#im crying bc im sick and they make me feel too much

[industrations]

🎶our house is a very very very fine house🎵

#remus lupin #sirius black #wolfstar #marauders #im crying bc im sick and they make me feel too much #i want to lay on the floor and have someone pet my hair too

[tragedykery]

I hate. complicated friendships

#I love her but also. #I feel like such a bad friend for complaining about her but she’s just so. incredibly inconsiderate #like we planned to hang out ish at 1 pm today. suddenly she texts me like ‘hey I’m coming around 14:30 instead’ #she knows I’m autistic too she knows how important having a schedule is for me and she pulls sth like that?? #maybe it’s the fact that she’s an only child but ​she just expects the world and everyone else to accommodate for her #one time we were on a school trip and I was nauseous and I mentioned that to her and she just. made it all about herself??? #like I get she’s got emetophobia but turning the conversation into a fifteen-minute-long rant about if I vomited to please not do it #anywhere she could see bc if I did she would cry and feel absolutely terrible for the rest of the day and etc etc etc #like bestie IM the one who’s sick here??? #and like 50% of our conversations are just her venting at me (even more if you count the ones over text) and it’s. I don’t mind it when it’s #a normal amoun but she just treats me like an object for her to vent at and I Understand there’s stuff she can’t tell her therapist/coach bc #he knows her parents and she’s afraid he’ll tell on her if she talks about gender stuff (she’s not out) and I’m the closest trans friend she #has so I’m the person who understands it the best but it’s just. SO much #(but the moment I vent for once I just feel like she. doesn’t listen and that she thinks I’m just being too sensitive) #and that’s definitely my fault too bc idk how to communicate when she makes me uncomfortable with stuff like that #and she’s autistic too and doesn’t understand hints at all so I’d need to just State it and that feels so incredibly mean but. #there’s more instances I’m not typing out but just. ugh. I love her I really do and I feel like such a child for complaining about her on #tumblr dot com and I know I’m at fault too for not communicating when she makes me uncomfortable I’m not pretending I’m not to blame at all #but she’s self-centred and inconsiderate and. ugh #vent #elli rambles

[identityquest]

ive been playing a lot of pokemon-like games lately to search for something new to fill the void of the desire to collect creatures... so many games show so much promise but there's always something holding them back. it's usually just like one thing and i cant get too mad bc a lot of them are either extremely inexpensive or outright free. but it sucks to be playing a game thats otherwise solid only for it to suck bc like, the writing is abysmal or the gameplay loop is miserable. the most egregious thing ive encountered in a lot of these games is the lack of a robust bestiary. like thats the main reason i played pokemon and stuck with it, when prof rowan asked me to research for him i took that seriously 😭 i want to know abt the animals please for the love of god give me a description, a habitat range some fun facts. please

#strato.txt #i got spoiled to gen IV dex w/ footprints and the height and weight scale and the cry remixer and form differences.. #when they took away footprints i sobbed cried and screamed. i was like WHERE ARE THEIR LITTLE PAWS.... #maybe its cause i associated footprints w/ that guy who gives you a ribbon if your friendship is maxed out #cause he reads how much ur pokemon love you by the way they leave footprints in the sand... sigh #anyways. the scale for showing u how much pokemon weighed was cool too. how it launched dawn/lucas if the pokemon was heavy enough #i just really. REALLY want to feel like a field researcher that was always so important to me as a kid. going out and learning and growing #the villainous team is just a roadblock. and obstacle in my path to learn and see the world #i feel like gamefreak has shifted from learning as a narrative to coming of age and saving the world as a narrative. im sick of it tbh #is that what kids want these days. when i was a kid i wanted to be an astronaut and a paleontologist #so many games are getting the 'whoa cool beast' thing down. theyre the tyrannosaurus lovers. they like the cool animal and its evolution #but theyre neglecting like... the nature part? the part where the animal clicks in with the world. where its part of the ecosystem #they know that trex is cool and huge but not that it lived in a subtropical climate dominated by angiosperms. #the pokemon co and gamefreak have gone to great lengths to make pokemon feel REAL #they exist in their environments and shape them and interact with each other. many prey on each other #pokemon inhabit certain regions of the world bc thats their /ecosystem/. theyre not just randomly placed... #oh my god. i have more to say but im stopping here. im stopping

[bl00dw1tch]

It is so fucking funny how someone telling me to do something is the fastest and easiest way to get me to want to Actively grind my life back to halt instead.

#horse.txt #vent // #its dumb. im being dumb let me be clear. this is about getting a fucking job. writing my resume. my mom told me i need to #'start getting serious' about it #and i do. i do. #im just. ghhhh i feel like im going to fucking explode. its so easy its so easy everybody has to do it i dont get to be fucking special #but knowing that never fucking Means anything i can know that like its tattooed to my eyelids and it doesn't change the fact that #i have no idea what the fuck to do #i have lists and lists and lists of advice and tips and help and links and i appreciate them bc at least now i have a foundation to jump off #but i still can't fucking get through them #i cant figure it out. its right there but the second i start to try i run into some roadblock and i start freaking the fuck out #and then i cant fucking go back to it bc by then ive spent an hour crying and im too tired to do anything but sit and cry some more #i hate the fucking options here. i hate the options everywhete. i dont want to fucking work dude im just. im not fucking there #but theres no other fucking option and people get so fucking mean when you try to say that bc im just being fucking lazy lazy lazy #i dont know. if i am im not sure i care that much anymore #im just tired of feeling so fucking miserable and useless but it's hard to ignore because i just amm!!!!! #the only thing i can do better than some people is draw and the idea of doing That for a job makes me feel sick to my stomach #man. i dont know. idk #sometimes i just have to catastrophize things to get it out of my system . iygiygi #ill be fine #just might be a tense Christmas apparently.

[wheresmulder]

Having a.. bad time

#lost my engagement ring lmao its a sign #my bffs mom is in critical condition #and i have to go to work tomorrow #and i cant sleep #bc i hate myself and i literally fuck everything up #and i still dont handle death in a way thats... acceptable #like im stuck in worst case scenario brain all the fucking time but when it comes to death i cant face it #i cant feel grief #i refuse to bc its too fucking much #im just laying here hating myself up for not being able to grieve for a woman who is still alive #and hating myself for even entertaining the idea that she migjt not make it #but also for not. crying #i want to cry #but if i let myself feel it ill never stop #but shes not gone so wtf is the point of this #also hating myself for not even realizing my ring was gone until the girl im flirting with pointed it out to me #probably about 5 hours after i lost it #i havent told him #i feel fuckk g sick #he's gonna realize anyway so why am i hiding it idfk #im such a fucking idiot #i wish he never gave me that fucking ring in the first place bc i feel like i lost part of me and thats rly fucking stupid on like #5 different levels #idk any more #its 11 11 make a wish

[pearlldiver]

rocking myself in a chair i should not be this stressed about spending money for a special occasion my life will not be ruined if i buy a nice dress for myself nothing is gonna spiral out of control if i indulge a little

#vent #i get so panicked when i have to spend for shit and partially its because of the thousands of times my dad has gone on about how stressed #he is about money w inflation n shit and how we need to save and that we waste too much n atp im just worried about money all the time #whenever i want to buy something and its not even like my familys in a position financially where we will go homeless with one wrong move #i just get so fucking nervous #n we have a dance coming up n my friends n i are talking abt outfits n theyre willing to spend so much and it makes me feel kind of sick #bcs i dont wanna look bad but also i dont wanna spend much n like. jesus #its not even like a big thing anyways but im making it into one #fucking spiraling im gonna cry

[sovaharbor]

my period came 5 days early and it's beating my fucking ass (giving an emetophobe all day on and off nausea)

#i literally went to bed and woke up nauseous like AUUUGGHHHHH #ik my stress is making it worse but honestly i feel so gross i'd cry if i wasnt dehydrated from shitting me brains out #my mom said she doesnt feel good either so im like terrified i have a stomach bug on top of my period or smthn but #im 90% sure it's Just my period. maybe 80%. idk. idk. trying to be normal and absolutely failing tho #like i wish i never heard my mom say she was sick to her stomach too bc im SO SCARED NOW RAAGGHHHH #i literally just. uhhghnfhfnfnnf idk. im gonna play more sims and try to chill. #summer's text tag #deleting later btw sorry to vent like Thjs on main. kinda embarrassing. very much apologies

[sexlapis]

Ho! I loooooooveeee your actor toji fics! Is it possible to get added to the taglist? Thank you ~

Also an idea: a bts scene of reader getting sick on set(perhaps even collapsing) due to fatigue and toji taking care of them- I feel like that'd be such a hit ship moment irl :D

thank you for liking my fics <3 you can be added to the tag list 🩵.

and omg yeah i love that idea of reader overworking themselves and toji looking after them :’). and yeah i didn’t make it a behind the scenes clip i made a short fic abt it bc i do not know when to stop.. like give me an idea and i will fly away w it like a bird liek..i don’t even think this is what you asked for srsly…i hope you don’t mind (but i’ll add it to my tojiyn headcanons hehe)

cw: actor toji x actress reader, hurt/comfort, angst to fluff, swearing, petnames (‘kid’, ik people don’t like this one but i think it’s so sweet & so toji :)), collapsing, mentions of skipping meals/not eating, poor sleeping habits, feelings of loneliness & inadequacy, crying, toji taking care of reader, i made this way more angsty than you asked sorry :(

wc: 2k+

you dragged yourself through the doors of the studio, immediately bombarded by directors, stylists, scrip writers and other cast members on your way to the dressing room, only fuelling your fatigue and stress.

sleep was a foreign concept at this point. five hours at most. so were healthy, filling meals - the last time you ate was yesterday at noon, and for breakfast today all you had was a cup of coffee, not helping your nervous, exhausted state.

admittedly, you were not doing very well. you felt that your acting was subpar and you felt lonely and isolated on set. while everyone went with their friends for a break or lunch, you sat by yourself in your dressing room, your only company being the silence.

sure, toji was also on set too, but he played a very minor role, so he wasn’t always there. and even when he was sometimes, he would hang out with the other crew members, which wasn’t a problem of course, but it did sting a little when he chose them over you.

you just felt so lonely, anxious and quite frankly upset at yourself and the circumstances you find yourself in.

there are a few knocks at your dressing room door and you weakly tell them to come in.

toji peeks is head in. “hey, kid. we start in five..” he takes a look at your weary face, dark eye bags prominent even through the makeup the stylists caked on and the frown on your lips and just knows something is wrong.

“are you ‘right?” he asks quietly, like you’re a deer who’s about to run away at the slightest of sounds.

“yes, i’m fine.” you lie, a voice in the back of your mind wishing he’d just ignore you like everyone else on this damn set does.

“‘you sure? ‘cause you don’t look-”

“i said im fine! just get out.” you snap, heart beating and breathing heavily at your own outburst.

fuck. you didn’t mean to say that.

but toji doesn’t look offended. he just nods and walks away footsteps fading as you put your head in your hands and sob.

so there you are, acting in front of the camera with your colleague in a scene where toji appears in too and you just seem off. everyone assumes it’s just not your day today and they’re not exactly wrong. you lines were slightly forced, tired and you were jittery and clearly apprehensive, like you didn’t even want to be here.

“cut!” the director calls out, more than annoyed with your behaviour. it was the sixth take and you’re really trying to make it believable, but it’s futile.

“this is the sixth take _____. this is ridiculous. get your act together. let’s take five.”

you look down at your shoes, face hot and chest thudding with embarrassment due to the director calling you out in front of everybody. tears well up in your eyes and you sigh, blinking them away as everyone starts talking again, walking away leaving you standing there like an idiot.

it all becomes too much for you. your empty stomach, oncoming headache, exhausted body, dry mouth, furrowed eyebrows, sweaty palms-

you let your script fall out of your hand as you stumble off the green screen, trying to get to your room before a hand is grabbing your arm. you turn around and it’s toji again.

“hey..” he leans down slightly to your height, scanning you over once. “you don’t look so good, _____-”

you shrug him off, vision becoming blurred with black static and limbs heavy and shaky. “i-i jus’ need to go. to my..uhm-” you stop, rubbing a hand down your face harshly. “i just-”

and then there is black.

౨ৎ

you come to and realise that you are laying on your dressing room couch, staring up at the ceiling. reaching up, you feel a wet, cool cloth on your head. you take it off. still fuzzy and body essentially lethargic, you try to sit up.

“hey, hey, hey.” toji whispers.

oh, toji’s here.

“take it easy.” he helps you sit up on the arm of the couch. he hands you a bottle of water and you drink it like a god.

“wait, what happened?” you ask, still confused and disoriented.

“you fuckin’ fainted that’s what,” he states bluntly. “scared the fuckin’ dogshit outta me.”

“oh.”

toji sits beside you on a chair, looking at you closely. you look down.

“the med team checked you out.” he tells you. “said you fainted, collapsed-whatever the fuck. ‘cos of stress and exhaustion. they even checked your blood sugar and said it was low as fuck.” he pauses. “not dangerously low,” he adds at the sight of your worried expression, “but.. low enough.”

you sigh, falling back on the couch. you think back to how the director shouted at you, how annoyed he was, and how humiliated you felt. tears start to form again and you cover your face with your hands, not wanting to cry in front of toji. you felt like you’ve had enough embarrassment for today.

toji leans forward. “what’s happening with you?”

the way he said it, so soft and concerned, makes the tears fall down and cause sobs to escape your mouth, hiccuped breaths falling from your mouth.

“hey, hey, hey..” toji coos. he reaches to you and makes you sit up again so he can take you into his arms. you let him, sobbing into his shoulder and sucking up all the comfort he gives you. toji’s big hand strokes your hair and the other caresses your back softly.

“shh, sh, sh…” he calms you down a little, you sobs turning into sniffles. he leans back and gives you space but his hands stay planted on your back. “tell toji what’s wrong.”

you hum sadly, looking down and gulping. “i’m..i’m tired. i wanna sleep..”

toji waits for you to continue. he can see you want to say more so he doesn’t hurry you along, he just rubs your back and nods to let you know you’re listening.

“i..” you take a breath, “i dunno what to do..i can’t do this fucking role.. i’m fucking tired half the fucking day and my so called colleagues don’t even like me!” you try to calm yourself down, taking another shaky breath. “and i just feel..lonely all the time..” you cry out the last few words, feeling another sob session coming up and toji pulls you close, letting you ruin his shirt with your tears as he rocks you back and forth in his arms.

“it’s okay, it’s okay..” he coos, resting his face in your hair.

you both stay like that for a few moments, you weeps dying down before toji talks.

“you can play this part, _____. ‘you have any idea how good your are, huh? you can act circles around half ‘these guys.”

you scoff, pulling your lips together. “i dunno about that..”

“‘m serious. _____, you can act, okay? ‘wouldn’t have made it this far if you couldn’t.”

“yeah but..this one’s hard..” you sigh, voice cracking but toji doesn’t let you start again.

“yeah, acting’s hard. but i can help you,” toji cups your wet face with his hands, wiping the tear streaks that paint you face, “we can all help you. the crew, your friends, that bitchass director. i’ll put a gun to everyone’s head to make them fuckin’ help you with this.”

you giggle at his seriousness and he huffs, relieved that you’re relaxing a little.

“they don’t hate you, y’know. everybody on set. the cast. they just think you’re a little shy and quiet. they don’t hate you, okay?” toji reassures you. you nod absentmindedly and he shakes your head from side to side to make you pay attention, making you smile, eyes crinkling even though they’re still tear stricken. “there she is..who the fuck could hate you, huh?”

“ugh, toji.” you roll your eyes, sniffling and rubbing your face. you pull away from him. “ugh..i just want my bed right now.”

“yeah..i know it ain’t my place but told the director that you’re taking a few days off. you need a break, kid.”

you didn’t even argue with him. you couldn’t.

“yeah, i do.” you agree.

suddenly, a loud rumble from your stomach erupts, it was like an earthquake.

toji laughs. “someone’s hungry.”

you groan. “‘m starving. haven’t eaten since yesterday.”

“we’re getting you something to eat.” he states, leaving no room for objections.

toji stands, holding his hand out for you to take. you do, his large, calloused hand dwarfing yours as he helps you stand up. “can you walk?”

“i will if there’s food involved.”

“that’s good.” toji chuckles, “how’s takeout sound?”

a/n: had to write a whole fic abt this i apologise 🥸 will add the tag list later i just keep forgetting the users </3

#📫.toji #📫.answered #toji x reader #toji x you #toji x y/n #toji x self insert #toji fluff #toji fushiguro x reader #toji fushiguro x you #toji fushiguro x y/n #toji fushiguro x self insert #toji fushiguro fluff #toji fushiguro fanfic #actor!toji #actress!reader #toji zenin x reader #toji zenin x you

[dokyeomini]

oh why did i make such a long day out of today... i don't rly regret it tho

#maybe could have skipped going to the stores #tho the only one that wasn't food related was lush and i came out empty handed bjt smelling like every soap in there #too many things i liked but i could only pick one but i couldn't do it #bit overpriced imo #honestly my headphones saved me i would have had an actual meltdown in public today #but i knew i could handl e going out bc the y muffle the sounds enough that no sound sounds.. sharp? #even tho i can still hear ppl talking it's not that bad their voices are softer #i would have had to cut my museum visit short and come back home immediately lmao #the sensory overload was sooo close #i now know that's what makes me go insane outside alhjLjl #like ywah i get irritated when I can't find the bus stop etc but it is much much harder to concentrate with all the sounds #and I don't feel like kicking screaming crying when im wearing my headphones #they're a bit annoying to carty around tho it is one more thing i might forget slme #somewhere #i'll get used to it i guess #anyways im back at my airbnb i've got a good selection of drinks and i started woth orange juice and a coder that i already had in the #fridge #i got stuff to make iced coffee myself bc sometimes the cheapest easiest thing is the best #sick of starbucks tbh #and i got dark chocolate im sick of sweet things too lmao #i miss my regular foods #honestly even fucking pepsi seems sweeter here #not that i have it lften i can't compare #i think im mostly done trying new foods now adjkfk #i felt like i might be missing out if i don't try stuff that isn't what i usually eat at home #but fuck i really don't think I'd like currywurst

[sanaexus]

social's as isagi's girlfriend

-liked by megubachi, chigiwho and 89.2k others

yourusername: the way this mf's date "idea" was also him playing soccer and me js cheering him on. anw i enjoyed it

tagged: isaichii

mikka.kaiser: for the 100th time it's football not soccer ↳yourusername: my account my post i do what i want ↳user1: pop off queen ↳mikka.kaiser: say soccer once more and your boyfriend's deadmeat ↳yourusername: he's better than you anw cry ab it ↳isaichii: why are you in my gf's comments anw ↳mikka.kaiser: my account my comment i do what i want

megubachi: you're everything and he's js ken ↳yourusername: ily bachi come over we'll do a sleepover and paint eachother's nails ↳megubachi: omw rn queen ↳isaichii: no tf not on my watch you can paint my nails ↳yourusername: i tried to but apprently mr football bigshot has an image to keep up ↳isaichii: and i do ↳user2: love the way they give us sm drama

chihiwho: omg you used the hair routine i told you to use!! ↳yourusername: cant believe you gatekept that for so long ↳chigiwho: would have gatekept it for longer but your dumbass annoyed me so much ↳yourusername: no shame in admitting that you love me ↳chigiwho: sigh

user4: leave the ball man for me i can treat you better trust

-liked by yourusername, megubachi and 102.4k others

isaichii: our dates aren't only on the field (wasn't even a date bachira was thirdwheeling us). i treat my girl js fine

yourusername: bachira is my child !! stop slandering him !! ↳megubachi: fr like your giving my daddy issues pt.2 out here ↳isaichii: since when did we adopt this thing ↳yourusername: since forever and he isn't a thing >:( ↳megubachi: #cancelisagiyoichi ↳rin.itoshi: #cancelisagiyoichi ↳reo.miikage: #cancelisagiyoichi ↳mikka.kaiser: #cancelisagiyoichi ↳yourusername: #cancelisagiyoichi ↳isaichii: my gf aswell? wow. zucky better be watching this.

user5: the way even rin commented js bc it was something related to hating on isagi ↳user6: like that man barely uses social media

user7: not his gf joining on the hate bandwagon ↳isaichii: sometimes it do be your girlfriend ↳user7: OMG HE REPLIED?? IM LIKE UR BIGGEST FAN ILY

user8: ugh not isagi's girlfriend hating on him too! i could treat him so much more better.. ↳user9: girl bffr he ain't gonna choose you ↳user8: why not? he's girlfriend's legit a slut lmao ↳bastard.munchen: that's the amount of copium kaiser smokes bfr thinking he can beat isagi. ↳yourusername: HAHAHA I RAISED U WELL ↳mikka.kaiser: oh fuck off ↳isaichii: admin ily

-liked by yourusername, shitdo.ryu and 106.8k others

isaichii: girlfriend appreciation post

yourusername: did i mention ily? ↳isaichii: couple of times, could be said more though ↳yourusername: ily ↳mikka.kaiser: i'm sick. ↳yourusername: go be a hater somewhere else !!

user11: oh to be be posted by isagi yoichi ↳user12: nah, it's more like oh to be able to post y/n ↳yourusername: ily ↳user12: ilyt girlie

yourusername: my man y'all ↳isaichii: all yours now come back to bed i miss you ↳yourusername: omw 🏃‍♀️💨

megubachi: my parents guys ↳isaichii: are we still doing this? ↳yourusername: yes ↳megubachi: yes ↳isaichii: sigh

kuniisuke: y'all are cute or wtvr but get the fuck off my feed ↳yourusername: don't be salty !! ↳kuniisuke: i'm not, i just like being single without you two being all gross ↳isaichii: we aren't gross, we just show love to eachother ↳kuniisuke: do that away from me pls

user13: if they break up, i won't believe in love ↳isaichii: seems like your believing in love for enternity ↳user14: they are the perfect couple, your honor

user15: she's sauurrr pretty, idk how some dude who kicks balls managed to pull her ↳isaichii: ikr!!

js something i came up with impulsively, the other fics i was writing were overwhelming so this is the end result i think i like how it came out. i feel like i should make a series for other characters as well but idk

#blue lock #bluelock #bllk #blue lock fluff #bluelock fluff #blue lock x you #bluelock x reader #bluelock smau #blue lock x reader #bluelock x you #blue lock smau #isagi yoichi #bllk smau #bllk x reader #isagi yoichi x reader #isagi x reader #isagi fluff #isagi yoichi fluff #isagi x reader smau #isagi smau #x reader #social media au #chigiri hyoma #bachira meguru #rin itoshi #reo mikage #kunigami rensuke #michael kaiser #mikage reo

[catmelonwriting]

Oohmygofd pleaaase plsplspls write bulimic reader... As some1 who's bulimic i will die if u do (positively)

BSD Men with a bulimic!reader

Warnings: Bulimia, not proofread, vomit type purging, very self inserted and based off my experiences, bad body image, reader is not underweight, hurt/comfort, a couple usages of (name) in akutagawa's bc I just can't see this man using pet names

Characters: Akutagawa, Chuuya

A/N: I'm sooo glad I'm not the only one who wanted this.. I was really hesitant to write it bc my blog is entirely smut and that usually does better than hurt/comfort, angst, or fluff, but if I'm not the only person who wants it I'm deffy gonna write it!! I don't really like Akutagawas I definitely didn't do him justice but I loveeeee chuuya's

Akutagawa

- Probably will not notice until you tell him.. just thinks you're sick or something when he hears coughing noises from the bathroom.

- From then on he's really concerned, he'll probably do a lot of research on it (w/o you knowing ofc)

- Will try and get you into treatment, even just IOP, but if you refuse HE is going to monitor everything your eating

- If you do end up binging in the middle of the night or while he's not there, the bathroom is off limits for the next 45 minutes.

- He will literally stand in the way of the doorway if you try to go, he's not risking anything.

- If you try not to eat too much the next day to 'make up for it' he'll sit with you while you eat and give you encouraging words here and there, but neither of you are getting up till your finished.

One shot

You're kneeled over the bathroom toilet, the back of a toothbrush nudging your throat, when you let out a loud gag. You immediately take the toothbrush out and cover your mouth.. you had learned to be so quiet after akutagawa found out about your eating disorder, how could you let that happen?

You hear footsteps approaching the bathroom door before three short knocks. "Yeah, Ryū?" You ask, your voice was raspy and you sounded like you had been crying. Fuck, he knows.

"..(Name) are you alright? Are you doing something you shouldn't?" His voice was sharp, like he was angry. You knew he wasn't, you knew he would never be angry at your for something like this.. just.. upset, but you can't help the guilt that courses through your body at his words.

"No." You choke out, shuffling to shove the toothbrush back in the holder. "I heard gagging." You clear your throat, trying to get rid of the rasp. "Um.. I wasn't. Just coughing. I'm not feeling well." You call out, quickly flushing your thrown up dinner down the toilet. "I'll be out in a second."

You dig in the drawers for your perfume, air freshener, dry shampoo, anything you can spray to cover up the smell of your throw up, but you couldn't find anything. So you hesitantly clean your hands and leave the bathroom with the overwhelming smell of vomit filling it.

"Hey, love." You mumble, sitting down next to him on the couch, your voice shaky. "..(Name), don't lie to me. I know what you were doing." He mumbles, placing his hand on the back of your head, pulling you closer to him. You blink back tears as you push your face into his chest. "Im sorry.. I'm so so sorry.. I didn't mean to.. I didn't.." you choke out, sniffling.

"Don't apologize to me, dear. I'm not mad, or even upset. Just.. concerned. You told me you would stop." His voice sounded sympathetic, something you weren't used to with him. The smell of cigarette smoke hung on your jacket, a scent you had grown to love and found comforting since meeting him. The way his lanky, boney, ring covered fingers glided through your hair, his soft voice, it all comforted you, it all told you it was okay to cry.

His heart ached at the little gasps and sniffles and whimpers you let out whilst sobbing into his chest. It made him want to start bawling with you, but of course he wouldn't. He could never appear weak to you. "I'm sorry- I'm so sorry Ryu- I just can't stop- I can't stop no matter how hard I try.." you sob, hands moving to cling onto the fabric of his shirt. "I'm so sorry!"

"Oh baby.." he sighed. You didn't want to look up, you know he's looking down with pity. Pity you didn't want. "It's alright. I don't want you to cry, it's not your fault.. I understand- well, no, I don't. I don't understand, but I want to help you." Wrapping his arms around you, he leans into your head, the scent of your shampoo filling his nose.

That's where you two lay for the rest of your night, him whispering comforting words in your ears, giving you all the love you could ever ask for, something you'd never expect from a man like him.

Chuuya

- He notices within the first month of FRIENDSHIP

- The way you get up and scurry off to the bathroom after every meal you share, the guilt on your face after grabbing a third serving at the party you two are at, how quick you shove shit down your throat before tears well up in your eyes and you excuse yourself.. all of it.

- He definitely cares, but probably won't confront you about it till later on in the friendship if you're still having trouble

- He won't just send you a lousy "have you been eating properly?" Text either, he's gonna invite you over to his house making it known you two are gonna have a serious conversation, then sit you down in his living room then prod and probe till you admit it.

- If you're still struggling w/ it when you're dating/when you move in together (which you probably are bc eds are harsh) he'll be like Akutagawa and monitor everything you eat, just a little more stealthily

- He is not afraid to tell you to slow down if you seem to be overeating.. he takes the binging just as seriously as the purging.

Oneshot

You had awakened in the middle of the night with a need for food. Anything you could get your hands on you needed inside of you asap.

You quickly and carefully slipped out of his arms and out of bed, tip toeing to the kitchen and flicking the light on. The first thing you see is a brand new box of cereal you had bought today, Chuuya hadn't had it in awhile, it was his favorite as a kid and he seemed happy while buying it. Guilt tote through you when you ripped open the box and shuffled handfuls into your mouth, before discarding the half empty box on the ground.

You reached for the cake you two had made for your birthday last week, taking fistfuls with your bare hands and shoving the icing covered cake in your mouth.

After shoving everything in vicinity down your throat, you open the fridge to find a diet coke, or a regular, just anything with bubbles.. anything with carbonation to help you get this all up better. Anything. Your eyes land on an energy drink you had bought yesterday.. you were saving it for today, but in your eyes you needed it now.

You crack it open and glug it down, before looking at the mess you made on the floor. Empty boxes, half eaten cake, a carton of half eaten cookies, an empty bowl that was previously filled with salad, an empty milk carton.. you felt sick to your stomach. You needed this out of you now. Now.

You quietly tip toe to the bathroom, turning off the kitchen lights behind you and locking the door behind you, kneeling on the ground in front of the toilet. You hated doing this, you hated how gross you felt hovering over something where your ass went.. but you needed it gone. You couldn't gain weight.. you already felt so fat as it is no matter how much chuuya tried to convince you you're average.. you just couldn't believe it. Looking in the mirror all you could see was piles of fat.

You push the back of your toothbrush down your throat, gagging almost silently as the first few things came up. You recognized some chocolate, veggies, something.. red.. you didn't want to think about it too much as you shoved the toothbrush back down your throat. You watched as everything you ate came up opposite to the order you had it in.

Finally, you recognize barely chewed lumps of cereal fall into the toilet, and after you throw up stomach acid mixed with dark blood, you sigh, wipe your mouth and stand up, flushing the toilet, and clean yourself up.

Walking out of the bathroom, you see the kitchen lights on. Fuck. You could've sworn you turned those off.

Your ginger haired boyfriend turns the corner from the kitchen, looking you dead in the eyes with disappointment on his face. You wished you could just evaporate. "Love, what is this?" He sounded.. exasperated. Tired of you, tired of your illness, tired of having a girlfriend who can't just eat normally. You were tired of it too, but the Internet made recovery seem so much easier than it really was.

Tears flow out of your eyes as you wipe the remaining spit dribbling from your mouth away. "Did you throw up?" He sighs.. you can't tell if he's being sympathetic or if he's annoyed. Maybe both. All you can muster is a nod before you fall into his chest, letting out broken sobs and choking out apologies. From where you are you can glance into the kitchen, noticing he had cleaned up the little mess you made.

God, not only did he have to deal with such an emotional, disordered girlfriend.. he had to clean up after you too? You felt like such a terrible person, like you didn't deserve his love.

"Cmon, sweetie, let's go to bed. Let me tuck you in." He mutters sleepily. "Don't apologize.. don't apologize, it's not your fault. You know I'm not mad." His whispers comfort you and make you feel worse at the same time, you didn't understand it. "I'm not mad, just worried. I could never be mad at you." He speaks softly, nudging you towards the open door of your bedroom.

You whimper and sniffle as he tucks you into bed, before getting back in himself and wrapping his arms around your waist. He leans in, whispering sweet nothing's in your ear, tracing shapes in your hip, telling you you're beautiful and it'll all be okay until you fall asleep.

When you wake up the next morning, Chuuya isn't there. He must've gone to work already. You see a small note on the bedside table next to you, and hesitantly pick it up to read its contents.

"Hey doll, I'm sorry I left for work before we could talk about this in-person, and I definitely have a plan to speak to you about it tonight. But I wanted to let you know I'm not mad at you, nor am I upset with you, I'm just concerned for your well-being and safety. I want to get you into some treatment program because I'm not trained in this, and I don't really know how to help. I know this isn't entirely about your weight or how your body looks, but baby believe me when I say you're beautiful. You are the most gorgeous girl I have ever laid my eyes on and I am so lucky to have you. You are not 'too much' and your emotional baggage is not too much for me to carry. Even if it was, it's worth it for a girl as sweet and caring as you.

Love, Chuuya"

You hold the note close to your chest and push yourself backwards into bed, draping the covers over yourself and falling back asleep with his letter held close.

#bsd x reader #bsd #bungo stray dogs x reader #bungo stray dogs #akutagawa x reader #akutagawa ryuunosuke x reader #akutagawa ryūnosuke x reader #ryuunosuke akutagawa x reader #ryūnosuke akutagawa x reader #akutagawa #Ryūnosuke Akutagawa #ryuunosuke akutagawa #chuuya x reader #chuuya nakahara x reader #nakahara chuuya x reader #nakahara chūya x reader #chūya Nakahara x reader #chūya x reader #hurt/comfort #chuuya hurt/comfort #akutagawa hurt/comfort #chuuya #chūya

[ghostbite0]

i got a ton of asks in my inbox so im just going to put all of them here so i don't spam u guys with it haha

this is really the only guy i use. felt pen on clip studio is excellent for the sketchier style i like! when it comes to coloring i just use a basic solid brush !

i imagine they do, and they each get assigned a baby (tanjiro with giyuu, inosuke with sanemi, and zenitsu with obanai) but it lasts for barely a day. inosuke has no idea what hes doing and obanai cant stand zenitsu

tengens wives find the situation hysterical but they help out however they can. ofc they all fight over tengen. they love helping out with the kiddies but they especially enjoy taking care of the younger ones-- they think mui, mitsuri, and shinobu are adorable! tengen definitely tries to flirt with them but hes a cringe fail ten year old

kanao, aoi, and the butterfly girls all help out as well. kanao and shinobu are typically glued together

shinjuro and senjuro are shocked to see rengoku (and obanai) and while shinjuro is pissed off at first, he can't Not take in his boys. senjuro and little obanai are super similar in nature so

urokodaki, tengen, and nezuko are worried but excited about giyuu's transformation. they're like lets freaking go. good childhood moment

and of course genya thinks the situation is hilarious and hes happy to get to spend time with his brother, although he's VERRRRY awkward. he's a bit avoidant at times but usually gyomei and tanjiro can talk him

aw thank you! to answer your question;; shinobu and gyomei basically spend time with him and are attentive to his wants/needs to help him recognize he does matter. rengoku and the others help with this! essentially love language stuff and affirmations and what not

ill be honest i totally forgot about this. yea! i would say the babies are only put in a very specific area of the manor and they deep clean it constantly. if they have a good amount of sick/wounded i imagine they have gyomei or etc take them in. im not sure! in my mind the hashira all rotate and babysit and etc

this 100% happens. urokodaki learned the news and had never traveled to the headquarters so fast

ohh this is a fun question! truthfully im not sure what the answer to this would be... i appreciate all the questions/ideas/etc!! if anything id love to have more questions about general characterization stuff, since thats my favorite favorite favorite to talk about!!! maybe more questions about like... what their relationships are like, do they have nicknames for each other, that sort of thing... idk! either way im glad people are interested :D

sanemi tries to make them laugh. he remembers his little siblings always cheering up when he would make silly faces and sounds, so he does that here

giyuu awkwardly pats the other baby's back/head and is like "there there" ... he remembers how sabito's hugs would make him feel better so he awkwardly hugs the other. most of the time obanai/sanemi stop crying purely bc they're confused as to why giyuu is hugging them

obanai would usually talk them out of it, but he can't do too much since he's restricted to baby babble. so instead, he will try to find one of their toys and "gift" it to them. ex giyuu was sobbing hysterically until obanai found his fox plushie and gave it to him

awww shucks... stop it u guys.....!

im doing ok!!! hanging in! got 3/13 commissions done so busy busy!

also, for future ref, i prefer being called "bite" !!! i know a lot of people call me ghost, so i just wanted to take a moment to correct that :D

awwwwww this is so sweet!! thank you so much!!!!!!

defintely one of the rodent pokemon. my favorite pokemon changes constantly but im told i have mimikyu / teddiursa / bunneary vibes. i also like espurr. i have no idea UWEIHRWE

i think he would be a little awkward at first but he would get the hang of it. most of what he does is just keep them entertained and make sure they arent sick or hurt. though he eventually builds up the courage to ask if he can feed obanai. from that point on whenever muichiro is babysitting he's the one offering to feed him, though someone else has to make the bottle-- he doesn't know how to do that

this is canon

Hands down, Obanai. Though I also feel really sad for Gyomei and Muichiro, and I think Tengen's story (what we know of it) is pretty sad. I don't like comparing traumas, though! but yeah. obanai is. wow. poor guy

and to those of you sending art requests; i see them, i promise! commissions come first, so they may take time for me to get done!

thank you guys for all the questions! i always love checking my inbox and getting an excuse to talk about things...

#not artbites #askbites #askbox

[rinhaler]

OMG OMG PLEASE HEAR ME OUT PLEASE I BEG! Uncle Nanami and Step dad Gojo coming home to reader after surviving the Shibuya incident. LISTEN! It's been so long since you have seen them both, Shoko just taken care of them to the best of her abilities. Gojo is optimistic about his "cool" battle scars he thinks it makes himself look sexier, but Nanami can't even bare to look at reader he feels so insecure about whether or not you'll still find him remotely attractive anymore. But both of them are surprised by how much affection reader give them especially Nanami he's surprised you even bothered to kiss him, but of course Gojo gets all whiny because he didn't get a kiss

(I know that I miss you sex is going to be out of this WORLD)

IM SORRY IT TOOK ME A WHILE TO GET TO THIS I GOT SO DISTRACTED W MY BDAY I'm finally alone for the first time in days so I can be my chronically online self again :3

imagine if the reader doesnt even really know what they do for work. like, she knows they're teachers but she had no idea they literally fight for their lives on a daily basis (not gojo bc he's the strongest but yk).

the readers mother would be SO upset seeing her husband and her uncle so tired and bloody and beaten up but she feels sick. like, actually sick. she can't believe that she almost lost her only male role models/influences and she didn't even know because she's clueless about who they really are and what they do.

nanami is insisting he doesnt need medical attention and stuff but he gladly accepts the offer to stay the night. gojo manages to sneak out from his marital bed too so they can both spend the evening with you trying to calm you down and answer all of your questions.

it's just so sweet and wholesome and you cry a whole bunch bc you don't know what you'd do without them :((((

#💌 — luxe mail #🐰 anon #tw stepcest #tw:incest

[uriekukistan]

Hope your day or night is going well!! ✨

Okay, top five Megumi lines/scenes?

ahhh thank you i hope yours is as well!! and thank you for the ask!!

im in the car rn so some of these i couldn’t track down the specific chapter/page bc i dont wanna use all my data :’)

1 - “i’m not like itadori, i have no problem earning 100 points for myself.” or something along that line

one of the things that fascinates me the most about megumi is the way he places value on lives, and this line is just so cool to me. he’d said before this that he saves people unequally, but this shows just how far that goes. he’ll kill anywhere from 20-100 random people so tsumiki and itadori, the two people he cares about and thinks are worth saving more than anyone else, don’t have to get their hands dirty, and their lives hold more value to him than others. it’s also so interesting to me because of the way megumi doesn’t consider himself a good person like tsumiki or itadori, and therefore doesn’t really see himself as worth saving, so it’s just a necessary burden he has to carry as the “bad” person for those two. also add that in w this line, and im on the floor

2 - his battle vs sukuna at the detention facility/“i’m not a hero, i’m a jujutsu sorcerer”

another moment where we get an insight into his ideas on good/bad people and who deserves saving, can you tell i love this aspect of his character? i mean, he’s about to sacrifice himself for itadori to live (hopefully), even though he literally met the guy two weeks ago, because he thinks he’s a good person who deserves saving. it’s the first insight we get into megumi’s thought process, and this was really the moment that made me start paying attention to him more. i also love how he kept a softer expression on his face and didn’t cry until after itadori died, like he didnt want itadori to feel sad or guilty in his final moments im SICK also the fact that he took the name-tag to that guys mom even though he didnt have an interest in saving him, like he was paying a respect to itadori….ugh…anyway yeah i love dissecting the way he values life.

3 - “so start by saving me, itadori”

see as an itafushist of course this had to make the list like this whole chapter has me on the floor but anyway aside from that, i love thinking about this scene because the words he’s saying seem so contrary to how he thinks? like he’s asking to be saved but he doesn’t think he’s worth saving? so it needs an extra layer of consideration. i feel like he really said this more to motivate yuuji (and save tsumiki) than actually wanting to be saved himself. plus the “it’s our fault, don’t be selfish and give up all alone” aaahhahahsj i just love this moment i feel like it shows his character very well….when the idgafer actually very much gaf….

4 - his first domain expansion

hellooo this was so sick and cool and badass of him like i dont think there’s anything i need to say for this. huge character development moment for him too. add this with the simple domain he had in dagon’s domain + the part in the culling games arc where he literally hides himself in the shadows……he’s crazy powerful and i dont wanna hear anything abt it! if u were traumatized like that you’d be curled up on the floor too

5 - “if you die, i’ll kill you” both times

again as an itafushist i couldnt not include this….of course there’s implications for megumi’s character as well but i feel like there’s only so much i can talk about his moral code in one post yk? but yeah i think it just shows how much the people he cares about matter to him

also bonus i love just any culling games megumi, his determination to save tsumiki and make it so itadori doesnt have to kill anyone makes him grow so much as a character and as a sorcerer, i love it sm

thank u for the ask! any excuse to yap about megumi 🤞

#me when i queue an ask game and then forget #i have no idea what’s in my queue tbh #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jjk spoilers #megumi fushiguro #itafushi

[saintobio]

hello babe!!!

howre you? i wish you a lot happiness!!!!

anyways, i wanted to say that i understand how yn has her heart sickness, because everytime i think about sn&sy, my own heart hurts a lot, even more so after the last chapter. ch 9 was so heavy and angsty that i cried and i don’t cry that much because my emotions have been numb. what’d you do? how can a normal person write that? i take multiple breaks reading these chapters and sometimes even my absolute addiction and temptation is unable to make me read them all at once.

it’s just so appreciable how you write so beautifully. i love reading your fics not just because of how well they’re written, but also because it makes me feel an intense pain, and i love that pain, i want that pain. that’s not me saying that i don’t want yn to be happy; because idc about gojo as much as i want yn’s happiness. she’s done some ‘not-so-good-things’, but she’s also been through such agonising times and she just deserves happiness at this point of life and for someone to choose her, to love her despite her flaws. and as much as i want gojoyn to be an endgame. it’s fine if they aren’t, because they’re both mature people and deserve happiness. i hate how gojo has treated yn in the past, but i’m also kinda impressed by how far he’s come. i understand him going for akemi, as much as i hate how he chose yn’s bff, but that’s understandable, (i’ve s family member who had a similar accident and after that brain damage, he’s not been the same person, and coming from that, i think satoru went for the person who took care of him the most.) i’m suicidal on behalf of my sweetheart yn. i just want her to be happy, and cared for in love. and i want someone to pick her. and on this heartbreaking journey towards a happy ending for them, i’m in for all the heart-wrenching angst and rarely heartwarming moments!

it pisses me off how akemi went for her bff’s ex husband and istg i hardly care about how she fell in love(?) with him, because babe your bff had a life and death situation because of that man, how can you approach him??? it doesn’t matter that she’s moved on, you still do not go for your bffs ex, that’s a girl code. she may be a good person (questionably so, but hey, im not a pious hermit either to be judging her.) but she’s a real bad friend. her guilt is questionable when she she asks for a family from satoru right after she feels bad about betraying yn. like at least give time for that guilt to fester. i’m sorry i’m ranting. these are my personal feelings. and i love for writing akemi. she’s a well written character, much more than many other characters that i’ve come across.

sera. my baby. my queen. i do not stand by what she did in sn, but goddamnit, i’ve always loved her and her dedication and her aspirations. she wasn’t always bad, and i’m sure had the fic from her pov, we would have liked her more. because shes hardworking, and headstrong and FUNNY. and i love how she stood by yn, and her character development has been so beautiful. she deserves sukuna so much. they’re both my babies. i love that she could get this in her life.

there will be a lot of errors in this ask, and please forgive me for them. i’m extremely tired. exhausted even.

till next time, babygirl!

💌🫶🏻

thank you sooo much, i’m kinda glad you can feel the pain through my writing bc i guess that means it’s effective ? :’D i write way too much angst to the point where i just can’t tell how angsty something is bc i’m alr so numb lol T-T

but aaaaaa ur description of sy!yn hits hard while i’m writing sy10. idek if a person can realistically have this much anguish in her life but i do share ur sentiment of wanting her to just be happy, even if it means she won’t end up with gojo in the end 🥹 it’s the idea of acceptance and letting go that just hurts so damn good. tysm, it’s such a good perspective to read!

#🖤: letters to saint #series: sincerely yours #tw.suicide

[bogbees]

rereading the first chapters to Firefly wedding... sick and twisted SICK AND TWISTED. shinpei does not have a sparkle in his eye until

satoko wipes the blood fr his mouth

it disappears again but it might be there when he first says they should get married. hard to tell

then once more when he watches her dance

then when he tells her he loves her in the grotto with the fireflies (what a freakish little man)

when she scolds him when they plan to have her bought (notable the panel she mentions marriage)

When she asks what would happen if he died

when she shows him her scar

when she calls him out for wanting to escape the island

when he offers to carry the firewood

when he tries to explain what he likes about her

when she's a gross mess crying bc she hurt him by lying (side note FUNNY THAT bc she was saying she hated lying to husbands ab her illness but this is a reverse)

when she's sobbing telling him she can't marry him

he pretty much has the shine to his eyes for the rest of the scene too

when he's relieved? i guess that nothing bad happened to her after the girls attacked her

when she tells him she's glad she met him

when she tells him she doesn't want him to die

when he's lying near dead muttering ab giving her his heart

change of pace SHE looses the sparkle in her eye when he's lying near dead

not a sparkle in his eye but like. seeing her weep openly ab his wellbeing made him super horny?????

side note I'm INSANE ab how he zeroes in on her surgery scar and basically starts worshiping it

sparkle returns when he learns she didn't leave his side

when aoi says it's a mutual love: he gets the actual high school girl kicking feet on bed sort of reaction to this

when she is thankful he came back alive

being sooky and clingy towards her asking her to cuddle

im willing to count that the first shot of his face after she forcibly holds him as a sparkle due to his eyes being completely white, rather than the solid black they are in the next one

when she says she doesn't want to part fr him

when he embraces her himself

when she's like "your warmth makes me feel like we're alive" FUCK OOOOOFFFFFFFFFFFFF

when he learns he gets to run errands with her

going to get dango

telling her he'll set her free

wanting to fuck around the market with her for longer

just before he lifts her and exclaims that he's enjoying it

when he has her up in the air above him

when he's looking at her while picking out the geta

laughing with her

when he's reading her letter

telling her he was happy to get the letter

telling her smth ab her that he likes

seeing her hold his response letter

when he asks to see her face and she opens the door wide enough

god

#bogs' muttering #firefly wedding