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blue-writes-things · 3 years

Text

Like the Back of My Hand

Remus Lupin x Reader | Fluff (and angst if you squint)

“Why were you out in the forest? You’re not trying to prank me are you?” “What? Never! We’ve given up trying to prank you, you always see them coming!”

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Words: 2256 A/N: Bold is other people's thoughts (will make sense in the fic), also I’m not used to this weird post formatte thing [tumblr] has going on so I’m sorry about the strange paragraphing

Warning: Some swearing, very mild spice at the end, just kissing tho and angst some if you squint

Feedback is always appreciated! - Blue

Sometimes it was hard to walk around Hogwarts, with the mix of the verble talk, and the internal thoughts you could hear. When you're tired it’s even worse, like how you can’t concentrate on anything right now. You were a mix of hyper aware and completely unaware of everything around you.

Like how you have no clue what Remus is saying as he walks right next to you, but you know what that first year is hoping you’re having for dinner, and how she hates the girl she’s talking to.

You snap back to reality when Remus touches your shoulder, making you jump slightly, “You ok y/n? You’ve been really spacey all day” His eyebrows are frowned with a tight line of a concerned smile on his lips

“Oh yeah, I’m all good, just sleepy” You smile reassuring him, he didn’t believe you one bit but thought better to push it right now.

“I’m good, I promise!” Saying you were ‘fine’ or ‘ok’ told Remus you weren't ‘fine’ or ‘ok’ and in honesty, you were good, and you were sleepy, but you were also anxious, and overwhelmed. But he didn’t need to know that.

You looped your arm with his and continued to walk to the library together, the full moon was this Sunday, and you knew he liked to be with you when it was close, something about how calming you are, and how you always seem to know what to say to make him feel better around a moon.

He didn’t know how you knew what to do to help him leading up to and after a full, you treated him slightly different, never pushed him too much, but still made him rest more and remember to take care of himself. He had a tendency to forget about his general health and wellbeing around moons.

It seemed like Moony was also calmer around you. The day of the moon when the wolf was right under his skin, iching to get out. When his patience was running thin and he was snappy at people. When the wolf would cloud his mind during the day more. When he would almost growl at people (or the time he almost bit Peter for being so annoying)

You knew just what to say to get him to settle, often whispering things like “Just a little longer, wait a little longer for me” in his ear almost like you were talking to the wolf directly, he would give an almost unnoticeable nod and would settle.

It was only after a bit when Remus registered what you had said he would ask you about it; “What was it that you said earlier? About waiting a little longer?” “I don’t know what your talking about Rem”

He was a tad worried you knew about him being a werewolf, he hasn’t told you as he’s scared you will reject him and be scared of him.

Yet that was the last thing you would do, he meant way too much to you to let something like that push you apart. Plus, how can you judge someone for being ‘different’ when you were yourself?

The other marauders had been helping Remus think of some way to tell you about the wolf, Remus had been crushing on you for a while now, as long as you’d been crushing on him, so before anything could happen he wanted to tell you ‘So you could run if you wanted to’

You knew they’d made a plan but you didn’t know what it was. It was strangely refreshing to not be aware of everything going on.

“So uh, if you’re up to it, er me and the guys found this place in the forest awhile ago” During a moon “and I was wondering if you’d like to see it? It’s just really pretty and I think you’d like it...No pressure though! If you don’t want to it’s fine”

“I’d love to Remi” You smile as you two reached the library.

“Does tomorrow work for you?” “Perfect”

You originally went to the library to study, which you did, just not a lot. You ended up lying on the floor near one of the windows up the back, in the orange warmth of the sunset.

Remus’ head was in your lap, he had grabbed his favorite book from his bag, one you had given him for christmas in third year.

“Haven't you read that like a hundred times now?” You laugh and Remus smiled god I love her laugh. You didn’t try too hard to hide your blush. “It’s my favourite”

“Why’s that?” “Cause the main character reminds me of my favourite person” Cause the main character reminds me of you

“You’re so cute Remus Lupin” you say with a soft smile, scratching your fingers into a particular spot in his hair making him let out a happily content sigh.

***

That night you slept better than you thought you would.

You normally don’t sleep well, as you can hear your roommates (and sometimes the people sharing your wall) dreams which was very distracting when you're trying to shut off to sleep, but you were also very excited for the next day.

Having something be a mystery to you was new and for some reason made you giddy, see when you can read minds (even though you can’t control it and hate it) nothing is new to you, nothing is surprising.

Probably the worst is that you know what people think of you, you know when people are talking about you, how they think you're weird cause you’re always staring off into space, always seem bored, when you do tests you have to go to another room. Only a few staff members know about your little ability and don’t want you to cheat, even though you can’t help it.

***

You and Remus met up after breakfast, glad it was saturday so you could spend a lot of time together. As you walked together to the forest to the supposedly beautiful place, you joked and talked, being in the forest meant that you could only hear Remus, not first years talking shit about other people, just the sweet sounds of the forest and Remus’ voice.

“How long till we get there, my feet are dying” You jokingly pout making Remus chuckle “Not to far now, you really need to get your stamina up”

You roll your eyes and lightly shove him, quick react! he stumbled slightly, as the full moon was tomorrow he was almost rock solid and had to pretend that it made him stumble as it would any other day.

He steers you to a left turn “Ta da!” he smiles, it really was beautiful, a crystal clear pond with flowers all around, the trees were slightly denser and closer together, making it like a little pocket out of time

“Wow, Remi, this is really beautiful!” You gush with a bright smile. Best.Surprise.Ever.

“I’m glad you like it! Me and the guys found it last month” Ok, time to tell her, you can do this Remus “Why were you out in the forest? You’re not trying to prank me are you?” You playfully glare at him

“What? Never! We’ve given up trying to prank you, you always see them coming!” he plops to the ground, his legs straight out in front of him, leaning back on his hands.

You move and sit next to him leaning your head onto his shoulder, watching a stag drink from the pond ‘Hi James’ you think to yourself

“So um, the reason we were out here was…” He tails off taking a deep breath. Come on Remus just spit it out already you just wait patiently, knowing this is hard for him, telling people your biggest secret is a terrifying thing to do. “We were out here because, I’m a werewolf and they help me on full moons, to make sure I don’t kill anyone”

He tenses next to you, not looking at you as you lift your head off his shoulder Oh merlin she thinks I’m a monster this was a mistake but you don’t run away like he thought you would, you turn slightly and wrap your arms around his neck hugging him.

His eyes went wider for a moment before pulling you closer, wrapping his arms around your waist, burying his face into your shoulder and letting out slight sobs. But you just hold him rocking slightly and playing with his soft curls.

Even though Remus was literally crying, the air was so calm and still, the stag had bounded off somewhere ‘See you later, James’ he must have just been there to make sure nothing happened to Remus but now was ok giving us some space.

After a while his sobs stopped shaking his shoulders. “Thank you for telling me Remi” you say softly with a gentle smile, he pulls back from your shoulder to look into your eyes.

“Y-you’re not scared of me?” “I could never been scared of you, I couldn’t give a flying fruit flavored fuck that you’re a werewolf, cause you’re still my Remus” I’m her Remus, I’m still the same person to her

Remus gave a small yet delighted smile “Can I tell you another secret?” “I’d be offended if you didn’t tell me” you both smile

“I’ve fancied you since like third year” his cheeks started heating up, giving them a light tinge of pink

“Ok, my turn to share a secret?” He nodded, he could tell where it was going “I’ve liked you since third year too”

You both were smiling like goofs before he tackle hugged you, making you both fall back to the floor giggling and looking into each others eyes I wanna kiss her so bad right now

“Can I share one more secret? You have to know before anything else happens” Your smile fell slightly, Remus frowned “You can tell me anything, I’d be offended if you didn’t tell me” he echos your words, Considering I just told you I was a werewolf I doubt that it’s as bad

“Ok so, I can read minds” you cringed slightly, Remus just blinked a few times “I can’t control it, it’s just I can always hear what’s going on around me, every thought and feeling”

“S-so you knew? About me being a werewolf?” Remus moved off you sitting up ‘what have I done’ you just nod looking down, too ashamed to even look at his face “Did you know that I was taking you here?”

You take a deep breath “Being here has been the most amazing thing to happen to me in a long time, cause I had no clue that you were taking me here, it was quite exciting really” You give a small sad smile

“But I guess I ruined it all haven't I? This is why I don’t tell people cause they get freaked out, but in all honesty, I hate it! I hate knowing what people think and say about me, I hate knowing when a prank is coming” You take a deep breath.

“I hate that I’ve made you hate me” a single tear falls down your cheek

“Who says I hate you? I think your mind reading might be a little off because I don’t hate you” You finally look over to him

“You don’t?”

“No! I mean I’m not going to lie it’s a little scary to know you’ve known that I’ve had a crush on you, and the whole werewolf thing, but I actually think it’s kinda cool” He smiles, you smile back wiping your tears with the heel of your palm.

“Wait, is that why you always know what to say and do around moons!” he says with a shocked smile, you laugh a little and nod “Oh thank the founders! I thought someone had told you! Can I just say that you help so much around moons when the lil’ shit is being aggravating!”

You laugh with him, someone being almost excited that you’ve read their mind was new and refreshing,

“Whoa, everything makes so much sense now” He smiles at you, at genuin toothy grin that you can’t help returning, you end up giving into temptation and lean forward giving him a quick kiss on the cheek, making his cheeks go red.

“You’re so cute when you blush” you tease, he scrunches up his nose a bit before tackling you again, cageing you between his arms, he looks into your eyes I wonder how she looks when she blushes.

You raise an eyebrow at him “Have you already forgotten what I just told you” he just jokingly glares at you, a slight mischievous look in his eyes before leaning down and placing kisses all over your face as you giggle “Remi, sto-o-op”

“Alright, but can I kiss you here?” he takes one hand and touches your lips, now it’s your turn to blush

“Yes, please” Moving his hand away he leans down and gives you a very quick kiss to your lips

“Again?” you pout slightly, he smirks “You’re adorable” he kisses you again, this time not pulling away.

Bonus:

Sirius and James are standing behind a tree smirking at their ‘shy’ friend being a smug tease “We’re so good” Sirius whispers high fiving James

You pull away from Remus for a moment, calling out to them “I can hear you!” the two animagi’s eyes widen while you and Remus just laugh before he kisses you again.

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