#ill be there for you ill do anything for you id die for you id live for you id go to rehab id throw myself off the golden gate bridge

[ressioo]

Once again i am in 'help cannot fuckin draw much of what i want to draw' mood so have these. Accumulated over quite a few days

Peepaw overseer beloved

Peepaw on fucking fire. Dont ask me why. I literally do not know. (Also lil pibpaw)

Sunny! Beloved idiot lizard

#This is all actually 3sig+ propaganda #you think id post anything else #brain rot too strong #3sig+ #ill do asks eventually i swear #just been looking at them and going AUGH #because artblock and lazy but i wanna do em #and i literally cannot answer asks without art or ill die #no significant harassment

[worldsquietestjojosfan]

Mingjue's gaze softens.

"Didi. You are confused. You are misinterpreting brotherly love for romantic interest."

Huaisang clenches his firsts and stares down at the floorboards. His expression morphs into one of pain. He draws in a deep breath.

"Da-ge, please sleep with me." Mingjue's body jerks back at his little brother's words. "If I sleep with you, then I'll know for sure what I'm feeling."

#bro doing anything but organizing her code #my brother says i write like i wasnt allowed to go to school #recently my brother had to do a project for school where he had to pick up a new hobby #he didnt do the assignment and at the last day he was like brother im so fucked help me #so i let him use one of my fanfics for the before and told him to use his own fanfic as an after and present that #his professor told him his improvement was incredible #thats all i have to say #theres something so cringe about when i write #ill write it and be like yeah. and then i read over it and die #unironically i actually run away from my fics. i have never once read them again after finishing #like when i draw. i look at it. im like yeah that part is good that part is bad. pretty mid but its ok. #writing? i turn red and hide from the monster i have created #i think my writing could be lethal. like if i read all my fics one after the other id die from cringe poisoning #i regularly look at my old drawings and cry how much ive regressed. but i can look at them. #one time my friend wanted to torture me so he called me to read my fics out loud. i endorse this as an execution method #shit gets me sweating. i have to get normal about this #some words #wip #the second wip actually #the first one is the saber spirit takes over nmj and he fucks nhs on the training grounds infront of everyone. #second one is nmj is like brother you have to stop being a freak this is getting out of hand and nhs is like nuh-uh. but also how'd you kno #on a side note remember my former student that confessed? yeah well #he proposed marriage

[hobimo]

see i don't even disagree w you, it's the specific jikook brand of omegaverse that is rly just an excuse to write straight romance undetected. like you can't convince me that if you replace jm and jk from the average jikook fic with a straight couple something would feel different. and please don't feel included in this because you know how to write a great plot and establish characters ok!!! actually i think i read a bakudeku fic once! it was superr popular and short i think? i tried reading some jujutsu kaisen ff and yeah there's some good stuff out there but nothing compares to the emotional attachment i have to bts so 😞 i need to fixate on something else asap❗

you would not believe. how many times i've tried answering this ask before i dissolve into Yapping. sorry. i have a lot of thoughts about the type of fic you're describing i really do. it's bothered me for a long time. my general thoughts are that. bts ao3 fic is a very short walk from wattpad band fic. so a lot of those sorts of people end up over here that dont have that Shame the rest of us nerds do who grew up writing cringey ass book and anime fic when we were teens that pushed us to experiment with writing in complete anonymity and write fucked up and shit stuff and we started Caring abt what we wrote. and also the wattpad band fic environment is so different to the ao3 m/m. but if you know a little grammar and you actually finish the fic the story just gets so unbelievably popular on its own.

that being said there are good fics still in bts jikook. i havent found them yet but i know they're in there. there's gotta be at least one brave soldier left fighting against swathes of people who probably unironically read colleen hoover for fun. there's gotta be. i refuse to live in a world where there isnt

#but if you want bkdk fic recs. anything by surveycorpsjean #fraycheck especially... godddddddddddddddddd #fics that made me wnat to die so that fic would forver be the best thing id ever read #sorry. that sounds mentally ill. anyway #but if u want to yap. please dm me #i love to be a hater and like i said. the state of jikook fics have distressed me for a long time #there has to be a point where smth else gets popular all these shitty people leave and its just us fucking nerds again #then we will experience enlightenment #i havent kept up with a lot of jikook authors but i do like thisneedsmorefilth #their regency au was pretty good #i think there's been a bit of a dead dove resurgence in fic lately but i dont need to read what kpoppies think dead dove is tbh #we have dead dove at home (my emotional support fic outlines that will nver be written) #sorry. for the Opinions

[trees-to-meet-you]

Sibling forced me to dress up as golden Freddy and watch the fnaf movie gonna be honest I wasn’t a fnaf kid but since they’ve gotten into it I’ve tried to too but anyway yeah I may have next to no idea what’s going on but it was pretty great

#chatter #hi everybody! accidentally closed my desktop tab so im currently on mobile but i think ill whip out the website again soon #fnaf movie #fnaf #rambling #it was a pretty good movie. i liked the main character a lot it was easy to relate to his motivations while also yelling at him for #being a dickhead idiot #spoilers: #like. if my parents die suddenly you bet your ass i would drop everything for my little sibling even if i cant take as good care of them as #someone else. i would at least try. and if i actually had another sibling who was kidnapped right in front of me id do anything i could to #save them too #so i found this guy relatable on terms of being the eldest sibling #and abby had SO much autism swag let’s be real #that is an autistic little girl if ive ever seen one and ive BEEN one #girl was fucking awesome #also: even if he was possessed im glad freddy ate that dickhead bitch of an aunt what a fucking ASSHOLE #i bet that was something the freddy kid may have felt bad for until abby told him no she’s a bitch with a capital b thanks for killing her #and he was like oh ok cool so maybe i was possessed into doing it but the end result wasn’t too bad nice #anyway. #FUCK man sibling movies fucking GET ME #im sitting here like oh damn he lives for his little sister and he still wishes he could save his little brother FUCK man I WOULD TOO #god. i get it. i love my little sibling so much i would do anything for them. they’re my best friend and if i were to even come close to #losing them I Don’t Know What’d Id Do #so yeah good movie

[this-should-do]

venting dont mind me xp ✌

#if i dont get out of my parents house im going to die #either by my hand or my mothers #i refuse to be forced into the role of woman becuz my mother cant get over herself or accept other peoples suffering #so i either leave or i die #i am never more depressed than when im in this house and it gets worse everytime i return #every second of oeace is a facade careful held up by smiles and jokes while ignoring who i am to please others #and ignorjng the genuinely genocidal beliefs of my parents against myltple peoples #at least one of which includes me #why cant life be easy #when is it .y turn to tbrive #in this hluse i am no older than a middle schooler no more mature or happy #everyday i dream of relapsing sh-ing just for some control of the pain i experiemce something anything #maybe someone will finally listen to me and se ehow ioset i am see how smothered i am and the sting will pull me back down to earth again #but no who would see would understand #my brothers or my parents none of them would kniw why even if i said it to thwir face #i dint event even want to think of what my mother woukd say #shed use it as an excuse to further deny my transness surely #say how horribke and spirtful and manipulative i am against her #that i ddi it to hurt her #i am trapped as a doll in a house only allowed to be agreeable no politics no emotions other tan #contentness and love and adoration for my family #or else i am unloveavle and horrible and sick #i cannot tell my mom she has uoset me becuz it would be unfair i am silent instead #i am to take her anger and rage as a perfect recepticle and no matter how well i handle it #i am thanked with resentment amd scorn amd terfisms #i can neither disagree woth her beliefs nor avoid discussing them to keeo the oeace all she wants is comoliance #i refuse to do that tho ill take hee scorn on that one thing i refuse to xomprimise my beliefs verbally to save my own skin #ill just be quiet #im sure id be a better recepticle for her dead so she can dress me up as a girl one last time #the dead cant argue or disagree with you its everything she wants from me

[water-mellie-seeds]

If you genuinely want to start shit with me about it then you're free to unfollow i genuinely do not care about this stupif petty arguement anymore i exist outside the weird as fuck rules of media consumption on the internet. I want you to know the absolute truth about something. To preface just because this IS the piss on the poor website this is NOT us condoning proshippery or condoning the actions of any less than savory creators or pieces of media we happen to watch or talk about.

We actually quite liked some of the new hazbin hotel and we finally watched and enjoyed helluva boss. And we do still watch south park. And other pieces of media that apparently make you a terrible person for even looking at. For south park I have since i was 9 maybe 10 and it actually helped me to UNLEARN the shitty things i did and thought as a kid in a small town with heavily christian parents. In my very early childhood, my mom used to have basically fucking neo-nazi type ideals thanks to her parents and I had to unlearn all of that on my own because she didn't unlearn it before having kids and 'problematic media' helped. It helped me see what Not to do and what Not to say. And whatever! Sometimes its actually fucking funny and that's fine too! The jokes you have the right to laugh at. And im sick of like. People not getting that you can like something and not everything about it. And im ALSO sick of people dictating whats bad media and whats good media. Why cant we just go back to it being MEDIA. the death of media literacy and the weird holier than thou attitude behind finding a piece of media that has the least amount of controversy is just exhausting. The whole practice is so ridiculously detrimental and im serious. Like 10 odd years ago no one cared what you watched and no one Especially measured your moral standing with a fucking stupid tv show and i don't know when that shift was made but it makes me so genuinely upset because you're not going to find that perfect and pristine show. Everything has something wrong with it. You can acknowledge that and just, move on. It's incredibly easy.

Im not always eloquent as I'd like to be but i feel a lot better coming clean that yeah, Sometimes I find comfort in media that isn't super sweet and sanitized and I owe it to south park and things like it for teaching me how not to act,and especially how some of the things in my life were not normal or okay. However, never would I praise it.

Thank you, i didnt want to keep up some kind of unspoken ohhh i hate those fans lol vibe and confuse people who actually do think like this and who do judge people's morals based on what they consume. So if this is a thing you do and knowing this about us changes how you view us, it is more than okay for you to unfollow or break mutuals,etc. We will be in no way offended.

There's a lil more in tags if u wanna look @ those

Normal posting will resume after i get home from my party!

anons will be off tonight for obvious reasons<3. If you're really aiming to send a death threat though, this is not the case for any of our other blogs so if you're dedicated enough, find em♡ whatever gets you off

#whoever decides what media is ok and what media isnt is dumb. #moral orel is okay and so is bojack! but then another piece of media that handles similar subjects is reprehensible and you are too for - #finding it entertaining? #ill never understand this and im sick of pretending i do. #as long as you understand and acknowledge the problems in something you can engage with it critically. #also Danganronpa fucking eats ass and id even argue its worse jn its execution of heavy topics than anything ive listed #yet we're fine with that one! i could go on but i wont. #tldr: its not that serious #you can like send me death threats or whatever i like actually do Not care i could die tomorrow from the unknown immune complications i hav #live laugh loser baby

[bananastarion]

Never thought I'd be tempted to get a dakimakura oh my fucking god what is wrong with me 😭😭😭

#i work so hard and have saved up so much money #i never buy myself anything #dont i deserve a little treat? #what if somebody else saw it though #id die of embarrassment #i cant do it. i wont do it #if anyone found it that would haunt me for the rest of my life #it'd help me sleep better tho... i like wrapping my arms around something #my cats would probably just puke on it #its not worth it!!! dont you fucking dare do it #im so conflicted #im dying #if i ever get really drunk ill probably impulse buy one and keep it hidden in my closet

[semiotomatics]

i find it funny when my head hurts cause its like, youre already the cause of literally every single other problem i have. and now you hurt too? unbelievable

#this has been an original post #personal spewage #anyway i need to do something to distract myself from the pain or i might go walk into traffic hahahaha #so here i am posting on tumblr #holy shit it hurts so much #how do i make it stop hurting #youd think w all the pain i xp on a reg basis id have a higher tolerance #you would be wrong #anything above a minor pain n im instantly like “guess ill die ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯” #i mean idk how other ppl would rate this pain #like its not the most pain ive ever been in #im not crying im not screaming im not gagging/dry heaving #im able to lie still n even make tumblr posts #but its just like. constant #theres no relief #n head pain always feels so much worse than other pains idk why #it feels more. central? i guess? #like the pain is in my _house_ #thats where i _live_ #its not in some far off extremity #god #i should take another motrin #might as well

[bunnyb34r]

God I hope my fucking meds get here today I stg

#im in so much fucking pain #i want to stab my spine to paralyze myself so i won't feel this pain anymore. just cut off the major source #my ribcage and back hurt so fucking badly that i cant sleep it fucking hurts to breathe and im feel like i jumped off a building #i called it in LAST Tuesday. been off since last Friday. i wanna fucking die man it's so bad #and i cant like go to the hospital for an emergency dose bc its a compound medicine and idk what i can do to make it stop myself in the mean #time like fuck man #im seriously gonna start bawling if it doesn't come today man like idk what ill do it hurts so bad #like i dont think i can do anything bc the pharmacy would be like sorry we mailed it dont know what to tell you and the post office #would be like youll fucking get it when you get it. order sooner you piece of shit #id call off work but i really dont want to be stuck sitting around in pain all day. at least work will give me something to pass the time #marquilla

[timeisacephalopod]

The fact that cigarette companies exist is fucking dystopian and a sign of the failure of capitalism as an ideology- cigarettes are a product that undeniably caused a bunch of different cancers, we've all seen the tobacco death stats on the back of cig cartons smokers have, and yet. And yet, for some reason instead of saying "zero businesses should be selling cancer causing products to their customers, certainly not when those cancer causing products are so dangerous even the smoke of the product causes cancers in the people around smokers. Businesses have zero right to cause a massive health crisis in the population like this when their only function is to make money- you cannot give people cancer for profit."

Like you'd assume giving people cancer for money would be some kind of fucked dystopian novel that'd get ripped on for being way too over the top and unrealistic but no, we literally live in such a morally bankrupt capitalist brain rotted society that we think selling cancer is fine, we won't do anything about a set of companies that exist solely to get customers addicted to their highly dangerous product for profit. Instead we'll act like it's smokers who need to take responsibility for the industry that's exploiting them. Fucking disgusting if you ask me, that we're more okay with companies giving people cancer than we are with governments giving people welfare.

#winters ramblings #my parents have been smokers for as far back as i remember #id really like to livht some ceos on fire for putting all these people at risk OF CANCER and like 72 billion kinds #so they can make MONEY. what kind of morally vacuous black hole of a person thinks thats acceptable?? #and they LOBBIED to hide any effects of smoking second hand effects included. fucking HORRIFYING #the fact that businesses do this a LOT- like bp shell and exxon all covering up climate change to make more money?? #capitalism is a failure because people will kill each other or even THE ONLY VIABLE PLANET TO LIVE ON IN OUR SOLAR SYSTEM #just to make money. like you can tell me about how horrible other economic systems are all fucking day #and frankly id be inclined to ahree with you on plenty. but capitalism is not a viable choice either #when THIS is the result. selling health crises to the population and killing the planet. name me another economic system thats done THAT #ill fucking wait because capitalism is it. embarrassing that people will defend this system #even more embarrassing that we hand wring over fst people being an epidemic to the point of systemic oppression #because THEY need to take responsibility for the health crisis they allegedly cause despite reporting going to the drs FAR less #than thin people so idk how theyre astrain on health care especially in the us where people literally die before going to emerg but ok #THEY need to be responsible for THEIR health crisis despite losing weight long term being NEXT TO IMPOSSIBLE #but tobacco companies can sell cancer to the point if being a WAY MORE SOLVABLE HEALTH CRISIS #but we cant do anything because being disgustingly cruel and punative to individuals is fine but oh dear LORD #how could we EVER treat businesses with more impunity than individuals because they cause INFINITY MORE DAMAGE?? #we couldn't POSSIBLY treat a structure of institutional power like it actually HAS power thatd break the illusion its all CONSUMERS faults

[saintadeline]

Actually... Bb muchuals do you know of any good servers out there. I want to talk to people more really bad and thats one of the media with which im more comfortable doing that in communities. Doesnt have to be bb centric but you know what i mean... Putting it out there

#i dont trust most fans of. well anything tbh but especially fromsft. but if its mutual-vetted ill take it #i mean honestly all im asking is people be normal about trans people etc LOL which is a high bar already #id try and make one myself but thats scary and also i feel like it would not do well probably #as in would die very fast i mean. thats how ive seen it be with most Just A Bunch Of Mutuals And Mutuals Mutuals servers tbqh #id be happy to be proven wrong though LOL #ik im not very active in the general community on here anymore so i feel like most of the people i know are the same #(golden age 3-5 years ago or something...) #ITS WORTH ASKING THOUGH.. i would like to talk to people again #i feel incomprehensible rn so i cant tell if any of this made any sense at all UM. YOU KNOW

[semercury]

.

#stuff sarah says #everything is so complicated and i dont want to be alive #i dont want to die. i just dont want to be alive. theres a difference #like im fine. i wont do anything about it. just the heavy weight in my chest of wow i wish i didnt exist so bad rn #i hate people looking at me and drawing their own conclusions #and like. nothings happened. but people could start to hate me. they could. out of nowhere #and a lot of them would have a 'good' reason to. bc i dont know the answers #i dont know anything!!! i don't know what the right answer is but things feel off and wrong and i dont like it!!! #leave me alone dont look at me dont ask me my opinion dont look at me dont look at me dont look at me #im gonna go to my dr appt on monday and deal with the stupid mental health quiz and not know the answers #bc like yes i imagine what if i was dead a lot. im fine tho. its a normal thing for me #everybody just wishes they didnt exist. ive yet to meet someone who hasnt #have i lost interest in the things i used to enjoy or am i afraid something bad will happen if i do them? who's to say??? #and unfortunately i cant do the 'can we skip this im in therapy im fine' thing anymore bc im not in therapy anymore #and i get to say no im not finding a new one. you think im gonna open myself up like that to a stranger? #but yeah. i think id be better off if i ran away into the wilderness #ill keep a journal and when i inevitably die to the elements it can be published like that one guy #im so scared of everyone all the time. i dont want people seeing me anymore

[dockaspbrak]

Its. Frustrating to feel like im always waiting for it all to be over

#like jdbdidnf idk #idk #i wish i could just do a thousand push ups or walk for 8 hours and then feel nothing #but alas. i have to sit with this feeling. which reminds me of all the other times i felt like this #and its so like. lonely and scary and like #idk what id need someone to do but. like take charge or smth in a way that #isnt just asking me questions #idk. im gonna read fanfiction and hope i feel less like im going to die in the morning #its like. i feel like ive made my peace with dying and then bam suddenly im terrified of it #i feel like i want a hug and someone to not try to look me in the eye but like just make space for me next to them while they do something #like when ur a kid and ur dads watching a movie and gestures fornyou to join him on the couch but he also doesnt talk to you much #attention when im upset is really irritating to me bc my dad would just stare forward when i cried as a kid so like #anything other than ignoring it feels like. hncomfortable and like im being rushed or smth #idk man. i hwve issues #but also like. ejndjfnf im like really really sad. but ill probably just always be sad kinda

[todayisafridaynight]

the worst part in being able to write sentences is that nothings stopping me from writing fics yk

#snap chats #i get inflicted with images and i MUST share them through art lest i die i know it's awful #like i keep being inflicted with images but my arm hurts too much to draw any more today #bitch ass arm why are you hurting. WHY are you hurting its not even my wrist it's my bicep?????? #anyway the problem with writing lies in writing up to the scene in question #not even 'scene' just like. A Visual that lasts Max five seconds but i need to project into people's brains #ive sketched a lot of things to finish on other days today. im still too intimidated to leave the house lest i run into Mother #so im just thinking of how to kill time now that i have nothing left to do today #ough id work on my june-sale comm sheet ad thing but my arm hurt.. as i said before.. #maybe tomorrow ill do it- or ill have it ready by monday #anyways. im gonna sit here and hallucinate and see if i come up with anything 5k words worthy #'snap you know you can just write the scene you want right. you know you can even just tell us what it is right' #1.) we know how i feel about saying things i wanna write/draw !!!!! i SUCK !!!!!!! #2.) i like build up... i like us getting there.. i hate me too its ok #ok hallucinating time. or i-grow-up-and-leave-the-house time idk we'll see in like an hour ig

[mrfoox]

Uh you ever.... Feel okay or pretty decent and then you remember your lifes circumstances and then you're at the verge of tears?

#miranda talking shit #Maybe this is too specific but hah yeah ... #I can feel okay and be like ah things are pretty good ! And then i remember how my life 'is' and im close to a breakdown #Trying nit to compare myself to others and so on but like.... Its so hard not to lmao #25 soon and no job havent finished high-school i got no partner (plus i guess a virgin lol) #And all the things i havent done or experienced which is pretty universal? Yeah mmm... Ive lost so much of my time and life to mental #Illness and i cant help but morn that. Like if i didnt have my child trauma id probably have a lot milder anxiety and depression which is #Keeping from doing most things... Id still have my autistic and add struggles but i want to imagine I'd manage to accomplish more if #My dep and anx wasn't this bad bc of my past... I hate how my mentality was wrecked before i even knew how to count to 100 #And sooo many years of my childhood just feeling bad and even suicidal (first time i mentioned wanting to die in my diary i was 10-11...) #Just struggling so many years mentally and since i was so young i couldn't make the connection why i was feeling like it? Like the first #Time i started considering why etc i was already like 16.... I didnt think it was weird to cry every single day as long as i can remember #Now at 25 i am still a crybaby but i do it weekly instead. Its just so ... Weird and sad. You dont understand how serious something was #That happened to you and how it affected you until youre almost an adult... And you start to understand that its not just all on you #Its not just your fault youre struggling so much. Youre not just being lazy and difficult ... God Just wish someone protected me when #It mattered . I know my past could have been worse i could have been treated a lot worse and abused more and still to this day it makes me #Feel iffy or bad to claim i was abused? I mean... I was? But cant help to feel my trauma and experiences is not as serious as others #Like i wasnt sexually abused for example or abused by my parents... And i know many have so i feel its not my ... Right to say anything ? #Like my brothers mentally abused me for years and physically from time to time but it could be so much worse #Idk where im going with this i need to go to my vourses instead im crying in the bathroom like stop #Negative

[itsanit]

Someone needs to draw and/or write about my characters bc I'm sure as shit not gonna

#i wanna see my boys so bad!!!!!! #i want them tp interact and i want to kiss each and every one of their foreheads!!!!! #but id rather die than write anything about them #and you might as well just shoot me if you think im gonna DRAW them #anyway if anyone wants to make the exact dating sim for my boys that i have in my head but better it would be greatly appreciated #esp if you could do it right now right this second #i shall reward you with a little kiss on the forehead #and also the $70 that i was gonna spend on preordering the new zelda game before i remembered i dont actually have a Nintendo account #so nintendo wont let me buy the game #which is weird bc i just want the physical disk thing?? not like a virtual copy so it should be none of their business whether i have an #account with them #like im giving you 70 dollars just send me the damn game when it officially releases #dont care if i have to wait a month for shipping #was probably gonna play it a month after release anyway bc ill be drowning in final projects come may #justwritersthings amirite #my posts