#if i didnt delete a lot pf

[bittwitchy]

sometimes i forget that i have to physically look at my tag

#ive been on this website since 2011 dont look at me #the funniest thing is if you go on my archive #ingoring posts ive straight up privated or deleted bc i was younger and they embarassed me #i dont think ive ever actually not been on this website for more than a few weeks #like i had long LONG breaks from my lersonal where every six months id fill the q #post an odd gifset and abscond away somewhere #but if im not here im on an rp #and if im not on an rp im logged in here #and thats just been my cycle since 2013 or so #bc the first two years i would be on all ac #cts simutaneously and uhhhh thats how i deleted my original personal sO #if i didnt delete a lot pf #those rps to delete the memories which didnt eve. work #imagine how many years of complete tabble i’d have rn #i actually saw a word count page i had made in like 2016 on here snd #i at one point wrote upwards of 50000 words a month just in rp replies #and now even just getting a thread started is so hard bc i plot w ppl post a thing and nothing happens lmao #and i dont blame anyone for that we all adults now n it hard but its also kind of sad yknow #i dedicated so much time to writing bc it brings me joy but like i havent gotten anywhere w it #and unfortunately i live in america so if i cant make my hobbies earn me money then #/shrug shrug #i also feel horrible anytime i ask for money tgo for anything so like lol #growing up a people pleaser what uppppp #jts almost 430 am no i have. not slept

[mikeyflippinway]

.

#im so TIRED pf having a good few days then fuckin crashing hard when one thing gets inside my head #i have SO MUCH to do before tomorrow and i cant focus on it i just want to curl into a ball and not exist #and its just so FRUSTRATING because NOTHING really caused this to happen!!!!! #like fuck man idk i just know in my entire being that im being annoying to everyone when i go off about my interests #because most of the time they dont respond and just start a new topic of conversatiom #so when i see theyve moved on i end up deleting what i was talking about so like idk i can fuckin trick my brain into thinking #that maybe they just didnt see it and no harm no foul! but then they get mad at me for deleting it and its like!!!! #what do you want from me!! either pay attention to me or let me hide when im hyperfixating so i stop bothering yall! #its just so exhausting and im tired in so many ways but tomorrow is busy and i dont want to be busy but i have to be busy #i need to shut my brain off but thats literally impossible AND i need my brain working to keep fucking writing the dnd stuff i have to do #i just idk i want someone in my life who can match my energy!!!! who will fixate on the same shit as me!!!! its not even like i have #obscure interests or something!!!! like theres plenty of people i follow on here who like all the same shit i do!!!! #so why is it so hard and feel like IDK FUCKIN EMBARRASSING to talk about things i like when no one is listening!!!! #i knew this crash was gonna be coming but fuck its hitting a lot harder than i thoight it would[ #idk maybe ill just close my eyes and listen to GH on repeat for a while im just fhjdjjdbx #bee buzzes 🐝

[astrojoy]

Oml I just went on wattpad. I used to make stories on there awhile back. And legit I forgot I even made this and it's crazy

So yeah I've been seeing a lot of fairy stuff recently right?

Well my book I made on there was called "the gift of Joy"

I didn't have my tumblr account during this time. And I even forgot I named the book this or even tried to write one

Joy?? Girl my name is joy on here. Plus the story was about a fairy. It was gonna be a kids kind of book but I ended up not even hardly starting it.

The concept was a fairy was born. She didnt have a name, all fairies had to find a talent before they were named. Like a water fairy who liked to collect moon water might be named "luna" etc.

Joys talent that she didn't see, was spreading joy! And an evil fairy was gonna come into town spreading evil and chaos and joy was to stop it.

Joy had red hair with bangs on her forehead. She had green eyes as well. It would have been weird if it matched my pf anime pic lmaooo 😂😂 this is how I made her at the time ⬇️

I'm deleting it now tho so- yeet. Just thought it was kinda weird but funny. I didn't start out with the name joy on here but developed it after a few different aesthetics

Ugh this was crazy man

[t-underneaththeradardancing]

so

stolen - shameless 

but 

fishing for birds how could i not - the surreal alone - and scotty - may well have - sed fuck then deleted - he aint pooh but the doc more likely 

zat wuz zen diss is now 

its k actual - morning - birdsong from the get go but this time yesterday thot a smooth sail - in my apartment distancing of course - not actually inna boat onna bay 

still 

had worse - way - lots pf love inna mix and yah some sad n heal n confuse 

wtf iz actual 

oh t getz over ur bad self and tawk the kitty tawk n pet n praise she is a good one always 

must b bit better - insomnia as usual - not bad - slept more than used to still and quiet lay rest and forgot to take a med cuz didnt feel need - yes i took it when i remember 

gonna take it ez like a jackson thinking 7 - really ? sound like braggin 

gonna record the morning usual snippet 

then 

fuck if i no 

more birdsong - murder feed a short stroll - that sounds relaxing stroll - and fishing for birds sound more fun than flying kites  and we having wattu call a moment  - here - on the planet lately maybe the solar sytem but w the distance u never 

later 

love 

#poetry i guess