#if you have never heard a grown man shriek over a Twitter post

[call-me-maggie13]

If anyone is wondering what the United States Navy listens to on deployment, I will tell you. It is mostly @taylorswift. There’s a little bit of Disney music and some country songs, but it’s mostly Taylor Swift.

Now picture this: the scariest man you know, big and mean and scary, screaming and crying and singing Marjorie into a mop handle. Now picture 20 or so young men choreographing a dance routine to Style. In their uniforms. Now picture a guys vs. gals dance-off to I Forgot That You Existed.

My chief would yell at anyone who tried to play a non-Taylor’s version of any of her songs. We would argue about the best Taylor ballads during watch and had album release parties the day after folklore and evermore dropped. You have not lived until you have dissected Taylor Swift song lyrics with four grown men in dress blues while an officer tries to redirect us. Nothing will ever compare to my SLPO sending us home early because he found out she was releasing folklore and he needed to “emotionally prepare” himself (he bought three bottles of wine).

I know everyone assumes we talked about sports or whatever but you can’t really keep up with those in the middle of the ocean, so we spent a lot of time listening to music because there are only so many stories a person can tell. Unless you’re Taylor Swift, then there’s a never ending supply.

These are the people the US government has defending the country.

One of my buddies just got back from deployment and she’s a submariner so they really really don’t get any news from outside the boat and she sent me a multitude of snaps of her reacting to midnights and the eras tour. There was a lot of screaming and crying and curses. I have never been happier to be out of the military than I was when I realized she has to catch up on the last six months of Taylor lore and Easter eggs.

#the United States Navy is a swiftie #I can confirm #I was in the United States Navy #the only thing everyone could agree on was that Taylor is the music industry #my SLPO took off the day after she released folklore for “mental health” #he did the same afte she released evermore #he had a countdown in his office that he refused to tell anyone what it was for #it was for her birthday #there was one guy who said Taylor swift sucked and he got midnight watch every night and extra duty for a week #if you have never heard a grown man shriek over a Twitter post #join the navy #I’m kidding don’t do that #but Taylor #if you’re reading this #the United States military loves you more than our country #if you ran for President the entirety of the military would vote for you #on behalf of the United States military #taylor we thank you for your service #and we give you all of our support #i love you taylor #dr taylor swift #taylor swift #folklore taylor swift #taylor swift evermore #taylor swift eras #taylor allison swift #dr Taylor Allison swift #taylornation #taylors version #not wn related