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#im really frustrated with myself and its gettibg harder and harder to be both kind to myself and to allow myself to grow
keespah
·
3 years
Text
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#text
#personal
#tag vent
#i have nowhere else to put this garbage
#so please just keep scrolling and ignore this because it really doesnt matter i just need to buy a damn diary
#i hate that literally less than a week after my therapist clears and discharges me
#i end up chugging 4 adult drinks and just make everyone uncomfy during game night with my self deprication
#and now i feel like shit because i was acting like shit
#i dont know how to interact with friends anymore im so sick of myself
#and i dont even want to bring it up to my partner cause theyre dealing with enough shit
#im just sick of it all
#and like i dont want to die but like
#i feel like im trying to play a save file that got corrupted after i used cheats to get thru a part i was stuck at or some shit
#like yeah i got past that point but now the game is nearly unplayable
#im really frustrated with myself and its gettibg harder and harder to be both kind to myself and to allow myself to grow
#because all my life i have only known growth because of pain
#so how the fuck am i supposed to do this?!
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