#if it helps you could consider me venting in the tags as just. coincidentally there! ignorable to your hearts content :)

[the-one-and-only-bibliography]

wailing like a fax machine thats slightly broken such that it whines with even more pain and suffering than normal

#biblio babbles #uuughhhhh........ romantic attraction (derogatory) #im surprised we're still friends even. i have done so many bad ideas #and no i cant just confess because 1. incompatible orientation (<- the truth of my statement here is debatable but you get the idea) #and therefore 2. i do not want to risk ruining the friendship. i really REALLY do not want to risk ruining the friendship #i know even vagueposting about this is a bad idea #but im so desperate. i dont know how long i can fucking take this #on the bright side. im now fully consciously aware of my Sins™ and am actively attempting to minimize the impact my attraction has #shit sucks though. #oh yeah by the way ill post some content soon lmao. hopefully #also feel free to reblog lmao; the post text is made to be reblogged #if it helps you could consider me venting in the tags as just. coincidentally there! ignorable to your hearts content :)

[love-advice-on-call]

TW terminal Illness

I don’t know if i want to vent or if I really need to cut this guy out of my life. I dated my coworker for about 2 months but broke up because he was projecting mistrust built by a previous relationship and I didn’t feel that he or I were ready emotionally to take on those traumas.

Because of the stress of the breakup he found out he has an illness that could kill him. im the only one he knows that’s within the state we live in so I offered to stay in contact. It’s also so that we don’t make things too awkward at work.

My problem is anything I do sets him off. I get mad at him for making snide remarks and ignore him for an hour because he won’t listen to me and he then told me he’s going to the hospital because he didn’t follow the doctors orders on purpose “because he was having feelings”.

A big part of his illness he says it causes him to think irrationally, but the timing of these things is always so coincidental that i feel like he’s doing it on purpose. I want to help him but at what point to I just say enough is enough? Is this a boy who cried wolf situation or am i doing more harm than good by staying in contact?

"doing more harm than good" I think is an interesting way to put it, but I think that this may be the case. I do think that staying in contact with a person like this might not be the best idea. Like I get you care and he has no support network locally and the whole work situation, but that doesn't mean you should be his sole support and that his illness should be dragging you down, especially considering that he's being mean to you. If you stopped just talking to him, do you think it would really affect your work that much? It already sounds like he's making it hard for the both of you to exist in a workspace.

What I can tell you is that it does sound like your break up is starting to be disruptive even at your work place which isn't a good thing and I'd say a big motivator for you right now should be getting a better hold on the boundaries for this relationship. Otherwise you might start having to look for a new job.

I'm also hearing this guy blaming a lot of his actions on his illness, but there is a difference between having an illness and just being a plain dick. It's true some mental disorders/illnesses (like borderline personality) do give the traits of an asshole, but at the core, you just simply can't be aware that you have this and go "ohh well looks like I have an excuse now to be a horrible person now". People can recognize their illness and work towards being a better person. The fact that this guy is aware and doesn't even want to work with the hospital on his illness just goes to show that he's not interested in improving the space around him.

My recommendation is that yeah I know you want to help him, but this is a tough situation. You work together, but I think you should look out more for you. Set a hard boundary with this guy that you two should probably only interact in a professional setting. You can let him know that it doesn't seem like you two are getting along that well anymore so at least he knows that his behavior is being inappropriate and why you two can't talk anymore.

If you really want to help him, then the best thing I think you can do is let him know that he should follow up with his doctors and get into therapy. He'll probably be really upset at that, but that's what it takes to get better. If he doesn't like that, then he doesn't like himself, but that's not your burden.

Posted January 7, 2023

PS thanks for tagging the TW! It helps me and the readers a lot!

#advice #love advice #relationship help #relationships #relationship advice

[cavern-of-bells]

♥ TAGGED - RANDOMIZE MY LIFE! (SLBP VERSION)

Rules: Pick 15 people and randomize them here. Make a new post and fill in each section with the number corresponding to your results. Feel free to tag anyone!

Woo! This was fun! (although my first attempt had me spending seven minutes in heaven with the magistrate 😧)

I was tagged by @dear-mrs-otome and would like to see @tentori21 @yoolee @otome-microwave and @slbp-owns-ayame give this a go!

1. Mom or Dad: Katsuie- Did I hit the jackpot for this category or what? Katsuie would be THE BEST dad. Sure, he can be a bit embarrassing when he starts wailing about how proud he is, but could you even ask for a parent who is more supportive, protective, and easygoing? He’s hard to beat.

02. Sibling: Yasumasa-…and in the sibling category I’ve drawn the short straw. Yasumasa is the WORST sibling I could ask for. He’s one to constantly screwing you over, purposefully humiliating you , and ratting you out. Luckily I’m far more clever and conniving than he is, making it no difficult feat to outsmart him or exact revenge.

03. Grandma or Grandpa: Keiji- Oh, man. Grandpa Keiji gets away with EVERYTHING. He’s committed all kinds of petty crimes and people just let him off the hook because they pity the old man, clearly confused and suffering from dementia. Of course, family knows he has always been like that.

04. Haunts you: Kotaro- Well, not so much “haunting” as it is “stalking” – I just don’t have it in me to be mean to this poor, broken boy. Likely sparked from simple politeness or offering him assistance with something, possibly offering to partner up in a group activity when he was being avoided by everyone else. I was probably the only person to show up to his birthday party (or equivalent event) because I felt so sorry for him. This escalated to being unable to escape conversations at work, to “coincidentally” encountering him every time I left the house. He was mostly a harmless, lonely guy but had to be stopped when he ended up attacking an electrician (thinking he was an intruder).

05. Boyfriend or girlfriend: Shigezane- J-j-j-jackpot again! Pretty much everything I look for in an SO. Funny, attentive, and oh-so-sweet; sad-clown-trope characters are my jam. Perhaps slightly too needy for my taste, but I’m happy to spoil a SO every now and then…

06. Your ex: Kaegie- Probably not actually an ex, more likely a friend that people misunderstood as being in a romantic relationship due to the fact that almost every time we hang out, it ends up with someone finding us napping together in a strange place. (But it’s only because we know the best places to nap!)

07. Your best friend: Yoshichi- alright, I’m cool with this. Yoshichi is outgoing and easygoing enough to go along with the things I wanna do (and divert attention away from me when out), and gullible enough to have fun teasing. Plus he’s just an overall nice dude– BFF material for sure!

08. Proposed: Tadakatsu- Well, has likely had a crush on me since childhood, considering I was Helga Pataki incarnate up through high school. I can easily imagine him following me around and asking me out at every opportunity, only to be turned down with snarky insults each time. Peers would ask “Why don’t you give him a chance? He’s a great guy!” but that would only be because they didn’t know. They didn’t know what he was like! (Of course, current me would jump at the chance to jump his bones.)

09. Your boss: The Magistrate- HELLO sexual harassment lawsuits! The magistrate as your boss is every bit as skeevy as you would imagine– constantly leering and making not-so-subtle “offers” to help you get the promotion you’ve been after.

10. A random person you meet at a bar: Kansuke-Frankly, he is surprised I notice him in a bar at all, but that may be due to the fact that I am also one quiet, stealthy mofo. We make friends and spend the rest of the evening struggling to catch the bartender’s attention.

11. Your rival: Hotaru- I’m not really sure what exactly could make him my rival unless there is a competition for getting lost.

12. Gave you your first kiss: Toramatsu- Not really my type, but I can easily see a kiss going down as part of a school play/performance-type thing. People expected us to start dating afterwards, but neither of us really liked each other that way. But that doesn’t mean we wouldn’t be blushing messes around one another for the rest of the year.

13. Drunk and singing karaoke with: Kanetsugu- HELL YES, LET ME HELP THIS POOR, OVERWORKED SOUL LET OFF SOME STEAM. We spend every Friday after work belting out the angriest tracks available in order to vent our frustrations with work.

14. Played seven minutes in heaven with: Nobuyuki- Not gonna lie, neither dominant nor yandere characters are my type, but I have NO complaints spending seven minutes in a closet with this guy. Both of us are skilled in the ways of the bedroom and can easily keep a secret, it would not be an unexpected development to have sneaked off and continued elsewhere afterwards.

15. Gave you your favorite dessert: Kagetsugu- Yeaaahh, um… I really appreciate the gesture, but I’m gonna have to pass on the kusa-mochi. I’m on a strict toxic-waste-free diet.

#slbp #side characters yo