#i'm putting jade on hold right now i feel like she's not really wanted lol | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

so-cool-day6 · 4 years

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ok here this suggestive n kinda smutty kevin thing

i'm absolutely no real writer so i apologize in advance lol

i wanna put some warnings to b safe, again ive never done this but i wanna do my best hshhsshshh

- slight degradation

- implied rlly rough sex

- mention of hair pulling

- color system

also i proofread this a million times but knowing me there's probably a million mistakes still, sorry

Never did I expect that "Jade" wasn't Jade at all.

Never did I expect that "Jade" was Kevin Moon undercover on deobi stan twitter.

Never did I expect that Kevin Moon would find my thirst tweets so hilarious that he wanted to hear more about them.

The moment Jade accidentally said "I" instead of "Kevin" in a message, I knew something felt fishy.

But he played it off so well, I soon forgot about it.

But those things just kept happening.

Sometimes it didn't take Jade very long at all to think up how Kevin would react to something.

Sometimes the answers seemed so extremely accurate, they could only have been from Kevin himself.

And when I finally put all the many pieces together?

Oh boy. I was pissed. And immensely embarrassed.

But not near as embarrassed as I know I'm about to be in a few minutes.

I'm only a few people away from going up to the fansign table to meet The Boyz.

I wasn't gonna come. I wasn't even gonna enter. I knew it would be far too embarrassing and humiliating to see Kevin in real life after all the explicit things I said about him, inadvertently directly to him.

But when your best friend begs you to enter with her, you enter with your best friend.

And when you and your best friend both win, and she begs you to go so she isn't alone... you go so she isn't alone.

She owes me big time for this one.

Thank goodness that Kevin isn't first...

As I talk to Jacob, Chanhee, Sangyeon, and Eric, I was glad to discover that, even if he shared every conversation we ever had, Kevin at least hadn't show any of them what I looked like.

But my conversation with Eric is ending, and Kevin is smirking, telling me that he has already noticed me.

Time to die, I guess.

I say goodbye to Eric, give him a high five, and move to the next seat in front of Kevin Moon.

"Well, well, well." He smiles. "Fancy seeing you here."

I try to laugh. "Yeah..."

"Why so shy? You weren't this shy on twitter."

"Yeah, when I wasn't talking to Kevin Moon."

"Ah, but you were. You were talking to Kevin."

I simply roll my eyes in response and look down at my hands, trying to keep my face from getting too red.

"Listen, I do wanna apologize. I shouldn't have manipulated you like that."

"It's okay... I can't blame you. If I were in your position, I can't say I wouldn't do the same thing. And there wasn't any real harm done, right? As long as it doesn't get out."

"Although, I must say..." His eyes darken. "I kind of liked hearing your thoughts about me. Especially in such detail." His hand lands on my thigh under the table and he feels me instantly tense up. He cracks a smile and chuckles. "I really do have an effect on you, don't I?" His voice is barely above a whisper, and his grip on my thigh tightens. "Just tell me if you want me to take my hand away and I will. Instantly. No questions asked."

"Okay." I think for a moment. Do I? Do I want him to move?

He looks at me expectantly, waiting for more of a response.

"I'll tell you if I do." I can feel my face heat up as I make my decision.

He smirks.

"I love how flustered you get." His thumbs slowly rubs the inner part of my thigh, thanks to his hand placement, and chills run up and down my back.

"Hurry up." A staff member says behind him, making sure the line doesn't get held up.

While Kevin's hand on my thigh isn't visible to the crowd, it IS visible to the staff. But they don't seem phased, nor do they seem to care.

Does Kevin have a habit of feeling up fans under the table or do they just wanna go home?

He leaves a cold spot on my leg as he pulls his hand away and quickly signs my album.

He answers the question post-it, which is actually a question from my Kevin-biased friend who couldn't try for a fansign slot, and then he flips the post-it up and writes something on the album page underneath the post-it.

"Move." The staff tells me. Kevin gives me a high five to look casual and throws me a wink as subtly as possible.

I continue on through the rest of the line, trying to keep my composure, especially when talking with Sunwoo and Changmin.

I may have said... a lot about them to Kevin.

A lot.

The fansign finally ends, and I don't remember Kevin writing something under the post-it note until the drive back to my friend's house.

"Hilton on Portico

Room 347

Should be back by 8

I'll have Q out of our room by 8:05

Hope to see you there"

No way.

No, he's kidding.

He's kidding right?

Did he just ask me to meet him in his hotel room tonight?

Why?

He doesn't want to... no.

No, that's impossible.

Why would he want to-

"Are you even listening?" My friend snaps me out of my thoughts and I quickly cover Kevin's message.

"Sorry, I spaced out... Can't stop thinking about meeting them, yknow?"

My hand raises to knock on the door, before I pull it back down.

8:06, my watch reads.

I shouldn't be here.

I shouldn't be here, right?

This is insane...

Maybe he wants to lecture me.

Maybe he wants to yell at me.

Why would he wanna yell at me after what he did at the fansign, though?

I shake my head and raise my hand to knock again.

No matter why he wants to see me at his hotel room, he wants to see me at his hotel room.

It must be important.

I carefully knock, suddenly regretting all of my life choices as I wait for him to open the door.

What if Changmin is still in the room?

What if his manager is in the room?

What if he wrote down the wrong room number?

What if he was just trying to play with me all along, and they aren't even at this hotel?

The door swings open and Kevin's face lights up.

"You came..." He sounds shocked, as if meeting Kevin Moon in his hotel room isn't a dream to many, many people. "Come in, please." He opens the door wider and steps to the side, allowing me to walk into the room. "I'm sorry it's still a mess... we have to refuse housekeeping services and I just got Changmin to leave a couple minutes ago. I didn't have a chance to tidy up for you..."

"No, no! It's no big deal, no worries. If only you saw my house, it's way worse..."

We stand in silence for a bit, both of us unsure exactly what to do next, when suddenly I gain a boost of confidence.

"Kevin, why am I here?"

He looks at me with eyes full of... I'm not sure what.

Thoughtfulness?

"I don't know. Why are you here?"

"You don't know? You're the one who told me to come." I scoffed.

"I know. But why did you come? What were you hoping would happen if you came to my hotel room? Or should I say..." His eyes darken again, just like they had at the fansign, and he steps towards me and takes my hand in his. "What are you still hoping will happen?"

All breath leaves me.

"Maybe I can jog your memory. Were you maybe hoping that I would... pull your hair and pound you from behind like you're nothing but my sorry cumslut?"

A sharp gasp involuntarily leaves my body as he boldly quotes one of the first things I ever told Jade, word for word. I can feel his ego boost by the second.

"Or maybe it was something more along the lines of..."

Kevin places his hands on my waist and pulls my body flush with his.

"Fingering you roughly until you're shaking and crying and begging for me to stop... but I don't."

Again, he quotes my own sexual fantasy to me, every word correct. Except this time it elicits a soft moan.

I can feel him hard against me, and I can't help but look away towards the floor in embarrassment.

"Look at me."

I can't bring myself to obey his command, no matter how much I want to.

"I said look at me." He grabs my chin and turns my face towards his, his eyes slowly moving away from my eyes and down to my lips.

His eyes and voice all tell me that he's having a hard time holding back, but he has to ask something first.

"Have you ever heard of the color system?"

"Yeah." I whisper, which is about the only volume I can muster up in the moment. "Like a traffic light, right?"

"Right. What color are you on right now?"

"Green."

"And what color would you be on if I kissed you?"

"Green."

That's all the approval he needs to quickly place one hand on the lower back of my head and softly press his lips into mine.

That softness does not last long, as the kiss soon turns into a quite passionate make out.

We begin to migrate, lips still together, until our legs hit the edge of the bed and Kevin pulls away from me.

"Your fantasies aren't soft. And you've got such a hold on me, I can't promise to be either. I don't wanna do anything that makes you uncomfortable, upset, or negatively helpless. I want you to use the colors. Is that okay with you?" Somehow his continuous consent checks make him a hundred times sexier.

"I can do that."

"Don't hesitate at all to say any of the colors at any moment, if you feel you want to. Okay?" Yeah, the continuous consent checks are really sexy.

"Okay."

"Where are we at right now?"

"Green."

With that, he smirks and pushes me onto the bed, quickly crawling on top of me to reattach his lips to my own.

His beautiful hands begin to wander and feel my body. He finds my waistband and slowly slides his thumb under it.

I know he's taking it slow just in case I change my mind, which is very considerate, but it only makes me frustrated.

I push him away slightly with my hand.

"Can you hurry it up, Kev? You've had me wet since lunch." Is all i say before grabbing his shirt and pulling him back into me.

I can tell he's holding back some kind of reaction to what I just did.

His hand fully slides under my waistband, both of them, and he begins to slide his hand lower and towards the middle...

The embarrassment surrounding my encounters with Kevin are being replaced with thankfulness. Who would have thought that thirst tweets would land me in a hotel bed, getting fucked by Kevin Moon?

He's just made me cum for the third time.

First time with his mouth and fingers, then twice by railing me in two different positions.

He says yellow as he pulls out, and I nod.

We both need a breather.

He lays down next to me, both of us breathing quite heavily. I'm definitely breathing heavier, though. Curse his dancer cardiovascular health.

"So, what do you think we should-" Kevin is cut off by the sound of the door being unlocked with a key card, and his eyes go wide. He hurries to pull the blanket up over me, covering up my naked body from the view of whoever was coming in.

The fact that he doesn't care at all about his dick still hanging out loud and proud makes me wonder just how comfortable he is with all his members AND staff...

The person entering starts saying something in Korean, and all I can pick out is that he's addressing Kevin for something.

As the mystery person turns the corner and we meet eyes, both of us freeze for a moment.

Kevin scolds Ji Changmin in Korean, and Changmin responds, clearly upset at Kevin for something.

Kevin checks his phone and mutters an "oh".

"I'm sorry." Kevin turns to me. "I told Q to stay out until 10, thinking we'd be done by then... but I guess we've been having a little too much fun..."

The room reeks of awkwardness (and sex, but that's besides the point), until Changmin shyly raises his hand to wave at me.

"Hello. I'm Q."

I chuckle and wave back.

Kevin says something to Changmin. I'm unable to pick out any words to grasp at some sort of context before Changmin's eyes widen even further and he points at me, simply saying...

"Deobi?"

I nod.

Kevin's face suddenly turns devilish, and he starts talking to Changmin again.

I feel very out of the loop, but the way Changmin's face is turning beet red isn't making me optimistic as to what Kevin is saying.

"Kevin, what did you just tell him?"

Kevin keeps talking and Changmin's eyes dart back and forth from me to Kevin, and then I notice they glance down.

His grey sweatpants are not being very forgiving as to hiding his erection.

"Kevin!" I try a second time.

"What, baby? A man deserves to know what a sexy woman wants him to do to her."

I grab a pillow and throw it at him, hard, before hiding my face in the sheets.

Kevin apologizes in both English and Korean, and I hear Changmin giggle awkwardly.

Kevin says one last thing and I hear someone going through a suitcase.

I peek out from the sheets and see Changmin riffling through his bag, still replying to Kevin, before tossing something at Kevin.

Kevin thanks him, using one word of Korean I do know.

Changmin leaves, not before saying a kind goodbye to me, and Kevin turns to me.

"This might be fun, don't you think? If my memory is being kind to me, you've definitely mentioned me using one of these on you." He holds up the vibrator that Changmin threw at him.

What on earth does Changmin get up to on tour?

"Did he say anything about what you... told him?"

"He asked if you were gonna still be in town tomorrow. I sure hope you are, cause I said yes. And tomorrow it seems I'll be the one leaving the room all night... if you want to, of course."

I start getting wet again at the prospect.

"But don't think about him too much yet. I'm not done with you yet, baby." He clicks a button on the vibrator. "Green?"

"Green."

He looks at me like he's a hungry lion, before pouncing on me.

Rest time is over.

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THE UNGOLDY SCREECH THAT LEFT ME OMG THANK YOU FOR SENDING THIS IN

"Somehow his continuous consent checks make him a hundred times sexier" IT'S TRUE. I'm not okay. My mind was babble the entire time, especially when Changmin walked in 🤤 the idea of it all... beautiful 😍 is it okay if I tag this a tbz smut? I think more people deserve to read this. I'll delete the tags if you want me to!

#still screaming #submitted #🗝 anon #tbz smut #the boyz smut #kevin moon #submission #tbz reactions #the boyz reactions

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luckyjadeofliyue · 4 years

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Liyue Lantern Festival - Childe x OC.

Short Story. I got really inspired after finishing the fanart I made lol.

AGAIN, I AM NOT A WRITER. I MIGHT HAVE SOME GRAMMAR AND SENTENCE MISTAKES SO YEAH. YOU WERE WARNED :p

A cool breeze is always welcomed during this hot summer nights. Liyue has always been a busy city, but today is extra special. All-day long everyone has been preparing for the annual Summer Lantern Festival. Once a year, people around Liyue gather and celebrate this auspicious event with friends and family.

Liyue streets are filled with people; everyone excited and having fun. You can see some people dancing, laughing, singing, shopping and having the time of their lives. Children are running around with their lanterns on hand, screaming excitedly about having their wishes come true.

Jadiz only experienced joining this festival once in her life despite living in Liyue since birth. And it was only inside the Yu Clan Compound grounds as she was not allowed to leave the safety of their Clan's residence.

Jadiz walked towards the nearest stall selling lanterns, she looked around and saw a medium-sized white lantern with the lotus print in front of it. She had to tippy-toe to get it, gently taking it into her hand. She stared at the red lotus flower in front of it.

Lotus Flower, it's her and her late mother's favourite flower.

"Is it true that if I wished on a lantern today, it would come true?!", a younger 6 years old Jadiz asked the beautiful woman in front of her.

"Yes little lotus flower, as long as you believe it, then it will come true", her mother kneeled in front of her brushing away a stray curly hair in front of Jadiz's face.

A huge smile grew on Jadiz's face. "YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!", she screamed, jumping up and down in a place like a bunny. "Can I write my wish on the lantern now? Please, PLEASE!!!!", tugging on her mother's sleeve.

Her mother chuckled at her enthusiastic reactions. She handed over a small white lantern with the Lotus Flower print in front of it to the little Jadiz. "Here you go, my dear."

Jadiz took the small lantern, struggled a bit to balance herself. The small lantern looked bigger than it is on her tiny little arms. She struggled to walk towards the table and took a brush dipped in red ink and started writing on the lantern.

"Be careful with your spelling my love; you don't want the gods to get confused and not grant your wish", her mother jokingly said.

"I will!", little Jadiz replied, not even looking at her mother. She stopped writing to check her work; she rubbed her nose with the hand she used to write, smudging a bit of red paint on her nose. Her calligraphy work is more than impressive for 6 years old. "DONE!", she jumped up and excitedly.

"And what does our Lucky Jade wishing for?", a manly voice asked.

Little Jadiz looked up and saw her father walking towards her and her mother. She placed her lantern down and ran towards her father. Her father opened his arms to hug the Little Jadiz and carried her in his arms.

"Hello my love", her mother gave his father a small peck on the cheeks making her father put an arm around her waist and giving both of them a hug.

Little Jadiz' eyes glowed with joy and happiness. Even at her young age, she always wanted the kind of love her mother and father has for each other.

"So, what did our Lucky Jade asked for?", her father asked once again out of curiosity.

Little Jadiz gave her father a wide and bright smile. "I….."

"Would you like to get that lantern young lady?"

Jadiz came back to her senses and saw the shop keeper smiling at her. The old man was standing behind the stall and holding his hands together in front of him.

"Oh…uhhm", Jadiz started to pat her pockets trying to see if she has mora left. She dug deep and found nothing. She sighed sadly, "I-…"

"Here you go, keep the change", someone said beside her.

She looked up and saw a tall red head man with a mask on the side of his hair. The young man smiling giddily at her, looking smug and proud of himself from buying her the lantern.

She raised an eyebrow at him, not sure what to feel or say. Part of her wants to say thank you and be grateful, but the other part wants to walk away or punch that smug look out of his face.

"Thank you, Childe, you are so generous! You didn't have to!", Childe said sarcastically.

"I-will-punch-you in the face..", Jadiz glared at Childe still holding the lantern. She started to walk away from him. "I swear…One time…I'm gonna freeze his sorry butt in the spot..", she mumbled.

Childe couldn't help but chuckle at Jadiz's reaction. He loves teasing her so much because she might be a cryo user, but her temper is hotter than any pyro user he has ever fought. He started running to catch up with her.

"Jade wait up!", he laughingly said. He caught up with her, now walking side-by-side. "You know, you are so cute when you are mad".

"Well, watch me get freaking adorable", Jadiz glared at Childe walking faster, still holding the lantern.

Childe laughed out loud and matched Jadiz' phase; he didn't have to. She is so short that his regular walking speed is her faster-walking speed. "Come on, don't be too mad now, I might fall for you if you become adorable", he teasingly says.

She stopped all of a sudden that he almost collided with her. She turned around, eyes blazing, cold air starting to form around them.

"Uhhh….now now…", he nervously said. "You know I was just joking", he laughed nervously putting both his hands up in the air as a sign of surrender. Man, she is something else he thought to himself in a good way he silently added, trying to hold back a smile.

Jadiz stared at Childe, intending to freeze his ass after the last statement. 'Fall for her?' He really needs to stop teasing her like this. It's hard enough as it is to resist his charming ways; not to mention, he was just flirting with the female store keep at the fabric and clothing store a few minutes ago whic for some reason annoyed the living wits out of her. "Hmph", she turned around so fast that her hair hit his chest and the lower part of his face.

She heard him chuckle again. ‘I still don't get why he enjoys making me mad so much’, she thought to herself as she walked fast trying to get away from Childe. She stopped suddenly to avoid colliding with the little girl that tripped in front of her.

The little girl laying flat on the ground started to sob. She kneeled, placing her lantern on her side to help the little girl to stand up. "Hey there, you're okay", she gently said, trying to comfort the little girl. She then saw a scape on the little girl's knees. "Does it hurt?", she asked worriedly.

The little girl nodded while sobbing, trying not to burst into tears. Jadiz lifted her right hand, cold air formed around them, a lotus flower made from ice started to form on her hand. She put the ice lotus flower into the child's scraped knee and almost instantly the wound disappeared. "Better?", she smiled sweetly.

The little girl's face lit up and smiled. "Thank you, big sister!", the child said, giving Jade a small hug and then running away to her friends.

Childe was trying to catch up to Jadiz and saw the little girl tripped. He stopped on his tracks and watched Jadiz turn from a mad dragoness to a sweet, endearing lady. He couldn't help but smile, she looks so beautiful when she whether she is angry or not; but even more when she is handling kids. She has a gentle touch to her that kids seem to love (he does too).

He started walking towards her after the little kid run away to her friends. He held his hand trying to offer her some help standing up. He saw her looked up at him with those gorgeous jade coloured eyes. She hesitated for a second but ended up taking his hand. He pulled her up gently, but she lost her balance and had to use his chest to stop herself from falling.

Warm. Sweet. Lavender. He thought to himself as he accidentally had a whiff of her scent. He had to calm himself down as he stopped the urge to pull her closer to him. He didn't want to let her go but she already pulled away turning her back on him.

He cleared his throat and picked up the lantern on the ground.

Jadiz had to look away, she can feel her face getting flustered, it was hard not too... She had a whiff of his scent. He smelled like Morning Dew, Ocean and Rain.

‘Calm down, calm down, calm down’, she thought to herself as she tries her hardest not to blush. She knows if he saw her blushing, she will not hear the end of it.

"I know the perfect spot to light this lantern", she heard Childe say.

She took a deep breath and turned around to face him," Really?"

"Yeah, follow me!", she felt Childe take her hand and started running towards the Harbor. She couldn't help but look at this man who is basically dragging her.

After a few minutes of running, they reached the Harbor. They passed by groups of people trying to send their lanterns out as well. Childe finally stopped in front of a very tall crane.

She looked at the crane, looked at Childe, looked at the top of the crane and back at Childe. "Up…there?...", she asked while pointing weakly at the top of the crane.

"Yep", Childe grinned.

"I…You know I'm scared of climbing heights!"

Childe chuckled, he turned around and crouched, "Hop on", gesturing for Jadiz to hop on his back.

"I…can't we just do it here", she started walking towards Childe really slowly.

"Hurry up, or I'll climb without you."

"F-Fine…", she reluctantly agreed. She placed her arms around his shoulder and clump her legs around his waist. She felt his right hand, making sure she is secured on his back. Handing her the lantern so he can use his other hand to climb the crane

"Alright! Let's go!", he excitedly said starting to climb the tall crane.

Jadiz closed her eyes holding on to Childe tighter.

"Not too tight now, I have to breath", Childe chuckled once again as he started to climb up.

After a few minutes, they reached the top. He crouched again to let her down.

"T-thank you..", she shyly said. She never had any trouble thanking anyone, so it has been a mystery to her why she is having difficulty saying those 2 words to him.

Childe chuckled and sat down. She sat down beside him, she took her pen out from her leather satchel. Jadiz then started writing her wish. She felt Childe leaning over to read what she was writing. She glared at him and turned her back away from him.

"Hey! No fair! I wanna know your wish!", Childe protested still trying to read what she is wishing.

She ignored his protest and continued to hide what she is writing. When she finished, she took a match from her satchel and lit the small candle inside of the lantern. She stood up, closed her eyes, both hands on the lantern, making sure to hide her wish from Childe. She felt Childe stood up beside her as well.

Childe can't help but look at Jadiz. Her face illuminated by the light of the lit lantern. Her black curly hair partly on the way. A part of him wants to brush it away, but he resisted. She is such a mystery to him. One moment she is gentle, the next she is a fighter. She is a huge contradiction, an enigma. Probably why he is so interested in her, he could easily finish this mission, but he is enjoying her company. He wants to unlock all her layers, so far it has been such a challenge. Never before has any woman resisted his charm this long. Never before has any woman captivated his interest this long.

He saw her gently kiss the lantern before letting it fly into the sky. A part of him wondered how her lips would feel on his. Her lips were plumped, it looked so soft. He wanted to taste them, maybe nibble on them until she moans from pleasure. He caught himself imagining that scenario and had to stop himself before he starts getting flustered. He looked back at at Jadiz who kept her eyes on the lantern until it's no longer visible.

He cleared his throat, trying to regain his composure, "So…what did you wished for?"

Without looking, she answered, "Something I used to see every day but have lost..I wish that for myself someday...", her voice trailing to almost a whisper.

Childe can sense the loneliness in her voice even though she tried to hide it. Something inside him grew, it's something that he only felt for his siblings which confused him even more… It was the urge to make her genuinely happy… It seemed so strange. All he wanted to do before was to fight, to kill, to get stronger; then this girl came along and something inside him changed... It also doesn't change the fact that he knows he won't be able to do it…she is…after all…his mission...

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spider-moon-princess · 7 years

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Vampire Souji Dream!

Here’s the rest of that vampire Souji dream! SO, a small point I have to make, Dream me KNOWS subconsciously about the stuff Souji’s suffered through/I have a huge soft spot for him which is why Dream me got 1000000% instant attached to Souji. It was kinda hard to put that into words though, so I thought I’d explain it beforehand. It’s just a written out dream, so don’t look too much into it. Basically, it’s what happened. I use “Etsu” as my in game name in all my games, so that’s what I referred to myself as. ^v^;

T for suggestive themes? Everything’s pretty much implied lol

Her eyes blinked a few times, trying to get used to the different shades of blue shining in her eyes as people danced, grinded, and moved against the obnoxious beat of the music. She stared out at the dance floor where several of her friends waved at her for her to join them.

She gave them an apologetic smile and shook her head. She wasn’t a dancer in public. Maybe in the comfort of her home, but usually nothing more than a head bob to the beat or tapping with her foot.

She took a small sip of her Mimosa. It had been a while since she’d been out with friends, and had an alcoholic drink. One every now and then wouldn’t kill her.

A shiver ran up her spine. She certainly wasn’t cold, especially not with all these people inside the club.

As she took a small, but long sip, she was trying to figure out who was watching her. She could feel a pair of eyes burning into her, but she was trying not to show that whoever was staring at her was affecting her.

A drink was placed next to her.

She almost spit out her own. Even with the blue hues illuminating the club, she could tell his eyes were a vivid green. Her breath hitched as she traced his features with her eyes.

She was gaping at him, but she couldn’t stop. Her eyes finally landed on his curved, sly smile. “Hasn’t anyone ever told you it’s rude to stare?”

“S-s-sorry!” She immediately apologized, her heart leaping out of her chest the moment she heard his voice. Her eyes quickly went to her drink, her face red with embarrassment. She was never any good at hiding her emotions.

Cool fingers guided her chin to look over at him again. She couldn't peel them away this time. "You seem a bit out of place." His other hand gestured to her navy blue dress that went past her knees. She looked more like she was going to Sunday church mass rather than the club.

"Um, I, well, I'm…I-I…" She took a breath, trying to steady her shaking voice, which made his sly smile turn into a smirk. How refreshing that he should have to go up to a girl, rather than her crawling into his lap like so many do every night. "I was dragged along…I don't really…" Her voice got quieter as she realized she was rambling. "…Come to places like this."

"I never would have guessed." He traced her lower lip with his thumb. Her breath hitched again at the small action, which made him want to continue poking and prodding her to see her reactions. She reminded him of someone from a very long time ago. He brushed the thought aside. She was his new toy, his new meal. That's all they were to him now, he'd decided a long time ago. "Would you like to try something new today?"

His whisper tickled her ear, trying to will herself into saying no, but her body was betraying her as she leaned into him. "I-I don't even know your name, how can you easily say something like that?" She finally blurted, pulling herself from him.

"Okita Souji. You may need to know it beforehand." An impish smirk this time.

Even his name, just the sound of his name was pleasant to her ears. She was fascinated by him, entranced, hypnotized. "You can call me Etsu. It was nice meeting you, Okita-san." Her feet were too eager to take her away from the bar and to the bathroom or even outside.

His grip on her wrist was gentle, but firm, not leaving any room for escape. "Now, now, we've just met and you want to leave so soon?" His throat was dry, and she smelled too sweet to just let go. He'd convince her. No one had resisted him. He could feel her skin warm up at the contact, which made him raise an eyebrow as he heard her pulse quicken.

Oh, how she wanted to escape. She was an adult, for God's sake. If she wanted to sleep with a handsome man, she should be able to without feeling guilty!

There was a part of her that was telling her to run away, to say no, and forget all of it. She didn't know him or what he was capable of. She'd been told many times that she was too trusting of others.

Yet, there was a small voice that told her to go for it, just grab his hand and let him lead her where he might. To just give in and…

She stopped her thoughts there as she looked back at him, into those captivating green eyes. Determination trickled into her eyes as she grabbed his hand before she could even think about what she was doing. Swallowing a lump in her throat, and her face flushing a bright red, she nodded. "What did you have in mind then?" -- Her eyes fluttered open and quickly glanced up, finding the source of her hands being restricted. They were still in the handcuffs. Her memory was both blurry but clear. A blush spread across her cheeks as she realized the position she was still in.

In his living room, a rather simply decorated room with rusty red walls and swords hung as decorations, Souji sat there, polishing a sword. "Has it been over a hundred years already, Hajime-kun?" He murmured to himself, cleaning it with much care as he thought of those days he spent sparring with him.

His ears picked up the sound of a pulse racing. His meal must've awoken. Carefully, he slid it back into the scabbard and hung back on the wall in its rightful place with the others. He took his time approaching the door, and leaned against it, crossing his arms as he watched her struggle a bit before giving up. "Trying to leave so soon?" Ah, there it was again, the nice pink on her cheeks, despite having spent the night getting familiarized with each other in the dark, she was still so shy.

"O-Okita-san…" The sheet slid lower, the more she tried to pull it back up with her feet.

He snorted. "Back to 'Okita-san' already? Last night-"

"Yes, I am aware, thank you! Please let me out!"

Souji walked over slowly, staring at her with the eyes of a predator. He hadn't been able to get his fill, since he'd gotten distracted. He unlocked one of the handcuffs, bringing her wrist up to his lips, his fangs grazing it lightly before he finally sunk them in, earning him a little gasp of pleasure. He didn't drink much, just a bit to soothe his small thirst. He skillfully ran his tongue over his puncture marks and looked over at her. "As uptight as you seemed, you're into a lot of surprising things, aren't you? It's always the quiet ones." He snickered as he released her other wrist.

Her hands immediately grabbed ahold of the sheets and wrapped them around her. "I-I…" She honestly had no idea what to say. As much as she tried, she honestly couldn't regret the night she spent with him, if anything, she craved it again, but was more curious about him as a person. She didn't know much about him before getting into bed with him other than his name. "So…" She cleared her throat, trying to fix her very messed up hair. After a few moments of him staring at her, she finally let go of the breath she'd been holding. "That was a first for me, and I bet you could tell…I-I'm not like this, but you…" Her eyes finally met his.

"Don't get this wrong, Etsu-chan." Souji grabbed one of her wrists and pulled her swiftly so she was lying on her back. He placed his hands at her throat. "You know what I am. You probably have an idea of what I'm capable of, and while it was fun, I could kill you here and now," He squeezed lightly to cut off her airways for a moment. "For fun." He could see the fear in her light brown eyes. That's right, he was a monster that was supposed to be feared. She, and the rest of the humans, are just his food source and playthings.

Coughing, she stared into his cold, jade eyes. They weren't just cold…she could see something else in them…pain? Loneliness? He was trying to push her away. "But…" She took a slight breath. "You won't."

Souji glared down at her. "I'm very much capable of it." He bared his fangs. "I could suck you dry here and now."

She swallowed a lump in her throat. He was trying to push her away. It was too late, she was drawn to him. She becomes attached to easily, a flaw of hers. She barely knew him, but here she was, trying to barge her way into his life. She wanted to know everything about him. What made him tick? What has hurt him? How can she help him? The fear in her eyes was replaced by sadness. Tears started to well in her eyes as she looked at him. "Will you really?"

Had he gone too far? No, not enough if she was still here. "Yes." He disappeared into the living room to let her get dressed. -- She couldn't stop thinking about the way his eyes looked. "You're so stupid. You don't even know him, why do you already care?" She mumbled to herself. It was just a fling, a one night stand. She shouldn't have let her emotions get the better of her. "Idiot." She lightly hit her forehead as she finished combing her hair through with her small comb she kept in her purse.

When her eyes were upon him again, her body moved on its own, arms wrapping themselves around him, face burying into his back. He was shocked at the action. "What are you doing?" Even though his question was dripped with annoyance, he made no move to break out of her embrace.

"Don't push me away because I won't leave."

"I'll call you a cab."

"Okita-san, I don't know why, but…" She reached over to grab his wrist in an attempt to stop him from making the call. "You've endured a lot alone. Everyone you cared about has left you. You're alone. I want to change that."

"I'll kill you if you come around. Just leave and don't come back. You were just a meal." He grabbed her wrist and pulled her away so he could make the call. "A meal and entertainment. I don't think anything else of you."

His words did sting, but she knew better. She was going to come back. --- No matter what he tried, even after he harshly sent her home after her confession, she came right back to him the next day, and the day after that, and everyday. Even if he brought over women, she still kept coming back. It was frustrating. It had been a mistake to have approached her in the first place. Souji thought she would've been an interesting meal, thinking it would've stayed that way, but it had turned into something more.

Right as he was polishing Kondo-san's sword, the doorbell rang like it usually did at around six pm. Reluctantly, he carefully set it down and went to let her in. She always greeted him with a smile and a little wave. "Souji-kun~."

"Here to bother me again?" Souji shuffled back to the living room with her at his heels.

"Bother? Well, I guess so, if you see it that way." She shrugged. He wasn't the first person to say harsh things to her. "What are you doing?"

He silently went back to polishing the sword.

"Shinsengumi's First Division Captain Okita Souji."

Souji froze. He hadn't heard that title in a very, very long time. His head turned, curiosity ignited at her mischievous smile.

"I got it right, didn't I?" She kneeled next to him. "I remembered hearing your name somewhere in a history class."

"I used to be. I'm not the same person I was then."

"I wouldn’t think you were. You've lived through many events now, you're older. Hmmmm, I'd say you're over 170 years old? Although I don't trust my math." She chuckled, rubbing the back of her neck.

"175, actually." Souji chuckled, sheathing the sword. "Well, what do the history books say about the Shinsengumi?"

"They didn't mention how good-looking you were." Giggling, she took out a folder from her bag. "I know you probably know-"

"I actually don't. I'd rather rely on my own memories and knowledge." Souji took the folder to look at it. It contained brief biographies of each of the Shinsengumi officers, their death dates, how they'd passed, things he had an idea of. The more he read on, the more he remembered, the good and the bad. He'd been too late. Everything had slipped through his fingers while he had been in bed.

Souji looked over at her. Her hand was gently squeezing his shoulder. "I know to everyone, even to me, these people are just names and events on paper. They happened, they're interesting like a novel, but to you…these are people you knew, lived with and cherished, weren't they?"

Souji sighed; she was never going to leave him alone, was she? "Yeah…We all came from a poor dojo in Ezo. I had no purpose after they were gone, after Kondo-san was gone, but someone has to remember them the way they were."

"But remembering is painful, isn't it?"

Before she could continue, his lips were already on hers. "So, make me forget then." He'd been expecting her to blush and excuse herself, but this time she pulled him back in.

"Let's forget about everything then." She murmured.

"Such a bold thing for you to say, Etsu-chan."

Rather than giving him an answer, she offered him her neck. "It's been a while since you've fed, hasn't it?"

Chuckling, he kissed her neck. "You keep track of my feeding habits too? What are you a stalker, or do you have a vampire fetish?" He felt her skin grow hotter. Ah, there it is, her cute blush.

"I-I do not! I just care for you, Souji…"

"Last time, I discovered some of your fetishes, let's see if I can find some more~."

"Sou-" She bit her tongue to bite back a moan as he sunk his fangs in.

"Let's see how long you can keep quiet." He smirked against her skin.

Of course, he won that bet.

#personal

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sprinkleofhappinessuniverse · 7 years

Text

I'm With Cupid - Part 6

Synopsis: In this AU, You're known for being excellent at your job at being a Cupid. You never give up on your charges and believe that everyone deserves some sort of love. James Buchanan Barnes is your newest charge and is determined to not fall in love. You have one month to find him a romantic partner and it proves to be more of a challenge than you thought and little do you know this assignment will turn out like no other. Pairing: Bucky x Reader (eventual) Word Count: 5,083 Warnings: Swearing, mentions of death, (brief) funeral scene, mentions of injuries, angst, heartbreak and my bad writing, memories/flashbacks are written in italics and I refer to Bucky I these flashback as ‘young Bucky’ A/N: sSo firstly I apologise for this taking so long I've been working in this for the past four days I'm still not sure if it's very good lol, and I didn't mean for this part to get so long.

Shoutout to @poe-also-bucky who helped me out so much when writing this, I don't know what I'd do without her tbh. I made up the characters Beth, Jade, Addison and Jonathon for the purpose of this story.

I'm With Cupid Masterlist

You'd be lying if you said Bucky calling you and telling you he was actually willing to go on a date with Beth didn't take you by surprise. After you're little argument some of what you said to Bucky had actually sunk in and since calling you he had seemed apologetic and remorseful. This had brought out a much nicer and kinder side to Bucky which admittedly you liked.

The late Saturday afternoon saw you in Bucky’s apartment helping him to get ready. Beth had seemed rather pleased that he had changed his mind and they would be meeting to watch a movie at the cinema the go to a bar afterwards. You sat in the living room stroking Ollie who had taken a liking to you. Bucky walked in holding up two shirts. One was a T-shirt and the other a simple button up shirt.

“I kinda need help. Which one?” He asked. You could hear the nervousness in his voice.

“The button up shirt. It's casual but smart.” You said giving him a reassuring smile. He smiled back before heading to his room to get changed. You had been giving him pointers on what to say to Beth all day and that had somewhat eased a little of his anxiety.

As you listened to the rustling of clothes and the spritz of aftershave in Bucky’s bedroom you took in the living room. It was very Bucky. It wasn't too flashy or big. Cosy was the right word to describe it. And clean. You could tell Bucky liked to just get on with things and it seemed he was fairly good at doing household chores. His bedroom was a little less tidy but it was his personal space after all. The sound of soft footsteps broke you from your thoughts and you couldn't help but smile in admiration as Bucky stood in the doorway.

You also hadn't realised just how attractive he was. Although his outfit was very casual and simple - jeans to accompany his shirt with clean white trainers - it accentuated his natural beauty. As much as you wanted to marvel him you had to brush away those thoughts. There were rules and he was your charge. It was inappropriate.

“You look great Bucky.” You complimented causing him to smile.

“You don't think this is too casual?” He asked tugging at the bottom of his shirt. You shook your head and walked over to him placing each hand in his shoulders to stop his fidgeting.

“Bucky, you’ll be fine. I'm sure you'll have a great time, remember my tips if you get too stuck. You can trust me, after all I am your Cupid.” You reassured giving him an encouraging squeeze. He smiled back and nodded. “I'm gonna go when you leave so i’ll come by and talk to you tomorrow?”

“Sure.” He said grabbing his keys and making sure Ollie had food in his bowl. Before he opened the door he turned to you. “Thank you Y/N.”

“Don't mention it.” You replied.

The next morning you decided drop by Bucky’s and see how the last evening went. He opened the door with a smile which was very pleasant to see.

“Hi Y/N.” he greeted, opening the door wider to let you in.

“Hello Bucky. So how did last night go?”

“It was alright I guess.” He said casually.

“Just ‘alright’? Not fun or fantastic? Or ‘you were right Y/N, I had a wonderful time and I agree with you, this is my destiny!’” You said with a hint of humour in your voice. Although Bucky rolled his eyes he did let out a soft chuckle.

“The movie was kinda crappy but I suppose the night wasn't too bad.” He shrugged.

“Well did you enjoy Beth’s company?” You asked, tone now more persistent. You could tell it wasn't a horrible night because despite giving short answers Bucky did have a positive energy.

“Well…” Bucky began.

“James.” You shot him a warning look.

“Okay, okay! I did enjoy her company and I guess she did make the night a lot more bearable.” Bucky said holding his hands up in defence. You grinned earning another eye roll however you could tell that this one more playful.

The two of you were interrupted by the ring of Bucky’s mobile. Picking it up off the side he looked at the screen a flash of panic ran across his face.

“It's Beth.” He said quickly.

“Well answer it. Put it on loud speaker.” You replied.

Reluctantly Bucky tapped on his phone and stood closer to you.

“Hello. Beth.” Bucky answered.

“Hey Bucky! Just wanted to check in with you I hope your not hungover because I could really do with a coffee!” Beth chirped through the phone.

“A coffee? What, today?” Bucky asked looking at you. You mouthed “Say yes.”

“Yeah, I figured we could do something that doesn't involve drunken karaoke and low budget CGI“ She said, laughing a little.

“Uh, sure, I guess I can do coffee.” Bucky said, awkwardly scratching the back of his neck.

“Great. I thought we could go to the Moonlight Cafe, the one by the school. Meet you there at one o’clock?”

“Uh, okay. I’ll see you then.”

“See you later Bucky!”

“See? That wasn't so bad.” You said to him, although you couldn't help but feel this slight nagging feeling at your stomach. You wasn't sure why it was there after all you thought you were happy Bucky was making progress.

“We know how my last coffee dates went.”

“I know it didn't work out with Samantha but that doesn't mean it won't with Beth. Come on, it's one coffee, go and get ready and if you like I can stay here and watch Ollie and we can talk when you get back?” You offered. You wasn't too sure why you were offering to stay in his apartment but despite everything you were finding some sort of comfort in being around Bucky, even if he was one of your more difficult charges.

“Okay.” He said before placing his phone on the counter and leaving to go and get changed.

The sound of the door opening tabbed your attention. Knowing it would be Bucky back from having coffee with Beth you walked into the hallway, Ollie at your heels.

“So how was it?” You asked.

“It was...nice.” Bucky answered still not sounding enthusiastic.

“Just nice? You don't sound very enthusiastic.”

“What the hell do you want me to say Y/N?” Bucky snapped.

“Well you seem to be having a good time I don't see what the problem is?” You snapped back. You could sense that bucky’s issues were more psychological.

“It's just that...never mind.” Bucky said quietly, walking to his room. You followed him.

“Whats wrong?” You asked. He sat on the edge of his bed and ran his hand through his hair. He shook his head. “I know I'm only your Cupid but you can tell me you know.”

“It's just...I haven't exactly had the greatest experience with dating.” Bucky sighed.

“So what, you're gonna let a couple of bad relationships stop you from finding love?” You said. Bucky shrugged. You sighed and come up with an idea.

It seemed as though Bucky’s aversion for finding love came from his past relationships. You had only tried this once before in dire circumstances but you was willing to give it a shot. You and Bucky were going to travel back and revisits some key memories from his past lovers. You were hoping this would give you an insight to Bucky as a person and discover what went wrong to make Bucky believe he didn't deserve romance. It wouldn't be every memory just key moments from his most important relationships. You stood up facing Bucky.

“Okay, I have an idea. We’re gonna visit your past memories of your previous girlfriends.” You said, matter of factly. Bucky’s eyes widened and he shook his head furiously.

“No way.”

“Look bucky, I know it's difficult but you just have to trust me.” You pleaded, he pursed his lips but remained silent. “Please Bucky? For me?”

He looked at you for a few moments then nodded.

“Okay.” He breathed out, standing up.

You waved your hand in front of Bucky, concentrating on just the two of you.

“What the hell are you doing?” Bucky asked quickly looking a little alarmed.

“Close your eyes.” Bucky looked as though he wanted to protest but he did as he was told. You grabbed both of his hands and closed your eyes, fortunately mustering enough magic to shift you in the past.

The two of you appeared in what looked like a school’s parking lot. Around the corner you could faintly hear the sounds of arguing. The two of you followed the sounds and around the corner you saw a small girl being confronted by some rather fierce looking older boys. They seemed to be teasing her about something or the other. Although she was gripping onto her schoolbooks tight and was considerably smaller, she held her own and was standing up for herself. Besides the three of them, the grounds were empty.

“Oh my god, that's Jade Harris.” Bucky said softly.

“So that's your--”

“First girlfriend. We shared a few classes together but this was the first time we properly spoke.” Bucky told you.

The school doors swung open and out walked two boys chatting to one another. One was a scrawny, blond kid clutching a small notebook and the other was a little taller , brunette, and a lot more athletic. You smiled as you saw a familiar pair of blue eyes. Bucky and Steve. Both boys attention was grabbed by the argument and you saw young Bucky’s expression harden. Immediately he marched over to the bullies with Steve beside him. Despite the bullies being bigger than both Bucky and Steve that didn't stop them from standing in front of Jade and exchanging their words of their own.

“Why don't you pick on someone your own size?” Young Steve shouted angrily to them - ah a classic line.

“What're you gonna do about it punk?” One of the bullies said towering over him. “Why don't you little boys run along to your mommies before we give you something to cry about.”

“Hey back off. Leave my friends alone,” Young bucky interjected, putting a hand on the bully's arm. You noticed Jade’s face light up a little at the mention of “friends”.

“If you touch me again you little runt I’ll knock your teeth out.”

“If you pick on my friends again I swear I'll knock your teeth out.” Young Bucky said squaring up to him.

“What did you say?” The bully was dangerously close to Bucky but Bucky didn't back down.

“You heard me!” Bucky remarked.

“That's it you little--”

“Come on James. Just leave it, they're not worth it.” Jade interrupted, literally grabbing young Bucky by the arm and giving young Steve a warning look so he'd follow too.

Both you and Bucky shifted to the front of a house where the two of them stood.

“You didn't have to walk me home James.” Jade said.

“I wanted to make sure you got home safely, it's no biggie.” Young Bucky said with a shrug.

“I'll be fine. They're just a couple of jerks.” Jade replied. Young Bucky nodded.

“I better get home. I’ll see ya later Jade.”

“Bye James!” Jade called out.

“You can call me Bucky.” Young Bucky said with a smile.

“So you were her knight in shining armour, huh?” You said with a smile. Bucky couldn't help but smile coyly.

“I guess…” he chuckled, scratching the back of his neck.

The two of you shifted again, this time you found yourselves by a cinema, evening beginning to set in. You saw both young Bucky and Jade standing outside.

“So what's this night?” You asked Bucky.

“The night I asked her to be my girlfriend. I was pretty awkward.” Bucky replied, smiling a little.

“So,did you like the movie?” Young Bucky asked, looking somewhat nervous.

“Yep it was good. Y’know, you're pretty cool.” Jade said just as nervously.

“You're pretty cool too. So uh..I was wondering...if you would...like um...to be...uh...my girlfriend?” You Bucky stammered nervously. Jade smiled, nodding.

“I would love to.”

Bucky then planted a kiss on her cheek, jade giggling away.

“I didn't know you were such a charmer.” You joked. Bucky chuckled a little and you could see his cheeks go red.

“Yeah well it didn't last long.” Bucky muttered.

In that moment you shifted again and this time you was standing in a cemetery. Mourners were gathered around a tombstone and it was clear to see a funeral taking place. It seemed to come to an end however as everyone began to disperse. You saw young Bucky sitting on one of the chairs looking more than depressed. You gaze flickered over to a phtotograph on the tombstone. The photograph was of a man smiling who had a lot of bucky’s fetaures. Jade walked over and put a hand on bucky’s shoulder but Bucky shrugged her off and continued to look down at his feet. Eventually you were able to put two and two together.

“Is this your father’s funeral?” You asked gently. Bucky’s expression hardened and he nodded. You lightly squeezed his arm.

“This is where the relationship started to go downhill,” he began, “after my father died and after the funeral I wouldn't speak to Jade. I wouldn't speak to anyone. We drifted apart and a few weeks later I receive a phone call. It was Jade telling me she was moving away and that we shouldn't be ‘boyfriend and girlfriend’ anymore.”

Bucky looked somewhat depressed after telling you that and you figured that it would be best to spare him witnessing it again, after all he had more memories to visit.

“Okay next relationship.” Holding on to each other's hands you were able to shift again this time the two of you were in a busy school corridor - fortunately you were invisible to the other students. Soon a crowd of students moved from one of the lockers and that's when you young Bucky. Older than the previous memory, his backpack was slung lazily over one of his shoulders and he was leaning against his locker door fiddling with some books. It wasn't long before a familiar redhead came bounding over.

“Wait? You and Natasha dated?” You asked surprised, Bucky nodded. He didn't mention it when you had met her the previous week. In fact no one had mentioned it. This only increased your curiosity seeing as Bucky and Natasha were such good friends now and it was one of his most important past relationships.

“Our history isn't quite as tragic, it was actually a pretty fun relationship while it lasted.” He muttered.

“How old are you here?” You asked.

“Just turned fifteen. This is actually my fifteenth birthday.”

You then heard young Natasha say:’

“Happy birthday Barnes! Fifteen birthday beats.” Before playfully punching his arm.

“Oh Natalia, pleasant as always.” Young Bucky teased grinning. Young Natasha scrunched her nose causing a laugh from young Bucky who put an arm around her shoulders after closing his locker.

“Hey Bucky,” Young Natasha began buying her lip as Bucky cocked his head towards her “So you know we were talking about dating and first kisses and stuff yesterday?”

“Yeah?’ Young Bucky answered.

“Well I think I might like you, as more than a friend and, uh--”

“Natasha Romanoff are you asking to be my girlfriend?” Young Bucky said with a slightly cocky grin. Young Natasha snorted but grinned all the same.

“Don't get cocky. And yes.”

“Of course.” Bucky answered, his cocky smile growing wider. Natasha gave him a quick kiss on the lips and took his hand as they made their way to their next class.

The next few memories you were able to get of the two of them were fairly short but sweet. One was of them watching movie on Bucky's couch curled up into one another. And another was Natasha rescuing a cat from a tree but as she jumped down she landed on her ankle awkwardly, spraining it in the process. Bucky gave her a piggy back ride and nursed her ankle.

Then the last memory out wasn't quite as pleasant. Although not heartbreaking you could tell it was coming to the ends of their relationship. The two of you was shifted into Bucky’s childhood bedroom and you watched the bedroom door fling open and could hear young Bucky and Natasha having an argument,

“Oh, come on the movie wasn't that bad.” Young Bucky shouted after Natasha, frustration evident on his face.

“It was terrible and you knew I didn't want to watch it!” She shouted back.

“You never want to watch the movies I want to! And you're always making me listen to your music!” He argued.

“I'm always watching what you want! And I thought you liked my music!”

“I only listen to it because you make me!”

“I don't make you do anything! “

“Really?,” He scoffed, Natasha scowled at him, “tell that to everyone who's scared to so much look at you in case you break their wrist.”

“You know what, I'm going home! You're just like every other jackass at school!” Natasha shouted before storming out, slamming the door behind her.

You turned to Bucky, who grimaced slightly.

“Wow, that was…” you started.

“Explosive. That was basically me and Natasha. After that we apologised but agreed we'd be better off as friends. That wasn't the first argument we had but we figured if we’re gonna argue over something as trivial as films and music then we probably should be together” Bucky said.

“That makes sense. How long did your relationship last?”

“Five months.” He said and you nodded before taking his hand again.

“Well I think we should move on to your next relationship now.” You said, taking Bucky’s hand and shifting into what looked like a café. You saw a girl at the counter, hand over change before turning with her cup in her hand.

“Who's this?” You said before turning towards Bucky. When you turned you could see his expression grow cold and a little distance.

“Addison.” He said flatly. “My last girlfriend.”

You didn't say anything, knowing that this must've been the relationship that made Bucky give up on love. You just watched silently as you saw young Bucky walk through the doors. He was looking over his shoulder, chatting to someone which meant he wasn't looking at where he was walking. Coincidentally so was Addison. As she looked down at her cup and fiddled with the napkins in her hand she inevitably collided with Young Bucky and spilled half the contents over herself.

“Oh my god I'm so sorry!” Young Bucky said as he held his arm out to steady Addison.

“No it's my fault, I wasn't watching where I was going.” Addison said, now trying to dab at her t-shirt with a napkin.

“Here” Young Bucky said handing his friends his backpack and taking off the hoodie he was wearing.

“No! No way! I can't just take your hoodie!” She exclaimed.

“It's no biggie. You're in Mr Taylor’s science class right?” He asked, addition nodded. “So just give it to me then.”

“Thank you so much, You're a lifesaver. At least now I don't have to walk around with a wet patch on my t shirt.” She chuckled. Young Bucky grinned at her.

You turned to Bucky whose expression was still cold.

“How old were you here?” You asked.

“Sixteen. This was at the beginning of junior year.” He said. “We kinda new each other before this moment but We got together about two months after I turned seventeen. Y/N?”

“Yes?”

“I really don't want us to revisit this relationship.” Bucky said quietly. You could feel a slight ache in your heart and could sense Bucky’s hurt, but you knew you had to push through and see this relationship if you wanted to help him and if he wanted to help himself.

“Bucky, I know this is hard and there's still a part of you that holds onto his relationship, but in order to move on you need revisit it and not bury it deep down.” You said softly.

“I really don't think I can do it.” He practically whispered it.

“It's now or never and if you don't it will still most likely be eating away at you. I'm here, you can trust me.” You held your hand out and he nodded taking it.

The two of you then shifted into various happy memories. Their first date at small restaurant, it wasn't anything fancy - casual enough for jeans - which was where they had their first kiss, study dates that ended in them cuddling up against a bed, singing each other's favourite songs, prom in which Bucky had acted like a total gentleman and impressed her parents. The last happy memory was of them sitting on a couch, an admittance letter in Bucky’s hand.

“I don't have to go if you don't want me to.” Young Bucky said to Addison.

“No, your dad was in the military and he'd be so proud his son was following in his footsteps. I'm going to miss you though.” She said.

“I’ll miss you too, and our apartment.”

“We’ve only just moved in here!” Addison giggled. Young Bucky intertwined his fingers with his.

“I know but we've left high school and got our own place. We’re finally adults and I know I'm joking the army but in a few years we can have a proper family.”

“That's something I'm looking forward to. I can just picture it, mini-James running around. I'm so happy to be sharing my life with you, I love you.”

“I love you too Addison. I don't think i’ll ever stop loving you.”

“So you joined the army because of your father?” You asked Bucky. You were genuinely curious and it was helping you to piece everything together. Bucky nodded.

“I thought it would be the best thing. I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life and I figured I'd be doing my father proud. So I went off to the army, at first Me and Addison were fine. I kept visiting, she'd send postcards and letters. The longer I was with the army was the more time I spent there than visiting home so mine and Addison’s interactions became limited.” He told you. His expression grew more distant and he would meet your eyes.

You decided it was time to move onto the next memory and took Bucky’s hand and shifted inside an apartment building. You saw Young Bucky although at this point in time you suspected he was now twenty. He was dressed in his army uniform and had a couple of suitcases. He was about to ring the doorbell and you put two and two together. Bucky was surpassing Addison. Somehow though you knew this was not gonna end well. Bucky’s hand in your shoulder disrupted your thoughts and you turned around to face him.

“Take me home.” He said stubbornly.

“Bucky, remember what I said earlier. You need to move on. I know it's hard but that's what I'm here for.” You said you took his hand and held it tight to show your support. His jaw clenched but he nodded and the two of you returned your focus to the memory.

The door opened and Addison stood there with a shocked expression on her face.

“James?” She asked, a hint of disbelief in her voice. You could see the side of young Bucky’s face and he was practically beaming.

“Surprise doll.” He greeted. Instantly he reached in for a hug. Addition hugged him back but she was not as happy as he was at his surprised visit. “I missed you so much babe.”

“Uh, James, there's something I need to tell you. I was hoping to talk to you sooner but…”

“What's the matter?”

Then a male voice could be heard through the apartment.

“Babe, who's at the door?”

You could see young bucky’s face contort into confusion.

“Babe, who's that in the apartment?” Young Bucky asked. Addison nervously rubbed her hands and kept twisting the bracelet on her wrist.

“James, I don't know how to tell you this. I didn't mean for you to find out this way, I really didn't.” Addison said, her voice was breaking. The sound of footsteps could be heard and at Addison’s side appeared another man. He wrapped an arm around Addison’s waist and stared at Bucky.

“Babe, who’s this.” The man asked.

“Addison's boyfriend. Who the hell are you? ” Young Bucky snapped. Irritation flashed across the man’s face.

“Adds, is this dude for real?”

“Jonathan this is James.” Addition said awkwardly looking between the two of them.

“What, James the army dude? You haven't even told him yet?” Jonathan exclaimed. His eyes flickered between the both of them. When Addison didn't answer he put his hands up. “Well shit. This is awkward.”

“You haven't told me what?” Bucky asked.

“I'm gonna leave you two to talk. You clearly have some unresolved issues here.” Jonathan said before retreating back into the apartment.

“James, look. You being in the army, it's hard and--”

“What? You were the one who told me to join. You were the one who convinced me this was the right choice.” Bucky argued.

“I know and I feel so bad for it. I didn't expect it to be so...difficult.”

“What do you mean difficult?” Bucky now sounded a mixture of both hurt and pissed.

“I thought it would be so bad with you gone but You were gone so long and the only point of contact was a freaking letter!” Addison exclaimed. “Then I met Jonathan, one thing lead to another and..”

“And you went ahead and replaced me.” Young Bucky said quietly.

“It wasn't like that--”

“Then tell me, what was it like? Cause from where I'm standing from it sure as hell looks like it. I don't understand, I love you and I thought you loved me too.”

“I do James. Well I did. But...I think...I think I love Jonathon too. It's all so complicated. You have to believe me when I say I never wanted to hurt you.”

Both Addison and young Bucky had tears in their eyes. You could feel Bucky next to you watching the scene, still and quiet. You hated the fact he went through this and for the first time you wanted to cry.

“I don't get it, I did this for you. I did all of this for you Addison. The apartment, joining the army. I love you Addison.” Young Bucky breathed, voice breaking.

“Maybe you shouldn't have done it for me.” Addison whispered looking at the floor. You saw young Bucky’s face flash with anger.

“Are you kidding me? We were a couple Addison! We were gonna have a future together and now…”

“James I'm so so sorry.”

You turned to look towards Bucky. His eyes glistened with tears.

“Come on. Let's go home now.” You said quietly. You were already holding his hand and you managed to shift the two of you back into his bedroom. He sat on his bed and rubbed his face with his hand.

“So now you see why I'm not worth this. Me and love, don't mix.” He said.

“I don't get why you say that? None of those relationships ending were your fault.”

“I wasn't exactly boyfriend of the year. I kept arguing with Natasha, and managed to push Jade and Addison away. I really loved Addison, I think there's a part of me that still does even though it's been five years.” Bucky said.

“No Bucky. I saw what you were like. You were kind, sweet, caring. In fact you possessed the key qualities of a good boyfriend.” You reassured him. “With Jade, You lost your dad and was grieving. Sure you guys drifted apart but it's understandable plus you were twelve. Relationships don't usually last that young. You and Natasha were just too different but you're friends now right? And Addison it wasn't your fault. I know we've argued a lot but even I can tell you're a wonderful man Bucky.”

Bucky was quiet for a little while, seemingly processing what you said.

“Thanks Y/N.” he said quietly.

“It's Okay Bucky. Remember I care about you.” You said softly. “Do you want me to go and give you space?”

“No, stay. I could use some company.” Bucky said a little smile. You smiled back and sat in the bed beside him. You wasn't sure why but you found yourself wrapping you arms around him. Bucky didn't pull away, in fact he nestled closer to you, his head relaxed on your shoulder. There was this funny feeling in your stomach, warm and fluttery. Hugging Bucky was...pleasant.

“I guess after i’ll give Beth a call.” Bucky mumbled after a while. You had forgotten about Beth and you found yourself not feeling as enthusiastic as before about setting her and Bucky up. “Y/N can I ask you a question?”

“Sure.”

“Can y’know, Cupids find love. Like do you guys settle down or find someone yourself.”

“There's a lot of speculation that Cupid's can experience romantic feelings and fall in love. But since a Cupid's whole life is dedicated to their charges and assignments and helping them find love then they don't get the time to find love themselves. As Cupids we take our jobs extremely seriously and we try to not let feelings get in the way. Pursuing a relationship with our charges is considered to be one of the greatest offences. It's against the rules. A forbidden love.” You told Bucky. He lifted his head and looked out you.

“Oh.” He said quietly. “So not even you could pursue a relationship?” You shook your head. Bucky frowned before putting his head back on your shoulder. You sighed quietly a you thought about what Bucky said and the thought about Beth.

You were definitely beginning to feelings beyond that appropriate for a Cupid. Damn those rules.

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#Bucky Barnes fic #bucky barnes #bucky x reader #bucky Fic #captain america #marvel #marvel fic #captian America the winter soldier

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