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#if you see any typos and/or inconsistencies no you didn't there was only so much research i could do when i was writing this
calenhads · 1 year
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collpase + catalina!!
21. collapse + catalina hawke
words: 1,251 warnings: canon-typical blood, violence, and presence of corpses
Though the dust was settling thickly over the ever-damp streets of Darktown, Catalina found that her heart could not — would not — do the same. It rattled like a wild thing inside her chest, desperately tearing at the bars of her ribs as if it might break free. Around the edges of her vision, the walls blurred with a thick fog. Likely the chokedamp that writhed and gathered in the darkest corners of this fucking maze. She scoffed, and tasted blood with it. Faintly, she remembered how it had sprayed from a fatal wound, her sword cleaved several inches deep into the meat of that Carta dwarf’s shoulder. Her mouth must have been hanging open, gasping for a breath or crying out in fury. Nose wrinkling, she spat copper-tinged and thick into the dirt at her feet. It wasn’t as if it wouldn’t blend right into the already-bloodied earth. "Oh, Bethy,” she began under her breath, kicking at a corpse petulantly, “this was easier when you could just burn them for me. Now I have to own a flint.” Catalina drew the aforementioned flint and steel from the pouch at her hip, ignoring how her whole body twinged at the motion. A hot bath later would sort that right out, if she could convince Bodahn to help her dredge up the water for it. It was easy enough to light up the pile, crouching low to the ground until the spark grew into a polite blaze, held at bay by the damp walls and the chokedamp that clung to them. Better to burn the bodies than to let them fester in this place.
She might have done so, once upon a time, before Anders and his steady insistence. Rot wrought disease in all places, even more so among the lowest of the low, trapped here away from the sun. It was assuredly selfish, but if Catalina could limit the visitors to Anders’ clinic, she would. Maybe then he would come home more nights than not.  A few long moments later, when she planted her hands steadily on her knees and pushed herself upright, a groan gusted past her lips. It slipped through her gritted teeth, unexpected and bright in the recesses of the Undercity. Her body ached. Dulled edges of pain grew sharp, whetted by the drain of adrenaline from her bones. Distantly, Catalina realized her side was too warm under her armor, that the fog clinging to the edge of her vision was not only gathered in the dark corners of the street. When she pressed a tentative hand to her ribs, it came back wet and warm — fresh then. “That’s not good,” she breathed through a weak chuckle, a sardonic curl to her lips. Anders would have her head this time, for sure.  Anders. Andersandersandersandersandersanders.  He would be able to help. He would give her an earful first for being so damn reckless, for going out alone, for being a fool with a god-complex. But he would help even as he grumbled, and he would press his lips to her forehead as his hand rested gentle and warm and glowing with magic across the span of her wound.  Catalina pressed her own hand to the steadily-bleeding wound at her side, and imagined it was his. Thinner, but with longer fingers, and steadier than her own. And she walked onward, disguising the pained limp of her gait, the easy target she would make so far away from home. It helped, too, that her hair remained matted with blood not her own, smeared where she had tried and failed to wipe her face clean. That her armor clanked forebodingly with every labored step.  As she walked, her mind wandered. Easier to think of bowls of milk left out for the strays and a lantern set out in the creeping darkness than to let her mind get caught on the jagged edges of torn skin. She was almost like a stray herself, she thought. Always showing up on his doorstep with a sad look about her. A dry laugh rumbled in her chest like a prayer, turning into a wet cough and a wince as she gripped more tightly at her side.  Blood bubbled up between her fingers, welling up and over and dripping into the dirt. It was stupid of her to leave such an obvious trail, but her mind was full of golden hair and golden eyes. Long, thin fingers with bony knuckles that poked and prodded and fit between her own. And it was growing darker around the edges, until all she had was a slipping hold on her side and the faint awareness of heavy steps plodding on. A lantern glowed faintly above, wavering like a mirage. Real? Catalina couldn’t tell, not with how her ears were ringing and her eyes refused to focus. They slid from brown-tinged wall to brown-tinged wall until she was dizzy with it, feet shuffling through the dust and dirt and waste without lifting up. She feared she might lose it entirely.
There was a door in front of her.  That hadn’t been there before, had it? Catalina didn’t remember seeing it. She would have remembered seeing it. She liked this door.  It was easy enough to sag against the doorframe, her pauldron connecting heavily with the wood. Later, there would be a dent left behind, a reminder that they had lived and loved and survived in this place. But now there was only the dull metallic edge digging into an old, dry plank.  After a pause — only a moment, but feeling so much longer for the way her vision blurred and her head swam — the door creaked open. A beam of golden light from the lantern above her head slipped through the crack, illuminating a man peering out. For a brief, kismet moment her vision focused and all that mattered was him. Anders.  “Hawke?” he asked, brows pinched in worry and eyes narrowed in strain against the blue lines that threatened to overtake them.  Unable to help herself, Catalina grinned at him, baring bloodied teeth as she leaned more heavily against the doorway. “Miss me?” she teased, voice slurring, before she collapsed forward and into him.  Anders grunted under the sudden weight, the breath knocked from his lungs even as his arms reflexively wrapped around her middle to support her.  “I missed you,” she admitted quietly, morose now as she tucked her nose into the space between his feathered cape and his neck, sighing heavily. He was so warm like this, comfortable even through the clinical scent of antiseptic and the heavier shroud of putrefaction that lay over him. She knew she smelled the same. Life and Death always had a funny way of taking after one another. “I know, dear. I missed you too.” The blue light had faded now into nothingness. Catalina sighed into the crook of his neck in answer, some of the lingering tension draining out her body. His hand, slender and clever, swept soothingly over her side and in its wake was the warm tingle of magic knitting her skin back together.  “Come, let’s get you to bed,” he murmured, walking her towards one of the empty cots with all the professionalism any man could muster with a grown woman clinging to him like a burr. Catalina only nodded, stepping weakly in time with him as if they were dancing a waltz. They were certainly close enough to have been. “We’ll talk in the morning. Now sleep, Lina.”
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Ah yes, the time has come.
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It's time to get your pen and paper because class is in session!
There's plenty of things I could talk about and I pretty much covered the basics down below, but I'm more than willing to help y'all out with anything specific!
I have to preface that I'm not an English major by any means nor do I have any experience writing professionally, the things listed below are purely based on my opinions and submissions I have received.
Writing is forever a learning process, there really isn't a right way of writing but there are definitely some things that will hinder your readers. Here is a list that I compiled both with my own experiences as well as some user submitted issues when it comes to reading works:
•Big blocks of text
° Typos/wrong word usage
•Using the same words
°Too spaced out/not indented where needed
• Dialogue runs into normal sentences
° Speakers/POVs change without notice
• Inconsistencies, either in general or story inconsistencies
°Lack of description/Too much description
• Bland/Artificial actions/dialogue
° Misuse of punctuation/lack thereof
• Capitalization errors
° Long winded sentences
• Using italics for actions
° Confusing formating
• Changing in Tenses
° Using wrong tags/falsely advertising (ex. Reader x Blank should have Y/N, not an OC/Authors name)
• Author notes/comics/pictures in middle of fic
° "~This is a transition~"
• Forcing a character to be OOC for sake of story
° Filler characters
• Not sticking to a specific genre/jumpy moods
Now don't be intimidated by this list! Some of these are pretty self explanatory so I won't go into a few of them. There are plenty of ways to avoid these and in some cases it is perfectly fine to use any of the above. 
Let's start off with the basics!
Sentence structure is the backbone of writing, but it's a very flexible rule. Obviously you have your subject, verb, object and whatnot, but the true art lies in word choice and length.
When it comes to sentences, size does matter. If your sentences are too short they will seem choppy and unfinished, whereas if they are long they will seem winded and unnatural. The biggest tool you can use to find out if a sentence is too short/long is by reading it aloud! If you run out of breath it's too long but if you finish abruptly it's too short.
Word choice is my favorite weapon to work with, I could describe a blue jay as a normal bird or as a mythical animal just by picking the right words!
"The blue jay flew across the field while it sang it's melody."
Or
"A creature with wings made of clouds swooped across the field whilst roaring out a devilish tune."
Word choice can easily convey tone/feeling so it's definitely an important element to writing! If you ever have trouble finding that perfect word try googling for synonyms! Also this website might help you find that one word that you just can't think of!
Grammar is also a very important part of writing. Using the right words and punctuation can be difficult sometimes but there are some easy fixes!
Spelling is an easy fix, if you forgot/don't know how to spell a word consulting a dictionary or Google is a surefire way of solving your problem. You can even find synonyms if you feel like you've used a word too much. 
Punctuation on the other can be a big more difficult, however. 
Here's a couple of sentences that helped me learn basic punctuation:
A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink then leaves. Commas are a means of sewing two sentences together to form a compound sentence. These are mainly used to list out things and to add fluidity to your works so they don't sound as choppy.
A question mark walks into a bar? Question marks are pretty self explanatory. They either raise a question or form uncertainty.
Two quotation marks "walk" into a bar. Quotations are used for both dialogue and metaphors. I personally love using them for sarcasm!
A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to drink. This one is a tougher one that I personally never learned from any of my classes. A gerund is basically a word that can act as a verb or a noun which would be "drinking". An infinitive is the base of a verb, in this case it's "drink".
The bar was walked into by a passive voice. A passive voice is when you emphasize the action and object of a sentence rather than the subject. You can find that a passive voice tends to use past tense where as an active voice uses present/future tense.
Three intransitives walk into a bar. They sit. They drink. They leave. An intransitive verb is an action verb, expressing a doable activity like arrive, go, lie, sneeze, sit, die, etc.
Some other things that I commonly see are the wrong usages of words. For example:
They: a group of individuals/pronoun "Yeah, they said he'd be here thirty minutes ago."
Their: a possessive pronoun "Leave their stuff alone!'
There: location "What's that over there?"
Then: event/action "Val went to the mall then skittered to the park."
Your: possessive "Your self esteem is lower than the Mariana's Trench!"
You're: a conjunctive "you are"
Affect: caused by actions "The fallen french fry really affected Val's mood."
Effect: caused by events "Climate change has a negative effect on my Cheerios."
Peaked: a summit "Val has peaked at 10:19pm"
Piqued: stimulate interest/curiosity "You have piqued Val's interest by mentioning food."
Do time: "Val is fixin' to do time if she keeps slacking."
Due time: "Val will come with hydration in due time."
Per say: not a thing
Per se: by/in itself "She didn't write this late at night, per se…"
There are different tools you can use to spice up your writings, from metaphors to innuendos, all the way to zeugmas! Let's go over the basic definitions of these bad boys.
Metaphor: a figure of speech that is not literally applicable. "The darkness surrounded us like a shroud." Obviously the darkness can't physically shroud anyone.
Innuendo: a sentence with a hidden meaning "Is that a gator in your pants or are you just happy to see me~" 
Zeugma: a sentence containing words that can be used literally and figuratively, like a love child of the two above. "Val and her coupon expired last week." This implies that not only did my Colgate coupon expire, but I died as well.
Paragraphs are a necessity when it comes to writing. Big blocks of text are an eyestrain to readers and it's easy to lose your place, even if it's only 150 words. It's always best to use Tab or at least 5 spaces when indenting. A paragraph should only be 5-7 sentences long, this is so it's not just multiple blocks of text
When to add a new paragraph:
° A new person comes in
• New idea/context
° Setting changes
• New person is speaking
° Time changes
• The "camera" moves
° Tone shifts
• 5-7 sentences has been reached
Paragraphs help you organize your work in a way and they make it easier for your readers' eyes!
POVs are also very important. First person and third person are by far the most common ones so I'll only touch on these two. It's very important to write a story in one strict POV as to not confuse the readers. You can however jump perspectives like Heroes of Olmpyus by Rick Rodian, as long as the ready can easily tell who is telling the story.
First person is a story that is told from first-hand experience. It's the same as if I told y'all the story on how I almost chopped off my thumb in woodshop class back in middle school. First person tends to use a lot of I's and my's
Third person is a story that is told from a narrators' point of view. Such as "Once upon a time" type of stories. I's and my's should only be used in dialogue
Dialogue is probably one of the most important features of any fic/story. Dialogue can push plots forward as well as add life to a character. Here's a simple exchanged:
"Hiya 'Splodey," Val chirped.
Katuski smirked, "M'dumbass."
Dialogue should always come with a pair of quotation marks. Commas and periods generally go inside the quotation marks whereas dashes, colons, and semicolons almost always go outside the quotation marks. Question marks and exclamation marks however can go either inside or outside, it goes by a case by case basis. Always indent whenever a different speaker is talking, running quotes into each other is a no-go because it causes confusion and eyestrain.
You have to be wary of using simple dialogue exchanges though, if they seem off try saying them out loud! Dialogue is one of my favorite things to write because you can weave personality into them, not to mention you can always hear people talking to get a better idea on how to write dialogue.
For example, I have a southern dialect, meaning I sound different than someone from the north! I use words like "y'all", "fixin'", "finna", "ain't" and have a different vocabulary than that of my northern friends. This means that the characters you're portraying should have their own way of speaking! This will not only add flavor to your dialogue but it also adds to their personalities/backgrounds.
Describing things can be just as valuable as dialogue, but it is a bit more complex. Sure we've all heard of the "show, don't tell" rule. Which is a good rule to follow, however too much showing is just as bad as telling. Again, reading out your work is a great way to tell if you're focusing too much on one thing. Another thing to keep in mind is importance, such as do we really need to know that the grass outside was bluegrass? Which in certain situations it would be! For example:
The grass around the disheveled house was brown and straw-like, with the exception of a ring of grass. Bluegrass. Which wasn't even native to this location.
This paints a pretty good spooky picture in the readers' mind and even adds the element suspense by the implied uncertainty.
I've only covered a small portion of writing so if y'all have any questions or need any help feel free to slide into my DMs or send in an ask! I love getting questions about writing and I'm always willing to help a fellow writer!
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