking at you continuously.

You joined him in singing, watching as Dean ultimately got up and sat down next to you.

As the song ended, Dean sighed, satisfied, setting down the guitar next to him. “I hope that met your standards, m’lady.”

“Totally, kind sir.” You said, your neck turned to look at him better. You looked into his forest green eyes, taking them in. Dean mirrored your gaze, and you had a feeling he had leaned in just slightly. Just a feeling.

Both of you stayed like that for what seemed like forever. Dean licked his lips, looking down to yours and back at your eyes. Your heart was beating a mile a minute, your breathing was shallow.

Dean whispered, “I was serious about looking after Mia.”

You nodded, feeling brave, leaning in to close the distance between the two of you. It was a ghost of a kiss before Dean took it further, pressing his lips against yours. His hand came to your neck, his calloused fingers rubbing softly. You pulled away before it could go any further, still maintaining close proximity to Dean’s face. “You might get to spend more time with me, too,” you whispered back.

Dean smiled shyly, “How could I pass up an offer like that?”

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bachelorbro-blog1 · 7 years

Text

Season 13, Episode 1 (The One Where Blake K Doesn't Get a Rose)

Welcome back, Bachelor Nation! I’m super excited about this season of the Bachelorette (mostly because Rachel is not Nick Viall and will never be Nick Viall). You all know how I feel about Rachel (and that I knew she’d be the next Bachelorette since the first episode of last season), so I won’t wax poetic about her. Instead, I’ll just start this recap. Let’s go!

The episode opens with Chris Harrison talking about how much we all love Rachel. Duh. Obviously. Let’s move on.

Rachel does some street dancing, plays basketball alone, “goes to court” (by which I mean she performs in an instructional video about what lawyers do as directed by someone who doesn't know any lawyers), flashes back to meeting gross Nick (complete with beignet eating and limo crying), takes a plane with her DOG WHOSE NAME IS COPPER (!!!), poses for some pictures, chats with some grandmas, and finally drives up to the mansion.

Time to meet some guys!

Pretty Boy Pitbull Kenny King is a wrestler. He is very sweaty and panty for a solid chunk of his intro video and has a very tall ten year old daughter. (Is Rachel ready to get engaged to a man who has a ten year old child and possibly be that child’s step mother?). He makes a pun about rings.

Jack Stone is a lawyer (like Rachel), is 31 (like Rachel), and is from Dallas (like Rachel). He talks about the passing of his mother while staring out at some water and then plays with a dog.

Alex would like to let you all know that is not a meat head. He likes books and coding and learning and Rubiks Cubes. Ok? Those are things meat heads don't like! Only nerds like those things!

Mohit is a start-up guy. He loves dancing with his family in his living room.

Alright. Here he fucking is. Whaboom -- a manboy named Lucas who frequently wears shirts that have cartoon versions of his own face on them. This guy is going to be either my most favorite or my least favorite.

Blake E (omega Blake) is a sports nutritionist and certified lunatic. He works out on the beach and talks about how amazing his penis is (by which he means it’s slightly below average). Fuck this guy.

Next up is Diggy, who loves clothes and has 575 pairs of shoes (or 1150 individual shoes). Diggy, you see, is a fashionista. He also has a dog, but we don't get to know how many pairs of shoes the dog owns.

Josiah makes me cry. Top 5, easily. E A S I L Y . His older brother killed himself when he was younger and Josiah had to cut him down from the tree that he hung himself on. Josiah has an amazing story and is either this season’s winner or next season's Bachelor.

A meeting of the minds commences. Among Rachel’s panel of advisors is Astrid (who I forgot about), Whitney (who everyone forgot about), nanny-having Corinne, dolphin lady Alexis, Raven (the true winner of Nick Viall’s season of The Bachelor), beautiful princess Kristina, and Jasmine G. (the one who choked Nick -- big fan). Everyone loves Eric, Raven believes that DeMario is amazing (but Whitney thinks he’s THERE FOR THE WRONG REASONS™️), and some ill-advised voice likes Dean (the one who made the “I’m ready to go black and I’m never going back” comment).

Time for the men to come out of the limo. Finally.

First out of the limo is Peter. He is wearing a nice jacket and doesn't say anything awful. Congratulations, Peter!

Next is Josiah, this season’s winner. He makes a lawyer joke. Smells like a wedding to me!

Out comes chiropractor Bryan. He speaks Spanish and looks like a much more attractive version of my neighbor.

Kenny calls her “Pretty Rachel” and then dances with her. I am overcome with grief.

Rob doesn't get much of an introduction, but who cares?

There is also a man named Iggy. Diggy and Iggy. Fine.

Bryce, the transphobic firefighter, lifts Rachel off of her feet. Get out, Bryce.

Next out of the limo is Steve Urkel, followed by Stefan Urquelle. His real name is Will. As in when Will this end?

Here comes Diggy, who loves The Devil Wears Prada. He makes a pun based off of his name.

Kyle shows Rachel his buns. Who is Kyle?

Blake K (alpha Blake) talks about his grandparents who recently celebrated their 65th wedding anniversary. Big fan of Blake K. Huge.

Brady shows up with a sledge hammer. He is immediately terrifying. He “breaks the ice” at which point I feel he should be lead away from Rachel with his hands behind his back. He is also possibly wearing lavender lipstick.

Dean, who made that cringe-worthy comment when he first met Rachel, is shaking and grinning. Rachel lies about loving the comment. This is your season, Rachel. You do not have to lie to anyone.

Here comes Eric, my first round draft pick. Now I find him boring.

DeMario, who brought plane tickets to Vegas to his first encounter with Rachel, looks forward to more “first moments” with her. His confidence is overwhelming.

Gross Blake E arrives with a marching band. Do less, Blake E. I implore you. (Side note: Blake E’s hair is straight up disgusting).

Let’s make misogynistic comments about Rachel! A smart and funny woman? How is that possible? No woman has ever been smart AND funny! There must be some sort of catch! Several men’s heads explode.

Fred, who knew Rachel in elementary school, brings a yearbook. Rachel remembers his bad behavior. I sincerely hope he becomes this season’s Liz the Doula. (Miss you, Liz!)

Jonathan, the tickle monster, makes me scream into a pillow. If anyone ever tried to tickle me upon meeting me I would actually knock them out. Not appropriate, creepy Jonathan.

Lee, whose guitar lets me know it’s alright to hate him, wastes no time in introducing himself as a monster. He is a self-proclaimed singer/songwriter, and a me-proclaimed douchebag.

Alex the Mensa genius brings a vacuum because why not?

Milton, who literally admitted that he wanted to be discovered by a talent agent, takes a selfie with Rachel. Bye!

Adam brings a mannequin named Adam Jr. Adam Jr. (AJ) will more than likely compete on Bachelor in Paradise because Rachel hates him. AJ is left in the corner where he conspires against all of the other men in the house whilst Jonathan tickles people.

Matt is a penguin. Can’t wait until Alexis decks him on Paradise.

Grant arrives in an ambulance.

Anthony is wearing a beige suit. Different!

Jamey is unsavory upon first sight and unsavory upon further inspection.

Jack Stone has a great (crocodile) smile. Maybe he uses it to bite people.

Mohit makes some kind of comment about her having the upper hand. Is he a dom? A misogynist? Both? Neither? Where are his dancing family members?

A man whose legal name is Jedidiah quotes a Bible verse about crying. He is not wearing a full suit.

Michael brings a brownie. I pick him.

The men wonder who will go crazy. Here’s Whaboom. He is contractually obligated to show up when someone says “crazy,” “maniac,” “Whaboom,” or “testicles.” He turns bright red while yelling and carries a megaphone. Can't wait until he’s full drunk.

All 31 men (and 1 mannequin) are now in the mansion. Time for Rachel to like actually kind of meet them, but not really because chances are they’ll speak with her for like 10 minutes each and continuously steal her from each other.

Josiah tells Rachel his story, but she's only kind of buying what he's selling. It’s ok. They just need time to fall in love.

Dean and Rachel build a sand castle together. Dean, the youngest man in the mansion, thinks this is cute. Rachel is his babysitter.

Rob brought a baseball card with Rachel on it.

Anthony would like to understand Rachel.

Eric and Rachel dance again, but the spark is gone.

Someone gave AJ a glass of champagne. He is a child! He cannot drink!

Matt the Penguin asks if Rachel prefers Michael Jackson or Prince while AJ (who, like a clown, is hilarious and terrifying) (mostly terrifying) professes his love for Rachel in French.

Rachel remembered Fred the moment she saw him. He’s the top 5 guy who makes her feel comfortable, connected to her past, but he won't win.

Bryan steals Rachel. He is mature and handsome and surely top 5 material. His confidence, unlike DeMario’s, is endearing because it’s over-the-top in a funny way. You can tell he doesn't really believe all of these things about himself. (I hope). Rachel and Bryan kiss. She didn’t want to kiss anyone tonight, but says that she enjoyed him.

The first impression rose is brought out. Everyone starts sweating (and drinking). Let’s be honest. Bryan is getting the rose. No one else spent that kind of time with Rachel. And, as a first impression rose winner herself, she knows who’s real and who’s fake.

DeMario talks a lot, according to Josiah. Rachel is impressed by his confidence.

Jamey mentioned that his suit cost $2,000. He is Gob Bluth and I was right to hate him.

Men swarm Rachel. She is starting to get nervous. Cancel the season! Send everyone home! Let Rachel have fun in the mansion by herself.

Mohit is drunk and can't seem to find the right way to steal Rachel.

Rachel tells Peter that she doesn’t like chocolate while Whaboom narrates through a megaphone.

Blake E hates Whaboom so I officially love Whaboom. I would very much like to see Whaboom deck Blake E. I would very much like to see anyone (especially Rachel) deck Blake E.

None of these men seem to realize that they can only have a few minutes with Rachel. There are 31 of you and her time is more valuable than all of yours combined. Get with the picture.

I also just realized that Alex brought a vacuum because when we first met Rachel during Nick’s season she danced with a vacuum. Fine.

“Cash me outside, how bow dah?” asks Josiah. Oh, Josiah. I was rooting for you.

Kenny brings up his daughter -- his favorite person in the whole world. Maybe I was wrong to judge him. He’s a good father.

The first impression rose goes to Bryan because duh. Mohit gasps. He is the DGAP.

it’s finally time for the first rose ceremony!

Roses go to:

- Normal Peter

- Will Urkel

- Smiley Jack Stone

- Slimy Jamey

- Forgettable Iggy

- Dance Machine Eric

- Confident DeMario

- Jonathan the Creep

- Transphobic Bryce

- Alex the Mega Genius

- Kenny the Wrestling Dad

- Baby Dean

- Matt the Penguin

- Anthony (and his eyebrows)

- Brady the Lip Gloss Aficionado

- Josiah the Future Winner

- Hatable Lee

- Fashion-forward Diggy

- Fred from Camp

- Adam (but not Adam Jr, which is rude)

- Blake E who is more than likely sticky

and last, but certainly not least

- Whaboom (because this is reality television)

Roses do not go to:

- Bland Rob

- Drunk Mohit

- Forgettable Kyle

- Blake K (who actually voluntarily left to see his grandfather in the ICU -- i.e. the true winner of this season)

- Grant, who was not on this episode

- Bible-quoting Jedidiah

- Milton, who will never get the chance to be famous now (FIRST CRY OF THE SEASON)

and

- Brownie-bringing Michael

Alright, the season has begun. Who will win? Who will lose? Who will beat the crap out of Blake E? Here’s to finding out!

#the bachelorette #recap #tv recap #bachelorette #bachelorette recap #the bachelorette recap

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