#if you can't idk what to tell you except that maybe you ain't been here long enough to see how this shit GOES LEFT REAL QUICK

[hungerpunch]

stop engaging the person with a huge fanbase and giant platform about rpf ships!!!! stop engaging the person with [checks] almost 40k followers + monstrous amplification power through reposts, reblogs, screencaps, etc. about rpf ships!!! stop it stop it stop it STOP IT!!!!!!

#richard siken #f1 #yeah i'll put it in his mf tag #THIS LEADS TO HARASSMENT #talk to him about fandom. sure. talk to him about writing fic fine! talk to him about shipping culture sure! #STOP ASKING HIM AND TALKING TO HIM ABOUT SPECIFIC RPF SHIPS THAT INVOLVE REAL FUCKING PEOPLE OH MY FUCKING GOD #STOP TALKING TO THE ////FAMOUS POET//// ABOUT RPF SHIPS #this is why we can't have nice things #i'm sooooo oh my god i feel so ancient and crabby. can y'all have common mf sense for once in your LIVES!!!! #CAN YOU NOT SEE THE VERY OBVIOUS FALLOUT WHERE REAL PEOPLE ARE TAGGED AND BOMBARDED WITH GRAPHICS AND WORDS THAT A FAMOUS POET SAID #ABOUT THEM FUCKING ONE OF THEIR COWORKERS #CAN YOU NOT SEE THE TINHATS TAKING ALL THIS SHIT AND TWISTING IT INTO 'PROOF' #if you can't idk what to tell you except that maybe you ain't been here long enough to see how this shit GOES LEFT REAL QUICK #fandom talk

[axailslink]

(Series idea maybe) What if Shuri and Riri were in a relationship and were looking for a third (the reader) just to spice up their sex life. Only for them to slowly want to make her an addition to their actual relationship outside of just sex. It’s like a slow burn type beat idk I hope this made sense 😭

Shuri Udaku and Riri Williams

Shuriri x poc FEM reader

A/n: I love writing for my two wives but this takes the cake because my polyamorous ass feels so included. (Also bruh tell me why there are heels that are like 795 dollars...I would never.) Sadly this will not have that slow burn feeling because I don't want to have to write a part 2 I have plenty of those that need to be done already.

Summary: Shuri and Riri have been looking for something different and you're just the right kind of different.

Snippet from the fic: “ "Riri grabs her hand and shakes it as if to get her point across more "not only can she leave me speechless she put you in your place last night and to top it off she cooking breakfast. If we can't marry her can we at least fuck her again?" ”

Shuri pulls out Riri's seat for her as she sits and Shuri sits across from her. The dinner goes as usual except they just can't keep their eyes off you, the beautiful woman sitting alone in a five-star restaurant. At first, they only speak with their eyes as they stare you up and down Riri's the first to break the silence "she's alone" Shuri nods "she's been alone since we came in...think she's waiting on someone?" Riri stares you up and down taking in everything from your red bottom heels to your black skin tights dress and then to your watch. "I don't like to assume but she is definitely waiting for a sugar daddy...or mommy" Shuri laughs and that catches your attention you glance over at the table next to your own and catch both of their glances. You smile sweetly and sip your drink without letting your gaze leave either one of them for too long. You eye Riri first taking in her form in her dress before smiling and turning your attention to Shuri who's wearing a black suit you smile at them both it's cute short as you return your attention to your drink. Shuri glances at Riri as she thinks out loud "we talked recently about how we wanted something different in the bedroom. I don't know what it is but...she's different." Riri nods as she continues to stare at you but you pay them both no mind as you look over the menu and cross your legs. You can't lie and say you're not wondering what they both look like naked because that's all you're thinking of when a man walks over and smiles at you. "Are you here to take my order?" He just laughs cockily and you immediately get an ick that makes your skin crawl "no" before he can ask his intended question you turn your attention back to your menu "no? I didn't even get to a-" "no" you give this man the most piercing stare and smile "fuck. No" he makes a face of disgust as if he wasn't expecting such words to come from such a beautiful woman's mouth. "You ain't even all th-" you smile and sip your drink when a waiter comes over "sir if you continue bothering customers I'll have to ask to leave" You look at him and think for a moment "no he's fine actually he can have this table could I join another table?" You point to Riri and Shuri "those two and I'd like to pay for their meal" the man smiles politely "I don't think that's possible miss..." You cock your brow and sit up "think? Is it possible or not possible?" He shakes her head "I can make it work would you like me to guide you to your seat?" You shake your head "no thank you." You get up grab your wallet and drink as you make your way to their table with a slow but beautiful walk one that catches the gaze of many including Shuri and Riri. Riri looks over first before looking at Shuri "excuse me ladies do you mind if I sit? I hate being alone you two look like the perfect company." Shuri nods and Riri stutters to get her words out "n-not at all" you smile at her thinking she's cute before turning your attention back to Shuri as you sit in the chair legs crossed revealing the slit that's mid-thigh in your black long dress. you stare Shuri down and smile as you hum

"Shuri Udaku and Riri Williams two geniuses how does that work in bed?" You lean back in your chair glancing at them both "I bet she makes you a moaning mess-" you point to Riri but then turn back to Shuri "or is it the other way around?" Shuri smiles at your interest in their sex life "would you like to find out?" you laugh as you lean back you don't verbally answer instead you stare at Shuri and stir your drink. Riri is staring at you hard right now waiting for an answer waiting for the invite both of them need "well...my house does get cold with the kind of weather we're having. Are you two searching for an invitation?" Riri can't stop the smile that spreads on her face.

•°•°🤎•°•°🤎•°•°🤎•°•°🤎•°•°•°🤎•°•°🤎•°•°🤎•°•°🤎•°•°

Shuri and Riri are obviously a bit skeptical about you they don't know you but all those worries are tossed out the window when you invite them into your home. As soon as the door is shut and locked you're pulling Shuri by her blazer and Riri by her hand up the stairs behind you. you waste no time when you're finally in your room "I'm a very important woman you will speak of "this" to no one understood?" Shuri raises a brow and Riri nods immediately wishing you will shut up and just kiss her already her wishes are instantly filled when you pull her to you and plant a soft kiss on her lips. you smile while Shuri watches the way Riri folds underneath your touch even one as soft as the one she's just received but the whimper that leaves her lips doesn't go unnoticed. "Riri" Riri nods as she looks at you and you know right now that you have her attention all of it so you finally give her a kiss worth waiting for and it's nothing like the one she recirved a moment ago her hands are quick to roam your body while you're still holding onto Shuri by her blazer keeping her close. Shuri watches intently something like this would usually piss her off but it's doing nothing of the sort it's making her jealous and not in the "get your hands off my girl' jealous more of the "where the fuck is my attention?" When you finally pull away from Riri your eyes stay glued to her for a moment not able to tear them from her not while she's looking up at you the way she is but Shuri tears your gaze from her when her tattooed hand grabs your face firmly. you stare at her loving the way her expression is cold and degrading as she looks at you but you don't just give in you smile at her as you carefully unbutton her blazer "jealousy is a great look on you sadly I enjoy when one waits their turn." your hands pause as her blazer is undone and you pull away turning your attention back to Riri this time she doesn't wait for you to initiate the kiss she instead pulls you to her by your waist and leans up pressing a firm kiss to your lips.

The kiss is long and makes you gasp for air sometime in between she unzips your dress letting it loosen around your figure and you feel Shuri's cold hands gently guide the straps from your shoulders. The dress easily glides down your body and so do Shuri's hands as they trace behind it her hands crawl over your naked chest cupping your breast "your girlfriend is impatient" you mumble as you pull away from Riri. Riri smiles in return "so am I" you watch as Riri gets on her knees in front of you. She carefully grabs your foot taking off the heel while Shuri hooks her fingers into your underwear gently and slowly pulling them down.

you're so used to being the one giving all of the attention to the other when it comes to something so intimate so to be felt up like this is something different it's something you're not used to. you close your eyes as the two fully undress you before leading you to the bed.

•°•°🤎•°•°🤎•°•°🤎•°•°🤎•°•°•°🤎•°•°🤎•°•°🤎•°•°🤎•°•°

When both Shuri and Riri wake they're met with an empty bed but the smell of food pulls them both downstairs you set a plate of steak and eggs on the island. Your current state has them both wondering what the hell happened to the high and confident y/n they'd met last night? there is no sign of her now as you're standing in your bonnet, undergarments, and fuzzy slippers. "you two hungry?" Shuri and Riri share a glance before Shuri speaks "for breakfast or..?" Riri nods "yeah what she asked" you laugh and shake your head "breakfast."

The two women can't help but ogle at you as you cook them up some breakfast they share a whisper conversation in-between "you know we've got to marry her?" Riri whispers first and Shuri laughs "what?" Riri grabs her hand and shakes it as if to get her point across more "not only can she leave me speechless she put you in your place last night and to top it off she cooking breakfast. If we can't marry her can we at least fuck her again?" Shuri bursts into laughter as you place a plate in front of them both. "I have to leave in about two hours I have a meeting" you mumble as you sit in your plush felt chair with crossed legs and eat. you try not to stare at them but you can feel both of their stares on you already so you glance up "is something wrong with the food?" Both women shake their heads no "no the food is good."

you're finally in the process of getting dressed when Shuri speaks "we've got a flight to catch later and Riri is hellbent on having me ask if you'll join us in Wakanda. I could show you some of the sights Riri wants to show you the lab." you pull your slacks on and smile at her. "Join you? If you want to date me you should make that clear." Riri walks over to stop the strap-measuring contest before it starts "yeah we want to date you" you stare Shuri up and down "I know you want to date me Riri but what about you Shuri? Is that why you want me to visit you in Wakanda?" Shuri smiles as she glances at your lips "I date to marry." Riri watches this little interaction and checks her phone "Oh my God Shuri just say yes she's not giving up." Shuri shushes her as you continue staring at her "you don't have to answer because I want to date you both and like you said I date to marry." Shuri smiles but before she can back up you plant a soft kiss on her lips causing her smile to grow wider she turns around quickly and you laugh at the sudden shyness. Riri rolls her eyes "awn you jealous?" Riri shrugs "I ain't jealous but I mean it is a bit unfair she gets a kiss and I'm just sitting here looking a-" you don't let her finish as you peck her lips softly "we good?" she nods "mhm."

After everyone had had the chance to her dressed you usher both of the women out of your house and lock it up as you're heading towards the car both watch "I'll catch you both at the airport." Shuri smiles and Riri shakes her head as she watches you get in your car "damn." Riri shakes her head and laughs as she starts the car "we should have made her breakfast."

A/n: If yall only knew how old this request was like damn it ain't even funny but I was procrastinating about this one so much. I hate writing Shuriri fics truthfully because there's just too much going on however I love shuriri x reader too much to not write it.

Taglist:

@verachii

@mocha-aya

@shuriszn

@lolas-bunny

@louderfortheback

@lucillele

@shuri-lover

@quintessencewrites

@zestgodtj

@yamsthoughts

@sokkasbae255

@saintwrld

@tuesdaylovesu

@rxcently

@yvxmpire

@lunax0654

@homie0sapien

@karimwillia

@adeola-the-explorer

@garbagesleepschedule

@bratydoll

@gubrii

@vampphasecomplete

@ctrl-liah

@trixielwt

@6-noir

@annoyingtidalwavequeen

@atssukoo

@shuri-my-love

@inmyheadimobsessed

@letitias-fav

@rxcently

@iwillbiteabitch

@malltake12

@mxyx-rx444

@kiwidreamersstuff

@secretgyals

@awarm-sundaynight

@shurisnewbabymomma

@shurisbigtoe

@darkangelchronicles

@writesbyriri

@locoforshuri

@mbakuetshurisprincess

#shuriri x reader #shuriri #shuri x fem!reader #shuri imagine #shuri x reader #shuri black panther #black panther shuri #mcu shuri #shuri x you #letitia wright shuri #queen shuri #shuri #shuri fluff #shuri fanfiction #shuri fic #shuri udaku x reader #shuri udaku #shuri udaku x riri williams #shuri udaku x black!reader #shuri x riri #shuri x y/n #riri x fem reader #riri imagine #riri x reader #riri williams x reader #riri williams #riri williams imagine #riri williams x black!reader #riri williams black panther #riri x black!reader

[icannotgetoverbirds]

it takes a village

tbh this could be put to music, if someone wants to then maybe I'll sing it, but apparently im not half-bad at writing songs so like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Wildfire

the dragon beast burned our shit i grabbed on and didn't let go you and me, we fought against it until it was no more

and oh we were so tired exhausted, wiped out, just done and i think about how im wired wasn't this supposed to be fun?

so tell me, my dear love why oh why is it happening again raining from the maw above and what did we do then?

I said, well maybe, it's time for a burn Maybe there's a better way, maybe we need to learn You said 'you're on your own, kid, and this is your fault, so" hum idk

Chorus:

Get it together, man Get outta this house Pull your head from the sand Practice what you espouse

Maybe you need some help Ain't that what family is for Too bad they won't scruff this whelp Cause they're just too damn poor

End chorus

So you worked and worked and worked and I rested i guess way too much "Dontcha know god's labor's never shirked? You should be doing as such"

Beholden to no god except each other Beholden to the safety of my mother What do you do when home's not home What do you do when you're alone?

Chorus:

Get it together, man Get outta this house Pull your head from the sand See what you espouse

Maybe you need some help Ain't that what family is for Too bad they won't carry this whelp Cause they're just too damn poor

End chorus

So home was a house again Never to return, I hope I went through some real shit then God, what a tired trope

Traffic's no place to play, you know Better than that sad place, though I saw the mountains, close enough To walk up to them, sure it'd be tough

bridge:

It'd be worth it It's all been worth it This world wants me dead the people want me alive it's just like i said i can't work a nine to five (right now i hate being right)

new chorus:

I got something going, man I'm outta house My head's a bit fogged and well, at least there's no louse

I'm getting some good help Aint that what family is for The world's gotta carry this old whelp Now that he's damn poor

end chorus and song(?)

anyways maybe i could add more to the end of it but it already feels pretty long. could also do some editing in general but here y'all go lmao

#aka #it takes a village #byrd writes #byrd's writing #tw suicide mention #byrd chirps

[vioisgoinginsane]

Silvio chapter 14-15

THEY ARE FINALLY CAUGHT UP WITH THE PLOT INSTEAD OF 10 STEPS BEHIND thanks chev, for bringing us up to plot but also, what the hell do you mean the king of benitoite AND THE OBSIDIAN EMPEROR is gonna be involved in this??? *cold sweats*

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 RIO I LOVE YOU AND WE'RE GONNA, GET THROUGH THIS TOGETHER

FUXK OFF

HOW FUCKING DARE YOU KIDNAP MY MAN

Oh but at least MC knows they're brothers now but silvio got some kinda reason to not tell him anything about himself. It might even be one we already know but i forgot cuz I've obviously haven't been paying attention to the right things... I've been paying attention to the.... Pretty things instead. 👀

There's only ONE revolting creep around here and I'm looking at him.

....

.......

Oh my god did he just make me defend Chev?????

Also he tells me never to talk alone with gilbert again cuz I suck at lying, which is true, fine, i can't say otherwise. That would be the smart thing to do (good thing I'm either stupid or insane)

Hm... I think could chug on that cool aid, if i didn't get MORE of a kick out of surprising him.

Oh no darling, mc, you didn't underestimate gil exactly! He was always gonna be worse than you can possibly imagine!! So of course trying to imagine it was pretty pointless! (Says woman with a unique tag for my gilbert overthinking and theories)

"In a way that's worse than solving things with violence"

It is?.... Oh shit yeah, that's right it is... BAD. very bad. Very bad for us....But i don't think I could say it's WORSE than the senseless violence of war, it's just taking the field over to the mental realm instead of just the physical one. I have no idea what this dude does with a country once he conquers it and, realistically, i don't really wanna fuck around and find out about that for sure. .. But choosing to do things diplomatically, so as to minimize damage on your citizen and your army when your country is known for getting into a bunch of wars sounds damn near revolutionary by their standards.

*to myself* stay STRONG violet, stay STRONG...

Holy fuckinh shit they finally wrote an avatar story (normal mind you) that doesn't disgust me! (How is this... This route's biggest achievement so far??) It's just MC unintentionally giving silvio some strength cuz she genuinely can't imagine him bowing down whatever whim the king has if he doesn't agree to it and apparently that was too gosh darn cute of her not to merit a hug and then they're both blushing

If

If only rio wasn't at the door to see that 😭

And Gilbert two steps behind him for part two of his mansplain gasslight manipulate session

Gggggggggghhh yalls don't know how much I'm eating up how the foil to being able to manipulte people like that is to have a surprising amount of empathy. Again. What fucked you up like this????

Also YOU AND YOUR STUPID POOR LITTLE MEOW MEOW LOOK. NO. YA AIN'T GETTING THE BEST OF ME

🙃if you force it upon people then it's not kindness *bonks him* (I'll have a jester's death, thanks)

SILVIO I'M NOT SURE AND I DON'T WANNA JUMP TO CONCLUSIONS BUT I GET A FEELING LIKE MAYBE IT WOULDN'T HAVE WENT LIKE THIS IF YOU TOLD RIO ABOUT HIS MEMORIES IDK MAN

K so after this... I'm not sure if gil got what he wanted (... I should probably assume yes gil always gets what he wants...) But rio started making up excuses so MC doesn't go see silvio and when she asks what Thats about rio just asks her to stay away so he doesn't hurt her, HE'S LITERALLY BEGGING ME HOW HE NEVER HAS BEFORE GAME HOW TF AM SUPPOSED TO DO THAT TO HIM????

Oh and silvio's sulking about missing (won't admit it tho) and getting drunk with keith and complaining about women

And keith's like "dude that's NOT all women. How do you have luck so terrible with women??" And we know the answer is mommy issues with a side of "this is just what being rich and a prince is like" except it isn't cuz I've seen the women that confess to valerio. They fall in love with him cuz he's considerate, kind, attentive (altho he only ever did anything for himself and according to him it wasn't "real kindness" but he was never needlessly cruel either) anyways, silvio and his stupid dumbass think mc's gonna show her true colors that she's nasty like all women so yeah his, denial and bias issues are still going strong

#a certain shitty jangling dog

[hangmanblog450]

[Personal safety blog.]

Two days ago, I had something good happen to me. I saw a woman buying gas with her dog and it really affected me positively. Like; I'll remember it. It'll be important to me for the rest of my life. It'll always matter, it just personally affected me in a positive way. I'd try to thank her in some way if I could. I guess it's nothing to hold oneself at fault for if you can't summon the ability to thank someone for something like that so I'll just say it made my world a little better. Maybe I'm just stealing a certain feeling that was meant for someone else. I'm weird like that. Like, I'm the kind of person who likes being alone, searching for things, idk, guess it may have been because it was right before July 4th. It triggered a feeling of nostalgia.

There's a "help wanted" sign on the door of the gas station. I keep going back to that day in my memory; thinking about it like I'm holding a sea shell to my ear. It quiet's the listless chatter. I got stalled in my driveway today; must of been a church letting out. I wish i could get help with my car. What happened that day; July 2nd; it helped my mind. I wish i could go back to that feeling. It feels like I took something for granted here. It's one of those things that makes me tilt my head and say "huh". It's good for people to see that kind of thing. It feels like i let it get fragmented in my mind; Like I didn't save all the things that happened and i let it get forgotten. It makes me think of my grandfather in a way. I never had one growing up so i wonder sometimes rather or not that effected how my personality turned out; sorta' like how never having attended a wedding may have. How he saved up the corners in his liquor bottles and added them up to make enough to fill a glass when he was hard up.

Saw a librarian at the gas station a while back, too, odd. I've been alone this whole time; I was so afraid of hurting their feelings I hurt my own.

It made me feel young again but in a bad way. It led to a sketchy feeling. It made me feel rewarded, and that's saying something because im not the sort of person who expects instant rewards. It's really hard to remember every little thing about it. And it's sensitive to recapture the feeling it led to. It's just sensitive. That's the only word i can think of to describe it. Sensitive; it's such a modern word.. And it's sensitive to believe some of the things that result from social media reactions. It's hard to except how seriously people take themselves on there. "How dare they send me a friend request." "That's what it's there for." Sensitive, like an animal. Sensitive feelings. Things here lately aren't easy for me. It's scary walking out my door because of how often my car breaks down. It's something most people don't have to worry about; especially people who live in gated communities. My car is my monster. It fails me and it's led to some terrifying walks home. And that is difficult for me. I tell myself it's ok, that it's just about nullification and coordination, but, It's sensitive.

Shit, sympathy, syphilis. You shouldn't give people the satisfaction of a reply. Melodrama..like Vic off Young & the Restless; Ann off Days of Our Lives; Ashley off As The World Turns. Idk; you wanna' do i you gonna' do it; You Don't Wanna' Do It You Ain't Gonna' Do It. Forging for something to eat mentally, and just cause i don't get stone cold homosexual on some motherfucker straight off the get-go doesn't mean i don't care..

Also in response to a post i saw about someone saying women should just stop having sex if they don't want babies and men not being able to except no for an answer i just want to say i haven't asked anyone for that recently so i don't know what to say. I mean infants; you just spend two and a half years teaching them how to speak English, sugaring them up, and then you spend the rest of your life trying to get them to shut up. Unless you like your kids, which some people do. I just like searching for things, and being alone. I've seen some hard arguments result from custody battles so i guess ill just back off the topic. I think most women just want a blow-up doll anyway. "Inflating your self-esteem endlessly? Sheiiiiiiiiiit ill just pull the rug out from under your ass and go back to being mean."

These next few years could be hard for me. At least something nice happened the other day. Something calm, for a change. Last year went by fast enough; maybe this year will wind up the same. Hope the car troubles end some day. Goodness, the old saying: "If you're looking for sympathy you'll find it between shit and syphilis in the dictionary." holds true. I can think of five instances where i've had to walk home and had no luck getting a ride. Just once where some redneck in a van drove me and one other i won't get into. Took me a quarter hour to geter' to start at the grocery store couple months back. Had to walk home from a gas station not even two months ago. It also broke down at car wash, a thrift shop, and two-lane. Seems i've inherited some bad luck every since that madman stuff that happened to me around Christmas a few years back.

On a lighter note; i commented earlier on a post about the sacred tradition of autism being handed down from generation to generation and i think some chicks might be that way about dancing. Like it's good that you can saunter so gracefully about the stage but it's like, i get worried you'll get nerve damage or something. Don't get too worried about your diet either. "Yeah man them rolls give you diariah." "Yeah well i gotta' right to eat what i want."

The takeaway from all this? Idk. Playstation? Hell run from it i guess. Mortal combat? Invented by a buncha' weirdos probably. Guess some things are just skin-deep. It's strange how my ex has one reason to like me and two reasons to hate me. Guess there isn't much takeaway after all. It's still important though. Hammond thought of it 1st. It matters, like it's personal...we're both adults right? It's not my fault is it? Is it something i said?

Speaking of conscientious enterprises...You know letters only say so much. Roughly half the time fussing only leads to so much. More than they say sometimes. Can't go back right? Done there...The take away from all this? What the hell? I'll try to lurk for the hell of it instead of editing so much. I'm getting tired. Both are making my eyes tired. The seasons drag on slowly...don't wanna' end up lamenting and forsaken. Mastermind, a clinic in Houston, Texas...my eyes are getting tired but i wish they were more tired. Living in debt.

She has five favs; Sheryl Crow. Marley & Me; Flowers; Ford Focuses, and Apple Pie. It's very perceptive of her to point out that scene in that book. She rolled in; dug everything out & found the one scene in one of my favorite books that matters. It matters to be seen; it's rewarding when someone of significance pays you attention; when they treat you like you exist, and likewise it's not always your fault when someone projects their emotions on you negatively. They say no one's perfect; but sometimes you just see someone at exactly the right time, and it's like you remember it as something that breaks the fall of a bad memory.

Evreyday in everyway I'm getting better & better. Just have to cultivate patience.

#recyclemycorpse #whinyblog

[eatsbop]

Tulio anger management post

It's like what Annie Wilkes said, he didn't get out of the cock-a-doodie car.

Peetee let me down and if anything, it's because he's lazy.

Maybe I'm not qualified to nitpick like wtf I ain't shit but you know, it just pisses me off like I've been holding this in, bro. I tried my best. I'm here for the hell of it but it's been pissing me off so bad for so long.

Anyway, idk where to even start.. but let's just talk about my major beef.

He didn't get out the cock-a-doodie car. In the last chapter rocketman was stuck in a car and it careened down a cliff.. but then next chapter they show us, rocketman is safe. He got out of the car after all.

Annie was right about that one thing, that ain't playing fair.

It's just fucking lazy writing, bro. Like sure, I'm glad my guy is fine. Han Wanguk gets squashed by the hydraulic press one chapter then NO he ACTUALLY didn't, fooled ya. Baek Seongjoon had given up the last of his ghost, NO actually he didn't. He's actually fueled by the power of love. What the fuck, Romeo.

Okay, sure. Let's say we can forgive the whole Wanguk thing. Things happened before Jenny left the cargo container. But can you explain what SJ's little office tantrum was for then? What about his 5 ep flashback? Okay, let's say the whole beating up and almost crippling a bunch of teenagers is his attempt to maintain his cover cause you know, he's still hoping his little jig to infiltrate Taesan's ranks hadn't completely collapsed just yet. What was he being so dramatic in his office for? Did Jenny install security cameras in SJ's control room to monitor him like a lab rat? Doubt it. Then later he showed us a panel of SJ calling his dad-in-law, "ooh don't get mad at yoo hobin uwuwu". What? What what. Make it make sense.

You know the whole bad-guy-actually-sweet-guy worked for Taehoon's case cause meowmeow had a build up. I don't know why Peetee's so keen on recycling ideas that he sold before. The only thing it does is make the entire meal bland and over chewed.

Seo Seongun goes feral. Cool, show-stopping, fresh, spicy.. but every other character going feral during fights too? Don't these mofos have any integrity. I only need one Sammy. That position is already taken. I'm good. Stop copy-pasting him over everyone, it makes Sammy look regular.

I don't understand why Peetee needs to do this except out of laziness. He could write characters like Olly and Jiho. Why would he cut corners when he could do better? I'm happy how he handled Jiho. He didn't turn op like everyone else. He just kept doing his little Jiho deeds as little evil Jiho within his little Jiho bounds.

Uuurghgg.. I'm so pissed.

Anyway. Must you really spell out the situation for Yoo Hobin. It's so fucking literal, it hurts my pride. Oooh he's the good guy, the protagonist. He does good things. He's the hero. Because SJ is actually a good guy and he's working for the common good because love.. wins. No, it didn't. That's fucking bullshit, my guy. Can't you dig more into Hobin's character? Say, what's wrong with falling victim to the consequences of your actions? Can't a dude struggle because he made bad life decisions? Might it not be homeboy burrowed himself too deep into this fucking mess with no way out and now he's trying to wriggle away and survive and.. and.. cause man.. the economy is just this bad. Making a living is so fucking complicated. Making a living while having a conscience is sheer fucking torture. I wish I can sell everyone out but nah, I'm better than that uwu I'm Yoo "The Man" Hobin.

But no it's just, Yoo Hobin is.. good guy. He is.. good guy and he do.. the good things. Because I'm too lazy to explore his character uwu.

(Can you fucking tell I'm sitting bored in a waiting room? Yes, I'm sitting bored in a waiting room. I don't have the energy for any of this but I am full of spite and I'm so fucking bored.)

As for the stuff regarding him being a bigot.. Okay, let me just say.. I never had any real hope or expectation for any form of media, series, title, whatever else in regards to things like representation and all that. I don't, I'm fed up. And Peetee is too fucking fan-servicey to be trusted. Like he gives us a dick shot and call it a day. I'm sick of all the marketing ploys and all the fucking rainbow filter slapped in every fucking logo every pride month.

Anyway, whatever. Didn't Yeonwoo's dad recognize SJ's lady as uh.. some politician's daughter? Like yea, let's all pretend you build that up, Peetee. Good job, man.

#*guitar solo* #beat crusaders' everybody hates my guitar sound

[nanamicide]

this is under a read more to not clog y'all's dashboards but it ain't anything bad dw

i've been overthinking this since monday and i've talked about it around me irl but i think it's not helping bc it makes me feel like no one is really considering my feelings/pov on the issue (everyone has the same opinion on what i should do lol tho for different reasons) so i'm turning to you guys even if none of you really know me that well - you don't have to respond but if you end up reading this any input would be appreciated

basically, anyone here who's had more than 2 convos with me knows i wanna do a phd once i finish my masters. to do a phd you need to have (a) a thesis supervisor (b) funding. where im from there are several days to get funding. most of them can be pretty tough to go through but they say that if you're good at what you do it's not really that hard. however, there is a shortcut to this - finding a supervisor who already has funding for a given project.

i'm currently doing my master's thesis under a supervisor who's lovely. i get along with her really well, she's really helpful, is always very supportive, etc. i'm also really fond of the project we're working on this year and i was hoping to take it further by basing my phd thesis on it. she agreed, said we'd start looking for funding next year. all was well and good until then.

on monday we had class with a new doc - he got a position at my university in november. brilliant guy, specializes in psycho-oncology, has done plenty of interesting research, etc. but the vibes are like, off. as a professional, i'm sure he's amazing. as a person, though, idk. now i know, don't judge someone you've only seen in class for 3 hours and blah blah but i'm a great believer in first impressions for whatever reason. anyway, at the end of class he asks if anyone would be interesting doing a phd after graduating. i raise my hand (and i'm the only one who does so so all the attention is on me lol). he then tells me that it's really cool because he'll have funding for a phd student right after i graduate. y'all already guessed it - it's an amazing project, something i would be super happy working on. it would make my life easier because i wouldn't have to look for funding. the money would already be there. i'd have nothing to worry about for the next 4 years except getting the work done and publishing. pretty cool, right? i'd be stupid to pass on such an opportunity. that's what everyone irl told me. and honestly, part of me agrees. i know this is good. i mean, my mom even went on to say it was a sign that he'd receive funding for a field i'm interested in with such great timing. maybe she's right, idk.

so yeah, my issue is that i don't really wanna work with him because i already have my dream supervisor. except dream supervisor, as amazing as she is, doesn't have funding. so idk what to do. i have a few months to think it through but i can't seem to not think about it already. it kept me up last night and i think i'm at my limit overthinking it, tbh.

anyway, sorry for rambling like this. i don't make this type of posts very often because i like to keep the personal info i share online to a minimum but i really have no clue what i should do. thank you for reading my word vomit if you got this far!!

[shall-we-imagine]

Scaredy Cat. (Badboy!SigurdxReader)

Bet you weren't expecting this, huh.

Requested: 26. "All due respect, but that's a bunch of crap." From the prompt list.

A/N: Badboy!Klaus was quite popular so why not try this? 🤷‍♀️idk how to write proper bad boys so spare me I'm trying 😂 this is also a bit of an idol AU? 😂 you can call me artist; you can call me idol sorry I'm actually loving the BTS comeback even though a lot of people don't...aannd that's not the right place to discuss this I'll shut up. Moving on.

Genre: Fluff.

(Second Person Point of View)

Being friends with an idol had its pros and cons. On one hand, it led to you being friends with all his group mates, and it also scored you dates with other idols. On the other hand, you barely get to even see your friend; it's always video calls, and even those aren't as often as you'd like. But what can you do? As long as he's following his dream, you're happy for him.

Sometimes, however, you wish you could just have him around whenever you need him. He's always very caring towards you, but he can't help it that he's busy. So, sometimes you just have to suck it up and deal with your own problems yourself. Or do you?

Pacing around the living room, you contemplate calling Serge. If he was sleeping, you really didn't wanna disturb the tiny bit of sleep he gets. What if he was busy doing something else? He usually calls when he's free anyway..

"It's okay; I'll be fine." You whisper to yourself reassuringly, even though your voice came out filled with uncertainty. As you approach the kitchen to fetch a glass of water, you flick on as much light switches as possible. There ain't no demon attacking you tonight, nope.

You down the refreshing glass of water. "There. That's not so bad. I can do thi-" your sentence was cut off by your own squeal. What was that noise?

You hesitantly inch closer to your open kitchen window. As you were scolding yourself for leaving that window open, you peek into the back yard of your house. There it was. The source of the noise.

You could see the bushes shaking violently, indicating something or someone was in there. Trembling hands reach to quietly shut the window and blinds, as you tip toe away from the window. Maybe it was the fact that you were home alone getting the best of you, but you were terrified to the core. Someone might be lurking around in your backyard, and that would explain the odd noises you'd been hearing for the past hour or so.

You rush back into the living room. What in the world were you supposed to do?

Call your parents? They're thousands of miles away; they can't particularly help.

Call the police? Okay, you're not actually sure someone is out there, and you don't wanna just call for nothing..

The only person left to call was Serge..

You promised yourself that you'd call one time; if he doesn't pick up, you have to try to ignore the noises.

Please, for the love of everything good, pick u-

"Hello?" A voice deeper and more calm than Serge's booms through the phone.

You frown. "Um, isn't that Serge's phone?"

"Yes, darling, but Serge is shooting for his up coming drama right now, so he can't respond to the phone he forgot at the dorms." Darling? Oh, it's him. "Figured you might need some company, though, so I replied." You could almost see him smirk.

Now, when you say you're friends with the group Serge belongs to, well, there's an exception, and that's the one and only Sigurd Curtis. Fans love him for his 'mysterious charms', but all you could see is an irritating jerk. And now was really not the time for him.

"So? What did you call for?" His question reminds you that you hadn't replied to him earlier.

You sigh. "I called for Serge, but he's not here, so I'm hanging up."

"Oh, come on, am I not good enou-" you hang up before hearing the rest of his teasing and whining.

You couldn't really understand him much. He was generally quiet, but somehow, when it comes to you, he becomes the most talkative person on the planet. Which would've been fine if he didn't use all his power to tease you and flirt with you for no reason.

Well, there's no other choice but to deal with the unreasonable fear yourself.

#####

"This is not working." You huff, unable to stop thinking someone might break in. Your house didn't have a single light bulb turned off, which was probably going to be a pain when your parents receive the electricity bill, but you didn't have any plans of turning any of them off for now.

You stare at your phone, as if silently willing it to start ringing and showing Serge's picture. Of course, that didn't happen even after you stared for a full minute.

"Should I try calling again?" You sigh.

You took your heart thumping in fear as a yes. You prayed with all your power the idiot would respond, but once again, you were greeted with the flirtatious tone you feared hearing.

"Missed me already?"

A loud groan sounds across the empty room. "When is Serge coming back?"

"I don't know, cupcake." Knowing he specifically uses this to make you uncomfortable, you try your best not to cringe. "I've just been informed you're home alone. Is that why you want Serge? You're scared?"

Your cheeks heat up with embarrassment. "Usually..when my parents go on trips for work, Serge spends his time talking to me to get my mind off of the fact that I'm home alone." You admit sheepishly. "Sometimes he even sings me to sleep." You add in a quieter voice, part of you hoping he didn't hear it. You didn't even know why you were telling him this; maybe sleep-deprived you was extra friendly and liked over sharing.

"Oh." A pause was followed by a confident statement, "I could do that!"

"W-what?" However, there was no response. "He hung up? What in the world is wrong with that guy?!"

No longer than 2 minutes later, you were jumpscared by the doorbell. You silently approach the door, unsure who would be at the door. Of course, there was a face that popped into your head, but you somehow still couldn't be sure if it was really him.

"Sigurd?" You eye the taller male. His hair was freshly dyed black; he was even given an undercut while the hair on the top of his head was styled in a messy quiff. His attire was black as usual. Of course, as an idol, he had to switch colours, but when he got to wear what he wants, he'd almost always dress in black, to add to his 'mysterious' aura- you assume. He wore a black tank top with random scribbles on the front, matched with black skinny jeans that had some chains hanging from them; you never really understood that odd choice of clothing, but you didn't question it. What you did question, however, was the choker he wore.

"Sharing closets with your dog or something?" You point at the strange accessory. It was adorned with spikes and a few silver chains intertwining with each other; the best way to describe it was that it looked like a dog's collar.

"Ha ha very funny. It's called fashion, pancake, you wouldn't understand." Wearing a sympathetic smile, he pats your shoulder, allowing himself inside.

"Are you hungry or something? Wasn't it cupcake at first? Now it's pancake? What's with that?" You roll your eyes. Nice sleep-deprived you was nowhere to be seen, apparently.

He glances at your chest before looking back into your eyes and giving an innocent smile. "Nothing." He walks further into the house, not waiting for a reaction from you.

"You little-" you bite back an insult, knowing he just enjoys pushing your buttons. You had to stay calm. "Why are you here? I didn't even invite you. Plus don't you have work or something?!"

"You implicitly invited me." He points out, "And, no, we're on a break, remember?"

A sudden knocking noise makes you jump before you could even respond to the dork that made himself comfortable on your couch.

He stares at you with a raised eyebrow, "that was a branch hitting the window.."

"I knew that." His intense stare doesn't waver. "Okay, fine. It scared me..a little! I'm scared of being home alone, and there's a person lurking outside the house and-"

"There's a person lurking outside the house?!" He hops off the couch, his expression -for once- not smug or playful but concerned. It somehow made your heart skip a few beats. Surely, you were overreacting, though; there's no way he just looked attractive because he seemed concerned. There's no way you suddenly noticed how well black contrasts his skin tone, making it suit him beautifully. Nope.

"Well, I'm not very sure it's a person.." you explain shyly, "I just heard some noises and saw the bushes moving.."

"Man, you freaked me out for nothing." He runs a hand through his visibly soft hair. "Where was it you saw the bushes move?"

"Okay, stay here and keep the door locked; I'll take a look outside to ensure nobody's out there." He instructs, after you show him to the back door.

"Sigurd, you don't need to do this. What if someone dangerous was out there?" You attempt to reason with him.

He chuckles, "you worried about me, cupcake?"

You pretend to gag. "You might as well find yourself a ride home cuz I'm not gonna be opening that door again."

After a few moments, you hear Sigurd call out for you, claiming you should come out. He has teamed up with the serial killer outside and plans to trick you into getting murdered?

"Oh my god stop panicking; just come out! It's a puppy for God's sake!" He shouts, even though he really couldn't see you or your desire to ignore his request to leave the safety of your house.

"Fine!" You shout back, as you reluctantly pull open the door. The view beyond the door certainly made you glad you complied with his request, though.

Sigurd was crouching on the grass rubbing a small Pit bull's belly. It wiggled its tail happily, as he continued to shower it with affection. You almost let out a small awwhh. You almost forgot that this was the same guy you threatened to not let back into your house.

"I think that's my neighbour's puppy." You muse, as you approach Sigurd and the pit bull. You check the red, spike-filled collar. "Look. It's matching with you." You tease.

"Hey! How many times do I have to explain-"

You cut him off to add in a mocking tone, "it's fashion!!"

He merely glares, to which you laugh. It was your turn to tease him for once. "Anyway, we need to take it back to its owner." You state.

"Can't we keep it for a bit longer, please?" He pouts, catching you off guard.

"U-uh, um, we can't!" You begin to object, but all you could think of was how cute that was. Looking at this guy, with at least 2 sets of ear piercings and a hair cut to display a rebellious aura, just sit there pouting at you because you told him to take the puppy back to its owner- it was so strange yet so adorable.

You do your best to ignore the red adorning your cheeks, as you stand your point and demand he takes it back.

"No fun." He grumbles, as he lifts the puppy and holds it to his chest. "Fine; where's the house? At least come with." He gets off the ground. That's when you first notice some minor details of his tank top. The sides were sort of see-through, allowing you glimpses of his toned body underneath.

"Whatchu starin' at?" Your eyes meet with the smug male's. His smirk just never left his lips, as he continuously wiggles his eyebrows at you.

"Nothing!" You push past him, giving yourself a way to hide your burning cheeks. "That's the house; just follow me." You announce, mainly to change the topic.

After doing your duty as a noble neighbour and returning the puppy to its owner, you head back to your house, Sigurd following behind- obviously.

"I'm so tired." You yawn.

The dark haired male gives an excited grin. "Time to sing you to sleep!" He claps happily. Mysterious charms they say. That guy is the biggest dork you've ever seen. You are friends with Serge, though, so maybe second biggest dork.

"You really don't have to-"

He cuts you off, "All due respect, but that's a bunch of crap. I want to do it, and you want me to do it too." Well, he wasn't wrong. Sigurd's voice is really unique; it's one you really enjoy listening to. This would pretty much be like a private show..how can you say no?

"Well, get comfortable cuz I'm not gonna strain my precious vocals just for you to not fall asleep." He informs, earning an eye roll from you.

Once you place yourself in relaxing position and pull the covers up to your chest, Sigurd begins singing quietly and soothingly. His voice was so calming and gentle, urging you to throw away your worries and let the sweet melody carry you to the land of dreams. Which you inevitably did. Your eyelids had already gotten too heavy for you to keep them open; therefore, it took no time for you to drift into deep sleep.

######

An annoyingly loud ringtone disturbs your comfortable sleep, and you force your eyes open.

You hear a groan coming from the edge of the bed, almost giving you a heart attack before you remember last night's events.

"Hello?" Sigurd grumbles into his phone. As it was a video call, you could see the caller- Serge.

"Sigurd, wher- wait a minute; is that (Y/N)?! Why are you in bed with (Y/N)?? (Y/N), why are you in bed with your least favourite member of the group??" Serge cuts off his own speech to begin yelling about the situation he misunderstood.

"Wait; what do you mean least favourite member?? Why am I your least favourite?! Who's your bias then??" Sigurd complains. What made it funnier and cuter was the fact that you could tell he was genuinely offended by him not being your bias.

"Guy." You confess, "or Joel."

"I spent the night here and sang you to bed; don't I at least get an upgrade??" He whines.

"Hey, why am I not your bias?" Serge joins in, also visibly offended.

"You're my friend. it's weird to have you as a bias." You defend.

"Joel and Guy are your friends too!" Serge just isn't having it, clearly.

"Oh my god, Serge, just let it go, please?" You plead. It was too early in the morning for this.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. We'll discuss this later." He states. "Anyway, Sigurd, where did you leave my phone? I don't wanna keep using Guy's! Well, not that he would let me, but yeah."

"Your pho- oh." Sigurd's confused expression switches to an embarrassed one. "I might've taken it with me?" He pulls a second phone from his pocket.

"Sigurd, I've been calling since morning! You better bring it back right now! I can't believe you-" Sigurd cuts off Serge's rant by hanging up. "Well, I guess I have to go. Man, I'll never hear the end of it!" He groans, to which you giggle lightly. "I mean it is your fault for taking his phone." You point out.

"I was comforting you!" He defends. He looked so hurt you didn't appreciate his 'efforts', which made you want to pinch his cheeks or something. His hair had gotten messier, somehow making him even more attractive, yet you wanted to pinch his cheeks. Well, in your defense, he was acting like a child.

"Anyway, I'm gonna get going now." He pushes himself off the bed. "If you ever need someone to spend the night again, always call me." He winks. "You're an idiot." You shake your head.

"Goodbye, (Y/N)." He smiles. (Y/N). This was the first time he calls you with your real name ever since you met.

"You just called me (Y/N)." You grin victoriously.

"No, I didn't, cupcake." He yells, disappearing into the hallway. You throw your head back in frustration. He just won't stop being his annoying self, huh? Sadly, you felt yourself liking it and waiting for another meeting with him.

"I'm getting bias wrecked, aren't I?" You sigh.

#yes i'm still alive #i think #i still hate the 100 block limit #sigurd curtis one shot #sigurd curtis imagine #sigurd curtis #wizardess heart sigurd #sigurd curtis fluff #shall we date imagine #shall we date wizardess heart #shall we date #shall we date fluff #wizardess heart one shot #wizardess heart imagine #wizardess heart fluff #sigurd curtis x reader #reader x sigurd curtis

[survivor-ingary]

Episode 2 - "I DON'T WANT THE MYSTERY MOUSE-CA-TOOL BESTIE" - Ellie

At the tribal, Ping was voted out of the Pendragon Tribe nearly unamimously. Tribal immunity for this round is Pictionary.

I bet all these bitches know i voted for Keith and now they are going to come kill me in my sleep if i die i blame dylan

yass round 2 i either think im in the best position on this tribe or theyre all secretly coming for me thats all

Tribal went as well as I expected it to go. No major drama. It seems like Keith is in real trouble if we do go to tribal again though which would put me in a very tricky spot. For now, though, I will be trying my best in the upcoming challenge. The problem is, however, timezones and schedules. Jon is going to be our drawer, but he can only do it tonight or in the early afternoon tomorrow which I will not be there for. Additionally, Keith is asleep so we have no idea what his schedule is going to be so we basically had to schedule the challenge without him. And Nya could only do right before the deadline tomorrow which Jon cannot do. I hate this for us, truly. I just hope that Moth and I can rub our brain cells together for this one so that we can pull out a win. OR somehow the other tribes fail horribly. On the bright side, I am finally starting to catch up on Duolingo exercises. They're a lot easier than I thought, but it is still going to be tedious af to save up enough coins for some of the higher end products at the shop. As a final note, I am going to work with Nya in the long term as we promised each other to. Hopefully that actually works out. Time to actually be loyal and be a hero this time around. Need to try something different.

If we lose this challenge, I will be very upset. We went so hard on this challenge!!! I believe that we can at least get second place, but I don't know how crazy the other tribes are. So, let's see what goes on

Ayyyyy soooooooo looks like the four, Colin, me, Ava, and Brayden are officially in an alliance!? I’m really hyped to be working with everybody and already have sights on who should go if we have to go to tribal 👀 but like I’m gonna feel so bad if we go to tribal and I orchestrate a whole plan to take someone out I gotta do it when I’m not in my feels and the planets aren’t fucking with my emotions too heavy. But go alliance ! This means I’ll be able to stay safe until hopefully a merge and hopefully we can avoid a tribe swap till then which I get those vibe from it !! But I’ll be here to survive two more tribals just in case which is pretty rad. Other then that hopefully me offering to draw doesn’t end us up in the bottom and we can keep killing ! But anyways that is it as off know hopefully I have a lot more coins tomorrow morning and I get hit the hat shop bright and motherfucking early.

Just got asked to be apart of an alliance <33333 the besties in the group trust me which maybe ain't the right move but for now we gotta love the bonding. exciting!!!

YAY FOR ROUND 2! Okay, so I meet once again with the Hat Shop and... third times the charm! Except,,, the charm is getting nothing AGAIN lmao I'm not complaining though, still got that extra vote :P I stayed up at 1 AM for this challenge, and I honestly think our team popped off. Anastasia was guessing a ton, and Riley was amazing at drawing real quick! I have a relatively good feeling about our performance, so I hope I wake up to the news of our tribe being immune :D

so yesterday I set myself on a mission to get an alliance. I wanted Ava + Brayden + Toph + me as a majority alliance. it was our day off from tribal so I thought it was the perfect day to do it!! I talked to Brayden about it first because he's the person I feel the most comfortable with, and then after a lot of coordination and careful communication I was able to pull it together!! I think the most important thing when making alliances is making everyone feel like they're a big part in it. So I was careful to ask each person how they feel about the others, about the game, and made a point to say that I wanted to work with them specifically. Some may call that a little manipulative, but I wanna make sure that I'm an essential part of the alliance!! i need everyone to feel like they need/want me there.

all of this happening so soon into the game is a testament to how aggressive I'm playing this time around. I usually like to lay low and just rely solely on my social game in the start, but I'm trying this out to establish myself early on! I wanted to play the tribe leader and I think I'm doing that in a smart and subtle way!!

so yes now we have a 4 person majority alliance named "duolingo owl hate club" because fuck that guy. I think we're the 4 most active and present people on the tribe so it's only natural for us to work together, but I think it's definitely worth noting that I was the one that was pulling the strings here.

We just did the pictionary challenge, I have a good feeling about it!! Toph was an amazing artist, and if we win, all credit rightfully goes to him!! I think the guessers also did great of course, but like come on, the artist has to be the mvp. I'm really hoping we pull through!! I don't mind going to tribal, but I genuinely don't wanna vote anyone out yet. I'm fine just playing the game in a precautionary way. I know I'm in a great position if we do go to tribal, but it's always preferred that we don't go.

Everyone else on my tribe: doing the challenge and kicking ass

Me: I’m sleep

Riley (Tumblr has once again chosen violence so only the first 10 get banners 🥲)

I think our challenge went pretty well! My team were good guessers. Feeling like I've established some Integrity now. Hope it keeps me safe later!

Toph Soooooo we finished the challenge with 32 points and like wig !! I was a quick as drawer for 32pts expect when my internet lagged, but still ! I think we whooped some ass and if we do go to tribal I know it won’t be me going, thanks to Duolingo owl hate club but I’m also worried same could have and advantage because they seem pretty kean on learning a lot in like 3 hours and then tried to cover that statement to not seem so threatening but like babs s a huge threat too apparently they love Duolingo and know 5 laugnes ? This is from brayden but If so go babs ! That’s absolutely iconic for real Life but fucking scary in this game ! I gotta be buddy buddy with them so hopefully if they do have something it won’t be them going home first and it will be Ava. But I’m thinking we might get second place again unless someone is a fucking wizard at this.

Dennis hmm i think we did well enough in the challenge to not see tribal tomorrow but who knows i guess we shall find out tn

the way ellie was so on top of stuff yesterday only to oversleep the challenge makes me giggle maybe shes freaking out about it which makes me also giggle but i dont think its really a big deal

anastasia asked me to call yesterday and i was like sure lets talk but it is damn near impossible to hold a conversation with her idk i tried BUT she did tell me “yeah i just got off a call with ellie” im like i see. she says shes down to work with ellie but that quickly switched from ellie being ~experienced~ but good to know ellie is also playing hard. anastasia also mentioned that she talks to riley a fair amount who i still have yet to connect to well. but dat makes me think ellie is def talking to riley too miss debate team is definitely a talker. but good on her for the social game i guess

kenneth keeps being like haha we’re the same person and im like yeah👁 i bet we are👁

i just wanna win and not think about tribal just keep it slow and chill for now keep learnin my welsh i guess

Ava Second challenge was Pictionary and I had a ton of fun playing. The tea is: toph did a great job. He was pretty vocal about not being a great artist but really I think he did great. However, Babs was super inactive yesterday and ~too late~ said they were a great artist and should've been picked to draw. It was kind of like.... k babs thanks for the belated "help". They did do great guessing which scored a point in my book. Brayden was supposed to play but last minute logged off without saying anything so we did the challenge without him :/ sorta a bummer. Anyway the lack of participation from Sam is kind of popping off so we'll see where that leads them... Overall a fun game and fingers crossed we did well!

Moth I think we did okay at the challenge. Today I am dying from the heatwave so I’m not thinking too straight! Stay cool everyone

Ellie So yesterday Anastasia and I called for about an hour!!! I’d say we’re definitely way closer, she’s someone I really wanna work with although the idea of her and Brayden eventually being on the same tribe is kinda scary cause I know how close they are. Still she’s so fun to talk to and I just love her energy so much!

Pictionary challenge results: Jenkins Tribe wins with Penadragon second, Hatter Tribe has to go to tribal council on the following day.

Ava Well well well seems our bob ross, toph, didn't pull through (y'all think babs would've pulled it out for us or slept through our challenge like they said they almost did?) I can't wait for tribal. I'm in it for the drama. I'm hashtag voting Sam off - didn't even bother to be apart of our challenge and not too sure they've even been online for a full 24 hours. Weed out the weak.....

Anastasia

Brayden https://imgur.com/n60Lz0c

guys i dont know what to do someone help me out

Dennis i hope damn brayden gets the boot

Raffy Woo! We don't have to go to tribal again! We stan!

Ellie So I figured I’d go idol hunting today cause the shop was about to close and I just wanted to see what had been bought and what possible hats there were, I see that there’s a hat I have enough for that hasn’t been bought and I decide fuck it let’s get it

APPARENTLY ITS SOMETHING THAT IM NOT ALLOWED TO KNOW WHAT IT IS OR HOW TO USE IT YET???? THEY SAID ILL FIND OUT ABOUT IT LATER

I DONT WANT THE MYSTERY MOUSE-CA-TOOL BESTIE

Sam Well you see. I like all my tribe people. And I think we did real good on that music video! So, I think rather than voting anyone else off, I think I should just vote myself off if that is possible! Ahhh

Babs So sad to see Sam not only go but go through what they're going through :( same w Toph :( they all seem so lovely

Keith Not sure if i submitted a confession after the last tribal. But if I didnt here it is.

Happy I made it out of that tribal. I had raffy backing me with whom I played. Last time we played. We were at odds. We didnt work together but whats worse that we were against each other. It was either him or me goin out. Hopefully thats the past n we can work together. I jus need to keep things calm n show that Im not here itching to make big moves. So they dont feel threatened by me. N its easy cause right now. I havnt made that kind og bond with anyone on my tribe. To even think of such moves. Lets see what round two holds for me.

Colin so uh

we lost! :(

I was really bummed tbh. Like I thought we did well but circumstances with the challenge were just really unfortunate, from conflict about who wanted to be the artist to people disappearing the moment the challenge started, I think we did well despite all of that. Except we did kinda get stomped anyway. Oh well!! The game moves on. Tribal has to happen.

Initially I was gonna push for Babs, just because I feel like I don't wanna attach myself to them too early on. I've seen how much of a bitter player they can be, and lets just say I'm not the most loyal ally to have. however! 9 minutes after we lost, Ava announces to our alliance that she's voting Sam. I wasn't surprised, Sam has been the one not really pulling their weight. But I had some good connections with her!! we both did colorguard and shes so sweet and easy to talk to. I was really conflicted for a little bit, debating on whether or not to actually push for Babs. I think brayden sensed my hesitance but we both knew there was nothing really I could do to stop Sam from being the vote. At first tribal, the initial name always spreads like wildfire.

However, my mess was stopped abruptly by Sam asking to be voted out. welp!! okay then!! babs stays i guess!! i'm not too bothered. I'll never turn down an easy vote hehe.

Pretty sure there's a swap tonight. I'm kinda scared of that

uwu

Brayden

i almost forgot to upload this but dont worry i just remembered

Colin screams

Toph So we’re going to tribal in 20 and all I have to say right now is if there is a tribe swap after I’m gonna so scared but I ducking called I had a vibe and it was right that’s what is gonna win me this game trusting my intuition. I’m holding on now and gonna be the biggest comp beast next challenge in case I get fucked on this swap !!!! Or at least if it is a swap 🤔

Riley I don't know what this announcement's gonna be I'm worriedddd... Ginny said it probably means we're swapping teams but I don't wannaaaa I like our team.

Toph Sam self sacrificing made this the easiest vote ever and me being safe is a plus I guess 😎

#episodes

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

This had to be explained to me this morning...

Okay why I don't fucking know and they won't bother because it's fucking dumb and lazy I'm quite sure.

But.

Apparently I won't be home for Christmas, Annabelle and I will be stuck out at the Uncle, Clone, Socrates Christmas Horror with probably my cousin Chris.. Maybe my brother...

And so I said "what are people supposed to think? They're supposed to be happy and experiencing new things, this is old shit and for me?! That's gonna make them feel even worse knowing I can't be with my Kidd over some stupid invalid shit that I don't even understand except it's just plain laziness, idiotic and definitely developed by a male!! A male that's lazy about his family!!"

William: let me defend myself

Me: shut up

So I was told by someone, someone i stole a gun from shortly before my faux 16th birthday in an attempt to help save the planet (Not William but an undercover CIA agent), that in his heart he was told that this Christmas when people look around think 'Sabrina is missing out on this kind of happiness with her family' that they should remember and realize that the sadness they feel for me was felt for millions of human trafficked victims world wide, every Christmas and every holiday.

Some of us didn't know about it. Or had forgotten. So let this be the last Christmas any one is sad. It will always be a serious issue in our hearts and minds and souls. But not forever should we carry the burden of sadness and fear.

This year is the eradication of the solitude of the sadness of each Holiday being sad. Now we all know why gramma would sit in the chair alone hugging herself quietly at,the end of the day or sit the camcorder in the corner and refuse to participate like a granddaughter thought she should and try to get her to interact more because she didn't seem happy enough.

This Christmas: the sadness shall be replaced with cheer. The fear with triumph and joy.

And yes you will remember I'll not be happy and my kids without their parents.

But they have my real mom and dad. My real twin brother. Their not real Uncle that loves them as much as a dad. And many more people, nearly 100 in their neat home giving them best wishes and having Christmas dinner.

No way in Hell nor God's green Earth would i allow them to miss Christmas.

So today they will open presents from Uncle Garth and tomorrow Trisha's stockings, the next day from the Dildo King who has been making new things with his family (faux Uncle Garth and real Uncle Matt) that i asked Uncle to purchase 3 years ago in preparation of taking care of my children. And on down. And hopefully I'll be able to get there while Christmas is still happening.

I'm there in spirit as i always have been and that is my Christmas Lesson to know I cared about Children i didn't know i had. And for Declan and Annabelle, too. To know they also assumed one day they would feel Christmas joy as they once had when they were little and alone, listening to little voices explain how things were different where they lived yet no matter how close they felt they knew things were too far to really feel the Christmas joy as they should. This year they will know why.

As Declan explains. Its beautiful because they never expressed unhappiness or even jealousy or loneliness, just an eagerness to understand what they were missing out on because their belief was one day they would experience it out of slavery and here with us.

And it's true. Since my divorce... The ability to do Christmas All big and strong has dwindled... Because i have too much pain, mostly physical and can't gather the strength to make it perfect in every way. And as getting older goes Declan couldn't also hide his worries from his soulmate. Although we worked together to make it best for Annabelle. For us it was more about "Thank God it's Done and everything went perfect"

So this year... Apparently William's laziness wants us to feel that before Christmas. -.- or at Christmas. -.- like i really care. We still have so much work to do! We have mental health and we have bunkers to redo so they're not bunkers and factories to move and figure out what to do with. And employ people at a rate that doesn't cause insane inflation. Like work is never over. So Idk whst the fuck hes thinking. Im All about letting those miserable souls we can't get the missle at think they can enjoy Christmas. Pay a lot of someone's an insane amount of money to miss Christmas and sit outside their house and shadow shot them when they attempt to leave. Drop down the fucking chimney at night... Now that it's raining because the world cries for us...maybe that's not the best idea but still you get the picture. See, my husband is lazy and has no defenses. But i still love him anyways although his life woild be easier if he just listened and didn't pretend he didn't ever hear whole discussions we had where he was all "oh that's so smart!!" And make new plans when he sure as Hell knew i wasn't listening and my face looked like this:

And he tells me i should take a picture of myself because hes too afraid to tell me i look mad and wants to soften things up.

Uh Yeah when you abandon me in Hell when i fully expressed that i wanted him to come back full body in our old truck and drive me to Macy's in Oklahoma So we can get the kids Christmas presents in the form of bedding and some holiday clothing like nice dresses and suits. That they can wear while playing in mud puddles because that's what life is about as stains are like scars but stains remember less pain usually, and more laughter than tears and fears. Then he could leave me at Uncle Garths while he goes back to work. So we could spend the whole drive together and shopping time and then Declan could caravan with us.

But no. Hes all about abandonment because its easy. -.-

And now he's like way way beyond scared. Well that's what a mad face is about. Its the door to truth. And truth isn't always happy or pretty.

Its scary. And it's real. And it doesn't go away. Its Not just a point of view, it is total truth. Its at least 2 points of view and a validation.

When i told him what i wanted he promised he could do it and wss very happy.

So then later he's rambling about me stsying here while im busy making gingerbread houses and I'm quite sure he inhaled too much Stevia powder we used for snow.

William: hey now I don't wanna be in control anymore i want my wife to tell me what to do!

Uncle Donald: are you trying to hide behind Uncle Donald?

William: I'm heading that way!

Uncle Donald: well you get back to body life for yourself and we will make sure you get there safe. If not we will Chinook her express. How does that sound?

William: well uhhh how does that sound to you? Im asking Uncle Donald.

Uncle Donald: well you have a period of 2 hours to decide then we are taking her and the kids and Uncle Dan, as she calls him, with respect because hes always been kind to her.

Me: sounds good to me

William: what about those other guys that have been fighting for her?

Me: Christmas comes the same time every fucking year. Like you they ain't spent it with me so they obviously don't care.

William: well uh they care, now.

Me: because they have an opportunity to and they're all taking too long. What? We put the calender on pause because they didn't make their own opportunities? No they hurry the fuck up. Maybe they will make it but not fair to my children to wait on them to finish and any husband od kine will understand that.

William: not if they always lived in a bunker

Me: well that is why we already placed human trafficking victims with their families as best and as fast as we can So that they can learn to understand. Because it's not something that can be taught, its something that's felt only when together in happiness and love in a group. Its like having a whole meal and not just a bag of chips.

William: that's all you gotta say.

Uncle Donald: Sabrina...

Me: we already have a standing plan from August. It will be easy.

Uncle Donald: that's all

Me: thank you. And Merry Christmas.

[koshertumtum]

twenty one pilots themed asks!!

self-titled:

implicit demand for proof- what is your biggest fear? complete loneliness


fall away- what was the last lie you told to yourself? i'm eating healthy


the pantaloon- have you ever been deeply affected by a death? Hahahahaha my cat


addict with a pen- have you ever felt like what you wanted most was just out of your reach? not really idk


friend, please- have you ever had to talk someone out of making a big mistake? hmmmm no


march to the sea- do you conform or go against standards? AGAINST BOI!!! y'all can't enclose me


johnny boy- who in your life is a sort of unsung hero? my dad!!! + celine


oh ms believer- someone in your life whom you wish was more confident in themselves? 
TAYLAH DESERVES TO LOVE HERSELF LIKE I LOVE HER

air catcher- have you ever been afraid to tell someone that you loved them? i am not capable of love hahahaha except for all my friends,,,


trapdoor- what is something that you hide from everyone, even the people closest to you? why the heck would i say it here


a car, a torch, a death- do you love anyone so much that you would be willing to die for them? whaddup taylah and sophie and ALL MY FRIENDS™


taxi cab- what do you believe will happen to you after death? i wanna believe i'll be surrounded my lots of dogs


before you start your day- what song helps you feel confident? oh my god i don't know but maybe david bowie???


isle of flightless birds- what holds you back from reaching your full potential? my intelligence

regional at best:

guns for hands- how do you redirect negative thoughts? screaming


holding on to you- who do you go to when you need help? aw taylah helped me feel less shaky before going into DAISO


ode to sleep- are you a night owl or an early riser? i'm both pls help me


slowtown- a day you’d relive over again if you could? Ball Park Musics concert with sophie and taylah!!!


car radio- do you prefer to listen to the radio or your own music in the car? i enjoy the radio !!


forest- something that didn’t go how you had planned? best friends


glowing eyes- what are your dreams like? scary, weird,


kitchen sink- have you created something that only you understand? one time i created a sign language with ami,,, IT COUNTS


anathema- what bothers you the most? mean ppl


lovely- best compliment you’ve ever received? shit there's so many,,, like jelly calling me a pigeon or sophie saying if she was a lesbian she'd date me,, plus everyone else who says that


ruby- have you ever been unexpectedly inspired or affected by someone? sophie inspires me


trees- someone you wish you could speak to? the trees


be concerned- have you ever questioned something that everyone else around you firmly believed? uhhhh ??? i don't think so


clear- are you an introvert or an extrovert? i'm a unintentional extrovert around my friends but new ppl it's like wow buddy *whispering* ((sometimes))


house of gold- have you promised something that you cannot fulfill until you get older? good christmas gifts??

vessel:

ode to sleep- have you ever asked someone for forgiveness multiple times? lol


holding on to you- do you write in cursive or print? i write in pretty pens in print


migraine- favorite and least favorite days of the week? why? uhhh ¯\_(ツ)_/¯


house of gold- want kind of house do you want when you get older? PRETTY FOR MY 3 KIDS A DOG A CAT A FISH AND PROBABLY MY PARTNER


car radio- have you ever had anything stolen from you? the declaration of independence


semi-automatic- something you wish you could change about your personality? shutup sometimes fuck


screen- have you ever tried to be someone you’re not to impress someone? probs when i was a baby


the run and go- the last person’s house you stayed at? ellies??

the last person who stayed at your house? SOPHIE AND ELLIE!!


fake you out- something you seem to care about more than other people? animals


guns for hands- the last lie you told your parents? uhh??


trees- someone you wish you could see? (strictly sight only, no dialogue) y'all know


truce- what inspires you to stay alive? dogs


kitchen sink- have you told someone to go away even though you didn’t actually want to be left alone? no??? ya better leave if i say leave

blurryface:

heavydirtysoul- have you ever had to put your dream on hold? i ain't have any dreams


stressed out- who’s opinion do you value the most? taylah


ride- a fantasy that you would never act on? what


fairly local- are you typically cold or hot? FKN HOT IM AUSTRALIAN


tear in my heart- have you found the tear in your heart? i don't have a heart defect thankfully


lane boy- have you ever stood up for what you believe in? yes


the judge- which is scarier, fear or what causes fear? whet tha feck


doubt- a doubt that you have that you wish you could shake? my intelligence


polarize- where do you “hide” your problems? in my scrapbook


we don’t believe what’s on tv- do you value material objects or the intangible? friendship


message man- when things get hard, do you sleep or stay awake? i stay awake but i wish i could sleep


hometown- where is your hometown? east brisbane


not today- do you let people get to you? depends on the person


goner- what is your blurryface like? sad and crying and all red and puffy

[punkscowardschampions]

Ava & Grace

Ava: Hey Grace: 👋 Ava: How'd it go with gym boy? Grace: 🤞 he's got the hint 👻 Ava: That good, huh Ava: how about the rest, you know, not boys? Grace: we so aren't here to talk about me Ava: Come on Ava: Give me some normal conversation right now Grace: !!!!!!!!! Grace: 100% not gonna be that bitch, talk to ME about what's going on in your oh so dramatic life! Grace: are you okay? Ava: Okay, okay Ava: I'll just come out with it Ava: no sugarcoating Grace: Duh 🚫🍫🍬🍭 Grace: it's not a cheat day Ava: 🤫🤫🤫 Ava: You wanna hear this hot, hot tea or nah Grace: obvs Ava: You'll be the least surprised so there's that Grace: 🚫😱😱😱 Ava: You know when you came here and then married guy couldn't come and then everything fizzled out? Ava: well, it actually did, for nearly a month Ava: but then he came back Grace: OMG Grace: it's literally the MOST 💖📽🎞 like FORGET before Ava: It really was Ava: remember when I got hit by that cyclist? Grace: that was so wild! OH was he the 🚴??? Ava: 😂 Ava: Imagine Grace: your otp Ava: But no, my parents were out of town Ava: and he came to the hospital, to make sure I was okay Ava: and he took me home and looked after me Grace: I'm like about to cry???!!! that's so Grace: 😍😍 Ava: Me too Ava: and of course, I had to go on Holiday like immediately after so that was shit but since then we've been talking and Ava: he's divorcing his wife Grace: I TOLD YOU HE WAS PURE Ava: I know Ava: and I'm sorry I had to kinda lie to you Ava: but I accidentally let slip I had talked to you and he freaked and that's why he first left so Grace: Oh please, if I filmed a storytime about this ALL the comments would be calling me out as #fake Grace: I get it Ava: It does sound pretty unbelievable Ava: even more so if I actually tell you who he is Grace: are you GOING TO???!! 😱😱😱 Ava: May as well, I've had to tell Nancy Ava: Parents and Buster to go Grace: Ugh! so sorry babes Ava: I couldn't tell you before 'cos they kinda know him Ava: knew him Ava: he was one of Buster's friends from School Ava: and his crazy wife is the main girl who bullied Nancy so Ava: that was fun Grace: Really?! wtf Grace: Chelsea is like Grace: so weirdly small Ava: That's why we call 'em villages, even though you're in a big city, the actual communities are ridiculously close-knit, for better and worse Ava: oh and Ava: make it weirder still Ava: you remember that boy from my party, Teddy? Grace: UM obvs I never forget a 💋 Ava: Well, that's his brother Grace: !!!!!!!!!!!!! Grace: do they look alike cos 🧸 is 😍😍 like 🙏🙏 Ava: Kinda Ava: [sends a cute photo he would've been able to send to the fake profile] Grace: oh Grace: my Grace: god Ava: I know Ava: 😩😍 Grace: did he edit his 👀??! I'm so shook 💙 Ava: No, I've seen them up close Ava: they're actually that unreal Grace: I can't even Ava: Guess what Grace: ?? Ava: He said he loves me Grace: NO WAY Grace: 😭😭😭😭 Ava: I know, I know Ava: I can't even Grace: so are you like a thing™ now? Ava: Yeah Ava: that's why I'm telling everyone Grace: Your parents are gonna be so Ava: Ugh Ava: it's going to be a whole thing Ava: with all of them Grace: mhhmmm Grace: like I feel like I know the answer but how did Nancy take it?? Ava: She just Ava: does my head in at the best of times and this was no exception, sadly Grace: at least Buster can't be telling ANYONE how to live their lives Grace: especially 😍💖 Ava: Watch him try though Ava: I'm expecting it though, they'll have to get over it on their own time Grace: 🙄 Grace: I feel that, Ri always thinks she can tell me something Ava: It's so Grace: IKR Grace: full offense babes I'm gonna listen to Janis before you & like no Ava: It's gonna be hellish but they can't do anything about it Grace: 🙏💜🤞 Ava: unless they do in which case bye and feel free to go through my wardrobe 🤷 Grace: duh Grace: but watch me also take your man Ava: 😏 cheek Grace: my crazy would look 😇 next to his ex's Grace: love that for me Ava: 'Til I haunt you crazier Grace: so scared obvs Ava: 😒 Ava: I only just got him, you can't be stealing him Grace: so sorry but like gotta get the full set on that fam now Ava: You better 🙏 my parents take it that personal Grace: 😇🙏💜 Grace: Jesus is totally my bae so Ava: and God's favourite son Ava: leave mine alone 😉 Grace: 😂😂 Ava: So you're not mad at me now, yeah? Grace: lowkey 💔 but not mad Ava: awh please Grace: ILY bitch you know it Ava: ily too 💙 Grace: & now I don't have to 👻💔 his brother so Grace: no way he'll be hitting me up after this Ava: Oh yeah, you're welcome for doing your dirtywork Grace: 💜😂💜 Ava: Has he hit you up then? 👀 Grace: 🤐🤐🤐 Ava: After I just poured my heart out? Ava: Rudeness Grace: you're in a 📽🎞💖 I'm in a 📽🎞😱 starring my crazy Ava: Girl, please Grace: I'm so serious Grace: & so over it Ava: You're not crazy Grace: I'm not not Grace: ask gym boy, but like don't Ava: I'm not gonna sleuth on you, don't worry Grace: if you had you'd see 🧸 on my pics hitting the 💜 Ava: Cute Ava: he must like you or he'd air you Ava: it's not unheard of Grace: like I said, thanks for putting that work in for me babes Ava: 😒 why not talk to him Ava: you don't have to see him 24/7 Grace: well duh I'm not about to move in with you Grace: but that's not why I can't Ava: ? Grace: he's like Grace: & I'm like Grace: It's not gonna be a thing Ava: You can't be friends? Grace: 😂😂 no Grace: that's as terrifying OMG Ava: 🙄 he is NOT scary Ava: though he is gonna hate me now probably so loyalties Grace: UM yeah he is Grace: he's nice & so I'm scared of him Grace: @ gym boy too Ava: 🤔 Grace: ugh whatever Ava: You're a nice person, you should hang with other nice people Grace: 🙄🙄 Grace: I've got friends he doesn't need to be one Ava: Okay Ava: not my otp, not gonna push that hard Grace: or ours its fine Grace: he won't be 😭😭😭 Ava: 'Course Ava: gonna have bigger problems to deal with, lbr Ava: 😬 Grace: yeah exactly Grace: maybe we can bond when the wife murders you but like Grace: black isn't my fave tbh can't 🤞 I'll serve my best look Ava: Funny 😏 Ava: she's actually 'out of the country' rn so you should probably watch your back 🔪🔪 Grace: you're so not gonna come visit me now you're 😍😍😍 are you? Grace: are you even doing holiday 2? Ava: time is getting away from us Ava: summer holiday standard Ava: it lowkey has not been organized so god knows now, I wouldn't be mad if it didn't but I wouldn't not go, I guess Grace: depends how they take your homewrecker status Ava: Yep, cheers 👍 Grace: people are shady Ava: Sure Ava: but my actual friend friends will know what's up Ava: everyone else chats about us anyway Grace: true Grace: shoutout to the fam for that one Ava: at least this one is something I actually did so Ava: oh well Grace: anyone who has a clue about his ex will know it's not even you Grace: like sorry hun you killed that 💍 yourself Ava: I'm not too fussed, it's my last year 💁 Grace: #priorities Ava: Exactly Grace: still so triggered by the idea of going back though thanks Grace: school is the WORST Ava: tell me about it Ava: won't miss that place Ava: Chelsea in general moreso but it isn't like I'll be a million miles away Grace: unlike me always a ✈ away Ava: Do you reckon you'll stay in Dublin? Grace: I guess Grace: where else would I go? Ava: You aren't going to make like Billie and Nancy and bounce then? Grace: being a or sleeping with models isn't very likely for me, babes Ava: Models are usually weird looking anyways Ava: oops accidental shade at your sister 🙊 Ava: don't tell Grace: thanks? I think Grace: shade her all you want, I'm about it Ava: How many times have you seen her kid? Grace: Like none Grace: we might get christmas but Ava: this family is messy Ava: watch me get lectured like it ain't Grace: preach Grace: maybe I shouldn't stay here Ava: you could stay or go wherever Ava: everywhere needs beauticians Grace: not Chelsea though, I'd run into your boyfriend's wife Grace: obvs can't escape anyone there Ava: 😂 truly Ava: I don't wanna be far away from the fam Ava: cracked as they are Ava: but that's just me Ava: I guess it isn't automatically selfish to move yourself halfway 'cross the globe hmm Grace: same though, I even miss Junie & like ?? why Grace: never saw him when we lived in the same house Ava: yeah Ava: that whole situation still fucks me off I Ava: idk Ava: I know it's not the kid's fault but I can barely even look at pictures of her Grace: Ri never should've done it Grace: like he didn't need a kid that bad Grace: obvs he didn't actually need one at all but nobody NEEDS one Ava: If they'd been together any amount of time Ava: Junior wasn't 20 fucking years old Ava: it was really stupid Ava: Buster said but oh well Grace: Demi is so Grace: I can't Ava: This family can't seem to help but add more fucked up people into its sphere Ava: like Ro hadn't just brought Drew back, AGAIN Grace: Getting pregnant by accident is one thing, like it's stupid but okay Grace: they planned that Ava: This family has way too many baby hangups dating back to nan Ava: can't blame her for all of this but break the cycle, someone, damn Grace: literally had my contraception on 🔒 since I was 13 thank you Ava: 'Accident' is some bullshit 9/10 times tbh Ava: you knew it was a matter of time, even if you don't know you knew it Grace: @ my mum & dad so hard Ava: and mine, they say the twins were an accident but they probably would've broke up if they hadn't have had them at that time so Grace: mhmmm Ava: ugh Ava: I'm just heated knowing how hard I'm gonna have to defend this Ava: like I've got myself pregnant Grace: don't even joke, she trapped that poor boy so hard like Ava: seriously, he probably never wants kids again Ava: not that I've asked because it's been like a month or so and I'm not psychotic, thanks Grace: do you? not now obvs Ava: I don't know Ava: like, don't tell my mother but I don't actually meticulously plan every aspect of my life Ava: if I ended up at a place and time in my life where it felt right, I could see it Ava: but if I ended up living a different life where they wouldn't fit, I wouldn't and I wouldn't be 💔 about that Grace: 😂🤐 Ava: Do you? Grace: girl, I'm too freaked out to let a boy date me, I don't think it's gonna happen Ava: you won't be 16 forever Ava: and if Ro can manage it Ava: your mum and Drew are probably the only people to see her vaguely undressed in her life Grace: idk sometimes it's all I want & sometimes it's the WORST thing I could think of Ava: I get that Ava: I don't think its a thing you can overthink, 'cos it's not usually right or wrong Ava: so people just do it and have to deal, better or worse Grace: Yeah Grace: maybe I'll get like that with dating Grace: or you know, get so lonely that I won't care that people always leave Ava: 😔 Ava: You'll get there, whether there is living your best life with or without Ava: I'm defs getting left after this fiasco so I'll come 😭 to you in a few no doubt Ava: we're walking Frank rn, so gonna enjoy this whilst it lasts 👌🥰 Grace: UM no! He LOVES you remember, you'll come at me with your 😍 more like Ava: 🤞🤞 Grace: 🙏💜

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Grace

Janis: [Let us say that some boys on the bus were going hard with being dicks because duh, shit always goes down on the bus] Janis: 3 of those lads have sent me dick pics Janis: say the word, like Grace: only 3? 💔 Janis: What can I say? Janis: Not got the pull I used to, obvs Grace: yeah same Janis: Yeah Janis: well, there's comfort in knowing you're always one #scandal away from being old news at this school, yeah Grace: mhmm I'm like so comforted rn Janis: Not my forte Janis: I'll work on getting the remaining 2 dicks Janis: revenge porn, I could do Grace: 🤞💜🙏 Janis: I hope the rest of the insults you've heard today have been more creative than that poor showing at least Grace: Duh of course they haven't 🙄 Janis: Gutting Janis: should've paid more attention in English, lads Grace: [sends her some of the quality content] Grace: that'll be easier when I'm not there to be like TOTALLY distracting obvs Janis: 😑 Janis: How dry Janis: 💀 or 👻 Grace: I mean like catch them at 20 still trying to pass Grace: much as I wanna kms Janis: True that Janis: only here past junior cert to get more fingering experience Grace: ugh Janis: I know Janis: romance is dead Janis: is there anything I can actually do though? Grace: get that as a matching tattoo with barista boy? no 👌👌 Grace: idk cos idk what I can even do soooo Grace: my life is just over Janis: I'll float the idea Janis: might be a bit mainstream Janis: yeah but is that such a bad thing Janis: was pretty tragic, right? Grace: can you not Janis: I'm not taking the piss Janis: I'm being real Grace: & I'm not in the mood for a life revamp atm Grace: or your advice Janis: I'm not trying to be a guru either Grace: well you don't know what you're talking about so that's a relief Janis: Alright Janis: not said I do either Janis: sorry I don't, if I knew how to avoid scandals, I could sell that shit for a high price Grace: just stop Grace: I could care less that I'm #cancelled Grace: it's not even Janis: Go on then Janis: I know you aren't upset over that idiot Grace: Duh Grace: he's the WORST but I knew that already Janis: and give a shit about everyone talking shit, apparently Janis: so, what is it? Grace: it's real if I say it Janis: Is that why you're not saying anything Janis: I know it doesn't stop the talk but some people might listen Janis: what don't you want to make real? Grace: I don't want people to listen, I literally don't want anyone to know Grace: I don't even wanna know, I wish I didn't Janis: Grace Janis: what are you talking about? Grace: I'm literally the worst person, I didn't wanna have his baby & now god has like cursed me forever Janis: Babe, God is NOT a subscriber Janis: tell me Grace: if you make me 😂 I will 😭 Janis: That would make things feel more normal Janis: but I'll calm my comedy genius Janis: you haven't grown another head and I don't think our animal have been slaughtered Grace: thanks babes Grace: but I'd rather have another head than this Janis: More to contour, I get it Janis: Kinda Janis: so it must be bad Grace: Yeah Grace: like I said, my life is over Grace: it's not even started & it's done Janis: Did you want the baby Janis: I know you said not HIS but like Janis: it'd be understandable to be in two minds, even after making a decision about it Grace: not now but I didn't know that'd mean not ever Janis: What? Grace: it's not just that I wasn't pregnant this time Grace: I can't be Janis: Ever? Janis: The Doctor told you? Grace: Ever Grace: the doctor said I'm going through the fucking menopause, like is nan even?! Janis: the menopause Janis: is that even possible Janis: fuck Grace: I don't think the doctor is allowed to drop fake news on me Grace: like maybe there's another storytime coming Janis: When did you find this out? Grace: I went to the doctors right after I delivered my fake news to him Janis: Jesus, Grace Janis: How are you in School Janis: why? Grace: I told you, I don't want this to be happening Grace: I'm freaking out, the symptoms are crazy Janis: Is it just pure bad luck Janis: it can't be like..reversed Grace: there's like no way to undo it Janis: Shit Janis: I'm sorry Janis: that is huge Grace: yeah me too Grace: the pity party this fam would throw would be huge Grace: along with the guestlist of all their accidental babies Janis: and we have enough birthdays with all those accidental kids so Janis: Obviously, no need to explain why you're keeping it to yourself Grace: I can't do this Grace: be this Janis: I don't think you have a choice Janis: well, you don't Grace: is it my fault though? all the binging I used to do Grace: Ro got to have a kid Janis: Of course it ain't your fault Janis: this shit is unfair and random Grace: Yeah Janis: and it'll always be shit and unfair Janis: but you can still live your life, just different to how you've imagined Grace: I don't wanna live this life Janis: There's not an alternative Janis: but I can guarantee it's not gonna be as bad as you feel right now Grace: I was just starting to get my shit together, for god's sake Janis: I know Janis: but you still have the rest together Grace: HE'S the last boy that's ever gonna come near me, that alone makes me wanna die Janis: that's bollocks Janis: you've not got the plague Janis: socially, right now Janis: but who gives a fuck, yeah, the lads 'round here are not the be all in any way Grace: I literally live here Grace: what else am I gonna do go online and find boys who are into 👵? Janis: Boys that don't go to our school, would be a start Janis: ones that aren't likely to be fans of that prick, shouldn't be hard Janis: you're not going for 12 year olds, like Grace: I said don't make me 😂 Janis: It can't hurt Janis: except literally, maybe Grace: I've gotta get used to all the fucking aches and pains anyway ugh Janis: Any excuse for a spa day, you Grace: I'll lose your invite, don't even worry Janis: 💔😏 Janis: you should though Janis: do something that doesn't make you feel like 👵 Grace: casual infertility party Janis: not exactly what I was thinking but Janis: interesting take on the baby shower epidemic Janis: I'd come Grace: oh god don't, Rio's gonna have another one soon Janis: It'll be nice to not have to snatch it back from an OTT gay this time Janis: more chill Grace: unless I snatch it cos I go fully mental Janis: I'd recommend a less baby crazy target Grace: maybe I'll start pushing all the 🐈s around in a pram like oh hey this is my new vibe Janis: if you want your face clawed off Janis: they're pretty unsympathetic little bastards Grace: I literally didn't wanna be in this fam before what am I meant to do now?! ugh Janis: As much as it would be a laugh to ask Ri to surrogate again Janis: let's think of something a little less drastic for the time being Grace: like? Janis: like Janis: you can't disown us all, it'd take to long Janis: but you could not be around for a while Grace: 👌👌 except I have nowhere to go Grace: not trying to have a Q&A with my friends about this Janis: You're so lucky I'm the twin with brains Grace: rude Janis: what about going to see Ava for a hot sec Janis: she's not the barrage-you-with-questions type Grace: it's lowkey very unlikely her mum & dad would want me there though Janis: yeah but it's as unlikely they'll be about enough to notice you that hard Janis: everyone knows you're going through it right now, even if they don't actually know what IT really is Grace: okay yeah Grace: mum does, she'd let me go Janis: exactly, who actually gives a shit if you miss a week or so of school Janis: Ava could still go if she so desperately needs, you just need to chill Janis: away from here Grace: not me, school was the worst even before this Janis: One thing we can agree on Grace: don't like tell anyone, okay? Janis: No shit Janis: 'course I won't Grace: Even your boyfriend who you're so 💖😍😘 for & have no secrets from Janis: Even though you're being purposefully antagonizing rn Janis: I won't tell no one Grace: thanks Janis: It ain't even an ask Janis: so don't mention it Grace: 👌💜 Janis: I'll hook it up with her, no stress Grace: I'll handle mum Janis: and your packing Grace: at least I don't have to serve a look as hard when there's only 1 person there I'm avoiding as opposed to like ALL of Dublin Janis: safe to say you can give the #ootds a break too Janis: strictly loungewear, like Grace: mhmmm Janis: bit rude to avoid Ava though Janis: do I need to tell her you're getting in the guestroom and not coming out, like? Grace: oh please, I would never Janis: Who are you avoiding then? Grace: just a boy Janis: unlike you Grace: excuse you Janis: You'd have your exes all back 'round like a family reunion Janis: who's this boy, did you shit in his bed, what's the story Grace: 😱😱😱 Grace: I WOULD NOT Janis: 👌👌 you love a repeat Grace: I'm a hoe reformed 😇🙏 Janis: so that's why you're avoiding Janis: get a wimple, join a convent Grace: literally can't 💍 anyone but god now anyway so Grace: obvs that's what he wanted when he cursed me Janis: #whenbaeisposessive 😍 Janis: and don't talk shit, you don't have to promise you'll have your firstborn within the year when you get married, like Janis: not necessary Grace: whatever we're so off topic rn Janis: the topic of you shitting in some London lad's bed, 'cos you did not deny it Janis: let's get back on that Grace: OMG no! Grace: I'm 👵 not 🤢💀🤒😓💀 Grace: he's just a hookup, no drama Janis: just gonna run for cover if you 👀 him Janis: standard Janis: probably not lurking about her gaff unless you've really one-upped everyone and fucked your uncle 🤢 Grace: EW! Grace: I'm not even gonna 👀 him cos he's her bfs brother but like I didn't know that so Janis: that's funny Janis: soz Janis: 😂 when the incestuousness of it all happens without you even trying Grace: 🙄🙄 Janis: okay 🤐 Janis: but deffo avoid him Grace: duh Grace: the state of me & my life rn Janis: more like the state of that whole situation Janis: getting involved in that is not anyone's idea of relaxing Grace: obvs but that's not anything to do with him Grace: just like none of this #scandal involves you Janis: Think people know better than to imply it was a threesome, yeah Grace: Gross! & you know what I mean, babes Janis: yeah, it's beyond #obvs you don't wanna avoid this boy mhmm Grace: like that matters, he's not gonna hit me up & same Janis: well okay Janis: arranging that goes beyond sisterly duties into pimp territory so Janis: focus on what you're actually gonna do whilst you're there then Grace: 😭😭💀💀😭 then yeah? Grace: 👌💜 Janis: you could do that here Janis: at least go somewhere instagrammable to die Grace: well duh Grace: final livestream for the haters Janis: 🙄😏 Janis: wonder if anyone's killed themselves on stream yet Janis: must've Grace: obvs Grace: but I literally couldn't even if it was original content cos they'd all think it was about him & I'm sooo 💔💔💔 Janis: No one wants that as their legacy Grace: exactly Janis: even if the race to #1 most subscribed when he gets #cancelled would be just riveting Grace: he won't even though his fans are just Janis: sweaty virgins Janis: yeah, figures Grace: 😂 Grace: I'd tell him to hit them with a Q&A but like he's got no answers Grace: literally should've known I wasn't pregnant Janis: thank fuck you ain't Janis: this time anyway Janis: obvs the whole thing is a little more complex but Christ Janis: having to parent with that Janis: and knowing your child was the product of a really shit shag Janis: 💔 Grace: IKR Grace: at least he doesn't know he could blame the menopause for how shit it was Janis: I highly doubt he knows what the menopause is Janis: nevermind the concept of it coming early Janis: though that shouldn't be that unfamiliar Grace: who knew it could come this early though Grace: not his defence squad but like wtf Janis: I hadn't heard of it before, really Janis: like I knew people like Ro and Mia and co can stop getting their period and it might not come back, even if you sort yourself Janis: it's shit luck Grace: yeah Janis: Did you not get your period Janis: on whatever contraception you're on Grace: loads of people don't on the implant so I wasn't freaking out Janis: yeah Janis: s'what I thought Janis: you don't think, I mean that's not why, is it Grace: I'd hope someone would have floated that as a side effect before I got it put in but it's not like I can ask my former squad if they're also going through it Grace: they might've moved on by now anyways it only lasts 3 years Grace: hence my 👶 panic Janis: I don't think even doctors and scientists know what it does to our bodies Janis: we're still guineapigs for all this shit Janis: I know loads of people get fucked up from all the hormones they add to your body, and the ones they take away Janis: again, just bad luck it happened to be permanent, I guess Janis: fun times Grace: at least I won't have to do any of that shit any more Janis: that's true Janis: it's not like there aren't any perks Janis: or that the losses can't be filled with other potentials in the future, when you actually wanna think about all that shit Grace: unless I go bald then I will kms obvs Janis: If you go bald, you can just go for it and superglue a wig on Grace: find me one that doesn't make me look like a weird cartoon character & sure Janis: no 💗 or 💙 Janis: got it Grace: ty 💜 Janis: failing that, you could make Ri transplant you some of hers Janis: like so you won't give me a baby, okay Grace: 😂😂 coming at her with ✂ Grace: I love that you didn't volunteer yourself bitch Grace: 💇 or 👶 tbh Janis: Full horror movie moment that Janis: selfish to a fault me Janis: and final girl, so you can pry 'em off my cold dead head or outta my cold dead womb Grace: my 📽🎞😱 moment is that this is gonna change my skin type to dry so it'll take me at least a full week to find replacements for all my makeup faves Janis: yeah, but think about how hard your spots should disappear Janis: get yourself a decent moisturizer and you won't even need to bother barely Grace: !!! Grace: I didn't even think of that OMG Janis: mhmm 👵 don't get acne Grace: 🙏🙏 Janis: and you can try a new facial over there, yeah Grace: as long as Ava isn't like no thanks bitch Janis: won't give her an option tbh Grace: 📽🎞😱 Janis: 😏 you know I'm scary bitch Grace: oh please Janis: 👊 Grace: 😘

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: the lure of coffee machine burns and demanding customers proved too strong? Jimmy: Your gratitude at getting another smoothie an' all Janis: you found out I was a big tipper? Janis: grapevine getting oddly specific and vaguely complimentary Jimmy: Your boyfriend never said nowt, awkward and 💔 Janis: which one Janis: have to put him on the 'really, never again' list Jimmy: the one who works here but ain't me Jimmy: Pete Janis: so that's his name Janis: cute Janis: well he can't go on that list so I take it back Jimmy: Or I'm lying Jimmy: but I reckon I'd give him a better name if I were Janis: exactly Janis: one every lad has like Jimmy: what every lad don't have is a 🎸 and a band attached Jimmy: he's WELL unique 💕 Janis: OMG Janis: makes so much sense why you're 💘 Jimmy: I ain't 😳 it's the steam, alright Janis: 😂 Janis: If I was a nicer friend I'd be made up for yous Janis: obviously I've learnt from the best and I'll covertly hit that behind your back, sabotaging you every step of the way Jimmy: We mates now? 🎉🎊🕺 Janis: the best 💕 Janis: thought 💔 you ain't 💔 about the friendzoning, obvs Jimmy: I'm made up for us Janis: 😏 good Jimmy: you'll be well about having a gay BFF Janis: ikr Janis: as if they didn't have enough reasons to be jealous of me Janis: ultimate accessory Jimmy: I am gonna ask him to move in though so if you could piss off before the end of our shift Jimmy: Tah, babes Janis: how could you Janis: genuinely did not see this coming Jimmy: when you know you know, girl 💕 Jimmy: soz you didn't Janis: I know lots of things Janis: like his name and passion so tah, dickhead 🏆💘 Jimmy: @petechambers is what you need to know Janis: why you being so helpful Jimmy: he reckons you're my girlfriend, how far do you reckon you're gonna get Janis: reckons you're my boyfriend, by that logic Janis: looks like we're both fucked Jimmy: I don't fuck in the workplace, I told you Jimmy: only customers 👴👵💕 Janis: fucking hell don't say that Janis: not just their spidey senses tingling, eurgh Jimmy: 💀👑 and her #squad ain't here yet Jimmy: can say what I like Janis: 'course not, it's before noon Janis: and as long as your manager don't hear you, yeah Jimmy: 🤞 he won't hear me 😴 in the back either Janis: you must be dead Janis: all the freebie espresso shots today Jimmy: 👻 Jimmy: should've let you call in for me Janis: dangerously close to admitting I had a good idea Jimmy: only the one Janis: one more than you had you poor 😴 fool Jimmy: You sleep alright? The 🐕 was being a right little twat when I had to go Janis: like I'd been drugged Janis: not accusing you Janis: just don't usually sleep that deep Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: the barman was a bit Jimmy: could accuse him Janis: who am I to turn my nose up at free drugs Jimmy: 👮🚔 undercover me, remember Jimmy: might wanna hit delete on that Janis: listen, you've definitely crossed some boundaries yourself, idc how deep your cover is Janis: you keep it 🤐 and so will I Jimmy: Oh it's really deep like my 💕 baby Janis: 😂 Janis: yep, you're definitely 45 Jimmy: were warned Janis: didn't say I didn't like it 😍 Jimmy: 🤤🤤🤤 Jimmy: #whenshelikestherealyou Janis: just can't help but be goals, me and you Jimmy: tough job but I've already got a piss easy one Jimmy: I'd be bored to 😭😭😭 or 💀💀💀 Janis: so welcome, babe 💕 Janis: shame you can't be bored to 💤💤💤 rn though Jimmy: earnt myself a burn for cheeking everyone's manager 🙏 @god soz, like Janis: 🌩 Janis: he'll get ya Jimmy: bit late for the warning, Jenna but tah Janis: got off pretty light Janis: it could've been genocide, he's a big fan Jimmy: tell it to all the fans who want pics of me touching you up Jimmy: ain't gonna be goals for a bit, that Janis: bad enough you can 🏥 Jimmy: still got skin ✔ Jimmy: makes it a no go Janis: 😔 baby Jimmy: will to live ✖ Jimmy: least I've got you 💕 Janis: you poor, poor boy Janis: and your fave customers ain't there either, what's the rest of the crowd looking like? Jimmy: 👪 and 👫 Jimmy: be why I'm in such a romantic mood Janis: so inspiring, yeah Jimmy: nowt as inspiring as you obvs Janis: how many paracetamol did you pop Janis: very peace and love rn, you Jimmy: might be talking in my 💤 Janis: in that case Janis: let me hold you to everything you say Janis: go on Jimmy: 👍 Janis: did you/any of yous get a chance to walk this dog Janis: it's being batshit Jimmy: I let it out but unless Cass is up and about now Janis: If she is she's being as quiet as I am Janis: no worries, I'll take it for a run Jimmy: hang on, I'll text her Janis: 👍 Jimmy: Alright, boot the door in for us Janis: you what Jimmy: you heard Jimmy: 👮🚔 tactics, mate Janis: not gonna marry your da, remember Janis: no stepmum here Jimmy: well he chucks her 💰 for walking that 🐕 you're gonna at least wanna take that off her Janis: I guess I could let the dog in her room Janis: just blame you or the kid Jimmy: I did it earlier, dunno how it got back out Janis: clever girl Jimmy: 👻🐕 Janis: awh Janis: if I could draw for shit I would Jimmy: Have a go Jimmy: there's loads of shit in my room Janis: feeling #inspirational as well as #inspired, mate? Jimmy: you feeling 🥇 or 🙀? Janis: how do you know I ain't got plans Jimmy: Come on, I'll do it too, let 👻🐕 decide which is better Janis: ugh Janis: fine Jimmy: Crack on then, loser Janis: fuck off Janis: I never claimed I was good at art, 🎨 hoe Jimmy: Getting the excuses in already Jimmy: should've just backed out from the challenge, babe Janis: you should get to work Janis: doodling or your actual, like Jimmy: I'm doing both Janis: get you Jimmy: 🏆🥇👑 Janis: ⭐⭐⭐ for your name badge Jimmy: It says Jamie right now so you're alright Janis: 😂 Janis: doesn't suit you Jimmy: only been working here ages Jimmy: don't put yourselves out Janis: your names not actually James then? Janis: least they're in the ballpark Jimmy: Bollocks would it be, Ian'd reckon that too la-de-da Janis: fair, can't imagine that either Jimmy: and anyway we're all y or ie except him 'cause ❄ can't get ideas above ourselves Janis: don't stop every cunt I know giving their kids genuinely mental names though so Jimmy: I've wrote some mad ones on ☕ Janis: ooh #whenhescreativetho Jimmy: his new missus better fall in like my mum did Jimmy: fucked yourself you Janis: I mean, I'd change it but what to Ian, you've got the vision, like Jimmy: @ him Janis: from his house, that'd be hilariously psycho stalker Jimmy: he'd be 😍😍 so don't actually Janis: alright, in your bed not his Jimmy: Are you? Jimmy: Get up dickhead there's 🎨 to make Janis: 🙄 alright, on it Janis: ruin the fantasy with your details, why don't you Jimmy: ruin your lie in with my jealousy of it, tah Janis: 💔 Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Jimmy: In a bit then Janis: are you concentrating that hard? Jimmy: you need to if you wanna beat me Jimmy: doing you that favour Janis: so kind 🖕 Janis: so considerate 😒 Jimmy: I know 💕 Janis: [hit him with a cartoon of ghost Twix doing a phantom shit in Ian's shoes] Jimmy: [one of those recorded texts things of him loling] Janis: is that a lol of approval? Jimmy: 'course Janis: good, 'cos I tried Jimmy: yours is better than mine Jimmy: glad I ain't the judge Janis: rub it in pedigree, like Janis: she likes you better, maybe a walk would swing it Jimmy: she don't like that I only let her out in the garden for a bit Jimmy: so if you're gonna cheat Jimmy: would be 🥇 cheating Janis: from the professional himself 💕 Janis: leave a note, so your sister don't reckon it's been dognapped Jimmy: 🖕 and 👌 Janis: love you too Jimmy: [sends her his picture of ghost him walking ghost twix and Janis in a ghostbusters outfit getting him with the vacuum thing cos Twix is her true love but someone's spilt coffee on it rudely] Janis: fuck off Janis: that's actually sick Janis: can't even be that mad Jimmy: you ain't judging it either and ☕ ain't a treat she's 😍 for Janis: take the compliment, boy Jimmy: I'm too tired Janis: doesn't anyone at your work have a decent coke habit Janis: inconsiderate, that Jimmy: what kind of rock and roll god are you, Pete? fuck's sake Jimmy: 😱💔 Janis: if he's straight-edge Janis: have him Janis: won't be lectured by some 🤓 however cute Jimmy: from his feed I'd say 60/40 that he is Jimmy: gutted pisshead Janis: actually devastated Janis: please give me time to grieve Jimmy: me an' all, gonna have to rely on you and only you to get me through this shift Janis: I haven't got any on me either, you know Jimmy: like I said Jimmy: he does 🚬 though actually, I've seen him Janis: 😻😻😻 Janis: oh thank god Janis: not ready to let that dream die tbh Jimmy: Alright, calm down Janis: you don't understand Jimmy: Have you even looked at his profile? 60/40 that bird's his girlfriend an' all Janis: idk what that's gotta do with me Jimmy: she's got better tits than you Jimmy: I don't reckon you'd win if you challenged her Janis: well I know I would but tah Jimmy: You ain't his type Janis: omg you don't know that Jimmy: try some heavy eye make up and a band t-shirt Jimmy: might 👀 at you then Janis: can't argue with good looking Janis: whatever you think you're into Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: what's with the negging Jimmy: What you want me to big you up? Got that covered ain't you Janis: nah Janis: but shouldn't affect you that I know my worth, should it Jimmy: it don't Jimmy: nowt you do affects me Janis: then stop chatting shit like that to me Jimmy: Or what? Janis: no or what about it I won't fucking talk to you Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: I ain't got time for you, my best customers are here Janis: lol really Jimmy: [a pic of them gals, chin chin] Janis: 🤢 Janis: if I never saw that face again, it'd be too soon Jimmy: [resends it with faces scribbled out] Janis: 😏 Janis: idiot Janis: time for a stock check, probs Jimmy: time to post something about you more like Jimmy: [does about how much he misses her and how hard it was to leave her there asleep this AM etc] Janis: you trying to kill 'em? Janis: 'cos good job, honestly Janis: they'll at least have heart palpatations at that Jimmy: #duh Jimmy: could do better but this ain't a topless kinda place Janis: we're all 💔 about that Janis: should've taken some creeper shots whilst you were sleeping, my bad Jimmy: such an amateur you Janis: had other things on my mind, happens Janis: my reply will be extra slushy, how's that Jimmy: 🤢 Janis: obvs but yay or nay dickhead Jimmy: where are you? Janis: park opposite yours Janis: why Jimmy: do you look like you belong in a park opposite mine? Janis: fuck you, I'm clean Jimmy: I'm saying make yourself look like you just got out of my bed and get over here Janis: alright then Janis: but that counts as one of my debts paid, definitely Jimmy: Bollocks Janis: er yeah it does Jimmy: How is this a favour to me? Jimmy: They're chatting shit about you Janis: when ain't they Janis: I don't ever need to be in the same room as my sister, tah Jimmy: Stay at the park then Janis: make up your mind Janis: I said I'll do it Jimmy: Not doing this for my health Jimmy: they ain't wrong in thinking I look like shit and if you were any kind of nurse you wouldn't have let me go nowhere Janis: marry 'em then Jimmy: I don't wanna marry you why would I wanna marry them? Jimmy: Also how? In what sequence 'cause can only be one at a time Janis: 'cos clearly you trust in their ability to look after you based on this snippet of overheard convo, idiot Janis: none of them have had a boyfriend longer than 3 weeks, no time to get a fucking cold, nevermind get over it Janis: don't count, they're a hivemind Janis: cut off Mia's head, they all die Jimmy: 👌 Janis: how can they possibly have anything to talk about Janis: not seen any of them in days Jimmy: You've been online, nowt else they need Janis: fuck sake Jimmy: I'll throw a drink over Mia she'll melt, game over Jimmy: if she ever orders owt Janis: some sweet as Janis: that hot sweet vom will coat her mouth on the way out, enjoy that for hours Jimmy: Don't Jimmy: you'll make me vom Janis: such a baby Jimmy: Piss off Janis: you ain't cleaned up worse in the CG bathroom, no Jimmy: don't mean I loved every minute of it Jimmy: or that I wanna relive it right now with you Janis: k, just tryna kill the mood, baby Janis: calm you down Jimmy: Leave it out Janis: lighten up, me they're chatting shit about Jimmy: and it weren't me who invited her here Jimmy: stop being a knobhead Janis: I'm not Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: shut up Janis: what's actually wrong with you Jimmy: I don't wanna talk to you if you're gonna take the piss Jimmy: nowt wrong with that Janis: when did I Jimmy: This job is crap and I don't wanna do it but I ain't got rich parents Jimmy: so yeah, I have to clean up after dickheads all day Jimmy: and they get to say whatever they want to me while I'm doing it Janis: it's you who's assumed my parents are minted, you ain't once asked me about 'em and I ain't told you Janis: how far do you reckon 2 paychecks goes for 12 people, but nah, whatever, they got more than some Janis: but not so much that I'll never have to work a day in my life so don't come for me like I think I'm too good to clean a toilet or some shit Jimmy: Don't get at me when it's them you wanna Jimmy: we're supposed to be in this together Janis: I weren't getting at you Janis: for fuck sake Jimmy: Alright Janis: it clearly ain't but I weren't so I'm not apologizing for some shit you only think I said Jimmy: and I'm not starting something with you 'cause they're annoying Jimmy: So alright Janis: Fine Janis: that we can agree on so we'll just leave it yeah Jimmy: 👌 Janis: 👍 Jimmy: the 🐕 with you? Janis: yeah Janis: taking her back Jimmy: do me a favour and leave her there Janis: weren't planning on bringing her if I do come through Jimmy: I mean at the park to get actually dognapped Janis: well don't take it on on the dog either Jimmy: I didn't like her long before 💀👑 were on my radar Janis: ain't her fault Jimmy: is Janis: she's only a puppy Jimmy: cute enough to get snatched then Janis: i'm not getting rid of your dog for you Janis: do it properly if you're going to Jimmy: just trying to get rid of that IOU for you Janis: sure Jimmy: You're really scared to owe me one, you Janis: scared and not wanting to are not the same thing Jimmy: that'll be why I said what I said Janis: 😒 Janis: fuck off, what's there to be scared of Jimmy: You tell me Jimmy: What do you reckon I'm gonna do? Janis: shut up Jimmy: Easy, I'm faking I lost my voice either 'cause I'm 🤢 dying or 💀💀💀 from how well you nursed me Jimmy: theirs to keep guessing about Janis: ours to prove easy enough Janis: if we wanna Jimmy: Do you? Janis: I mean Janis: obviously I don't care but also Janis: why should they just get to go around being cunts all the time Jimmy: I get it Jimmy: I also get that you badly miss Mr Lucas, babe but I ain't drank enough coffee for you to pretend I'm him 💔 Janis: 🤢 okay but don't Jimmy: I could take a few more shots before you get here but I might Jimmy: don't actually like it Janis: it's rank Janis: fuck the rest, being around the smell all day would be shit enough Jimmy: hang on, I'm gonna wipe off the chalk board outside and write that Janis: 😂 Jimmy: so inspiring baby 💕 Janis: if we could thin the crowd at all be ideal Janis: don't need the 👪👫s seeing this Jimmy: some of them did leg it pretty quick when Mia walked in Jimmy: not gonna want your kids or your fella seeing that Janis: honestly, meant to learn about death through a hamster, not your local 💀👑 Jimmy: well early in the day to try and teach them to spell anorexia Janis: thank god for spellcheck, eh babe? Jimmy: didn't have it when I communicated with her via napkin note but I think I managed Jimmy: will do if I don't think about what she'll do with it after Janis: basically sold your soul to the devil Janis: couldn't wait 5 minutes for me to get there Jimmy: already 👻 nowt she can do to me Jimmy: only come to life for you Janis: can't decide if 💕 or 🤤 that Jimmy: why not both? Janis: 😍 #whenhesthefullpackage Jimmy: give me everything you've got then Janis: you've changed your tune Jimmy: I've not Jimmy: been saying 🥇 or nowt since the start Janis: last night Jimmy: What? Janis: never mind Janis: both had a few by then, not to mention knackered Jimmy: Go on Janis: well you said don't give you anything Jimmy: it ain't for me, it's for them Janis: yeah, I know Jimmy: So no need to hold back Janis: wouldn't be much point coming otherwise Jimmy: I've gotta be fake mute, you've gotta be fake loud Janis: really Jimmy: We can't both be 🔇 Janis: Jesus Janis: why are you being mute again anyway Jimmy: I lost my voice 'cause you're the best at bringing someone back from the brink of 💀💀💀 Janis: 'course I am Janis: well don't put me off, I have a plan Jimmy: I just had to let you know loudly and repeatedly even if it cost me this #goals accent Janis: sounds about right 😏 Jimmy: Obviously, I thought of it Janis: I mean, it's believeable for you but alright Jimmy: A boy can dream 💕 Janis: dream no longer Janis: [post up hoe] Jimmy: [get ready lads and I don't just mean you gals] Janis: [least she'd always have her gym shit on her so can still have that moment] Jimmy: [yeah that's forever legit, and thank god he looks good in his uniform too or that'd be awkward like she's bringing it and he's blah] Janis: [when you're gonna have to just go for this lads] Jimmy: [he's gonna get a bollocking from his manager regardless we all know it, him most of all so nothing to lose] Janis: [when you come at him like 'I just missed you so much' loud/close enough that it's heard but you're already wrapping yourself around him] Jimmy: [when you have to be fake mute so it's all 😍 but it does mean you can just pull her even closer to you how he likes to do and go IN on kissing any part of her that'll get the best reaction, from her and the audience] Janis: [letting that happen for way longer than you need to before redirecting his mouth to yours so you can be loud without it being really indecent] Jimmy: [I feel like as much as they think they can read each other from all the make out seshs they've had he should've done something in that bit then that surprised him with how much she liked it even if they are pretending it's fake and he told her to be extra] Janis: [agreed like as much as it's all real it would be like the shock when they first kissed and she weren't bored so 100%] Jimmy: [just gonna put her on the counter for that mood and moment soz customers but like we're putting on a show here, not getting in trouble without making it worth it] Janis: [when you say his name and it's half 'cos you wanna half like are you sure] Jimmy: [when as much as you're pretending you've forgotten where you are you also have because so much pent up everything] Janis: ['come home with me' do you mean it or no we'll never know] Jimmy: [I like to imagine Mia's head exploding so get her down but onto the staff side with you so you can keep this going as you make your way towards the back like you're gonna continue this there/leave that way] Janis: [heheheheh] Jimmy: [obvs gonna keep kissing out there for a sec 'for realism' and in case anyone follows you like um what the fuck Jimmy are you leaving or wut not cos you wanna and you couldn't be closer and you haven't stopped since you started even when you were also moving, oh no never for that reason] Janis: [literal like in no world did they need this entire display also how you gonna stop, least his manager can come through to make that happen] Jimmy: [just like ahem #awkward because you know they wouldn't have stopped when he first appeared cos too into it so it's like EXCUSE YOU] Janis: [how shaming if either of you could care] Jimmy: [HOORAY for not feeling shame because yeah Jimothy you're gonna have to sit with him now and get told off looking that poor manager in the eye] Janis: [honestly you'd wanna die if you weren't so highkey distracted] Jimmy: [wait until Ian hears about this, he'll want you to die too] Janis: [nooooooooo] Jimmy: [no wonder he don't like Janis, no offense babe we know his actual reasons ain't that but] Janis: [she does get him fired we all know] Jimmy: [thank god he gets another job cos can you imagine if he couldn't they were all like no thanks you saucy bastard] Janis: [whoops, have to leave forreal] Jimmy: [how the hell are we gonna kick off a 'normal' convo between them after that MY GOD] Janis: how much trouble you in Jimmy: Not enough that I care Janis: good, not looking to + my IOUs that hard Janis: worked though, yeah Jimmy: How many stories has Mia posted? Janis: [screenshot of the longest line of stories ever but she's only on the first one 'cos not watching] Janis: more detailed than 24 hour news Jimmy: I get that I ain't the focus on her obsession, but get my angles, fuck's sake Janis: 💔 Janis: be more blatant, girl Jimmy: This plays like the Love Actually wedding video Janis: 😂 Janis: Keira should've told her husband to sort his friend, honestly Jimmy: I'm waiting for my full crop and her floating bobble head where mine were Janis: literally gonna haunt my nightmares, thanks Jimmy: Soz, I ain't seen her commit that edit yet if that helps Jimmy: we all know you can afford the software girl, sort it out Janis: no time if she wants to break the story Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: it wouldn't take long if she knew what she was doing Jimmy: could've asked me Janis: we all know now she's not arsed about you Janis: sorry, dear Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Jimmy: brb jumping off the roof Janis: could you wait a bit Janis: so it doesn't look like an immediate reaction to me Jimmy: gimme something better to do then Janis: well, I was sure you'd be sent home Janis: dunno how you managed that, jammy git Jimmy: #effortless Janis: must be Jimmy: 😎 Janis: sure you've got loads of invites in your DMs then, boy Jimmy: Yeah but Janis: but what Jimmy: I don't fancy it, do I Janis: still up to me and me alone then, is it Jimmy: for a bit Janis: okay Janis: see what I can do Jimmy: a full day's work won't 💀💀💀 you, rich girl Jimmy: promise Janis: my sister might beat you to it anyway Jimmy: she can try 🏆💪 we've got a pact and I called it ages ago Janis: can argue that one with her, if you like Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: have lost my voice going for it with Ian, not fazed by hers Janis: it's pretty grating tbh but you know Janis: nothing worse than the way she types Jimmy: Oi, there's nowt as annoying or loud as me Janis: don't need to lie to make you feel good about yourself Jimmy: Good Jimmy: a lie wouldn't Janis: and you're a cocky little shit without my help so Jimmy: with your help an' all though Janis: works for me Jimmy: I know Janis: what does that even mean 😏 Jimmy: What do you reckon it means? Jimmy: It means I know Janis: that definitely means you're chatting shit then Jimmy: If saying that I am works for you, babe Janis: 😑 taking the piss now Jimmy: Nah Jimmy: do what you've gotta do Janis: so fucking cryptic Jimmy: 🧩 me Janis: 😎 Jimmy: *😎🚬 Janis: OMG, smoking is NOT a personality trait Jimmy: I'm keeping you updated Jimmy: like a good boyfriend Jimmy: my whereabouts, what I'm up to etc Janis: subtle hint Janis: Mia teach you before she went? Jimmy: I weren't in the room as she 👀 it, remember Janis: on another 🪐 Jimmy: where you and her 😍💕💋💋 Janis: not funny, you Jimmy: a bit Jimmy: You gonna give me your update like a good girlfriend then or what? Janis: actually going gym Janis: as I've got the gear on, makes sense Jimmy: 💪🏆 gotta keep it goals babe Jimmy: one day I'll have to show you how it's really done, like Janis: 😂 Janis: ok, that was funny Janis: you've redeemed yourself, welldone Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: I get it, you're scared I'll make you look a right tit Janis: mhmm Janis: scared I'll be overcome by how manly you are and all Jimmy: no need to be at the gym for that, mate Janis: just how you live your life Janis: 👌 Jimmy: 😏 Janis: you dope Jimmy: taking that as a compliment 😎 Jimmy: as only a 45 year old bloke can Janis: oh yeah, how's your 💘 after that Jimmy: I ain't about to have a heart attack, you're alright Jimmy: one lung but there ain't nowt wrong with the rest of my organs Janis: good to know Janis: though my case to sue you is definitely more viable anyway Jimmy: 💰💰 talks and you've got more of it to chat bollocks about me with Janis: you've been warned Jimmy: You loved it, I've got enough witnesses Janis: very unreliable Janis: they all hate me Jimmy: I will an' all if you drag me to court Jimmy: ain't got a suit or owt and I ain't buying one for you unless we 💍 Janis: fake marriage is too far, we agreed Janis: though would LOVE to ask them all to be my bridesmaids so I could dress them in the ugliest shit and watch the meltdowns ensue Jimmy: Go on, all marriages are fake any road Janis: just string out the engagment and planning then blow that shit up on the day Janis: s'a proper finale Jimmy: knew you'd get it 💕 Janis: suck on that pregnant amie Janis: steal your ✨ Jimmy: if she'd left it at that she might not be 🤰 Janis: don't make me laugh Jimmy: why? not enough cardio for you or? Janis: 'cos I'll look mental and not the new image I'm going for, tah Jimmy: Fine, I'll make you 😳 Janis: you can try Jimmy: [sends her a pic of all those epic love bites she did cos they'd look WILD the next day like] Janis: they look pretty Janis: very artsy Jimmy: proper Georgia O’Keeffe you Janis: 😒 I know she was the vag obsessed one, twat Jimmy: 'Course you do Janis: shut up Janis: not a moron Janis: or a lesbian Jimmy: Don't need to tell me Janis: 🖕 Jimmy: Baby Janis: such a windup, you Janis: gotta have finished your 🚬 by now Jimmy: ain't that 👴 Jimmy: giving it my best go with my oxygen on Janis: cute Jimmy: So you want 75 not 45? Alright Janis: your type, not mine Janis: a fucked 45 is fine Jimmy: OUR type, babe, and I'm gonna find him Jimmy: challenge accepted Jimmy: 💕 Janis: 💕 Janis: stop being a goals fella and go do your job whilst you still got it Jimmy: that is my job Jimmy: Stop flirting with me Jimmy: making me miss you and that Janis: if you don't you'll make me look bad Jimmy: couldn't obvs Janis: yeah her 😍 know no bounds, fair Jimmy: Oi, mine an' all Janis: awh, you jealous Jimmy: Of her? Jimmy: Yeah she's well close to 💀💀💀 and all I can do is wait Jimmy: 🚬💔🎻☕ Jimmy: #friendzonedbythegrimreaper Janis: always the bridesmaid, her Janis: you know you're 🥈 to my 🥇, baby Jimmy: you on the 🥊? Jimmy: that backhander really hit 😵😵😵 Janis: [selfie like pow pow] Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Janis: 😏 Jimmy: [flirty posts and shit to keep it 'safe' haha] Janis: [as if anyone is doubting you rn, they seen enough lmao] Janis: you go this hard with your actual missus, like Jimmy: You've got her attention, be easy enough to go on and ask Janis: seriously Jimmy: What you reckon all that carry on at the CG dont matter to anyone but 👑💀? Janis: well idk do I Janis: why would I Jimmy: Talk of this town and the north Janis: at least any beatdowns will only be 📱 Janis: unless she likes you that much still she'll get on a plane or ferry, like Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: what outcome are you crossing your fingers for there Janis: 'scuse me Jimmy: What kind of question is that? Janis: jussayin Janis: not fake fighting for you Jimmy: 💔 Janis: not agreed to that level of soap drama Jimmy: where you draw the line that? Jimmy: 👌 Janis: I mean Janis: not pregnant rn is she? Janis: fair game Jimmy: I should've opened with asking Jimmy: bit late now Janis: yeah, gonna look weird now Janis: subtlety is not your strong suit Jimmy: It's alright, it ain't hers either Janis: 👍 Jimmy: But I reckon if her hubby had it in him to put it in her since the last 🤰 she wouldn't be in my DMs Jimmy: 👴💔 Janis: never know Janis: pregnancy makes you mental Jimmy: Yeah Janis: later then Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [later] Janis: did kayleigh f invite you to her party too Jimmy: I dunno, did she? Janis: not your secretary Janis: check your dms Jimmy: hang on Jimmy: I ain't seeing her, have to crash 👮🚔 Janis: why am I so popular, damn Jimmy: gay icon Janis: ha 🖕 Janis: you actually want to go or Jimmy: Do you? Janis: idk Janis: ain't got nothing else on Jimmy: Who is she? Janis: hmm Janis: not sure what her identifier is, but she's alright, does sports science and shit too Jimmy: The party'll be alright an' all then Janis: doubt the squad'll be there so improvement on the last Jimmy: works for me Janis: if you're allowed, like Janis: ⛔ Jimmy: She gonna stop me at the door? Jimmy: bit rude Janis: 😏 Janis: nah Janis: guestlist can't be that exclusive if an invite found me Janis: not like we're bffs is it Jimmy: I'll go over the fence to be safe, leave a window open for me or whatever Janis: such a show-off Jimmy: You love a show, Juliet Janis: hm Janis: keep your feet on the ground, yeah Jimmy: Bit late for that 👻 Janis: 👏 alright, got me there Jimmy: right where I want you, babe 🎯💘 Janis: yeah, and where's that? Jimmy: 😏 Janis: gotta get those hourly updates Janis: could be ANYWHERE Jimmy: could be lost Jimmy: Where's this lass live? Janis: good question Janis: oh, like 10 minute walk from yours Janis: [the deets] Janis: easy Jimmy: might get there before my 👮🚔 co-workers then Janis: well i'll be ages Janis: and not 'cos i wanna be fashionably late Janis: so see you there Jimmy: I get it, looking proper #goals takes you longer than it does me 😎 Janis: 🙄 Janis: more like my gaff is in the middle of fucking nowhere and I ain't there rn but I can't go like this Jimmy: Where are you? Gotta be near 🛍 Jimmy: do your thing, rich girl Janis: who am I Jimmy: No idea, who are you? Janis: not a bitch who's gonna get new clothes for a party Jimmy: Alright, you can wear mine, stop begging Janis: however could I pull off such a 😎 look Janis: I daren't Jimmy: 🙀 you Jimmy: never up for a challenge or owt Janis: what's challenging about your style Janis: been same since 1956 Jimmy: You pulling it off, so you said Jimmy: 🤷 if you can't, you can't Jimmy: see you when I see you Janis: and you lost your ability to detect sarcasm, alright Jimmy: might never have had it, how would you know? Janis: giving you benefit of the doubt that you ain't a total idiot but alright Janis: maybe not Jimmy: giving me what's dangerously close to a real compliment an' all there Jimmy: thank fuck you took it back before things got weird Janis: don't sound like me Jimmy: might not be Jimmy: can't 👀 or 👂 you Janis: yeah it's your biggest fan surprise Jimmy: that dickhead Jill is my biggest fan Jimmy: why I'm fake dating her Janis: get lost Janis: you're so annoying Jimmy: Probably will in a bit Jimmy: dry your eyes til then Janis: have you got a problem, like Janis: your sense of direction is for shit Jimmy: It's how they keep northerners in the north, mate Jimmy: ain't even allowed to leave in a ⚰ Jimmy: but 🤞 they bury you right way up Janis: you mean you don't want god to kiss your ass? Janis: seems like something you'd be about Jimmy: He ain't really my type Jimmy: 👴 maybe but a bit of a knobhead Jimmy: and there's the not being real Jimmy: got a fake girlfriend already tah Janis: one to talk 👻 boy Janis: that's just a third of his personality and it's your whole schtick Janis: jealous, clearly Jimmy: You reckon I'm jealous of everyone I ain't Jimmy: getting a bit awkward now Janis: is it Janis: sensitive and all Janis: n'awh Jimmy: I get it, you're that in the dark Jimmy: hang on, I'll put my 📸 on Jimmy: sort you out Janis: about what Jimmy: It's no bother, dark corners can be very #goals Jimmy: just don't 🙀🙀🙀 Jimmy: know what you're like, Jasmine Janis: cats ain't afraid of the dark, boy Jimmy: You don't play by the rules, girl Jimmy: or do you now? Janis: how much do you think has changed in one afternoon? Jimmy: Been a bit since I last had an #update from you Jimmy: could be owt or nowt Janis: ain't the only one capable of mystery, like Jimmy: Good Jimmy: this party'll be shit if I am Janis: what do you reckon you can get away with when you're my plus 1 Jimmy: my name ain't down but I'm still coming in Jimmy: do owt else I want once I manage that Janis: don't be stupid Janis: you know what I'm saying Jimmy: Make up your mind, am I stupid or what? Janis: you're being it if you reckon you can get with someone when I'm at the same party Jimmy: I never said that's what I reckoned Jimmy: I get that you're new to it, but there's more than one way to be mysterious Janis: everything is always about sex, end of Jimmy: For you paddys maybe Janis: pretty sure it's universal but alright Janis: whatever Jimmy: Are you? Janis: am I..? Jimmy: Are you so sure I wanna fuck some girl at this party even though I've been doing all this bollocks to stay single Jimmy: well done Jimmy: You've cracked it, like Janis: 1. single doesn't mean abstinent Janis: 2. why do you say stupid shit that sounds a certain way then get pissed when I take you at said dumb fucking thing you said Janis: 3. i don't care who you do or don't fuck but if that's what you wanna do, probably don't have me there for it Jimmy: I'd ask why you take everything the wrong way but that's obviously what you wanna do Janis: just say you're talking bollocks if that's what you're doing Janis: but also take it somewhere else 'cos I don't need it Jimmy: It ain't but go on and piss off yourself if you like Janis: First good idea you've had Jimmy: Take it then Janis: do what I like, thanks Jimmy: 👍 Janis: and I got invited so how about you don't come Jimmy: You said it yourself, no way you're getting there 1st Janis: fuck you Janis: you don't even know her Jimmy: I don't know anyone Jimmy: race you 😘 Janis: poor you Jimmy: Lucky me Jimmy: Poor you Janis: don't need your sympathy fake or otherwise Jimmy: Fake or not, you ain't having it Janis: 💔 Janis: oh no Jimmy: Ill play the 🎻s when I'm on the clock if it's alright with you Janis: I don't care what you do as long as it's not at this party Jimmy: 💔💔😭 Janis: yeah yeah Jimmy: You finished? Janis: with this convo Janis: why not Janis: with you in general Janis: sadly no Jimmy: Tah for the detailed update Janis: what you asked for Jimmy: 💕 Janis: hope you find your way back home at some point Jimmy: can't stay pissed off at me you Janis: if you leave, sure Janis: your standards are that low Jimmy: Don't worry, staying aint part of my plan Janis: good for you Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: 👍 Jimmy: [we should skip to this party which he obviously gets to first, damn you Cali and your postcode] Janis: [this is such a bad idea like always] Jimmy: [living for it] Janis: [just showing up and avoiding your boyf like hmm okay lmao] Jimmy: [at least he's avoiding everyone anyway cos antisocial bastard so makes it less obvious that he's even there] Janis: [at some point y'all are both gonna end up at the drinks so] Jimmy: [we know that is where he's forever at getting drunk (great idea boy) unless he's outside 🚬 so easy done] Janis: [i die just like sup] Jimmy: [so will he when he sees her serving a look] Janis: [at least you can 'pretend' you've had a domestic, be that couple for the night but still, probably acknowledge each other's existence 'found your way then'] Jimmy: [believable that you could have cos nobody else needs to know he don't give a fuck about his manager or getting in trouble and everyone would be talking about earlier still. He shrugs because always. 'without your help or owt, almost like I dont need you'] Janis: ['well let me know when it stops being almost and I can get on with my shit, yeah? taking a can/bottle/whatever and walking away like good talk] Jimmy: [5ever watching her walk away] Janis: [why are you two here, being such delights lollollol] Jimmy: [Im gonna say he is playing drinking games because peeps have been trying to get him too since he got there cos of that new boy shine honey and theyve worn him down cos hard to resist a challenge or a drink] Janis: 🏆💪 Jimmy: 🍻 Janis: even when you lose, it's a win Jimmy: 🥇 or 🤢 Janis: not if you can handle your drink Jimmy: they can't, soz to piss on your expectations Janis: 💔 Jimmy: 🎻🍀💔 Janis: tunes can't get much more morbid Jimmy: change them then Janis: won't change the crowd but yeah maybe Jimmy: You've handled worse Janis: don't be so hard on yourself Jimmy: Why would I, got you for that Janis: come on Jimmy: Deny it Jimmy: never off the clock on that one, you Janis: ain't personal Janis: don't get to feeling special for it, like Jimmy: 👌 Janis: anyway, you give it back so don't act like you're 😢 Jimmy: I ain't acting tonight, tah though Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: try not to need a 🚬 for the next 5 k Janis: [goes out, obvs] Jimmy: I'll live Janis: good, don't need your death on my conscience Jimmy: I know 😇 you Jimmy: be alright Janis: not likely Jimmy: What do you want me to say to that? Janis: say what you want, you ain't acting Jimmy: fucked if I wanna say nowt Jimmy: already done mute to 💀💀💀 today Jimmy: and I gotta stay alive for a bit Janis: so that's my fault, yeah Jimmy: Nah Janis: it's not my fault people won't get off your dick because you're the new boy Jimmy: never said it were Janis: you treat me like it is Jimmy: and you treat me like what? Janis: how am I meant to treat you Jimmy: how am I meant to treat you Janis: I don't fucking know Janis: you're this weird kid who just asked me to do this crazy scheme with him and I'm the idiot who said yes, I guess Janis: but I don't think you knew what you were asking any more than I knew what I was going along with Jimmy: Stop it then Janis: why should it be me Janis: and why is that all you have to say Jimmy: Why shouldn't it be you, that were the plan Jimmy: and why would I say owt else when that's where this is going Janis: a plan you changed Janis: and acting like you have no stakes in whether it ends now or not makes it make even less sense Jimmy: Change it back Jimmy: not acting, remember Janis: then tell the fucking truth Jimmy: I fucking did Janis: what's the point Janis: alright Jimmy: There ain't any, that's what we're both saying Janis: least not one we're happy to admit to Jimmy: You're so Janis: we're gonna go for this again Janis: didn't work last time but go on Jimmy: Piss off Janis: why can't you say it Jimmy: this is fucking stupid Janis: yeah no shit Jimmy: I'm going home Janis: why did you come Jimmy: Why did you? Janis: to see if you would Janis: probably get drunk Jimmy: There you go then Janis: no you can't steal my answer Janis: then you'll just say you never actually said it and it's just bullshit to hide behind Jimmy: I'm here, that's my answer Jimmy: it weren't cause I desperately wanted shots to do to a shit soundtrack Janis: okay Janis: then go Jimmy: is it? Janis: if that's the only reason you're here Jimmy: I came here for you, you twat Jimmy: but alright, I'll go for you then Janis: don't just Janis: why is it like pulling teeth Jimmy: fuck you Janis: why Jimmy: I didn't sign on for this Jimmy: I can't just Janis: you think I did Jimmy: no Janis: you are literally the only other person who can get it and also the one fucking person who won't talk about it Jimmy: what do you want me to say? Jimmy: that this is Jimmy: or that I Janis: that it's not just Janis: fuck Jimmy: You know it's not Jimmy: every dickhead knows it's not Janis: I can't be Janis: I don't wanna be what we've pretended Janis: I ain't but Jimmy: It's alright Jimmy: what do you want? Janis: you know Jimmy: I wanna know Jimmy: come here Janis: where are you Jimmy: on the stairs Janis: [comes in Jimmy: [the eye contact bitch] Janis: [when that's all you're doing 'cos you suddenly can't move like] Jimmy: [deer in the headlights moment but dont worry babe hes gonna move and pull you SO close to him that you will die] Janis: [least that would kickstart you into being very clear with what you want] Jimmy: [likewise cos once you do start it's just like a not at all casual free for all of everything you both want] Janis: [heaven help anyone tryna use them stairs like excuse me] Jimmy: [you better find another way peeps because they cannot be tamed rn] Janis: [breaking away to be like 'we can just try it, right?'] Jimmy: [just nodding because if he speaks hes gonna say too much and none of us are ready] Janis: ['no phones, no fans'] Jimmy: [throws his phone to one side dramatically because that bitch] Janis: [when you lol but are also genuinely like 😍 so we back at it] Jimmy: [Its a good thing the squad arent here cos they would know he aint mute LOL so much so you have to stop for a sec and once you do 'when I said I wanted to leave some shit to mystery, this is what I meant. All I meant. For a night, none of the usual bollocks. Just me and you'] Janis: [nods 'I believe you. All the rest just had me in a bad mood. I mean I always am but when-' shakes head 'doesn't matter now'] Jimmy: [moves her hair out of her face after she's shaken her head because #shameless need to always touch it okay and just looking at her like you can tell me cos she can 'go on'] Janis: [bites lip but in an actual nervous way not a saucy one though you know same effect 'I was just fed up with all the things getting in the way of...this, as was, so then when you mentioned your ex- like I don't care if you get back with her but it's why I was so' shrugs like you know] Jimmy: ['I want you to care about me getting back with her more than I'd ever wanna really get back with her' when you just blurt that out nbd quietly but still boy are you drunk enough to be chatting like that, excuse you] Janis: [when you're just looking at him like did I hear that right or am I also that gone and going so red, mumbling 'you know I do'] Jimmy: [nodding in the direction of up the stairs 'let's go up, there's too many dickheads can see us' because its awks and also no fans is meant to be the point] Janis: [yeah probably do find some privacy] Jimmy: [probably the room of this poor girl that didnt even invite him] Janis: like excuse me madam you did not ask for this at least they didn't have a blazing row and ruin your whole ass party] Jimmy: [him shutting the door but then just standing against the back of it like UM cos his turn to freeze, boy this is why you dont speak, going too hard when you do] Janis: [least she's not like we MUST talk now 'cos also the pressing matter of actually being able to make out and not film it or cater to a crowd] Jimmy: [omg just being able to do what you legit wanna] Janis: [a mood, let's hope this girl's room ain't too distracting, have to be going some like] Jimmy: [I vote for a double bed because they deserve that] Janis: [the luxury, get on that boys] Jimmy: [actually having some space in all the ways, imagine] Janis: [not that he's about it or her tbh we know] Jimmy: [but at least you wont fall out if you move guys] Janis: [are we gonna cockblock this before it can go all the way] Jimmy: [probably should cos the way we did their first time before was pretty swag from what I remember, not saying this wouldnt still be but] Janis: [agree though, and easily done like get out me room] Jimmy: [yeah and you can still get pretty far before then we dont need to be that mean] Janis: [things can happen honey] Jimmy: [theyd have to because you cant tell me they wouldnt take the opportunity to touch each other in all the ways you cant upload anywhere or let happen with an audience, shameless as you are, and therefore have had no excuse to do]] Janis: [truly 'cos how bad you would've rather been doing this and she'd be telling him as much] Jimmy: [he would blatantly tell her that too but dying too much so you will have to decode it from the eye contact and other sounds he is giving you instead babe] Janis: [when that's such a mood and I highly doubt how Harry was lol] Jimmy: [ugh god no, he's such a twat] Janis: [defs not thinking about that rn like whomst] Jimmy: [they are gonna be FUMING when they get kicked out of this room cos never enough when youve been waiting and holding back for any length of time] Janis: [literally like opened the floodgates honey this hasn't solved anything but we getting there bless] Jimmy: [you thought you two were frustrated af before hahaha] Janis: [gotta give a reason why they can't just go home together tho, actually] Jimmy: [ooh maybe they do but Ians heard about the CG antics so he kicks off when he hears them come back, lowkey waiting for that fight like] Janis: [that's a good idea also brb wanna die] Jimmy: [at least she can go to Mcvickers when he has to kick her out cos not far Janis: [not that Ian cares, dangerous frankly sir] Jimmy: [honestly she could get murdered you slag] Janis: [giving some time for them to argue but not that much 'cos highkey] Janis: you alright Jimmy: You? Janis: yeah 'course Janis: sorry I got you in shit Jimmy: You've done nowt wrong Janis: probably debatable that Jimmy: alright gimme chance to stop with this bellend and I'll debate it with you Janis: let you focus on that one 🥇 Jimmy: harder work than a latte him Janis: savage Janis: hope you hit him with that burn Janis: oh, forgot about yours Jimmy: I can do better than that me 🥇 Jimmy: oh shit, me an' all Jimmy: ✋ didn't fall off though, must be alright Janis: 🤞 or I've really fucked it with Ian Janis: no one wants a one-handed babysitter, even if he's live-in Jimmy: wouldn't be very goals for a boyfriend either Jimmy: I'd make it work but like a fake hand is going a bit far Janis: pretty macho Janis: pretend you lost it in a 🦈 attack Jimmy: can only be a duel, Juliet, come on Janis: damn, you right Janis: don't have a cousin who's in love with me though Janis: hope I don't, anyway, awkward to find out like this Jimmy: be fun round the Easter table Jimmy: 💔 I don't have any cousins Janis: Poor boy Janis: idk if he was related to that first bitch anyway so there's still hope Jimmy: I'd only be stuck looking after them too, ain't that 💔 or 💰 broke Janis: fair Janis: more trouble than they're worth in all areas Jimmy: got enough on with this dickhead dad Janis: yeah Janis: liked it better when he weren't there, tbh Jimmy: #same Jimmy: 🙏 for us when you're done making sure my hand stays on Janis: add it to the list Janis: hard work but a 😇 gotta do it Jimmy: good 'cause I wanna touch you again Janis: yeah? Jimmy: and 🤖 💕 not what I were necessarily thinking Janis: 😏 Janis: leave the vibrator at home okay Jimmy: hang on, can't turn down extra limbs if I've already lost one Janis: make up your 🧠 Jimmy: Oi, I'm thinking of you here Janis: so the considerate thing weren't an act, interesting Jimmy: shut up Janis: so cute 💕 Jimmy: I just Janis: it's alright, only pissing about Jimmy: don't sound like you Janis: promise it is Janis: not an opportunist mugger Jimmy: 👴💕 Jimmy: want me so bad they're willing to do owt now Janis: bit rude to use me as collateral Jimmy: they might not have that long to live, be fair Janis: so that means I've gotta wait Janis: 😒 Jimmy: we've got a pact you ain't dying without me Jimmy: and not til you couldn't 💕 me more Janis: alright Janis: what's one more day Jimmy: only gonna feel like a slow 💀💀💀 Janis: you're telling me Jimmy: I am, yeah Janis: mean Jimmy: Baby Janis: don't Janis: I miss you but I actually mean it Jimmy: I Jimmy: where are you? I'll get myself there then Janis: don't get into more trouble or never actually see you again Janis: real starcrossed shit Jimmy: 👻💕 Jimmy: You reckon I've got into enough for you? I don't Janis: Jimmy Jimmy: I can handle so much more, girl Janis: you can't come here Janis: let me think of something Jimmy: Alright Janis: okay, if I can get us a car, don't ask where it's from, yeah Jimmy: not actually a 👮🚔 babe Janis: good, 'cos my rep really can't handle that Jimmy: the rep I gave you can handle anything I also wanna give you Jimmy: including my dad's 🚗🔑 Janis: yeah? Janis: 'cos I got one for tonight, less likely to miss it than mr 😡 rn Jimmy: Less of a fuck you an' all but you're right Janis: don't need any more interruptions Janis: actual 🚨s included Jimmy: actual crashes too 'cause I'm a shit driver anyway Jimmy: not how I wanna kill you Janis: not how I'm planning on going out either Janis: I'm alright, and we need to be in the middle of nowhere so Janis: come to this address Janis: [mcvickers house soz i'm stealing your car lads] Jimmy: [should we let him go or not though?] Janis: [that's the real questions and I'm fine with it going either way at this point tbh, Ian would probably be being highkey but that could mean forcing him to stay in or kicking him out so you decide] Jimmy: [yeah exactly either is plausible as is her getting caught by Mcvickers so 🤔🤔🤔] Janis: [oh, might be good to burn that bridge for a bit so then she simply has to stay at his 'cos can never be home] Jimmy: [omg true lets do that then] Janis: [triggering everyone with your illegal driving like your sister ain't die] Jimmy: [its the only way Tess would be angry enough to be like get out tbh so real] Janis: [a new boy for you to hate in your old age god bless] Jimmy: [why not its been a while lol] Jimmy: ? Janis: fucking Janis: i'm Janis: you should go Jimmy: tell me you're alright or I'm going nowhere Janis: i am Janis: i mean i'm beyond fucked off but par for the course Jimmy: 👌 Janis: this is so stupid Jimmy: par for the course that Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: you have no idea 🙄 Janis: the ample opportunity we've had up until we actually need it takes the piss Jimmy: Sorry Jimmy: genuinely Janis: same but Janis: don't mention it Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: exactly Janis: sincerity is scary, boy Jimmy: 🙀 you Jimmy: be fucked if you weren't fit, Janet Janis: shut up Jimmy: you wanted insincere, mate Janis: no middleground, no Jimmy: very 🥉 thinking that Janis: go away Janis: don't have time for 2 arguments Jimmy: me either Janis: 🤐 or 😴 Jimmy: Alright Janis: any chance of your dad forgetting what I look like any time soon Jimmy: We were barely in the door Janis: not like he knows my name if you don't so 🤞 Jimmy: Gonna have to change it for him anyway, remember Jimmy: no ie ending no 💍 Janis: just a place to crash again is fine Jimmy: Julie's basically it any road Jimmy: won't miss the odd letter, will you Janis: my actual has 2 letters in common but yeah Janis: whatever works Jimmy: 🌹 whatever you're called, like #obvs Janis: 👌 Jimmy: 👍 Janis: not necessary tonight so give him time to get over it Janis: just you keep 😍 #obvs Jimmy: soon as I can get back in, I'll let you Janis: where are you gonna go Jimmy: It'll be morning in a bit and then I'll go work Janis: I am sorry Janis: make it up to you Janis: but there's no chance she's turning this car around to pick you up Jimmy: he don't need an excuse to be a prick Jimmy: and Ill survive a shift without my name badge Janis: still, he got one Janis: I left a blanket and shit at the park near yours last time, strapped under the ramp but it's usually gone if I leave it too long so Janis: but Jamie's the best 💔 Jimmy: that's like saying I deserve this, fuck that Jimmy: Jamie might Janis: nah Janis: you know what I meant Janis: and Jamie was into it okay, I'll have a word Jimmy: don't go near him, I don't trust that dickhead 😏 Janis: I'll try but Janis: hard to stay away Jimmy: I'll have a word then Jimmy: he's too 😍😍😍 for you if you ask me Janis: what's it to ya Jimmy: nowt Jimmy: just looking out for you, mate Janis: cheers 😏 Jimmy: You coming to the CG before your wanted posters go up then? Janis: once I've been delivered home for my 2nd bollocking Janis: not planning on sticking around Jimmy: I'm opening up for the rest of the hols as my manager's idea of mine Jimmy: tell them to get it over with and you can stick around here Janis: alright Janis: see you after my great escape then 🤞 Janis: you opening alone or you got your bff with Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: the lass with the extensions? Yeah Tony ain't thought that through Janis: as if I've had 👀 for anyone but Pete, you fool Jimmy: What kind of rumoured lesbian are you? Jimmy: sort yourself out Janis: don't sound like my type Janis: fake? no thanks Jimmy: I mean, she ain't 💀👑 so I get you don't want the competition over tits Janis: fuck off Jimmy: her hair'll still fall out if you pull it, you can make that similarity with Mia work Janis: 😑 Janis: so unfunny Janis: good thing you're fit Jimmy: and I've got 😎 + 🚬 for my personality traits Janis: don't do it for me but sure Jimmy: that sounds dead fake but alright Janis: how does that sound like anything I've ever faked Janis: check your socials, there's way more 😍💕😘 Jimmy: I'd love to obvs but it ain't tomorrow yet Jimmy: and tonight we said none of that bollocks Janis: right Janis: how are we gonna do the fake shit though Janis: going forward Janis: still business as usual or 💀 Jimmy: Is that your way of saying you wanna fake break up to secretly date me or what? Janis: no Janis: idk Janis: is it gonna be weird Janis: weirder Jimmy: always were weird Janis: well yeah Janis: note that -er Jimmy: I don't see how it'll be owt different to faking shit when I didn't like you Janis: alright Janis: why not Janis: not not working Jimmy: we can just see how it goes Jimmy: play it by 👂 if you can leave me one 🧛 girl Janis: no promises 👻 boy Jimmy: 😏 Janis: you sure you want me coming in Jimmy: You don't wanna? Janis: I wanna see you Janis: you see my point Jimmy: I'll see if I can ban them all Jimmy: challenge accepted Janis: I mean Janis: gotta win your manager back 'round somehow Janis: order all the lattes you can, gals Jimmy: come and splash your own cash, rich girl Jimmy: won't need them then Janis: you want me to 💩 myself Jimmy: you got me Jimmy: 😍😍🤤🤤 Jimmy: proper kink for me that Janis: save it for the 3rd date Jimmy: you asking me out? Janis: depends Janis: you asking me to shit on you Jimmy: Depends Jimmy: You gonna be 💔 if I don't? Janis: obvs Janis: lifelong ambition Jimmy: There you go then Jimmy: owt to please you I said Janis: is it the next day already 💕 Jimmy: If you want Janis: sounds like some good ole fashioned fake shit, is all Janis: but fair, can't hear over the 📢 coming at me rn Jimmy: You know me and habits Janis: honestly Janis: can't let it go eh Jimmy: wouldn't wanna scare you, easy done that Janis: 🖕 Janis: not that dependent on it, funnily enough Jimmy: 👌 Janis: the fans, that's another story of 💔 Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: let 'em down gently, babe Jimmy: what kind of bad boy Janis: the fake kind Jimmy: 🤞 the cancer risk is an' all Janis: should be vaping soft lad Jimmy: Piss off Janis: 😏 Jimmy: I know that's what you really want from me, babe Jimmy: but you'll have to find a lad who likes you enough to look that much of a twat Janis: then you don't know what I really want from you Jimmy: You gonna change your mind in a bit? Janis: if you're asking if I'll want a 🚬 after, don't be tight Janis: can spare me one Jimmy: Don't be a dickhead, whenever you've asked you've had Janis: and they say romance is dead Janis: not met you Jimmy: Tweet it tomorrow, like Janis: thought we'd started Janis: overachiever Jimmy: Why? Janis: 'owt to please you I said' you kicking us off Jimmy: Nah, it'd be fake if I said I didn't wanna when you know I do Janis: how long is your lunch and when Jimmy: I dunno when but I know it ain't long enough Janis: is that a humblebrag or actual though Jimmy: I said what I said Janis: 😒 Jimmy: What? Janis: not at you Janis: just the rest Janis: gonna go on a long fucking run Janis: nice knowing you if I end up in a different town, start again Jimmy: Alright Janis: got to wait for everyone else to fuck off Janis: ridiculous Jimmy: Swap places with me then Janis: alright Janis: get me a nametag, like Jimmy: Which one do you want on it? Janis: surprise me Janis: I'm method Jimmy: Yeah, love a surprise you Jimmy: I worked that out Janis: what you talking about Jimmy: 😏 Janis: don't 😏 at me Jimmy: Or what? Janis: I don't know but don't be mean Janis: won't come and see you Janis: 💔 that Jimmy: you Jimmy: that's meaner than owt I've said Janis: I know Janis: don't play around, me Jimmy: 😭😭 me Janis: baby Jimmy: How drunk am I? Janis: if anyone asks, we ain't Janis: but probably a fair bit Janis: beer pong champ Jimmy: easy to get 🥇 when you ain't playing, pisshead Janis: dangerously close to a compliment Jimmy: Take it Jimmy: I don't mind Janis: should've just stayed on the stairs Janis: that's what we shoulda done Jimmy: We'd have been interrupted quicker doing what we were if we had Janis: probably Janis: don't reckon any of the party-goers would be as committed to the cockblock though Jimmy: Bit late to test your theory now Jimmy: have to be next time Janis: promise Jimmy: Do you or do I? Jimmy: what are you saying? Janis: you Janis: that there's gonna be a next time Janis: proper one, real Jimmy: Come on Janis: say it Janis: wanna hear it Janis: and have it in writing Jimmy: You're such a dickhead Jimmy: have that in writing Janis: what you pussying out for Jimmy: I already said I don't want you in and out on my lunch break Janis: fine Jimmy: Bollocks Janis: ain't forcing you to say nothing Janis: i don't care if you know i want you though, so have it Jimmy: Tonight you don't Janis: what Jimmy: You heard Janis: yeah and that's bollocks Janis: i'm not saying i'm in love with you or any of that fake shit, i'm saying i wanna fuck you Janis: have for ages so Jimmy: and I'm saying don't take the piss out of me 'cause I don't immediately say owt that I ain't been allowed to before now Janis: um i weren't Jimmy: Whatever Janis: i fucking weren't Janis: god forget it Jimmy: like that's easy an' all Jimmy: You're just Jimmy: so Janis: whatever it is, I'm sure I know Jimmy: 'Course you do Jimmy: know everything you Janis: yep Janis: that too Jimmy: Biggest fucking head in all of Dublin Janis: tell me it's unwarranted Jimmy: You make me feel like a massive idiot, that's what I'm telling you Janis: not what i set out to do Janis: and don't think you are, for the record but what do you want Jimmy: What do you want? Jimmy: nowt I say or don't is working for you Janis: I don't know, alright Jimmy: Dangerously close to the truth so probably not alright, is it? Janis: like you do Janis: now who's taking the piss Jimmy: Like I don't know what? What I want? Jimmy: that is a pisstake yeah Janis: well how would I know Janis: don't say shit Jimmy: 1. you do know Jimmy: 2. yeah I do Janis: whatever Jimmy: I'm not good with words that don't mean I'm not saying owt to you Jimmy: fuck's sake Janis: alright let's just Janis: it's been a long weird night Janis: we can leave it Jimmy: So now you want me to shut up? Jimmy: 👍 Janis: I didn't say that, dickhead Janis: like I said, not trying to force you to say anything, that's not what I'm about Jimmy: I'm not thick, I know what leave it out means Janis: Jesus Janis: I'm trying to be nice for once Jimmy: Clearly not gonna work, that Janis: 👍 Janis: thanks Jimmy: Save it, better at faking that bit you Janis: fuck you then Jimmy: not unless your 2nd attempt at kicking a car is better than the 1st Janis: ha Janis: don't count on it Jimmy: I obviously can't Jimmy: but I were well aware you can't do owt right the first time so don't worry Janis: at least I get there in the end Janis: you did fuck all, as per Jimmy: Get where? Jimmy: you're nowhere same as I am Janis: not for long Jimmy: Impressive Janis: don't care what you reckon Jimmy: Make up your mind Janis: never have Jimmy: I know, you don't have any idea what you want, you said Janis: don't flatter yourself Janis: that's only about you and you don't feature in the big picture do you Jimmy: Why would I bother? Plenty of other dickheads to flatter me, including you earlier Janis: so? Janis: why do you reckon I'm gonna be embarrassed Jimmy: Why do you care what I reckon even as you're saying you don't? Janis: because it's worth a laugh Janis: it's just sex, plenty of people want you, plenty want me, who cares Jimmy: My entire reason for doing this is that I care about how wants me and doesn't Jimmy: who* Jimmy: and you'd throw me to them if you didn't Jimmy: So stop talking bollocks Janis: it ain't Janis: it's not that simple Jimmy: Why? Jimmy: You either give a shit or you don't Jimmy: and you either want me or you don't Jimmy: sort it out Jimmy: and when you have just say it Janis: I said I do want you Janis: I literally said it and you rejected it outta hand Janis: just because I was trying to say how much of a headfuck it is because what's real and what's fake and what parts are both Jimmy: You also said that after you've had a go I can basically fucking vanish 'cause who cares Jimmy: loads of others Janis: I didn't say it like that Janis: or mean it like Janis: it's just weird alright Jimmy: You're weird Jimmy: I don't get you Janis: no kidding Janis: what would you rather, I was like them Jimmy: #obvs Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: what's the point in pretending Jimmy: Depends Janis: to get dickheads to leave you alone aside #obvs Jimmy: How shit is it gonna be to break the habit? Janis: shit Janis: nothing to say we can't stick at it 'til you're old news Jimmy: isn't there? Jimmy: I reckon owt's been said and done Janis: then it won't be hard to break the habit if that's what you think Jimmy: Alright Janis: 👍 Jimmy: Fuck pretending then Janis: fuck pretending Jimmy: Don't be scared of me Jimmy: you can say or do owt you want Janis: why do you think I'm scared Janis: of you or anything Jimmy: because Janis: what, because I'm angry all the time Jimmy: because recognition Jimmy: I am, I know you are Janis: why are you scared Jimmy: Why is the why important? Janis: Deflection's easier, yeah Jimmy: 💔 then Janis: well you don't need to worry about that Jimmy: Yeah I do Janis: in general, yeah Janis: but not with me Jimmy: You think you're never gonna hurt me? Jimmy: wearing enough bruises for you already, aren't I? Janis: that weren't me, don't count Jimmy: cheat Janis: nah Janis: just saying, not my sport Janis: 💔 Janis: got no interested in breaking yours Jimmy: flattered, like Jimmy: but that's what every lass says Janis: so Janis: not every girl is me, been discussed Jimmy: Alright, calm down Jimmy: not like I know you, been discussed an all Janis: up to you if you wanna find out then Janis: but the idea you think I've got the time or energy to dedicate to that is insulting Jimmy: I get it, I ain't special, no need to go on about it Jimmy: heard you at bigger picture Janis: nothing personal Janis: no one is Jimmy: nowt is with you Jimmy: but you don't reckon I should be on my guard Jimmy: very suspect that Janis: you worried about being collateral, duck Janis: just saying, not gonna make it my life's mission to fuck you up Jimmy: and I'm saying you want me to tell you things, put myself out there when it don't mean owt to you Jimmy: how's that fair Janis: I never asked you to bare your soul to me Janis: I asked you to say you wanted to fuck me as well Jimmy: Bollocks Jimmy: I did say that Jimmy: if that were all you wanted to hear you wouldn't call owt a headfuck Janis: I know you're vague on purpose Janis: that's why I asked you to say it, so it couldn't be taken back and said it was never said Janis: that's the headfuck Janis: all the previous shit can be wrote off as fake and neither of us can argue otherwise even if we wanna Jimmy: But if it's just sex which means fuck all to you or to me then why do you care what I say or don't after? Jimmy: that's why I don't get you Janis: same reason we started this Janis: everyone gets to talk shit on me Janis: not having it taken as gospel 'cos you put your dick inside me thanks Jimmy: I weren't about to screenshot and tweet out this convo once I did Janis: you're the only one that can be on his guard Janis: nah Jimmy: I'm the only fucker admitting that I am Jimmy: If you reckon I'm like that, like them, why would you even wanna do any of it? Janis: never said I reckoned that Jimmy: You think I'm gonna talk shit about you Janis: you could Janis: do it to my face plenty so why wouldn't you Jimmy: because I do it to your face Jimmy: go no reason to go anywhere else with it Janis: flattered, like Jimmy: just Janis: there's no way to guarantee any of this shit so we may as well agree to trust Janis: or not trust Janis: either or Jimmy: been worked out that we don't Janis: then it's settled Jimmy: is it? Janis: like I said, what we gonna do Janis: make a blood oath Jimmy: left my dagger up north, soz Jules Janis: then it definitely is Janis: letdown Jimmy: I'll delete my profiles then Jimmy: avoid you til school starts Janis: don't be stupid Jimmy: Oh alright, what kind of fake break up do you want? Janis: have you been listening Janis: for fuck sake Jimmy: Have you? Janis: shut up, that's literally so far from the point of anything we were just talking about Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: go to hell Janis: seriously Jimmy: Tah for the holiday recommendation but the CG's only place I'm off to for a bit Jimmy: close but no 🚬 Janis: good, I hope you suffer Jimmy: 🤞 and 🙏 Janis: no need, you miserable prick Jimmy: not totally clueless then Janis: you wish Jimmy: I do wish you would catch onto a few, yeah Janis: heard you at avoid you til school starts, don't worry Jimmy: 👍 Janis: you're an absolute cunt Janis: why would you get me to say it again just to Jimmy: Go on Janis: and all that bullshit about being scared about getting hurt too Janis: what the fuck Jimmy: Yeah, all of this is utter bollocks Jimmy: what the fuck is right though Jimmy: what the fuck else do you expect me to do? Janis: how the fuck do you take me REPEATEDLY telling you that I want you as 'I'm going to ignore you from now on, bye' Janis: literally are we having the same conversation Jimmy: How can you think telling me repeatedly what a low fucking opinion of me you've got of me is gonna put me in a 😍 mood? Jimmy: Or that this is a good idea when we don't trust each other Janis: where Jimmy: You want this to mean nowt and now there's nowt to worry about Janis: I never said I have a low opinion of you Janis: and you don't give a shit about what I want so don't even pretend for the bit Jimmy: how do you take me REPEATEDLY asking you what you want as not caring about the answer? Janis: when you do the opposite Janis: how else can I take that Jimmy: like I said, what else can I do? Janis: not what I want, apparently Janis: alright Jimmy: I really fucking like you, alright Janis: we don't even know each other, how many times have you said that Jimmy: not enough obviously Jimmy: if it didn't make any difference Janis: but Janis: why Jimmy: Why are you asking me like its my fault? Janis: not fault but I do everything Janis: did everything so this doesn't happen Jimmy: It might be fake Jimmy: a headfuck like you said Jimmy: everything just Janis: you think so Janis: yeah you liked fake me Janis: you don't like me, you say it all the time Jimmy: that'd make more sense Jimmy: but tonight was real and I liked that too Janis: this is a mess Janis: i am Janis: you shouldn't get involved just 'cos I wanna Jimmy: but it weren't one sided Jimmy: everything we did earlier I wanted to do it Jimmy: and everything we still haven't Janis: it'd be easier if we hated each other Janis: its okay if I like you but you shouldn't like me Jimmy: just do me a favour alright Janis: what Jimmy: keep being real with me so I can work it out Janis: i don't want to hurt you Janis: i don't know or care how i put it before but i don't Jimmy: I'll live Janis: Jimmy Jimmy: might be that tonight's a fluke, I'm drunk and you're fit, not gonna not be into it Jimmy: you Janis: alright Janis: then it's a deal Jimmy: What? Janis: I'll keep being real Janis: like you asked Jimmy: Promise Janis: promise Jimmy: Alright, I swear I'm sorry Janis: what for Janis: not saying there's so much you gotta be specific but Jimmy: Making this weird Jimmy: weirder Janis: weren't one-sided either Janis: it's what it is Jimmy: Will you still Janis: come see you? Jimmy: Do you still wanna? Janis: yeah Jimmy: Okay Janis: besides, someone needs to make sure you don't die on the job Janis: bring you some caffeine that doesn't taste like shit Jimmy: and deny Ian the pleasure of doing me in? What kind of son would I be Janis: so your dads a real dick yeah Jimmy: you were warned Janis: we need to pimp out your shed so you got a place to sleep Janis: I was thinking Jimmy: the trampoline's alright, like you said Jimmy: can't remember how you did but you liked it Janis: when it's warm-ish out, yeah Janis: was comfy Janis: you or that dog woke me up though Jimmy: It's always warm out compared to Manchester Jimmy: why I need my 😎 Jimmy: and everything is always the 🐕 never me Janis: take your word for it on both of those Janis: 😏 Jimmy: Good Jimmy: I get why you reckon it'd be easier for us to hate each other but I hate Ian and nowt is for it Janis: yeah Janis: you're right Janis: there's nothing easy about hate it's just Janis: more familiar, idk Jimmy: the 💔 is different Janis: right Janis: if you already hate them, then it's not as shit, yeah Jimmy: At least you don't love me, it's even shitter when it's both together Janis: yeah Janis: headfuck doesn't begin to cover it Jimmy: @ my mum if she still used her profiles Janis: you don't know? Jimmy: She ain't logged in for years, why do you reckon I'm so tempted Janis: can't blame her Jimmy: who could compete with Iantaylor8 for online presence Jimmy: other than us Janis: well exactly Janis: also be a bit rude to deny the world your face Jimmy: yours Jimmy: so I'll keep my 📷 one Jimmy: maybe Janis: as long as you don't avoid me too Jimmy: I don't want to Janis: then don't Janis: I don't want you to either Jimmy: tell me again tomorrow Jimmy: when I'm less Janis: gotcha Jimmy: it just hurts more now Janis: i'm sorry Janis: do you want me to come? i don't have to Jimmy: you didn't do this Janis: what do you need, let's start there Jimmy: Now? Janis: yeah, now Jimmy: Tomorrow Jimmy: it needs to be tomorrow so I can see you Janis: baby Janis: you can see me today, it's alright Janis: I'll help you at work, it'll all be good Jimmy: I'm not letting you serve lattes to any of those dickheads Jimmy: you're too good Janis: shh Janis: i wanna help you somehow, i've gotta Jimmy: Do you wanna just 💀💀💀 them? Jimmy: me and you Janis: killing spree then a death pact is a solid chain of events but probably want to start in a better state, don't we Janis: 💪🥇 Jimmy: can be an utterly new pact if there's enough poison to go round Jimmy: you don't have to die at the end Janis: what about you? Jimmy: Did you forget? 👻 Jimmy: already am Janis: how could I Janis: is your manager actually in today? what if we contact that Pete kid see if he'll cover for you Janis: you should get some proper sleep, in an actual bed Janis: I can persuade him Jimmy: OMG you wanna use me to slide into his DMs Janis: boy, focus Janis: not really the sexiest approach, please do some overtime for my boyfriend Jimmy: 👀 on your 😍 girl Janis: 🙄😏 Janis: you gonna answer any of that or Jimmy: I don't know if my manager is supposed to be in Jimmy: probably won't be either way though Jimmy: Oh the money, power and the glory Janis: you can but dream, yeah Janis: well it's up to you then Janis: but it'd probably be worse if you were in and in this state so what he don't know Janis: can't get you sacked Jimmy: I don't have any other place to go though, do I Janis: won't he be at work by now himself? Janis: can come back to mine if not, no funny business Jimmy: he's not the one I care about Janis: your brother and sister? Jimmy: I'm not gonna wake her up to let me in Jimmy: or let him see me like Janis: right, okay Janis: we'll sort you out first Jimmy: Didn't reckon all that fake nursing training you had would really come in handy, eh? Jimmy: can't help being goals Janis: bit of an extreme length to go to for some TLC but I'll allow it Janis: I'm on my way now so just hold on, yeah Jimmy: I mean, it's fairly standard for me but alright Janis: how you pull all the birds is it Jimmy: Babe, I'm just SUCH a lad, yeah? Jimmy: get drunk, have a scrap, nick my dad's scotch and get MORE drunk Jimmy: all in a day's work Janis: gotta be done Janis: I get it Jimmy: 💕 Janis: fit right in on this bus Jimmy: don't get 💀💀💀 after we've changed the story in favour of your survival Jimmy: bit rude Janis: try my best Janis: don't victim blame me Janis: please and thanks Jimmy: don't sound like me Jimmy: blaming you for nowt Jimmy: 😂 bit soon? Janis: hmm, don't get cheeky, like Janis: just 'cos you're a patient today Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: just a bit then Janis: trying to be nice Jimmy: me an' all Jimmy: I promise Jimmy: I won't be cheeky enough that you kick me out of bed Janis: you're always nice, babe Janis: little ray of sunshine Jimmy: anyone can be nice Jimmy: you're Jimmy: 🌩🌪 Janis: I'll take it Jimmy: You know when you're a kid and you count Jimmy: that's what it's like waiting to see you Janis: you're gonna make me Janis: forget to be professional Jimmy: not on the clock til you get here, it's alright Janis: I'm mostly worried about when I do get there, like Janis: not that I'm about to give the bus a show Jimmy: don't worry I'll take care of you too Jimmy: we're a team Janis: yeah, we are Jimmy: 👍 Janis: you're alright, you know Janis: you know I think you're alright Jimmy: I will be when you show up Janis: such a smoothtalker, honestly Jimmy: I know you didn't think all that were fake Jimmy: come on Janis: there's only so far you can get with no inspiration, yeah Jimmy: good thing you're 🎨 or we'd have been exposed as frauds ages ago Janis: we're a pretty good team, all things considered Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: yep Janis: shame you can't put relationships on CVs Jimmy: I can't pay you owt either 💔 Janis: don't need it Janis: or want it, like Jimmy: but decent headshots could get you a modelling job 📷 not 🎯 Jimmy: I could do that Janis: then we could both go Janis: no 💀 Jimmy: might work Janis: start of a plan Janis: we have such a good track record, like Jimmy: 💀👑 would 💀🤯 Jimmy: ⚰🎊🍾 Janis: just when she thought she couldn't be any more jealous Jimmy: I can give motivational speeches as my 2nd job too cause I felt it with every emoji Janis: very empowering, babe 💕 Jimmy: onto something Janis: reckon so Janis: just don't bang EVERY model you shoot Janis: get well shaming Jimmy: They'd have to all be as fit as you Janis: practically in the job description Janis: unless they're the 'unique' kind Jimmy: there's loads in mine I don't do Janis: 😱 employee of the month Janis: shh Jimmy: you'd vote for Pete anyway Janis: don't think they follow democratic process Janis: and how dare you, Jamie is the backbone of that place Jimmy: still Jimmy: you would Janis: nah Janis: you deffo would though Jimmy: I'd vote for myself Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt Janis: #selflove Janis: can respect it, boy Jimmy: 💕 Janis: 1. how much scotch did you drink Janis: 2. did you text your ex anything you should delete before you sober up Jimmy: if you're asking if there's any left for you 💔 I fucked up Jimmy: as for Hayley, she's been told to fuck off by half the north, she'll live Janis: could be worse then Janis: not for me, obvs Janis: but same Jimmy: I don't wanna get back with her, you know that, right? Janis: not my business either way Jimmy: Alright but do you have to say it like that? Janis: how do you want me to say it Jimmy: if its how you feel then Janis: look Janis: I'm glad I don't have to share your attention right now Janis: 'course I am but I don't need to sound possessive about it Jimmy: 👌 Janis: is it Jimmy: Before, you said Jimmy: maybe I can't remember it right though Janis: no go on Janis: it's cool Jimmy: I dunno, I just Jimmy: reckoned you needed to hear that Janis: I did think maybe Janis: just some things you'd said too but it's Janis: you know Jimmy: you go on Janis: well like I said, not my business if you were Janis: but yeah, I thought you were Janis: I'd get it Jimmy: I wouldn't get it Jimmy: I trusted her and she Jimmy: It don't even matter anymore Jimmy: I made a mistake doing that and she made hers Janis: it's okay, you don't owe me an explanation Janis: I don't know her or your situation Janis: I just thought, from my limited perspective, you hate it here, it'd be a link to home, even if it was a bad one, like Jimmy: I hated it there an' all Jimmy: just 'cause I didn't ask and weren't asked to come here don't mean I wanna go back Janis: oh Janis: well that I get Jimmy: you had it right when you called me a miserable prick or whatever it were Janis: bit harsh though Janis: shit's shit Janis: you'd be an idiot if you didn't see it Jimmy: 🌧☔ me Jimmy: I'm alright with it by now Janis: yeah? Janis: that's something then Jimmy: everything's shit everywhere Jimmy: nowt gonna change next place he drags us Janis: wherever you go, there you are Jimmy: might get a new mum, might not Jimmy: might hear from my actual, might not Janis: she don't even call Jimmy: and say what? Janis: fucked Jimmy: they both were Jimmy: are Jimmy: and so are us kids Jimmy: ⚪ Janis: yep Janis: get out early as you can Janis: and don't have kids yourself Janis: only poem I've read that's any use Jimmy: 💔 that age 6 is probably pushing it a bit Janis: give it a few more years of shit and you can get away with it Jimmy: I'll start him on the poem anyway Janis: Larkin's dead easy Janis: debatable how appropriate but I'd go for very so Jimmy: 👍 Janis: so we're going back to mine first Janis: or what Jimmy: You made this plan Janis: you gonna comply Jimmy: Depends Janis: that's what I was 🙀 of Janis: go on Jimmy: my 🙀💕 Janis: 😏 Jimmy: What's your house like? Janis: old farmhouse in the middle of nowhere Janis: perfect place for the local nutters to reside Jimmy: well now I'M 🙀🙀🙀 Janis: you should be Janis: nah, you'll be able to get a decent kip, they're all doing their own shit and giving me disapproving looks if they know what's good for 'em Jimmy: Alright, protect me then Janis: always, babe Jimmy: I'm being dead serious Janis: 1. what makes you think I ain't Janis: 2. why Jimmy: just Janis: we can sneak in Janis: well, we can try but I don't know how well you'll do, pisshead Jimmy: Shut up 🏆💪 Janis: happy to be proved wrong Janis: it'll all be good though, promise Jimmy: stay close to me and you can every step Janis: I won't leave you on your own Jimmy: because you wanna stay or because you reckon I'll 🤢 and choke to 💀💀💀 Janis: you've made it this far without me, I'm not that bigheaded Janis: believe that or not Janis: I wanna stay Jimmy: even if I wanna die I wouldn't give Mia owt close to any satisfaction so that ain't the way for me to go Janis: hot Janis: keeping it petty, even in 💀💀💀 Jimmy: remind me to send it as a tweet tomorrow or something Janis: 'course Janis: that relatable suicidal/horny vibe, they get it Jimmy: #ultimategoals Janis: I think so Jimmy: I think no # would ever do you justice Jimmy: a voice memo is pushing it even with this top accent Janis: that laugh one you sent me was cute Jimmy: you do make me 😂 girl Janis: I know Janis: got the evidence for all time now 💕 Jimmy: keep it Jimmy: I'll be back as a 👻 fucking up all your electronics baby Janis: dunno what you got against 🍆s Jimmy: if they're not in you then nowt Janis: 😂 Janis: new levels of jealousy that Jimmy: is it? Janis: new to me Jimmy: Soz then Janis: don't Janis: don't need to be, like Jimmy: but if it's weird Jimmy: or too like Janis: it ain't Janis: its Janis: it ain't Janis: I wanna hear it all Janis: don't hold back okay Jimmy: You wanna hear what bits you do then you want me to shut up is what you mean Janis: would've said it if that's what I meant Janis: just 'cos I don't know what to say don't mean you can't say it if you wanna Jimmy: it's what everyone means, nowt personal Janis: you're just so chatty, like Jimmy: You just bring it out in me Janis: 'course Jimmy: so inspiring Jimmy: have to write you a poem now I know you're such a fan Janis: 😂 Janis: go on, he was always drunk Janis: will be a masterpiece Jimmy: Alright, shut up and let us crack on Janis: such a 🎨 temperament Janis: 🤐 alright Jimmy: [a selfie of his adorably drunk concentration face like 🤔 with a pen in his mouth and everything] Janis: you're cute Jimmy: shhh Jimmy: OMG Janis: your fault Jimmy: Girl if you don't 🤐🤐🤐 Janis: or what, boy Jimmy: You'll show up and I'll show you Janis: mhmm 😏 Janis: reckon you've got like 5-10 so write fast Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: nearly done Janis: dread to think Jimmy: Oi🥇 muse and top content Jimmy: so rude Janis: just a sext that rhymes, yeah? Jimmy: You ain't having it now Jimmy: gonna 🔥 it dramatically in this bin Janis: let's not play with fire tah Janis: and don't be mean Jimmy: you Janis: I'm joking Janis: I'm sure it's 🔥 Jimmy: [a poem that I don't have the talent to actually write soz lads] Janis: it actually is Janis: how did you do that Jimmy: I told you got a 🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆 muse in you Jimmy: keep up with what I'm saying, Janet Janis: but really Jimmy: What? Janis: you're good, that's all Jimmy: Baby Janis: I mean it, like Janis: no bullshit Janis: english teacher must love you Jimmy: she don't Jimmy: too much 🎨 in my margins Janis: can't be tamed Janis: maverick Jimmy: rebel with just that one cause still Janis: 'course baby Jimmy: if you ain't wearing your pjs why would you even be here, like Janis: you can see 'em when we get back Janis: sure you've missed them Jimmy: gonna make me 😭😭 Janis: emotional drunk Janis: it's alright, won't tell Jimmy: emotional support PJs Janis: 😂 don't get to be a funny one and all Jimmy: can do it all me Janis: 😍 Janis: just need to sleep, alright Jimmy: you wanna 🥊 or 💋? Jimmy: working through the list Janis: you know we can't do either yeah Janis: not drunk as you now Janis: nothing if not fair, me Jimmy: can fix that for you Jimmy: unless your parents are teetotal or something Jimmy: even then can't live that in the middle of nowt, can you Janis: lol you have no idea Janis: wait and see Janis: and we're fixing you, not feeding my addiction Jimmy: 💔💔 Janis: I know, how d'ya think I feel Janis: things I do for you Jimmy: I'll owe you though, you love that Janis: that's you but good to even the score Janis: can't lie Jimmy: There you go then Janis: 💕 Jimmy: 🤢🤢🤢 Janis: is that a subtle way to say I need to hurry or Jimmy: working through a list, I said Jimmy: gotta use the bin for something since you said no fires Janis: so demanding Janis: almost like I don't want you getting more burns Jimmy: that Freddy Krueger #aesthetic though 😍 Jimmy: love a stripy jumper me Jimmy: very slimming 💀👑 will double tap my OOTD faster than you can say no cheese Janis: you are technically a nonce so Janis: the fedora fits Jimmy: 😂 Janis: where are you then Jimmy: where am I Jimmy: good question that Janis: full of 'em, me Janis: gimme a clue Jimmy: 🍀 Janis: oh good, you ain't fled the country Janis: wouldn't be very good for my rep, that Jimmy: Looking for a bus has gotta be easier than looking for the one lad Jimmy: hang on Janis: how blurry are your 👀 Jimmy: I'll take my 😎 off, babe Jimmy: for you Janis: scandalous Janis: behave you Jimmy: #nudes Jimmy: 👀 Janis: dunno if I'll recognize you even Jimmy: 😱😱😱💔🎻🎻 Jimmy: supposed to know me anywhere you Jimmy: the films have fucking lied Janis: shit fake gf me Janis: always said it Jimmy: If you want a tea you'll have to wait til we get back Jimmy: or fake it of course Janis: wanna have a tea party Jimmy: Depends Janis: guest list? Jimmy: So who else is invited? Janis: only the best 🧸s in town Jimmy: Forget that twat 🧸 your sister hangs out with then Janis: 😂 Janis: deffo Jimmy: I dont want owt to do with him Jimmy: no trust there, like Janis: unless he makes his own way Janis: ain't risking that bear cave to bring him Jimmy: if he is owt like her Jimmy: 🥇 at turning up where she ain't wanted Janis: telling me Janis: 🤞 he's like his father Jimmy: yeah, your birth being one Jimmy: well awkward Janis: so rude, honestly Janis: fuming in that womb I was Jimmy: Well done on taking the spotlight every day since, mate Janis: 🤷 Janis: someone's gotta Janis: she'd melt Jimmy: the kind of commitment I need Jimmy: and you need on your CV Janis: always banking them transferrable skills Jimmy: might be the hottest thing you've ever said Jimmy: dunno but it's up there Janis: you're a lucky boy Janis: everyone knows Jimmy: fake 💍 ASAP then Janis: have to find me first Jimmy: Stop distracting me Jimmy: or be distracting IRL Janis: [find this boy lmao] Jimmy: [just like oh hey cos how far away can he really be] Janis: [exactly, when you've gotta wait for a bus straight back, go to a different cafe and get some breakfast kids] Jimmy: [state of him he needs it lbr] Janis: [just steering him like] Jimmy: [nice parallel to when he had to when she hurt herself on that trip lol] Janis: [just silently fuming at Ian's handiwork blatantly, actually getting a pot of tea too 'cos why not] Jimmy: [tea improves any situation okay bye] Janis: [trufacts] Jimmy: [are they sitting next to each other or opposite? Real questions] Janis: [hmm, probably opposite on a lil 2 seater moment] Jimmy: [eye contact ftw] Janis: [plenty of time for snuggling later, oh the casual tension you're having to put aside rn girl, it fine lmao] Jimmy: [so soz Janis but actually no Im not haha] Janis: ['better?'] Jimmy: ['if things between us are' you know hes drunk when he answers a question] Janis: [nods but looks away like so casual 'course'] Jimmy: [when you're just trying to do something to make her look at you again but you end up just gently holding her face and looking into her eyes for 9 years] Janis: [bit deer in the headlights but allowing it still] Jimmy: [nods genuinely like okay I believe you as if she hasnt just come all this way to find you and take care of you bitch] Janis: [licks his hand like get off but also kisses it 'dope'] Jimmy: ['stop giving me such weird compliments'] Janis: ['stop taking insults as compliments, slag' 😏] Jimmy: [throws a sugar packet at her like how sweet] Janis: [puts it in his tea like energy] Jimmy: ['Oi, sweet enough me' but puts another one in anyway] Janis: 🍬🍨🍧🍭🍰 Janis: you Jimmy: Tah Janis: any time Jimmy: 🤞 won't be any time soon Janis: ['try your best' shrugs 'like you said, ain't your fault though'] Jimmy: My fault he ain't 💀💀💀 Janis: I'll come through with the ☢️⚠️☣️ Jimmy: only so many times I can say tah before it's weird, you know Janis: won't tell if you forget your manners Jimmy: 😏 you'd like it is why Janis: shh Janis: return the favour Jimmy: not gonna say owt to anyone Jimmy: mute, remember Janis: can be as loud as you wanna, remember Jimmy: that middle of nowhere, is it? Jimmy: 👌 Janis: told you Janis: no one can hear you 😱 Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: very shy me Janis: yeah, noticed Janis: 😏 Jimmy: [playfully nudges her but nearly knocks the precious tea everywhere cos drunkard] Janis: ['careful!'] Janis: I ain't got an apron and you can't be out yours yet Jimmy: [throws a napkin at her like sorted] Janis: [😑] Jimmy: sure you don't wanna 🥊, babe? Janis: stop being tempting Jimmy: never 💕 Janis: what am I gonna do with you, like Jimmy: What do you wanna do with me? Janis: [a LOOK 😳] Jimmy: [obviously giving her one back but shamelessly] Janis: [putting your finger to his mouth like he speaking] Jimmy: [you know they gotta go in his mouth in a saucy manner now girl he got no chill and cant be stopped] Janis: we're in public Jimmy: You're my girlfriend in public Janis: you see anyone else doing Janis: that Jimmy: if they were going out with you, I would see it, yeah Janis: you're wasted Jimmy: and what? Janis: don't write cheques you can't cash Jimmy: it's won't not can't Jimmy: and that's only 'cause you said Janis: yeah okay Janis: but that's the right thing to do Janis: even if I don't wanna Jimmy: If it feels right to you then Janis: you know it is Janis: or you'll know later Jimmy: Later I'll be 😴💤 I won't know nowt Janis: that's the plan Janis: come find me after that, yeah? Jimmy: Where are you going? Janis: nowhere Jimmy: might actually be able to find you then Janis: 🤞 Janis: believe in ya Janis: ['finish up' 'cos bus has to come eventually] Jimmy: [when you just give her a look like do you though? before necking that tea honey] Janis: [gathering their shit and holding the door open for him like come on boy] Jimmy: ['so romantic you' as he goes through the door like] Janis: [does a bow] Jimmy: [lols] Janis: [😍] Jimmy: [takes her hand because if you cant handhold when you need to be kept upright when can you] Janis: ['least you'll definitely get a seat' 'cos can't be wobbling about the bus lmao] Jimmy: ['A northern 45 is a 95 anywhere else, only gotta spread the word a bit'] Janis: ['you're doing a great job with the psa, mate'] Jimmy: [IRL 👍] Janis: [sitting him down and she should have to stand busy bus vibe] Jimmy: [trying to move up as if she can share this seat with you like that unthinkingly but she not #smol] Janis: tah Jimmy: [shrugs] Janis: considerate forever Jimmy: [gesturing that she can sit on you because not like she hasnt before and its all so casual lol lol lol] Janis: [a look like are you sure? also excuse them the like old lady he's probably next to heheheh] Jimmy: [a look like do you wanna stand for 13 years I dont think so] Janis: [shrugs and hops on] Jimmy: [wrapping his arms around her like a seatbelt even though shes not gonna fall off and we know you just are doing a little hug moment boy] Janis: [so soft] Jimmy: [god bless] Janis: [a moment even if you're dying slightly] Jimmy: [just really leaning his head on her so casually here too nbd] Janis: [stroking his hair and sneaky checking the bruises and stuff] Jimmy: [he started it but its too soft and hes dying like] Janis: at least you look cool Janis: [is sad face tho] Jimmy: [makes her sad face a smiley face by smushing it] Janis: [lols 'excuse me'] Jimmy: helping you look if not 😎 then 😊 Janis: you're sweet Jimmy: you not gonna do the emojis this time? Jimmy: 💔 Janis: baby Jimmy: [😍 in this close a proximity, not a good idea boy, but here we are] Janis: you're just very Janis: distracting Janis: [so much eye contact] Jimmy: [when you say 'you' out loud so you don't have to break it by looking down at your phone to type] Janis: [annnnnd hold, just internally debating if you can kiss him or not morally] Jimmy: [we all know he would be leaning in to kiss her and then would so] Janis: [go with it girl, it's okay] Jimmy: [don't mind them bus peeps they just gotta have a moment] Janis: [lmao the tutting they don't even notice rn] Jimmy: [deal with it slags they are in love] Janis: [the level of restraint you need to keep it just at a makeout moment tbh, the old lady should need to get off like ahem lol] Jimmy: [honestly its been SUCH a night and they are gonna be on this bus for ages yet gdi, off you go 👵] Janis: [least they've got two seats now, spread out] Jimmy: [but never that much you clingy bitches #same] Janis: [lbr would've taken you longer than necessary to get off his lap] Jimmy: [a mood] Janis: [😍] Jimmy: [has to kiss her again obvs because they stop when they want not when a 👵 says so] Janis: [which is lowkey never but it's fine, long bus journey] Jimmy: [at least you can take advantage of having slightly more space to basically swap over so he's all but on top of her now instead, the tuts would be LOUD haha] Janis: [just being like 'don't get too comfy' 😏 between kisses] Jimmy: [giving a LOOK because unrepentant af about any of this soz passengers] Janis: [when you have to be the one with some control lmao good luck] Jimmy: [at least theres plenty of other people on this bus to tell you to get some LOL] Janis: 💀💀💀 Jimmy: 👀🔪🔪🔪 Janis: 👴👵🚨👮⛓ Jimmy: 👵💔👴 Jimmy: so jealous them Jimmy: 👮🚔 will be an all Janis: yeah you're pretty cute Jimmy: you Janis: you wanna 🥊 so bad Jimmy: not what I most want but alright Janis: really Janis: maybe you should be clearer Jimmy: [more kisses that are more extra, look away people] Janis: I get it Jimmy: You sure? Janis: ['You know you wanna' and a LOOK] Jimmy: [forever returning those looks bitch and you can have some lovebites too girl cos its been a minute for you] Janis: [into it] Jimmy: [likewise] Janis: [just taking photos of said bruises like it's a force of habit but you just wanna] Jimmy: [thats fine because gives him an excuse to take 📷 of her too which he always just wants to] Janis: you gonna be my personal photographer Janis: when I'm mega famous Jimmy: Do you still want me to follow you about then? Janis: Do you? Janis: [are you him like] Jimmy: Where are you going? Janis: Paris, Milan, Tokyo Janis: list is endless Jimmy: Alright Janis: alright Janis: sorted Jimmy: til I get lost Jimmy: at least you know how to take a decent selfie, babe Janis: have to put a tracker on you Janis: not a crazy gf, for his safety purely Jimmy: [lols] Janis: [😍] Jimmy: [just looking into those 😍 with your own] Janis: [😳] Jimmy: [kissing her on each cheek really soft like hes practising for europe but we know its for the 😳] Janis: ['stop' but soft] Jimmy: [does but doesnt move far enough away so still up in her grill like] Janis: [just pushing his head down, gently lol, like go to sleep] Jimmy: [pouty face] Janis: [squishing his face for revenge] Jimmy: [like oi because standard but snuggling into her] Janis: ['promise I'll wake you up'] Jimmy: ['no challenge too hard going for you, I get it' sleepy voiced] Janis: ['flexes the arm he ain't on] Jimmy: [a genuine smile] Janis: [have a snooze boy we'll skipperoo] Jimmy: [take some deep breaths Janis theres so much more to come babe] Janis: [roll up on the cali gaff lads] Jimmy: [that wont be awks at all now that its whatever o clock in the morning] Janis: [when one of them probably stayed home to watch her so she already snuck out to get him, on the shit list big time rn] Jimmy: [I hope whichever parent it is aint doing yoga on the lawn rn] Janis: [lmao now is not the time lads, not sneaking though 'cos fuck you fam is the mood evidently] Jimmy: [it really isnt because it should probably be Ali to show how seriously they are taking the driving escapade so him thinking her mum is fit is really not the mood] Jimmy: [also take a moment to really appreciate HOW MANY cats he would think he was half asleep still cos wtf] Janis: [i vibe] Janis: [when you're so embarrassed by your fam/house/everything tbh like get in my room quick thanks] Jimmy: [at least he wont really fully register it cos actually is sleepy so she can just hustle him through speedily] Janis: [just moving her shit out the way so he can get in] Jimmy: [I cant even think what her room would look like either dont start me] Jimmy: [so much like her nan bye] Janis: [like it was once nice 'cos can afford nice shit but is now wrecked/she's never in there now so any posters would be dated as hell] Jimmy: [I feel like hes gotta notice that even though hes not gonna say anything] Jimmy: [file that away in your head boy] Janis: [for another time, also have a nice tuck-in moment for the throwback] Jimmy: [yaaas! what size is her bed?] Janis: [defs a double 'cos she doesn't have loads of other shit she needs so she can] Jimmy: [good thinking you aint gonna have a homework desk are you babe] Janis: [and the attic is already more sizeable anyway soz lads, like they all could, but for example we said grace don't 'cos she wants her youtube background moment so then there is no room] Jimmy: [and Grace never brings lads home cos she would rather die so priorities] Janis: [surprised she brings her friends tbh, Mia like we coming bitch] Jimmy: [she wouldnt want them there but yeah Mia inviting herself from day 1] Janis: [getting all the tea the snek] Jimmy: [I hate her so much because we all know bitches like that] Janis: [mhmm] Jimmy: [anything I need to know about that Janis is gonna do while hes just sleeping and snuggling?] Janis: [she'd probably do some homework 'cos promised she wouldn't leave obvs, work out 'cos all the tension today but that's only next room and also snuggle] Jimmy: [I was gonna say, use that gym honey its been a DAY for you both] Janis: [mhmm honey] Jimmy: [we need another skip cos we gotta let this poor boy sleep for a while] Janis: [let her have a sleep too 'cos also hasn't so he can wake up first] Jimmy: [casually like where the fuck am I in that hot sec before he realises shes still right there bitch 😍 at her for a bit boy she wont know] Jimmy: [but actually like snuggling into her more cos you know you should check your phone to see if your siblings are alive but you dont wanna but thanks to Ian it would hurt trying to bury your head cos you arent drunk anymore so youre like ow and thatd probably wake her up so] Janis: [enjoy boy, waking up like 'hey'] Jimmy: [saying it back in the quietest voice ever] Janis: ['you need water?' and going to get up] Jimmy: [when youre like I need painkillers for all these injuries but you arent gonna say that because gotta be hard and northern so say nothing] Janis: [looking back like ?] Jimmy: [a very helpful shrug, oh boy have some water and dont be a knob] Janis: [goes for that water] Jimmy: [does check his phone to make sure Cass and Bobby are alright] Janis: [should've washed his uniform for him so he can look like he's been a presentable boy at work all day, so bringing that back in too] Jimmy: [thats so domestic I nearly screamed then] Janis: [when you so caring on the low and no one knows rn] Jimmy: [he would be DYING because he dont have a mum to care about him and clearly Ian isnt] Janis: [trufacts] Jimmy: [fully conceal dont feel boy so she doesnt know how much that got to you] Janis: [just sitting back down on the bed, looking at him like 🤔 'well, you look less pissed at least'] Jimmy: [he was drinking his water and keeping it casual so gotta do a little choke laugh into it like] Janis: ['if you die when I've gone to all this trouble, I swear' 😏] Jimmy: ['less witnesses here than on the bus, be alright' 😏 oh the double meaning excuse you slag] Janis: ['that's alright then' so flirty] Jimmy: [forever giving LOOKS, oh you two] Janis: [all the looks all the time, also the PJs are on as promised so] Jimmy: [give them a nod now youre properly awake boy] Janis: [little lol] Jimmy: [takes her hand and puts it on his pulse so she can see that hes still alive cos obvs trying to kill him with how cute she looks and is] Janis: [just moving your hands up and down 'cos you wanna but then getting to his face and pausing like 'what you gonna tell the kid, if he asks?'] Jimmy: [looks down at some old burn scar or other and back at her like theres your answer cos can easily say he did it at work by falling over something or whatever] Janis: [nods 'then you're good to go-' adding '-whenever' 'cos blatantly does not want it to be yet tah] Jimmy: ['Is the plan to starve me out or-' obviously stalling because he doesnt wanna go either ha 'Mia'll be well proud' but also when was the last time they ate either of them lbr] Janis: ['could just say you're hungry, dickhead' gentle push back down, like 'what you want?'] Jimmy: ['it'd end the live tweets too quick that' gets comfy and doesnt answer what he wants of course v helpful] Janis: [when you get on top of him like you're about to playfight or be saucy, which is it??? neither, getting up like 'get what you're given then, boy' 😏] Jimmy: 💔 Janis: sure you don't wanna live-tweet it? Jimmy: You want that to be your rep then? Janis: worse things than a heartbreaker, I guess Janis: jussayin, you had your chance to chat to me 🤐 Jimmy: Oi, not if it's my heart under the 🔨 Jimmy: so rude you Janis: so your 🖤 is delicate but your lungs and kidney can take it? Janis: noted Jimmy: swing a 🔨 delicately, do you? Noted Janis: forgot liver, but thought that might be a sensitive topic still Janis: very fucking considerate, I'll have you know Jimmy: might be for you, pisshead Jimmy: I'm alright Janis: now Janis: thanks to my excellent nursing Jimmy: Then an' all Jimmy: but I know how into giving it a go you were, not the only considerate one you Janis: even if we're back to faking it, you were never that good Janis: your 😵🥴 and bambi walk gave you away Jimmy: might be concussion that, you didn't ask, some nurse you Janis: didn't need to, you told me about the scotch of your own freewill Janis: so rude to question my competence Janis: risky, when I'm making you food as well Jimmy: scotch which came after, could've already had the serious head injury Janis: 🙄 considering you've survived your all-day nap Janis: gonna say I was right and you're taking the piss Jimmy: no 🏆 coming your way for a fluke, mate Janis: don't ask for much do ya Janis: don't fancy being your real gf, high maintenance motherfucker Jimmy: Nowt off you, I hate to be disappointed me Jimmy: enough 🎻 playing as is Janis: come up here and help yourself then, twat Jimmy: You're alright Jimmy: 💀👑 is probably hiding in your fridge Janis: sniffing calories Janis: yeah well you can go in the freezer if you don't start behaving Jimmy: beats a cold 🚿 if you're gonna keep being so 😍😍🤤🤤 Janis: not if you're concussed Janis: can't risk injuring you further 'til you're all better, can I Jimmy: I have been before, I ain't now Jimmy: You'll have to think of another way to lose your fake nursing qualification Janis: 'cos that's what I wanna do Jimmy: be out of your hands if you ain't 🥇 Janis: and lemme guess, you'll be 🥇 and in charge, yeah? Jimmy: Let me guess, you want Pete to have final say, yeah? Janis: I mean, don't even put the idea in my head if you want this food any time soon Janis: 😍😍🤤🤤 can't share that cold 🚿 Jimmy: fuck it, go on into his DMs its been a bit and I can wait one Janis: BUT WHAT DO I SAY?!?! 😱 Jimmy: pic gonna be worth loads more than words, girl Jimmy: he's an artist Janis: 👂 not 👀 but I get your point Janis: and a voice message would be well forward Jimmy: and you're 🙀🥇🙀 obvs Janis: piss off Janis: not sending nudes to every fit boy I see ain't 🙀 it's sane Jimmy: 👌 Janis: you do it then Jimmy: he don't want mine Janis: 💔 Jimmy: and you turning out to be my beard isn't very believable Janis: why not Jimmy: would've picked a different lass if that's what I was after Jimmy: more girly or something Janis: 🖕 Janis: ignoring you now Jimmy: Why 'cause I'm not gay? Bit rude Janis: no because you're rude Jimmy: for not sending unwanted nudes to my straight male coworker? Nah mate you've got that wrong Janis: 😑 Janis: to me Jimmy: What for? Janis: what do you mean what for Jimmy: What do you mean I'm being rude to you? Janis: where to begin Janis: it comes that natural, you don't even notice, eh Jimmy: You notice owt that ain't happening Janis: don't be a gaslighter, that ain't #goals Jimmy: don't be throwing words about that you could save for a # Janis: liked you better when you were asleep Jimmy: I liked you better when I were too Janis: your sense of directions for shit but you can work on where the door is if that's the case Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: are you taking this food or what Jimmy: is it done or what? Janis: you're in such a rush Janis: would you even be done with your shift yet Jimmy: You told me to be in one Janis: I never Jimmy: you said fuck off out so I'm going Janis: I said stop being a dick Jimmy: you said leave Janis: well if you don't like me why would I do things for you and why would you want me to Jimmy: I never said Janis: yeah well you did Jimmy: that were you Janis: you said it back Janis: I was joking Jimmy: because in dreams owt can happen, why wouldn't that be better? Janis: now you're gonna be slick, huh Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: whatever, keats Janis: just stay and eat Janis: in the oven now, don't need go waste Jimmy: only gonna take poison off your 💋 Jules so don't get any other ideas with the 🍽 Janis: promise Jimmy: I'll take your word, no need to 🔪 yourself to get it written out anywhere else Janis: yeah if they reckon last night was a suey attempt they probably will take the knives so I'll be 😇 Jimmy: til I take you somewhere else, any road Jimmy: soon have you back at 😈🥇 Janis: not sure I can take your word on that score yet Janis: but we'll see Jimmy: Why not? Janis: still impatiently waiting for you to take me, ain't I Jimmy: if you're so impatient let's go Janis: gotta eat Jimmy: not me 👻 Janis: take my duties very serious, even if you doubt my ability Jimmy: so serious you Jimmy: that'll be why you were all jokes a bit ago Janis: keep your on your toes Janis: check for any concussion Jimmy: I'll work out with you, stop begging Janis: never keep up, baby Jimmy: That hurts, babe Jimmy: Ian's got nowt on you Janis: give him pointers on the verbal smackdown if I see him Janis: 😒 Jimmy: 🤞 you won't but tah Jimmy: getting really boring having the same row every time, like Janis: yeah, figured I was fucked for an invite back Janis: give him some new material, whilst I'm at it Jimmy: I meant 'cause he makes himself scarce for a bit after Jimmy: not showing you the door Janis: Ah Janis: almost like remorse, but not quite, sir Jimmy: Don't wanna look at me til I'm healed Jimmy: he'll have that in common with my instagram feed I'm sure Jimmy: 💔 Janis: Prick Jimmy: You ready for your close up then? Jimmy: be your time to shine, this Janis: so kind of you to share your spotlight Janis: 😏 Jimmy: well you know, if the queen of the undead asks I got every bruise decking some dickhead for you or whatever so I won't need it Jimmy: hero worshipped as standard Janis: she ain't very good down on her knees, so the rumor mill says so might wanna reconsider getting 'em 🙏 Jimmy: Teeth falling out during would put anyone off tbf Jimmy: 🤞 she at least swallows them Jimmy: Tooth fairy won't come but the lad might still Jimmy: 💕 Janis: put out a poll in the groupchat Janis: important info Jimmy: Where's Grace's room, if I don't get lost I'll ask her Janis: piss off Jimmy: Come on, tell me Janis: shut up, no Jimmy: spoilsport Janis: you're disgusting Jimmy: What? Janis: you know what Jimmy: No Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: go on Janis: I don't need to, pretty obvious Janis: ask your sister the same shall I Jimmy: She don't have a #squad for you to get the goss on, soz babes Janis: well I'm not gonna, freak Janis: neither are you Jimmy: What's the fucking matter with you? Janis: what are you on about Jimmy: You heard Janis: and you heard, shut up chatting about my sister Janis: don't see how you don't see that that's weird Jimmy: I weren't chatting about her, just her besties Jimmy: So what's your problem with that? Janis: just quit whilst I've got hot food coming at you or it'll end up in your lap Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: [coming through with some kind of safe food she's just shoved in for them] Jimmy: [takes it so he can eat it and shhh] Janis: [omnom] Jimmy: [awkward moody silent eating lol] Janis: [fun times forever] Jimmy: [just finishing speedily and getting ready to go as if I'm gonna let that happen haha] Janis: [looking up as if she's shooketh 'alright?'] Jimmy: [a nod that's clearly incorrect] Janis: [a funny face like obvs not 'come on'] Jimmy: [a look thats like dont tell me to come on] Janis: [😱😬😋 in that order] Jimmy: [leaving but not really cos I still ain't gonna let him get that far obvs] Janis: excuse you Jimmy: can do, if you want Janis: the least you can do is say bye Jimmy: Alright then Jimmy: bye Janis: fuck you, come back here and say it to my face Jimmy: [does come storming back in but doesnt say it, because just looking at her intensely instead] Janis: [😡 face 'say.it.'] Jimmy: ['you' doesnt need to be as up in her grill as he is, but what's new 'why are you being such a massive dickhead?'] Janis: ['me?' outrage lmao 'you. what is your problem right now?'] Jimmy: ['What's yours? I fucking asked you ages ago'] Janis: ['Nothing, you've been an asshole ever since you woke up'] Jimmy: ['No, I've not, you've been having a go at me since your sister got mentioned'] Janis: ['and I told you, it weren't funny'] Jimmy: [annoyed shrug like whatever then] Janis: ['goodbye then' and flinging yourself dramatically on the bed] Jimmy: [does not move] Janis: [is on phone not looking his way so] Janis: what Jimmy: [taking her phone off her #problematic] Janis: [death stare 'WHAT'] Jimmy: [when you can't handle her shouting at you because soft boy 5ever so you're in a shut down like you didnt start this, oh boy so problematic] Janis: ['what' at a normal level like genuine confusion] Jimmy: ['everything's shit' but quietly like the grandma I am would be like ?? 'since I woke up, before then, just....'] Janis: [sighs, rubbing her temples and sitting back down from getting up to shout 'yeah' also quiet 'it is'] Jimmy: [sits next to her but not close to her, a throwback to that bench on the school trip because I'm that slut] Janis: ['I get it, alright' throwing a glance back but not maintaining any eye contact rn 'sorry'] Jimmy: [lying on your back to stare at her ceiling dramatically because you wanna cry and its another throwback while Im on a roll 'I'm a dickhead and I'm sorry'] Janis: ['yeah but so am I, for one; and two, don't make it alright that everything's SO shit, you know' shrugs, shuffles back but doesn't commit to laying down next to him, taking his hand] Jimmy: ['You're not though, you're-' I can't even begin to go there rn boy, sits up but without letting go of her hand and is just looking down at it like 'and you have made it alright, a bit' because she is so nice and he cant even deal Janis: ['a bit' 🤏 smiles a lil and nudges him like, you ain't either though, shrugs 'just what any fucker would do, and they probably wouldn't be a cunt minute you wake up so-'] Jimmy: [raises their linked hands like I can't do the lot stretched out hand thing without letting go, soz because of course he isnt gonna do that. Lowkey crying silently #same because you dont know how to express how nice she is or how much you arent used to/cant handle it] Janis: [when their hands are going back down, tapping his head 'you nerd' then taking his other hand and finally hugging so he can cry in private 'I swear, I wanna make it alright all the time, I wanna be your mate but you don't get it, I ain't a good one, all I'll bring is more hassle, like'] Jimmy: [just the longest hug ever because all the reasons 'you're the best I've had, I get that it sounds fake but it's not'] Janis: [just squeezing him tighter 'cos what to say like same bitch] Jimmy: [such a MOMENT 'you wanna get out of here with me now then?'] Janis: ['yeah' no hesitation 'but you're gonna have to leave and I'm gonna have to sneak out after'] Jimmy: need a 🚬 anyway Jimmy: find me after Janis: okay Jimmy: [leaves but looks back of course cos ILY bitch] Janis: [chasing him down and giving him the most intense kiss of all time, pablo where you at to interrupt] Jimmy: [OMG Mia where you at tho] Janis: [if she was actually over LMAO] Jimmy: [she so could be if we want because always inviting herself] Janis: [amuses me greatly why not] Jimmy: [Grace chasing Mia down but not to kiss her I hope and just like oh ffs because so over Mias obsession with JJ] Janis: [#thereallovestory] Jimmy: [they are everyones otp get over it now Mia] Janis: [least they can bants about how it's getting weird now, egg on your face sweaty Jimmy: [and she cant hang so she cant join them bants soz] Janis: [not soz, when you can start kissing again like it's purely to get them to fuck off but blatantly not] Jimmy: [going for it because you know Mia is too invested when Grace has to drag her away like dont be weird] Janis: [probably try to join in, just loling when they're gone] Jimmy: [you know they are having a bestie domestic, Grace having to be all what is your problem herself because seriously Mia get a grip my love] Janis: [oh the drama, weekly falling out is on, pick a side everyone] Jimmy: [at least JJ are living their best lives rn] Janis: ['why are you making me wanna stay, just a bit' 🤏] Jimmy: [kissing her again because challenge to make her wanna stay a lot is very much accepted] Janis: [just making your way back upstairs really slowly 'cos you're making out the whole way/being pushes backwards] Jimmy: [don't fall over and hurt yourselves either of you because that wouldnt be a mood and this is] Janis: [you got this, on your knees/sat anyway so it fine] Jimmy: [love that you keep having moments on stairs atm] Janis: [mewd] Jimmy: [god bless you both] Janis: [first time yay or nay?] Jimmy: [I say yes because it happened here OG anyway and feels are well high like how would we even stop them lol] Janis: [my thoughts exactly] Jimmy: [we have to steal them missing their stop on the bus from the OG and having to walk for another occasion though cos that was a mood] Janis: [yes easily done tho so we will] Jimmy: [blatantly re-read that hence me and my dementia remember so] Jimmy: [At least Cali cant kick off at her because she did technically stay in] Janis: [gonna say I do not tbh lol] Janis: [if they do just be like HE WAS LOCKED OUT fight me] Jimmy: [we all know Caleb is a soft touch anyway lads] Janis: [trutru also save the lecture she busylol] Jimmy: [he would have that boy over for dinner every night and lowkey adopt him haha] Janis: [he don't know that yet tho just thinking there's another bad egg on the scene] Jimmy: [mhmmm] Janis: [the joys of being a parent lmao] Jimmy: [arent you glad you went as hard as you did on the numbers guys] Janis: [regrets, you have 10] Jimmy: [awkward] Janis: [speaking of, how you wanna be lads] Jimmy: [staying forever is how he will wanna be clingy bitch] Janis: [probably need to go feed your siblings though so he could always have a headstart and she'll meet him there] Jimmy: [good point, gotta keep them alive] Janis: [especially if Ian is hiding] Jimmy: [at least he would be at work still so easy to avoid] Janis: [true tea, and if he shows Jimmy can pretend he been working all day anyway] Jimmy: [Twix will be going mental honey, poor bab] Janis: [🤞 cass been holding the fort and walked her] Jimmy: [Im gonna insist she has or Ill be 💔] Jimmy: [also gotta insist that Mia has been posting about them so they gotta be reminded of the fake shit after being the realest ever with each other like] Janis: [a good jump off point] Jimmy: [leave them alone and mind your business bitch literally why are you so bothered] Janis: [never known love, never known life] Janis: how many restraining orders you reckon her da has found loopholes in, like? Janis: [whatever extraness on Mia's socials] Jimmy: Fuck's sake Janis: yeah Janis: she must've left in a strop a while ago 'cos grace is stomping around here solo, like Jimmy: 💔 Janis: thoughts and prayers Jimmy: Hang on, let me start a gofundme to buy poor Gracie a new bestie Jimmy: 🧸 still in my bad books Janis: well, s'a hard sell so Janis: 🍀 to you Jimmy: Oh come on 🥇 optimist at work here Janis: call it clueless Janis: but love that for you Janis: luxury money can't buy Jimmy: Oi, be nice to me Janis: I am Janis: it's endearing Janis: only jealous, like Jimmy: Suspicious Jimmy: my undercover 👮🚔 senses are going Janis: Why? Janis: no case to crack here Janis: open book, me Jimmy: that's what a closed book would say Jimmy: got my 👀 on you, baby Janis: 😏 Janis: that's what a 45 year old perv would say Janis: nothing to hide, keep on 👀 Jimmy: Alright then Janis: you not on the bus? Janis: don't have to hide in the bushes w the binoculars Jimmy: I don't have time to spy on you 🚌👵💕 Jimmy: 👀 for another, tah Janis: 💔 Janis: move so fast Jimmy: told you I could keep up with you in the gym Janis: not gonna be your gym buddy now though 😭😭😭 Jimmy: have a new 🚿 buddy in a bit Jimmy: those non slip surfaces and grab rails 😍😍🤤🤤 Jimmy: it's a date and a party Janis: 😡 Janis: hope she breaks a hip xoxo Jimmy: 💪🏆 Jimmy: in good hands, her Janis: be nice to me too Jimmy: If I start Janis: ? Jimmy: I'll want you to get on this bus with me Janis: same Janis: they're being ridiculously OTT Jimmy: bit rude when that's my job Janis: I'll let 'em know Janis: dead curious, like 🙄 Jimmy: tell them I ain't done a shift of my other, raring to go, me Jimmy: such a strong worth ethic Jimmy: work* Janis: you want 'em to like you Janis: 😎 boy for life Jimmy: I want you to know I like you Jimmy: where OTT comes in Janis: I want that too Janis: no 🙄 needed Jimmy: Come back then Janis: I will Janis: when they shut up and give me a second alone Jimmy: How much trouble will you be in? Janis: not enough that I care Janis: unless they plan to actually lock me in my room, they know I won't stick around anyway, pretend to the contrary if they want Jimmy: Did you just quote me? Janis: didn't check if I got it verbatim but Jimmy: 💕 Janis: shut up 💘 Jimmy: you can't tell me to shut up when you're having my words come out of your mouth Janis: you know I say 'em nicer Jimmy: bollocks you love my accent Janis: just like it when you actually talk, babe Jimmy: Do you? Janis: 'course I do Jimmy: What do you wanna hear? Janis: How much you like me Janis: and how you're gonna show me Jimmy: [a voice memo thing going into far too much detail considering he is either on the bus or waiting for one] Janis: oh Janis: that's Janis: remind me why you aren't here again Jimmy: 'cause you're coming to me Jimmy: soon as Janis: yeah Janis: and I can stay Janis: 'til Ian shows again, yeah? Jimmy: even when he does Jimmy: I said, not kicking you out Janis: good Janis: 'cos don't wanna go unless we go together Janis: 💀🤞 Jimmy: 💌 Jimmy: got that in writing now Janis: love a contract, you Jimmy: #middle aged man kinks Janis: 😂 Janis: it's alright, you got stamina, for an old guy Jimmy: reword that tweet a bit before you hit send probably Janis: not gonna blow your cover Janis: bit late for the blow-by-blow account anyway Jimmy: 👍 Janis: in a stunning turn of events, gracie is helping me for some reason so should be able to get out of here sooner than anticipated Jimmy: very funny Janis: funny weird, yeah Janis: already ordered a lift so Jimmy: Hang on, you ain't joking? Janis: unless she is Janis: see in 5 Jimmy: unless she kills you Jimmy: still see you though 👻💕 Janis: counterproductive if that's what they're all claiming to be so upset about Janis: funny though Janis: she'd get shanked so fast in prison Jimmy: Might not, had loads of practice being Mia's bitch Janis: assume that's where she's running herself Jimmy: how romantic Jimmy: tell her not to, we don't need the competition Janis: absolutely not Jimmy: You won't have a convo with her or you won't tolerate them as an IT couple? Janis: 1. I'm not trying to help her ever Janis: 2. they're both in love with me Janis: 3. we're 🥇 and don't ever imply less Jimmy: So forceful you Jimmy: 😍😍🤤🤤 Janis: sort it out, honestly 😏 Jimmy: if you get to mine before me, you'll have to Jimmy: skipped the honeymoon and went straight to kids and a dog Janis: that's a point Janis: evidently YOUR honeymoon is over 'cos waited for you to get on that bus, like Janis: plan worked 💕🙌 Jimmy: never a bad plan, you Janis: n'awh Janis: don't worry, know how to do oven chips, I can sort it Jimmy: so does Cass, she's 12 not 2 Janis: excuse me, you want me to muck in or nah Jimmy: No, I don't want you to Jimmy: that's why I said you might have to Jimmy: under duress, same as me Janis: well I'm used to that Janis: no worries Jimmy: Ruining the fantasy a bit there, rich girl Janis: you can do better Jimmy: Obviously Janis: and you'll have plenty of time after the bedtime routine Jimmy: Not if our kid has owt to do with it but I'll make time for you Janis: can't stay awake long as I can Janis: 💪 Jimmy: I'll give you the 🏆 when I wake up then Janis: talking 'bout outlasting the kid but if you're 😪 already baby Jimmy: been tired since before I met you Jimmy: worst kept secret in my new boy mystery set Janis: poor boy Janis: I'll help you sleep, trust Jimmy: What's your singing voice like? Fed up of 🎻🎻🎻 me Janis: don't reckon I'm winning any 🏆 but Janis: do my best Jimmy: 👌 Janis: how do you do it then Jimmy: What? Janis: the whole having self-control thing Janis: 'cos when I see you I'll just wanna Jimmy: The clue's in the first bit Jimmy: it ain't about me Jimmy: what I wanna do Jimmy: I ain't got no self control, just Jimmy: shit in my way Janis: hmm Janis: makes sense Janis: all your habits, like 🚬 Jimmy: got plenty of self destruction, yeah Jimmy: nowt in the way of that Janis: I'll drink to that Jimmy: 🍻 Jimmy: There's no scotch but you can have owt else that he or I've not Janis: such a good host Jimmy: Do you have 🚬? Janis: nah but I'll go shop Janis: give you chance to get here Jimmy: Alright Janis: 👍 Jimmy: How do you do this? Janis: ? Jimmy: it's the longest 🚌 ride I've ever been on 😱😱 Jimmy: you really live in the middle of nowt, girl Janis: you were warned Janis: hoping it'll keep us in, hasn't really worked Jimmy: actually gonna have to move you in Jimmy: don't even like you it's just jealousy that you get to spend so much time with hot drivers like this bloke Jimmy: and the 👵👴 on board every time Janis: honestly, prime hunting ground for you Janis: it's probably trevor Janis: be more jealous, I know 'em all by name Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: Why you trying to make me get banned for 🥊? Jimmy: even if I won't need to visit you here 💀👑 and  the rest of the #squad will want me to show up Janis: 1. you're jealous of me for seeing them, not the other way 'round, remember Janis: 2. just really want an excuse to steal another car Janis: 3. gonna make a habit of giving them what they want? Jimmy: 1. that's obvs all a blur 'cause I'm too fuming to think clearly now Jimmy: 2. I didn't steal the 1st one so I don't reckon you can say another Jimmy: 3. Depends Janis: 1. Me too now, see 3 Janis: 2. you don't know how far I got, pisshead Janis: 3. 😒 Jimmy: What's that face for? Jimmy: You dunno what it depends on yet, mardy Janis: I know I don't like it either way Janis: but fine, what? Jimmy: I was just Jimmy: but nah it's alright, you don't wanna know Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: 😒😒 Janis: [imagine she's done them huge like on facebook] Janis: well tell me Jimmy: If they still want me to break up with you, I might Jimmy: to cut out all the fake shit between us Jimmy: that's what I were thinking Janis: who told you you were allowed to be so Jimmy: ? Janis: idk the right word Janis: cute just sounds fake Jimmy: I know what you mean Janis: alright, bighead 😏 Jimmy: Piss off, I meant about sounding fake Jimmy: that's why I reckon breaking up and just seeing each other when we want, how we want, is the best plan Janis: makes sense Janis: anything we were gonna achieve with it, we have by now so Janis: can just ghost 'em, like Janis: not like we have to make an annoucement, they'll do the rest themselves Jimmy: school might be weird, being exes, that's the only thing Janis: yeah Janis: not really an alternative though, is there? Jimmy: Be easier to fake 💔 than 💕 probably Jimmy: not like we have every lesson together anyway Janis: and school is shit anyway so Jimmy: If you want a day off from pretending to hate me, we'll skip Janis: why do I need to hate you Jimmy: We were so in love and now we ain't #duh Jimmy: every dickhead knows you can't be friends with your ex Jimmy: unless you want them to think you're a lesbian again, like Janis: if it's the only option we've got then it is Jimmy: You don't reckon it's a good one? Janis: nah Janis: but there ain't a good one Janis: not your fault, like Jimmy: Fake 💔 or fake 💕 then? Janis: 💔 why not Janis: may as well, change of scenery Jimmy: I get it 😒 is easier than 😍 for me an' all Janis: 👌 Jimmy: sorted then Janis: yep Jimmy: [shows her a doodle he's done of them while he's stuck on this bus like okay boy your 😍 are showing here] Janis: you still got time to post that or what Jimmy: Do I? Janis: your plan Jimmy: I'm not gonna 💔 til you wanna though Janis: what are we waiting for Jimmy: Alright I'll delete now Janis: 👋 Jimmy: Owt you want off my phone you can sort in a bit Janis: don't need to Jimmy: bit rude Janis: why Jimmy: Oi, a 🥇 photographer, me Janis: don't actually need a portfolio Janis: tah Jimmy: Fine Janis: don't fancy it, posting the 🚬 through your letterbox ok Jimmy: No, there's nowt okay about that Jimmy: what are you on about? Janis: what are you Janis: something's come up Jimmy: What has? Janis: does it matter? Janis: just need to go Jimmy: Why wouldn't that matter? Janis: don't be awkward Jimmy: you Jimmy: What's wrong? Janis: Nothing Janis: but this plan won't just happen by itself either Janis: things I need to sort now Jimmy: Not what you said before Jimmy: you said we didn't have to do nowt Jimmy: that they'd work it out Janis: about figuring it out Janis: I'm talking about the fallout Jimmy: What do you mean? Janis: well do you really wanna mope around and pretend to be 💔 Janis: actual 💔 Janis: that's the rep you want? think about it Janis: just means more faking, only with other people Jimmy: I'm not gonna get another fake girlfriend if that's what you're saying Janis: not saying you repeat this scheme Janis: but gotta be seen to be moving on, yeah Jimmy: No Janis: alright for you, isn't it Janis: who do you think they'll reckon dumped who Jimmy: You can dump me, I don't care what they think Janis: still fake, ain't it Janis: whatever way we play it Jimmy: Yeah but Jimmy: we can be real with each other Janis: I fucking hate it Janis: that it matters Jimmy: That's why I'm trying to give us a chance to start over Jimmy: Alright, we might have to give them one last show but after that whenever I see you or say owt it's real Janis: Is it though Jimmy: Why wouldn't it be? Janis: if you're trying to not see me again for real, just do that Janis: don't headfuck me Jimmy: You're the one who has come all this way to decide you don't fancy it Janis: it's you that keeps talking about hating and avoiding and all that shit Janis: how am I meant to take that Jimmy: If you don't fancy me anymore because fucking me weren't like you thought it were gonna be then alright Jimmy: but don't talk bollocks Jimmy: You know I wanna see you Janis: No Janis: it isn't that Janis: but no, I don't know that either Janis: feel like I don't know fuck all these days Jimmy: Janis Jimmy: I didn't wanna go, you have to know that, you were there Jimmy: and I wouldn't bring you here where I don't wanna fucking be if I didn't REALLY want to see you Janis: I'm Janis: stupid Janis: sorry Janis: take your pick Jimmy: just Jimmy: come back Jimmy: it don't matter Janis: it does if I've made it weirder than I already felt Jimmy: what can be weirder than not being fake with your fake girlfriend? Jimmy: I don't care, alright Janis: you thought it was weird Jimmy: What? No Jimmy: I mean actually telling you how I feel is weird Janis: oh Janis: well, agreed Jimmy: Agreeing is weird an' all, isn't it? Janis: can't take the other side and pretend this is standard for me, soz Jimmy: be weirder if it were Jimmy: You reckon I've got some fucked habits but that'd be Janis: don't be mad 'cos you're my 5th fake boyfriend, alright Janis: judgey Jimmy: That ain't funny or cute Jimmy: Shut up Janis: obviously not Janis: you approached me Janis: not doing that kinda suggestability voodoo Jimmy: OMG 🤐 Janis: yeah, think on Janis: was a pretty out of character thing to do, no? Jimmy: Paddy girls are pretty full on Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: Deny it Jimmy: there's nowt you can say Janis: not lumping myself in with that lot Janis: and you Jimmy: neither were I Jimmy: never have done Janis: ❄ Janis: I remember Jimmy: 👍 Janis: such a dick, you were Jimmy: Nah, I am Jimmy: no need to past tense it Janis: just specifying the time Jimmy: Alright, so don't forget to add I will be such a dick too then Jimmy: for the future Janis: if I'm about, I'll be sure to let you know Jimmy: 💔 you won't be able to @ me Jimmy: but wherever Ian drags us next somebody'll say it to my face, no doubt Janis: of course, you are a dick, after-all Jimmy: and yet still properly sought after Jimmy: a brainer lad would've planned that Janis: enough room for a proper beefy 🧠 in that massive head Jimmy: 💔🎻💔 that it's empty then Jimmy: well nearly Janis: poor boy Jimmy: I'll live, babe Jimmy: 🧟💕 Janis: now it's my turn to be 💔 Jimmy: Go on and have a 🎻 too then Jimmy: might as well Janis: can't even be 😍 over how generous you are Jimmy: Why not? Janis: 'cos you said from now on we're only saying real things Jimmy: and you shot down the 💡 in 🔥 Janis: no I didn't Janis: you didn't explain properly Jimmy: You don't wanna say real things to me Janis: where'd you get that idea from Jimmy: call it 👮🚔 senses Jimmy: or that you're well quick to not understand what I've said 'cause like I said 😒 is easier Janis: or maybe it's a weird situation that's hard to understand Janis: which we agreed on Janis: if 😒 was easier I would've thought it was the best idea ever Jimmy: Alright Janis: it ain't though Janis: so what are you saying Jimmy: nowt Janis: fuck off Janis: you reckon I can't handle real then Jimmy: You did, I were there Janis: so why are you saying I don't want it then Jimmy: No 🧠 Janis: ugh Janis: alright Jimmy: It just feels like Jimmy: you don't want any of this now Janis: that's not true Janis: why do you Janis: nah Jimmy: Go on Janis: it's Janis: like why would I have freaked out back there if I didn't want it Janis: when I thought you didn't Janis: not keeping you around as a sure thing when I don't give a fuck, am I Jimmy: I can't say how long I'll be around here anyway, you either so Jimmy: don't worry about it Jimmy: I'm just being Janis: don't mean we can't now Janis: does it Janis: every fucker else does, not like they have any more guarantee Jimmy: Not a habit of mine to leave 💔 lasses behind me Janis: behave Jimmy: I don't want to, had to for ages when you were only giving me fake 💕 Jimmy: 💀💀💀 me that Janis: 😏 Janis: yeah but the 💔 has always been fake, what I'm saying Janis: don't need to think about that Jimmy: Good 'cause as far as 💭 I can do better Janis: go on then Jimmy: [the most 🔥 sext of all time obvs] Janis: can I come back Janis: please Jimmy: I said Jimmy: nowt's changed Janis: just checking Jimmy: where are you? Janis: not far Janis: well a bit but not out of town far Jimmy: 🏃? Janis: if that's you, then no, think of your lungs Jimmy: not the bit of me I'm thinking with and I'm only thinking of you, not me but alright Jimmy: if you can't handle another race Janis: now I'm with ya Janis: 'course I'M gonna run Janis: but the incentive is appreciated Jimmy: I'll appreciate you better than that Janis: you better Janis: i've missed you Jimmy: 🥇 baby, you'll see Jimmy: it feels like ages since I left Jimmy: it's been ages but you know what I mean Janis: yeah Janis: like actual time as passed and not a day Janis: it's always been a bit like that with you Janis: weird Jimmy: but you were still always gone before I was ready for you to be Jimmy: weirder Janis: felt it too Janis: weirdest Jimmy: I Janis: yeah? Jimmy: just Jimmy: it is a mess but Jimmy: I'm glad I did ask you Jimmy: nowt else could've happened if not Janis: you reckon? Jimmy: You reckon I'm wrong? Jimmy: somehow don't picture you hanging round the CG like your twin Jimmy: obviously I could have caught you in the gym 🏆💪 but unlikely you'd be chatty then, sore loser you are Janis: ha x2 Janis: 😏 Janis: we do go to the same school, you know Jimmy: Were you gonna offer to help me with my homework or what? Janis: not porn Janis: and I'm not some bitch with pigtails and a plaid mini skirt, like Jimmy: not with that attitude Janis: 😂 Jimmy: and I've seen you in your uniform, like Jimmy: not that far off Janis: you're such an idiot Janis: but you did know then, that's good Jimmy: Know what, that you're really fit? Obviously Janis: that we were at the same school before the fateful trip Jimmy: I get that I hide them well but I've got 👀 Jimmy: I saw you, like I said Janis: and obviously I couldn't miss the welcome party so Janis: 👀 likewise Jimmy: Am I ever gonna see you today or did you get lost? Janis: I'm on my way Janis: I'm fast, works in and out of your favour, I'm afraid Janis: depends which way I'm 🏃 Jimmy: Tah for not being well fast at everything then Jimmy: be over before I did my best tricks Jimmy: and you'd be asleep like half that bus were Janis: 💔 get used to not having an audience fast Janis: and benefits of not being a lad, just go again Jimmy: can't if you're 💀💀💀 Jimmy: get me arrested that Janis: promises promises Jimmy: which you know you can hold me to Jimmy: unless your memory loss is back Janis: no but Janis: stop distracting me if you want me to get there any time soon Jimmy: Baby, I've seen you multitask Jimmy: come on Jimmy: can do so many things at once you Janis: I wanna save it for you Janis: you turned me on so it's yours Jimmy: I'm going nowhere yet but the kids and dog are Jimmy: this whole house is yours, just need to get to it Janis: serious? Jimmy: Deadly, as usual Janis: Good thing I'm only a couple streets away then Janis: hold on Jimmy: Surviving somehow Janis: 'cos you can't 💀💀💀 without me Jimmy: keep my promises, yeah, that kind of dickhead Janis: I like that kind of dickhead Jimmy: Shakespeare's got nowt on you, girl Jimmy: you better only be a couple of streets away Jimmy: don't be saying shit like that to me if I can't respond immediately Janis: [rings doorbell] Jimmy: [thank god he sent everyone away because we know what kind of hello she's getting] Janis: [lol if someone else answered that would've been very awkward for us all] Jimmy: [likewise if Twix got there before him] Janis: [distracted with food probably] Jimmy: [it's alright she can be gone too on a walk or wherever] Janis: [my boo say everyone out] Jimmy: [give them their privacy please they've had enough audiences]

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Grace

Janis: what are you up to rn Grace: UM why? Janis: 'cos we can't find Cass and can't take the kid on the decent rides, will you just stand with him for a minute Grace: oh Grace: yeah sure Janis: cheers Janis: give you some cash, he likes the easy shit Grace: OMG don't even mention it Grace: or like worry about it cos I'm not trying to break a nail rn Janis: you've gotta entertain him somehow Grace: Duh Grace: but that's not with waltzers and rollercoasters babes Janis: I've just said he can't come with Janis: we're talking coconut shy level, Grace Grace: & I'm saying I know what I'm doing Janis: well don't fuck it up please Janis: call if he gets too worked up he's shy Grace: obvs! just go Janis: it's serious Janis: and you haven't said where you are Grace: I'm being serious Grace: I'll meet you at the sweet stand Janis: 👍 Grace: 👌👌👌 Grace: [shows up with a very unimpressed lad in tow] Janis: [just such a withering look like who the fuck are you] Grace: [does not intro him and is just intro-ing herself to Bobby and it's cute] Janis: [just in the background letting Jimmy do what he need to do but lowkey trying to walk away like bye] Grace: [it's fine girl we know Grace has got this] Janis: [ahh when you can't stand to be around her for literally five seconds] Grace: [me when Trace is on one] Janis: [go have fun] Grace: is he allowed any more 🍬🍩🍭??? Grace: he says he's had NONE but I know when a boy is feeding me a line 😂 Janis: try and make him have a hot dog or some chips first Janis: if not he'll be 🤢 Grace: me too tbh Janis: such a good influence, like Grace: I'm sorry that my date is a feeder or something 😱😱😱 Grace: does not take no for an answer Janis: bodes well Grace: UGH IKR 🙄🙄🙄 Grace: he's in a mood cos I got 💋 on him earlier like ?? excuse me Grace: I don't have my own makeup line yet, boy Janis: it is grim when you've used a cup Janis: like a crime scene Grace: OMG don't be on his side! Grace: he wouldn't be complaining if it was anywhere but his face Janis: behave Janis: shits probably harder to wash off that herpes Grace: EW Janis: you said it Grace: I literally did not Janis: you did Janis: don't need to hear about you lipsing anyone Grace: Okay hun that makes no sense Grace: if it had staying power it wouldn't have transferred and he wouldn't be 😣😣😣 Grace: & I wouldn't have to go hard on 🍬🍩🍭 to show him my chill vibe or whatever Grace: so #notlikeothergirls & so annoying Janis: what's any of that got to do with me Grace: 🙄🙄 Janis: you talk for the sake of it Janis: talk to your shit date, not me Grace: sure Grace: laters, babes Janis: 👍 Grace: 👋 Janis: [later than you were probably expecting, like] Janis: k where are you Grace: bumper cars Grace: there's a line but we're basically at the front of it now 🙏🙏 Janis: cool we'll jump it Grace: you can take my place, these are NOT driving shoes Janis: babe, you just steer Grace: really!?? Janis: yes 😂 Janis: how do you not know that Grace: Oh thank god! Grace: idk I've never been on them Janis: how is that possible Janis: maybe you should go in with your lad, let Jim take Bobs Grace: Before this date I haven't been to the fair since I was younger than Bobby so Grace: Oh please, he's long gone Grace: Your boy can if he wants to though, that'd be cute Janis: sure, too many sights and smells, can't control her gag reflex when she's abused it that hard Janis: oh, soz Grace: 🙄🙄 not everything I do is with Mia, thank you Grace: & no you're not, babes Janis: pretty much since you were a bit older than him, maybe Janis: well not really but can't blame him Janis: didn't reckon on you bringing a child so Grace: do you see her rn? obvs not Grace: 🤷🤷 if he wants to say that's the reason Janis: can't really bring your missus on a date Janis: got to have some boundaries Grace: can you STOP Janis: what Janis: I said soz, make Jimmy buy you a drink or something Grace: I don't want a drink Grace: I'm gonna have to work out tomorrow Janis: well can you not just take it Janis: you don't need paying but he'll wanna do something so Grace: He knows my coffee order Grace: I'll make time to go Janis: k good Grace: He's a cute kid, I don't even need anything Janis: that just makes you sound like a child snatcher so keep that hush Grace: you're ridiculous Janis: am i Grace: Duh Janis: 👌 Grace: Whatever, I've said my goodbyes so 👋 too Janis: cheers Janis: later Grace: Any message for mum and dad? Janis: lol that's a good idea Grace: I obvs meant about where you'll be or when you'll be back Grace: but 👌👌👌 Janis: that's even stupider then, ain't it Grace: mhmm Grace: my bad, hun Janis: don't mention it Janis: not the easiest mistake to make but 🤷🤷 Grace: 🤷🤷🤷🤷 Grace: I'm so over it Grace: you too, I'm sure Janis: if they're still acting like they don't have answers to either of those questions, I can imagine Janis: could always repurpose my message for yourself Grace: if I wasn't going straight home but tragically Janis: what difference does that make Janis: can still tell them to fuck off Grace: not before dad picks me up thanks Grace: it's not like that boy will be doing a U turn now I'm Bobby free Janis: lol no way he was 17 Janis: looked 12 Janis: and he still would, he's a fucking pushover Grace: he's 19 Janis: so a nonce Janis: cool Grace: You're literally OBSESSED Grace: first I'm a child snatcher then he is Janis: that's literally the definition Janis: you're a child, he ain't, what do you want me to do Janis: didn't work anyways and even if it did, no one's throwing 😍 at it Grace: If you wanna report him, go off Janis: yeah I'll ruin some sad cunts life 'cos you're out here trying to prove something Grace: ???????!!!!!!! Grace: he asked me out, I agreed, it's not a big deal Janis: mhmm Janis: swear guv Grace: OMG SHUT UP Janis: sort it out for fuck's sake Grace: I didn't know he was that old! You literally just said yourself he doesn't look it Janis: don't incriminate yourself Janis: not illegal but just as weird if you're tryna fuck 12 year olds Grace: gross Janis: you said it Grace: No Janis: definitely did Grace: Leave me alone Janis: ooh alright Janis: touchy Grace: OMG why can't you ever stop? Janis: pot kettle Janis: why are you being so sensitive Grace: Why are you still talking to me? Janis: 'cos what's wrong with you Grace: yeah cos I'm gonna tell you Janis: why do you care Janis: you got what you wanted from him anyway Grace: What does that even mean? Grace: you have no idea what I want or wanted Janis: you wish Grace: obvs you do, but I really don't Grace: I'm wishing you'd go away thanks Janis: yeah, can't you tell how much I wanted to see you Janis: good catch up babes Grace: 😂😂😂 Janis: about right Grace: sure Grace: see you at school, like Grace: Spanish is first lesson back Janis: maybe Grace: 💔 Janis: isn't it just Grace: next time you steal a car is fine too Janis: next time it won't be nans so 🤞 no Grace: just don't look up my bad date, his wouldn't get you a mile out of Dublin Janis: got standards, darling Grace: I know, babes Grace: everybody does Grace: You can only wish for secrets Janis: can give the daily vlog a miss then Janis: phew Janis: love it when they put the work in for me Grace: mine's postponed cos I don't film little kids but there's plenty of other content THANK GOD Janis: 💔 should've thought of that before agreeing to go out with one really Janis: not very committed Janis: I'll 🙌 to that Grace: 👌👌👌 Janis: n'awh Janis: say hi to the gals from me Grace: I'd love to but there's been a disconnect Grace: I'll say it to my ex instead, he just got here Janis: less impressive than the 19 year old Janis: forgetting your audience Janis: they'll probably go for it though THANK GOD 👍 Grace: You're forgetting I only need a ride Janis: that's low, man Grace: If you wanna console him, he'll be free later Janis: you know something's gonna happen to you one day yeah Grace: I know you've got your 🤞 Janis: get a grip Grace: obvs the plan Grace: I'll make sure he's parked first tho, wouldn't wanna cause a crash Janis: unlikely Grace: not really Janis: if anyone bought you were a decent ride you wouldn't have to rely on your ex Grace: if I wasn't he wouldn't be back Janis: he's back 'cos your price is a ride Janis: you know it's not even a fiver in petrol Janis: literally the eastern euro girls on the street aren't as cheap Grace: wow Grace: so judgemental Janis: you're dirty Janis: it's disgusting, judgment from me is the least of your worries Grace: Yeah it honestly is Grace: & I'm sure you have better things to do so Janis: yeah talking to mum and dad for a start Grace: cute Grace: say hey from me Janis: you reckon I won't Janis: got no loyalty to you Janis: be more than a hey if they can manage to do even a semi-competent job Grace: I don't care if you do or whatever else you do Janis: Don't need you to Janis: be out of your hands, like Grace: sure Grace: they'll really show up for whatever slut intervention you think is about to happen Janis: you don't reckon Janis: you're delusional if you don't Grace: you are Grace: where's it been, babes? Janis: you're putting yourself in danger Grace: Me and how many of the rest of us Janis: you're stupid, Rio at least has some brains Janis: marginally more self-esteem Janis: born victim, you, trust me, they're gonna get on board Grace: nobody's more devastated than me that I'm not more like Rio, obvs Grace: except maybe dad Grace: 💔 there's not 10 of her Janis: no one cares what he wants Janis: irrelevant beyond being a sperm donor Janis: enjoy your chat 💕 Grace: 💜💜💜 Janis: 😂 Grace: it will be amusing if it happens Grace: I'll keep you a front row seat, hun Janis: don't worry Janis: buzzin' I care, so far in my DMs Janis: must be gutting when you're the only one that does and you get no recognition for it Grace: 😭😭🙄🙄 Janis: that's alright, sure your ex will take you back and console you Janis: epic shag and all around winner that he sees you as 😍 Grace: if he won't, I'll try one of the others Janis: always the shameful hookup when you've run out of lotion, never the girlfriend Grace: mhmm Janis: love that for you Janis: just get her in to help you with your prices Grace: 😂😂😂 Grace: she is good at maths Janis: is she Grace: oh of course she's never helped you with your homework Grace: my bad again, babes Janis: not what she's remembered for is it Janis: being the whore who married her cousin is really all that comes to mind but that's almost sweet Janis: pop it in the eulogy, lovely Grace: if you'll excuse me, I have to make some conversation with this boy Grace: such a good chat tho Janis: not what he's paying for Janis: so don't worry about not being a decent conversationalist Grace: tragically telling him that wouldn't get me where I wanna go so Janis: the tragic thing is you think you're too good for the bus when you're literally selling yourself Janis: wonder how many times this one told you you talk too much? 🤔 Grace: Oh please Grace: & I'm the extra one Grace: everything's a drama tonight, hun Janis: don't act as if you don't understand Janis: he would only pick you up so you blow him Janis: you aren't friends, they don't care about you or even respect you Janis: it's as simple as that Janis: and you're not even trying to get out, you're going home, half an hour away Janis: it's actually the saddest thing I've ever heard Grace: not anymore obvs Grace: why would I go home for the lecture? Janis: because you've got no balls and nowhere to go Janis: fucking hell I hope they pay for a decent shrink, seriously Grace: Thanks to you I've got nowhere to go Janis: go home Janis: sort yourself out Grace: I'll take the party he's offering but thanks again Janis: that's right Janis: get off your face then it ain't your fault Grace: It'll be my fault but I won't care Grace: you always tell me not to so congrats, finally taking that advice Janis: you'll be crying on a stranger's bathroom floor within the hour Janis: you ain't built for it, so tah for the guilt trip but i ain't biting Grace: I love that you've given me that long tbh Janis: got to earn his time and attention and petrol first Grace: Oh honey, I could do that crying Janis: wanna turn your phone off Janis: they'll be out looking now Grace: I would but if it's not on my snap it didn't happen, don't need to tell you tho Janis: your locations on Janis: they aren't that thick Grace: What do you care? You want them to find me Janis: you mean you do Janis: christ Grace: You think you know everything about me Grace: where does the delusion even come from? Janis: you think no one does Janis: let's unpack that one Grace: no-one does know everything Grace: they can't Janis: someone needs to take your netflix away too whilst they're at it Janis: fucking hell Janis: we aren't 13, even then that shit was embarrassing Janis: now it's well Janis: get yourself on the corner with your bessies level Grace: Whatever Janis: you really thought that was a revelation Janis: put it as your next caption, get those kids clicking ❤ Grace: 👌👌👌 Janis: this is what comes of letting stoners breed, jesus Janis: experiment over Grace: we all wish it was Grace: at least they've stopped now Janis: no need to wish Grace: not gonna jump out of this moving car, however much you'd love that Janis: i know Janis: no balls Grace: 💔 Janis: answer your phone yeah Grace: As if Janis: for fuck's sake, Grace Grace: I don't need to hear mum chatting to me like I'm Carly or Edie Grace: or dad telling me that he still loves me Janis: well then, think that it's not about what you need, I don't care Janis: just do it Grace: I literally just said no Janis: I literally don't care Grace: So get out of my inbox Janis: answer your phone and I will Grace: I'd actually rather kms than answer that phone call in front of this boy Grace: it's not happening, go away Janis: no Janis: answer the phone Grace: no Janis: do it Janis: stop being selfish Grace: 😂😂😂 Grace: coming from you Janis: and? Grace: it's just hilarious that you think you can make me do anything Janis: 😂😂😂 Janis: answer the phone Grace: no Janis: do it Janis: he doesn't like you anyway so don't act like that's an excuse Grace: It's not about him Grace: he answered the fastest Janis: then talk to mum and dad Grace: I've nothing to say & like I said I don't wanna hear what they are going to Grace: no thanks Janis: No one cares Janis: pick up the phone and get it over with then Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: exactly Grace: I'll do it when I'm drunk obvs, there'll be no stopping me then Janis: why not now Grace: I'm busy, like Janis: no you ain't Grace: excuse you Grace: the fact this makeup has no staying power was literally the opener of this convo Janis: and what Grace: & he'd kick me out of the car if he saw me without any Grace: duh Janis: again Janis: so Janis: that's the point Grace: your point, babes Grace: mine was that I wanna be here Janis: no, yours was you need a lift Janis: which you don't now so get out Grace: no, it was that I don't wanna go home thanks Janis: no one does but you have to Grace: Why do I? Grace: I literally don't Janis: yeah you do, you aren't being safe or smart Grace: &? Grace: it's been forever since I was either Janis: exactly Janis: so go home Grace: Why now? Janis: its pretty obvious Grace: No Grace: it would've been obvs if someone had said something at my 13th birthday party when I went further than anyone during 7 mins in heaven cos Connor O'Malley said he really liked me and he wanted my birthday to be special for a good reason again Grace: or when I hooked up with his best friend like a week later cos he lied Grace: You don't care, you've never cared Grace: don't tell me what to do now Janis: yeah, your birthday Janis: and you reckon you got it bad it could've been worse if I hadn't bothered saying anything Janis: you think i'm going to pick up your slack and be 2nd to you Janis: for what Grace: OMG you're just like Mia, putting yourself in the centre of everything Grace: I've never thought that or wanted it Grace: 2nd to me!? I'm not that fucking delusional Janis: how dare I remind you its my birthday and all Janis: bullshit, Grace Grace: That wasn't the point Grace: I'm trying to tell you, it's too little, too late Janis: that's it Janis: that's your problem is it Janis: poor you Janis: get a grip, you and every other girl at school Janis: fucking hell, edie died Grace: Get a clue Grace: this is why I can't talk to you Janis: not trying to talk to you Janis: go home Janis: I'm not there Grace: Even Diego's out so like I said, why should or would I? Janis: because you wanna be Grace: You're actually not on the same planet, I s2g Janis: that heart to heart you're trying to have Janis: they're the only ones that'll listen Janis: so go Grace: They won't Janis: bollocks Janis: all they do Grace: You go Grace: do whatever it is you want Grace: I'm good Janis: no you're not Grace: obvs but as good as I can be 🍾🎊 so 👋 Janis: no Janis: I've told you Grace: Go off, I'll mute you when it gets boring Janis: no you won't Grace: ILYSM but even so Janis: you won't so save us both the hassle Grace: you'll be hassled by drunk me, babes Grace: she'll be living her best life Janis: no one believes that Janis: and you think I wasn't bored before this began Janis: difference between us is I do give a shit Grace: of course I don't think that, we OBVS know each other so well Janis: hurry up Grace: 💃💃 Janis: hilarious Janis: don't reckon I won't show up and bring them with either Janis: get your head out your arse and make it easy for yourself before I make it worse Grace: that's your fave thing tho Grace: it'd be so mean Janis: not stopped you before Janis: go on Grace: drunken portuguese is some drinks off but sure dad's waiting by the phone so Janis: can't even remember any so Janis: what do I care, you're talking to them Grace: this is so annoying now Grace: you're putting me off Janis: now Janis: you are slow Janis: come on Grace: shhhhhhhhhhhhh Janis: no Janis: [rings her all the times] Grace: 🙌💜 Janis: picked you up yet Grace: 😂😂😂 Grace: they're slow too, hello Grace: I've been saying that this entire time Janis: told them where you are or what Grace: mhmmm just gonna send them the location so they can hang Janis: do it then Grace: I 👏 AM 👏 BUSY Janis: no, you aren't Grace: Oooh this boy says he knows you Grace: very ginger, very aggressive 👋 Janis: okay Janis: that's nice Janis: off you pop Grace: he is not cute, babes Janis: what a tragedy Janis: start dialling or I'm gonna come over Grace: No you're not Grace: you never wanna be where I am Grace: & neither does your actually cute bf Janis: correct Janis: that's not what it's about so do it Grace: Just let me have a night off OMG!!!!!!!!! Grace: you get to do everything you want Janis: so Janis: you aren't me and you don't know what you want Janis: sort it out Grace: yeah okay I'll figure all that out in the AM Janis: no, you won't Janis: we're coming so you can think about it all you like once they're done Grace: STOP Janis: why should I Grace: cos I'm asking you to Grace: cos you're my sister & you don't even love me Janis: so you think you can just say and do all that fucked up shit and I'm not gonna stop you Janis: I don't think so Grace: What do you what me to say or do? Janis: I've been clear, call mum and dad and get them to come get you Grace: & after that?? Grace: Why do you want me to be all alone like?????? Janis: they're going to talk to you, work something out Grace: they're gonna talk at me and we'll all 😭😭 & nothing will be any different literally Grace: not drunk enough for that yet soooooo Janis: try listening yeah Grace: they're the MOST cringe though 😱😱😱 Janis: then you should agree Grace: 😂😂 okay bitch Janis: mhm Janis: they're waiting, like Grace: UGH Janis: yeah Janis: they've said they'll text so I'm not going Grace: What did you say? Janis: why? Grace: cos I wanna know how bad the freakout will be Grace: what did you say about me? Janis: what you said Janis: no need to lie, you gave it all up Grace: so you just told them everything Janis: all the relevant info, yeah Grace: I literally can't go home EVER Janis: yeah you can Grace: How could you do that to me!?? OMG Janis: how could I not Janis: not cosigning on that shit Grace: cos it's none of their business what I do Grace: or yours but at least you're not like OLD Janis: you're their kid, that's literally all their business is Grace: So are you! You don't let them tell you anything Janis: they're still meant to try Janis: and they do Grace: I hate this Janis: good Janis: you're not totally crazy then Grace: can't you come instead? Grace: I'd take Rio over them rn Janis: probably don't Janis: when she have her last kid, probably hormonal Janis: well I ain't got a car and we know how you feel about me stealing one but I can come Grace: IOU 💜 Grace: screenshot that in case I'm more drunk than I think I am Janis: you're always more drunk than you think you are Janis: forget about it, like Grace: me or like everyone? Grace: 🤔🤔🤔 Janis: you, specifically but yeah Janis: most in general Grace: my ex isn't if you wanna fight him Grace: cos you wanna fight most people Janis: which one Grace: this one Grace: oh you mean how many hookups ago duh Janis: i mean name, any other identifiers, even then, unlikely i'll remember Grace: Tyler Grace: he's not white that helps him stand out in my exes line up Grace: hmmm Grace: short and mad about it? Grace: that's his identifier with me but shhh Janis: 😂 Janis: oh right, can recall that one then Grace: he does NOT like you, babes Grace: too tall obvs Janis: 💔 Janis: gutted, obvs Janis: his 👀 are chest height and everything, that I remember Grace: IKR?! Grace: he was so 😣😣😣 cos I had my 👠s on Grace: boy they weren't for you! I'm SORRY Janis: probably gonna wanna steal some shoes if you're coming with me though Grace: ??? Janis: 👟 Janis: you'll be like a  baby 🦒 on ice Grace: are we walking all the way home? Janis: depends Janis: send us your location and I'll see what I can do Grace: [does] Janis: we could walk that Janis: but we can get a bus like 10 minutes from there if you need Grace: Today has been the literal WORST from the moment I agreed to the fair idc Janis: that means no complaints then yeah Grace: can I do them now cos I've been so excited to go out with him since I met him and then FINALLY it comes around & ugh Janis: seemed like a moody prick Grace: boys are such liars Grace: like okay you're nothing like you were that day in town & you're actually 19 & I don't think you even wanna be here Janis: yep Janis: girls too, in fairness Janis: you're just used to that and not trying to fuck 'em so Grace: I just thought he was different, nice or something Grace: like you said I should go out with Janis: yeah well Janis: never said it'd be easy, like Janis: few and far between Grace: I tried really hard Grace: Like REALLY Grace: it's so stupid Janis: ain't your fault he was a twat Grace: I fell for it Grace: nice lads aren't here for me, obvs, I should've known Grace: I literally do know Janis: it ain't that simple Grace: It is though Grace: I'm a bitch Grace: Is Jimmy coming? Janis: don't worry about that right now Janis: nah, he don't need to Grace: Tell him I'm sorry then Janis: bit rude i don't get one Janis: it's fine Grace: I mean for everything Grace: Mia Grace: since he got here Janis: yeah Janis: pretty mental, even for you lot Grace: I told her, I keep telling her Grace: cos I am happy for you, like Janis: alright, I'll tell him Grace: Believe me though Janis: I do Janis: don't be weird, like Grace: you have to cos I love you, okay? Grace: but idk what to do about her Janis: I can handle her Janis: he can too Janis: but she's genuinely just Janis: you know Janis: you need to handle her too, yeah Grace: I don't work with her though Grace: or without Grace: cos she's not talking to me rn & look Janis: bollocks Janis: she would've told you to go for it with that lad Janis: come on Grace: I met him because she was being a bitch about you that day he was over at our house & I made her leave Grace: I wouldn't have gone into town on my own otherwise Janis: you could've met him any time Janis: and it's not about him Janis: you've gotta admit, he's not exactly out of character in your ex line-up Janis: can't think like that Grace: she would've said no & none of this would have happened so Tyler wouldn't have picked me up & mum & dad wouldn't think I'm a sex worker Janis: I didn't tell them you were a sex worker Janis: and she only would've said no 'cos she'd wanna be watching us so that's not like she's looking out for you Janis: not like she's got a sixth sense for dickheads herself Grace: I hate her Grace: I hate my life Janis: yeah Janis: I know Janis: you've got to get rid of her at some point Grace: Why don't you love me? Janis: Grace Janis: it'd just be easier if we didn't Janis: for all of us, you especially Grace: what does that mean???? Janis: it only hurts if you love or care or Janis: whatever Grace: but its not about Edie cos you didn't love me before Grace: & you love him, your boyfriend so Grace: what did I do? Janis: that's not true Janis: I don't know Janis: maybe I can't Grace: but you literally love him Janis: no I don't Grace: It's everywhere, all over everything Grace: I can't be on my phone without seeing it Grace: or in the same room as you Janis: yeah and how many of your exes did you actually love Grace: that's not the same Grace: I don't look at them like that & they'd never look at me like it either Grace: it's so fake, it has to be if I'm in it Janis: I've not known him that long Janis: no one has, like Grace: So? Janis: can't be in love with someone you don't know, right Grace: I know when I've done the wrong thing like IMMEDIATELY Grace: maybe you can still feel something that soon when it's good too idk Grace: not the right person to ask about love Janis: noted, babe Janis: just saying, think lots of people fake it Grace: Yeah Grace: sometimes you have to & sometimes you want to Janis: do you want to? Grace: when? Grace: I fake like everything, babes, you need to hit me with specifics Janis: well that's what I mean Janis: if your ratio is mostly wanting to, then I guess that's alright Janis: but it ain't so Grace: it's like I have to pretend I'm not freaking out whenever a boy touches me but I want to pretend that's not always gonna be a thing Grace: specifics Grace: I have to be friends with Mia but I don't want to Janis: Why do you have to Grace: ??????? Janis: be friends with her Grace: like I said, it's too late Grace: I can't go back and not tell her everything or have her with me for everything Grace: idk how to do things without her anymore Grace: I need her even if I don't like her Janis: 'course you can Janis: look at us, we're blood relatives and we manage Janis: you don't want her fucking up everything you do forever Grace: I'll have her to blame that way though Grace: if it's just me, it's literally me Janis: nah Janis: family album full of people you can blame Janis: easy Janis: swear Grace: she hates you & I wanna hate you, sometimes Grace: so I thought that would be easy Janis: yeah but she also wants to live in my skin so Janis: complicates matters Grace: but like same ?? so Janis: now you see why I didn't wanna come to those sleepovers Grace: fine cos I don't want you there being prettier than me Janis: 😏 yeah right Grace: ugh Janis: you alright Grace: I just didn't wanna cry here, you know? Grace: he'll think it's about him Janis: go outside Grace: I wish screaming I DON'T LOVE YOU BYE actually meant that Grace: instead of making people think I do Janis: screaming anything don't really help your case Janis: try 🤐 Grace: actually can't though, sorry Grace: 💘 or 🤐 Janis: I've got headphones Janis: it's fine Grace: Where's Jimmy's mum? Janis: not coming to pick you up, can tell you that for certain Grace: Is she dead? Janis: Don't know Janis: did Bobby talk about her lots then Grace: He asked me if we've got one Grace: & said that he doesn't Janis: yeah, she pissed off, about the sum of it Janis: don't know if he knows that or what though so Grace: Maybe he was too little Grace: he's so sweet Janis: yeah, pretty cute Grace: like really gentle, little lads are normally so loud & annoying Janis: girls are well worse Janis: especially the ones in this family Grace: duh Grace: you can say I'm most annoying, babes 👑 treat yourself Janis: was talking about the actual children, like but you know Janis: fight a toddler if you need to, babe Grace: Oh so I'm an actual child when a 19 year old lies to me but not when I want a 👑 Grace: so rude Janis: that's life Janis: don't make the law up, soz Grace: 💔 Janis: I'll run for PM when I get a sec Grace: I love that for you Janis: obvs Janis: no 👑 Grace: but you have any food?? Janis: food? Grace: I'm so hungry like all the time 😱😱😱 aren't you? Janis: nah 'cos I eat enough and at the right times Janis: I've passed hundreds of kebabbies and shit, we'll go get something Grace: 🙏🙏🙏🙏 Janis: who's gaff even is this Grace: UM idk Grace: his cousin maybe? Grace: no his uncle Grace: no Janis: don't need the family tree, I get the vibe Janis: are there any other girls from school there like Grace: that's a real no Grace: I would not be here Janis: ugh Grace: if I'm gonna commit suicide I'll do it myself thanks Grace: don't need them or their insta stories Janis: not my main concern Grace: ?? Janis: it'd be better if it was an actual party with school people Janis: not his cousin uncle and co Grace: Why? Janis: because why would he bring you around his older male relatives Janis: what do you have in common with him, never mind them Janis: it's so dangerous, Grace Grace: I didn't know it was gonna be this sketchy Grace: that's not what he said Janis: yeah well boys lie, remember Janis: it's fine, I'm only a few streets away now, apparently Grace: I'm outside so we can just leave, yeah? Grace: it's not gonna be like a thing Janis: nah I well fancy going in there and shouting my head off and all Grace: you know what I mean Janis: if you're outside then yeah, what am I gonna do Grace: I'm sorry Janis: at least you are okay this time Janis: I meant it when I said something's gonna happen though Grace: It won't even I'm so done Janis: alright, well you all say that when you feel like shit Janis: general you that time Grace: he's deleted Janis: 👌 Grace: Like, I'll obvs get new shitty exes but no need to go back here Janis: screenshot that one, yeah? Grace: 💜 Grace: he's not that cute, I was just over all the white boys Grace: no offense Janis: variety is the spice of life Janis: though literally no idea who that ginger you're talking about is Grace: I think he thinks you slept with his gf?? Grace: I set him straight on that, literally Janis: ha gutted i did that Janis: shh Grace: No way you would've, he showed me a pic & you can do so much better, babes Grace: trust Janis: awks Janis: poor ginge Grace: he wouldn't stop shouting at me like excuse me we're not the same person Grace: as if I'm gonna turn around and you're the back of my head Janis: you probably telepathically told me to do it though Janis: know what twins are like Grace: if she was cute, sure Janis: i don't think that helps us sound any less weird Janis: glad you went with a different clapback Grace: there's worse things than homewrecking someone that ugh Grace: but 👌👌 Janis: not taking that one for the team Janis: no matter how much of a cunt he was Janis: soz Grace: fine, wouldn't wanna risk barista boy's 💘 anyway Grace: a bitch but not that bitch Janis: shut up idiot Grace: he's so highkey 😍😍😍 & I think that's nice Janis: shame he ain't coming Janis: be hilarious if you said that to his face Janis: for me anyway Grace: I've seen enough PDA thank you Janis: you were definitely told to leave so Grace: I'm still mad at you btw Grace: & you can't make me leave a coffee shop, bitch Grace: I was mid ☕ Janis: that weren't my idea Grace: idc still 😱😱😱 Janis: your mates shouldn't bitch so loudly, like Grace: 🙄🙄 I know Grace: I'm so over it Janis: seems exhausting Janis: having to give a shit about what everyone else is up to all the time Grace: mhmmmmmm Janis: and just to be bitches Janis: seriously Grace: they're just hung up on you specifically cos every boy they want has asked you out & you said no Grace: boys they can't even get Grace: like it's your fault you're prettier than them Grace: when they have nobody to blame for how petty they are trying to be Grace: it's so boring & ridiculous!!! Janis: should fuck 'em just to really make it worth their rage but Janis: do you do it too, when it ain't me Grace: Ew no don't Grace: &? I know what I am, honey Janis: unlikely, reasons I said no Janis: I mean, it's probably easy to fall into that way of being Janis: like when you left all your shit at CG Grace: Okay no Grace: not talking about that with you ever Janis: why not, I literally had to give you your stuff Janis: we all know what it was Grace: exactly so we don't have to go there Janis: alright Grace: are you here or do I have time to kms? Janis: not trying to embarrass you Janis: and yeah not far Janis: this is just the longest street ever for some reason Grace: you should stop smoking with that boy Janis: please Grace: mhmm please do Janis: we're a long way from you giving anyone lectures Janis: let alone me Grace: it's still gross & you're already way thinner than me Janis: the ulterior motive comes out Janis: don't smoke enough for that, or lung disease, tah Grace: you can get fucked up by his sexy smoke rings, babes Grace: but sure Janis: that's 2nd-hand Janis: it's worse 'cos all the co2 you breathe out Janis: smoking yourself, way safer Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Grace: I'll take it up then Janis: you'd have to get 'em off weird john Janis: no way you ain't getting ID'd Janis: any safety is dashed tbh, wouldn't bother if I were you Grace: excuse you literally have 19 year olds falling at my feet so Grace: well almost Janis: that like underage girls but sure Janis: probably ducked when he realised how virginal you ain't Grace: Yeah Grace: 2 years too late, sorry boy Janis: ick Janis: leave it out Grace: ????? Janis: that's too young Janis: it's depressing Grace: I know, I cried for like a week Janis: stop thinking about it now Janis: and chatting Janis: drive me to drink Grace: you can share this one Janis: alright, had enough earlier Janis: one of us should be vaguely sober Grace: did you sneak it into the fair while I was babysitting? Janis: ha Janis: after, went pub Grace: Oh okay Janis: did you think i was drunk Janis: was just a sugar high, like Grace: you left ASAP and I did when you got back Grace: literally wouldn't know Janis: did think it was a bit of a jump Grace: it's so rude that I can't get in anywhere & you can Janis: I'm tall Janis: and you've got a babyface Grace: like I said, so rude Janis: blame mum and dad Janis: neither of them brought it in the height department Grace: I blame avó, she's who I look like Grace: & she has that direct 🙏🙏🙏 line to god, obvs so Grace: she could have put in a word for me not to look like this Janis: get that you ain't meant to be a braggy cunt Janis: but bit of a slap in the face to call out one of his creations and say 'not again, thanks' Grace: 😂😂 Janis: also she'd give you a slap in the face for that one so let's hope she ain't in the kebab Grace: she'd wanna hit me for lots of things I do but Jesus loves a whore Grace: & she's never ate anywhere that isn't ours either Grace: doubly saved 🙌 Janis: 😏 Janis: not suggesting she's been out on the piss tbh Janis: it's late as hell and not midnight mass vibes, like Grace: if you're going that hard of the blood of christ, maybe just marry him tbh Janis: gutted she didn't Janis: probably can't dump your kid to be a nun though Janis: unfortunate for us all Grace: maybe I'll go become one Grace: can you vlog it? Janis: considering the vow of poverty, don't think you can show up with thousands worth of filming equipment, no Grace: tragic Janis: not even to mention all the others i think you'd struggle with Grace: well it's just mean if you don't tell me now Janis: come on then, I see you Janis: tell you all about it Grace: 👋 Grace: you look so pretty OMG Janis: let's not be texting and walking rn babe Grace: 👌👌👌

[punkscowardschampions]

Bea & Fraze

Bea: 👓 Fraze: ⛔ Bea: You'll get a right headache Fraze: Nah Fraze: Be more of one if I put 'em on 🤓 Bea: 🙄 Bea: be so 😎 when you don't pass this test Fraze: I ain't gonna either way Bea: Not with that attitude Bea: why not Fraze: Didn't study, like Fraze: too busy Bea: can't see, like Bea: such a bullshit excuse Fraze: Fuck off, I can see Bea: Alright well the squint doesn't look cute so you'll want to knock that on the head Fraze: Nobody's looking my way but you, babe Fraze: This ain't a paper to cheat off Bea: Better 🤞 they ain't Bea: since you're so concerned what they reckon, apparently Fraze: what are you on one for? Bea: you're distracting me with all your faces Bea: just put 'em on, idiot Fraze: You're distracting me with all this bullshit, that I'm reading easy, by the way Fraze: You know you're copycatting my Ma right now, yeah? That don't sound cute so you'll wanna knock it on the head even faster Bea: Not the same, your phones not even a foot from your face Fraze: And? Bea: 🤓 go sit up front Fraze: fuck that Bea: exactly Bea: what's the big deal anyway Fraze: you're the only one making a big deal out of it Fraze: like I said, Ma will be well proud Bea: whatever Bea: be like that then Fraze: Like what? Fed up that I'm getting a headache off you Fraze: Stop kicking off and get your own test done Bea: Bollocks Bea: you know why you've got a headache, even if you refuse to do anything about it Fraze: I ain't asking you to do anything about it except shut up Fraze: give it a shot if you wanna help, like Bea: you shut up Bea: go lie in a dark room Bea: that'll be cool Fraze: Miss ain't letting me go mid test, feeling fake sick is the oldest trick in the book Fraze: catch yourself on, she has Bea: it's not even fake Bea: you'll be seeing spots in a few Fraze: Who died and made you such a fucking expert? Bea: don't take a genius, babe Fraze: Shame, prime showing off opportunity slipping through your fingers there Bea: Get the chance when I ace this, won't I Fraze: 'Course Fraze: probably wanna concentrate then, yeah? Bea: what are you gonna do? Fraze: I reckon I'll text some girls who ain't you Bea: yeah, that's what I meant Bea: and that'll help Fraze: It won't hurt Fraze: Unlike the suggestions I'm ignoring from you Bea: Your funeral Bea: didn't you listen either Bea: if you don't get at least 50% you've got to come back and do it again at lunch Fraze: Me and Miss, it's a date Bea: enjoy Fraze: Cheers Bea: [slides him notes along the floor that's like everything from the board in as few words as possible 'cos that bitch] Bea: get it 'fore your mate does Fraze: [obvs takes he cos not gonna pass up that opportunity] Fraze: Why'd you bother? Bea: not like it took me long Fraze: Yeah but it ain't like you're gonna miss me that much at lunch Bea: Obviously Bea: idk does it matter Fraze: You tell me, you're the one being proper helpful today Bea: yeah don't say thanks or anything Fraze: Alright I won't Bea: 🙄 Fraze: You done already? Bea: yeah Fraze: fucking hell Bea: I ain't sending you the answers next Bea: before you even ask Fraze: Come on Bea: you ain't thick Bea: you can do it yourself Bea: and I wouldn't want to interrupt your lunchdate Fraze: Worth a try Bea: put half that effort in with your work Bea: mum enough for you? Fraze: 😂 Fraze: Yeah, you nailed it Bea: 👍 Bea: I'll take my bow Fraze: Let me get my 👓 on first, I'd be gutted to miss it, babe Bea: Funny Fraze: Nah but I'm trying to get this done, ain't I Bea: oh what, you'll be so much funnier when you're not busy Bea: sure 👌 Fraze: shut up Fraze: 'course I would Fraze: ask anyone in here, my rep precedes me Bea: maybe they've just got low-standards Fraze: Funny Bea: I'm done so Bea: got the time Fraze: not gonna clap for you like a proud Ma Bea: s'alright Bea: plenty will Bea: you focus Fraze: Let me then Fraze: Think about your 🌟s and head pat 🤓 Bea: like I care Fraze: Bullshit Fraze: I could be legit blind and still see how much you give a shit Bea: not about what anyone here thinks Bea: getting the grades to be where I wanna be, obviously Bea: what else is there, not gonna waste my time here when we've got to be Fraze: Never said it was for 'em, did I? Fraze: smarter than that, cheers Fraze: Even if this test don't show it Bea: I don't care what Miss reckons either Bea: and I said you weren't thick Bea: don't need to impress me Fraze: 'Cause Miss don't know fuck all and you're still the smartest person I know Fraze: I ain't trying to impress you, if you are, you are, babe Bea: Didn't say either way Fraze: whatever Bea: how you doing Fraze: give me the answers to the last couple and I'll be alright Bea: really Fraze: Why not? Fraze: what else you doing? Bea: you're such a pisstake Fraze: I'll be your best mate Bea: 😂 Bea: what an offer Fraze: told you I'm funny Bea: funny enough to be bezzies is another question Bea: hmm Fraze: You've got time to think it over, already heard that brag, like Fraze: can have more too if we fuck off after this Bea: yeah Bea: a valid point Bea: we've only got bullshit left today so Fraze: and I've got a headache Fraze: we both know what the best cure for that is Bea: 🍾? Fraze: Exactly Fraze: I got some hidden Bea: See? Bea: smarter than you look Fraze: You can just admit you're impressed now Bea: nah Bea: see how I feel after a few Fraze: there's 🚬 as well Bea: when did you get them Fraze: [throws her a smug look like 😏 IRL excuse him miss whoever] Bea: [looks back and pretends to be 😒 if the teacher looks but can't help but be a lil 😏] Bea: seriously where was I Fraze: [does an exaggerated stretch and puts his feet up on his desk to signal he's done cos pleasure to have in class] Fraze: dunno Bea: ugh Bea: how many have you saved me Fraze: loads Bea: awh Bea: cheers Fraze: What can I say? Great manners Bea: I'll tell your mum Bea: so proud 💘 Fraze: I'll take any good lad points I can get Bea: how many mates are you bringing for those points then? Fraze: For now you'll do Fraze: you really know how to stroke an ego, like Fraze: make a boy feel decent about himself Bea: not what mates are for Bea: you've been doing it wrong boys Fraze: 😂 Bea: I'll put a good word in for you with girls that ain't your ma Bea: how's that Fraze: I don't need your help Bea: sure Fraze: and what makes you reckon they'd listen to you? It'd put 'em off if anything Bea: why would it Bea: rude Fraze: just saying, not your mates, are they? Bea: doesn't matter Bea: everyone knows I'm smart Bea: regardless Fraze: book smart ain't people smart Fraze: they don't know you're that Bea: don't patronize me Fraze: don't be patronized when I ain't being Bea: yes, you are Bea: like I'm some stunted loser that can't speak to people Fraze: I'm saying none of 'em ever have a clue what's going on, that's it Bea: no shit Fraze: So get over yourself, it weren't about taking the piss out of you Bea: fuck off Bea: what was it about then Bea: telling me shit I already know Fraze: you fuck off Fraze: one rule for you, yeah? Bea: Asking where your fucking glasses are isn't patronizing Fraze: Treating me like a fucking kid is Bea: you act like one Fraze: fuck you Bea: seriously Bea: you can't see, just put them on, it's not hard Fraze: mind your own business, it's not hard Bea: fine Fraze: good Bea: bye then Fraze: Jesus, they're broken, alright Fraze: are you happy now? Bea: No Bea: how broken though? Fraze: am I fucking optician like? Bea: well is it the frame or the lens'? Bea: because we can fix the frame Fraze: If I put 'em on I'd look like the kitchen window after Joe took that wanky free kick and busted it but I said it was me Bea: Hmm Bea: okay, so you need to tell your ma and yeah she'll have a go about looking after your shit better but under 16s are free so it won't be massive drama Bea: until then we can steal one of those carbon copy pads from the art room, easy two sets of notes Fraze: That's actually a decent idea Fraze: first one you've had Fraze: almost reckoned you'd lost the knack, babe Bea: piss off Bea: you know I hadn't and how often I have them Fraze: don't make me actually laugh Bea: no laughing matter, boy Bea: you're such a 🃏 Fraze: [drumming the tune of ace of ♠s with his pencil on his desk so she can hear cos pleasure to have in class again ha] Bea: wow wanna start a band Bea: sure Joe will be in Fraze: 'Cause what he needs is more groupies Fraze: fuck that Bea: 😂 Bea: idk if he's there yet Bea: or they'd like that term Fraze: can we get out of here yet or what? Bea: Oh so you think we're cool again Bea: just 'cos I've solved all your problems Fraze: Come on, you know you wanna go Bea: Maybe Fraze: You don't wanna be stuck here, ain't no maybe about that, babe Bea: alright Bea: let's go Fraze: yeah Bea: can we 🚬 before we run Fraze: 'Course Fraze: who the fuck do you reckon you're asking, like? Bea: 😏 Bea: alright Bea: calm down Fraze: That ain't really me either, is it? 😏 Bea: 😱 are you saying I don't know you that well after-all? Fraze: you ain't got nothing to prove to me Bea: damn right Fraze: [let's say the bell goes so they can leave] Bea: [hit up that smoking spot lads] Fraze: [5ever a mood but don't get caught thank you] Bea: [don't need that today they'd be pros by now] Fraze: [when you're so little still but so grown oh my heart] Bea: [probably the youngest there awh] Fraze: [they so would be, little badasses that can hold their own and Bea is the smolest lil egg] Bea: [when you're cute so sketchy older boys always let you hang its just a thing] Fraze: [and when you could beat older lads in a fight and probably have] Bea: [#squad] Fraze: [gotta go get the booze from the hiding spot, probably buried Alaska style ha, none of the rest of y'all are invited bye] Bea: [toodles] Fraze: [where should we send 'em? playground or somewhere more secret so they won't get spotted?] Bea: [hmm probably be snekky] Fraze: [good plan] Bea: [I don't think Rocky has been born yet so they could attempt the house first lol] Fraze: [oh yeah good point let's send 'em there first and then they can always run if they think they hear someone should we want] Bea: [risque, they would, also not a huge walk] Fraze: [exactly dr phil] Bea: [okay so it is a bit cliche but in a good way I think, 'cos usually these moments are like you're for some reason close enough to kiss and then you just look at each other after a MomentTM and it's like welp, anyway, what if one of the 'rents does pop back for something so they have to get in a wardrobe sitch and hide 'til they gone?] Fraze: [omg yes because I call bullshit on adults/teens fitting in most wardrobes when peeps try and pull that shit but she's smol so believable] Bea: [he'll have to crouch but deal boy] Fraze: [love that for him haha] Bea: [even closer casually] Fraze: [when you're gonna have to get out and pretend none of it ever happened] Bea: [oh lads, good times] Fraze: [story of years of their lives literally] Bea: [soon children] Fraze: [Ali's cat should do something to almost lowkey give away their location since there's no dog yet, remember when Clove was throwing herself at the door lol] Bea: [heheheheh oh bluebs at least you will be ignored orrrr we could get 'em in trouble, means they wouldn't get chance to gloss over in person so we could do awks convo on messenger later] Fraze: [okay so he makes 'em go to work with him and to separate 'em for our own ends we could say Bea is counting stock in the back and he's cleaning up somewhere else idk pub stuff] Bea: [yes, that about sums it up, just in such bad moods lmao you could've been shame-walked into school] Fraze: [at least we can start 'em complaining] Bea: why have you got an easier job Fraze: how'd you reckon? Bea: there's 0 thought involved Bea: I may as well have stayed in school Fraze: there's loads of 💪 involved Fraze: wanna swap, like? Bea: 🙄 Bea: obviously not Bea: how would I manage Fraze: You're a girl, be fucked if you couldn't hack cleaning Bea: you're such a twat Fraze: Don't mean I'm wrong Bea: doesn't mean you're right either Bea: rude doesn't mean it's a harsh truth automatically Fraze: 'Course not but this one's bang on Fraze: Look at my Ma, spends her life picking up after us lot Bea: that's her choice Bea: don't have to be a mum Fraze: you don't wanna then? Bea: no Bea: why would you Bea: like you said, all she does is pick up after us Fraze: must be more to it than that or no fucker would bother Fraze: don't get nearly enough handouts to be in it for the cash Bea: nah don't be thick Bea: most are accidents Bea: or to fix the fuckups with the previous Fraze: Pretty obvious which I fall into, golden boy too Fraze: It don't need to be your turn to tell me shit I already know now, just 'cause you're bored Bea: not shattering any illusions Bea: but you asked so Fraze: I asked about you, not what the standard is around here Fraze: I ain't planning in following in any of these fuckers footsteps Fraze: or coming to 'em for childcare tips Bea: and you think I am? Bea: not one for the parenting books but could be worse I guess Fraze: you ain't talking about moving the goalposts, babe Fraze: why wouldn't you if you can do it better Fraze: goes for anything Bea: I can think of plenty of things I'd rather do Fraze: Me too but eventually I'll have done all them Bea: you gonna be one of those middle-aged dads running around after a toddler then Fraze: Be rude not to knock out a few with my supermodel missus before I run off with the hot nanny, like Fraze: give her something to remember me by and shit to do when the work dries up Bea: 😂 Fraze: what you laughing for, don't you reckon it's a good plan? Bea: I reckon you shouldn't repeat that to anyone else Fraze: alright but you should've said you were that desperate to have a secret with me 'cause I reckon I could've done loads better Bea: I'd hope so Bea: that's kid's stuff, like Fraze: you done treating me like one then? Bea: depends Fraze: on? Bea: you Bea: not acting like one Bea: obviously Fraze: I don't, obviously Bea: okay Fraze: come on, say it with feeling, babe Bea: Maybe when there's some proof Fraze: are you out later? Bea: are we allowed out later is the question Fraze: it's only the question if you're a little kid Fraze: I'm going, come with Bea: where? Fraze: you'll see if you ain't too scared of my Ma's wrath, like Bea: yeah right Fraze: I dunno, sounded like you were gonna pussy out there then Bea: I just don't like to waste my time Bea: nothing wrong with that Fraze: I don't waste your time Fraze: ain't ever Bea: didn't say you did Fraze: If I invite you out it's worth going and I did Bea: alright Bea: we can see Bea: not like homework is much to compete with Fraze: Cheers for ranking me above it, know how much of a swot you are Bea: shut up Fraze: Like to see you try and make me Fraze: just keep counting, babe Bea: easy Bea: you're clearly working hard enough to lecture me Fraze: Thought you might be missing Miss Bea: you're the one who wants her to be your first cliche Fraze: Nah, just 'cause she's missing me don't make it mutual Bea: 😏 Fraze: what can I say? Pleasure to have me in class is all hers Bea: definitely not the rest of ours, like Fraze: I'm well gutted I don't make your day Bea: Obviously Fraze: Yeah Bea: I'll survive Fraze: you and me both Bea: thank god Fraze: I told you there's no need to tell me shit I already know and how lost you'd be without me falls under that Bea: you reckon Fraze: Obviously Bea: Mm Bea: anyway Fraze: 😏 Bea: shame all these bottles can't go missing Fraze: but a few of 'em could Bea: you reckon Fraze: don't you reckon? Bea: I don't wanna fuck over your dad Bea: but I am doing stock so realistically Bea: one or two wouldn't be missed Fraze: one or two ain't gonna bankrupt him Fraze: it'll only matter to us Bea: okay Bea: I'll put them behind the bins, don't forget Fraze: I won't Bea: I ain't sharing with every fucker either Bea: make it last just me and you okay Fraze: 'Course Fraze: they ain't sticking their necks out, that's me and you Bea: right Bea: exactly Fraze: we'll ditch 'em easy Bea: always do Bea: though they're pretty persistent, give 'em that Fraze: Pleasure of your company, babe Bea: 'Course Bea: never mind if they get a sniff of booze or cigs Fraze: there's the secret you wanted then Bea: Yay Bea: let you off for telling me what I already know there as well Fraze: Playing nice for as long as the stolen goods last, yeah? Bea: I'm doing the actual stealing Bea: you gonna snitch? Bea: doubt that Fraze: fuck off Fraze: I ain't that cunt Bea: I know Bea: I'm saying, I don't need to play nice Fraze: You don't know how Fraze: It's why I'm miss' fave even though you get all the gold stars Bea: 😂 Bea: don't make me laugh Fraze: why not? Fraze: we ain't in that much trouble Bea: because I don't wanna Fraze: come on Bea: why? Fraze: why not? I asked that first Bea: Because I'll look insane Bea: in here on my own Bea: stocktake isn't the height of hilarity Fraze: stop before you get hysterical, like Bea: har dee ha Bea: you're never that funny, boy Fraze: You never get me in that good of a mood Bea: who does Fraze: I'll let you know when I meet 'em Bea: so sweet Fraze: shut up Bea: no, I mean it Bea: so adorable Bea: 💘 Fraze: and I mean it, shut up Bea: so sensitive Fraze: don't take the piss Bea: calm down Fraze: don't fucking tell me to calm down either Bea: jesus Bea: what's the issue Fraze: what's your issue? Bea: Nothing Bea: I'm fine Bea: you're being weird Fraze: You're being more of a bitch than standard Bea: Not really Bea: you're being more of a pussy Fraze: No I ain't Bea: sure Fraze: I'd be a pussy if I let you bullshit and didn't say fuck all Bea: What's your point here? Fraze: Why do I need one but you're a twat for the sake of? Bea: I ain't but whatever Bea: this has been boring for too long Fraze: Yeah, that shit we can agree on Bea: great Bea: happy days Fraze: what do you want? Bea: nothing from you Bea: I am going to see if I can go Bea: homework would be a better use of my time Fraze: He's a pushover, mention a deadline and he'll be convinced Bea: Yeah Bea: I've met him before Fraze: One of those involved, toddler chasing da's, like Bea: Not old though Bea: or a total cliche Fraze: Let him know, there's worse ways to point score Bea: tah Bea: I reckon I've got this Bea: you get in trouble much more than I ever do Fraze: see you later then Bea: TTFN Bea: I'm taking the bottles Fraze: whatever Fraze: they're yours Bea: I mean you don't need to try and get them in the car with your dad Fraze: like I was worried Bea: I'm not asking for a thanks, I'm just saying, they're gone Fraze: alright Bea: ✌ Fraze: Go do your homework 🤓 Bea: you as naive as your dad? Fraze: don't be stupid Bea: then don't take the piss Fraze: so sensitive Bea: so funny, you Fraze: I keep telling you Bea: Trust me, I know Bea: you've got more planned than talking tonight, yeah? Fraze: I ain't planning on doing any talking Bea: then I'm still in Fraze: you weren't ever out Bea: so sure Fraze: yeah Bea: well Bea: you know there's nothing better to do around here Fraze: obviously, I live here too Bea: 💔 Fraze: You sound it Bea: not as much as you Bea: gutted Fraze: Nah Bea: mhm Bea: 👑🍀 Fraze: Have a drink, it'll make you less of a wind up Bea: brave Bea: I could drink through your share Fraze: Like I said, its yours Fraze: I didn't do fuck all Bea: you would've if you could so Bea: only fair Bea: I didn't get the cigarettes or drink earlier did I Fraze: whatever Fraze: we didn't get to drink much earlier, barely counts Bea: need a better spot Bea: somewhere between home comforts and hiding from cops/nosey concerned citizens god knows where Fraze: I'll think of something Fraze: like you said, don't need my 🧠 for what my da's got me doing Bea: still more fun than double english, yeah? Fraze: Well yeah Fraze: 'course Bea: so no need to complain, like Fraze: I'm just saying, I'll sort it Fraze: no more interruptions Bea: no more wardrobes Fraze: don't need neckache and a headache, like Fraze: it ain't gonna keep me off school tomorrow Bea: have as much chance as growing pains Bea: no sympathy for your plight Fraze: they are fucked though Fraze: not that you'd know Bea: don't take your rage out on me Bea: you can reach the top shelf Bea: there are no perks to being small, lurch Fraze: 'course there are Fraze: you can get away with loads of shit Fraze: just 'cause you look cute Bea: well you fucked that from the off being born a boy Bea: no one would be calling you cute Bea: maybe your ma 💕 Fraze: 😂 Bea: 😏 Fraze: you home yet? Bea: yeah Bea: still a while before the others descend Fraze: give the cat a swift kick for us before they do Bea: I'm not committing animal abuse for you Bea: I won't feed it, because I'm certain it does not need it Fraze: shit partner in crime you are Bea: excuse you Bea: maybe we should go over the approved and not crimes, like Fraze: too late for that, ain't it Fraze: you know too much to just be replaced Bea: you're really gonna murder me to end it all Fraze: don't take the chance Fraze: behave better than that snitch of a cat Bea: 😒 Bea: you've got more chance 💀 me than telling me to 'behave' Fraze: lucky I don't want you to then Fraze: tonight'd be proper boring Bea: yeah? Fraze: yeah Bea: your friends ain't MY favourites but Bea: bit harsh from you Bea: they'll be 💔 Fraze: don't make me laugh Bea: come on Bea: why not Fraze: you got out, I'm still pissed at you Bea: no you are not Fraze: already aced one test today, fancy your odds? Bea: it's subjective Bea: no proving it either way Fraze: take me at my word that proves it Bea: but you're also saying you still wanna go out later so that contradicts it Fraze: I don't have to like you to have a drink with you Bea: but you do Fraze: don't flatter yourself Bea: fuck off Fraze: you first Bea: why are you bothered Bea: you don't mind being at the pub Bea: I know your dad ain't working you to the bone Fraze: Still don't compare to being home alone doing whatever you want Bea: don't worry, not like I've got time to throw a massive party Fraze: not like you would Bea: you don't know Fraze: bullshit Fraze: I know you Bea: obviously not Fraze: are you kidding yourself yet babe 'cause you ain't me Bea: you're such a dick Fraze: why are you bothered? Fraze: you don't need to impress me Bea: I'm not trying to Bea: I'm telling you how it is Bea: you're rude Fraze: to you 'cause you are to me Bea: oh yeah 😂 well special Bea: you're a delight to everyone else Fraze: unless there's a gun to your head, feel free to fuck off then Bea: I have Bea: be more mad about it Bea: not gonna be here when you're back, easy Fraze: What's your problem today? Fraze: you were alright earlier Bea: yeah well Fraze: What? Bea: forget about it Fraze: So you can avoid me, fuck that Bea: I don't appreciate being called a loser by you Fraze: I never said you were Bea: Bullshit Bea: you've been doing nothing but Fraze: Bullshit Bea: whatever Fraze: it's not Fraze: I ain't mates with no losers, you know Bea: well you don't like me do you Fraze: Don't be thick, it don't suit you Bea: Couldn't if I tried Bea: but thanks, that was ALMOST a backhanded compliment Fraze: Shut up, I just said I like you Bea: good Fraze: You gonna stop sulking now then? Bea: I am not sulking Bea: quit whilst you're even Fraze: Whatever Fraze: Are you gonna run off when I get back or not then? Bea: No Bea: dead giveaway, your dad ain't that much of a pushover Bea: your mum needs to see we're in before we ain't Fraze: so you are scared of her Fraze: knew it Bea: again, no Bea: idiot Bea: I'd just rather not get caught Fraze: we won't Fraze: she ain't caught me out doing anything for ages Bea: let's not get hyperbolic Bea: 🐈 managed it today so Fraze: yeah but if my Ma had been home she wouldn't have given a shit what the cat was doing Bea: maybe Fraze: come on, you know she'd have been in and out well before my da Bea: that has nothing to do with how clever you are Bea: or stealth Bea: so don't be cocky Fraze: never said that one did Fraze: I've got loads of other examples though Fraze: probably half of which you were there for Fraze: it ain't being cocky if you can back it up Bea: 😏 alright Bea: the others are back, Joe was on wrangling duty alone so he's in a good mood Fraze: always is Bea: yeah but you forgot, they had play rehearsal so he had to stick around for that joy 😬😂 Fraze: 😂 Bea: they're STILL singing Bea: even if I wanted to do homework Fraze: come walk with me, he's letting me off Bea: you need a chaperone too? Bea: okay Fraze: armed guard, like Fraze: that much of a troublemaker Bea: shh Bea: you're making me laugh and I don't want to encourage any of 'em Fraze: 🤐 Fraze: hurry up then Bea: alright alright Bea: lemme put my shoes on Fraze: you better I ain't carrying you home Bea: weakling Bea: I'm SO small, remember Fraze: it ain't 'cause I couldn't, princess Bea: well that's just mean Fraze: we've called a truce for now, like Fraze: don't mean I'm gonna play that nice Bea: however will I cope Bea: 🙄😏 Fraze: the booze will help Bea: your da recruited you for promotion? Fraze: would if he was smart Bea: trademark it Bea: not sure its an original concept but can work around that Fraze: 👍 Bea: be outside, I don't wanna hang about, like Fraze: alright princess, calm down Bea: k I'll get murdered Bea: you live with that Fraze: I'm not gonna let anything happen to you Fraze: don't be dramatic Bea: when the audience demands it Fraze: what? Bea: you're all about the dramatics, don't lie Fraze: you got my mates with you then? Bea: they didn't come knocking askinf if you could come out to play, no Bea: sorry Fraze: well there ain't any audience to worry about without 'em Fraze: I don't reckon you're that sorry Bea: I don't think you are either Bea: that's more of a story Fraze: if I wanted to piss about with 'em, I would Fraze: I picked you Fraze: end of story Bea: to me, yeah Fraze: I don't owe 'em fuck all Fraze: don't worry about it Bea: do my best Bea: bless 'em 💔 Fraze: you don't know how to do anything else Bea: thought we weren't playing nice Fraze: it weren't a compliment Fraze: sounds fucking knackering to me Bea: that's why I do it, not you Fraze: cheers for falling on that bullet, babe Bea: not for your sake or anyone's but you are welcome Fraze: I know it's for your own sake Fraze: I ain't that much of a div Bea: Good Bea: bit awkward if not Fraze: you ain't the only one who wants to get out Bea: I know Fraze: good Bea: not long now Bea: grand scheme of things Fraze: how'd you work that out? it's ages Fraze: can't believe Da had you counting Bea: Shut up 😂 Bea: so we're about half-way Bea: it's called optimism Fraze: halfway is only nearly done if you're half arsing it, babe Fraze: that's realism or whatever Bea: Stop being pedantic Bea: 🤓 Fraze: I dunno that one, like Bea: trust me, you do Fraze: come on, what's it mean 🤓? Bea: excessively concerned with minor details or rules; overscrupulous. Fraze: 😂 Fraze: you reckon I care about rules? Bea: when it suits you Fraze: I do everything to suit me, why wouldn't I? Bea: Exactly 😂 Fraze: What the fuck are you doing, any slower and you'd be dead Fraze: it ain't that long of a walk Bea: I didn't just drop everything to run, God Bea: I'm basically there Fraze: Legit or the same as how you reckon halfway is nearly done? Bea: 😑 Bea: I can turn around Fraze: don't though Bea: I won't Bea: don't like wasting time, yeah Fraze: I ain't forgotten Bea: Good Bea: [show up hoe] Fraze: [when you can't stop yourself from smiling when you see her though cos that's just how it is Bea: [gurl same even if that wardrobe situation was awkward we all know you're about it] Fraze: [passes her the 🚬 he's been smoking while he waits cos we know she ain't got any] Bea: [nudging his shoe with hers like tah when she takes it, also probably start walking 'cos a pub isn't an ideal place to chill outside of] Fraze: [strutting together but we all know they have to take a detour because fuck going straight home, should we say playground or shop?] Bea: [let's say playground] Fraze: [always here for that, on you go lads, get amongst those older kids you shouldn't be hanging with but are] Bea: ['how'd you break your glasses then?'] Fraze: [shrugs cos he never wants to talk about fights that don't go perfect for him obvs] Bea: [a slight eye roll but changing tact 'when even, then?'] Fraze: ['the other day' be more vague boyyy] Bea: ['when are you gonna drop it on your mum?'] Fraze: ['dunno, depends if Da grasses us up for earlier or not'] Bea: [nods like true life, you know he wouldn't lmao] Fraze: ['I'll tell her tonight if he keeps his mouth shut, like'] Bea: ['gonna bother making up a story or you just gonna ride out the nag?' be thinking 'we had PE today, could say they got broke then'] Fraze: ['see, this is why I picked you over those useless fuckers' nudges her as he says it] Bea: [😏 but genuine under it, nudging back 'could lob a ball in your face for extra realism, if you like'] Fraze: [😏 back but then a genuine little lol] Bea: ['take that as a no' as she's going through park gate] Fraze: ['take it as I ain't as sure of your aim as you are, babe'] Bea: [scoffs 'if that were true, you'd be happy to let me try, duh'] Fraze: ['Fuck that, I'm saying you'd go too far 'cause you've been waiting for the chance to hurt me, not that you'd miss'] Bea: [evil smile like damn you got me but shakes her head and heads for an available swing] Fraze: [gives her a look like yeah I keep saying I know you and throws someone off a swing so he can have the one next to her #truelove] Bea: [we all love a swing moment] Fraze: [soz random kid but she ain't your bae] Bea: [at least it won't be an actual kid this time of day lol, should be wearing school skirt for that moment of letting it fly but not showing your knickers, aka a dangerous game] Fraze: [yassss] Bea: [casual see how high you can go contest always] Fraze: [we should let her win cos he'd hate that but also be impressed af obvs] Bea: [heheheheh] Fraze: [he can jump off further though that'll please him] Bea: [yeah you don't need to be doing that in whatever lowkey heels you tryna wear to school bitch] Fraze: [don't hurt yourself bab] Bea: [there should be dickhead teens doing something dickheadish 'cos always] Fraze: [100%] Bea: [they'll have to walk away anyway 'cos not sharing their spoils so byebye] Fraze: [run babies run, take her sleeve and go boy] Bea: [that backpack be rattling a girl came out prepared] Fraze: [boy gotta offer to carry that cos gentlemanly you know] Bea: ['I managed this far, like' but gives it him anyway 'cos you may as well honey] Fraze: [gives her a look like yeah that's the point it's my turn now cos you've done your share] Bea: [gives him a look like cute] Fraze: [gives her a look like shut up] Bea: [lil lol] Fraze: [another genuine smile cos happy to be with the bae] Bea: [just talking about whatever shennanigans he missed at home] Fraze: [and he's filling her in about shit she missed at the pub it's like honey how was your day lol] Bea: [god bless 'em] Fraze: [when they are already a better couple than drow] Bea: [at least that's a ways away for everyone rn 'cos no one is less here for it than Bea] Fraze: [thank god ro and ali are living their best spooky kid lives rn] Bea: [they might be about to get separated tho? like soz] Fraze: [not yet I don't think cos it's when they 11ish and we said Rocky ain't born yet here but soon lads] Bea: [a few years then, defs living your best lives] Fraze: [we also need to think of a place for them to hang out like the hideaway way back when lol but more legit] Bea: [yes, like an allotment or a dump/wasteland moment, something not yours but shelter is there] Fraze: [that's 100% the vibe I was thinking too] Bea: [unless I can think of anything more specific we should go with that, I know in certain spots 'round here cars get stolen and left a lot so they could probs chill in them as and when they're found] Fraze: [oooh that's such a mood] Bea: [contaminate a crime scene honey] Fraze: [lol crack on kids, you know he's gonna open the door for her like a gentleman bye] Bea: [just giving him a look that's like amused like she's so over it and he's silly but also like oh and a LOOK 'cos we know] Fraze: [shamelessly giving her a LOOK back cos when has he ever given a fuck everyone knows he's in love with her at this point] Bea: [checking all the compartments in case they missed any good loot but probably not, maybe there's a lighter though] Fraze: [I approve wholeheartedly cos they'd be buzzing] Bea: [such sweet babies] Fraze: [I just keep screaming inside cos they're so young but crack that bottle open boy] Bea: [I hope you took something paletable girl] Fraze: [we know she knows her shit thanks creepy old dudes of the past] Bea: [truly, and can handle it so no embarrassing moments on that score] Fraze: [literally she'd be better than him on it but his pride and need to keep up would stop him from being cringe either] Bea: [you got this boy, she wouldn't let him get schwasted anyway lbr] Fraze: [not when you've gotta go home and tell Tess about your glasses boy] Bea: [exactly so they won't be knocking it back hardcore just taking that edge off sweaty] Fraze: [it's always one of those days for you two, we get it] Bea: [especially when you had a moment in the wardrobe lol] Fraze: [we all know he hasn't stopped thinking about it since it happened, god bless] Bea: [we should do a drinking game like best day/worst day but not that 'cos he knows lmao but like your funniest mem etc] Fraze: [it can just be happy ones we don't need to hurt ourselves] Bea: [keep it light lol] Fraze: [but don't think about how close him and Joe used to be and all those cute mems] Bea: [exactly it'd still get feelsy and emosh 'cos life they've been living but it isn't like let's go deep into the trauma] Fraze: [#bondingmoment cos you obvs aren't close enough you two] Bea: [its coming boys] Fraze: [imagine the texts from his friends that he's shamelessly ignoring rn] Bea: [boys are so highkey for the squad at that age] Fraze: [and you know he's #leaderofthepack of his school mates that are similar age to him so] Bea: [exactly dr phil] Fraze: [can we do another moment or is that flying too close to the sun?] Bea: [we absolutely can they obvs happen a lot] Fraze: [realistically who do you reckon should instigate it cos might be relevant in the aftermath] Bea: [hmm literally either or not to be annoying about it lol] Fraze: [maybe she should cos then she can also stop herself cos remember those younger years and he can be like wtf] Bea: [solid logic I'm wid it] Fraze: [bonus points if she stops herself before anything's really happened at all cos that bitch like its v subtle and other peeps might miss the cue but he be knowing cos he's that bitch] Bea: [yes absolutely hence you'd feel more awks bringing it up 'cos you could just gaslight him like what are you chatting about lol] Fraze: [literally cos you know that would've happened before on both sides] Bea: [mhmm, bonus of 'we were drunk' when you ain't even] Fraze: [you both know neither of you are even tipsy lads shut up but don't because so real]