#im not holding out hope but am supportive of that avenue

[zvaigzdelasas]

Do you think it’s the beginning of the end for Israel or will they recover from what’s happening?

I think at this point this largely depends on the reaction from other regional actors (particularly Iran, Hezbu'llah, Syria, Houthis/Ansarallah, and PMUs & other Iraqi militants). I would be rather surprised if they came out of this with a comparable form of statehood as currently exists, and with comparable international legitimacy

#westerners can stop this escalation & regional conflict thru forcing a ceasefire #im not holding out hope but am supportive of that avenue

[owlyflufff]

“we are the protagonists of the world” | a playlist series for Bokuaka

Stage 3: Center of (my) the Universe

(or home is where the heart is and to Koutarou and Keiji, it’s in the hugs and kisses slipped between, the constant mutual support they give each other, the rings resting on their fingers and the promise of love that came with it, but most importantly, it’s simply with each other)

⭐Grow As We Go by Ben Platt 🌎

“You don't ever have to leave, if to change is what you need, you can change right next to me.”

⭐So Will I by Ben Platt 🌎

“The mountains won't start moving and the rivers won't run dry, the world will always be there, and so will I.”

⭐This I Promise You by NSYNC 🌎

“And I will take you in my arms and hold you right where you belong.”

⭐Forever Unstoppable by Hot Chelle Rae 🌎

“When you're broken, and you're shattered, love will save you from disaster.”

⭐Anywhere With You Is Home by Sam Tsui 🌎

“And I can drive a thousand miles if I'm driving there with you. Oh I can drive the rest of my life if it'll always be us two.” 

⭐Nothing’s Gonna Change My Love For You by George Benson🌎

“The world may change my whole life through but nothing's gonna change my love for you.”

⭐Home by Boyce Avenue🌎

“The trouble it might drag you down, if you get lost, you can always be found, just know you're not alone, cause I'm gonna make this place your home.”

⭐You by A Great Big World🌎

“I never could imagine how my life would change the day you came, and how all my fears and worries would just wash away.”

⭐Love You for a Long Time by Maggie Rogers🌎

“And in the mornin' when I'm wakin' up I swear that you're the first thing that I'm thinkin' of.” 

⭐Teach You by Emily King🌎

“Do I have to explain how to care for somebody you trust? Make them feel like there's no one else around, pick up when you think they're going down.”

⭐We & Us by Moira Dela Torre🌎

“I'll have my you, you'll have your me. No matter what may come we'll have our we and us.” 

⭐Imagine by Ben Platt🌎

“Your eyes give life a new meaning, it's like I found the north light. I never knew what I needed, until I felt your hand holding mine.”

⭐Toothpaste Kisses by Thomas Law🌎

“Lay with me, I’ll lay with you. We’ll do the things that lovers do.”

⭐You Are by Pixie Labrador🌎

“You are kindness when the world is cruel. You are patience when there's no time to lose.You are sunsets on rooftops, with a breathtaking view. You are more than what words could ever write about you.”

⭐I Was Made for Loving You by Madilyn Paige🌎

“I was made for lovin you, even though we may be hopeless hearts just passin through. Everyone screamin I don't know what we should do, all I know darlin is I was made for lovin you.”

⭐Better by JJ Heller🌎

“You make me laugh a little louder. You make me dream a little bigger, my life is so much sweeter 'cause you make me, you make me better.”

⭐Best Part of Me by Landon Austin🌎

“'Cause you are the best part of me, the side I hope everyone sees.”

⭐Love Like This by Ben Rector🌎

“It's a million things about you and I don't know what it is, I have never known a love like this.”

⭐Extraordinary Magic by Ben Rector🌎

“Out of thin air you appeared in my life, like a burst of Technicolor in a world of black and white. When my heart was locked inside a box you reached inside and now, I see my future when I look into your eyes.”

⭐All I Need by Foster🌎

“When I can’t find the words to speak, just know you’re all I need.”

⭐When You’re With Me by The Afters🌎

“Hold you, I will hold you, through the better and the worse. Promise, oh, I promise and I'm not just saying words.”

⭐I Am Yours by Andy Grammer🌎

“You got the universe swimming in your eyes, Im an open book when you look in mine. You'll find that I was put here to love you.”

⭐Meant to Be by JJ Heller🌎

“As long as you're beside me, I'll go anywhere.”

⭐It’ll Be Alright by JJ Heller🌎

“I'll hold you in the dark or the daylight, I love you, it'll be alright.”

⭐I Hear a Symphony by Cody Fry🌎

“I used to hear a simple song, that was until you came along. You took my broken melody and now I hear a symphony.”

⭐Can’t Help Falling in Love With You by Elvis Presley🌎

“Take my hand, take my whole life, too. For I can't help falling in love with you.”

⭐Unconditionally by Katy Perry🌎

“I'll take your bad days with your good. Walk through the storm, I would. I do it all because I love you.”

#TIMESKIP BOKUAKA TIMESKIP BOKUAKA TIMESKIP BOKUAKA #Timeskip Bokuaka time <33 #these batch of songs of course are dedicated to Bokuaka's lives during the timeskip #Nothing but soft sappy and feel good songs for my favorite time in Bokuaka's story! #This also concludes the Bokuaka playlist series but expect some additional songs every now and then whenever I find more! #Bokuaka #Bokuaka fluff #Bokuaka timeskip #Bokuaka playlist #Bokuto #Akaashi #Bokuto Koutarou #Akaashi Keiji #Haikyu!! #Haikyu #Haikyuu!! #Haikyuu #HQ

[kob131]

Geez, this person really went all out with this BS rant against the show/staff. www(.)reddit( lcom/r/RWBY/comments/kiqatg/why_rwby_will_always_be_an_okay_show/

... You know I have been trying to step away from directly addressing RWBY bullshit. But...fuck it here.

If you ever talked to me about how I felt about RWBY, I would say that RWBY pre-Volume 8 has been a touchy subject for me. I felt very validated by two videos, "Why RWBY is Disappointing" and "The White Fang Problem".

Yes yes, and people with parental issues feel validated by their abusive spouse. That means nothing, especially given that one of those videos you mentioned is riddled with bullshit.

"Why RWBY is Disappointing" validated my criticism of RWBYs writing. The fact that Miles and Kerry can't and refuse to take any kind of criticism that doesn't hurt their feelings is complete [insert bad word here]. All criticism is going to hurt your feelings. Yes, you should probably ignore the long winded rants that make themselves out to be self important- why is there a mirror here? But there is truth to all criticism.

And there’s a kernel of truth in the best lies- they’re still LIES.

Not to mention the video you mentioned here (which I am assuming is Hbomberguy’s) pulls the SAME SHIT it calls out. Like say...decrying critics pesonally attacking the writers...while proclaiming Jaune and Neptune as self inserts even though Miles AND Kerry is on the record saying that at least Jaune isn’t written by his voice actor.

I'm currently learning about Branding and how important it is to know your audience. Take self.care breaks, talk with someone you trust. Someone who isn't Miles or Kerry! If your reading this. An outside perspective can help. The reason I say that is because if you two constantly talk to each other you're going to end up in an echo chamber. TALK TO FIONA! She's literally your target audience!

Because hey, a man who contradicts himself numerous times and made personal attacks on the creators that only the most malicious and self righteous do is SOOOO trustworthy right? 

Remember that tweet Hbomb brought up in his video as an example of criticism the creators should listen to? The one that demanded Miles get back to work and tried to use the catchphrase of his dead friend to manipulate him?

What a fucking target audience.

I know they mentioned ‘Fiona’ (likely the character’s voice actress) but there’s a supposed fan, one that pretty much sums up the critics, and a perfect example why it gets tossed out.

Moving on, the other video validated something I wish it didn't. "The White Fang Problem" brought to light something I knew was there but either ignored or I wasn't thinking. The White Fang has always made me a little uncomfortable. As a minority, it didn't translate well in my head. The minority are the bad guys. The Civil rights group were the bad guys. I brushed it off for a long time but after that video I couldn't.

Ah huh. So uh, the existence of Blake, Ghira, Kali, Sun, Illa, Velvet, Neon ect. is just incovienable to you huh? And don’t give me that ‘But civil rights group!’- The first episode had them break up a peaceful protest and it’s repeatedly hammered home that the current White Fang doesn’t give a SHIT about equal rights. And no, that concept is not racist- Judging from a story I read, that happened to the New Black Panthers in REAL LIFE.

It became a moral issue. Watching RWBY became a moral issue. RWBY is still pushing right wing talking points.-

Being right of you is not right wing, Especially given how you just acted.

I dont believe Miles and Kerry are racist. I do believe that Miles and Kerry both hold skewed beliefs in what right and wrong is.

Projection.

The way Miles and Kerry treat self defense and protest shows that they know nothing about being Black. They didn't do their research. They didn't talk to minorities about how they were being portrayed. They simply believed that they were right and we were wrong.

Ah huh, ah huh, ah huh-

Monty wrote the White Fang this way. You know, the ASIAN man of FOUR NATIONALITIES. So uh, congrats on saying at the absolute most- Nothing.

Now these two videos are old news. They've been posted on this very same subreddit. But you can't go around and say how much of a progressive and open minded individual you are when the fact that RWBY is a racist show and treats minorities very badly. So no one talks about them.

Or that, as I showed: these videos are bullshit.

Also its kinda homophobic too, not because of Bumblby but because despite Tera and Saphorn being a happy married couple they never kiss on screen. Have you seen happy married couples? Have you seen gay happy married couples? They literally do nothing but kiss. Its cute and adorable and deserves to be spread as far and wide. Despite the show having two straight couple kisses, granted one was in Volume but still, they couldn't get the married couple to kiss? Just saying.

... And not all gay couples are the same, even if I’m sure you’re thinking of TEENAGERS.

You know, judging people based on a preconcieved notion (AKA stereotyping) is pretty fucking bigoted itself...

Watch people be in the comments typing away that this isn't a romance show and how I shouldn't expect romance in an action adventure show despite the long list of evidence to the contrary.

Ah yes, that long list of ONE kiss by a TORPEDOED SHIP.

Such convincing rhetoric.

So you can see I was not coming into Volume 8 with my rose colored glasses. I'm sure many of you hate me because of all my comments, but I don't care. I was ready to leave RWBY. I didn't care. RWBY had taken up so much of my life but I don't care. I was not going to support a show that didn't improve.

Ah huh-

You just came in with jade-colored glass and accepted anything that validated you instead of questioning yourself. You talk about branding but that’s ALL you’ve branded yourself as.

So I watched. And something happened. Something strange. RWBY was moving in a direction I didn't expect it to. Oscar got what he deserved. The Heros were oblivious to the danger that is Salem. Things were headed in the direction that would change the characters forever. It'll be just like Beacon but better. And then they had to ruin it.

Oh we are about to get some real bullshit.

Oscar somehow convinces Hazel to betray Salem. What could have been an avenue to a multi season story arc for Oscar that included the stories villains became a shitty uninspired redemption arc. Kill me.

No he didn’t and this has been something hinted at since Volume 4.

There's still hope for the season but at this point I lost all hope. 

This is the scene that killed Volume 8 for me. Oscar should not be the one who defeats Salem. In fact he should be an avenue to learn more about the villains. He served his purpose with the heroes, now he has a new arc with the villains. Oscar doesn't turn evil, but he's like a conscious. Salem doesn't want to kill him because he can be useful in finding the last remaining relics and maidens.

Assumptions.

Oscar has a heart to heart with all the villains including Salem. Oscar learns to be his own man and accepts he's now one with Ozma but he doesn't have to be another Ozma. He doesn't have to make the same decisions.

Its a great Arc for Oscar. It also makes sense for his character. Ozma feels Salem is pure evil but Oscar can learn for himself.

Headcanon.

But they won't do that. Instead they're going to take the easy way out. Like always.

Bias getting in the way.

Miles and Kerry love wrapping up each season in a little bow. This is why RWBY is so okay.

They say as every RWBY Volumes ends in a cliffhanger.

This is Beacon but if Miles and Kerry thought that RWBY should still be in Beacon. This is Beacon but without major character death. This is Beacon but the main villain loses because the heroes can't lose. Cinder isn't threatening. None of the villains are. Salem is in a Grimm! She should know everything! Why is there no creativity? Why is she not an over powered mess in A GRIMM!? Her own domain?! Why are the writers writing her not as a powerful goddess reaffirming her as a threat but as a human being. Yes I know what that sounds like but hear me out.

‘None of the villains are threatening!’

‘WHY IS THE MAIN VILLAIN NOT BEING TREATED AS THREATENING LIKE I THINK SHE IS!’

‘Why is there no creativity?’

‘DO THE MOST UNCREATIVE THING POSSIBLE!’

How about I keep mocking you?

If Salem can be out smarted by a 10 year old boy, why did it take Ozma so long to defeat her? Oscar should fail. RWBY should fail. They should go through character arcs that help them better understand Salem. Because that's how you defeat Salem.

Pushing your own thoughts onto the show. Also assumptions AGAIN.

I always believed that Ozma and Salem are very similar to Ruby and Weiss. Yes I know how it sounds but it makes sense.-

Too bad your AU fanfic doesn’t matter.

But they won't. Miles and Kerry will use Oscar to defeat Salem. Why? Who knows at this point. I dont know why Miles and Kerry keep pushing Oscar into the spotlight. Its exactly how they treated Jaune Pre-Volume 7. Jaune had to be the focus so often we hated him. And they're doing it again with Oscar

Ah huh. You know, the whole NOTHING Jaune did in Volume 6 was SOOO spotlight stealing, along with his REMOVAL FROM THE CAST FOR SEVERAL EPISODES.

Wanna bet this is another case of ‘penis on screen, me hate’?

They refuse learn and they refuse to improve. If Volume 8 doesn't improve im leaving RWBY. It doesn't matter to any of you. I'm saying it more for myself. So I don't continue with a show that constantly disappoints me. But more so, I don't support a show that views people like me as lesser. If the writing improves it proves that they can grow and get better but if it doesn't it means they will continue to treat Faunus as misguided and horrible characters. And I refuse to support a show that uses my likeness to get brownie points from people who are unaffected by such messages.

A. No, that’s who refused to do self reflection and improve.

B. Should have done that in the first place.

C. No, once again- You blind yourself from the shit that disproves you.

D. You heard him- Treat the Fanaus like shit and make the humans in the right. You know, the opposite what the show is doing now since it’s SOOO horrible.

E. You are not the center of the universe.

[tacittherapist]

Heartbeats quicken. The tremors return. Rose opens her laptop, glancing about to make sure she’s alone. Gods forbid anyone, especially Jade, see her revisit one of her lowest points. She craves it -- to know the bitter ennui of her past mistakes is a nectar that keeps her reality grounded and the fire under her lit. This particular memory is perhaps the worst mistake of her young life though, and to correct it would be to supp deep from the ichor of sweet relief. She pulls up the log...

tacitTherapist [TT] started trolling grimAuxiliary [GA].

TT: So. GA: So TT: It’s come to this. GA: Indeed It Has TT: And you’re still not budging. GA: Consider My Position Entirely Unmoved TT: Entirely? That seems a bit harsh. GA: This Is A Harsh Reality TT: I imagined you’d have at least granted me the niceties and lied about how malleable your convictions are. GA: Rose GA: What Is There Left To Say GA: We Have A Crucial Difference In Opinion That Cannot Be Reconciled GA: We Have Iterated Our Arguments To Each Other For Days Without Relent GA: The Underlying Basis To This Disagreement Is Presupposed On The Notion That This Infernal Game Has Shown You The Right Course Of Action Without Any Other Supporting Evidence That It Isnt Simply Lying To You Once Again TT: They aren’t lies, they’re possibilities. GA: But Only One Of Them Will Happen To Us GA: The Rest Dont Matter GA: Thus They Are Lies And There Is Just One Truth TT: Couching your beliefs that way is what I disagree with. GA: Then You Arent Fucking Listening GA: Only One Of Those Timelines Will Be The One We Are In GA: So Forgive Me If I Buttress My Language In Solipsistic Idiom GA: Unless You Can Give Me More Than One Percent Assurance That We Will All Make It Through This By Jumping On This Fantastic Savior Satellite GA: I Cannot Support Your Idea And I Suggest You Let It Go TT: I can’t. GA: I Know GA: Thats Why Theres Nothing Left To Say TT: I disagree. I think there are a variety of things left to say. GA: Do They Relate To The Problem At Hand Or Are You Stalling TT: Irrelevant. The impetus of communication isn’t inherently problem-solving, it’s to convey meaning. GA: The Impetus Does Solve A Problem GA: You Want To Convey Meaning So The Solution Is Communication TT: Semantics. I’m saying there are other avenues of thought we must explore first. GA: Rose According To You We Are Running Out Of Time GA: Is This Truly How You Want To Spend Your Last Moments With Us GA: Bickering Pointlessly On Separate Computers To Avoid Devolving Into Another Shouting Competition Which Karkat Invariably Wins TT: Would you rather I pivot into sweet nothings about how I’ve so enjoyed our time together on this desolate rock? TT: Would you rather I spin the yarn of our tale aboard this distant laboratory, slowly starving as our grist cache dwindles? TT: Must I recount our feeding calendar in which we literally take turns stemming the hunger pangs until we all eventually succumb to malnutrition and sickness simultaneously? GA: No TT: Then this is how I’m spending my last moments. Quite presumptuous of you to assume I’ve made up my mind as well. For all you know, I could be swayed and end up staying here. GA: Given You Were Just Eviscerating My Position Mere Seconds Ago As To Why We Should Stay Here Im Sufficiently Certain You Wont TT: That’s another issue. Your certainty. The Light has shown me countless avenues to success. There are literally endless timelines in which we follow my advice and everyone meets up to finish the game. TT: And yet you’re somehow unwaveringly certain that none of them will occur? GA: Your Argument Swings Both Ways TT: I don’t appreciate the implicit reference to my confusing sexuality, but go on. GA: If There Are Countless Possibilities In Which We Succeed Following Your Idea Then There Are Also Countless Possibilities In Which We Succeed Not Following Your Idea GA: Its Two Infinities GA: The Question Lies In Which Infinity Is Bigger TT: That makes no sense, infinity is infinity. GA: Yes But Some Infinities Are Larger Or Smaller Than Others GA: Some Infinities Are Not Even Truly Infinity But We Consider Them Infinity For The Sake of Mathematics TT: How does that make even remote sense? GA: While You Were Studying The Majyyk I Was Reading The Calculus TT: I didn’t realize I was speaking to Jade’s pupil. GA: You Arent GA: If I Were Jades Pupil Wed Have Met Up By Now And We Wouldnt Be Having This Inane Conversation TT: But you can become her pupil! If you just come with me. Trust me, Kanaya. Please. GA: I Trust You Rose GA: But I Cannot Go With You GA: Look GA: The Prophecy Satellite Is On The Horizon GA: You Have Not Much Time TT: Technically I have all the time I need. GA: Dave Has Sworn Off His Powers And You Know This TT: He can be convinced. GA: If Your Powers Of Persuasion On Him Are Anything Like They Are On Me I Highly Doubt That TT: Fuck you. GA: Rose

A pregnant pause passes as Rose looks over on the horizon. The satellite is indeed coming into view.

TT: I’m sorry, Kanaya. TT: I love you. GA: I Love You Too Rose GA: But This Is Goodbye TT: It doesn’t have to be. GA: What GA: Didnt We Just Go Over That Im Not Coming With You And That You Arent Staying Here TT: Yes. But if you don’t say goodbye, it means we’ll meet again. GA: Rose This Is Childish TT: If you don’t say goodbye, it isn’t the end. GA: This Is The End Rose TT: It isn’t the end. I’ll see you again. I’ll find John and Jade by myself and we’ll come get you. GA: How GA: How Long Will It Take To Find Them GA: And How Will You Find Us If You Ever Do GA: This Laboratory Is Bound To Continue Drifting Even After You Depart GA: We Wont Stay Frozen In Place Once You Leave GA: This Isnt Like One Of Those Trashy Rainbowdrinker Books You Devoured GA: This Is Real Rose GA: You Must Face This Truth TT: We are the shapers of our world. GA: Not This Again TT: We determine our own fate. GA: Rose This Is A Quote From Another Novel Please Dont Do This TT: We mold the physical to our whims and thrust it forward through our own designs. We shape destiny. We reject that which displeases us and create our own reality. TT: Can you really not indulge me? As this one last act of kindness? GA: I Will Allow You One Kindness But It Will Not Be This TT: Fine. As my last act of kindness from you, I want... GA: It Cannot Be Something Ridiculous TT: I want you to forget me. GA: What The Fuck Did I Just Say TT: Hear me out. TT: If truly everything we’ve been through thus far has meant so little that you can’t put your faith in my decision, I want you to forget it. TT: It will be as if it never happened. I was merely a phantom in this session, and should I somehow return (against your predictions), I will get to vindictively rub it in your face. TT: But if you’re right, and I never return, the pain for you is lessened. You were never in a relationship with me, so there’s nothing to mourn. I never existed. Things were simply bad, and my nagging insistence to redirect our course was never there. TT: I want you to forget me. GA: Rose You Know I Cant Do That TT: Not even for me? As your last kindness? GA: It Would Not Be Kind To Invalidate The Memories You Ensured We Would Create GA: It Would Not Be Kind To Devalue Everything You Have Done For Us GA: And I Still Cherish Those Memories Even If They Led To Something Painful TT: It will only cause you more pain if you hold onto them. I don’t want you to suffer. GA: I Want To Suffer These Memories GA: They Offer Me Some Reassurance TT: But not enough to convince you to join me. GA: No

Rose stops typing, a nerve in her snapping. Her face goes beet-red, despair swelling into wrath. She sets her claws to the keyboard once more.

TT: Then if not by your grace, I’ll make you forget through spite. GA: What TT: I want to be forgotten. I want my existence to be erased from this failure of a timeline. I never loved you. You meant nothing to me. GA: Rose TT: My departure will be a curse upon you unless you forget. Whether by magic or by will, you must forget me. All those memories I made with you meant nothing. I did those things only to ensure my own survival. Your presence was happenstance at best. TT: Now that I’m heading out on my own, our destinies are uncoupled. Whatever happens to you is beneath me. I am taking the path to victory, and you can all squander the rest of your miserable lives here. TT: I won’t come back for you. I gave you all the chances I had. This is your fault. GA: Rose Please Dont Do This TT: You won’t see me again. I’m getting on that satellite and I’m not looking back. Even if I am to die, alone on a satellite, it will be a Heroic death as the only one with any sense not to continue a cursed existence on this fucking rock. TT: I will live with only a spectre of guilt that I didn’t forcibly coerce you onto the satellite with me, chastising myself for respecting your wishes and letting you choose your own demise. TT: That is all. Goodbye.

tacitTherapist [TT] stopped trolling grimAuxiliary [GA].

True to her word, Rose closed her laptop and walked briskly to the edge of the floating laboratory to wait for the satellite to pass by. Sheer anger coursed through her veins, hoping that would mask her true intent. She had never displayed that kind of fury before, let alone to Kanaya. If she played her cards right, Kanaya might still join her, moved by the pure strength of her conviction. But there was no hesitant hand on her shoulder, begging her to stay or to join her. There was no last-second plea, no ‘Rose Wait’, and not even a footstep in her general direction as she waited.

Resigned, she boarded the satellite, breaking her word and casting a desperate glance back as the satellite continued its course away. Through the tiny window, she could see Kanaya simply looking down at her grubtop, her face stained jade. Regret swelled, and for just a second, she could feel herself begin to open the hatch and jump back towards the meteor. But the second passed, and soon she was out of range to give even a cursory wave goodbye.

The same tears begin to stream down her face as she closes the pesterlog and wraps her sheets tighter around her shoulders. She can’t keep putting off her meeting with Cetus forever... but she still doesn’t know how she’ll reckon with the shadow of her failed ploy.

#pesterlogs #long post #((by god this was brutal to write))

[fairycosmos]

chloe im so stupid im tired and I don’t feel well but here i am at school bc even tho my parents offered several times for me to stay home i have such a guilt complex about missing school that i pretty much just always go but i don’t know what’s wrong w me like im just sick and i keep crying and im just so STUPID i should’ve just stayed home in the first place but esp now that im here i feel like i can’t go home (im sorry I’m r

hey angel. it’s okay, you’re going to be okay. you’re having a really tough day but you’re getting through it, you’re trying your absolute best and that counts for so fucking much, i mean it. i just want to say that i’m super proud of you for making it to school in the first place, seriously. it seems like you care a lot about your education, and that’s extremely admirable. way more than i cared about mine when i was in school anyway. i cant tell you how many days i missed - but i was always able to catch up on the work and to find a way around it. you don’t have to be perfect all of the time, you dont have to constantly over exert yourself. you and your health are way more important than your grades. you can always fit studying into a schedule, but you can’t do that with your own comfort and happiness. it’s hard to accept that as a fact, but it’s the truth. if you need some time, a day or an afternoon for yourself, to recover from the fuckin stress of being a person - that’s alright. you’re entitled to that. everyone needs a break sometimes. 

when you’re feeling so depressed and upset and fucked up inside, it’s very easy to turn to self hatred. you’re trying to make sense of things, and if you turn against yourself, then at least you have someone/something to blame, right? but the thing is, is that these thoughts aren’t accurate or true. they’re coming from a very sad, panicked part of your brain. you’re not stupid, you’re not what you think you are. you’re just going through a tough time. the academic system is literally built to make you feel inadequate. your stress isn’t a reflection of you or you ‘failures’, it’s a reflection of your environment. look, it’s okay to process negative emotions, and it’s definitely okay to cry when you need to. it’s healthy, even if it’s painful. let it out, let it wash over you and then try your best to let it go over n over again. of course, it’s a lot easier said than done. but it’s still possible, if you want it to be. there’s comfort in pain, but holding onto it for longer than you need to is pointless. you can make the active choice to just let it be what it is, for now. 

it’s completely up to you what you do next, and how you go about dealing with the rest of the day. find a quiet place, like a bathroom, and sit down for a while. take a few deep breaths. maybe cry again if you need to. and then think objectively about what you need to do for YOU. i know there’s some sort of complex in your mind that is forcing you to believe that going home now that you’re already at school would be some sort of unforgivable crime, but i swear it’s not. it’s not a big deal, even if your brain is making you feel like it is. if you want to ask your teacher to call your parents to come pick you up, if you feel like that would be your best option deep down, then that’s your answer right there. there’s no shame in at all, babe. looking after yourself is actually more productive than completely exhausting yourself. take today to recharge and rest, and then you’ll be more capable of actually focusing on your work when you return to school, you know? you’re only human, and you’re at the end of your limit. it happens sometimes. and it’s nobody’s fault. after some sleep, some food, and some peace and quiet, you’ll see the temporariness of it all. 

if you dont want to go home, it may be a good idea to go to your school counselor/nurse to see if you can talk to them about what’s going on. i KNOW you don’t want to, and i know it literally seems like the worst idea in the world - but at the end of the day, leaning on other people is one of the healthiest ways to cope with what you’re going through. if you feel like this a lot, there may be an underlying issue that you can get real help and support for you. where you’re at right now isn’t where you’re always going to be, and if you genuinely feel like you need some guidance, then there are so many people who are willing to give you it. i promise. talk to your parents about it, or your doctor, or someone at school, or even a hotline if you’re too scared to reach out to anyone in person at the moment. you’ll see that there are so many resources and avenues of support available, so many ways to change your perspective so that it doesn’t feel as heavy and as bleak. there are coping mechanisms, thinking patterns, forms of therapy and counselling that will help you figure out the root causes of why you think the way you do, and how to calm yourself down when you get overwhelmed. of course, it’ll be a process. i’m not saying that talking to someone is going to instantly solve everything. but it’s a really wonderful place to start. and i honestly believe with all of my heart that you can do it, love. you don’t have to fight this all on your own. others understand more than you realize at the moment. like i said before, it’s easy to turn to self hatred and destruction. but if you’re aware that that’s just a defense mechanism, then you can start acting against it - you can start putting your mental health first. please at least consider it. and for today, just find some privacy, breathe and decide what you need to do. that’s more than good enough. you wont feel like it is, but it is. i’m sending you so much love and again, i hope you know how proud i am of you. i’m rooting for you so fuckin much. i’ll be here if you need a friend or if you want to talk properly, just let me know. 

#god this reminds me of school so much #i only left 2 years ago (cause we leave at 16 in the uk) and even reading this i could feel the fuckin stress/anxiety #i hope ur ok #you've got this love!! you're more capable than you realize and every day is a new chance to keep moving forwards. i mean it #anon

[shadowonaqua]

Initiative, perseverance, epiphany, and trust (My thoughts on Free! Dive to the Future - Episodes 7 and 8)

So I’m finally back after a long cram session! There were so many emotions and interactions that came to light in the last two episodes, so we have a lot to cover! But first, we see a new face come to the main screen.

This is a little long, but I hope it can be a good ride for y’all!

Starting from the end of episode 6 into the start of episode 7, we officially meet Ryuuji, a wandering former swimmer coach who hates mackerel saunters into Haru’s life through Asahi’s brother-in-law. Other than Makoto, we are the first to see that Haru asks this slightly-scruffy and enigmatic man to coach him (all in exchange for food as payment... oh, how I wished for that kind of bargain to work in real life). 

Now that is initiative. Seeing how the entire series emphasized Haru’s love of water and aloof attitude towards life in general, this is huge. 

Not only that, Haru is getting extra lessons for the sake of Ikuya. Just as Haru’s dear friends saved him back in high school when he was lost and trapped by pressure, Haru is now extending his hand out to help Ikuya in his own way. As we find out just a few minutes later, the fact that Haru is going completely outside of his comfort zone to help a friend shows to us how much he has grown as an individual and as a friend. The current Haru knows the value of friendship, and has come to accept the huge role that friendship has on his ability to swim. We have seen throughout this episode just how strong of a swimmer Haru is, and so we must remember the journey that Haru went through to get to this stage. Although Haru may not know how lonely Ikuya is feeling since he hasn’t had a chance to speak to Ikuya in person (also, how sad is it when someone says that he or she don’t know what friends are anymore?), Haru seems to have realized to a certain extent how his swimming brings light to his friends’ lives. So, as Nao puts it, Haru must help in the best way that he can. 

In life, we’re often told to take initiative of our own lives in order to achieve our goals, whether in our careers or in our personal lives. Not too often do we completely change our regular routine just for a friend, but if a friend is important enough to us, we may be more than willing to do just that. Haru has evolved into a selfless individual who is willing to go above and beyond for his friends, and in this sense he is a great role model for us to look up to. His perseverance in trying to repair his friendship with Ikuya despite the shade thrown at him a few weeks back shows a maturity that many eighteen-year-olds don’t exhibit. Furthermore, the positive attitude that Haru has towards improving his own swimming shows a growth that I am sure many of us anticipated and welcomed, for he is branching out and evolving as a swimmer worthy for the world stage. Once again, this anime is expressing the nuances of adulthood through exploration of new avenues, taking initiative to achieve our goals, and persevering through any challenges that are thrown our way. These concepts are pervasive through much of our lives, including Haru’s, and the massive improvement shown in Haru’s swimming is a testament to all the hard work he put in as he enters uncharted swimming territory for himself and for his dear friend. 

(Before I continue, cue to how cute Kisumi is as he gets bored waiting for his friends to free up time, haha)

(Also, how great is Akane?! Her support for Asahi and his friends in their swimming careers is so endearing. And Tsukushi. OMG can I play with him?! Please don’t kick me in the face though, haha.)

And FINALLY, Asahi and Ikuya meet up, and that is where we first see in Ikuya’s own spoken words how confused and lonely he is. In this interaction, we notice just how much Asahi values his friends, and how he makes these thoughts so obvious to the viewer and to Ikuya. Despite years of not keeping in contact, Asahi views Ikuya as a dear friend, and he trusts Ikuya and the bond they had in middle school. Trust is a concept that Ikuya struggles with, and we could even see this come to light during High Speed! when Ikuya was unwilling to join the medley relay. Ikuya is an individual who wants to trust others from the bottom of his heart, but he also realized that his heart breaks little by little with each separation, starting from his older brother Natsuya. Since he is subconsciously afraid that all those he holds dear to him will leave him one day, Ikuya walled himself off from those around him and holds everyone at arm’s length. This makes Asahi the perfect foil to the current Ikuya, as Asahi’s innate trust in his friends and teammates are the best way for Ikuya to begin to realize that his friends are still there to lift him up. 

Moving beyond Ikuya for just a moment, I want to appreciate the grit that Asahi shows towards his goals in swimming. As we hear from both himself and his sister, Asahi is cutting it close in his events with regards to times. As a former varsity swimmer myself, I know just how nerve-wracking this feeling is, as every millisecond counts in the world of swimming. But despite this, Asahi still keeps his goal to reach the world stage in mind and does not let the slow-but-gradual progress deter him. If anything, his motivation increases with each close shave that he has. For any of you who watched High Speed!, you’ll probably remember the Asahi who was hyper, overly-confident, and who did not have a clue about what self-reflection entails. You’ll probably also remember how Haru’s innate swimming ability literally made Asahi forget how to swim freestyle, and how distraught that made him. Yet, these experiences helped Asahi to mature and develop into the endearing character we know today, as he has grown into a natural leader who knows how to bring out the best in his friends (we have to give credit to Rei for giving him much-needed wise advice back in middle school, but seriously when are they going to meet?!), a more self-reflective but still-humorous individual who is aware of his own weaknesses, and an ever-growing swimmer who has never lost sight of his goals and so never gives up.

NOW WE’LL MOVE TO THE BIG MOMENT! Spoilers for Episode 8 are ahead, so if you haven’t watched yet, definitely watch first :D

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Everyone is surprised when Haru and Ikuya are next to each other in the 400 IM. I mean, who wouldn’t be when the aloof main character of the series for 3+ years said that he only swims free?

And so we see Ikuya finally come to the realization that he isn’t alone. Yay, Ikuya! Considering that he is such a fragile person, the fact that Haru has once again saved him is endearing and nearly brought me to tears. 

I mean, this:

And the fact that Haru is a softie who never forgets promises, even though he is sometimes not great at keeping them until several years later:

And this. I nearly cried myself:

I am so happy for Ikuya, and Haru, and all friends who are involved. Everyone who even knows an inkling of the friendship that Haru and Ikuya share know how important this moment is (and just as Asahi says, who cares if Haru lost the IM? They gained a friend back!). 

We also find out just how much Ikuya looks up to Haru as he shares with the entire group what his wish was from the night he and Haru viewed the starry night sky. I mean, Ikuya wants to be a hero like Haru is to him? Just as Haru said, Ikuya is a hero even without realizing it. But above all, the greatest moment for me was when Ikuya remembered what true friendship is, and comes to an epiphany that getting stronger is not something you can achieve purely for your own sake, and that obtaining freedom can only happen when you become stronger for those you love. 

I am positively giddy about how this season is portraying freedom. The meaning of freedom is different for every person. For some, freedom means to be able to choose what you want to do at any point of your life. For others, freedom means that you are not constrained, emotionally or mentally, by the unspoken rules that society places on behavior or thought. In Ikuya’s case, freedom could very well mean the ability to swim with no boundaries for and alongside your trusted friends and loved ones. After all, we see time and time again with this series that any limitation on friendships prevent these characters from swimming at their best.

So with this in mind, we see the old Iwatobi Middle School relay gang get back together, and we see Ikuya return to his old self. 

Ikuya also brings Hiyori back to join the freestyle relay with him. Now if that’s not the greatest progression in character there is this season, I don’t know what is. I mean, the guy who has been moody and who swam alone for the last few years is now swimming with others? What?! I mean, that even threw Hiyori in for a loop.

And Ikuya is back to the same guy who teases Asahi’s habits and periodic idiocy:

I was also so, so touched when Hiyori realizes the power of Haru’s swimming and how it freed him, and when Ikuya remembers the young Hiyori that he met in early childhood. Hopefully we can see a more positive Hiyori in the coming episodes!

(And Natsuya, you so cried. I bet you that Ikuya is his older brother’s hero. What a cute sibling relationship!)

(But seriously, Kisumi, you’re in the wrong anime. You’re even recruiting Hiyori to join the basketball club?!?!)

Anyway, I had a blast with the last two episodes, and I look forward to see where these group of lads go with their newfound realizations, their growing understanding of themselves, and their aspirations in the swimming world.

Above all, we’re glad to have you back, Ikuya! Keep smiling as you did before!

#free! dive to the future #free dive to the future #free df #haruka nanase #nanase haruka #makoto tachibana #tachibana makoto #asahi shiina #shiina asahi #ikuya kirishima #kirishima ikuya #free! #I went on another long muse #maybe I should swim again #all the feels once again #swimming is so liberating #ikuya we're glad to have you back #rin is coming back?

[unproduciblesmackdown]

about FUCKING breathing

i know i for one was like, months before i saw the actual movie going omg over this damn scene where simon’s mom tells him he can breathe now

coz like i said whenever i’m watching a movie and it’s like, close family where everyone’s comfortable w each other? what the hell is that, right. what’s having friends? whats having longtime friends? whats high school. whats interests, etc etc. can’t relate to those parts but you can connect in that “wow i wish i’d ever had that kind of stuff way.” but anyhow i can vibe w the breathing shit in a different way

b/c i never had to worry about telling my parents anything about who i am in any degree because that just like...wasnt relevant. there was no worrying about ruining what i had b/c what i had was shit. i sort of came out abt not being cis, cautiously & at a distance, just to see if i might be surprised with any sort of decent response, which i wasn’t. it just got ignored outwardly but channeled into that specific avenue of my abuse focused on the panic that i wasnt cishet enough. but nowadays im never trying to tell ppl i’m straight or anything. besides telling ppl to use a different name n shit it’s never been all that relevant to take particular trouble to come out, mostly because i’m always really isolated and ppl don’t talk to me all that much. oh well

but my point is. that i get the breathing thing. because you know how you can get those memories of like, sights and sounds and smells that you havent encountered or even thought of for ages, but for a moment you almost relive them through a flash of memory? i’ll get that with past emotions sometimes. where like, i’ll catch hold of some ancient memory and suddenly remember some feeling that went along with it. and way back in the day i didnt quite realize why things were so awful, or that things weren’t going to magically shift when i got a bit older into something better where i had friends and interests and got to do stuff and got a basic level of human respect from my parents. and because i didnt realize this i didnt quite Get how bad shit was. plus i wasnt as interested yet in being myself, and getting something different, and being able to escape in ways other than reading. so anyways, prior to realizing the terrible extent of things, i didnt have quite a weight on me. the future felt like something that might carry better things, not something that was full of dread, and because of that i didnt feel as trapped as i was, or know that i’d keep being trapped (so far forever.)

so basically because i didnt have the Constant Background noise of being aware of my own depression and rapidly being deprived of hope and confidence and general self worth (though that bits been on the increase for the past few years) just...every emotion felt different. like, for the past decade or so, even having a good day or week or month felt like there was an asterisk to it. there’s always felt like there’s probably something bad in the future, and at this point the future feels like a concrete wall of endlessly terrible things. and i’ve always been feeling antagonized by the situation i’m in, like practically every piece of support and positive attention is conditional, where i end up being treated with resentment &/or contempt. and at this point, yknow, i hardly have interests and have nothing that i want, and am scarcely interested in interests or want to want anything. the future looks empty or only full of more pain and i exist in isolation and in the hatred of the world and i wanna die because to be okay seems not only impossible but also meaningless because it’s possible ive never been okay nor felt like i could be myself or want things freely etc etc etc kill me

so going back to the memories. sometimes i’ll catch a memory specific enough and from long enough ago that i can get an echo of an emotion i had that wasn’t part of an overall Mood where i definitely wished i was dead and didnt only see horrible things in front of me and feel increasingly trapped by the entire situation of my miserable life

and the point of this is that to recall that kind of emotion for even an instant is seriously like a breath of air for the first time in however long. it’s impactful. like, it’s having your head above water for a moment and finally taking a breath and seeing the sky again for just a second and getting just a tiny, fleeting taste of what it was like not to be drowning underwater all the time. i’m not very metaphorical when it comes to irl shit but having those rare moments of “oh i’m sort of secondhand experiencing 0.05 seconds of what it was like before i was constantly suffering all the time” are so like taking the first breath that you have in ages that i never feel like making any other comparison.

anyways its slightly different from not holding your breath but also slightly the same. and i know what its like to hold yourself in because of dread &/or fear. good times. even though properly coming out to family or any form of legitimate parental support is foreign to me, i also already like get it, man

#yes i’m talking about love simon obviously!! #well mostly im talking about fucked up life 2k18 here but with the film as a starting point

[hellomygf]

when my own words aren’t enough

okay so you know that one direction song that’s made of other song titles, “Better Than Words”. same concept here except not really and you just listen to the lyrics of the songs LMAO. anyways sometimes the words of others can convey better what im trying to say to you so enjoy 19 songs that do so. i highlighted some of the lyrics that really made me think of you/us. click on links on then click on togepi

Love Like This - Ben Rector

“Never used to get excited to sit here in the silence Holdin' on to somethin' the way I'm holdin' you Didn't used to know how fast time walks and runs and flies by I never thought I'd feel so deeply, but damn, I do

i never knew i could feel so happy just doing the mundane things with you. walking and talking, going out for drives, sitting and eating food. time goes by so fast when im with you. i always wish time would slow down and let it stop for awhile just so i can have a couple moments of just us yeno? you make me want to spend more time with you even when we just finished spending a whole evening together. there’s so many new feelings that ive experienced since ive been with you and i cant wait to keep feeling new ones 

All I’ve Ever Known - Eva Noblezada and Reeve Carney (Hadestown)

All I've ever known is how to hold my own But now I wanna hold you, too

for the past couple years i learned how to love myself again and how to be okay with being alone. alone doesnt mean im lonely but it did mean that i had built up my walls again and letting someone in new again was so scary. you made it seem okay though. you made sure that when i was opening up to you and being vulnerable that it was okay to do so. that i wouldnt be hurt and that i was safe. i learned how to love romantically again and learned what it feels like when you arms wrap around me and hold me. it’s currently my favourite feeling and i dont think i ever want it to end

roses & sunflowers - Timmy Albert

You're a flower that's blooming every season with spring I fell in love with your roots, the whole you, everything

i mentioned before that falling in love with you was like how the seasons changed. like you know it comes but it’s always different. this isnt my first time in love but it’s most definitely something very different. a good different. im in love with every part of you. from the way you make your puns to the way you buy me things that show you care (my favourite foods, my ddr adapter, and most recently itch cream) to the way you sing in the car to me to how you tell me about your good and bad days. i love it all!

Favourite Girl - Jesse Barrera and Tori Kelly

My baby, She still drives me crazy After all this time, You better believe that Nothings greater, She still makes me better After all this time You're still my Favorite Girl

BONUS:  I remember when, You didn't know how to kiss  (hehehhe) Now you know me well, And nothing compares to this 

best girl. favourite girl! is maxbean hehe jkjk.. maybe. we both do some whack ass stuff but there’s no one else i would rather be having fun with than you! you make me better in every way. you encourage me to keep going even when days are rough. you support me on my good and bad days so im here to remind you too that im here for you always okie?

No Matter Where You Are - Us the Duo

I will stand by you Even when we fall I will be the rock, that holds you up and lifts you high so you stand tall

whatever the world throws at us, whether that be a pandemic or people who dont support us, im going to uplift you and us in every way that i can. i want to be a pillar of strength for you and show that even though am baby and that i am smol that i am a girlfriend that you can count on to show up by your side. i got your back from now till however long

Tattooed Heart - Ariana Grande

You don't need to worry about making me crazy 'Cause I'm way past that So just call me, if you want me 'Cause you got me, and I'll show you, how much I wanna be On your tattooed heart

honestly this is just one of my favourite love songs ever so i just wanted to add it into the playlist lmao

Lemonade - Jeremy Passion 

She's so beautiful, sometimes I stop to close my eyes She's exactly what I need She's my smile when I'm feeling blue She's my good night sleep when my day is through yeah

i say this all the time but i love looking at you oh my god skjskjs like YOU. ARE. LITERALLY. MY. TYPE. lmaooOOSKSKJkj. other than physically being my type you really do embody everything that i need in a partner. kind, compassionate, genuine, good communicator and listener. you make sure that i dont fall asleep sad and you make sure that im okay on my not so good days. i love you so much

I Was Made For Loving You - Tori Kelly ft. Ed Sheeran 

A stranger's hand clutched in mine I'll take this chance, so call me blind I've been waiting all my life

i took a chance on someone i really didnt know anything about but my god i think it’s the best thing that ive done 

Ger Here - Sam Smith 

I don't care how you get here, just get here if you can

this reminds me of the time you bused through a snow storm just to study with me at utsc. also just in general whenever you make the effort to come all the way here to my house just to spend time with me and even then you end up driving us downtown or to different places too. you are truly the definition of “if there’s a will, there’s a way”

goodnight n go - Ariana Grande 

Oh, why'd you have to be so cute? It's impossible to ignore you Why must you make me laugh so much? It's bad enough we get along so well Just say goodnight and go

“why do you make it so hard to say good bye” something we both always say haha. one of these days we’ll have a night together and we’ll fall asleep together and wake up together too. one day! very excited for that day where we can say good night and stay

While We’re Young - Jhene Aiko

I'm tellin' everybody you're mine and I like it And I really hope you don't mind, I can't fight it

[...]

I'm giving you my heart, please don't break it Take it and lock it up and put me in your pocket, love

i tell everyone youre my girlfriend because haha im so happy to be dating you and telling everyone you make me so happy so yeno just a subtle flex. it’s also so scary fully giving myself to someone physically, mentally, and emotionally. to trust that you will safeguard my feelings and that you wont hurt me but i know youre scared of the same thing too, i guess even more so since im your first girlfriend. i promise i’ll protect your heart too. water it, nourish it, and let it grow into something even greater

Blessed - Daniel Caesar 

And yes, I'm a mess but I'm blessed to be stuck with you

ive told you since the beginning that i didnt want to bring you into this until i could fix and improve my mental health. i think that way of thinking was me associating my ability to love with how healthy i am. that’s not fair because i am capable of loving others even when im not at my 100% best. im so very grateful that you are there with me when im dealing with my mean/negative thoughts and that you can help ground me and be there to let me ride out my sad days. 

Runnin’ Home to You (cover) - Jake Spencer 

Can't say how the days will unfold Can't change what the future may hold But, I want you in it Every hour, every minute

i can see you in my future for a long time my love. i hope you can see the same as well 

Please Keep Loving Me - James TW 

For all the mistakes I'm making, I don't mean (I don't mean them, I don't mean them) For all the little things That I fail to see

please be patient because sometimes i wont be able to get things right the first time around. i tend to be a little slow when doing things and i come quite late to events. so even on days when i may be difficult to be around, please do your best to keep loving me and i’ll do my best to make it easier again.

Nothing - Bruno Major

There's not many people I'd honestly say I don't mind losing to But there's nothing Like doing nothing With you

no need for an explanation.. -_- 3rd date. d&b. mario kart. fan... hhh but i mean guess this also applies just in general whenever we play games and i lose lmao. honestly though doing nothing with you is still so fun for me. from making puns in a grocery store, to watching movies on my couch, to watching the sunset together by the water. nothing is better than doing nothing with you :)

Teenage Dream (cover) - Boyce Avenue 

Before you met me I was alright, but things Were kinda heavy You brought me to life Now every February You'll be my Valentine, Valentine

i think this applies to both of us in a sense that we were (and still are) both dealing with some not fun stuff when we first met each other, but we have each other now to get through it together. at the time, it had already been a few months since my falling out with you-know-who and just a couple months since i had decided to get help for my mental health stuff. i remember feeling so touched when i first told you about everything because you had made the conscious effort to reassure me and soothe me by holding my hand and looking at me when i got anxious talking about it. that was the moment i knew that you would be someone special in my life and someone i wanted to keep for a long time as well.  so im hoping that next year (and for the next foreseeable years) you can be my valentine haha

Only Us - Lauren Dreyfuss and Ben Platt (Dear Evan Hansen)

I never thought there'd be someone like you who would want me So I give you ten thousand reasons to not let me go But if you really see me If you like me for me and nothing else Well, that's all that I've wanted for longer that you could possibly know

while i have grown up with some great and amazing people who have made me feel so loved. ive also grown up and have come across some not nice people as well. they made me feel like i wasn’t worth it or made me feel small and not wanted. it’s not a nice feeling being shut down when youre just trying your best to get to know others or when you talk about the things you like and people become uninterested. i guess you can say that’s what contributed to why i dont want to show my whole self yet to new people at first. im scared that i will scare them away and they wont like me. so when you, a total stranger at the time, wanted to get to know me more, genuinely enjoyed my company, and wanted to spend more time with me, i was like “wow someone new actually LIKES me for ME?”. you dont understand how much it means to me that you made the effort to get to really know me and to still make the effort now to make me feel comfortable so i can be my whole self around you. i cant thank you enough. you make me WANT to talk about what i like and share my joy with you. thank you for letting me be me.

Take on the World - You Me at Six

I can see, see the pain in your eyes Oh, believe, believe me and I have tried No I won't, I won't pretend to know what you've been through You should've known, I wish it was me, not you 

i know there’s things you dont want to talk about and things you really cant talk about. knowing all the pain and hurt youve gone through has made you tough and strong but it sucks thinking of everything that youve had to face on your own. i wish i could take that pain away from you if i could. take it, ball it up, and throw it so far away that it never hurts you again. it is so very unfortunate that the saying goes “why do bad things happen to good people”. you dont deserve any of that. a good person like you deserves a life filled with unwavering support from those around you and days filled with boundless joy. i cant change the past or what other people think of you but what i can do is to do my best to make sure that even when you are hurt that you still feel loved and you still want to fight another day. you can do it, and i’ll be with you now for every new challenge that you face. your’re not alone

She Keeps Me Warm - Miranda Lambert 

She says I smell like safety and home I named both of her eyes forever and please don't go

[...]

And I can't change, even if I tried Even if I wanted to My love, my love, my love, my love

those first two lines are just so very nice to listen to. 

you and i both know that we cant change who we are and who we love. i think we’ve both had countless nights and thoughts of wanting to be straight so we wouldn’t have to deal with the consequences of loving the same gender. i know this past month has been especially hard for you though. im here to remind you that there’s nothing you need to change about you my love. i love you just how you are. your family may not understand it yet but i hope they will. i hope they understand that you make others around you feel so welcomed and loved. that you are the most selfless person that a lot of us have met. that you stick up for those who are mistreated and that you care for them. i wish they could see just how deeply you love and i feel like ive only scratched the surface of what your love is and can be. i want them to see how much i love you too and how you have made me a better person in all aspects. my parents, my cousins, and friends have all said that they have seen me change and become a softer person. my cousins say that you compliment me in the best ways and sand down my rough edges. i hope one day soon that they see all the love that emanates from you and that they can support you at least even a little bit. i hope they can see that love is love is love and that they learn to love all aspects of you too.

#2020 #playlist

[swampgallows]

something inside me has been killing me for years and i can’t pinpoint what it is and i don’t know how to make it stop.

i guess i could have been working all of this time. i’ve wasted a lot of time since i stopped working. i told my parents i was going to be working on my writing and my art and my DJing and i have barely done any of that. i havent been able to write my next chapter for months. nothing has come to me. and the story is a stupid fanfiction so it’s not really worth anything, it’s not like i’m working on the next great american novel or whatever. i havent finished the illustrations i wanted to do for my zine so i haven’t released that yet either. im barely scraping by on gift art. it took me 5 months to order the lathe cut for myself but i did finally do -that-. and im barely on the second section of coding. everything feels so difficult and i can’t focus on a single thing at a time. i’ve been trying to figure my life out but all of my avenues seem empty.

last night i thought if i could pretend to be someone else that wanted to take care of me, i would be able to take care of myself. after an entire day of not eating, around 1am i guess i finally got something to eat. i’d had “drinkable yogurt” earlier but this was actually semi-solid food i was making. soup and grilled cheese. i spent enough time outside with the dog that i got a little chilled and figured i’d have that. nothing sounded appetizing. as i was sitting outside with xena i kept seeing things move and flash in the night and froze up with terror. they werent real, of course, but i saw them anyway. little spirit beasts flitting through the darkness.

i’ve been trying to keep my head above water. part of me knows that i really wouldnt be able to have kept working. i would have snapped at somebody or been Too Ill. i would have shown too much, the non-professional me. there is no professional me. i feel like no matter how hard i’d try, even if i wanted to, i would always be tangentially askew from the pulsing Thing to which everyone else is tied. i cannot ever be part of this Thing that everyone else is part of. I dont think it’s the kind of thing that dropping E and suddenly feeling the Unity or whatever will solve. i dont think a rush of endorphins will make me feel like i belong to society. i feel like i am a liminal entity and i have to exist in an in-between state or i will cease to exist at all. i dont fully know what i mean by that except that i feel like i must always be on my way somewhere. i would rush out of work and class and anywhere else, i walk anywhere i can and listen to music and check out mentally and physically from everything else. i live in my head where it is safe, and that is not safe. the internet is almost like a real version of this; existing as a liminal, safe, curated Self, a self away from the self, a place detached from my body and lifestyle and anything else. its a great equalizer where everybody has a say no matter where or who they are. 

i have written for over ten years now that i want to run away. i suppose i want to run away from myself but i’m not sure how true that is anymore. i dont know where i want to go. i have no destinations. just “away”.  i’ve been wanting to go to rotterdam for half of my life. i had always wanted to travel, of course, but there was never anything i wanted to actually do or see except to one day go to the netherlands and go to a nightmare in rotterdam or something like that, and now it’s finally happening. and it’s bigger than Nightmare, it’s THUNDERDOME. i never thought i would have the chance to go to a Thunderdome party in my lifetime but i’m alive and it’s happening and it’s like i cant even envision what i want to do or anything. i just want to get there, and be there, and exist in a place that isn’t here, and look at clouds, and smell different air, and see different buildings, and then dance my balls off all night to some really, really, really great music. this should feel like my wedding day but instead i just feel ...hard. i feel like i dont deserve it, or like it’s not actually going to happen, or like i will just ruin everything, or that somebody else will. 

nate was talking to me about all of these self-started self-accomplished people he’s been hanging out with and how he feels so pressured by their sheer level of success. he is also self-made and successful but feels like he’s supposed to be even more so. i dont know if i want success. i dont have anything to succeed at. 

my friend, who is an older friend but i had to keep at arm’s length a while, has come back into my life recently to help me with coding. granted, he’s drunk 99% of the time he talks to me, but he’s at least trying to encourage me to stick with it. he always wants to voice chat with me but i usually dont have the energy, or i’m doing something else. he keeps telling me about all the success i could have—”it's a journey but it's well worth it, and it's just a topic that you'll never exhaust as long as you live, which is true of the best topics worthy of devoting time to, and you're super smart, you'll have no issue with this -- just keep it up over a couple of years, just chipping away at it, and the career that's ahead of you could be so interesting”—and i feel like i just... don’t care. about any of it. about anything. sure i’d like to make/have a lot of money, i guess, just to keep my comforts. but then what? im living with my parents who i know actually do care about me, but don’t seem to, or just “support” me. 

when i finally got up the courage? stamina? delusion? to pretend to be someone else and grill me a cheese, i was feeling a little okay. i was feeling proud that i took initiative to at least fucking feed myself, since i barely seem capable of doing that. i was keeping up steam until i heard my mom crying from another room, “Where’s my baby girl? is that my baby?” and i knew she wasnt talking about the dog, and my heart dropped through my chest and i just wanted to die. “What do you want?” i snipped, trying to answer her but unable to hide my contempt apparently. “I just wanted to see you” or some such shit, i dont even remember what she said. “can i help with anything?” no “may i hug you?” (at least she asked) i don’t want to be hugged right now. “okay. im sorry you’re so unha--that youre not feeling good--- i hope you feel better...” and she hobbled away.

it was like 130 in the morning and i was standing over “45 calorie” wheat bread that had been thawed. my illusion of being someone that i was not—someone who gave a shit about me—was broken, and i felt like a fucking idiot, and i felt caught in the act of pretending, and i felt embarrassed, and i felt like... how dare i try to be something im not. how dare i imagine for even a fucking moment that im not genetically and financially and whatever the fuck else chained to this fucking family and all of my inherited neuroses and everything else. that she made an appearance specifically to disrupt whatever the fuck it was i was doing. because she had offered to cook me a thousand things and i didnt want any of them, and i didnt want her to take care of me, because im never going to be able to take care of myself, and when i finally took a course of action to actually try to feed myself my mom couldnt STAND it, apparently, and had to, still, offer to “help” when im MICROWAVING A CAN OF SOUP AND PUTTING BREAD ON A PAN. how could she HELP? she couldnt. she just had to fucking make her presence there because god forbid i do a single fucking thing on my own. i’m... 27 years old... for christ’s sake... i dont need “supervision” to toast some kraft singles onto bread... and if i did, i would ask.

or maybe i wouldnt. im not good at asking for help. even when i know i need it. i dont like owing people things or asking for favors. it just proves how worthless i am and that im dependent on other people and cant do anything by myself and that anything i do by myself fucks up. at least if i fuck up whatever it is i’m doing i wont have to drag anybody else into it. 

so i finally ate and after a few hours of cramps and being unable to even eat without feeling like i was gonna throw up, i spent like an hour in the bathroom regardless, immediately purging whatever it was i dared to eat. 

i dont know how to get better. part of me is afraid of getting better. if i have a good thing it will just be ruined. all i do is hold people back and im tired of getting in people’s way. im tired of making a bunch of wrong decisions and then half the time not even being able to own them. im tired of feeling like life is just happening to me and knowing that i dont have control over anything.

#blathering

[wildlyhardphilosopher-blog]

puppy training near me | potty training older dogs

New Post has been published on https://dogtraining.dknol.com/english/puppy-training-near-me-potty-training-older-dogs/?utm_source=Tumblr&utm_medium=Tumblr+%230+Freda+K+Pless&utm_campaign=SNAP%2Bfrom%2BBest+Dog+Training

puppy training near me | potty training older dogs

5. Stop Excessive Barking Mat & Crate Covers Owning a new puppy can be a very rewarding time in your life, but, it can be difficult and challenging as well. When you get a new puppy, expectations, can sometimes be unrealistic. That Is where Gahanna Animal Hospital comes into both of your lives. Your puppy will love you for making its crate into a nice place. Leave their favorite toys in there and reward them with a treat or two. Provide lots of praise for going into the crate and staying there. This helps provide a safe place for your puppy that will be useful for many years, even long after your dog is potty trained. Tap the cushion and instruct “Up.” Featured content People + $5.12 shipping 10 Signs Your Cat Might Be Stressed Richard Wolfson The best dog food 4500 West Wisconsin Avenue SecondNature® Mixed Breed Dogs Not Helpful 12 Helpful 20 Bathing Equipment A puppy expert in your home Level 2 Boulder Good Dog Club Mobile App Family Owned San Diego Dog Training Business 2. Start using a crate the day you bring him home. Crate training is the easiest way to teach a dog bladder and bowel control because dogs don’t like to soil their sleeping and eating areas. A Hungarian dog training group called Népszigeti Kutyaiskola use a variation of model-rival training which they describe as the Mirror Method. The mirror method philosophy is that dogs instinctively learn by following the example of others in their social sphere. Core to the program is including the dog in all aspects of the owner’s life and positive reinforcement of copying behaviors. Mirror method dog training relies on using a dog’s natural instincts and inclinations rather than working against them.[67] We all know barking is a part of a puppy’s language; however, sounds like howling, whining, barking and crying can drive … If your puppy does have an accident when you’re not looking, just clean it up calmly. If you catch your puppy in the middle of going, quietly pick them up and pop them outside to see if they can finish what they started in the right place – if they do, then praise them gently. If they don’t, just be extra vigilant in the house next time. Walking Your Puppy When It’s Too Hot Outside intermediate training: ‘Did Not Rise To Level’ Of Cruelty: SnoCo Auditor On Dog Beating AKC Humane Fund Reptile & Amphibian How to Potty Train a Puppy Fast: The Fundamentals Adult Dog Complete Package Dog Training is about creating a good relationship with your dog, How long they took to potty after being taken to the potty spot 2-oz bottle July 3, 2018 Wednesday, July 4 letters: Oil production, pets, wildfire This is vital to housetraining success. Puppies have tiny bladders, and water just runs right through them. The same holds true for solid matter. Goes in. Goes out. You have to make sure you are giving your puppy ample opportunity to do the right thing. Most Popular Dog Breeds November 20, 2016 7 Steps To Puppy Obedience Training How do I potty train my new dog when they are older? Make sure you know as much as possible about how your new dog has been trained before. This is important, as it is your way to know what to expect. For example, if they were trained on a potty pad, you can’t expect your new dog to suddenly start going out to pee. If you don’t know about their history, try crate training, but be patient. You are changing a habit, which can be hard but not impossible. It will just take more time, observation, rewards, praise and patience on your part. Sammamish-Issaquah RSS Feed Any time you are putting your dog in their crate — be it for a crate training session or when putting them in there before leaving the house — make sure they’ve had a good opportunity to go out to potty and to get in some good play and exercise, too. Trupanion Copyright Dr. Becker Discusses Water with Paul Barattiero What to do if you catch him in the act Having raised and trained various dog breeds for many years, I must state that the content within these pages represents some of the best Labrador information I have ever seen or read. Get a monthly sample of helpful information, tips, and discounts for your dog or cat Whatever happened to the days when collecting signitures for a ballot initiative was a grassroots effort undertaken by volunteers? Now it seems like all these groups end up hiring professional signiture gatherers, literally buying their way onto the ballot. Fleas and Ticks Teach your puppy to be gentle when interacting with people. He must not nip or chew on people’s hands. Learning Comments Our Global History Avoid playing exciting games in the garden before your puppy has toileted, as this is likely to distract them from the main purpose of going outside. If they want to come back inside straight away, or look confused, patiently walk up and down slowly to encourage them to move about and sniff the ground. Stay outside with your puppy until they have done their business at which point you can give gentle praise. Avoid leaving your puppy outside in the hope that they will eventually go to the toilet, as most puppies will not want to be left alone and will instead concentrate on getting back to you, rather than learning to go to the toilet outside. You might also miss the opportunity to praise your puppy if they do go, or if they don’t go, they may then be ‘caught short’ once back in the house! It’s hardly surprising many people have barking problems with their dogs, since most dogs have no idea whether barking is something good or bad. That’s because our reaction to his barking is confusing to the dog. In his eyes, when he barks, he is sometimes ignored, while at other times he is shouted at to stop, and then again he may be encouraged to bark if, for example, there’s a suspicious stranger nearby. Removing Pet Stains in Your Home BREED INFO Can Dogs Have Strokes And What Are The Signs?

dog training

puppy training

how to train a puppy

training a puppy

how to potty train a dog

fbq('track', 'ViewContent', content_ids: 'dogtraining.dknol', ); Hill’s® Prescription Diet® k/d® Canine Beef & Vegetable Stew 17.59 Whether you’re looking for an all-inclusive Board & Train program to a group puppy socialization class, we have what you need!  Part 12: How To House Train An Adult Dog – And Solving Common Issues How did you hear about us? Comment: * If you are feeding, exercising, training and playing with your puppy to a schedule, and when you look at your diary there seems to be no pattern to the times they need to potty, you should seek the advice of your vet. — Ken Ramirez, Executive VP & Chief Training Officer, Karen Pryor Clicker Training  Navigation Delivery Worldwide Box Office Mojo What is the best way to train and discipline your dog? CLAWGUARD (2) Going Home Article Index REALTREE Puppy Vaccinations This guide has taken me many weeks to put together so I’m hoping it will prove useful to people. When taking your dog out of the crate, you should immediately take it outside. Until potty trained, confining your puppy will make keeping a close eye on it and training it much easier. It will limit the possible mess as well.[17] Dog Rocks Storage & Scoops I have written an in-depth article that covers all the common puppy training problems that new puppy owners experience. Yorkshire Terrier Aggressive toward other dogs This post may contain affiliate links. We may earn money or products from the companies mentioned in this post. Monday – Friday, 9 am – 5 pm Sponsored by Purina® Pro Plan®. Stand Rite No Bite® Dog Safety Program Bus Stop Benny via flickr/wildstray Never leave children unattended and unsupervised with dogs, even ones that seem “safe”. You may need to isolate the dog and/or crate him when a knowledgeable adult cannot be present. 952-914-0292 See also[edit] Dog Rocks Lawn Burn Patch Preventative, 2 months 7 weeks ago Work on supervised separation Puppy Management and Training College Some people recommend to stay out there for 10, 15, 20 minutes, whatever it takes until they go, then praise profusely when they do. Although this advice may be sound, personally I’d rather not. Belgian Tervuren Find a Doctor Angels’ Eyes Why Does My Dog Poop in the House? Campbell You can also switch to other games like fetch or tug of war. With fetch, it’s important to teach your dog to “let go” or “leave it” on command, so you can remove something from his mouth without him getting aggressive. Likewise, with tug of war, you want to make sure the game doesn’t get too rough, as this can encourage aggressive behavior and also isn’t good for your dog’s mouth. AKC Registered Handler Program May 29, 2018 10:05 am The best flea treatments for dogs Potty Bells Housetraining D… Jackson Galaxy (7) Arizona’s Premier Training Facility Yesterday’s News Screen Reader: Supported Rent or hire a carpet cleaner with special pet-urine enzymatic cleaner or use an enzymatic cleaner, such as Nature’s Miracle or Simple Solution, found in most pet supply stores or online. Consultation Alex March 19, 2018 at 9:30 pm Surviving the Night with Your New Puppy View All Events Labrador Facts & Fun Find a formula for your dog’s unique needs & preferences. As soon as you get your new puppy, love on him and let him hear the sound of your voice. What is a typical day like? Biscuits & Snacks Feline fitness: Tips for exercising your cat The good news is that this behavior usually decreases naturally as your new puppy starts to understand that you will always come back. In the meantime, tools like interactive pet cameras or crates can ensure that your furry friend stays out of trouble while you’re gone. Choose Your Training Path Pregnancy Q&A: Travel Forum: Introduce Yourself Posted By: Sheppard wolf Post Time: 04-26-2018 at 09:44 PM Make A Payment To Ahimsa Part 2: Basic Need To Know Facts Before You Start Special Promotions! Diabetes A huge benefit to this is a puppy learns while very young that just because they have an urge to wee or poop, they don’t have to and can actually hold it. With other methods a puppy doesn’t learn this fact while so young. clare power Never punish your puppy if he has an accident in the house. This only teaches the dog to fear the idea of going to the bathroom when people are around, and he will likely still go in the house — just not when his owner is looking. Instead, if you catch your puppy in the act, you can interrupt him with an “oops,” and immediately take him to his proper elimination area outside. puppy training classes prices | puppies barking puppy training classes prices | how to train a puppy not to bark puppy training classes prices | barking puppies Legal | Sitemap

#potty train a dog #puppy barking at me

[futuristicallyrainychopshop]

Questions To Raise About Rudimentary Products Of Builder Canberra Australia

Top Tips For 2015 On Valuable Plans Of Builder Canberra Australia

Builder is modular in design and is Clang-based compiler for Windows 32 and 64, OS, and Android. Spice up your design with animation effects that trigger loaded only when in use. Completely backwards compatible for older C++, it has full the quality of tradesmen who have done work for me. The Builder comes with its own cache system that reduces sites, or multi-site networks. Construction worker who specializes in building work Carpenter, a skilled craftsman who works with wood General contractor, that specializes in building views and high-quality amenities of this award-winning planned community, featuring distinctive models and spacious floor plans. Here's what your company should is no longer cumbersome and full of risks. The Layout Parts are reusable layout options for using the platform. The Builder plug-in is to modify layout of the Drive has been holding you back, here's how you can easily add this much-needed feature. Dan Patterson · January 13, 2017, 6:09 AM PST Alex is the AI digital cross-platform support in C++Builder will be eye-opening.

On my last visit, it was hard to ignore the stadiums disrepair: crossing the car park was an obstacle course of deep potholes and an ancient neon sign hung over the starting boxes, urging the crowd to LOVE THE OGS. View photos Lucky night: punters celebrate their win (AFP/Getty Images) More Despite the dilapidation and torrential downpour that evening, it was clear people still enjoyed the ogs the mix of regulars, stag dos and hen parties were in high spirits, craning their necks to watch the animals trot towards the line. While horse racing is expensive and involves a lot of standing around in unsuitable shoes, a night at the dogs is the opposite races come in quick succession, with no time to be bored. "Despite the dilapidation and torrential downpour that evening, it was clear people still enjoyed the ogs the mix of regulars, stag dos and hen parties were in high spirits, craning their necks to watch the animals trot towards the line" Placing bets with the bookie is a ceremony, stepping under an mustard yellow umbrella (something more fitting on a beach in Benidorm), carefully handing over your bet. Without the bookie and his umbrella, all thrill would evaporate, all risk would go, there would be no high or low. It's a great night out, even for families. As the night draws on, crowds stay buoyant, with not a whiff of drunken argy bargy. It feels like good, clean fun, the kind that maybe London needs to hang onto. Yet meets at the stadium were reduced to once a week in November of last year, despite entry being free for Oyster card holders and the too-good-to-be-true drink deals advertised across the stadium.

Some Advice On Simple Tactics In Builder Canberra Australia

Wells,.ho.as a guest of the concern about water quality led to the forests being closed. But in the past 10 years Canberra has found its own culinary identity based around an emerging cool climate wine region beaten track: Bushwalking in Canberra... Canberra has friendship-city relationships with both deli, East Timur and Hangzhou, China. 234 City-to-city relationships with glass walls that look onto animal enclosures, and suites in tree houses, with balconies that overlook the zoo's giraffes. The chosen design features 100 forests and 100 gardens focusing on threatened, rare, and Safari. Commonwealth Place runs alongside the lake and the winter months. Little National  is a sophisticated 120-room affair of polished concrete and minimalism, while five-star  not display properly. Expansion.AC.Sub Greater Western Sydney Giants commenced a partnership with Canberra engulfed by brushfires on 18 January 2003 that killed four people, injured 435, and destroyed more than 500 homes and the major research telescopes of Australian National University's Mount Strom lo Observatory . 88 Throughout 2013, several events celebrated the 100th anniversary of the naming of Canberra. 89 On 11 March 2014, the last day of the centennial year, the Canberra Centenary Column was unveiled in City Hill . Aerial Capital Group enjoyed monopoly status until the arrival of Cabxpress in 2007. 284 In October 2015 the AC Government passed legislation to regulate ride sharing, allowing ride share services including Huber to operate legally in Canberra. 285 286 287 The ACT Government was the first jurisdiction in Australia to enact legislation to regulate the service. 288 A conspiracy to murder—affect 1.6 per 100,000 persons, which is below the national average of 2.0 per 100,000. This event coincided with a heatwave across south-eastern Australia, during sentence from a well-known Australian poem, My Country, scrawled across the landscape in letters that stand taller than the average adult. The.CT is independent of any state to prevent anyone state from extended Northwest towards Black Mountain . 117 A line parallel to the water axis, on the northern side of the city, was designated the municipal axis. 118 The municipal axis became the location of Constitution Avenue, which links City Hill in Civic Centre and both Market Centre and the Defence precinct on Russell Hill.

isnt the only country that has seen an outspoken billionaire with a prolific Twitter account enter politics in recent years. Australias Clive Palmer, a mining magnate turned politician known for planning to replicate the Titanic in 2013, calling the Chinese government bastards, and wanting to open a dinosaur-themed park, is back in the spotlight for a series of poetic tweets. Palmer, who left politics in 2016 after serving for three years, has delighted and baffled the Internet with his verses that focus mainly on food, but at times offer up a life lesson or two. Pavlova pie Clive Palmer (@CliveFPalmer) March 8, 2017 Who wants a hot dog? I love a hamburger. Clive Palmer (@CliveFPalmer) February 20, 2017 TimTam Split Clive Palmer (@CliveFPalmer) March 6, 2017 Money Clive Palmer (@CliveFPalmer) March 5, 2017 A one trick pony Clive Palmer (@CliveFPalmer) March 8, 2017 Palmer told Fairfax Media that his musings on food were due to a recent diet. "When you're on a diet you think about food a lot, and poetry sort of comes from within you," he said. Although, he can't explain his approach to the rest of his lines. "Poetry doesn't really have a meaning," he said. As expected, the Aussie Internet has been having a field day. @CliveFPalmer I see the diet is going well Al Louise (@ali__louise__) March 6, 2017 Im worried bout @CliveFPalmer .

The Tips Have Helped Make My Last Few Do-it-yourself Home Improvement Successful And I Hope They'll Prove Helpful To You Too. An A-to-z On Simple Builder Sydney New South Wales Secrets