#i'm not saying the whole thing is awful

[canisalbus]

Your art tastes like aged paper, sugar, and chocolate to me, with a hint of salt every so often

Machete looks like white chocolate, and Vasco's like buttery caramel

.

#aw #that sounds nice #anonymous #answered #I was wondering what the aged paper is doing there but it reminded me of something #so I'm going to share a weird personal detail totally unprompted #I think I used to have pica disorder when I was a kid I would gnaw on and eat a lot of small inedible objects #pieces of cardboard rubber bands and blu tack #the plastic animal figurines I had had bitemarks on them and were often missing bodyparts like if a dog had gotten to them #also a ton of uncooked pasta #I think it wasn't a flavor thing I had obsessions for specific textures that weren't found in actual foods #I particularly craved those candy wrappers that are made of waxed paper #(finns might be familiar with pihlaja or marianne wrappers for example or those translucent inner wrappers in lehmäkarkki/ cow cream fudge) #can't say for sure when it stopped but one day I realized that hey hold on this probably isn't normal human behavior #I think I was over 10 but under 15 #and I had forgotten the whole thing but got such a vivid flashback from that line it was actually kind of alarming

[bumblingbabooshka]

Janeway in 'Nothing Human' vs Tuvok in 'Resolutions' There's something here I know there is I can almost wrap my teeth around it.

#I can't watch Nothing Human bc the puppet really disconcerts me #but I cannot believe Janeway really came into B'Elanna's room after all that and the FIRST thing she says...her OPENER is #'Wow it smells awful in here~!' #DUDE....................TIME AND PLACE #HEHEHHE #C'MON MAN #B'Elanna: Is [putting it behind us] an order? / Janeway [normal!]: Yes. #'And what emotion is that?' C'MON MAN!!!!!! #Janeway & Tuvok #Kathryn Janeway #Tuvok #I can see why she and Tuvok are friends #'I understand you're upset but fall in line' #You can be upset but not if effects your work #<- Something which would be fine on a regular ship but is very difficult on Voyager #I think Janeway's certain coldness or ruthlessness which can be aimed at either friend or foe is an interesting #aspect of her personality #Ex: She and B'Elanna COULD have feasibly had a more touching scene together to close out the episode but they don't #I don't know if I'm explaining myself well right now I'm a bit ill and more than a bit tired #Something about uhh maybe....people under their command vehemently and emotionally disagreeing with them/their decisions?? #you can disagree with me but not if you don't follow me anyway #Voyager a ship full of contradictions #they have to all work together and they are all closer emotionally than any other starship due to their situation #but they are also still 'at work' and are expected to follow orders. It's like a 'casual' hierarchy but it's still a hierarchy #and you can't fall too far out of line bc you're someone dear to me #but you're also a valued cog in the machine #and even though you ARE valued you ARE still a cog in the machine #but you're also my dear friend. and all of these things are true at once. #all of that of course but also Janeway & Tuvok are displaying a very particular kind of shared leadership style in these moments #Janeway is obviously on the whole MUUUCH more charismatic and understanding than Tuvok but still - when push comes to shove...

[rithmeres]

i have decided to keep working on the painting even though it makes me wanna end it all fr but i need mutuals to weigh in and tell me which version is worse:

#'which is worse' meaning which one makes you feel the worst because i am going to use that version. #i don't want to post the whole thing yet but if context helps #the full composition is him sitting in front of some roman-esque architecture nude to the waist and weaving a net #referenced from the frederic leighton piece 'weaving the wreath' #the whole thing is awful but to me it feels like the inclusion of the netmaking is just an extra layer of capitol fetishization #(i say as if i'm not the one painting it) #as my mutual theworldiswhispering so succinctly put it: #'the hard labor you do is not safe from being romanticized by the people who benefit from it at your expense' #on the one hand the averted eyes is more candid and secretive and coy. which is gross but that's the point #on the other hand if he's looking right at you i want you to feel complicit. #even though he's looking directly at the camera (and at you) he is looking past you. he has a thousand yard stare already #and you can imagine all the work his prep team had to do to disguise sunken eyes

[pa-pa-plasma]

okay wait yes we all know that ATLA (2024) sucks ass but can we stop calling the actors white because they don't fit your limited worldview? you can talk about bad writing without being racist

#it's funny because they never specify who they're talking about but you know who they're talking about #i've seen so many people call the actors white & even suggest attacking them for it & it's like??? dude????? stop???????? #i should've expected this. people were complaining that the water tribe clothes didn't look ''savage'' enough #i'm gonna throw up why is there so much racism in this fandom? has this always been a big problem or is this new #& before anyone starts with the ''unrecognized tribes'' thing a lot of tribes are unrecognized. the Métis are unrecognized #not everyone needs to fit a specific image you have in your head. & fuck the US government tbh #if i was told i couldn't participate in my own fucking culture because i don't fit the stereotypical description i think i'd knife that guy #anyway if you have like actual proof besides ''the US government says so'' i'd love to see it #like is their whole family from Europe but their great great great great grandmother's nephew is Cherokee #otherwise i don't wanna see people shitting on the actors for being ''too white'' for your tastes #or their clothes being ''too clean & well made for an arctic people'' (still can't believe that was a complaint i saw) #shit on the ridiculous amount of unnecessary CGI & the tiktok shots & the awful writing instead please

[dazais-guardian-angel]

kinda wild to me that one of the most compelling aspects of both Chuuya and Kunikida's characters to me, that I never really see talked about, is how they're heavily set on a doomed crash course towards complete and utter destruction, and how I am so, so worried for them both.....

#bungou stray dogs #been thinking a lot about chuuya lately (shocking for me i know (said with no sarcasm truly lmao it is rare for me)) #cause of the 15 manga and also playing the fucking jeht quest in genshin impact ugh (where's the one dual genshin bsd fan who Understands) #but like this pressure has been building up for chuuya for so long due to being used and manipulated by all these people #first the sheep then mori then verlaine then still mori now #he was groomed since childhood just like dazai #but unlike dazai he didn't have an oda to help him get out of the mafia........ he's still stuck there #and his personality is different from dazai's. dazai was more self-aware imo (but still a groomed emotionally abused kid don't get me wrong #but chuuya's whole thing is needing to belong and wanting a leader to be loyal to but ending up in positions of leadership himself #which makes him feel pressured but he accepts and stifles any negative feelings just because he wants to belong #and all this crushed him with the events in the light novels and yeah he went through character growth but he's...... Still In The Mafia... #and that fucking scene asagiri added to the cannibalism stage play i don't think hardly anyone even knows about bc IT'S NOT DISCUSSED ANYMO #where mori emotionally manipulates him with the flags!!! and it deeply hurts him!!! and he presumably deals with that shit all the time!!! #it is WORRISOME. it WORRIES ME okay. #chuuya doesn't have anyone who can save him from the mafia (dazai is in no position to okay; it's all he can do just to try to save himself #and it's so so scary. it spells awful things for him. #didn't asagiri say he'd have a rough path or something??? and he added that fucking scene in the play!!! it haunts me!! #i fully expected this shit to hit a turning point in the meursault arc but we can't have nice things i guess #and as for kunikida a;lskdfl (took me this long to get to him oop) literally the ending of Entrance Exam (the novel) is just #One Big Foreshadowing for Kunikida's downfall #he's compared to the azure king for a reason. Sasaki saw the azure king in him for a reason. it's fucking worrying!!!!! #there hasn't really been anything like that since in the manga (just like for chuuya lol ugh) but he's TERRIBLE at coping with his trauma #and it only gets more apparent once shit hit the fan in the doa/hunting dogs/meursault arc #it's not good!!! i'm worried for kunikida too!!!! #even if the manga isn't focusing on this these worries are always in the back of my mind man #both kunikida and chuuya are doomed to hit some kind of breaking point eventually and i await those moments with dread yet anticipation #i want dazai to be able to save kunikida from the despair being too good a person brings the way he couldn't save oda #and chuuya.... if we get a scene with him & mori mirroring the one in dark era where dazai finds out that mori orchestrated the kids' death #oh man i think i'll fucking die (give it to me i need to cry)

[cidnangarlond]

I definitely have some kind of undiagnosed personality disorder I am Not normal

#it's probably paranoid. tbh. cluster a at least #have forced myself to have some kind of filter bc if I posted all the shit I genuinely think u guys would Not want to be around me #me wearing a tshirt that says ASK ME ABOUT MY PARANOID DELUSIONS #cannot get into them all but it's standard fare I suppose. being watched hidden cameras being spied on etc etc you know how it goes #that's also not getting into my very strong belief about like. this whole potential serial killer thing Don't Ask it's years old now #but I went crazy w that one. don't worry about it tho #and then your typical self hatred and self loathing and seeing and hearing things on occasion #interpreting my dreams as having a greater meaning and thinking mundane things are signs. should probably bring this up to my psych #next month when I see her. I'll probably forget again though. oh well #there's also like. I know it's her job but I'm scared to bring any of these things up idk why but the idea of telling her all this scares me #idk though! cross that bridge when things get awful

[cinnamon-phrog]

Just binged the dhmis webseries and tv show back to back I'm seeing stars

#👄🍝 #🎨🌻 #🦆📋 #🚦🏠 #NO BUT YOU'VE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I LOVE THEM. THEY'RE ONE OF THE REASONS I'M FREE NOW #I HAVE A WHOLE YEAR. NO. THE REST OF MY LIFE TO MYSELF FINALLY. #i was always looking for something to bide my time with and they're the most healthy fulfilling thing i have #i love their flaws. i hope they wouldn't mind mine. #so many awful parts of the last few years have been mended by just the thought of them. them being their silly blunt selves. #i've said this before i think but before ileft Her i felt like them. it's why i felt connected to them. #what i thought of before i left Her was them. they'd be happy for me hopefully. #i'd escape and live a life of freedom even if it scared me. and i'd do it for them. #everytime i'm upset or angry or afraid i think of what they might probably say and i don't feel so bad then. #yessssssss they're not real. but the joy i get is and that's what matters. #i hope to talk more about them even more than i have this year [sorry in advance]

[nobodybetterlookatme]

Okay I'm not saying that this semester's students suck ass bc I'm not there to teach them, but isn't it just such a coincidence that the vast majority are failing so miserably and they don't have someone who will tutor them outside of class and go over notes and skills with them, while the previous semesters did have that and the majority passed? Super interesting stuff. Too bad we'll never know if things could've been different if they had just fucking paid me :)

#can you tell I'm peeved lmao #i went to one of the classes today just so i can keep it on my resume #and holy fuck #weeks into the semester and they should have the basics down #they do not #absolutely floundering #granted I'm sure I'm not actually the reason lmao #like yeah i helped a shit ton of students outside class too #but they probably could've passed without me #these new ones tho are awful #no drive no nothing just looking for others to blame for their own failures #i didn't even stay the whole time like i was planning #bc i found out that they hired four other fucking people for the program #who all have less experience than me #and have been with the program for a way shorter time than i have #who don't do half the extra shit i do #and don't get me wrong this isn't a slight at them they're all fully qualified #but why the fuck not hire me #like i genuinely am so pissed #have to email my supervisor but I'm too upset to make it sound civil #like fucking fine if you don't wanna pay me you never get to see me again #I'm not working ten hour days plus extra outside of class for nothing anymore that's insane #I'll keeping being a private tutor for the students but I'm not doing a single thing for the program without pay #i mean holy shit hiring at least four other people and not saying shit to me?? #like fine that's fine fuck you you're getting an email ultimatum good luck finding someone else willing to do all that for free #i cried about it for like an hour and now I'm just mad lmao having a super normal one rn #anyway #not snz

[recklessmoss]

#note: i'm not making fun for op for sending me this but i am. #in awe. #and essay... a whole essay for smth so simple as '' i dont like old things being ruined '§ #I'm not even gonna say anything i'm gonna take my hand off this topic right now and go on with my night bye

[girlpetrarca]

What do you mean you're going to belittle my entire university experience after I've been downplaying this thing for months?

#it's my sister btw. she.. she's not happy I'm having the discussion at home (oh because I'm happy about this? no. it sucks.) #she says that I should go somewhere else (and not in my fucking home) #because I can always do what I want while she can never do anything and oh but she needs to studyy exactly those two hours #and she said I should go away because it's not like it's a big thing #and there it is. the centre of the whole fucking problem #I've been saying all these months that “this thesis is not important. I don't want a party I don't want people to go to the celebration.” #of course now everyone thinks it's not important #while instead it's probably the highest success I've ever fucking hoped for. when I was a kid I dreamt of that fucking laurel crown. #I know I'm going for a master and if I can maaybe a phd of some sort. but this is .. this is IT. #and it feels awful that I'm being thrown out of my house. #I'll probably manage to stay she'll rumble and moan and then she'll accuse ne of being a shit brother because I haven't bought her a copy. #I'm baffled #and sad #personal #thesis

[love-at-first-bite]

WHO SAID THAT!?!?

#victor beeps #i don't think termina is easy per-say. i think it has a good difficulty and yeah some things are trial and error (a lot of things) #but MAAAAN compared to the first game you could say it is easy cause F&H 1 - i'll be honest - a slog #like the THIRTY MINUTE TIME LIMIT in a ROUGE-LITE. HELLO????? i can't find my ASS in that time here much less a whole MAN #and a lot of things are just up to RNG and game knowledge so it's all up to a literal coin flip at times #like my marina run was STACKED. got a good weapon early and started with necromancy and dodged so many attacks it was great #meanwhile levi's run was awful from start to finish. i got nothing good i had terrible death mask spawns it was a struggle #ANYWAY i'm excited for the update. i trust they won't just ''enemies hit harder you hit softer bye.'' like it's said #i DO think some things need nerfs...o'saa's tree is a little busted #IN CONCLUSION! DO i think termina is easy? not really! on it's own. compare it to the first game and yes. yes it is easy #at the end of the day a lot of it comes down to rng and game knowledge so while the game may feel impossible at first- #-by your second or third playthrough you should have a solid grasp on a lot of the most important things #(like Needles. the pav/marcoh/tanaka scene. how to save samarie. ect) #and there is an easy(er) mode! don't let people shame you for only playing it on that difficulty! #ANYWAY HIIII GOOD MORNING :3 this is the first thing I saw after waking up and i'm insane about termina rn sooo :] #if you read all this hiiiii i love you~ thank you for listening to my silly video game talk

[miabrown007]

a minute of silence to my skills to estimate how long a project is ever going to take

#my google calendar and Carl bot (and my friends) have been kind enough to inform me today was the estimated posting date of heist au #suffice to say that is not happening #it would have been rad to make a habit out of the co-occurrence of starting a new job and starting to post a finished WIP but alas #that will not be happening for a while longer #I have no idea when will I find the time for writing between two jobs and the big bang but. we'll work something out. #but hey it's good to give your projects breathing space so your brain can do the work in the background and solve the problems for you #I'll probably need to go back and revamp the whole last chapter I've been working on #but I'm still too sick and jet lagged and sick to be thinking about that so I'll consume some more media in the meantime #and complain about how bad the fic I'm listening to is. like god it's supposed to be so romantic and cute and he's literally #depriving her bodily autonomy and her friends support him I want to leave a strongly worded comment so bad #I will not be doing that but god it's so awful I should have stopped listening to this fic long ago. so that's a lesson learned. #put the fucking fic down there's plenty of stuff that's going to be better #hot take I sure no one saw coming sometimes things that are popular are actually bad #anyway have some stream of fucking consciousness /ref to another fic I'm fighting hard to keep discontinued #I know I won't like it why is this so hard #heist au should have been posted today based on maths btw. maths I did wrong for the first time which means it should have been posted #a year ago really #not like I have the proper structure to do a heist au daily #but it would have been fun to post the first chapter on the exact day it takes place. idk just for flavour #does all this make any sense? hardly. this is a diary entry and my two braincells are firing random thoughts at each other #that's fine though. it's all fine. here have some popcorn to go with all this nonsense 🍿🍿🍿 <3 #(and also all the drama in the new shadow and bone season. ugh it's so good I love Wesper SO. MUCH. or just Waylan. and Nikolai. #he's my blorbo assigned at first relevant information. relavant information: he's my friend's blorbo #but gods he's so my type it's scary. of course I'll have him as my blorbo. of course of course! #*puts him on a shelf next to Adrien Draco and Hunter* #*steps back to think before putting Waylan there too and sitting Zuko on the far end* #war crimes look so good on them :3 #miaing #heist au

[orbmanson7]

:(

Very bad grade in therapy today

#thought i could make progress this year and yet here i am having done jack shit by now #what has even been the point #i just wanted to do something today that didnt feel awful like try to encourage people to watch a show or play a game #and now im just right back to Why do i bother staying alive? im never going to make any progress #and even if i do I'm going to just be worthless the whole time and waste precious resources others could be using #oh yes just try saying a nice thing to yourself for once! yeah sure that will help when i cant do anything worth a damn #i want to help people but i have no skillsets and no money to further my education and teaching myself gets me right where i already am! #continuing like this is like spitting in the face of anyone who is actually out there pursuing their dreams and thats not fair to them #they put in all that hard work and im over here being a whiny ass bitch bc i want so badly to do better and learn more #but the only thing holding me back is that im a dumbass who cant do anything right and no one will ever think differently #why am i trying to make myself something i can never be? what is goddamn point if its just a waste of everyones time and effort #i just... it feels like the least i can do is just stop taking up space #free up some oxygen for someone who really needs it and shelter for someone who truly deserves it #i shouldnt even have these things and yet i complain about how much gas i have to pay to commute to my jobs #like such an asshole #and i said i so much in these tags bc im such a selfish jerk who coearly doesnt care enough nor has a worthwhile vocabulary to say otherwise #theres just no fucking point to any of this #... #its cold today #might be a good day to do my favorite plan #actually yeah fuck it im gonna go #hope you all stay kind to yourselves and enjoy your 2024 #you absolutely deserve it and everything you can get out of it #keep being amazing yall #see you on the flip side or whatever #orbs thought bubbles

[coolspacequips]

I think if all ppl can say about allura is that she's an obstacle to kl or that she's dead to be kl angst or that ppl shipping her w Lance suck then maybe just don't talk about her ever LMAO

#ppl will truly be like 'Lance is bi 😊 but yuck allurance is het trash' bi means liking more than just ur same gender fuck u lol #i love kl but i can't fuck w the fans too much at large bc they love to talk about k and l screwing on alluras grave if they remember her #just say ur hateful and go dont bring allura into this didn't the show treat her bad enough FUCK #at least l fans there's a 50/50 chance they recall dead dead out of the way of Keith allura with some kindness #but k fans it's a 75% chance they hate her and go out of their way to talk about how awful she is and gotta say i don't trust like that #u can dislike any character for whatever reasons but the optics on this are bad and the specific things they say are red flags fr #so many ppl say Lance is bi bc it's a popular fanon to explain he's a flirt w girls but we actually want him to be gay #instead of actually saying it bc they think he's bi... the whole fandom was/is specifically v biphobic #i hc everyone as bi and that means sometimes it's a mf ship but it's still queer like come on #anyway this is for no one I'm just idek bye #text posts #might just delete this I'm so tired 😫 #not even to touch on specifically the misogynior of it all #it's 2024 and I'm still seeing fresh takes that are the exact same shitty takes from years ago

[simmonsized]

there’s really no very gentle way to remind someone that hal and dirk are also freaks about puppets, is there

#like i get the whole haw haw anime jokes but i just #i am just staring at dirk's intro page and the smuppets are right there like u can see them he keeps them beside his head at night #what more can i even say #neither of them would blink twice at the puppets man they were RAISED by a puppet i'm just feeling #weird about some of the silly things people comment sometimes i suppose #this is not negative i'm just like aw man don't weep for him he's living his dream

[death-rebirth-senshi]

I'm not gonna post that -_- too out of pocket

#but what I WILL whisper in the tags. And this isn't what I was gonna post. #is that I can now accept in my old age that this is part of what I disliked about Vivienne in Inquisition #after all the posts I saw gassing her up (or rather. Not gassing her up really. Not talking about her character at all; just discourse) #I was so sorely disappointed with what I got. And I think all the moreso because I can imagine what this crowd would say about her #if she were white. Because of how for example some talk about Anders (never ever ever forgetting people referring to Anders as a liberal. #Because liberal just means 'white guy whose politics I don't like' to these people) #my point being I try to take it with a grain of salt that I'm sure fandom is really really weird about their dislike for VIvienne #and that she's not *remotely* held to the same standards as say Cullen who remains my inescapable enemy #But nonetheless. She fell short of my expectations. I mean everyone in Inquisition does I hate this game for a reason #Cullen remains at the top of my shitlist and the fact that his haters are so few and far between is proof of how awful fandom is #but you know. But I know. But you know. You know? It's complicated. I know better. I don't. It's just a feeling. You know? #I have further complicated feelings about mother giselle and barris and the whole thing but that's a little more unfair and personal #there isn't an alternative that would satisfy me let's say