#i will never allow it to be printed.

[morningmarionette]

later km gonna type up and post some excerpts from my therapy journal i had to keep up with this week bc i think theyre rlly interesting. the most interesting by far, if you care to get to know me that is, is the last lil bit I wrote about Scott and I's names. Obviously idk how he felt but I gave my experiences with being named after someone else (bc the journal is abt me mind you) and I just think theyd might be interesting to someone else out there. maybe.

#mari real life posts #dorian reads classics #great gatsby <3 #that and my constant talking abt gatsby 😭 #the journal was supposed to be abt my feelings AND IT IS....i wrote abt how Gatsby made me feel. #dont ask me why typing out great gatsby js just too much btw ill simply pretend i do not see it #im blaming this on band actually and how we shorten EVERYTHING for convenience #malagueña? mal. #los cuervos? los (or cuervos depending on the person) (i said cuervos) #land of make believe? land. #same with choir tbh #i one day kinda wanna publish this journal and let ppl read some of my thoughts #i think itd be interesting #but no matter what if i do end up publishing it it has to always be a copy of the handwritten work #i will never allow it to be printed. #if i ever actually seriously wrote any of my ideas down and it had rhe chance to be published i wouldnt want it to be printed. #i like the raw emotions in handwritings. #also i like looking at how the authors we hold at the highest regards have handwriting that would be failed in schools #i want to let yall know that my cat just walked by btw <3 #i said hi for you all <3 #i hope i tagged this with a rambles tag cuz wow

[jattendschaton]

so there is an actress I follow on Instagram who posted a story of some artwork she had on her walls and she had a Ladynoir print! And I recognized the Ladynoir print! I already followed the artists and they're relatively small—only a thousand followers or so—and I thought it was so cool that this actress with 6m+ followers had their artwork on her walls! So I send the story to their DMs explaining that it's their artwork in the photo and how cool that is before realizing that, while the artwork looks very similar, it is not...the exact same...

Of course, I immediately try to unsend the message, but Instagram won't let me! There is no unsend option! Apparently you can only unsend a message after the person has accepted the message (WHY??) and just deleting the whole conversation on your end does nothing to delete it on theirs.

I feel like I am fully going insane at this point, I'm so embarrassed and anxious I feel sick, so I make my roommate do a series of experiments with me on her own IG account so I can figure out a workaround to get these messages deleted. Long story short, I have now blocked an artist I really like and can never unblock them lest my embarrassing messages become known :')

#bean talks #this is so stupid and so mild #but i genuinely was freaking the fuck out about it as soon as I realized I was wrong about the artwork #in my defense it's just one print on her walls that were filled with prints! #so the camera was very far away and the artwork was small #and the print really did look similar to this other artist's :' :' :' they even had a butterfly in like the exact same position #i was SO confident #and this is why i should never be allowed to be confident about anything ever!!!!! #anyway I guess I could unblock/refollow the artist after a day because the story will have disappeared by then #so they'll never know my shame of being stupid and wrong #but honestly i think i just have to take the L here and pretend I never existed #my first thought was honestly i should just delete the whole account so this is less dramatic than that at least #sorry artist if you got a notification of a dm that you will never see #it's better this way

[strawberri-syrup]

i wish all parents who control how their children look a very explode and die

#sincerely my mother didnt let me cut my hair how i wanted for 7 years and told me it was because i never found #a reference photo when i DID and i PRINTED THEM OUT to show her and she said no #then lied to my hairdresser about it #oh also she makes me wear dresses adn gets mad when i wear sports bras everywhere #also im not allowed to get any piercings or tatoos if i want to keep my college fund and cant get a buzz cut

[sysig]

I decided to give a go to @niennanir’s lovely print-your-own-fic recipe on my Inside and Out as a test run and I’m quite pleased with the results as a first pass :D

I wish I’d taken a few more process pictures but there was a slight lull as I had to go shopping for 12x12 cardstock lol, but! I do have a couple closeups/extras that I added for funsies :D

I went with freehanding the title and I think in the future I would opt to not do that lol, at least not without a printed template. That said, both LibreOffice and SAI refuse to recognize my SCII fonts >:0 If you notice on the first page, I used the Ace Attorney font in italic haha, it’s an okay alternative even if it’s not what I actually want |0 I am happy with the gold detailing tho :3c

I did have an unconscionable amount of fun freehanding the ship caption tho ahh <3 <3 Immediate happy stims upon completion, their names together look so pretty ♥ Credit to Zarla’s original minicomic on that one :3

I also managed to get the last sentence of the fic isolated on the last page thanks to the formatting haha ♪

I was also able to add a bookmark! Ma happened to have a couple very thin ribbons to choose from and red ended up complementing the green very prettily!

It reminds me of VUX tongues hehehehe ❤️💕💖💞

#What do I tag this lol #SCII #I am continually and incurably in love with papercrafts <3 #Hard to believe it's been since Pokemon Homestyle since I've given anything a go! These darn talented artists inspiring me! Lol #Honestly tho I would absolutely recommend this project :D The prep work is manageable and friendly and the action itself is enjoyable #Depending on how much you enjoy repetitive motions haha ♪ Folding and creasing the pages was very relaxing to me :) #I went for my own fic as a first run since y'know - I have very direct access to it lol #Plus it'd be less sad if I messed something up - I want to do right by my favourites from other artists! I'm allowed to make my own mess lol #Also finally convinced me to return to the loving embrace of LibreOffice after like a decade away lol #I just never had a reason to redownload it! Wordpad does exactly what I want 95% of the time! #But it couldn't do columns so okayyyyy fiiiiine I'll get it again (lol) I do rather like it :) #There's still some things I'd change! I'm sure you can see from the pages where you can see both edges that the layout's a bit uhmmmm #Skewed? Corner-heavy? Lol just a matter of changing the borders :) LibreOffice's measurements are wack tho :P #But I fully intend to do this again! :D Print a few test sheets first >:3c Legitimately looking forward to it! #Probably gonna do another one of mine next before I give a go to someone else's I'd like to keep #I have ideas for how to improve! And better and more plentiful supplies! It makes me want to make! :D #Oh yeah and being in the book-making mood reminded me of one of the Vargas-as-a-psuedo-bible ideas I had but didn't put anywhere lol #If I may posit for your consideration: Before as the Old Testament and After as the New Testament :3c #I'd Absolutely buy two versions - And a full version for the record lol I would easily own multiple copies of physical!Vargas lol #Fun thought to me hehehehe ♪♫

[trashlie]

Big shout out to the reddit user who went to Anime Expo and picked up a whole bunch of these exclusive posters for those of us who couldn't attend. Mine arrived today (on ILY day no less!!!!!!) and SOBS it's sooooo SOOOOOOOO pretty I'm gonna frame this and hang it in my office so I can stare at it whenever I'm screaming into my ILY Brainrot tag 😭😭😭😭😭😭💕 I'm so, so overjoyed 🥺

#ashlie.txt #ILY Brainrot #I'm always sooooo sad that I never got to be in the Lil Buddy patreon tier and this have no ILY prints 😭😭😭 #i wish she could post all of them to inprnt so i could buy them that way but i bet WT doesn't allow it #for IP reasons :< boooooo

[traumadumpling]

My friends can never say I don't love them because I'm taking my ass to church tomorrow because one of them is singing

This will be the third or fourth time I've gone to church for her. Praise jebus hallelujah etc

#no but for real i never know what to wear to church. is leopard print allowed? its prob gonna be allowed right

[petewentzisblack1312]

im fighting for my life trying to put posters up on my painted concrete walls without ruining them or the poster falling off. i tried blue tac and so much got left on the wall when i took it down that my mom banned me from having posters. and it stained the poster too. i got these mounting squares that i was super excited about but that sucked too (smaller poster pulled off the wall and larger + heavier one straight up fell off). at sewing center they had mounting tape and im thinking about getting that and trying it but im not holding my breath. does anyone have any advice.

#dils declares #ive lived my whole life with bare walls because ive never owned a printer and printing shit is expensive as hell #and no one worked in a place with a printer and even when they did i wasnt allowed to print anything #and if i wanted posters i had to get them from online stores. #i actually did get a nerdfighteria poster if you want somethinf to bully me about. #anyway i got a cool poster with my mania preorder that i had up #and atlas sent me a poster with the slipmat #and i cant put either of them up properly #plus i have a shit ton of postcards shit i wanna put up there

[stargazostli]

silly gcse art class art dump thing

idk i just thought i should put these somewhere other than my school book

the last two are art studies, originals and other info under cut

(both Roy Lichtenstein)

mediums in order: pen, monoprinting/ paint, graphite/ pencil, lino printing/ paint again, acrylic paint

I've done more since and am going to (at the teacher's suggestion) paint the mona lisa so yeah uhh yk will maybe update when that happens

its 1am and i may have gotten a concussion or at least a bloody great whack to the back of my head this morning so don't feel that great and have been trying not to fall asleep all day but im getting pretty tired now and the random adrenaline rush i get in the evening is running out so uhhh night ig

#art gcse #also this is literally the first two terms and ive never been the best at still life so pls dont judge too hard #art #young artist #i think? #im not like crazy young but like im also not yet allowed to drive so im pretty young #roy lichtenstein #pen drawing #monoprint #graphite #lino printing #acrylic painting #feel free to ramble about ramble stuff #im nosy and bored and feel happy when people are open to me #even if under the guise of anonymity #also sorry if this sounds a bit monotone. like i said - im tired - and also autistic so that mask is waaaay off #im just rambling now #eh #bye

[cheekblush]

just woke up from a horrible dream about my chemistry final tomorrow 😭

#it felt so REAL i woke up with my heart racing bc i was so scared 😭 #immediately checked my phone bc i thought the exam is TODAY but no today is sunday the exam is tomorrow i need to calm down 😩 #i took a break from studying yesterday & just relaxed the whole day & clearly my subconciousnes is now making me feel guilty for it 😞 #i hate when my worst fears creep into my dreams like please let me sleep in peace i'm already anxious enough 😭 #i genuinely was so scared the exam was today & i'm completely unprepared bc there's still so much i need to study 😭😭😭 #in the dream i showed up to the exam & there was a delay bc they didn't print out enough copies but some students already got theirs #so i asked someone if i could look through their exam paper & i was absolutely mortified when i didn't know a single answer #so then i started to feel nauseous & talked to my teacher outside the classroom saying i was feeling unwell & he got PISSED #we always have to sign a paper right before the exam if we feel healthy/fit enough to participate #so i guess dream me thought if i told my teacher about it he would be understanding & let me leave but he got so angry 😭 #he said he saw me flipping through the exam paper (which obviously isn't allowed) & that's the only reason i'm feeling unwell now #then i confessed that i didn't have much time to prepare for chemistry bc of all the other exams which made him even angrier #then he basically humiliated me in front of the entire class telling them i'm retracting my exam participation in a joking manner #he kept saying i have to repeat another year & making fun of me... i was crying so much in front of the entire class 😭 #he wouldn't answer my questions anymore & then another teacher came & told me to leave & that's when i woke up in panic 😫 #usually i never remember my dreams & i'd rather it stays that way instead of having such horrible dreams 😭😭😭 #i hope this isn't a bad sign & that i'll manage the exam tomorrow.. i'm honestly so scared i just want to pass 😔 #the dream was honestly so scary.. i could see my teacher's face SO CLEARLY & all the little mannerisms he always does... #like he always has to turn everything into a joke.... ugh this is so unsettling please please please let me pass this exam 😞 #just a few weeks ago he gave us these really difficult questions for exam preparation & even our chemistry aces were struggling with them #when i asked if the exam will also be so difficult he just laughed 😭😭😭 #he later clarified that the exam won't include such difficult questions but like why use them for exam preparation then???? #everyone was so frustrated & discouraged after those questions #all the other teachers just revised all the study material with us & gave us questions that really prepared us for the exams #i'm seriously terrified of tomorrow now... i'm so scared i'll just be staring at the exam paper & not being able to answer anything 😭 #okay let me calm down.... i wrote a whole essay in the tags 😭😭😭 #☁️

[sorry-i-spaced]

*

#todays open was not it and im not doing well emotionally #our main expresso machine was being a certified butt this morning and halfway through dialing in we realized we needed to switch to the #other certfiable butt expresso machine #so we redialed in and then the tickets werent printing and things that should have been put out/collected during the open duties didnt #and then while on expresso everything undialed itself and we had to fix it while getting orders (the shots were pulling horribly #and then ontop of that people keep getting 5hr shifts instead of the 8hrs #i have come to an understanding that i will never get a 5hr cause i only work 3 days and im at peace with that but im still allowed to be #jealous of those who do. but when i made that comment to someone they were like well thats because you only work 3 days #and im like I'm still allowed to be jealous and they were like we want what we cant have and were just being really condescending #and im on my lunch and straight up almost started crying due to how shit everything this morning has been #im just ready for 3pm to roll around #liz says things

[dokyeomini]

why do ppl expect chemists to have the entire periodic table memorized??????

#as if we have time for that lmao??? #every time there's a chemical element question a hint is the number they're like expecting me to just spit out the answer agjslhl #sure i know hydrogen and helium an calcium by heart but that's honestly abt it #i remember where they approximately are but i forget how many rows and colums there are sometimes #in the transition metals section #and that messes up trying to figure out where which numbers are #in uni we didn't learn the 20 first epements by heart like we did in middle school #but we learned abt which characteristics change in which direction in the table #suprise suprise we were always allowed to use the table printed out during exams when it was necessary #pub quizzes and trivia is another thing #i could learn it for that but i've never bothered #sorry i just get annoyed at it algkg #today someone said they didn't expect me to get the answer wrong #and tbh i only got the answer wrong bc i forgot they asked the 19th element (it wasn't in the question but they gave it as a hint #and i was thinking abt the forst 20 elements we learned in middle school and i knew the 20th was calcium and i was just so focused ln that #that i forgot they asked the 19th aglkslj #so im SORRY i disappointed all lf you aglksj #i have never claimed to be smart but everyone expects me to know everything to do with chemistry...... #as if i expect my geographer friends to know every fucking flag or country by the outline..... #god what an essay alhkdöj #this didn't end up in my notes app after all #i actually wanted to vent akhksj

[airbenderedacted]

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I GOT ALL THE STUFF I HAVE DUE AT THE END OF NEXT WEEK AND myfirststtemptat THE QUIZ I HAVE DUE TOMORROW DONE TONIGHT!!!! BEFORE MIDNIGHT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A AKIOPADHUA AUA YSAG AAA AA AAA!!!!!!!!

#TWO DISCUSSIONS (the first of which i did the most of yesterday and ened up being SIX FUCKING PAGES THERE WERE SO MANY QUESTIONS) #THREE CHAPTERS OF MATH HOMEWORK #AND SPECIAL ED QUIZ #WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO #i got an 80 on the quiz so i wanna take a second crack at it tomorrow (we're only allowed two) AND!!!! AND THAT'S IT THAT'S EVERYTHING #THEN ALL I'LL HAVE TO DO TOMORROW IS PRINT OUT ALL THE STUFF I NEED TO TAKE WITH ME FOR MY FIELD EXPERIENCE HOURS ON MONDAY #AND UMMM.... AND YEAH THAT'S IT #I HAVE A TEST ON CH 1-7 FOR MATH ON WED SO I MIGHT DO THAT TOMORROW TOO BC UM. IDK IF I'LL BE ALL THAT PRIMED FOR IT NEXT WEEK SINCE.. #I'LL BE SPENDING MON-THURS WAKING UP AT 5 & GOING TO VOLUNTEER FROM 8-1:30 SO LIKE.. YEaaahh. #BUT YO!!!!! YOOOOO THIS MEANS I GET MOST OF TOMORROW TO JUST CHILL AND!! YEYEEAAAHHHHH #i don't think i've had a day to just relax since classes started so EEEE #i'm happy i'm happy i'm happy i'm happy #i've NEVER been this good on school work befkore. i'm going to fucking explode THIS FEELS SO GOOD TO BE ACCOMPLISHING #WITHOUT IT KICKING THE ABSOLUTE SHIT OUT OF ME LIKE!!!!!!!!!!!! AOUGGGHHGHH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[daydadahlias]

Ooh i love asking silly fic questions so im gonna jump in! (If thats alright :))

Which of all the couples you wrote in your fics is most likely to be end game and which the least?

Ofc it’s alright!!! I love silly fic questions!! Thank you for asking!! I will say, I never really think that much about my guys long term. I’m just showing you a little snippet of their lives, y’know, and I don’t have much clue what happens afterwards. So I’ve never really thought about this question before!!! And it was a lot of fun (and a little sad lmfao) to scroll through all my fics and go “oh you guys probably breakup don’t you?”

Anyway, I think the couple that 100% stays together and never breaks up are cashton from Subject Line and also lashton in Portable Player. I feel good about those guys; I don’t see them ever going their separate ways. Honestly, I always write my fics with kind of the assumption that the guys in the main pairing are “made” for each other in a ways.

That being said, the guys in Bittersweet totally break up and stop talking after high school, sorry.

And lashton in Paint Me never really get together in the first place; they just fuck a couple times and then subsequently go their separate ways :)

#pigeon #anon #am I legally allowed to say that #feel free to tell me ur thoughts on who you think is end game !!! #I’ve literally never thought abt what happens after the world of the fi C #fic** #for really any fic except Will Be and Fine Print and somewhat Scene 14

[scientia-rex]

When I was in ninth grade I wanted to challenge what I saw as a very stupid dress code policy (not being allowed to wear spikes regardless of the size or sharpness of the spikes). My dad said to me, “What is your objective?”

He said it over and over. I contemplated that. I wanted to change an unfair dress code. What did I stand to gain? What did I stand to lose? If what I really wanted was to change the dress code, what would be my most effective potential approach? (He also gave me Discourses on the Fall of Rome by Titus Livius, Machiavelli’s magnum opus. Of course he’d already given me The Prince, Five Rings, and The Art of War.)

I ultimately printed out that phrase, coated it in Mod Podge, and clipped it to my bathroom mirror so I would look at it and think about it every day.

What is your objective?

Forget about how you feel. Ask yourself, what do you want to see happen? And then ask, how can you make it happen? Who needs to agree with you? Who has the power to implement this change? What are the points where you have leverage over them? If you use that leverage now, will you impair your ability to use it in the future? Getting what you want is about effectiveness. It is not about being an alpha or a sigma or whatever other bullshit the men’s right whiners are on about now. You won’t find any MRA talking points in Musashi, because they are not relevant.

I had no clear leverage on the dress code issue. My parents were not on the PTA; neither were any of my friend’s parents who liked me. The teachers did not care about this. Ultimately I just wore what I wanted, my patent leather collar from Hot Topic with large but flattened spikes, and I had guessed correctly—the teachers also did not care enough to discipline me.

I often see people on tumblr, mostly the very young, flail around in discourse. They don’t have an objective. They don’t know what they want to achieve, and they have never thought about strategizing and interpersonal effectiveness. No one can get everything they want by being an asshole. You must be able to work with other people, and that includes smiling when you hate them.

Read Machiavelli. Start with The Prince, but then move on to Discourses. Read Musashi’s Five Rings. Read The Art of War. They’re classics for a reason. They can’t cover all situations, but they can do more for how you think about strategizing than anything you’re getting in middle school and high school curricula.

Don’t vote third party unless you can tell me not only what your objective is but also why this action stands a meaningful chance of accomplishing it. Otherwise, back up and approach your strategy from a new angle. I don’t care how angry you are with Biden right now. He knows about it, and he is both trying to do something and not doing enough. I care about what will happen to millions of people if we have another Trump presidency. Look up Ross Perot, and learn from our past. Find your objective. If it is to stop the genocide in Palestine now, call your elected representatives now. They don’t care about emails; they care about phone calls, because they live in the past. I know this because I shadowed a lobbyist, because knowing how power works is critical to using it.

How do you think I have gotten two clinics to start including gender care in their planning?

Start small. Chip away. Keep working. Find your leverage; figure out how and when to effectively use it. Choose your battles, so that you can concentrate on the battle at hand instead of wasting your resources in many directions. Learn from the accumulated wisdom of people who spent their lives learning by doing, by making mistakes, by watching the mistakes of their enemies.

Don’t be a dickhead. Be smarter than I was at 14. Ask yourself: what is your objective?

[im2tired4usernames]

Every single time I defend someone shitty who has done nothing but be a cunt to me because they did 1 (ONE ) decent thing THEY ALWAYS TURN AROUND AND DO SOMETHING SO MUCH WORSE TO ME

#every single time i praise aomeone for turning a new leaf they fuck me over #my life is continuing getting worse and worse and worse and worse and i really don't know how much longer i want to deal with this shit #if things do not change soon I'm quitting I'll run away and i will never come back #i praise y sister for growing up she steals and then lies about it and i print with out a shadow of a doubt she did it wont admit it #coworker who bums job off onto me dose. one piece of work then fucked off and dowe nothing else all day then spreads rumors i lied about my #moms cancer #like i can pull up her obituary bitch #dad dose 1 nice thing then like let's me go to bed instead of doing all the dishes that accumulate while i was at work #then need day turns me back into a slave #is goin to marry his yandere bitch gf my mother has not been dead a year yet good for him #I'm done #i hate being alive i can't daydream about anything anymore except death #i used to be able to daydream ocs n stories that stopped years ago then it was day dreaming about a better life with my wife #that's hard to believe it'll ever happen in just trapped and my dad constantly discourages me getting independent or doin anything for mysel #no don't get a full time job don't move out you cam never do it no don't try to learn sewing again doing try dnd again doing make new friend #don't do anything to make like nice #I'm allowed Wednesday nights after the kids go to church and that's it and if it clashes with family aucks to be me #and i don't get to make. it up the next day like dad #i cant stand my life i hate it so much #i hate my family minus my four youngest siblings #i hate my job i hate waking up i hate feeling exhausted all the time #being alive is disappointment and work I'm tired of it #I'm tired #i dont want to do this anymore #i need something to change but I'm trapped nothing will change unless i do it #and i hate that I'll probably have to leave ao much behind

[trashbatistrash]

,

#I have also fallen victim to one piece tbh #the live action adaptation is pretty great #it’s no secret I’m a weeb but like #my only experiences with one piece back in the day was when I was casually reading it discordantly #in my local translated jump clone that only countries like mine would allow to print #like yeah I know the basics of OP but I would never really consider myself a fan #live action one piece really got me eager for more #it even got my basically normie sister into it lmao #it was fun 10/10 I’d love to watch it again #I’m not like ‘rotating them in my mind’ levels of obsessed tho so I probs won’t reblog anything of it here tbh #I’m just saying I get it now