#i wish someone woudl just fucking kill me i really wish

[oscillating-fan-whore3]

I dont think anyone actually likes me. I try too hard for no reason.

#im pathetic with people who i rlly want to please #i try and i try and i try and then no one ever cares i put my heart and soul into everything i try so fucking hard to be liked and no one #cares if i just died right now would anyone even be bothered to come to a funeral #if i killed myself tonight would anyone really care #i know where rhe meds are ive done this research i know how many it wpuld take to kill me i just want to stop trying so hard and hurting for #five fucking minutes idec abt being skinny rn i just need it all to stop i hate myself i hate myself i fucking hate myself #i wish someone woudl just fucking kill me i really wish #imagine how easy itd be idk #gnna try and get drunk soon idk i wanna try jt out b4 i give in and do drugs or somethin #vent post

[nighterclown]

Write out the flustoration write it out write it out

So I have a bit of a problem if you could call it that its like--it is a problem but I just ughhh

So the thing is I have my two really cool really fun friends that I love and cherish more than anything and anyone, honestly I would kill for these two but aside from that, I have some mildly concerning abandonment issues, that also goes with posessiveness over people that are important to me and a fairly annoying infiriority complex. From these thing I can most of the time look aside from and just have this small sting in my chest but not think about it and it goes away,, but thist time--- OHH this time it hits like a train,,

Thing is that I have this roommate/classmate for over 2 years now and, we are not compatible as roommates who see eachother 24 7 so we had our fair share of fights which resulted in shouting and swearing and hurting eachother,,, and in the past shoolyear Ive had it pretty rough and (even tho we talked about it and realised it was just kind of a misunderstanding) she hurt me a lot and made me close up around her. Im not mad at her im simply scared and unable to act my normal self around her cuz even tho she really wasnt she still was my abuser and made my condition last year a lot worse

So yes this person has always been really friendly and apealing and extroverted to most of our piers and that is fine we have our seperate friendgroups which gives me ease, I mean gave me ease until not so long ago she decided to talk to my friends more and more often, until its kind of bacame a thing that she hanging out with my two friends (spesificly one of them) outside of school which makes me feel really fucking shit my blood boila every time I see them hang out or talk with eachother and my heart leaps with the fear of feeling alone and abandoned. It makes me wanna cry, it makes me question my friends' intentions and feelings toward me, I fear my status in the our small closed trio dropping, I know im really annoying, whiny, not as smart as the others, not as funny and not as pretty as my roommate, and I just think these ppl can find anyone better than me

So I explained to this to one of my two friends (bc of course I have to go out of my way and whine about annoying shit, expose myself as someone who questios thier loyalty for me and once again cry and whine about it like a pathetic little spoiled brat) and of course she tried to reassure me that its okay its nothing like that and even tho they dont know what our other friend is thinking, but probably also that, that yes she is fun to be around and all but they wouldnt like to get to know them more personal, since shes not the kind of person they would befriend, which means a lot to one side of me, but the majority in my mind still rejects all that my friend said, I always felt infirior to all of my friends and my roommates in 84% of the things making me unable to cope with this.

Not to mention I also feel also about telling this to one of my friends (and fear telling it to the other) since I its non of my fucking business who are they talking to and befriending with, and its very wrong of me to have so much hate and fear inside of me for this but i just cant get myself together, and I dont know what will I do

Ill probably end up explaining this to my other friend too since its going to be just the three of us this thuesday afternoon and weekend, cuz maybe if I heard my other friend tell me the same (I dont know what to expect from him, this is something I dont think he can fully understand bc of his low empathy and avoidently attached mindset)

So yeah I wish this woudl all go away and leave me be since its also making my amgerissues resufice and I wont see my psichologist for a fucking month now and summer is fasr aproaching and I dont wanna throw up bc of all the feelings when one of them Will tell me that they met up with my roommate over the summerbreak

so yeah

Good to have a rant page with noone in here

[popculturebuffet]

Animation Reviews:Star Vs: Mr.Candle Cares

Tom is back! Yeah I know this took about a month, with the pride month reviews and life being kind of chaotic, I put these next two tom reviews on the back burner, even doing another star review in the meantime for Father’s Day. But with Pride Month winding down and our next episode up being gaytatstic, it was time to come back. It’s just a shame it had to be this one.  We’re in Season 2 now, and early in it, with this being only the third episode and the first to not involve the main plot, as the first two dealt with the fallout of the first season finale, and set up some of the main conflicts for the season. I WILL cover those arcs eventually and recap parts of them if necessary but for now they have zero impact on what happens here. That being said just because it dosen’t tie into the main arc with Ludo and Toffee-Wand, dosen’t mean it’s not important, as this episode both marks a major turning point for tom and also digs into the recurring theme for the next two seasons of star grappling with her responsiblities.. in this case future ones. We also get a peak into her mom’s personality. So with not much exposition to cover, I will see you under the cut.. please?

We open at school and it’s career day, something my school didn’t have for whatever reason, but is a common thing as new Gudiance Counsler mr candle has so far been giving everyone really great advice that fits what they want. Star is eager to have her turn and soon does.  Inside the office Star is offered Candy, which she politley refuses before we find out, unsuprisingly, Star thinks he’s a fourtune teller. A great bit. The mood quickly drops deep into the basement when Candle hammers into star that her destiny is to be queen and it’s carved in stone despite what other plans she may have. THen things get.. a bit creepy with Mr.Candle asking if Star’s dating marco and when she says no and that i’d be weird to date given they live together he urges her to start thinking about her future husband.  And yes I’m aware Tom probably wrote his script, and Tom knows about as much about school as star Does or else Mr Candle would’ve been suspended, at least for this, it’s still unnerving to hear a grown man not only before this tell a teenager she has no choice in her future, but then try and set her up with an unstable teenager in the creepiest way possible and somehow not get fired. It’s hard to watch Star leaves depressed and it’s marco’s turn.. and once again Mr.Candle proves to be a pretty terrible minon, suggesting Marco be a janitor on garbage island. Now as probably isn’t a shock to you given most of you have probably seen this ep, and we’ll find out in a minute anyway, Tom is behind this: trying to keep star and marco apart and get her back with him. And while parts of this do stink of Tom’s own lack of understanding of star, more on that later, and hatred of Marco, as well as not getting earth, as we’ve seen Mr.Candle is actually godo at his job and we see a bit of a real session that’s not part of an emo’s poorly thought out scheme that proves it. He could EASILY manipulate both, or at least try to with marco, but instead just goes along with a script written by a teenager that instead makes one of his targets depressed and the other instantly ready to tell him off or , had Candle been less lucky, go to the principal with this. Now granted this level of gross incompence is another day at echo creek, but it just dosen’t work. I don’t buy that tom couldn’t of found someone more competent with the giant amoutns of money he has to throw around. Then again Tom is really bad at evil when you think about it: I mean sure he can throw hands, as we’ll see in later episodes, but his evil schemes are poorly thought out at best and i’m certain if he had stayed a bad guy after this episode, he would’ve dropped to just proposing to star every time he sees her like teddy from brooklyn nine nine. 

So naturally Marco and Star talk about this with Star really depressed about seemingly being trapped becoming queen, while Marco gushes about how great being queen would be from his perspective... including never having to pick out clothes, fair enough, and never having people not like you, which is depressing. Poor boy. I missed this Marco: Awkward, insecure, but likeable. and also very much possibly gender fluid. Why they threw that out i’ll never know, but it’s canon for me now at least.  Anyways, Marco decides to confront candle int he bathroom because why not. It’s not any more awkward than Candle trying to convince star to make out with tom without saying tom’s name. But yeah as I let out of the bag early above, Marco finds Candle talking to tom via the toilet, and tom is livid he didn’t mention his name, while Candle insists he’s working on it and that Starco, and he uses that word exactly to Marco’s confusion and my delight as I do like when writers latch on to fan terms and poke a bit of fun at them, is platonic. Tom tells him to be sure and Mr Candle dismises him. Before tom can get too mad about this, Candle reveals i’ts becaue he has to pee and tom insists he flushes first. A really great gag.  So to try and compete with tom and candle for dumbest person this episode, Marco has his own stupid plan: Brag about being “smooch buddiess” with star to piss him off.  I assume the next two steps are ???? and profit. I”d also like to note for those unaware that this clip was used in the promo and assumed it was a love spell or some sort of altered mind thing, as it was way too early in the series for them to get together, and smacked of “let’s bait the shippers and hope they don’t get too pissed”. Given I did ship them at the time, it was massively annoying knowing this was obviously out of context, but it’s better than when I watched avatar first run and any hint of kataang was played up and an entire fucking episode was dedicated to fucking with shippers heads. I really need to rewatch avatar on netflix I have NOOOO excuse. Anyways naturlaly the obvious happened; A pissed off tom, who Need I remind you last time nearly killed marco and only didn’t because star used freeze dry and it was super effective, who drags marco away to a tourture wheel. Meanwhile, Star goes to her mom for support. So I get to talk about Moon: Star’s distant mother who’s her exact oppsite: strict, stone faced and in control at all times. And she does LOVE her daughter and get some development later on, but it still dosen’t change her core and she still has real issues actually listening to star that, like some of star’s own issues, she never really grows past. So natrually this goes about as well as trying to get a cat to do anything: She confirms star is kinda stuck inherting the throne before , in an oddly sad moment.. being genuinely confused when Star asks if she’s happy. It’s... a really good character moment to be honest, and sets up her character well now she’s being fleshed out better this season: Moon just.. really dosen’t care about herself or her own hapiness. I mean her marriage is , paradoxically, one of the only marriages in the mewni queenship that not only lasted but is very healthy, but otherwise she just dosen’t care. The kingdom comes first... and to me it comes from the later revlation she was orphaned around 15. She just spent most of her life putting the kingdom FIRST, just like she figured her mother would’ve and probably did, and putting her heart and soul intot hat. And thus she can’t really fahtom someone being SCARED of all that responsiblity and drudgery when for her, it was just a fact she had to accept at star’s age. She probably woudl never be happy but the kingdom’s what important. The thing is A) that’s deeply unhealthyt o begin with and B) it’s easier to accept something like that when you’ve lost your mom, your dad’s never been around and you have only one other person in your life supporting you. Star has LOTS Of other things to her life: friends, hobbies things moon never had a shot at. Not only that but Star’s lived her life iwth a mother who, rather than be supremley happy and beloved like moon’s own mother, seemd miserable, strict and a workaholic.. things star wants to avoid being. Their very strained relationshp probably isn’t helping this. Moon quickly leaves the conversation, but it instead just makes Star spiral further and decide to do something.. drastic.  Meanwhile in hell. 

Okay not that bad. Let’s try this agian meanwhile in hell. 

I said not THAT bad. Jesus. 

Close enough. So in hell, specifically Tom’s room. Marco admits he was just getting tom’s goat, which his goat skull objects to, and while Tom is oddly mad Marco lied marco actually gets to tom by countering he lied to star... which is true not just this time but last episode too. Tom relases marco from his pain wheel. 

And states that he can’t let him go, he knows too much etc etc, and challenges marco to a fight to the death, which marco acccepts.. inping pong. However tom is really great at ping pong and destroys him.  Back with star she’s gotten a great punk makeover. I do wish that star had a permanent outfit change at some point as her temporary looks are always great, and it woudln’t of killed them to do it in season 3 when they had to change over the intro anyway. Alas. She plans to do something drastic.. we’ll find out why in ab it. Back at ping point Marco challenges for double or nothing, despite tom having multiple paddles and him having none and the scorring demon begging him to stop. Tom obliges him, and the two.. actually start to bond. We’ll get way more of that next time. Btu the two bond over how star just tends to cheat, making up rules or changing them to win at the last minute, and how she just does what she wants.. and it’s then.. Marco FINALLY gets through to tom and points out the obvious: Star won’t get back together with him unless it’s what Star wants and Tom gives a face that screams ‘my god what have I done” realizing both how hew’s screwed up and how for now at least, he may never get her back and no amount of scheming will fix it. It’s a great character moment: Tom finally realizes that he can’t just.. MAKE star love him. You can’t MAKE someone love you, they have to want it too. And star dosen’t want him right now and his stalking is only hurting her.  It’s here Tom turns a corner. This episode was his lowest moment for sure, as while the blood moon ball scheme was sleazy, trying to make her love him via a magic moon thing was creepy, it wasn’t horribly intentioned and while I do think tom knew it’dmake her love him again I don’t think he knew the full extent of the moon’s magic or how it’d tear her apart inside if she say loved someone else, as ended up happening since it didn’t let her let go of her feelings for marco while with tom himself. Here he knows what he’s doing is wrong,  as Marco’s comment makes clear, but is so desperate he’s gone with an insane, dumb and really creepy and manipulative scheme. He TRIED being nice, that didns’t work so he probably felt he had to get more creative and more manipulative... i’ts just he didn’t realize while he LOVES being Royalty, star hates it. While Tom’s parents, who we’ll get into more in a review or two, were loving and supportive, even if his dad may not have been at this stage again we’ll get to his parents when they show up, are fully loving and supportive star’s are loving.. but one of them as we saw just dosen’t GET HER. So while to tom the crown is a great thing to star it’s not so mucha nd given he has trouble with empathy, Tom simplyc an’t understand how much he hurt her until marco spells it out for him And it isn’t just in the text either; As I said in the previous tom review, the writers clearly weren’t wure which way to go with tom, so this episode was the turning point: would tom get worse and become star’s enemy fully.. or would he do the unexpected, at the time anyway, and truly try to change and become another loveable member of her inner circle? And honestly.. I feel they made the right decision. Tom really dosen’t fit into the mewman oppresion cycle as neatlya s the other antagonists who are either the opressors or the result of them. He’s a privlaged kid on the outside of it, as , again , i’ll dig into more in the future. And the show kind of.. outgrew recurring antagonists by season 3. They had a few set up this season, but most either faded away or went all the way up to big bad, and I feel the writers realized that tom just.. didn’t work as that and worked better as a kid struggling with being better than as an incel douchebag antagonist. And given he’s one of the two things that helped prop the show up during it’s worse moments in the latter half, it was the right call and the reason i’m doing this arc at all.  Anyways Tom and Marco head back to the diaz house where Star.. has a mermaid and is complteplating chopping off her tail so she can legally never become queen... yeah I meant what I said when I said drastic. Tom however reveals his deception, and .. genuinely apologizes, another sign of growth, letting star go for now. He does get a WELLLLL earned slap, as I said his actions this episode were the lowest he’d sink and still really creeptastic.. but accepts his apology after that, appricating that he at least apologized and grew a bit.  Star, while now not going to disfigure someone to save herself, I mean that sort of thinking did give us the doom patrol but still, is still bummed about being queen when Marco, in a good bit of ship tease back when this ship wasn’t in my nightmares, tells her that yeah she’s stuck being queen.. but tid osen’t mean she has to be miserable. Don’t do it like moon, do it like you. They hug, and Tom, in another great bit of growth, just smiles and heads off, letting them have this moment and letting star go.  We get one final scnee where candle bails on local alpha bitch britney after tom recalls him which sends her into a depressive spiral later in the series. Ha ha... why did they bring this character back for Season 4?  Final Thoughts:  This episode is the queen of mixed bags. Seriously on one hand there IS some really damn good character stuff, with Star confronted with the hard truth of her becoming queen and begining this and next season’s theme of star building up to her future, and Tom going from 1 and a half dimensoinal douchey stalker to the complex and relatable character he’d become in future episodes. However the good is smothered like bad.. just like smokey the bear had to smother his joint before each PSA. Like “Red Action to the Future: over in my OK KO reviews, it feels like wasted potetial: the idea of both Star and Marco rexamining their future and Star being confronted with having a fixed path and trying to avoid becoming queen are great.. it’s just Star ends up being a supporting player in the episode, and I feel it would’ve been better if moon had been forced to deal with the effect of her words on her daughter, as she’s gone after her scene and what she nearly caused star to do never has any effect. And Mr.Candle is just an.. awful character. Incompitent, even if parts of that are on tom, unfunny, kinda creepy.. ther’es just nothing really enjoyable about him and it makes the first  few minutes a slog as he gaslights two teenagers for money and we never learn just what the hell he is or what his deal is. He just drags the episode down.  Really whiel i’ts not TERRIBLE like some of the series worst episodes (Lint Catcher, Stump Day, Marco Jr, Mama Star), it just feels like it could’ve been better paced or made a half hour so star and moon could have more of a plot.  If you enjoyed this you know the dril; like, reblog etc and if there’s a star or other animated show or movie you want me to review , just shoot me a suggestion or comission it outright for 3 bucks! I’ll get back to tom this weekend hopefully with freindenimeis and hopefully get to my last two reviews before pride lets up. Until we meet again, later days. 

#star vs the forces of evil #tom lucitor #star butterfly #marco diaz #starco #cleaved #mr candle cares #svtfoe #startom #brooklyn nine nine #phrasing #mr candle #mr candle sucks #he does he just does #the loud sisters

[acciomoondew]

hiya tumblr

i haven’t done this in.. well quite some time but here goes

just to update anyone who is reading this - hi i’m lisa and i am almost done my first year of law school. it’s gone okay, but the exams are murderous they’re so much harder than i could have ever imagined and i’m really struggling. but i just got a job with the prosecution services in a town just about an hour away for the summer. i’ve always wanted to be a prosecutor like genuinely always since i was like 12 years old. it’s hard to articulate why because it’s kind of shifted after going through a whole undergraduate degree where i learned all about people and society and psychology and criminology and stuff. but i still want to be one and i want to make a difference with my career and hope to make at least a small impact on the criminal justice system. but you see the thing is so many people are doubting me on this. just this past week alone two separate colleagues at school have basically told me that my reasons for wanting to be a prosecutors are stupid and i won’t be able to make any changes as a lawyer and you know i get it maybe being a lawmaker or a politician would be able to make more change. but i think it’s important for prosecutors to make changes from within the criminal justice system you know? by not focusing so much on incarceration and targeting of indigenous canadians and use more meaningful consequences that will decrease criminality. i know that’s idealistic and hopeful and probably naive but that’s what i believe and want to do with my life and it’s all i’ve wanted to do for like over 10 years. i’m also so lonely? i have friends at school but we don’t really hang out outside of class and lunch and school-related functions. i mean a couple times i have been invited out and that’s nice. but my friends pre-law school are not communicating with me. i’m always the one starting the conversation and rarely does it last long. so yeah i’m struggling. a couple weeks ago i had my reading week break and told them to let me know when they were free so we could get together and so one suggested the snow maze and then i immediately said yes that sounds great and it took the others (one of which is like the leader of the other two - they won’t go if the one main one doesn’t) until the day before to finally commit. but then when we got there (i drove because i’m the only one with a car) the three fucked off and did their own thing and left my other friend and i alone. and then you know i had to drive them home and they like didn’t talk to me on the drive back. so i feel like i did something wrong but of course i didn’t but my brain doesn’t let me think otherwise and yeah the depression thing is always fun but it’s really messing me up but i’m too scared to go to the doctor and do anything about it because i know just how expensive it is to get help and how long it takes to get help and i don’t know if i go see my gp if she just give me a prescription for antidepressants because i think i need them. the social anxiety is getting bad again too, and i think it might be merging into general anxiety which is super fun. i’m crying all the time now and i don’t like that it’s not fun and it makes me feel like shit and idk i just don’t feel like i have anyone to really talk to. i feel like no one wants to talk to me and i know i’m not the best person i try to be nice but i’m so fucking weird and awkward and i don’t know i’m not a good talker i don’t say the right thing i say dumb things all the time and idk maybe i can’t do this maybe i can’t do law school it’s so stressful and hard and i feel so dumb in class which is new i’ve always understood the things i’m learning before but now it’s like everyone around me is having no trouble but i’m struggling and i just i hate it i hate my self and how i am and i just want to sleep all the time and i do i go to school for like 10 hours and try and do some studying there and then i come home and i’m just so drained that i end up zoning out and not being able to do anything except watch netflix and sleep and it makes it really hard to keep up with courses and i’m really worried that i’m going to fail everything and that will ruin my life i will never be able to become a lawyer let alone a prosecutor and then what do i do with my life because i didn’t do honours psych because i was told i wasn’t good enough for the program so i woudl have to go back and do the 2 year add on just to be considered for the masters program and then i would have to go get a phd and i would still be in school when i’m 30 and i’m spiralling i’m spiralling hard and who knows if i would even be a good clinical psychologist i’m surely not good or smart enough to be a psychiatrist because med school would actually kill me but my peers are so smart like so smart they talk about their undergrad experiences and most of them never got anything less than an A or A+ whereas I got a mix of everything I’m talking like an even split between B+ A and A+ but i still got a bunch of B’s and one C+ and even on the midterms they’re all sad because they all got B’s and i’m sitting there like fuck really i would die for a B because I actually failed one of them, and got a C and a C+ on two others, and that means i’m very at risk of not doing well overall and holy fuck the finals are worth between 70 and 80% of my grade and that’s terrifying and i just know i’m going to fuck it up and i’m just so scared and worried and in addition to the crying you know when you can actually feel a strain in your heart like you heart is trying to leave your chest because you are just so sad and oh heart yeah still single still a 23 year old virgin who has been on 3 dates and is continually rejected on dating apps and i’ve never even been kissed and how pathetic is that i mean how do you get to be twenty fucking three without having any physical intimacy like i don’t even get hugs because i don’t see my friends because they don’t talk to me anymore and my immediate family are not huggers and i’m worried that i’ll never be able to find a partner because who wants someone so old who has no experience whatsoever and is emotionally and physically stunted in the romance department and oh yeah and questioning sexuality is fun too like that’s just one more thing to be worried about and i’ve been going between over eating and not eating and i’ve gained so much weight i’m so disgusting my body is repulsive to me so i can’t imagine ever showing it to another person and i really yeah i really wish i could just start over like die and start over or at least maybe go back to grade 4 and start over because that’s where it all started to go downhill my dad got laid off and then found a job in edmonton which is two provinces away and my mom was so stressed and i had to step up and help around the house and take out garbage and clean and do things to get the house ready for showings and i started to get acne and started to get self conscious and i’ve never really been the same little girl that i used to be and i just wish i had someone to talk to i really just wish i had some person to talk to me and want to talk to me and isn’t doing it out of some sort of obligation  just a person who genuinely wants to be my friend and do friend things i miss having someone to just be silly around i haven’t had that in like 15 years i just don’t like where i am right now in life as a person i just wish i had a different life 

anyway yeah i’m going to go sleep for probably 12 hours now thanks 

[led123123]

if I was playing unranked I would also get more kills. but her aim is really good

https://youtu.be/atGIspBzmUM?t=94

is buying damage more effective on jugger than attack speed?

if yes then bf is good item because bf is around 40 damage

imagine.. with bf.. you’d get.. 35% more damage.. out of 40 damage. so that would be. 14 more damage.

with attacks speed.. you would.. get.. like.. the same damage.. so no damage bonus.. but you’d only hit faster

so.. I guess that’s true.. that it’s better to get more damage on jug. because crits increase damage by 35% on average

so you get 35% more damage bc of crits.. and that means.. 35% more dps more

stray likes to play jugger

https://youtu.be/atGIspBzmUM?t=554

maybe buying AC against slardar is a good item

https://youtu.be/atGIspBzmUM?t=1076

how does she get vp9

https://youtu.be/atGIspBzmUM?t=1125

she needs some attack speed.. she should have gone bf

https://youtu.be/atGIspBzmUM?t=1614

lol spectre buybacks

https://youtu.be/atGIspBzmUM?t=2182

she could just get AC instead.. against slardar. and it would be good with basher

https://youtu.be/CGFqCVVZAZ8?t=848

if it was easy to get high rank in apex then everyone would have it

ok.. these.. stuff is saved..

it didn’t disappear.. whatever.

https://youtu.be/Zqp5eKsrDWs?t=229

it would be more funny if they had died.. xD

https://youtu.be/YRt1EI9_it4?t=474

I’m using 33 gigs.. not good

I closed almost everything

ok nice.. the normal version of this cpu got sold quite high. higher than the better version on facebook

maybe I can offer high price

there’s some new auction.. with really good photos too.. but the number on the cpu is lower than on my cpu

so it may be older version than my cpu.. my has number 49 and this one has..  48

so it was made on 48th week and my was made on 49th week

and people are already bidding on it already.. the price is already pretty high. 1 day left on auction. I told you guys that on sunday people are gonna be bidding the most guys. I knew that people are gonna have the most time to buy on sunday evening

there’s some other card.. ok.. it’s an OC model.. with the box.. and looks pretty good.. so I guess I know what price I’m gonna set..

damn I don’t wanna pay 3%..

maybe I’ll sell it for 3% less without paying 3% to them..

but if I pay 3%.. then I can get cheaper delivery.. but I don’t pay for delivery.. but.. I can set a bit higher delivery price than the actual one.. or something like that.. I don’t know how it works actually.. I would need to check if it actually works like that

but I wouldn’t save a lot with that.. but delivery woudl be cheaper..

for the customer.. but the customer pays for delivery not me

so like.. the buyer would pay more for delivery.. and.. it also.. be more difficult for him to talk to me in chat.. to tell me where to send it

ok.. I guess I know what price I’m gonna set for this card

this card is with box.. so.. and it’s also OC model.. and it looks.. quite in very good condition

so I can’t set higher price than this one

I mean.. I checked when it was added.. it may get sold fast.. because it was the last card added.. so it may get sold fast

I can just try similar price.. if this one is gonna get sold fast. or a little higher

if I try selling without 3%.. then I will have a bit higher delivery cost.. I won’t get the discount on delivery

if it’s not gonna get sold then I’ll just lower price

omg. one cpu got sold high. and it’s the same week as mine - 49th week

but it’s not used cpu.. it’s the.. you know.. not opened.. so it got sold higher

no lol. it’s actually 2nd hand.. lol..

it’s the same week as mine. 49th

there’s a lot of numbers.. but the 2nd number matches my number.. and this one got sold high.

the same week as mine

49th week

wow.. I didn’t know that I can see the bid offers.. I found a button to check bid offers

and there’s even exact time and date

I will take detailed closeup pictures like on this auction

there were 2 people who bid very high

this is the same week as mine

I was buying this cpu and card cheaper.. I’m checking price again.. I bought it cheap. compared to prices now

the card now a lot cheaper. but cpu price went up more

I know that I can get better cpu from aliexpress for almost same price.. so.. you know.. I would if I were to buy one I would get the one from aliexpress

this one is not worth for me. it’s not good enough for me

one dude.. remove his offer..

oh.. I guess he sold it.. but without paying 3% I guess

I guess somebody contacted him though private message.. and he sold it

maybe I should do the same. and not pay 4%.. I don’t know how he did it though

because cpu is 4%, gpu is 3%

I don’t know how he sold it.. it says “it didn’t get sold” but he removed ad... so he probably sold it to someone. maybe someone contacted him though private message..

I wanna retake pictures.

to show numbers. so people know what they buy

should I test it before selling??

I can test the card and cpu.. but I packed card already.. don’t wanna unpack it again..

but.. it should work.. but to make sure I should just.. check before shipping.. and I can include it on the description that it’s been checked before sending

I will retake pictures.. check printer.. I wish I had wifi on this pc.. I only have wifi on laptop but I don’t use laptop.. I can print it though usb.. (if I find the usb stick..)

how did this dude sell this without paying 4%.. someone contacted him or something I don’t know

there was some update.. so I restarted firefox.. and.. it’s using 12GB less ram.

https://youtu.be/Zqp5eKsrDWs?t=246

she looks a lot like vanessa

oh right.. I had another session opened.. I wonder how much 2nd session is using

no. I already have both sessions opened

I’m gonna be running with sniper rifle now

omfg.. I changed.. the.. legend.. to pathfinder.. shit..

it’s changing automatically.. when you browse lengeds

jesus christ.. my teammate died.. then I ran in another squad..

fuck.. there’s dude with 5500 kill in the game

omfg please no.. 4th game.. not on loba..

someone took my loba last game

“coronawontstopme”

I have to restart firefox from time to time I guess.. because it doesn’t free the memory.. I guess

just like I was saying before. this is why I quit firefox.. because it wasn’t freeing memory..

lol.. I had 2 solo lucky kills.. but I died to the ring because one dude was camping.. and I ran into him when then ring was closing behind me.. god.. so the ring killed me but I also killed him..

but I got 1 more kill.. and 1 more kill is worth a lot of points honestly.. and +1 place before it was solo

so I got 25 more points for this kill

this stupid shit doesn’t free any ram what the..

https://youtu.be/N5aGieM5YCM

https://youtu.be/N5aGieM5YCM?t=116

she has this.. hairstyle.. it’s like.. some people in cartoon had it and some girl in tv or something. like in a shampoo commercial or something

she has the “cool” hairstyle

https://youtu.be/bB0KGucZHFI?t=97

https://youtu.be/bB0KGucZHFI?t=106

she has this asian oven

she’s talking so quiet.. there was this.. vietnamese girl.. and she also talked quiet

they both talk really quiet

she has this hairstyle from cartoons and shampoo commercials

who else had this haircut.

I think I saw it in ice cream commercial

https://youtu.be/X86S5oZzzh4

you can get this oven on aliexpress

https://youtu.be/7mZQZ9JX2ko?t=60

https://youtu.be/X86S5oZzzh4?t=179

it’s a lot easier to find all the loot I want with loba

that’s why she’s the best legend

and you can take all the ammo that there is around

I’m uploading my last game but it’s gonna take million years to process

to hd

it’s still processing the trash version

and it’s gonna take like 3 times more time to process the right version

https://youtu.be/JPxfAYYo7NA?t=177

https://youtu.be/JPxfAYYo7NA?t=187

https://youtu.be/JPxfAYYo7NA?t=213

https://youtu.be/RndsQ-fHj0k

https://youtu.be/RndsQ-fHj0k?t=429

https://youtu.be/RndsQ-fHj0k?t=505

https://youtu.be/RndsQ-fHj0k?t=815

https://youtu.be/RndsQ-fHj0k?t=1079

https://youtu.be/4OOcz36NhG8

she talks so quiet

https://youtu.be/4OOcz36NhG8?t=133

trash sorbet

https://youtu.be/4OOcz36NhG8?t=147

xD broke the box

https://youtu.be/4OOcz36NhG8?t=216

she has dark hair and dark eyes. and short hair

and her skin color is like she gets a lot of sun

like.. I see.. japanese people.. they have white skin.. and she looks like she gets a lot of sun

https://youtu.be/RndsQ-fHj0k?t=1079

[moved-to-in-love-and-liberty]

EXR Week Day 2

or how to not follow the prompt at all

link to ao3 

The café Musain served many uses. A meeting place, a cafe, a bar. It had hosted business meetings, and the beginnings of a new novel. The open front room, with wide windows looking out on the bustling street was the perfect place to sit and enjoy a conversation with a good friend. The darker back room was perfect for planning, quotes from famous inventors, politicians, and writers covering the wall, a small R scrawled by the door stop.

One of its most utilized purposes was for first dates. The front room provided open views and a quick escape for a first meeting, and the darkened corners of the back room held the perfect room for two bodies, provided they sat close. 

Most of the Amis had used the Musain for a first date. The first time Joly and Bossuet met in person after years of online dating, was at the Musain. It was also where they met Musichetta, although that was not planned. Courfeyrac could look at any table in the building and tell a story about a date that had taken place there, successful or not. Bahorel claimed to have met his girlfriend in the back room, although no one could verify seeing as she had never returned.

It was an established fact that if two people were seen huddled over the small tables, heads bent close, that they were on a date.

Enjolras and Grantaire were the exceptions.

The first time they were seen huddled together in the back room, it was by Jehan. They walked into the back room, then walked back out, rushing up to the counter to where Eponine was standing, cup of coffee clutched in her hands and began to practically gush “How long had that been happening!?”

“Hmm?” Eponine had been working for the Musain for longer than the rest of the Amis had known about it, and while she loved Jehan, sometimes they could be a bit...much for a Tuesday morning shift. Still, she lifted her eyes to meet theirs, trying not to wince at the bowtie and neck scarf they were wearing. “How long has what been happening? The new cups?”

“What? No! You know…. Those two getting their shit together!” Jehan was practically vibrating with excitement- They had watched and written about Enjolras and Grantaire, forever separated by their own inability to be honest with each other.

They had seen Enjolras watch R clutch a bottle close after an argument, seen the longing and regret. They had seen R sketch until his hand was raw, drawn to Enjolras like it was the only thing keeping him tethered some days, drawing his attention in any way, even when it left him despondent.

“Who got their shit together?” Eponine had watched the different couples form and break within the Amis, and knew that it could refer to any of them, Courfeyrac and Combeferre, Bahorel and his girl, Joly Bossuet and Musichetta, or hell, some random couple Jehan had seen “tragic potential in”. She was much less invested in the patrons of the Musain than they had the tendency to be.

“Enjolras and R! They’re having a date! They look so cute, huddled together! How long have they been in the back room?” 

Almost as soon as the words had left their mouth, the curtain to the back room was flung open.Grantaire stormed out almost shouting, “If you insist on hating everything about me, at least be honest about it!” 

“R-wait- just-- I was just-” Enjolras was quick on his heels, spouting an explanation, but Grantaire was already gone, the door banging shut behind him. Not seeing Jehan or Eponine, he started after Grantaire for a long moment, before turning back to the back room. Moments later he appeared with his bag, leaving without sparing the rest of the cafe a glance, hands clenching and unclenching as he threw the door open and stormed out onto the street.

“Well, at least they figured out that they wouldn’t work well?” Eponine offered fidgeting with the tip jar. Not that it fooled Jehan- she wanted Enjolras and Grantaire to work out as much as the rest of the Amis. They had all watched them circle each other for much too long to hope for anything short of a fairytale ending.

“I just wish- I wish-” Jehan tried to articulate, but could find quite what they wished. That R was more confident, that Enjolras was kinder, that they could pull their heads out of their asses.

Later that night they sent Enjolras a text.

Hey I’m sorry you’re date didn’t work out.

What date?

You and R? Alone? At the Musain?

Was it supposed to be a secret?

Sorry

No, Je that wasn’t a date, it was a meeting

Well it looked like a date.

If you asked it to be a date R would say yes

Good Night Je

 Night Enjolras

 --

Courfeyrac was perhaps the most obvious. In his defense, it was about two AM when he caught them smoking together, alone, behind the dumpsters at the Musain. It was 2 AM and he had had a shots competition with Eponine at midnight. So he staggered up to the two, standing close to share a light, and leered “Is this a post-sex smoke?”

 Well.No one can say he was in full control of himself.

 And that was what it looked like! Everyone knew it. They would spend hours together at the Musain just talking, about politics, or art, or the sky or the fucking color purple. They were dating, they went on dates, but they couldn’t admit it.

 He just wants them to be happy. Enjolras was so anxious and irritable all the time- he had never really dealt with a crush before and Courfeyrac would be so much more sympathetic, he had done his fair amount of pinning, except there was no need. Grantaire was head over heels for Enjolras but refused to do anything about it and Enjolras still turned red at the mention of sex so he wasn’t going to do anything. Sometimes a relationship needs a little jumpstart and Courfeyrac wasn't afraid to be that jumpstart.

 Or the rum rushing around his body wasn’t.

 Enjolras jumped away from Grantaire, and Courfeyrac could see the flinch he caused clear across the alley. This might have not been a good idea because now Enjolras looked mad and confused, he was never one for moving any faster or slower that he wanted to, and Grantaire looked like he didn’t quite know what was going on, until Courfeyrac saw him figure it out and-

 “COURF Wh- what the hell?” Grantaire turned on him, voice filled with sadness. Or anger. It was hard to tell sometimes with Grantaire.

 “Courfeyrac what are you thinking, I would never-,” Enjolras began to splutter, “Not in a million years!” And oh lord, Enjolras was too embarrassed, or too drunk, or too tired to hear what he was saying because hardly had the words left his mouth before Grantaire was looking at him, eyes filling with hurt.

 “Okay then” R whispered, already walking back into the club, most likely on his way to the closest bottle of booze.

 Enjolras tipped his head back against the alley wall. “Thanks Courf. Thanks so much.” He pushed his way off the wall, looking very, very, tired. “I'm going home. See you in class.”

 Corfu

Thanks becase now i know he donst like me adn never will so i dnot have to try anymor

Hed never in a billion yeras

I lovr him so so much

Adn tonigh wasnt wat it llooked like

Becuase he woudl never touvh me

And i knw it now

I love tou

And i love him

 Courfeyrac was in half the mind to send it to Enjolras but he had clearly done enough. Hopefully he just hadn’t set them back to much.

 Have some water dude. I love you too.

--

 Joly, although sometimes tending towards the anxious, was pragmatic at his core. He was done with watching the two of them carefully pretend to not be interested. And sometimes a direct and gentle but not crude method was best.

 And sometimes you just need to yell to get your friends to pull their shit together.

 “IF YOU MEET SOMEONE YOU ARE INTERESTED IN AT THE MUSAIN- IT'S A DATE. WHY DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?”

 “Joly what are you talking about?” Grantaire was blushing, but his tone was startling even. He and Enjolras were sitting next to each other in the window seat in the front room of the cafe, looking more cuddly than the actual couple at the table next to them.

 Enjolras looked less composed. “That's not true. You and Combeferre met here just this morning, and that wasn’t a date. Me and R are just friends.” Enjolras looking at him like he wanted to kill him. Probably because Joly was interrupting his one-on-one time with Grantaire.

 His regular, one-on-one meeting with someone who he was romantically interested in were they talked about common interests. And bought each other coffee. But they were so afraid to communicate it was ‘a meeting, not a date”.

 Sometimes Joly thinks the only way Enjolras was the leader was his hair. If anyone saw how hopeless he was with interpersonal communication they’d never let him speak at another rally ever again.

 “Yeah Joly, me and Enjolras just ran into each other, this wasn’t planned. We figured that if we went through the talking points for tonight's meeting then he might actually be able to think up counter points once I destroy he had planned.

 “Hm- that’s funny, I thought we were getting your obligatory shit talking aout of the way so we don’t waste our friends time tonight.”

“Really- because my shit talking doesn’t end. That's all I am. One day I’ll shit talk so much that I'll just disappear- my essence all used up.” They were grinning at each other, looking like they wouldn’t even notice if the rest of the world disappeared.

 It was sickening. And Joly studied sickening. They didn’t even deny that they were interested in each other.

 “-and when you think about it it could provide an interesting perspective on queer relationships. If it looks like a date, but it's between two people of the same gender, people will assume it's not romantic- but if a man and a woman are remotely close to each other people assume it's a date because it just ‘looks like a date’.”

 “Sure apollo, but you’re taking it too far, if someone saw two girls sitting holding hands, they’d assume it was a date- that's how street harassment happens. Literally yesterday you were arguing about how there needs to be more support for queer couples in public, you can’t turn around and say that they aren’t acknowledged in any way-”

 Joly snapped his fingers.

 “-I mean both happen, just because i’m focusing on one-”

 He waved his hands.

 “-You are not ‘focusing on one issue at a time’ yesterday you said it was oppression that all queer couples face each time they go out and not today you just said the same thing even though they directly contradict-”

 Un-fucking-believable.

 JEHAN

I’m so sick of it

Its making me sick

When i see them i start to get a migraine. And chills

Is stupidity contagious?

 They’ll figure it out.

They’re so close.

They hardly ever fight anymore. I think they need to figure it out on their own

 --

 R

 why are you texting me at 7 in the morning

i was texting you at 3 in the morning. you should know im be asleep

 I’m texting you at 7 in the morning so you will know not to text me at 3 in the morning anymore

Anyway.

If I were to ask you out, would you say yes

 what

are you serious

wait don't answer that

yes.

if you are serious

fuck you if you arent

fuck you if this is courf

why arent you answering

 Sorry

I had to put my phone down

I was doing a victory dance and didn’t want to drop it

 youre a dork holy shit

im going on a date with a dork

i assume we’ll go to the musain?

 And let all our friends see us?

 good point

i know a good creperie four stops away from any of our friends apartments

 Perfect.

#Enjoltaire #Enjolras #Grantaire #Les Mis #Les Amis #Joly #Jehan #Courfeyrac #exrweek2017 #mine #did this is 2 hours im sorry its bad

[mysticdragon3md3]

md3 watches My Next Life As A Villainess ep6-12

8:20 PM 8/15/2020 My Next Life as a Villainess ep5 Crunchyroll on Firestick!  ^u^ . . . 8:50 PM 8/15/2020 My Next Life as a Villainess ep6 . 9:23 PM 8/15/2020 Wait.  Is that when Sophia remembered he past life?  If she was still just the Fortune Lover Sophia, then why would she disregard her feelings for Catarina and help Nicol confess to her during their shopping trip?   . . . 9:26 PM 8/15/2020 My Next Life as a Villainess ep7

Sasaki Atsuko must be Sophia.  I wonder if I would have experienced this better if I didn't already heard these spoilers.  

Damn it, episode! Don't make me cry!  ;o;  I cry too easily these days to withstand watching scenes of characters crying!  ;o;!  

9:47 PM 8/15/2020 Wait.  That dark cloud gave her the gem to help her out in the exam?  ^o^  And I know later it'll help save her with a tornado---and there it is.  So I guess Catarina already won the school president's heart/route if he's helping her already.  He was some kind of demon god, right?  I can't quite remember the spoilers I saw before.  Though because I already saw the spoilers, it enabled me to enjoy noticing all the times Catarina inadvertently said something that unexpectedly touched the Kaichou.  He's even started ditching groups of girls, just to go talk to Catarina.  I kind of like watching from his perspective, falling for her.  

I guess Sophia remembered her past life in this episode.  So I guess that means this new Catarina-protag version of Fortune Lover's Sophia wasn't in love with Catarina, which would explain why she was ok helping set up Nicol with Catarina.  I guess it was Aachan that was in love with Catarina.   . . . 9:54 PM 8/15/2020 My Next Life as a Villainess ep8

Why is it so cute when Kaichou is astonished at Catarina's small kindnesses towards him?  Maybe I"m just fixated on gray eyes right now, because I've been doing a lot of Photoshop this week, to make Nendoroid eyes gray to match Persona 5's Joker.  

I'm sorry I'm not writing many reactions for these episodes where I've already seen most spoilers for.  ;~;  But it does afford me to multi-task while watching anime.  @_@;  

I can't believe this magic book of desires never encountered someone's desire to eat before!  It couldn't fulfill Catarina's desire because all it's imaginary foods couldn't make her actually feel full?  C'mon, book.  I'm disappointed in you, if your speciality is fulfilling desires.  lol  Then again, if it grants a person's GREATEST desire, then I guess there arne't many people besides Catarina whose GREATEST desire is eating food.  LOL   . . . 10:23 PM 8/15/2020 My Next Life as a Villainess ep9

Is Ann going to turn out to be a reincarnated person too?  *o*  

is this a recap episode?  All from Ann's POV.  Well, I appreciate it including new angles to show Ann's POV, and not just a clip show.

So I guess even Aachan-awakened Sophia is still trying to set up Nicol with Catarina.  lol  This montage of Sophia speaking well of Nicol to Catarina, is so cute!  ^o^  I thought Sophia would start pursuing Catarina for her self now, but I guess not.  

Gawwwwww!!!!  Maria is so adorable!  ;u;  She's an angel!  ;U;  It's so weird that there are "Shonen protagonist's love interests" that I dislike, and even more odd that the cliche of "female character primarily centered around her crush on a guy" just make me so sickly bored---All while I love ingenue!  Maria Campbell, Megumi Tadokoro, Hinata Hyuga, Sanada Yukimura, etc.  

Nicol and Alan are up for the boy's PJ sleepover party!  ^o^  Socially-inept people unite!  ^o^  

Duke Claes takes in lots of distant relatives, huh?  First Keith, and now Ann.  He's actually exceptionally nice, huh?  ^-^  

I feel like Ann is becoming one of those adult-lady options from dating sims.  Or the older adult lady in a harem anime that is there more for eyecandy that the younger girls can't provide or to flaunt her authority as an older adult in the protagonist's non-romantic life.  

Is Geordo really not recognizing that that uncharacteristically formal card is a trap?---There we go.  lol  

Aw~!  Geordo's gift fits even more after she's made everyone change into gardening clothes.  ^_^  ...Of course everyone else got her shears too.  LOL  They were all there when she mentioned her old shears were getting dull. lol  

10:53 PM 8/15/2020 Ok.  We're getting into episodes that I didn't completley spoil, and I'm getting too distracted.  I have stuff to finish before midnight.  ...But I want to leave anime running...  Maybe Touken Ranbu Hanamaru marathon?  Or maybe even Touken Ranbu Katsugeki?  I've already watched all of both, so neither should distract me too much.  

10:55 PM 8/15/2020 Gah!  Ep10 is starting!  Gotta pause that for now.  

10:56 PM 8/15/2020 Uh...  Did Crunchyroll just crash, or did I accidentally back up out of the entire app?  Maybe I should give it a rest for today anyway.  Soemtiems apps on Firestick crash if I use them too long.  Like Twitch.  And yesterday Crunchyroll did that a bit too.  I guess it's back to YouTube.  That never crashes on Firestick.   . . . 6:05 PM 8/17/2020 My Next Life as a Villainess ep10

I spoiled this judgement clip form maybe Crunchyroll Collection's YouTube channel a while ago.  So I thought I could expect no tension, but I just realized, what if Sophia with Acchan's memories covers for Catarina by saying her "bullying record" was a fanfic!  Ideas for writing her own romance novel!  LOL  ^o^!!!  

This dark mist appearing again is an interesting subplot.  ---I just wish Maria woudl tell other people about seeing it!  ;o;!  Something bad is going to happen to my angel if she tires to confront it alone!  ;o;

SHE DISAPPEARED?!  WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!11  ;O;!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  

So if Kaichou already has Dark Magic, he doesn't need a human to sacrifice to get Dark Magic for himself...Does that mean Dark Magic users are like a secret cabal that gathers up sacrifices for others in their group to give each other Dark Magic?  

I was really hoping that the story would go with that trope of "if the protagonist maintains hope in the villain being good, they'll reveal that they really don't want to be a villain", and maybe that's how you conquer Kaichou's route.  But hearing him call Catarina detestable makes it sound like that's not going to happen.  

Yeah.  That doesn't makes sense. He's calling her a hypocrite?  He's primarily irritated that she helped out the loney guys?  Sounds like he's jealous.  Like he wanted Catarina to alleviate his lonliness too.  But because she didn't get as involved with him as the other husbandos, he feels like she's not living up to her image, and thus being a hipocrite.  So maybe this can STILL go in the direction of "redeeming the villain by being his friend"!  ^o^  That's the kind of tone this show  has seemed to have all along anyway.  ^_^  

I knew it!  Redeem his lonliness!  Catarina is so nice!  ;u;!!!  

Maybe I'm just a sucker for little cinnamon rolls with those big eyes and baby faces...But Kaichou from the start really did seem like he was suffering and lonely.  Maybe it was all those asides with Catarina, where he was astonished that she was nice to him, as if no one had been nice to him before.  Poor baby.  

Well, if Catarina gets swallowed up by darkness, maybe she'll find out where Maria went.   . . . 6:37 PM 8/17/2020 My Next Life as a Villainess ep11

omg I thought that seeing this modern Earth clip earlier would spoil the series ending, so I stopped it short!  But there's a whole 2 episodes after this scene!  This isn't the ending?!???????????  O.o!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  

I was like, "Wow, they're really holding on everyone's crying reaction shots, in reaction to the doctor's diagnosis".  But then, "Oh yeah, they have to build the stakes for her to wake up from her modern Earth dream".  

GAH!  ALL THESE BABY FLASHBACKS AARE KILLING ME!!!!!!!  ;U;  Don't make me cry, show!

"...so honest and straightforward as her..."  Alan made me realize it.  Catarina is a Shonen Protagonist.  ^o^  "Pure of heart; dumb of ass", that's a Shonen Protag.  ^o^  I love 'em!  

Wait, so Sophia hasn't completely realized she's a reincarnation yet?  Well, that explains why Acchan didn't do some 4th wall knowledge stuff.  

Wait.  Those aren't fire flies?  What are those green glowing dots?  

Is it just me or do a lot of Shojo genre Isekai end with the Heroine staying in the fantasy world?  I mean, except Escaflowne...And  Fushigi Yuugi, I think?  WAit, is even my recollection of most Shonen/male-protagonist Isekai series ending by returning to the "real world", even correct?...  My memory IS notoriously bad, after all...

SHOW, I TOLD YOU NOT TO MAKE ME CRY!!!  This goodbye scnee with Acchan is really good!!!

"I know you can save the president".  Why did Acchan have to tell Cataraina Kaichou's real name?  He's not "Sirius Deke"?  He's not part of the Deke family?  But if Geordo said the Deke family is established enough to have taken care of the storehouse for ages...  Was Kaihou forced into the Deke clan, and they're more a secret cabal of Dark Magic users, vs a biological family?  Does he resent being forced into the clan?  

It feels so weird rooting for a redemption resolution for Kaichou, after I've been railing against a redemption arc for Akechi Goro for years(?) now.  LOL  But Akechi is a bully, and bullies are my pet peeve.  Even if Kaichou's niceness was an act, I still have this nice impression of him.  And I like the Hope conveyed by redemption arcs, in general. Hope is one of my favorite story themes.  I love when the Hero can forgive a villain or see past the Universal Mother Goddess's monstocity.  That kind of forgivess and acceptance is the sweet, saccharine stuff I live for!  Pile it up!  ^o^  I want stories where everything is brought to a happy ending, and everyone is happy, no matter how impossible it may see to forgive someone or show compassion.  That's why Compassion is one of my other favorite themes:  In order to go through it all the way, it usually takes a really Strong character and real innovative immagination to not take the easy route and give up on someone.  (Unless they're Akechi, because fuck bullies.)  But Micchy, Lelouch, Devil Homura,...Let me keep believing you can be saved and happy together again with your friends.  ;u; So I hope Sirius Dieke, or whatever Kaichou's real name is, can be given Compassion and saved.

Well, I guess I'm finishing this series today.  ^o^  I wasn't expecting more than 2 episodes to get through today, but let's go for it!  One more push!   . . . 7:12 PM 8/17/2020 My Next Life as a Villainess ep12

Yes!  Start off by wanting to talk to him!  It's a Weak person who solves things immediately with violence!  Only the Strong take the risk to use Compassion!  ^o^  These stories are my jam!  

I was wondering why the Duchess Dieke's son looked just like Kaichou, but it's pretty clever that the story is finally making use of all these foreshadowed hints about mistresses' illegitamate children being a big issue in this world.  First, Keith's background was brought into question, then Maria's family was torn apart because of it, and then it seemed like Ann's mom was the Baron's mistress and not his wife.  I guess some character had to end up doing something horrible to the illigitamate kid in their family without Catarina there to save them.  

So is the dark cloud around Kaichou Siris's spirit?  

IDIOT!  if the dark magician just wanted to go home to his family!  Keep him alive in case something goes wrong and you need dark magic again!  

So is the dark cloud a combination of the dark magician's grudge and his grudge?  

Well, his memory of his mom's last words were warped by someone...  It's kind of weird for a mother character's last words to her little child would be to ask him to get revenge for her.  ...Oh, I guess the dark cloud was *just* the dark magician's grudge.  

Wait.  2nd years' graduation?  Their school is only 2 years long?  

Bring it on, Doom Flag!"  I wish I could meet every day like that.  lol  

The girls fallin gin the background when Nicol smiles is just the funniest animation!  lol  They just feel straight to the sides, like cut-out figures!  LOL  

I'm sorry if I should be paying attention to Catarina freaking out, remembering the reverse harem route, but Maira looks angelic right there!

This is a great confession scene, if you take away Catarina's reason for striding up to Maria in that cool way.  

"FRIENDSHIP ENDING"!  Read polyamory into it if you want, but I also like platonic friendships!  ;U;  It hardly ever gets the representation it needs!  ;o;  At least glorified to the same extent as romantic relationships.  ;o;  

Kaichou's tea!  SUPER FRIENDSHIP ENDING!  ;U;  

"Department of Magic". I guess they forgave all his crimes?  Maybe they considered Raphael to not be at fault since he was under the influence of a dark magic spirit?  I love this music box muic.  ;u;  

Happy ending!  ^o^  Now this is the happy, conflict-free, iyashikei stuff I love!  ^u^  

Now please don't get hit by a carriage while crossing the street.  

7:42 PM 8/17/2020 Oh no!  Cruchyroll just crashed during the commercial!  o~o!  Is there something during the credits?!  A post-credits scene or something?!  ;O;?????  Do I have to start the episode all over again, to find out?!?????  o~o!

Well, this YOuTube vid of ep12 makes it look like there wasn't anything after the scene I just watched before the commercial where Crunchyroll crashed.  So I guess that's it?  Maybe?  I'll reply the ep on Crunchyroll to make sure.  

7:51 PM 8/17/2020 Uh...  "Advertisement 5 of 5" and "1 Second Left" are stuck at the top of the screen, even after the commercials.  o.o?

"Marchiones"?  So many titles!  

Re-watching the episode, I can enjoy all the stuff I missed while frantically typing my reactions.  lol

maria is so cute and glowing at this graduation party!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  ;O;!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  ;U;!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  

That character in the background while Raphael works at the Department of Magic is why too complex of a character design.  Is he joining the regular cast in the next season?  Or should I say, was he a big deal in the light novels?  

8:10 PM 8/17/2020 Ok.  Last commercial break again.  Please don't crash this time, Crunchyroll.  I just don't feel right after finishing a series/movie, unless I sit through credits.  And that's even before the MCU did post-credit scenes!  

Oh, yeah, the opening theme wasn't at the beginning of this last episode.  I love when a theme song comes back into the end of a series!  Whether it's during the climactic final battle or the final end credits, it always holds all the weight of nostalgia for the entire series.  

Almost forgot:  So Raphael looks just like Sirius...I thought made sense because they had the same father.  But Raphael Walt looks just like him mom...who the Marquis Dieke obviously raped...  Was she his lower class relative?!!!!!!!???????????????  O~o???!!!!  Ugh.  That Marqui really was a low life, besides his known philandering reputaiton.  x_x;  

TOY SNAKES ARE A BIG HIT IN TOWN?!  LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  THIS SHOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  LOLLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Now I know this series was well written.  They won't leave a "Chekov's gun" just lying there, even if it ultimately gets used as purely a post-credits joke!  ^o^  

8:17 PM 8/17/2020 And that's it for Hamefura / Bakarina / My Next Life as a Villainess.  ^_^!  I'm so glad I preordered Catarina's Nendoroid!  ^-^!!!  Good show, good show.  ^-^  

#md3 watches my next life as a villainess #bakarina #reactions #md3watches

[michaelmullet-blog]

Honestly

I need to rant, I need to yell I need to say anything i want

I am scared to say anything, Idk my life has changed so fucking much. I dont know what i am any more. I dont know what i need. I dont know anything. this happyness wont last forever. Nothing does. There are still times where i want to just die. There are times where i legit cry cause im so impressed and just shocked at things. I am super strong some days. Then there are days where im just trying to not show anything.

I need ........................................... I dont feel like i should ever open up about that.

I want ............................................ I dont feel like i should ever open up about that.

The effect you have on me shakes me to my core. There are times where you say hello to me and my body twists and coils i lose the breath right out of my lungs. I panic i freak out. I dont get why. I use to get this with others but nothing like this, I swear there are times i can just faint. What is it that scares me so much what is it that makes me feel so uncomfortabliy worried? Its hightned alot after the nightmare. Is this the cause? and now your gone for a few days and im alone. Its not a bad thing, I am fine. There is more doubt inmyself when i message you. am i just sat here waiting till you finally find someone you want to date? Will that finally kill my little amount of hope left? Why do i think that one day you will want me? Ive changed so much still in hope, Like how fucking stupid? All cause you tell me we broke up cause you dont want love and a realationship. So that part of me still thinks maybe one day you will want that with me agian. Im honestly the dumbest cunt.

War inside me burns on. Scares me to death, Why am i still so hell bent here? Why do i still worry so much, Even you said it, you dont worry nearly even as half as much as i do. But why do it? You are so capable of everything You are an amazing person you have come from that beth i met to this blossming flower of just perfection. You have the skills and conferdence to do anything now. You go out and you dont need me to be on stand by, cause you got this shit, Tho im still a stress ball of stress. This i will never understand. 

Am i able to cope? I think i am doing very well, I wish mum wasnt as scared but im proud of me. Some times i wish people told me what they throught more of me but i think most people are proud. honestly I need people to tell me what they think more. when it comes to you its alot of having to yell at myself to be like she doesnt hate you at times, i really just am in need of some srs tlc

I miss you trying to impress me, I miss the over the top flirting in front of people. not when we were together but before that when we were fucking and just legit enjoying life and everyone was like u guys dating we like fucking hell no. I miss so much, and tahts not to say that i dont love everything here, even you have been saying it its been perfect. I think so aswell things actually been fucking great. I just miss the few small things like the flirting and sending me little fun videos haha the wanting me, I still always aim to impress you and do all the things we use to, there are just times where im like u use to want to craft me 1000 things and make me happy and feel special but now i feel like more of a chore then someone you need to impress. none the less thats all totally up to u if u ever wanted to do that, we could stay like how we are forever and i woudl be happy, The happyness i get is crazy. I hope you feel the same. Maybe i just miss you telling me how you feel more oftern, cause its times like today where i need it most.