#i've tried my best with the IDs but i am new to this

[teacupsandcyanide]

hi everyone check out these funny shirts

As an Asian-Australian, one of the delights of my youth was being surrounded by Asian products with bad English on them. Personally I think it's fine to have a giggle at them as long as you don't call it "engrish" and you understand that Westerners are not immune to being similarly bad at other languages. People simply think "hey that other language looks cool, I'm gonna put it on a shirt" and they don't let not knowing a single word of that language stop them. I get really nostalgic whenever I see Asian products with bad English specifically, and I wanted to share a haul with you today, in order of most coherent to most absolutely bananas. I would encourage you to read the image descriptions.

[Image ID: A white t-shirt emblazoned with photos of broccoli and black text outlining the nutritional value of broccoli per 100g (3.5 oz). Text litters the design reading "CALORIE 36.0" and "CABBAGE FAMILY". The masterpiece is headed by the word "Broccoli". To the side of this shirt is another, smaller shirt, also white. The design of this shirt is much simpler, with just the word "Broccoli" in green, and a small picture of broccoli. /.End ID]

Specimen 1: Broccoli shirt. This fits into the popular category of fruit, vegetable, and drink-based attire. Common examples of this tend more towards strawberry, milk, avocado, citrus, and chocolate, though, so the broccoli is distinctly more left-field than the more favoured carrot or radish, typically considered cuter vegetables. I appreciate this diversity and the funducational approach, as well as the fact that there is a smaller, matching shirt, as if for a child or especially large dog. I like how the smaller shirt is tastefully simpler but still includes both a written and pictorial depiction of broccoli, so you get a clear idea of what the shirt's deal is. @redgoldblue when you're finally ready to let me dress you up like a smaller version of me and carry you around town telling people that I'm a vampire and you're a porcelain doll haunted by my human ghost, I think we should start here. Rating this a 6/10.

[Image ID: A black t-shirt cropped to a v-shape, with matching black arm bands/arm warmers. This shirt has a band of distorted pink texture placed exactly where the tits would be, were the wearer a tit owner. Over this texture is the picture of a tabby kitten with a blue ribbon around its neck and a pink rose tucked into said ribbon. The kitten is smiling a Mona Lisa smile and standing on some disembodied piano keys. The words "Here on earth, Joy iy youry" are written in warped pink comic sans. There is something in the upper right corner in tiny pink writing, which reads in part "joy/delight" and then devolves into inscrutable text. /.End ID]

Specimen 2: Sad girl kitten shirt with matching emo arm warmers. Obviously we've all felt when here on earth joy iy youry. Universal human experience. Love the tit highlighter. Shirt looks like the someone communed with Beezlebub to design it. 8/10

[Image ID: A grey t-shirt, slightly over-sized/loose fit. Design looks very American; it has a cartoon planet with a ring around it. Black text arching above the planet reads "INTERNATIONAL" and over the planet green block text continues "Pretty Girls Club". Underneath the planet is more black text reading "FOUNDED BY BINCH CITY". On one side of the shirt there's a slit that cuts up to approx just below the tiddy zone, or at least to the midriff. At the top of this slit are two clothing tags with mostly unreadable text on them, but one reads in all-caps "CHOOSE HAPY". /.End ID]

Specimen 3: Shirt for pretty girls who choose hapy. "Binch city" might say "beach city" but I'm choosing to believe that it says "binch", as "binch" is infinitely funnier. Slit is a wildly unexpected choice but doesn't do enough to alleviate the overall boringness. 4/10.

[Image ID: A blue shirt with one mismatched sleeve in slightly darker blue. Has two large starry cartoon eyes and blushed cheeks hovering, disembodied, on the lower right side, below which is a horizontal cut in the cloth that gapes open like a mouth. Dangling from the hem of the shirt below this face are two long strips of fabric with little chicken feet. The main body of the shirt has a speech bubble reading in large white text "Can you tie a bow for me?". /.End ID]

Specimen 4: Really can't get into this one, lads. Hopefully you too have the dreadful moment of realisation that "Can you tie a bow for me?" means that the cartoon face is inviting you to use its chicken legs to tie a bow through its open maw to hold its mouth wider open in a parody of a grin. This isn't speculation by the way, it's demonstrated in accompanying pictures. 10/10 for "oooh absolutely not."

[Image ID: A white t-shirt totally blank but for the photorealistic picture of a fat ginger cat taped to it with a thick strip of silver duct tape. Cat doesn't look mad about the arrangement. /.End ID]

Specimen 5: This Guy. 21/10, absolute mad lad.

[Image ID: A white t-shirt with some food and drink on the centre, drawn in a sketchy coloured art style. There is a small bowl of apples, and a bottle of milk labelled "milk". There is also a teapot made to look like a fridge, with its door slightly ajar and an even tinier bowl of fruit and a tinier carton of milk sitting on top. Next to this is a plate of either cheese or butter, with a breadknife lying on top and some remnants of unidentifiable food to the side. Words under this plate read "more parsley". There is no parsley on the plate. There are also larger words reading "Good enough to eat BUT DON'T!" with an arrow pointing towards the plate of cheese butter. /.End ID]

Specimen 6: Good enough to eat!!! BUT DON'T! I like that the milk is labelled "milk" so you know what it is. The teapot fridge situation raises more questions than it answers. I feel that the "more parsley" note gives a sense of philosophic allegory to the whole thing. There's no parsley on the plate, but is that why more parsley is needed? Can you ask for more when you have nothing, or do you simply ask for parsley? This design also reminds me of a lot of Korean stickers I've used. 10/10, classic.

[Image ID: A photo of a person wearing a shirt. The shirt is black and oversized, with a large pink toy rabbit dominating the centre of the design. Over this rabbit are all caps in pink and white, reading "MXCHN SAEAY". Beneath the rabbit in smaller white all caps are the words "JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE INVITED' DOESN'T MEAN YOU" then below that also in white all caps the words "FROM THE MIND' OF JORDAN PEELE". /.End ID]

Specimen 7: FROM THE MIND' OF JORDAN PEELE. Now we enter the ever popular gibberish category, crossing over slightly with the category of "selecting random things from Western culture to reference nonsensically", which happen to be two of my favourite categories. I once saw a collection of shirts with the disembodied heads of two of the kids from Stranger Things and text reading "EMILY + ME <3". I don't know enough about Jordan Peele's films to be sure that this isn't actually a coherent reference, but I know enough about Asian shirts to say with some confidence that it probably isn't one. Absolute delight, pleasure to have you here, 11/10.

[Image ID: A cream-coloured ringer t-shirt with navy blue edging at the sleeves and collar. It has a navy blue picture that at first glance looks like a cute cartoony drawing of two people at either a shop counter or having dinner. On closer inspection the picture doesn't actually make sense. There are two people sitting at a table with their backs turned to the viewer, their faces turned to talk to each other. But also the table seems to be two school desks, and at the same time be inside a coffee shop counter. The counter has what looks like a pitcher and coffee press, and two short stools in front of it. The table/desk situation merges into the top of the counter. There is also a light overhead and something that looks like an inkblot picture floating above the coffee press. Crowning this conglomeration of visual gibberish are letters spaced together like made-up words, arching over the whole drawing. These letters/words are "DNHELIE COST" then "1997", followed by "ENJOG DOPS COSRN SN". More words are on the front of the counter, "ene Lirenocs [unreadable] ENJOG Meanris". Somehow, next to all that are perfectly legible words saying "let's go!". /.End ID]

Specimen 8: HELLO? Truly in the total gibberish category now. Prime specimen of its genre. I took a psychic damage hit trying to describe the image. 9/10, point deducted because the design is clearly made up of stolen images merged together.

[Image ID: A white t-shirt with actually coherent design and English. Artwork of an cranky black cat over striped colours with vector art of a syringe above. Layered above and below the main image are the words "I GOT VACCINATED BUT I STILL WANT SOME OF YOU TO STAY AWAY FROM ME". /.End ID]

Specimen 9: Speaking of obviously stolen artwork, this is to a Westerner a totally normal shirt but I cannot describe to you how jarring it was to see this amongst my cutesy frog overalls and FROM THE MIND' OF JORDAN PEELE streetwear. I've tried to recreate the experience by saving this one until towards the end but I fear that unless as a child you also went to Morning Glory semi-religiously to look at journals with "lovely day girl" and bootlegged Disney princess chibis plastered all over them, you simply will not be able to experience the same emotion via the empty illusion of forced immersion. 2/10, clearly stolen, design is too coherent, this is an imposter in my lands.

[Image ID: A white cropped t-shirt printed with pink and blue pastel lettering. Lettering reads "Friendly Reminder, not being racist is not enough". There are pink hearts between the words "is not enough". Below this is a text bubble outlined in pink, which contains smaller black text that reads "Nothing will change unless we recognize and actively work against our own internalized biases, unless we are willing to risk our comfort for the sake of others". /.End ID]

Specimen 10: The only thing more jarring than the vaccinated cat shirt is this, also an obviously stolen design, but worse. This is the inverse of an imposter in my lands. I've seen artwork like this since 2011 on a thousand passive aggressive tumblrina blogs. Why is the DNI page of a white 23-year-old who does nothing but start fights over Steven Universe and have "soft baby pet" in their bio on a t-shirt sold alongside DNHELIE COST 1997. When I look at this I experience two emotions. The first emotion is a complicated inner conflict between knowing I agree with the basic principle of the artwork and not being able to separate it from some of the most unbearable people I've ever crossed paths with. The second emotion is this:

[Image ID: A screenshot of beloved fictional character Mike Wazowski standing in front of a door and screaming at his best friend, Monsters Inc employee and lauded foster parent James P. Sullivan, known to friends as Sulley. Foster child Boo, commonly referred to by Mike Wazowski as "that thing", stands in monster cosplay to Sulley's left. /.End ID]

Okay, I've saved the best for last.

[Image ID: A grey acid-wash t-shirt with a picture of a black skeleton floating with its arm spread out, glowing infra-red. Above its upturned hands are hovering a black star and a globe respectively, also both glowing. There are lightning strikes around the skeleton and poor definition red roses at its feet. Large hippy font words above the skeleton read in all-caps: "MENTAL ILLNESS". Below the skeleton similar all-caps read "SOCIAL MEDIA MAKE YOU BE A DIFFERENT PERSON". /.End ID]

Specimen 11: I believe that if you're a regular tumblr user you fall into one of 6 categories:

you are the kind of person who likes tea and libraries

you think this shirt is somehow problematic

there is some part of you that wants this shirt

you are the kind of person who likes tea and libraries and there is also some part of you that wants this shirt

you think this shirt is somehow problematic but there is some part of you that wants this shirt anyway

a complicated sexy lil mixture of all of the above

Please if you reblog this post put in the tags which category you fall under, for science. Also rate this shirt.

#hmp42 #i've tried my best with the IDs but i am new to this #I tried to strike a line between evocative enough to have the psychic damage of the image #and not too just for laffs #i use subtitles and while i like some humour it does also annoy me when people put random jokes in

[silentpinessave]

V.1: Silent Pines, 1998 Special Credit: Silent Pines is heavily inspired by and uses a very similar style to the stunning @windbrook savefile by @folkling, the gorgeous portsim savefile by @florwal, and the amazing builds by @moonwoodmillz. Thank you all for your hard work, I take a lot of inspiration from you all. Silent Pines is a base-game only save file inspired by Life is Strange with 3 major worlds, a whole new set of townies, and a complete mystery to solve.

Version 1 contains;

Willow Creek as Silent Pines

13 Community Lots

3 move-in ready homes for your sims

A total of 9 houses, 6 of which are filled with townies

18 households with jobs, story, and drama

A complete mystery to solve (should you want to)

DOWNLOAD, INFO, AND SCREENSHOTS BELOW

I used S4Studio to rename all the worlds, and I've decorated all the neighbourhoods with T.O.O.L. As I said before, Silent Pines is completely base-game friendly, absolutely no packs or kits are used. There is some custom CC, mainly posters that add to the story. The CC is one package file and adds nothing other than some customisation to the story. It is not required.

For example the missing poster of Cleo Emerson, a girl who disappeared under mysterious circumstances;

SPECIAL THANKS Thank you to my beta testers @theemodernsim, @authorspirit, @acuar-io, @aridridge for all your help! You've been amazing and I really am very grateful. And thank you to everyone who has liked, reblogged, followed, and generally supported Silent Pines. It means the world to me to be able to share my work with people!

🌲 Download (Patreon) 🌲

Gallery ID: Cosmoosims

DISCLAIMER: There have been reports of the 'build mode item missing' message popping up, especially in the downtown area. I've tried to fix this to the best of my ability, and I hope it's alright! Also, if there is anything I should fix or have left out, please let me know. Thank you for your patience <3

ALSO: Due to the Sims 4 being a broken game, I really don't recommend playing Silent Pines with Rental Units, in case the T.O.O.L objects up and disappear lol.

Silent Pines is heavily inspired by Life is Strange, the Windbrook save file, florwalsims' Portsim save file, as well as the hazy nostalgia of the late 90s and early 2000s. I hope to see you all soon for V.2!

The Mystery Update A more comprehensive outline for this update will be coming soon, but essentially it will contain;

Hopefully the fixed Harris household

More mystery clues to make the mystery more engaging and easier to solve

Better and complete lot descriptions

Love from, Silent Pines.

#silentpines save #ts4 base game save file #ts4 base game #the sims 4 #ts4 #ts4 screenshots #showusyourbuilds #ts4 build #ts4 save file #sims 4 #sims 4 save file #sims4 #ts4 simblr

[simsi45]

The Sims 4 Amber House Pack - PUBLIC RELEASE!

CLICK HERE TO GO TO THE PATREON PAGE!

Oh...my...GOD!!! I can't believe this is actually happening....

After 3 years of hard work, I am here to welcome everyone to:

The Sims 4 Amber House Pack!

It's time to create your own mission style dream house, with this collection of 345 brand new and hella cool build/buy mode items, inspired by Dontnod's "Life is Strange: Before the Storm" game.

EARLY ACCESS: You can get the pack right now, on my PATREON on the 3-5$ tiers, or wait for the 12th of May for the public release!

Please read EVERYTHING included in the post as it contains useful information about the pack!

DISCLAIMER: Simsi45 or The Sims 4 Amber House Pack is NOT affiliated or associated with Electronic Arts, Square Enix, Deck Nine or Dontnod in ANY way. This is a purely fanmade pack made by me, a fan of both games that wanted to get the best of both worlds.

FEATURES:

 345 new items (including sofas, tables, decor, windows, doors and much much more!)

 Search for "amberhouse", "lis", "simsi45" to find most of the items in the build/buy catalog.

 Custom original names and descriptions. (the best I could come up with :P)

 Tons of custom recolors (based on original textures) to mix and match items more easily.

 Heavy modification on original meshes and textures, including english text turned into simlish.

 Everything has been playtested thoroughly.

 Included are a couple of easter egg items from The Sims 2 that I thought fit the theme well.

New lot I made showcased in the trailer and pics (found in the gallery under my tag @simsi45_mods) a recreation of Rachel Amber's house.

LOT INSTALLATION:

Included in the pack is the lot recreation of the Amber House that's featured in the pictures and videos.

You can get the lot by:

Using the gallery. Make a search under my EA id: @simsi45_mods and download the lot as usual. I've included customized pictures to identify my own lot more easily. Make sure you have the "enable custom content" tag ENABLED for the lot to show up in the results.

If you have difficulties using the gallery you can download the lot tray files from the bottom of the post, and move them inside your own tray folder. This can be found in your documents/electronic arts/the sims 4/ tray folder. This way you can install the lot without the need of the gallery.

NOTES:

~ The pack is in an EARLY-ACCESS STATE! I have dedicated a lot of time to test everything but I'm a team of just a single person. If you find any issues please let me know so I can take a look.

~ Because of the amount of items the size of the pack is quite big. I tried my best to make everything as compact as possible with the final size being 1.5 GB of required free space. 

~ The majority of the meshes and textures of these items are ripped straight from the LIS: Before the Storm game, and then each individual item (both mesh and textures) has been heavily modified and edited to fit and function properly within the Sims 4 game's engine. That's why some items will look identical to the original game, some look somewhat different, and some are brand new meshes I made using the original items.

~ Some of the original ripped meshes' poly counts were WAY too high so I had to lower the polygons so The Sims 4 wouldn't explode when filling a lot with them. I lowered the polygons and edited most of the items as much as possible without compromising their original look too much. In other words I tried to find the best balance between looks and performance and after lots of testing on my moderate PC system, I can confirm the game runs super smoothly on my end. 

BACKSTORY ABOUT THE PACK (no spoilers):

This pack started with an idea I got back in 2017 when I first played Life Is Strange Before The Storm. When visiting the Amber house, I immediately fell in love with it as I am huge fan of the craftsman architectural style, it's literally all I'd want my dream house to be. The art team has done an incredible job on it, and as I personally find the art style of the Life is Strange series and The Sims 4 to fit very well with each other, I wanted to make these assets available for The Sims 4. Of course back then this all seemed impossible, however a few years later in 2020 during quarantine I revisited the idea as it had been stuck on my wishlist ever since.

To make a long story short, this project has been in the works for about 3 years now, and after a lot of hard work, head scratching and quite a few sleepless nights I managed to overcome all the obstacles I came across (which were a lot mind you) and I'm honestly hoping you'll be as pleased with the results as I am. Seriously this exceeded my expectations as it started as a small little pack for my personal use, to what I'd consider an expansion pack's (or even more) worth of build/buy content.

INSTALLATION:

Due to the size of the pack I had to split it up into multiple parts. You will need a .RAR extractor unpack it. More specifically:

1 -> Download ALL 6 parts of the pack and put them ALL in the same folder. 2 -> Right click the 1st part .RAR file named "Simsi45 - The Sims 4 Amber House Pack.part1" and click "Extract Here"   3 -> Once that's finished a package file will appear, this is the entire pack and you can now move that into The Sims 4/Mods. Simple as that!

CREDITS & THANKS:

~Dontnod, Square Enix, Deck Nine for the original meshes & textures ripped from Life is Strange: Before the Storm that were used to create most of the items.

~EA for some meshes & textures used to convert some items from The Sims 2.

Special thank you to all the patreon members that stuck with me throughout me developing the pack. Although not many I really appreciate every single one of you for the support you've given me and for sticking around!

#ts4 #simsi45 #maxis match #the sims #ts4cc #architecture #life is strange #lis bts #rachel amber #chloe price #ts4cc maxis match #s4 maxis match #s4 custom content #s4 cc #sims 4 cc #lis #kate marsh #arcadia bay #simsi45 the sims cc #Youtube

[harleehazbinfics]

Home is where my Heart is.

Chapter 7: Stayed Gone Table of Contents | Profile

Word Count: 1014 A/N: yeah we're going to the singing bits yaaaay. just imagine her voice trying to meld into his and creating this like light airy but enchanting sound on top of his deep and dark tone. cuz yes we love blending and harmonizing in this family. also also alastor will be in bold and miledy in italics and both will be like this for the song. enjoyyyyy (thank you sm transcribers of the wiki id actually die if encoded all of that gshdajsdg)

“This is such a nice day,” I hummed enjoying my tea while Alastor sat opposite of me reading the paper with his coffee and enjoyed the mundane moment together.

Until it wasn’t, as a rocket launches below us. “Come show yourself, Alastor! Come face—oh, there you are. Face my wrath!”

“Who are you?” he jeers enjoying getting on his nerves while I smiled at the two. Al clearly doesn’t dislike him but instead enjoys toying with him, he doesn’t completely shut him down unlike an unpleasant certain someone. I actually find Sir Pentious quite cute how he tries to size Alastor up despite failing several times but he’s got guts I give him that.

“Who am I? Who am I? I am the great Sir Pentious! Inventor! Architect of Destruction! Villain extraodinare!” He announces while the both of us slide within Al’s shadow and appear in front of Charlie and the others.

“Ooh! He’s a bad boy!” Nifty calls as she appears on top of Al’s shoulder.

He takes Nifty and places her in my arms and replies, “Ha, well if all that's true, you'd think I'd have heard of you.”

“I attacked you literally last week,” Sir Pentious replies, only for Alastor to cock his head, “We've done battle, like... 20 times.”

 “Well, you must have been really bad at this,” he teases putting his cane down.

“Silence! Now cower! For when I've ssslain you, the almighty Vees will finally acknowledge me as their equal.”

“Ooh! Wait, who are the Vees?” Nifty asks while in my arms.

“Oh, nobody important,” both Al and I respond giving each other a knowing look.

While Al kept beating up the poor lad, I turn my eyes on the drone in the sky noticing the familiar logo on it. A devious smile creeps on my face as I place Nifty on the ground and shot it down with a lance made of water. It falls with a crash conveniently landing on my feet. I crushed it under my heel before turning back to the group.

“Thanks for another forgettable experience,” Al says pleased with himself while he leans on his cane looking down at Sir Pentious.

“Thank you...” he pauses before tearing off a piece of his tailcoat, “for letting your guard down!

“Oh, deer,” I mutter, wide eyed as I watched Al transform into his demon form and makes an explosion that causes the snake to fly off to the distance.

“Well, it looks as though I need a visit to the tailor! Best of luck, chums,” he announces, taking me with him.

“Wait, you're LEAVING?! Alastor! We need your help! We need you to do your job,” Vaggie yells gesturing to the hotel.

“We need a wall,” Angel deadpans pointing at the broken wall.

“Of course! Can't let my new project fall into disrepair already. What would the papers say?!” he exclaims.

With a snap of his fingers his shadows appear with building equipment. He turns away from the group and takes us to the pentagram. We enjoy a little stroll before getting inside the boutique, he got his suit redone while I looked at the new dress they had on display. I bought a couple dresses that caught my eye and exited the building together, only to be greeted by Vox’s unpleasant face singing on the television. We shared a look and went back to Al’s studio with a smile.

“Salutations! Good to be back on the air,” We greeted in sync blending our voices ever so often creating a seductive distortion.

“Yes, I know it's been a while since someone with style treated Hell to a broadcast.” Al starts off while I finish, “Sinners rejoice!”

“What a dated voice!” Vox yells.

I drape my arms around Al’s neck as he sat back on his seat in an easy going way while keeping the microphone to his face and replies, “Instead of a clout chasing mediocre video podcast.”

“Is Vox insecure, pursuing allure? Flitting between this fad and that. Is nothing working? Ha ha!” we tease him enjoying the annoyance in his voice.

“IGNORE THEIR CHIRPING!”

“Every day he's got a new format!”

“YOU'RE LOOKING AT THE FUTURE! He's the shit that comes before that!”

“Is Vox as strong as he purports? Or is it based on his support? He'd be powerless without the other Vees!”

“Oh, PLEASE.”

“And here's the sugar on the cream. He asked ME to join this team!”

“Hold on!”

“I said no, and now he's pissy! That's the tea.”

“You old timey PRICK! I'll show you suffering!”

“Uh oh, the TV is buffering!”

“I'LL DESTROY YOOOOU YOU LITTLE—"

His little temper tantrum leads him to short circuit causing the electricity in the entire pentagram to disappear.

“I'm afraid you've lost your signal.”

“Let's begin.” He sings menacingly slowly transforming to his demon form. “Let's begin.” I sang hauntingly on top of his voice, my eyes turn black leaving my glowing blue irises hypnotically.

“I'm gonna make you wish that I stayed gone!” “Tune on in.”

"When I'm done, your status quo will know its race is run!

Oh, this will be fun!"

I laughed in delight, celebrating our wonderful comeback to our radio show. Al gives me smile and stands there quietly enjoying my reaction.

“That was wonderful! We haven’t done that in so long!” I gushed holding onto his hands. “I thought I’d have to wait 200 hundred years to sing with you again.”

He laughs petting my head, “No need for drastic measures, my dear. I’m here to stay.”

I beamed a smile and gave him a brief hug. “I’m guessing you’ll be greeting our new guest,” I asked while fixing his bow.

“But of course! I need to welcome their little toy they reeled in for us,” he smirks, “Have a good rest. I’ll see you later.”

I wave him off before I went back to our room, relaxing in our bed drifting to sleep.

‘Mom! Dad! I found some flowers over here!’

Tears fall down my face as I recall much happier times.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin alastor #hazbin angel dust #hazbin charlie #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin husk #hazbin lucifer #alastor x reader #hazbin vaggie #HISWMHI #alastor x oc #alastor #alastor hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel alastor

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

So here's an interesting one: Am I the Asshole for keeping low contact with my mother?

So I'm a 24 y/o nb and I currently live with other family due to things that happened during covid and losing my job etc etc etc. Well, I learned that while I was growing up, my mother did hard drugs (I'm talking heroin, crack, stuff like that) alongside my already shit hole of a stepdad. All while having 4 kids. My eldest sibling practically raised me and our two younger siblings until they were kicked out at 17. I never knew about our mother doing anything but pot - but I knew our shared stepdad did drugs at the time. Not to mention I am of the autistic spectrum and as a child I definitely wasn't the best to look after whenever I had my bad days. But now we get along now. ANYWAY, my eldest sibling told me to not tell mom they told me, because mom wanted to tell me herself. The thing is, I was told this over a year ago now and she still hasn't tried to say anything or explain why our childhood was so damn crappy. I'm honestly super disappointed that she let herself take such hard drugs around 4 kids. 3 under 10, no less. I've been distancing myself - I don't really text her too much outside of the occasional holiday/anniversary or news about stuff within the family. She texts me tiktoks a lot and I never open or respond to them, and honestly I've lost a lot of respect for her. She's always proud about how open and honest she is (and trust me... I know more shit about her sex life than id like to tbh), and yet she's never tried to tell me she put herself and us through all that because of drugs? When she is usually so damn put together and smart? It changed my whole perspective of her.

So, aita?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[techav]

More Speed, More Power, Pretty Pictures

I added some crude functions to the ROM monitor on my Wrap030 project to read the root directory of a FAT16-fomatted disk and load binary files into memory to execute. This opens up a new option for developing programs and running them on the computer, and makes it easier to keep programs on-hand for loading when I demonstrate the computer.

So what new program do I build first for running from disk? The same Mandelbrot renderer I've been using all along, of course! All I needed to do to get it running from disk was adjust a few load instructions to use PC-relative addressing and then change the vasm output to raw binary.

It ran without issue ... mostly. I had been noticing some instability with the system in general. It's not really related to the programming work I've been doing, it just tended to show itself more when doing the kind of FPU-intensive processing required for the Mandelbrot program. Sometimes the system wouldn't boot at all, sometimes it would continually reset. Other times it would run fine for a while, but randomly throw a coprocessor protocol exception (especially when using double- or extended-precision floating point values).

I had a pretty good idea of where this instability was coming from ...

As someone on Discord put it, that's a pretty little antenna I've got there.

High speed computers don't like excessively-long wiring between components. I made the ribbon cables long because there were other boards I developed for this system. But, I'm only using the CPU board, the FPU + IDE mezzanine board, and the video generator board. All that extra wire is just making things more difficult.

A year ago, when I first put these three boards together, I had to bump the bus speed down to 25MHz to get it to run. I could run the CPU board up to 56MHz by itself, and I could get it to run with one expansion board or the other up to 40MHz, but with all three boards, 25MHz was the best I could do (out of the oscillators I had on hand). I have some 33MHz oscillators now, and while I could get it to run sometimes, it was obviously far more unstable.

It was time to trim those pretty little antennas.

I left room for one more card, in case I can get my DRAM card working later, but trimmed a few inches off. The result? Rock solid at 25MHz now.

... and at 32MHz.

... but 40MHz still doesn't run.

I am quite pleased with that result. My target for this system in the beginning was 25MHz. That extra 30% speed increase is very noticeable, especially when running a program like the Mandelbrot renderer.

But I had a thought.

My FPU is rated for 25MHz, and here it's running solid at 32MHz along with the rest of the system. But my FPU board was designed to support the FPU running at a separate clock speed from the rest of the system (the 68881/68882 FPU is actually designed to support this, so I implemented it when I built my mezzanine board).

What would happen if I tried running the FPU even faster? Perhaps using that 40MHz oscillator that I couldn't use for the complete system?

Surprisingly, not a problem running the CPU at 32MHz and the FPU at 40MHz.

... or 50MHz

... or 55MHz

... or 67MHz!

Once again, I've run out of faster oscillators. This computer is running stable with its FPU clocked at over two and a half times its rated speed.

The video above is a real-time capture of the VGA output of this machine running that Mandelbrot renderer (now modified to use 96-bit extended-precision floating-point arithmetic!) with the CPU & main bus clocked at 32MHz and the FPU clocked at 67MHz. Some frames take minutes to render. Some complete in as little as seven seconds.

I am in awe. While I had big dreams when I first started working on this project six years ago, I never could have imagined it running this well at that kind of speed. I am very happy with how this project has turned out so far, and can't quite believe I actually built something like this.

I typically wrap up these posts with a plan of where to take the project next, but the project has already exceeded my expectations. There is so much it is already capable of now that I have a permanent storage option available. I guess I could try getting that DRAM card running to expand the main memory beyond 2MB, or try adding a keyboard and some text routines to complement the video card. Both are good options towards getting a proper operating system running, which has always been a goal of the project.

Either way, I'm sure I'll have fun with it.

#wrap030 #mc68030 #homebrew computing #retrocomputing #mandelbrot #motorola 68k #motorola 68030 #homebrew computer #assembly programming #motorola 68882

[ultimatehopes]

I am gonna spend a million years on making my main page so I'll just share all the content I've made so far here

1. Pluto King

About

Name - Pluto King Birthday - Unknown Zodiac - Unknown Parents - Unknown Likes - Reading, hitchhiking, self destruction Dislikes - Normies, doctors, himself

Pluto was probably born, he celebrated his birthday whatever day was most convenient for him. He had no ID because he didn’t know what country he was from. He didn’t know what year he was born.

He once explained this to police, somewhere in Mongolia he thinks, he said he once decided he liked hitchhiking, but he forgot where he’d come from after a while. He explained his brain blocked memories that hurt, the police suggested sending him to a psychiatric hospital, it didn’t help.

Being no one was a very comfortable thing to be, Pluto had given up on trying to unlock the memories his brain had kept from him, they probably weren’t that important, what he did remembered hurt, like a flame on skin, like someone tried to melt his flesh off his body, and then he remembered gold.

Her name was not Miss Honey, but she reminded him of the character, and he forgot her real name, she was his case worker, or therapist, or social worker, one of those. He remembered she called him Xander, he couldn’t remember why though.

Miss Honey had given Pluto books about space, he fell in love with the small non-planets, maybe that was why he was called Xander, because he re-named himself after the most famous dwarf planet of all, Pluto… Or maybe that memory was false, who knows.

Pluto would hop in strangers cars and leave, he couldn’t be caught because he was barely a person. Pluto King was the creature on the outskirts of the city, the flicker in the corner of your eye, the hint of a memory you swear you once knew. Pluto King was no human, he was unlike any that you will ever see again…

2. Amari Webb

About

Name - Amari Ilora Webb Birthday - 08/09/2005 Zodiac - Virgo Parents - Michael Webb and Eta Sunday Likes - Beekeeping, homesteading, gardening Dislikes - Socialising, romance, entitlement

Amari Webb’s life is defined by what other people do. She has always been a good girl, always done her best, done all her studies, always cleaned, always taken care of herself, she was never ever a burden.

Michael Webb’s life is defined by his own mistakes, he met Eta Sunday at a bar and hit it off, he begged her to keep the baby he landed her with, and he screamed at her when she left him with the child he’d sworn he wanted.

That baby had no home with her only family, she found it in the kindness of strangers. The people who helped her the most often were Sarah Young and Winnie Storey, who took care of her in her infancy. This was how she and Frances Hammond-Young became as close as sisters, Frances was the only person in the world who Amari trusted, and she earned that place, being the safest place Amari had.

Amari got introduced to gardening when she was young by Pippa Edwards, Pippa spent a lot of time with Amari, though Amari didn’t know why, and he taught her how to grow flowers and turn carrot tops into carrot plants and grow old potatoes into hundreds of new ones. Soon the Webb family house garden was a sprawling garden, and she began to expand anywhere she was allowed to, decorating paths around the town with flowers, filling the Hammond’s garden with fruit trees, planting veggie boxes behind Dusty and Pippa’s house.

Dusty Murray helped build bee hotels to put up around the town, and then made Amari apiaries to keep more bees. Pippa and Dusty felt like parents to Amari after a while, Dusty would spend hours dyeing her hair a warm purple to match her favourite overalls and loccing her hair until she matched with him, and Pippa would teach Amari about skills she learnt living on a small farm as a kid. She felt at home with the couple, but she preferred to be around her plants.

Michael began rehab when Amari was 10, he slowly recovered both himself and his relationship with his daughter; Amari was never a creature of grudges as she had much better things to care about, she believed. She didn’t care for her father like she did for Dusty and Pippa, finding no enthusiasm in seeing him improve. The only way she showed her support was in the fresh food she made from the vegetables in their garden, which Michael cherished more than anything.

Amari’s home has always been in the trees, in the garden, in amongst plants, away from people, watching bugs crawl along the undergrowth, moving worms off the pavement after rain, growing plants wild so that small animals could live amongst them. Amari never understood the desire for companionship she saw her peers have, naming every plant bug and animal around her the companionship she needed. With a home in the wild and with Frances by her side, even when stoic and detached Amari says that she is the happiest she could possibly be.

3. Frances Hammond-Young

About

Name - Frances Alice Hammond-Young Birthday - 09/04/2005 Zodiac - Aries Parents - Graham Young and Kim Seol-hee Likes - Music, fashion, helping others. Dislikes - Sarah, Finlay, helping herself

Frances Alice Young was born to archivist Kim Seol-hee and microbiologist Graham Young in Copenhagen on a snowy spring morning in 2005. Her family was small but tight-knit, her parents were so in love they warmed up cold winter days, Frances’ memory of her parents was always tinged in warmth. Frances was in her home with her aunt when the police lights flashed in the window. Aunt Sarah stood and spoke to the officers, Frances thought the officer looked cool in his big vest with a radio on his belt, she did not know what he meant when he said her parents had crashed through a barrier on a snowy highway, but she was excited to know she’d get to spend more time with her aunty.

Frances was 5 when she moved with her aunt to the weird forest with no entrance. The trees were taller than she’d ever seen before and they seemed to warp unnaturally around the car as Sarah drove. Frances’ uncle was quiet but he loved that Frances loved music, her cousin liked to play with her, always playing hide and seek and taking her on adventures, and her aunt was warm and soft, always gentle with her.

Aunt Sarah, uncle Dai, and cousin Fiona, turned into mum, dad, and big sister. The warmth from her Copenhagen town house turned into hiding in the garden while mum and dad had a screaming match. Fiona turned into Finlay, and their adventures together turned into Frances cowering alone in her room while Finlay hung out with his best friend.

Frances found safety in other ways, her best friend Amari had a garden that could swallow you, and Frances weeded and talked while Amari slowly pruned all her plants. Frances found safety in music, singing to herself, then to Amari, then her grandparents, then in the gazebo in the town park to celebrate the solstice.

Frances met Gabrielle first, she was often the first to find people who appeared since her house was so close to the forest, Gabrielle was confused, and then angry, and then Winnie saved Frances. But Frances stayed around Gabi, and slowly that anger turned into a warmth she had only felt when she was 5.

Gabi opened a corner store, and she took in Frances to help stocking, and Frances talked to all her neighbours more and more, and they told her their problems, Dusty couldn’t think of a birthday present for Pippa, Coen lost one of Takeshi’s tools and didn’t know what to do. Frances started working out solutions and getting better and better at giving advice, and suddenly she found she loved helping others more than anything.

Sarah left when Frances was 12, her last tie to her biological family running off to be a sailor, and Frances cursed her out, hating her more than anything. Frances spent more time with her dad, Dai had never been very active but something about losing Sarah broke him. He stopped teaching Frances on his old fender, and stopped fighting with Finlay, he barely ate and barely left his room. Frances started taking care of him, making him food every day and cleaning his room, making him get changed and doing his laundry, she took on the job of doing groceries and taking care of the entire house, her love for music got overshadowed as she worked and worked and worked.

Frances saw Finlay less and less and Amari and Gabi more, spending all her very limited free time helping Amari garden and Gabi run her shop. She felt fulfilled when every second of her day was filled with jobs, she made a name for herself always offering help around the town, if she wasn’t working for Gabi she’d clean for her grandparents or work at Dusty’s pub. Today Frances has forgot how to care about herself at all.

#ender talks #enders ocs #enders writing #some oc shit yeah whoo

[maize-is-lost]

I've recently started working on a Pikmin AU story. Not quite done with the first chapter but I figured it would be fun to post what I've got so far.

-

There’s something funny about how different characters will start the same story. No matter how far apart they live, no matter how they were raised, no matter what they’re doing at the start, eventually they will all spin into the same yarn.

For Olimar, the story begins with an unexpected banging against the hull of the S.S. Dolphin as it flies through deep space. 

For Louie, the story begins when he’s called to the President’s office for an “imperative” mission.

A little over a month has passed since his coworker’s disappearance. At first he doesn’t realize anything’s wrong. Anyone who’s spent any time with Olimar knows how much the man loves his family; and while he loves his job, he often laments how it keeps him away from his wife and children. When he doesn’t come back from vacation on time, Louie just assumes the man had quit and moved on to better things. He wouldn’t have blamed him. The assumption explains why the President becomes more and more nervous in the following days. What it doesn’t explain is why Olimar’s wife keeps showing up at Hocotate Freight’s headquarters to yell at Louie’s boss.

His first thought is that maybe she was just that salty over how much her husband had been overworked these last few months. 

Then he realizes the S.S. Dolphin isn’t where it’s usually stored. Olimar loved that ship, but he definitely wasn’t making enough money to buy it off of the company.

There’s whispers of a lawsuit.

Or worse, an internal investigation.

The company must have hooked her up with some really good insurance though, because she stops coming around after a few weeks. Everyone who didn’t quit during the chaos breathes a sigh of relief. It’s pretty easy to move on after that, they just have to work a little harder while the company hires new workers to replace what they’ve lost. 

Not long after that, people start receiving The Transmission.

Yeah, capital “The,” capital “T.” It’s necessary.

Most people hear about it from, well, the news. Louie doesn’t watch the news, though. Instead, he gets called up to the President’s office.

“Louie, my boy, you remember Olimar, don’t you?” Louie nods. He’s never been the best at remembering faces, but he imagines he could pick Olimar out in a photo (as long as he was surrounded by people who looked nothing like Olimar. It had been almost two months since he’d last seen his coworker, after all). “I’m sure you’ve been worried sick ever since he disappeared, I know I have!” the President wipes a nonexistent tear from his eye. Louie tries to keep from rolling his.

“Anyway, some great news has just come in. Have you seen Space Broadcast Inc.’s latest report?” Louie shakes his head. The President picks up a remote and turns, switching on a large TV on the other side of the room. It flickers on to a news report narrated by a woman with a swoop of pink hair covering her face. “Looks like they’re showing it again,” the President chortles.

“Earlier today, several parties received a mysterious transmission from a previously undiscovered planet,” the pink haired woman reports from a spaceship launch site. “This transmission shook the stars when it was discovered that it was sent by a missing captain from Hocotate Freight.”

Louie’s stomach turns. It hasn’t escaped his notice that he’s the only person the President called. He doesn’t like where this is going.

The video of the pink haired woman changes to a split screen. One side shows Olimar’s work ID photo while the other side shows captions as the transmission plays.

“My name is Captain Olimar. I am a delivery pilot with Hocotate Freight. While traveling, I crash landed on an undetected planet. I have limited life support remaining and am unable to repair my ship. Please send help as soon as possible.”

This time, Louie can’t help but shiver at the voice that plays while his coworker’s face is on screen. The audio is crunchy, but he can tell that the speaker’s voice is a smooth baritone, like honey dripping off a spoon. It’s oddly calm given the situation that had been described. 

There’s one thing he knows for certain.

That wasn’t Olimar’s voice.

The two of them hadn’t spent much time together in the month after Louie started working at Hocotate Freight, but what time they had worked together had often been filled with Olimar’s anecdotes or analyses. The man filled the silence wherever he went. At the time, Louie hadn’t minded. Olimar never expected him to respond verbally like most other people did. He wouldn’t have minded working with Olimar longer, really. But either way, Louie had heard enough of Olimar’s voice to recognize it even after all this time. The voice in the video was similar, sure, but it wasn’t nearly as expressive as the Captain’s. And there was something about the tone, something he couldn’t place, that didn’t settle right in his stomach.

Louie opens his mouth to say something, but the President has been talking this whole time and doesn’t notice Louie’s poor attempt to interrupt.

“-anyway I read the data logs he sent with the message and it looks like this mysterious planet is full of treasure! Enough to pull us out of debt and keep us out of the red for decades! So as soon as I heard other crews were heading to that planet I decided that I’d send you, one of my best workers, to find Olimar and track down that treasure!”  

Louie leaves the office with a mission and a newfound sense of dread. He doesn’t have long before he’s expected to leave, and there’s no telling when he’ll be back. He needs to pack. He needs to call his grandmother.

What are you supposed to say to someone when you don’t know if you’ll come home alive?

(Update: second part has been posted)

#pikmin #pikmin au #pikmin fanfic #basically this au takes inspiration from all five pikmin games and squishes them together in one story #the first question i asked myself was 'what if louie acts the way he does because he believes he's in a horror game. what if he was right.' #and the result is going to be sooooo self indulgent and so so so much fun. at least to me. #please feel free to send me asks about this I have so many thoughts and no idea when the full introduction chapter will be done #four riders au

[kitoral]

your art is immediately one of my new favorite things. i am politely begging for a timelapse/speeddraw one of these days from you, so we can observe your process? i haven't really tried grayscale to color painting before and the results from your art is breathtaking. id also adore prints of your work if you ever consider it!

hi there,

i will have to look into making a speedpaint one of these days, as i agree that it would be helpful. i often refer questions to this post, as its the most in-depth discussion of my process. however, i also understand that this isn't exactly specific, or helpful for those who'd like more details.

i've also thought about doing prints as well. right now i'm looking into what site(s)/services would be the best. charms and/or stickers may be a possibility as well, so stay tuned :3

thank you again, and my apologizes for the late reply!

[yanderes-galore]

Hi! Can I request Freddy Krueger from the original Nightmare on elm street? Maybe like a chase scenario in the reader’s dreams? Id also like to request from your recent prompts vol 1 #44: “your tongue is so sharp…wouldn’t it be a shame if I had to silence it?” (But only if it’s doable for you! ^^’)

I hope your day is going well! Much love and good wishes to you! ❤️

Yeah! Let's be honest, this version of Kruegar is one of the best ^^ Probably OOC, I am so sorry if it is.

Yandere! Freddy Krueger Prompt 44

"Your tongue is so sharp... wouldn't it be a shame if I had to silence it?"

Pairing: Romantic (Barely)

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Torture, Blood, Graphic descriptions, Removal of tongue, Insomnia, Wishes for death, Sadism, Mostly just for horror, Implied drug use.

It kept getting worse, you were never able to get a good night's sleep. Your dreams recently kept contorting into twisted realities of blood and steam. You always woke up, hyped on adrenaline before being more tired than before.

You blamed it on the recent murder cases within Springwood. The fear caused by the news must be affecting your dreams. It didn't help you always hallucinated due to the lack of sleep-

It felt like people whispered in your ear when no one was there. You even see silhouettes of a man with a bladed hand. It's just... sleep deprivation, that's all!

You tried to ignore it when said hallucinations talk to you...

The therapist you go to now keeps trying to give you sleep medication...

Yet you don't think it's safe to sleep.

In fact, the last time you tried to sleep, you were traumatized. The last time you slept you were sent to the boiler room again, met face to face with a man covered in burn scars. A sinister grin is on his face, bladed hand caressing your skin.

"I've been waiting for when you'd take a nap. Now the fun begins...!"

By the time you managed to wake yourself up, momentarily escaping his grasp, the damage was done. Your body was clawed... blood seeping into your clothes. These were not ordinary nightmares...

This was something supernatural.

From that point on, you refused to consider sleeping. You did whatever you could to fight such an urge. You abused whatever substance you could get your hands on....

In the end it was a futile effort, due to the mind shutting down during micro naps.

You were doomed since the moment he had his eyes on you.

"Finally gave in, did you? Thought you'd miss me~"

You could only run for so long. Even in a dream, it felt real enough to make you heave for breath due to your stamina. The boiler room was like a maze, trapping you in with a monster.

The end was inevitable. Like a cornered rabbit, you would find a dead end. Forced to accept your fate at the sharp hands of a killer.

One that seemed too real to be conjured from your mind.

"Is my little rabbit tired from running?"

You glare at him, looking for some other way of escape. Upon touching the boiler room's pipes, you yelp. Your hands are burned... was this even a dream?

"I'm not your rabbit..." You snarl. "I'd never be yours."

"What makes you so sure, (Y/N)?"

He knows your name....

"I'd never allow myself to be near anyone like you..." You seethe, anger from your lack of sleep soaking your words. "You've tortured me for the past few months... why would I roll over and comply to whatever you wish after that!?"

"If your life's on the line, it's surprising what you'd do."

The man in front of you spits back, looking irritated at your sudden rebellion... yet interested.

"My dear (Y/N)..."

You blink and the demon's right in front of you. You gasp, senses heightened due to your lack of sleep. He takes this to his advantage, holding your mouth open by your chin.

"Your tongue is so sharp... wouldn't it be a shame if I had to silence it?"

You struggle against him, still trying to fight back. You nearly gag when he reaches his hand into your mouth... pulling your tongue painfully tight into his view. You shake your head with your eyes wide in fear.

"Good, your fear is delightful. You're more obedient than you think.... Too bad it won't save your tongue."

He slowly drags his blades against the twitching muscle in his hand. You try to pull back, fighting him. Tears prick your eyes... which only fuels his sadistic desires.

"Oh, want to leave so soon? Fine then, have it your way, baby."

There's a sickening wet snap before you feel yourself fall to the floor. His blades are coated in your blood, a laugh leaving his lips at your condition. You barely registered what happened until blood pooled out of your mouth.

Something then slaps onto the ground, your shaking gaze shifting towards it.

Your tongue.

The madman removed your tongue as promised.

"Anymore complaints, (Y/N)?"

The demon watches you spit continuous blood onto the floor before lifting your chin up to look him in the eyes.

What did you do to deserve this?

You gurgle softly, unable to speak.

"Speak up, won't you?"

He leans back and laughs at your suffering before dragging you up to your feet.

"It's upsetting to not hear your screams... but at least you can't refuse what I have in store for you, baby...."

As if to mock you, he licks his lips. You're in too much shock to respond to his sadism. You only silently wonder if your suffering will end soon.

If you're lucky, maybe you'll bleed out...

Then you won't have to suffer through anymore of his desires.

#yandere slashers #yandere slasher #yandere freddy krueger

[elizmanderson]

2023 wrap-up, part 4

click here for part 1 | click here for part 2 | click here for part 3

pole fitness

aka my new obsession

shortly before my debut novel released, I went to a showcase at a friend's dance studio. the studio has a lot of body diversity, so the pole dances included lots of plus size women looking sexy and confident as hell, which had me feeling like "damn I want that"

afterward, I told my friend I was thinking about trying pole aaaaaaaaaand she immediately bought me a drop-in class so I had to stop thinking and skip to trying lol

I'm grateful for that, because honestly? that's what I needed. I'm convinced I would've tried it eventually, but it would've taken at least another six months of waffling

video ID: a young white person in glasses, a teal tank top, and red booty shorts, with dark hair in a bun, walking around a pole and pulling themself up onto the pole so they look like they're sitting in an invisible chair beside it. she straightens her legs, turns her body, and pulls her legs back up so now she's going backwards in the invisible chair. finally, they swing their legs around straight on either side of the pole and let go with one hand before swinging off the pole. music is Vanessa Carlton's Thousand Miles. end ID.

p.s. you can't tell in the video but there is text on my tank top over the left breast that says "stet for voice, bitch"

anyway, I've been doing pole for about eight months now and I just *anime fist clench* love it so much oh my god. it's the first sport I've ever loved, the first workout I've ever been determined to get to rather than looking for excuses to skip it, and this is the best about my body I've probably ever felt.

and I have a community at the studio! like I went to the holiday party and I wasn't sure about it because I didn't think my friend would be there, but I made some new friends and had a great time ♥

click here to see more pole videos on my instagram. officially, it's my author instagram. unofficially, I'm far more consistent in posting weekly pole videos than I am in posting book stuff lolol

#2023 wrap up #2023 wrapped #wrap up #pole fitness

[zegrvshvghes]

Cheater, liar, whatever it was or wasn’t it’s over now-NH13

I also do not and would never think that nico is a cheater it’s just for the plot don’t get mad freaks.😛

As I sit here in my empty apartment, tears streaming down my face, I can't help but feel like the biggest fool in the world. How could I have been so blind? How could I have trusted Nico so completely, only to have him betray me in the worst way possible?

I remember the day I discovered his infidelity like it was yesterday. It was a Tuesday, and I had gotten off work early because I wasn't feeling well. I decided to surprise Nico with lunch at his house, thinking it would be a nice pick-me-up for both of us. But what I walked in on was a scene straight out of a nightmare.

There he was, hunched over his kitchen table, his lips locked with a woman I didn't recognize. At first, I thought it was some kind of mistake, that maybe they were just joking around. But then I saw the way Nico's hands were roaming all over her body, and I knew in an instant that there was nothing innocent about what was going on.

I didn't even wait for them to notice me before I turned and ran out of the room, my vision blurred by tears. I don't remember much of what happened after that – just snippets of Nico's voice on the phone, begging me to come back, and me screaming at him, telling him I never wanted to see him again.

The days that followed were a blur of pain and heartache. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't even bring myself to leave the house. I just sat there, staring at the walls, wondering how I was ever going to move on from the man who had once been my everything.

And now here I am, a month later, still reeling from the aftershocks of Nico's betrayal. I've tried to keep busy, to distract myself with work and friends, but it's always there, nagging at the back of my mind. The nights are the worst – I lie in bed, staring up at the ceiling, imagining Nico with that other woman, wondering how many times he'd done it before I caught him.

Sometimes, when I'm feeling particularly weak, I'll pick up the phone and dial Nico's number. He always answers, his voice thick with regret and apologies, but I can never bring myself to say anything. Part of me wants to forgive him, to go back to the way things were before, but the other part knows that I could never trust him again, not after what he did.

I try to tell myself that it's his loss, that he's the one who messed up and lost the best thing that ever happened to him, but it's hard to internalize that when all I feel is the crushing weight of betrayal. How could he do this to me? Didn't he know how much I loved him, how much I trusted him?

And the worst part of it all is knowing that, no matter how much I try to move on, how many new relationships I try to forge, that betrayal will always be a part of me. It will always be lurking in the back of my mind, whispering doubts and fears into my ear. I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to fully trust anyone again, not after what Nico did to me.

But for now, all I can do is pick up the pieces and try to move on. It's not easy, and some days it feels impossible, but I know that eventually I'll be able to heal, to find someone who deserves my love and trust. And maybe, just maybe, I'll be able to forgive Nico, even if I can never forget what he did to me.

id get back with nico if he cheated on me a million times i would not care

#nico #hischier #nico hischier #nhl #hockey #nico x trader #nico hischier x reader #njd

[omniaspec-rat]

cw: transx, ableism, "transautistic"

Okay, so to save some spoons of making an id of a screenshot, I preferred to just copy and paste this text that I found because. it's just too much anger to handle alone.

To help my impulsive little friends who will also get angry if they see this, I've placed the text below the cut. Just to quench your curiosity, it's all transid bullshit with "tips for passing as a transautistic" coming from an autistic (or, as they say, "cisautistic") person, and some vent of mine.

"Tips for transautistic folks (from somesys who's cisautistic and sucks at articulating things):

Buy/borrow fidget toys. Trust me, nobody really cares about you having them as long as you aren't being disruptive.

Find something, obsess over it. Hyperfixations and special interests, especially the latter, are often regarded as an "autistic thing".

Buy. Noise. Dampening/cancelling. Headphones. They're just Good.

Fun fact: autism often increases one's tendency to dissociate. Indulge in daydreams, forget the world.

If you want to be bitey, get chewelry. It's less destructive than most other things. (Bonus for permatoddlers and other younger transage folks: works as a teether stand-in)

If you're in a crowded place and it's possible, block out the people sounds with music.

Most importantly, remember that autism has a basically infinite number of presentations and you can just do whatever makes you feel best."

I don't even know where to start. I'm just shaking with rage. And a little sadness. And a feeling that this will definitely become an "argument" for my OCD later on. It's just... unbelievable and horrible and disgusting and all that. I'm too angry to even speak.

I spent my life being told I was weird for all these things. Being told that I should try to be more "normal". And my god, I tried so hard. Very much. And I couldn't. And then, when I finally found the truth, that I was AUTISTIC and that my brain was structurally different... Now I am faced with people trying to imitate what I and other people like me do. Trying to pretend this is how their brain works because "it's cool and euphoric". And if I complain, all I'll hear is that I'm being "ungrateful" because "finally someone likes your traits enough to imitate, and now you complain about it?" as if I don't have the right to be mad about it.

The whole history of autism was based on a very simple definition of "having a brain that works differently from the rest, that works in these specific ways, which can be very variable, but are always out of the ordinary". So what does someone with the perfectly non-autistic brain think they can come along and call themselves autistic because they're constantly going out of their way to pretend they are one?

Say what you want. Compare me to how many horrible groups you can think of on the tip of your tongue and throw all sorts of nonsensical arguments that somehow equate me with real transphobics. You are not autistic. You guys can behave however you want, I don't care, I'd love for you to have the chance to be happy behaving in whatever way makes you feel most authentic, but DON'T YOU DARE calling yourself autistic. You are not autistic and no amount of lying you want to use to convince others or yourself changes that. And I'm tired of pretending I'm not seething with rage over all this crap.

I feel TERRIBLE writing this but I am exceptionally exhausted from you all, no matter how much I spend a solid 2 hours blocking you from every rq tag in existence, next week somehow there will be 1000 more new rq accounts ready to spoil my day, and they'll still say it's "only block it if you don't want to see it", as if I'm not almost crying and begging your ableist community to get away from me and still have to watch shit like this constantly

#sorry for anyone who read this #i'm so bad right now and i needed to vent #maybe i'll even delete it later or not... not sure #tw transx #tw transid #tw radqueer #tw vent #tw ableism

[xseizure-candyx]

*tries to be mean- fails*

Dan x reader

(Introductory chapter, thats all)

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the sun was bright, the sky clear and the breeze was cool, all this to say that i was having the worst day of my life atm. my dad was being the biggest dick head in the entire world and because he cant handle any kind of emotion or female at that he kicks me out in the blink of an eye, im sorry but im not a maid. i had to pack in a day, be out and hunting the next, and just yesterday was i approved to move into my new apartment, my own space that i can dominate to do what i want, i should be happy to be on my own at my big age of 21 but for some reason i feel bad for leaving an old man alone, but then again im not dealing with his yelling and commanding for any longer. at this moment i am moving in, i have to carry each, and every, LARGE BOX, up stairs and into my apartment MYSELF. i make my way back down to the moving van and so happen to see someone standing by it with two other people i don't know, i got a little anxious because i wanted to be a bit more on the down low but damn, three people at once. as i got closer i was able to register the people, a tall built blonde, an average sized purple haired woman and a short dark haired man. they seem friendly from afar but as i got closer and into their bubble the small mans energy makes me a little more on guard, i didn't say a word as i got closer because all i heard was the smaller man ranting about how no one was allowed to move in because its only ever an inconvenience to him and how all people are stupid and problems only come from new people. i just stood behind him and listened, by the time the other two noticed me but he was facing away from me, they looked at him and pointed in my direction. He was mid sentence when he glanced my way "OH, AND I SUPPOSE YOUR THE-" he abruptly looked me over and clasped his hands behind him and straightened his back "ooooh, you must be my new neighbor! im dan and this is my best friend Chris........and his wife Elise" he gestured to the other two people who were waving at me "hello, and welcome to the neighborhood i hope you're not moving all of this in yourself" Elise said, i smiled and introduced myself "its nice to meet you, im (y/n)". dans eyes haven't moved from my form at all but i act like i don't notice how weird he is to not hurt his feelings or embarrass him " uuuh, yeah. im kinda on my own but ill be ok" i smiled tiredly. Elise and Chris immediately volunteer to help me carry boxes into my house but i deny it to be nice, though i really do need help "dont worry (y/n) its not a problems at all we wouldn't want you to tire yourself out on your first day in your new apartment" Chris said. i smiled and looked at all of them " thank you so much, you guys are some of the kindest people I've met so far" i purposely didn't make eye contact with dan when saying that, and it caused him to to quip in " i can help, im nice too!" feeling bad i looked at him and smiled " of course id appreciate it, and maybe i can make us all dinner when we are finished" the blonde man with a box already in his arms snapped his head in my direction "yes please" and i giggled at that, hes funny and his wife is really sweet, i might want to consider a friendship, but dan is.... i don't know right now but we'll see.

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After placing a few things that need to be put in place, i sat chris elise and dan in the living room and allow them to pick what to watch and even play games, but dan was consistent on getting in the kitchen to stare up at me and ask questions every 5 minutes like a toddler. I give up and sigh "look dan if your going to ask so many questions then you might as well put on that apron and help" it was silent, but seconds later dan has a stepping stool pulled up next to me and is wearing a frilly pink apron, i giggled at how willing he is to help me all of a sudden, hes been quieter ever since hes first saw me, almost like hes thinking constantly but about what, its not like hes not enjoying my company, i show him what to cut and how to cut it and he listens, him helping is making the process quicker. We both go to grab the last tomato and our hands touch, his on top of mine, even though i did jump a little he didn't move away at first, as if he liked the contact, when he did pull his hand away he was furrowing his brows and blushing "I-I FORGOT I HAVE TO GO FEED MR MUMBLES" and ran through the door and im assuming to his apartment. 'hm....whats all this about now' I shrug it off and scramble to finish the pasta i was making and go to sit with chris and elise with our plates "hey wheres dan" i shrugged my shoulders and sat his food in front of him and elise and sit with my own "something about feeding mr mumbles, i suppose its a cat or dog but ill head over and give him his food later im hungry right now" and with that we all ate, and after we ate we talked and even played games, and when it was time for them to leave it was late, i walked them to their car and hugged them both "thank you guys for all the help, i couldnt have asked for a better first experience and i hope we can become good friends" i say and smile "well with that meal you just cooked us consider us buddies!!!" Chris said out of his window "yea well be sure to keep in touch and maybe we can help you seek out stuff for your apartment too!" Elise had quipped, and after all of our goodbyes they drove off. After i watch them drive off i make my way up stairs and back to my apartment, as im passing each window i stopped by dans because i heard what sounded like ranting but it wasnt like earlier, where he was angry and sporadic but more low and gentle, sounded like he was kinda disappointed or sad. An idea pops into my head, maybe hes just alone and doesnt like when he feels left out, so i headed to my apartment and got two slices of cake and his dinner and went to dans, i will share this cake with him and hopefully become best neighbors and even friends, maybe then he wont be so awkward, i knocked on his door and smiled for hospitality, but for some reason it took a short while for dan to answer. i go to knock again when the door is swung open and dan is standing there looking a little down, not sad but not too enthused either "hey dan....i noticed you missed dinner so....i thought id bring it over for you, also i was hoping we could share dessert and you know...talk, get to know each other?" For a split second fear was shown on his face and while his eyes darted around his apartment he wasn't looking too sure"i-i would be honored to enjoy dessert with you, its just- my apartment is a mess" and he held his door wide open in shame. i peer in with no visible reaction but holy hell was it cluttered, usually people with depression or deteriorating mental state cant clean or notice when its too dirty, they just dont process it the same. I frown dont at dan with sympathy "dan im not one to judge but have you ever consider asking for help, i mean im sure no one wants to see you like this" his eyebrows furrow and he clenches his fist "NO BECAUSE IM NOT WEAK I CAN HANDLE THINGS ON MY OWN" aah there it is "what if i offer to come over and help ill even make us lunch" i say sweetly, purposefully sounding cute, he groans and blushes, then fidgets with his hands "ok but......dont mock me or use this against me, ill ruin your life" he said the last part as a threat, i smiled

#dan vs x reader #dan vs fanart #dan vs #dan mandel #dan vs fanfiction

[cubedmango]

hi!! i just wanted to let you know that i started reading cherry magic in july last year after seeing the anime announced on toyota-sensei's twitter! i couldn't even rlly translate the announcement myself without the help of google translate LMAO but her illustration of them looked so sweet i had to snoop around. more than half a year later. i am no longer normal and my brain is fully rotted over and i think of those two nearly every waking moment!! your art, along with so many others feeds me and your translations are So Appreciated thank you for doing gods work. i usually don't get super involved in fandom or w/e other than consuming fanart or fics so the fact i find myself actually drawing them is so new to me...idk cherry magic really is so refreshing and it's just nice as an adult to see a mature relationship between two working adults. there are callbacks to childhood or childlike behaviors or interests sprinkled throughout the manga's dialogue and i always appreciated how they weren't seen as embarrassing or immature to embrace or learn from as an adult, but encouraged or seen as a valuable part of balancing work, life, and love. idk it's def one of the more subtle and less expanded upon parts of it but i love how adachi's and kurosawa's love of manga, though seen as a children's activity (from how kurosawa thought people saw it) was actually one of their first mutual hobbies. it's also interesting to see how many things about kurosawa's psyche are remnants of ideas probably for a lack of better wording, were taught to him from an early age. his self-image, how he tries to uphold certain societal standards, etc etc. im glad he found refuge in adachi that way. im sorry for rambling for so long but i've just been thinking about these two so much ldks

anon pls u never have to apologize for rambling abt my fav guys of all time, u should actually talk w me about them more i want to hear ur thoughts !! the eng speaking fandom isnt that big (or at least i dont get to interact w a lot of ppl personally) but its fun making art and doing the translations for my blorbos so im happy other ppl enjoy it too 🥺

and yess everything u said abt the childlike/immature stuff krdc enjoy like the fact that their interest in manga and stuff is never made fun of or anything (which would be ironic anyway since theyre In a manga themselves fdkjskf) but actually one of the things that gets them closer is So good augh?? (also spoilers for the radio drama if u havent seen it yet, but to me one of the best changes they made was changing the port scenes setting to an anime con instead like Yeah!! theyre little nerd guys of course theyd attend a con!!!! that plus how they both like watching animated movies and playing games too like its a very specific thing to Me but that relatability w stuff i do myself makes them both feel a lot more human? if that makes sense)

also w kurosawas whole deal its Definitely a longterm thing hes had for a while, and in canon its mostly been his friendships/relationships that affected him (probs the most clear in ch45 my beloved) but from the way the meeting w his parents went theres for sure a lot of parental/family pressure involved too?? this is going into hc territory but i have like a whole Thing brewing in my head about kurosawas and maris relations w their parents and how that affected their self image and all growing up too and i rlly wanna make stuff for it someday (idk if anyone would be interested but id probably do it regardless so fkdjksjfk)

#the full idea actually is for a whole mari spinoff as like a fic or smth bc i care her immensely . but that is ambitious even for me lol #i have Thoughts about these siblings though like their issues intrigue me so bad. so much wrong w them i need to pick apart #and similarly w adachi being a child of divorce like! thats got to have influenced him right. i Have To Know #i think about these charas a normal amount as u can tell 👍 #my answer

[mikimeiko]

Day 3 - Ljubljana>Rijeka

Had a minor heart attack on my way to the station when I thought I forgotten at the hotel/lost my id but luckily I had just misplaced it so all is well.

The train is very pretty (I love the cyan/teal-ish blue of Slovenian railways) and it has compartments! (Is this the right word? I have no idea, but Google says it is the translation of scompartimenti so...)

I haven't traveled in a train with compartments in years, the seats are very spacious and comfy <3 also the train is not very busy and I got a 6 seats compartment all to myself :D

The weather is looking promising when I leave Ljubljana but gets greyer and greyer along the way. It's still a very pretty journey though.

(that's a picture of the sea. If you squint and look at the lightest part of the image you can kind of guess a reflection of the cloud in the water XD)

I love that many of the station we're passing through have a steam locomotive on the premise (this is actually something I also noticed in Italy this summer and I have to say I love this trend, put those locomotives on display!)

They checked my id twice on the train, once in the last station in Slovenia and once in the first in Croatia (now that I think about it this also happened when I was travelling in the other direction five years ago, the only border crossing where they checked our passports twice instead of just once - at least I think it was this one, I might be wrong).

I did not get the best start in Rijeka. My hotel never answered my question about leaving luggage early, so I decided to go grab a coffee and then maybe lunch waiting for check in time. Only the currency here is kuna and every ATM I check seems out of order? D: then it starts raining and for a bit everything seems very bleak. But then of course I did find an ATM, and a way to change the big bills the ATM gave me, and a nice coffee place where I can finally have a coffee and relax a bit (I've been in Rijeka for more than an hour. As I said, not the best start) (later I found out that the problem with the ATMs is that Croatia is actually switching to the euro on January 1st... Good job Maddalena for choosing the actual worst time for coming here XD)

Also I really wish I was one of those people that are not particularly affected by the weather, but I am! All this grey and white and fog and rain is really bumming me out. I can see that Rijeka is a pretty place, I can, but I can't feel it right now. Let's hope the sky will open up just a tiny bit, just to see some sun!

I ate lunch sitting outside because they didn't have seats inside and the temperature seemed bearable but I don't know if it got colder or if it was just sitting/digestion but by the end of the meal I was freezing XD

My new room is quite cute, it also has a small kitchen inside! But it's pretty cold D: luckily there a kettle in the hall and I can make tea! (also it's not that cold, I was just really frozen from lunch)

I take a walk along the harbour around sunset. The light is quite magical, but the sky is so cloudy you cannot really tell it's sunset XD

I also go back to the centre and especially the old town, but it keeps raining, then stopping, then raining... And every bench is wet, and it's stupidly warm, and my feet hurt because the two pair of shoes I brought with me (my two pairs of very warm shoes) are not the comfiest, and also I got my period today and I keep trying to make it work, to turn this feeling around, but maybe tonight is just not the right night.*

So I grab some yummy looking things at the supermarket, plus a tea I never tried before, and head back to my room.

**I wasn't sure about adding this part, I never am. On one hand this is like... personal and maybe not that interesting for others. On the other, I distinctly remember the relief I felt on my first solo trip when, after days of rollercoasting from sheer delight to abject bleakness, another traveller told me "these past days, before my friends got here, were really hard on me, I was crying at least once a day". That moment of "oh, this is normal, this doesn't mean that I'm not meant to be doing this, I can cry and then keep going anyway if I like it enough!". And so I'd rather share the hard parts too, just in case someone reads this before they try it or while they're doing it.

#travel #croatia #rijeka #winter break 2022 #mag travels from time to time #i just want a tag for the things i personally put out into the world