#imostlypostedthisforhelpwithwritingbetter

[thisusernameiswack]

Don’t leave Me

❖ A/N: Heyy so this is gonna be my first time posting ever on here and my first time posting any of my fics. I’m pretty new to making y/n fanfics so go easy on me. I’m open to all critics but keep in mind to not be so harsh, I’m still experimenting and testing new things out. So if the words are a little jumbled or don’t make sense that’s probably why😭. You can point out any errors or just words of advice in my dms. This story is random asf but that’s just what happens when I come up with ideas for stories. Maybe I’ll turn it into a long fic…I’m not sure. Anyways, I hope you enjoy this and lmk what you think!

❖ Word count: 2k+

❖ Warning: 18+, Tragic end, Depressing topics, Mentions of death, dead body, attachment, codependency, like two curse words lol, and lmk if there’s more

Y/N is afab. This is like a fantasy type world thing with kingdoms and magic. Shit like that.

*sometimes the italics is for your(y/n’s) inner thoughts or his(you can insert any male character for him) thoughts*

Ok so here we go~

His right hand is cupping your cheek. Thumb rubbing the apple of your cheek left to right. You bask in his warmth, his closeness. Craving more of his touch. Chasing more of the feeling of him, you nudge your head into his palm. He chuckles a little. Right now you look so cute, like a cat in his hand.

“It’s soft,” you say, voice still breaking. His hands are so soft

For a second you let the moment be still. But you can’t get over what he just revealed to you. He said what you thought would be impossible. A world without him… if there was, what were you? Gone. Dead.

“Don’t leave. Don’t leave me. You-you can’t leave me please. Just stay. Just S-stay please I- I need you.”

“Shhh it’s ok.”

“No no n-,”

“You’ll be fine.”

“But I can’t, I cantt. Please don’t do this to me. I-.” Not alone. I can’t be alone. It’s not possible. It’s impossible. I need you.

“Sit down.”

“Please,” you drag out the e to emphasize how much you need him to listen to you. You understand how bratty you sound at the moment but it can’t be helped, you’re practically begging for your life now.

“Just sit down real quick.”

You’re hesitant, so he gently pushes your shoulder down into the couch, you quickly comply but not without sniffling and hiccuping like a baby that just threw a tantrum. The tears just won’t stop and the snot won’t either. After you’re seated he starts to slot himself between your knees. Sitting on his knees on the soft carpet. Caressing your hands in an effort to calm you down. It’s no use though because you’re still tearing up, the water works keep rolling. You take a hand away from him to wipe your face off. Taking the sleeve of your(his) sweater down your face. When you catch the smell of him on your(his) sweater the tears just come harder. You let out a indescribable whimper and he makes a face.

“Baby, please just listen to me for a moment.”

You shake your head no furiously. I can’t listen to this, I won’t. You’re leaving me to die. Cant you see how much I need you? Have you seen me this vulnerable? Exactly, you’ve never seen me this way. I’m showing you how much I’ll miss you. I’m showing you how much I need you. Don’t leave. I’ll die without you. Truly.

“Just try okay, it’s important,” he raises his hand to caress your cheek again. You move your head away, your face scrunches in a grimace. How could you? How dare you? He’s dejected by the gesture but continues on nonetheless. Places his best smile on ever and continues. “While I’m gone-,” you let out another huff of solemn disapproval. He sighs, “When I’m gone I’ll need you to do something for me. It’s gonna ensure I come back to you. Safe and healthy.” You furrow your brows, lips in a bit of a frown, head lost in your thoughts. To his surprise you let out a dry laugh. Of course you’ll be okay. You’ll be just fine. But me? Hah. I won’t be here I won’t be alive. As soon as you go I go-

Your sole survival depends on this man’s presence without him you’re dead. And no not because of attachment issues. But because you are essentially attached to him. Unbeknownst to him, you guys are magically linked. And once someone leaves for a long extended period the link weakens as does the person connected. Strangely enough it affects the person who fell in love the most. But wasn’t that both of you? No it’s the person that fell the hardest. It hurts to know he doesn’t love you as deep as you thought and the fact that he’s not listening to your pleads-

You’re just not that important.

Your mind states, but you know it’s not like that. He needs to do this. But as much as he needs to complete this mission. You need him to stay, at home, with you. You told me once I was your home. So what happened now. Why would you leave when things finally felt right? Why can’t you take me with you? This wouldn’t happen if-

-stop that it’s not his fault. Right? Hah, nothing’s ever his fault. So who takes the blame? Oh right me…how fucking laughable.

But isn’t it better that way?

You couldn’t stand it being the other way around. A world without him- does that even exist? Oh right it will, because you’ll be gone, and he’ll mourn you. But he’ll move on, that’s just him. He always finds a way to get through. Whether that be with or without you in the picture. When that day comes he’ll find someone new. That’ll love him just as much as you did, if not more. You’re glad that you won’t be there to see it because that day you’ll really perish. A new person will fill his heart. And you’ll be kicked out. Forgotten and only you will know how intense this love was. It sucks. That really is a murder in itself. To be forgotten is truly a fatal fate. It’s hard to come to grips with the fact that he didn’t love you that much. But what can you do? This is how the curse works.

But hey, isn’t it better this way?

At this point you accepted it. Accepted that you weren’t that important in his life. Accepted that he should’ve loved you just as much, if not equally. That was on him for not loving you the way he should’ve. So with this you accepted death, welcomed them with open arms. If death truly wanted you, you’d welcome it, let them have you, bathe in it, laugh with it. Hell you could love death. At least it wanted you back…. You decided that day that you were dead. Death has token you, snatched you from the grasps of your lover. Without him even noticing, and you let it happen because you’d rather death then to see him love another(even though it wasn’t remotely possible, because you would be gone). You’d find comfort in death’s arms, because his love wasn’t comforting enough. Death loved you enough to want you dead with them for eternity. Forever. Your lover didn’t love you enough to stay. How fucked up was that? Truly a pitiful fate. You start thinking you should’ve died that day you met him. You knew that falling for him would’ve ended in heartbreak then. But you still fell. Fell right to your death.

He taps your thigh repeatedly, looking into your eyes expectingly. Your eyes were blank. As if you drifted to another world. It was scary. How empty they looked as if you died- but that’s not possible because you’re right here. He tried to ignore it. Thought it was because you were being stubborn, ignoring what he was saying on purpose, but when you didn’t respond after he kept talking, fear dreaded him. He thought he lost you, but you were still here. It was a terrifying thought.

“Baby?” His voice broke and tears stung his eyes. He keeps tapping hoping you’ll come back. Come back to life? Come back to him. It’s like you shut down. There’s no life in your eyes… Almost as if you died.

Suddenly, your body slumps back on the couch, eyes rolling back in the process. He quickly rises to his feet to catch your- cold body? When did you get so cold, why are you cold?

His blood runs cold, he sees your body start to pale. It’s a slight difference from your usual skin. But he knows you so well, knows every inch of your body that it’s damn well committed to his memory. So of course he notices a difference, that alarming dull in your usual bright hue.

“Baby what’s wrong?” He takes you by the shoulders and shakes your body a little. Thinking maybe you fainted from over exhaustion. From crying too much. It’s ridiculous, but it’s easier to accept instead of you dying in front of his very eyes. The fact that he let it happen, that he didn’t do anything. He couldn’t take being the reason why you- died. He couldn’t take being the reason why you passed out. It wasn’t possible. You went through tons of stuff that was way more strenuous on your body. It’s no way a couple of tears made you go night night.

So he checks your pulse. If you’re asleep you’ll have a pulse, hah..of course you’ll have a pulse because you’re not dead! You can’t be…you can’t. Denial.

When he presses two fingers to you’re pulse point on your neck there’s nothing there. He lets out a dry chuckle, maybe your wrist. No pulse. He puts his head to your chest. Ear trying it’s best to find anything, to detect a beat, a breath. But there’s nothing. Nothing at all. No sign of life. It’s like you really died.

“No”. He moves to sit more comfortably on the couch with you perched up on his lap. His arms clutched around your shoulders so tight that if you were alive he definitely would’ve killed you then. He’s rocking back and forth with you cradled in his arms, your cold cheek is rested on his sternum. It literally shocks him to his core. He just can’t believe it.

He takes a sharp breath in. “Please say this is a joke, that this is one of your silly games.” He lets out a broken gasp. The tears really start when he looks down at your lifeless body only to catch a glimpse of your eyes. It’s nothing but white.

He moves an arm, one still holding you close to his body, while the left one goes up to touch your eye. When your head goes limp and falls back, he makes sure to hold your head with his right hand. Then try’s to pull back that stubborn eyelid just so he can get a look of your eyes again. It’s a bit disgusting but he doesn’t care. Actually, it wasn’t disgusting. What was so disgusting about wanting to see those pretty eyes just one last time?

They were filled with so much sadness earlier. So much grief it broke his heart. Did you know you were gonna die then? It’s like you mourned your own death earlier. He much rather see those eyes. He loves your eyes. Those beautiful but stubborn eyes that won’t close. Those eyes that seem to be staring into his soul, blaming him. Like they’re angry at him. Hah, you rarely got mad but when you did oh boy…you won’t get mad at him again though. You never will...

He shakes his head. Trying to focus. Those eyes that begged him- that begged him…what were you pleading for? Why were you trying so desperately to get him to stay. If only you could- wait, he should ask you.

Hahaha duh. I can just ask you because you’re right here. Because it’s no fucking way that you’re dead! He taps your cheek. “What were you tryna tell me earlier? Huh baby? I’m listening now…just speak. Say something. Anything.” He try’s shaking you again. It doesn’t work. His hand cradles your head, just like earlier. With his hand placed on your cheek, rubbing his thumb absently there. Its soft.

A dry smile plasters his face. For some reason he’s reminiscing now. He misses the way your head would voluntarily lean into his touch. But now it’s just struggling to stay up. If it wasn’t for his hand your head would just fall again.

It’s like he’s trying to reverse time. To go back to when you were pleading him to stay. Now he’s doing the same. “You can’t just leave me like this. We were supposed to go to the… why’d you- how could you?” Bitter. Anger. Bitter for what exactly? Because you’re not here. Angry with who? You, because you won’t respond.

His warm forehead touches your cold one. Weirdly enough it stings. “We were supposed to start a family. You were just starting a life here. Ohh ugh,” he seethes a breathe, “We. We were starting a life here. What happened?”

Every breath between the words he spoke was a struggle to come out and every inhale pained him more. It was proof that he was alive, yes. But proves that you were dead, unfortunately.

“Come on love just tell me. I won’t be mad. Just don’t scare me like this,” it’s too late. He doesn’t know it yet. He’s clueless to the whole thing. He killed you. But he doesn’t know how. He killed the love of his life. What could he do now? “Just- please, don’t go. Come back to me. Don’t leave me. I need you, please. I love you. Come back. I’m not going anywhere as long as you’ll come back. Please? I promise I’m not going anywhere. I love you. IloveyouIloveyouloveyou.”

A chocked sob leaves him when he doesn’t get the response he wants from you. This is the part where he gives up. Fuck depression, here comes acceptance. He accepts that you’re gone. But first, he’ll mourn. Mourn all the time he’s lost for the future. The future that could’ve been. The future with YOU in it. Mourn the person that used to be. That was alive and full of so much life. So much potential, so much love. But is now a hollow body. The shell of the women he once loved. His first love. (But surely not his last😕). Mourn the fact that he didn’t get to properly send her off. That he didn’t really get to say goodbye.

Then he’ll find a way to live without her. It hurts. So much. But he’ll find a way to move go on. He’ll be ok. He needs to be. He still has responsibilities to take care of. But right now he’ll break, break into a trillion pieces over your cold cold body. Then pick up the pieces. Piece himself back together. Because that’s what he does, that’s just who he is. The man who loved just a little too late

#y/n #reader insert #i dont know what im doing #imostlypostedthisforhelpwithwritingbetter #isuckatdialogue #shigaraki x y/n #shigaraki x reader #reiner x y/n #reiner x reader #gyutaro x reader #gyutaro x y/n #chrollo x reader #chrollo x y/n #choso x y/n #choso x reader #armin x reader #armin x y/n #deku x reader #deku x y/n #eraserhead x reader #eraserhead x y/n #aizawa x reader #aizawa x y/n #tomura x reader