#if i eat anything else today

[christakisbang]

#my baby my love my everything i hope u have a day as wonderful and sweet and lovely as u are #stray kids #bang chan #bang chan gifs #stray kids gifs #skz #skz gifs #my gifs #cbbc2023 #ah. not to get sappy in the tags since im already using all my characters to get sappy in his bubble but. hm. he's very very very important #to me. kind of like. extremely special. #just. im so bad with words but idk if id be here without him and if i was id be deeply deeply unhappy? so im always gonna be grateful to hi #and his music and his company and his care #he's just so kind and sweet and deeply deeply caring and i know birthdays aren't special to him but i hope he gets to eat good food today #and spend time with people he loves & who love him in return and just has heaps of fun. today and every day i just hope he's happy #if he's half as happy as he makes me on the daily then i never have to wish for anything else #um. anw. silly little post for his day that did not warrant all that gut spilling. happy birthday my guy of all time. i love you

[bagely]

I stay here. there is no more I stay here.

#deathduo #I can't think of anything else #I died here. #qsmp missa #pissa nation we eat great today

[stealingyourbones]

Spent so much time making sushi for dinner and was so excited to have a funky little sushi roll and eat it like a burrito but then my nori ripped apart mid roll and I had to eat it as a salad and apparently my brain doesn’t like the texture of imitation crab + seaweed and rice rn :(

#bones speaks #bones rants #sad :( #imma put in fridge for twin but man now I gotta make something else for dinner because I haven’t eaten anything else today #and only had like 300 calories worth of food yesterday. getting used to not feeling hungry with- #-​consistent adderall use has been kickin my ass lately. #sorry I like never rant on here but I’m so sad I was so excited for sushi and then Texture Bad :((((( #i even put avocado n carrot and salted cucumber ;-; this took so long to make and now I can’t eat it #a tragedy of the highest order #fuck it imma make me some chicken and just season the everloving shit out of it #i may be white but I know how to cook flavorful food and by god am I not gonna eat chicken with just salt. lack of spoons be damned

[sourtomatola]

Eclipse being a sassy mf

#Guy's please I'm not okay #todays episode it just #I think it broke me a little ngl #tsams eclipse #tsams spoiler #sams eclipse #sams spoilers #just #I had ot relisten to it a couple times cause just #art #my art #fnaf eclipse #the VA's had NO mercy today #I love voices and they just #went and make that canon dialogue #I'm not okay #HHHHHHGGGGGGGNNNNN #Sexy liquorice man #I was eating liquorice when watching the episode and #man I don't want anything else in the world right now #I'm going to think of him every time I eat it now

[todayisafridaynight]

spiritual sequel to this for our favorite local goober My Friend

#rgg #ryu ga gotoku #ryu ga gotoku 7 #yakuza series #yakuza 7 #yakuza like a dragon #arasawa #jo sawashiro #masumi arakawa #snap sketches #lord in heaven knows i dont remember how to draw action lines bruh we gotta get on that #i had to do this so i could share the fact this comic exists cause as my friend was leaving she was like 'are you doing anything else today #and when i told her i was prob gonna draw or w/e she was just 'wait do you have any more comic ideas cause...' and then shared This #and i was especially inspired to finish this because she remembered arakawa's name for once but- not remembering who jo was- #was just like 'like you could draw arakawa and his lover- like that guy you draw him with' LIKE HELP? ??? #yeah we can call him his lover why not. had me cackling when i shut the door #ok i have comms to do this morning. but i should eat first LMAO bye team

[guinevereslancelot]

most fucked up thing about the body's response to not eating is when you're so hungry you feel like you're gonna throw up. this does not make it easier to eat food actually

#literally thanks it did not help #my body sucks so bad at eating #i literally am not hungry until im so hungry i feel sick?? #also #even when i remember to eat on a schedule all food makes me queasy i literally cannot win #maybe the so hungry im about to puke thing is just a me problem idk but it is NOT helpful #im also starting a medication that i cant eat anything for two hours before or after that's going to mess up my digestion today 😊 #and make me feel awful #but its an alternative to eye surgery so hopefully it will be worth it #but i havent even started it yet and im so queasy just bc i didnt really eat breakfast #its not like i had Nothing i had three bites of cheerios and a coffee.... #i would have eaten the cheerios but i was late for an appointment lol #anyway #my digestion sucks and i already cut out gluten and almost all dairy 😤 #wtf else is thereee #also somehow magically even tho all food makes me sick and i barely eat regular meals i am putting on weight??? #lowkey wondering if im diabetic or something bc this is not normallll

[silenthillbunni]

.

#1st ​my sister was passive aggressive bc i was boiling pasta when she wanted to make her dinner #so she slammed stuff nd chopped veggies aggressively #nd i felt my heart rate spike nd my body go tense nd i always get clumsy nd drop things nd hurt myself when i get that way #but they think i deserve feeling awful bc of mistakes in the past so i cant ask them to stop #i've been walking around w lots of heavy things nd im barely keeping it together #nd i got so mad bc she wouldnt stop so i started slamming the cabinets nd then left when i was done #then my mom nd other sister got home nd i just wanted to ask my mom smth #when i open my door my other sister goes 'omfg already?' #'immediately when we get home i never get a break. it's almost disgusting' #i just got so.. i realized how pathetic nd childish i am so i just went into my room #but then apparently my sister said to mom that *i* was the only one being passive aggressive #so she comes in to talk when i was having my dinner so i said that i plz just wnna eat my dinner #she didnt know nd she's never cared but i wanted to hurt myself so badly i was struggling not to #but then she started screaming at me for being childish nd passive aggressive nd that i never do anything #she left my room. she still talks to my sisters so i know it's onlg me shes sick of #idk.. today is bad bc i cant talk to her nd i dont have ANYONE else to talk to im all alone #and now i barely even wanna go outside my room bc apparently my family thinks i wnna mess w them just for going to the bathroom lmao #i hate myself so much. im so pathetic. im 25yrs old living at home being a burden #nd im just a pathetic nd childish person. i 'need' to talk nd vent nd rant nd #like if i buy some things i have these need to like do a mini haul or if i get books from the library #i wnna show my mom what books i got #it's so childish. i do feel bad for my mom to have to deal w me nd my annoying personality #why cant i jusy be normal. no wonder why i can never keep friends or my family doesnt wnna talk to me. everything abt me fkn sucks #anyway im just feeling so bad and so alone bc my moms mad at me so now i have no one to talk to

[du-hjarta-skulblaka]

So yeah avoiding my phone didn't work and also meant I sat on the kitchen floor staring into space for about 3 hours before Alfie woke up but hey at least I didn't break anything

Them being around is helping a little but they're also struggling and it fuckin sucks bc I know we're both just. Rotating money stress in our minds

#like. i went out earlier to get bread #just bread bc we cant afford anything else #got just enough in the bank to cover the work thing but since management stjll hasnt gotten back to me on HOW to pay it its like #our electricity is already in debt lol it has a thing where you can go £10 into debt before it switches off #and it usually wont switch off over weekends #presumably bc all but 1 places nearby thst we can top it up at are shut on weekends but anyway #so we're like. okay. it MIGHT last today and if it does thst SHOULD mean itll last till monday. #but then itll be at least a tenner in debt #then we only have to last till thursday but its. do we keep this money thats for The Thing that is once again unclear on how urgent it is #or do we spend it on the Soon To Be Immdiately Urgent thing #and thats not even CONSIDERING food lmao we. i got 2 loaves of bread so we can at least survive on toast for a few days #we got 3 maybe 4 meals worth of stuff still in the kitchen #like...at this point i dont even care if i have to go a few days without eating at all to make it to thursday but its. #its so fucked up those are the terms im thinking in #and this isnt asking for more donations i really cannot take that today im at the fuckin bottom of my barrel #and already feel hopeless and useless and an active drain to everything around me #but its. like. how. why. why is it still like this. why is it looking extremely unlikely its ever gonna change. #whats the point if its all for a few scattered handful hours of actual peace and comfort never mind happiness #tldr yes i am once again suicidal but small s #like in the sense of i would feel immense relief if a truck came at me on my way to work tomorrow and would not step out of the way but #dont have it in me to actually consciously act upon

[front-facing-pokemon]

#okay i did not have to edit this one. score #shiftry #anyway i really don't like this pokémon or anything about it. SORRY but it's true it's really ugly and its mouth and the nose #and it has the same things i don't like about it that i talked about with nuzleaf. i just don't get it but this time it wasn't in psmd #so i'm not attached to it just by virtue of that. and well. that contributes to me not really liking it i suppose #ahh well. better luck next time TPC you can make a good grass/dark-type eventually (it's meowscarada) (it took 6 generations) #hi it's me from two weeks later like the actual day this post is going to post. i came back to edit the tags so i could respond to some #comments. crazy‚ i know! but i saw the tags on this one were a bit short so let's beef 'em up. the nuzleaf post got some comments #about the whole prosthetic memory thing. where i set reminders on my phone to do shit or else i will not do the shit #i literally have a reminder set for 2:30 PM today to eat food. or else i won't even do that i bet #and folks are saying it's a common ADHD experience and that i'm not a fail and i do appreciate it. i think i was joking a bit #i was probably just frustrated i had to edit the image after taking it but the gist is. i don't *think* i have ADHD? i do have autism #which i suspected for a loooooong while until i finally up and got diagnosed when i was fucking 21 years old. which is insane. so i wonder #if that's an experience that overlaps. i imagine it is bc they proooobably would've been able to tell me if i had ADHD‚ too #okay. i moved these tags over here from nosepass‚ actually‚ which is the pokémon i just queued up. so i'm gonna go remove them from there #see you in street fighter five everybody

[criscura]

I wish I wasn't so exhausted and I could make more art.... I even planned out a whole prompt-a-day month for Saigenos/Genosai, TWICE, but the first time no one seemed like they could participate when I asked about it, and the second time I friggin lost the damned plan. I could remake it a third time, but I just....I don't know.

I've been really struggling to get along for a while, and I think if it didn't hit it off--or even if I just got really productive and it seemed like I was reaching crickets--I'd be so incredibly discouraged that it would bring me down even further. It usually takes my stuff a few months to a year to get reach, and that really doesn't do anything for me when I need the support immediately.

It's not that I don't have a billion ideas for so many different things, but my battery has been taking longer and longer to charge up and it's been running out faster and faster, and it's been like this for....a year?? Ish?? Maybe longer, I don't know.

I wish I could just stop needing so much fucking time to bounce back.....

#written from my bed as I'm almost crying from exhaustion and hopelessness #I'm PMSing and I had a really tiring day so i know this feels worse than normal #but when you've been struggling to fall asleep for months because waking up means being disappointed in yourself #for everything you failed to do the day before and everything you know you're going to fail to do again today #it's really hard not to feel like shit about yourself #trying to be constantly hopeful but never living up to your expectations #and then the few times that you do you completely crash for days #and then the only way to not crash is to have your big accomplishment be 'i went to the gym' 'i took a shower' 'i answered a message' #and just. again #to have the be the way you're living for months and months and months #it's so embarrassing to admit how little i can do and it makes me so ashamed knowing how much I've done and see what everyone else around me #is constantly doing #and then when i do share things it just kind of dies off because I've been too exhausted to maintain most relationships #which ALSO makes me feel like absolute fucking shit because i think people think i just don't care about them #when it's really that it takes me hours to get out of bed and I'm lucky if i remember to eat before 4 #and I hate so much of myself and see it as such a huge waste of time that it uses up almost all the energy i have to take care of myself #but if i don't do it I'll just hate myself even more #i know i keep on complaining about this but I'm. I'm trying to fix it #i have BEEN trying to fix it actively for so fucking long #but it's.....i think I've stopped believing anything i do has significant worth and it makes it hard to keep trying #and i know people will read this and say take something for it but when you're only interactions with medications and drugs #are one experience that scarred you so bad you didn't go to the doctors for ten years and one experience so bad #that you couldn't even explain it at first without HARDCORE disassociating #it's hard to convince yourself that anything will ever be any better and that it won't make everything intensely worse for years

[sunnibits]

the girlboss urge to eat the same fucking meal for lunch that you’ve been having for the past 3 days 😍

#right now it’s chicken nuggets and tater tots. bc I really can’t think of anything else aside from pasta that I want to eat #tbh actually I might go the pasta route today. #but I really need more lunches that aren’t pasta or tater tots 😭😭 #it’s so bad 😭😭 #gem don’t look

[countess-of-edessa]

“are the girls going to help you make pierogis?” well no one else is fucking gonna are they? no one else in this house has functional fucking hands apparently

#every Christmas i think about the time we came home from mass and my father said “finally! now we can relax.” and sat down at his computer #and played video games for the next three hours while my mother and sister and i stood six feet away from him in the kitchen making #200 pierogis. #it’s crazy considering the amount of stuff he gets done for him on a daily basis that I would never even think would be done for me by anyo #like bed made for him/all meals/all dishes/food put on his plate for him because he refuses to do it himself/pretty much all errands #whenever he wants tea he just says that want out loud and it gets brought to him by magic #i mean or anything else! he once said “did you say we were having cappuccinos today?” just to no one in particular and we all knew no one h #had said anything of the sort. and then he was given one! #of course he goes to work from 8-6ish every day but other than one day a week it’s remote and has been for years and i can hear him #he is pretty much never not on the phone gossiping with someone #and i don’t begrudge him having a not physically intensive job or anything but im just trying to think of the things he has to do #he makes my mother mow the lawn. i do it when i am home because i think that’s disgraceful. #if my mother begs hard enough he'll do the least amount of yard work possible if it’s something we can’t physically do by ourselves. #but on a daily basis it’s just go to work/eat the breakfast brought to you/eat the lunch brought to you/come downstairs eat the dinner made #for you/play video games until you go to bed in the bed that was made for you in the morning #and on non work days it’s just eat/video games/bed #and like all this to say #he complains more and has a worse attitude than anyone I have ever known in my life #whenever he encounters a minor inconvenience he's talking about how it never ends and he never gets a chance to rest for once #literally any day that’s not spent in complete and total stagnation is considered a failure #he hates when my mother and sister and i are happy like we can’t even play music and laugh in the kitchen while we cook and clean up after #meals because it distracts him from his video games and his YouTube videos about video games and the war in Ukraine #he gets mad when we laugh too much lol like dude you’re pretty lucky you have daughters who can have fun while doing the dishes #considering you haven’t done them in like 20 years #word to the ladies out there btw: my parents used to clean up after dinner together when they first got married. so watch out lmao

[searidings]

Hey there! Just curious if you’ve stumbled upon any new fanfics that you are loving?

hell yeah babey!!!!

if music be the food of love, play on and also you'll always find your way back home by lovepotionnumber5

also checking for updates on i want something just like this by @jazzfordshire and a history of wine by @seabiscuits-us and the bicep obsessed tennis au by ms huge rack @hrwinter like im checking the morning paper

#ok so. lovepotionnumber5. let's talk about them #if they have a tumblr i dont know it but fuck i'd like to #so they wrote a free solo au that is cinematic as all fuck and flawlessly combines two of my nichest interests #and i think i recced it already but honestly people are SLEEPING on it it's so so good yet so under-kudosed #so i was feeling my feelings today and felt like a reread and then i thought hey. i wonder if theyve written anything else #had a little look. saw another fic #read 'mob boss/jazz singer au' and promptly devoured the fuck out of it and let me just say #i was HOWLING #the funniest fucking dialogue in the world #'it's gonna be may' if you know you know and boy howdy i KNOW #go and read it like. i cannot stress this enough. wip or no wip. go and read jt #if i could eat a fic i would swallow that one whole #the characterisation i swear to god #i want to kiss lovepotionnumberfive's lillian luthor on the mouth #also kara and lena but we already knew that #i am reccing the shit out of this author don't try and stop me #lovepotionnumber5 if you're out there i'd die for you if you ever need it. jsyk #hope you're having a great day #asks #anonymous #my ficrecs

[bangcakes]

.

#personal #after TWO WEEKS.... we got to be alone omg. #i like him sooooo much. like sooo much #and it just feels so !!!!!! mutual !!!@ #like i havent said anything yet n neither has he but i just feel like soemthing is THERE. #like !!!!!!! idk how to explain. im just !!!!! #god today was so horrible to start but it ended so well :'))) #n like not just bc of him but bc of other friends ive made n like eating a burger NFJDJDJDJDDJDMDM #n e way im all over the place #im just so happy #and like !!!! #idk ive just been trating him like i would anyne else n not like... hes... how do i say it... #like im trying not to overthink everything like i usually do #like yesterday i messaged him after this like one torturous class we're both in #like i was literally messaging my other friends about it too so i was like OH??? WHY NOT HIM TOO #so i just DID IT. n we talked for a bit last night #and i just !!!!!! #i felt so much closer to him today like ah !!!!!!!!!!!!! #hes so cute :')))) #i like him ssssoooososoooooo much !!!!!!!! god !!!!!!!!! #and im not even devastated that he might not be there tomorrow. bc ik i can just message him.... ah !!!! #idk everything just feels so much more natural. i really hope we kep in touch after graduation znzmzmsms #im !!!!!!!!! hes so cute......... i forgot what i was gonna say NDJDMDMXMXM #OHHH... he always lets me know when hes gonna be around or not. its so cute 😭😭😭 #im just like... aw :'))) #i just dnndnndnd i cant believe how far things have come #like this time last year... i had never spoken to him.... we sat a seat apart.... #so i had always kinda wanted to but was so scared #i didnt have feelings at that point tho. they came later NFNDNDNDM #but ya n e way. whats that thing ppl post... its crazy how much the night changes... ya

[silenthillbunni]

🏫🍃🌥️

#oooof... sleep was rough bc my face was super itchy. all of a sudden i got rashes in my face yesterday ?!?!? i have NEVER gotten that wtffff #hopefully it's just temporary nd will go away. it's still a tiny bit itchy but not as bad as yesterday :o #istg my life is a JOKE!!!! a joke!!!! rashes?!? what? maybe stress nd anxiety?? idk it's wild tho i cant deal w this #so i couldnt really fall asleep but i rested for a few hours #then i got up. took my dog out. had oatmeal. called the surgeron clinic. #and like... i told them abt my weight and they said im underweight?! and that my bmi is 18.9 and u need to have 19.... #i told her that i cant gain weight bc i cant eat anything. that i cant have more fat than i already do bc then it hurts too much #she said she'll talk to the anesthesia doctors and call me later. she hasnt called yet #i rlly hope they understand the situation?? and that i can still have my surgery bc what else am i supposed to do??? #ughhhh why cant anything ever just be easy and smooth for me?? #i am sooooo tired of all these hardships piling on top of eo #then i walked to school.. took me an hour and im spent now bc im so weak nd malnutrioned skskskks #and im in class... it's a long one. still more than an hour left :'( my head hurts #ugh i just wanna be fine for once in my life #but yeah im like 75% thru all the hard things i need to do today #just need to finish class nd then walk home nd then hopefully get a call back and then i can relax (as much as i can lol) #i hope the itching goes down (still wtf is my body doing? i have no patience for it anymore) nd i hope im not too underweight for surgery om

[lemonofthevalley]

made ramen and added an egg to it and I am regretting that

#its not like. the worst pain ive been from eggs before itll go away soon (hopefully) #but if i didnt add it i would still be hungry because i didnt eat anything else other than a little bit of cake today LOL