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minniewoos · 4 years

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Kim Woojin Mafia! Headcanons

woojin was the calmest

it was clear to see

amidst all the cold hearted assassins and crazies

hes the medic

as well as second in command

cause when chan gets mad, woojins able to put a level head to the situation

hes also the go-to guy when Chans out of commission

he honestly doesnt know how he got into all of this

woojin was a guy youd least expect to be involved with mafia

hes well-mannered, polite, and level-headed

but the world is strange

and now half the time he has to babysit the maknae line

who can get into petty fights at times

and woojin just cant wrap his head around why hyunjins headband is off-limits

and had to calm hyunjin down after jisung lost said headband

hyunjin and jisung are fighting

jeongins complaining about the water pressure

sometimes...he just ignores it

headaches are frequent

and so are scoldings

he really had to scold jisung to stop picking on seungmin when he was injured

jisung scrunched his face and slumped in his chair

pouty

but he really does care about the boys

although when they come to him for the dumbest injuries, he really does question them

"how did you get these bruises"

"oh they had a lot of fruit"

"what...fruit"

"fruit"

"okay"

woojin found out there was an attack at some warehouse for delivering food

jisung was making a deal

and when it went sour, they just knocked piles of produce onto him

jisung was too embarrassed to explain anything else

woojin doesnt judge tho

Lowkey does tho

but he doesnt show it

he loves all the boys tho

a soft spot grew for everybody

the boys saw woojin as a safe place

a spot for healing

he was like home

one day seungmin, of all people, came to him to talk

seungmin was struggling and just needed to talk about it

woojin was really happy about it, and gave seungmin the comfort he needed

"hyung, thank you."

"i didnt do much, don't worry about it."

it really made him smile

some days he just wonders how he ended up with skz

he needed a job, desperately

he was working on a medical degree but had trouble making money

and one day...

he encountered chan

in some back, sketchy ally

but chan was dying and bleeding out

and a little loopy and almost shot woojin

since chan was very out of it, woojin disarmed the bloody fucker

and of course woojin being woojin, helped him out

despite chans insistence on "absolutely NO ambulance. they-theyre bad..lots of money...moola... "

woojin complied

even if he thought Chans weird rambling was due to the blood loss

from a gunshot wound in his stomach

thankfully didnt hit any vitals

but woojin did bring him home and patch him up

he had some first aid stuff at home and, thankfully, enough stuff to stop the amounts of blood

but chan must've inhaled something weird

cause mans was out of it

"i said don't touch it, itll make it worse."

"but it i t c h e s."

"what did I just say????"

woojin really had to swat chans grown ass hand away like a child

chan was acting like one tho

woojin just thought chan was high and a drug deal went wrong

well....he was

but chan informed him that it was involuntary

it was from whoever attacked him

and he was meeting up with some other people to exchange some moola for the mafia

and he was mobbed

woojin wasnt gonna listen to chans talks about being the mafia boss

and being a millionaire

and basically being this super cool dude who you saw in the movies

cause what woojin saw in that moment:

a baked college kid who got mugged

and was crashing on his couch

yes. woojin just went to sleep after that

he just fell asleep as if it were a normal day

as if he didnt just save Chans life

stay unbothered king

the next morning tho

chan was sober and thoughougly embarrassed

he apologized

profusely

and after, offered woojin a job

and woojin said 🤨

obviously didnt believe chan

so chan left peacefully, once again thanking woojin

it wasnt until a few months later, they ran into each other again

a bit more put together than their last meeting

chan offered woojin the job again

and broke college student!woojin, said yes

cause mans needed the money bad

and imagine the reaction from woojin when he discovers chan wasnt lying

and so he became a part of the mafia

and well, a pretty big part of the mafia

he quickly rose to be the right hand man and top medic

since he got along surprisingly well with chan

well, woojin didnt get the best first impression of him anyway

there was a problem though

you

you were a problem

not in any bad way, you were the perfect girlfriend

woojin loved you to bits

he would bend over backwards for you if you so wished

and you felt the same

woojin was your big, safe, and loving boyfriend

he was your boyfriend who gave the best hugs

the man who would sing you to sleep if a nightmare scared you too much

he would give you the first bite of his food

and let you steal his hoodies whenever you wished

and all the big little things that came with loving woojin

that was what woojin was to you

a relationship with years underneath its belt

you were positive you could trust woojin with your life

that was until he slowly became busier

he was able to graduate college, but even after he was still so so busy

hed always say he was at his job

but

WHAT job?

some days he didnt even come home at night

at first you always said it was okay

but after so long, it was getting to you

little did you know...

your big cuddley boyfriend was the right hand man of the mafia

and woojin planned to keep it that way

it would only worry you and put you into more trouble

but eventually he couldnt hide it anymore

and he knew that

but he had absolutely no idea how to tell you

"oh ya babe, i've been in the mafia for a few years. i gotta go now, bye, love ya."

ya, um, no

you would kill him

and he wasnt even sure what you would think

you were just so...pure

not naive or innocent

you were mature

but just, a very good soul

and he was positive you would disaprove

and woojin was well

scared

he didnt want to lose you

and that worried him the most

he spent as much time with you as he could

but it was getting tough

he could sense your unease

and it made him feel guilty

chan thinks he should tell you

but chan also knows just how woojin is

woojin liked to be humble, thoughtful, and calm

it would take him time

but woojin just wanted to keep you safe and happy

and that's what he promised to do for you

ever since you began dating years ago

he promised youd be safe with him

and he plans to keep that promise

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bolbianddolanhouse · 5 years

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BNHA AU [self insert]

Nani the heck is this? read here!

Chapter 1: *plays Joji’s Yeah Right*

“...and heres your living quarters, fully furnished and with groceries that’ll last a while” said my case worker as I meekly followed next to them.

“thank you! its really nice.” I said, trying to not sound sad.

“I know its tough being young and by yourself, but I believe in you Miss Palma! Don’t hesitate to give us a call if you have questions or need other arrangments.”

“thank you for your kind words, I’ll keep that in mind” I said as politely as I could because I knew I wasn’t going to call them for shit. “Ill get my luggage out of my car, its not much so I’ll be fine if you need to leave”

“oh alright, Ill leave you to settling in and remember that a UA staff will be coming by with your uniforms tomorrow in the afternoon.”

oh jeez I forgot about that, not looking forward to get fat shamed in this country, let alone by a school staff. “oh right! it almost slipped my mind that here you wear uniforms in high school! hehe thank you for the reminder!”

“no problem! Bye bye”

oof! I was getting tired of pretending to be polite to that case worker. The past 3 months has been tough with the whole being sent away from my family and finding a school with nearby housing. At least I can sleep well without thinking where I’ll end up next. I unpack my 3 suitcases of clothes, personal belongings, cosmetics and other nessities. I take out my framed photo of my family and place it on my bed stand, I miss them and the doggos. I try not to cry and continue to put my things away. I made myself dinner, took a bath and laid in bed; and I’m thinking if I should call my parents to tell them I got settled. I checked the time, it was 4am their time, I sent a text instead.

[Hola mama y papa! ya estoy en mi apartamento, es muy lindo. Llama me cuando puedas, te extrano mucho y tambien a los doggos!]

I haven’t talked to my parents in a week because of the whole phone arrangement and being too busy with the entrance exam. Now I guess I’ll sleep and do some school supply shopping after meeting with the staff member.

-the next day-

Its saturday and its gloomy out and I wake up thinking, great! even the sky knows its going to be a rough day today! I get dressed, eat and gluzzle down my daily 2 cups of coffee. I scroll through my private social media handles to check on my friends, looks like they’re having fun, without me. I suck in the tears because I know DAMN well they’re sad I’m gone too. I distract myself with memes and I think maybe I should make some tea? and some cookies too? do i even have tea? I go through the cupboads and pantry, the case worker wasn’t kidding when they said that I had groceries that’ll last a while! I had 2 different types of tea, dry pastas, canned goods, snacks and some traditional ingredients for japanese and mexican cusine. I go searching for a kettle or teapot and I find a juicer in the way back of the top cupboard. There was a note on the juicer that said ‘to the next tenant, my wife didn’t want to take this big, messy thing to our next place, hope you find use out of this!’ I laugh at the idea that there was probably a lovers quarral over the juicer. I make tea and some green juice, just so I can get rid of the bundle of kale in the fridge, I hate kale. I make some cookies too but its just so I can get my mind off things since I was so nervous on meeting this staff member. Right on the dot, at 3pm, theres a knock at my door. I look through the peep hole and I see this woman with blue eyes and dark purple-ish, black hair in busniess causal attire. I open the door and put on my best ‘everything is ok’ face.

“hello! are you Miss Palma?”

“yes I am! are you the UA staff member with the uniforms?”

“I am! its so nice to meet you, I am Kayama sensei or better know as Midnight”

“Midnight? Ok um, would you like to come inside?”

“oh yes, thank you! Now I understand that you live alone?” she said as she walked in to the apartment.

“yes thats correct, I got here yesterday and settled in”

“oh wow, and at such a young age! Well If you need anything or need to talk about anything thats bothering you, please let me know! This whole you being separated from family and home worries me” She said in the most sincer tone that I almost started crying. I haven’t heard single person talk to me so genuinely since I left America and I need a trusted adult to help me, I heavily considered her offer.

“oh thank you for your offer, I might need some help in a few weeks BUT for now, may I offer you some tea? coffee? green juice? maybe some cookies?”

“green? juice? whats in it? I’ve never heard of green juice before”

“oh right! its a California health culture thing. Its the juice of pinapple, apple, kale, lemon and cucumber. The combination of the fruits and vegetables is for a healthy disgestive system and energy for before or after exersize”

“that sounds tasty! Ill have green juice please”

I serve her the juice and sit across from her in the living room. I see the clothing bags and think that thats alot of clothing bags just to give me 3 sets of uniforms. She drinks the juice and wanted to say something about my expression when I saw the bags but her eyes widened and she looked at the cup of juice.

“OH MY GOODNESS! this is the best and freshest juice I’ve ever had NO JOKE! You said this is a thing where you’re from? I need to invest in a juicer to make this at home!” she said so shocked and I was surprised to recieve the praise like I invented the juice.

“I’m glad you like it! Its like a little slice of my hometown to me to you”

“oh? ok back to business! I see you eyeing the uniforms, you want to try them on? I brought some sizes up and down from the given mesurements.”

“um ok sure! Let me take these to try on in my room, ill be right out”

I take the bags to my room and I zip them open and I see the white collared shirts, gray blazer looking thing and skirts. I think oh jeez my ass is definately not gonna fit in these bitches. I put on the shirt and blazer that best fit and lastly the skirt, SUPRIZE! you can see my ass cheeks hanging out from the bottom. I walk out of the room to Midnight.

“ok so I found a shirt and top that fits well on me BUT the skirt...” and I turn around and show her my exposed ass cheeks peeking underneath.

“oh dear, thats definately not in regulation! Ok so you need a longer skirt? like... another 6 inches?” she said as she takes out a measuring tape from her purse.

“um yea, if thats doable”

“it is but we won’t have that ready until the 1st day of classes, so I guess for now, try on the pants and see if any of those fit”

Great. I’m going into a new school, misgendered and foreign passing. 2 of the pants in the clothes bag fit well....too well. We said our good byes and I had at least 2 sets of uniforms ready until I get a proper pair. No matter, at least my ass won’t be hanging out at school. I go school supply shopping and came upon the holy grail of stationary, SCENTED PAPER AND GLITTER PENS. Of course in the pastel rainbow colors and matching lead pencils. I get a whole matching set along with a backpack, water bottle and coffee tumbler. I was going to soon regret that matching set (more on that later) but I was just SO happy that I was pink, pretty and sparkly.

-Fast forward to the 1st day-

I was in a much better mood because the sun was out, the coffee smelled particularly good, I made myself look cute but toned down for a good 1st day impression. I grab my keys and think I think I’m forgeting one detail? What could it be? and I thought Oh! I need to text my parents that I’m happy and I’m going to school now! I am noticably happy that the nice front desk lady of my housing noticed and wished me luck on my 1st day. I get in my car and I have 1 hour to get to school but its only a 8 minute drive and I wanted to circle to find parking and see where the entrance is so I can teleport from wherever I parked. I pass the gates before seeing the parking and I think oh cool its just right there! but Ill still teleport in the front. I park and I don’t even get out of my car, I just hug my backpack and teleport in front of the gates. I start walking toward the gates and try to not smile like an idiot but I start to notice all the looks and stares. And I think oh they just don’t recongize me because I look foreign or didn’t see me at the entrance exams. As a enter the 1st year doors I hear

‘yo you see that guy? he looks as pretty as a girl! Guess his favorite color is baby pink? Are they wearing eyeliner? I wonder how long is his hair? That bun is tastful, no homo tho!’

I FORGOT THAT PANTS ARE THE BOY’S UNIFORM AND MY SKIRTS ARE STILL BEING TAILORED! I socially already fucked up, guess I won’t be making friends anytime soon. But I guess I’m glad they think I’m a pretty girl in the boy’s uniform? I walk up to the table at the furthest hall on the right that says International Student Check In thats me. I get greeted by a man with a boombox looking thing on their neck, black pants and jacket, small triangle sunnies and yellow hair.

“HEEYYY welcome to UA!”

“oh thank you! I am Itati Palma, American student”

“okay lets see, palma palma paruma AH found you! OH YOURE THAT JAZZY SAX GIRL THAT TURNED HERO!”

oh jeez who put that on my record?! “hehehe yea thats me”

“coolio jazzy girl! Heres your schedule, pins and a note from Midnight”

“pins?”

“yeeeaahh! pins to put on your uniform to let other students and staff where youre from and get to know you better!”

I open the small manila pouch into my hand and two pins fall into my palm, the American and Mexican flag. I look at them and tried not to cry, I missed my home and chill life in Cali.

“hey hey! your classes are on the 3 hall on the right, door all the way down.”

“oh right!” that snapped me out of my sentiment, “thank you again! Mr?”

“they call me Mic sensei”

“Mic? ok thanks!”

I walk quickly to my classroom, I get to the outside of the door and think welp, heres to 3 years of being called pretty boy and other dumb shit. I open the door and I see 9 desks and 5 people already there. Oh jeez, what a small class size but at least nobody is staring at me. I sit in the middle seat, though I prefer the front desk but they were already claimed! Guess classroom culture is different here too. In front of me was a boy to what I thought was a Japanese native until they turned and I caught a glimpse of their pin, they’re Korean! They noticed my pins too and had a confused look as they gave me a once over.

“You’re an...american? and mexican? You traveled quite a ways”

“um yeah hehe, I am Itati Palma by the way!”

“hmm, nice to meet you Palma-san, I’m Jin Matsui”

“nice to meet you too!”

Before I could ask them where in Korea are they from, the door slammed open. A tall and muscular white-blonde girl walked in, I tried so hard not to stare at them but they looked so tough and wondered if that’s part of their quirk. She sat behind me and Jin and I turned around to get a better look at them. I saw their pins, the Russian and Japanese flag, shes also a foreign student. She looked up with a death stare at me and Jin but then her eyes widened and she smiled.

“ah! fellow foreigners! Hello!” she spoke in a predominate Russian accent that matches so well with her image.

“um yeah! Hello, I’m Itati Palma”

“Hi, and I’m Jin Matsui”

“Palma-san and Matsui-san?Milana Mikhalia Oleshin, very nice to meet you!”

Oh my! A long and hard to pronounce name, I guess we aren’t at nickname or first name basis yet for everything to go smoother. I turn to my bag because I got a text, its my parents!

[Hola mija! Que bien que estas feliz hoy! Te amo y ponde bien en tus studias, dios te bendiga.]

Oh mom, you have no idea how bad I had it earlier. I look around and see everyone has nice, canvas school bags and I have my baby pink one with a puppy on it. And everyone had normal stationary and you can smell and see mine from across the hall. Oof, what I’d give to redo today. I look at my schedule and see that I have a short school day this semester.

Palma, Itati (F) (International) Intelligence Core Program [1-A]

Homeroom......9a-10am..........................................Intelligence Wing, room 1-A

Weaponery.......10:15am-11:50am.........................................Gym

Hero Course [Ethics and Laws].....12p-1:15p...........Hero Wing, room 1-A

Free Period.........2:50p-3:30p.......................................TBA

Intelligence Course[Statistics&Strategy]3:45p-4:40p..Intelligence Wing,room 3-A

Seems like a reasonable schedule, better than America. I didn’t know that Oleshin-san was peeking over my shoulder to read my schedule.

“YOURE THE GIRL THAT TESTED OUT OF GENERAL STUDIES?!”

I jumped in my seat “um yea?”

“I heard about you! The staff and school district are boasting that they got the potentially genius level international students. They said that theres 2 of them here at UA and they are jumping straight into course work! One has placed college level English and 3rd year Level Strategtic Thinking! And thats you!”

Jin turns around, looking bootytickled “erm, what? Let me see your schedule.”

He scans and compares it to his “well theres proof that you are one of those students, but then again, so am I”

I take a look at his, almost identical except they’re not taking the hero course, but second year english. What a weird turn of events that I’d be in the same class as other international students in the same school arrangments? I guess they’re my friends now.

A clean cut man in a blue jumpsuit with multiple patches on the arms opens the door. I just knew they were our teacher, it shows that he’s been through it all and has wisdom to bestow upon us.

“Hello, good morning students, if you could all take your seats so I can get things started”

Everyone fell into place and was attentive.

“Welcome to the Intelligence Program, You can call me Diya sensei, I’m a retired secret service of Japan better known as Agent 99 code name ‘Space Cowboy’”

I tried so hard not to laugh at that code name, I wondered why he was called that. Maybe his quirk?

“Now to take roll, say present when I say your name”

He finished roll and said “huh, 3 international students? I expect impeccable work from you three. I won’t slow down for you”

I somehow wasn’t scared of that statement. Before moving on to explaining the coursework and lessons, a lizard bolted from the window and to Diya sensei. He let out one of the most high pitched yelps and retreated to the corner. How can a man so sharp and decorated, be reduced to a crying mess over a lizard? Matsui-san captures the fast lizard and wraps it in his gym towel to take outside after homeroom. Sensei regains his composure and continues class like nothing happened. After homeroom, we all had weaponery but we didn’t get to use any gear or weapons yet. Instead we got measured for our jumpsuits and PE clothes plus got settled in the locker rooms. To my surprise it was co-ed locker rooms since it was a small class size and only 3 girls. Everyone was respectful of eachother’s bodies and privacy. Next I was supposed to go to the ethics class but in Midnight’s note, she said that I start that class on Wednesday so for the time being, I have to report to the staff room to meet with them. I go to the staff room and on the way I see a class doing drills with quirks outside, it looked fun and everyone looked so focused. I get to the staff room and Midnight hands me my tailored skirts and 3rd set of uniform. I also got to know the other teachers and staff including the principal, a big ass fuckin rat. I was about to punt that bitch when they opened the door if they didn’t start talking. Other than that, it was a nice time and then there was lunch. I walked in the cafeteria and saw the long ass lines and said ‘fuck that’, so I teleported to my car and ate my packed food in there. Next was my free period, Midnight said that it was alright for me to wander around campus so I can get to know the place better so I can teleport from class to class. I wander around without my bag, just my phone and schedule with school map folded in my pocket. I go to the hero wing to find the 1-A room, nobody was in there, maybe its gym time for them? I pass by a group of 3 upper classmen, A boy with black hair and pointy ears, a taller boy with lemon colored hair and a girl with long sky blue hair. They all looked at me as I passed by and I felt intimidated because they have a strong presence to them but I didn’t know why or how. I hid behind the corner and heard them talking about me,

“did you see that? I made accidental eye contact and I think I’m going to be sick”

“hmm, do you think thats the international student Mirio? They had an american flag pin”

“Maybe? Theres no description of them other than they’re American and a 1st year in the Intelligence program”

“wait, sceret service? I thought they saved their school from a gang by disabling the leader? Why are we interested in her again Mirio?”

“She’s a true hero Amajiki! We could learn alot from her and maybe change their mind to be a hero, like they were meant to be”

What the heck was that Lemon boy going off about? A hero? Change my mind? Learn from me? I turned the corner to tell them off but they were gone and I wasn’t about to go looking for them. I wander some more and the bell rings and a swarm of students come out of their classrooms, I couldn’t naviagate around and I think, guess Ill teleport, BUT THEN I COULDN’T! Like when I was acting up back home and my mom would use her erasure quirk on me to prevent me from escaping. But my mom couldn’t be here!? Then what the fuck is going on? Then a man’s voice from behind me spoke,

“are you lost young lady?”

I turn around and I’m shaking in fear before I even see this mystery man. I see him and he’s a tall, dark long haired with eye bags. I knew right away he was the one who erased my quirk, his eyes glowed the same way my mom did when she activated her quirk. Mom i thought and how much I missed her and I couldn’t hold back my tears this time. I cried in front of this man I just met. He arched his brow then gazed his eyes on my flag pins. He gasped and deactivated his quirk.

“oh no I’m sorry Miss! I didn’t mean to scare you to tears, are you alright?”

I stammered “um uhhhh -sniff- I’m, I’m ok! um I’ll just leave”

“no please, let me escort you to your next class, I feel terrible for making you cry. Especially on the 1st day”

I felt sort of better when he offered, I let him walk with me.

“you didn’t scare me, I cried because you and my mother have the same quirk and looking at your glowing eyes reminded me of her and how much I miss her”

“oh! same quirk you say? Were you a trouble maker?”

“nah, I would try to teleport away when it was time to do housework when I was younger and she’d disable my quirks so I couldn’t escape and HAD to do chores”

He laughed “what a woman! Say, your not from around here huh?”

“nope, I’m from America with hispanic roots”

“OH! you’re an ethnic American! That’s why you have two flags.”

“yup, I got here about a week ago and settled about 3 days ago”

“yeah, Midnight told me about you. You’re a very unique indivdual, how are your classes so far?”

“nothing interesting yet”

“well hopefully things pickup soon, oh i think this is your wing”

“um oh yea it is, thank you for walking me over, Mr?”

“Mr Aizawa, or better known as Eraserhead”

“Eraserhead? um ok thanks again!”

“no problem, see you wednesday”

“wednesday?”

“yea, I’m the Hero Course ethics teacher. See you then!”

Then this man deadass walks away after dropping that bomb on me? What a legend, can’t wait to sit in his class. My last class was more up my alley and the upperclassmen were so nice that I didn’t feel any different from them. I walked to my car to reflect on all the shit that happened today and what I am going to do to make school bearable. The drive to my place was pleasant but I saw a bunch of students walking together like they just became friends and wanted to spend more time together. I felt a little lonely when I got home, I remembered when I was in america and I would talk to my friends after school and how they’d wait for me after band practice to hang out. I took off my uniform and hanged up my new ones and had one really good cry. I haven’t cried that hard in months and it was much needed for my mental health. I washed up and ate and tried to just forget all the dumb shit of the day when I laid down to sleep.

-fast foward to Wednesday-

“hey Palma-san! did you do the online homework for stats and strats?”

“yee, did you?” I said knowing damn well what Matsui-san was going to say.

“psh! course I did, I was just making sure you did it so you might have something to do during free period”

“HEY! T-posing through the halls IS a viable thing to do! I was studying where everthing is on campus for future use”

“IS NOT WHEN YOU LEVITATE AND SCREECH IN THE BOYS BATHROOM WHILE I’M IN THERE!”

Before I could retort back, Oleshin-san butted in,

“aye Palma-san, you excited for your hero course class?”

“oof yee, the teacher is kinda hot”

“I SAW and I’m jealous! You have to tell me if the boys in that class are hot too!”

“ugh, don’t you two have better things to talk about than butts and boys?”

“I’m so excited tho! To meet anybody thats outside our program and learning new things?! I just hope they like me, I even made them cookies”

“Palma-san nani the heck!? I want a cookie”

“You guys can get a cookie during lunch if theres any leftovers”

I quickly change after weapons class and bolt to the hero wing. I walk down the hall and I’m really feeling nervous! I look at my coffee tumbler and felt calmer as I took a sip. Ok Ita, you can do this, no chickening out now I psych myself up as I stand in front of the door. I open the door, expecting everyone to be strewn about and talking...nope. I walk in and everyone is in their seats and sensei was standing up in the front and I disrupted them. Everyone was staring and I instantly get flushed and I check to make sure I was in the right classroom and said,

“did I fuck up?”

“no actually I was just talking about you, perfect timing!” said Aizawa with a smile. “why don’t you come up and introduce yourself?”

“um ok” I said as I scanned the room. I got up to the front, chugged down my coffee for dominance, did a quick spin for drama and put on my ‘I swear I slept a normal amount of sleep last night’ face.

“Hi hello~ My name is Itati Palma and I’m from America! The reason I don’t look like one is because my ethnic background is hispanic, or in other words, both of my parents are from Mexico but I was born in America. My quirk isn’t the strongest or the most useful BUT I can be of better help in other parts of combat, so please, we don’t have to be friends but lets all work hard together” I bow respectfully and turn to sensei.

“nice speech kid, you can take the seat on the third row”

“um ok thanks”

As I’m walking toward my seat, sensei walks out saying he’ll be right back with more handouts. I sit and I feel all eyes on me, giving me the once over. The person in front of me has a bird head but normal human body from the neck down, the person behind me has half their face covered with multiple limbs and the person on my left has red spiky hair and was staring REALLY hard at me. I almost didn’t want to look at them until sensei came back, I just sat there blushing really hard.

“Kirishima! stop staring at her! Can’t you see you’re making her uncomfortable?!” said the boy with glasses making chopping motions.

“Oh sorry! Its just that I’ve never seen curly hair of that type in person, you have really nice hair and your backpack is cute”

“um thank you, I feel sorta out of place with it tho, everyone else has normal bags”

“tch, makes you look like a little girl” muttered the boy with the blonde hair.

“Kacchan thats so rude! I think their choice of bag is cute and different in a good way” said some broccoil looking ass.

“well um, not to change the subject, but I made you guys cookies! I got up extra early to bake them”

“Cookies?! oh how sweet of you!” joked the pink girl.

“Oh here, let me help you with that” said the boy with glasses as he stood up.

“oh no I got this” I take out a package of colorful napkins and the box of cookies and I toss the napkins up and activate my quirk to pass out the napkins. Then I opened the box and gave everyone a cookie and gave sensei 3.

“so cool! you passed out the treat without getting up!” squealed what I assume to be the invisible girl.

“THESE COOKIES ARE SOOO YUMMY TOO!” proclaimed the boy with a black streak in their yellow hair.

Everyone was in a better mood and I got compliments for my cookies, I was in my happy place. After class, as I was packing my bag, the boy with the glasses came up to my desk

“thank you for the cookie, Palma-san, you really know how to bring a crowd together”

“oh thank you, uhhhhh”

“hm? OH my name is Tenya Iida, sorry I forgot to introduce myself earlier”

“Iida-san? oh its alright, its nice to meet you”

“I haven’t seen you around halls, sensei tells us your in a different program? Is it true?”

“Yes its true, also the school is kinda big and I can be easy to miss in a crowd because I’m so short”

“I see, well its lunch time! May I walk you to the lunch room?”

“oh thank you but I usually eat in the parking lot” I soon regreted my words because this square faced, glasses wearing ass gasped and grabbed me by the wrist followed by dragging me down the hall.

“You’ve been by yourself during such social time?! Now I have a better reason to bring you to the lunch group!”

“eating by yourself isn’t a huge deal” I say but looking back, thats all I’ve been doing.

“A true hero never lets a fellow classmate eat alone!”

I get aggitated and retort “well what if they want to be alone!” as I teleport out of his grip and 3 feet behind him. He sees the whole thing and stopped on the dime, he was shocked.

“you, you used your quirk to escape my grip? What is your quirk exactly?”

“Heck, um its Mid-range Telekinesis, I can levitate, levitate others and objects and teleport about 2 miles at a time.”

“thats incredible power! what do you mean your quirk isn’t strong or useful?! You’re gifted in so many ways!”

I wasn’t having fun anymore, he wasn’t letting me talk or left me alone when I said I wanted to.

“please stop”

“hmm? stop what”

“stop, talking about my quirk like I’m some sort of show horse”

“Show horse? no no no! I didn’t mean to-”

“STOP!” I didn’t want to hear it, I just wanted to hide. Tears were welling up in my eyes.

“what is going on here? Tenya, what are doing to that poor girl?” it was Midnight. “oh no, are you ok Itati?” and I start to cry when she made eye contact with me.

“its ok, you’re ok! please don’t feel sad” she comforted me as she held me, “why don’t you go to lunch Tenya, I’ll take care of things here”

“but I- I mean-”

“please, she’s been through too much already”

He walked away, looking back every few steps. Midnight escorted me to the staff room so I can calm down a bit and talk about what happened.

“You want to talk about it?” she asked me softly.

“yea, the school culture is too much for me”

“how so? Are you not making friends? Are the classes too hard?”

“its mostly the students outside of my program, they’re too into their hero agenda to be the best that they aren’t considering other’s personal feelings or perfernces”

I then tell her about the 3 upper classmen that talked about me and what Iida told me as they dragged me down the hall.

“oh I see now, it almost feels like you’re being targeted and pressured.”

“yeah, I want to learn about this hero culture more but this is too much at once. It’s strange because back home, I was so used to be part of the crowd and stand out when I wanted to. And here it feels like I breathe a little too loud and I’m suddenly getting looks”

“ok, I’m glad you aren’t giving up. But if they start getting physical and racist, please let any of the staff know.”

“alright, Thank you Midnight! I don’t know what I’d do without you”

I go about my day and tell Matsui and Oleshin what happened after school. They weren’t too keen about it,

“That glasses wearing asshole!”

“yea not good on a future hero if you tell me”

“We got your back Palma-san”

“YEAH! we international students have to stick together, its scary being alone”

“yea Matusi-san is right. If any of those hero asses try any of us, I’ll flex on them and toss them in the trash!” Oleshin-san said as she flexed her strong arms.

“And I can portal us to safety or anywhere really” Matsui-san said as he jumped.

“oh guys! I’m gonna cry again!” I said because I was so touched by their words.

“and I’ll T-pose, screech and rise on them. Maybe levitate them in the trash too”

We all laugh as we flex and T-pose together in the school parking lot. They walked me to my car. We were about to part ways to head home when I said

“hey, um you guys can call me Ita, if you want”

“Ita? then you can call me Jin”

“oh we doing short hand! then you can call me Mimi”

“Jin and Mimi huh? ok! see you guys tomorrow”

“bye!”

“until tomorrow”

As I drove home, I thought Holy shit I just made friends.

-End Chapter 1-

#bnha #mha #self insert au #chapter 1 #not canon #will update regularly #ask me anything

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rvinsounds · 6 years

Text

-- only one in which someone shows up at jess’ cafe and saebom is jealous

a/n: i said i had an idea for crack and this is it LOLOL but i’m writing it in group chat form, like in facebook messenger or smth but probably some wizarding app :D i’m copying the format from a fic bc lazy + effort = no

- GROUP CHAT: ‘LOSERS’ [8 MEMBERS] -

[19:47] ‘jess’ has entered the group chat

jess: GUYS

jess: G U Y S

jess: G

jess: U

jess: Y

jess: S

[19:50]

jess: no guys seriously i have some crazy news like legit crazy news what the fuck why i no one fucking here i’m ignoring my cafe for this

jess: G U Y S

jess: don’t make me start calling people

[19:51] ‘ara’ has entered the group chat

ara: i’m here!

jess: i don’t wanna have to repeat myseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelf

[19:52] ‘megan’ has entered the group chat

[19:52] ‘sina’ has entered the group chat

megan: please calm down

sina: what happened?

jess: pls hold and stay in the chat as i go make a latte for a customer and wait for at least nadine and saebom to show up bc they need to know

[19:53] ‘saebom’ has entered the group chat

saebom: here!

[19:55] ‘nadine’ has entered the group chat

nadine: minseok told me i needed to be here

nadine: he’s watching telly

nadine: and yelling at it, idky he likes muggle sports so much, honestly

jess: is everyone here

ara: yes? i’m with chanuk

ara: actually he’s eating, but i’ll tell him if anything important happens

jess: okay nadine is with minseok it’s fine

jess: OH MY GOD YOU GUYS WILL NEVER GUESS WHO JUST CAME IN AND ORDERED A ROUND OF COFFEES

jess: HOLY SHIT

jess: HOLY

megan: was it hongbin

jess: SHIT

nadine: WAIT IT WAS HONGBIN?

nadine: WHAT

nadine: WHAT IS HE DOING IN LONDON

megan: wait what

ara: guys

jess: what

megan: i was joking

jess: well

jess: no i fucking wish it was hongbin

jess: i would ask him to marry me on the spot

saebom: :<

jess: shut up

jess: you know i love him more :D

jess: anyways

jess: no

jess: it wasn’t hongbin

jess: i would rather it have been hongbin

jess: i need to go to his next concert tho fr

jess: think i could close the cafe for a week and go or

ara: probably! if you think it’s worth it

jess: everything is worth it for hongbin

jess: saebom let’s go watch the concert

megan: okay but who did you see?

jess: right

jess: so imagine this

nadine: why can’t you tell us like a normal person gdi

jess: i’m just behind the counter, it’s p chill rn so i have a book out and i’m just reading it, making sure all the customers are okay and stuff, and i have a latte with me and it’s all fine and dandy when the door opens and

jess: FUCKING

jess: HARRY

jess: FUCKING

saebom: WHAT

jess: POTTER

saebom: REALLY

jess: WALKS IN???????????

saebom: NO WAY

megan: oh my god really

nadine: YOOOOOOOOOO

saebom: MERLIN

jess: SODDING HARRY POTTER

jess: man he’s p attractive for someone so old tho

jess: i can see why bom likes him

saebom: um, he’s the saviour of the wizarding world, what other reason do i need?

nadine: don’t you own like half of the collectibles they’ve released of him

nadine: saebom loves harry potter

[20:15] ‘nadine’ changed group chat name from ‘losers’ to ‘oh saebom: harry potter fanboy extraordinaire’

saebom: HEY

sina: i can’t believe he wanted harry potter and settled for jess

saebom: they were LIMITED EDITION

jess: DO U WANNA GO

jess: WHAT DO YOU MEAN SETTLED

saebom: jess is better

jess: SINA LET’S TAKE THIS OUTSIDE

jess: 1V1 ME RN

sina: no it’s kinda cold outside

jess: i’m gonna murder you in your sleep

nadine: saebom get out

jess: yeah saebom get out

megan: hey pls stop trying to murder my husband

saebom: WHY ARE YOU BEING MEAN TO ME I WAS BEING NICE

jess: he deserves it

jess: bc ur gross

saebom: :<

ara: guys

ara: please stop fighting

ara: jess please finish your story

jess: oh right

saebom: :<

jess: STOP WITH YOUR SAD FACES

[20:23] ‘jess’ changed the group chat name from ‘oh saebom: harry potter fanboy extraordinaire’ to ‘sina and saebom suck’

jess: anyways

sina: i’ll catch up after

sina: a student just came with a question

sina: megan will update me!

[20:26] ‘sina’ has left the chatroom

jess: he came in and i had to act natural and shit as if it wasn’t obvious i knew who he was the moment he walked in or anything

jess: i’m going to fight him for real i swear

jess: and he ordered four cafe lattes

jess: two flat whites

megan: pls stop fighting my husband

jess: a caramel macchiato

jess: three americanos

jess: no i refuse to stop fighting sina

jess: and he bought four different danishes and six muffins

jess: must be some auror meeting or something

jess: BUT HE CAME TO MY CAFE FOR IT

jess: AND IT WAS ONLY HIM?

jess: WHY IS HE OUT BUYING COFFEES LIKE SOME INTERN???????????

nadine: i think they usually takes turns

nadine: it must’ve been his turn and you were his pick

ara: that’s so cool!

jess: I MEAN???????????????

jess: but you know what was

jess: FUCKING WEIRD

jess: he said he had wanted to try my cafe for ages now???????

megan: i think saebom is going to die of jealousy

jess: i’m going to DIE

jess: IN GENERAL

jess: also saebom i got you an autograph

jess: it even says “to saebom”

saebom: WHAT

[20:30] ‘nadine’ changed ‘saebom’s display name to ‘harry potter’s #1 fan’

harry potter’s #1 fan: HEY

megan: she’s not wrong

[20:31] ‘harry potter’s #1 fan’ changed their display name to ‘saebom’

[20:31] ‘nadine’ changed the group chat name from ‘sina and saebom suck’ to ‘saebom luuurves harry potter almost as much as he luuuuuuurves jess’

jess: ew what the fuck

[20:32] ‘jess’ changed the group chat name from ‘saebom luuurves harry potter almost as much as he luuuuuuurves jess’ to ‘you guys all suck besides ara’

ara: you guys are so weird

ara: i’m gonna go finish having dinner with chanuk before he eats everything

ara: talk to you guys later

[20:33] ‘ara’ has left the chatroom

[20:33] ‘megan’ changed the group chat name from ‘you guys all suck besides ara’ to ‘guys please’

megan: i’m also going to go

megan: this school won’t run itself

megan: nadine we’re still on for lunch tomorrow?

jess: HEY

megan: and jess? i’ll message ara later

nadine: yeah

jess: ya

megan: bye bommie

saebom: bye nuna

[20:35] ‘megan’ has left the chatroom

nadine: guess i’ll go too

nadine: minseok finally stopped yelling at the telly

nadine: gonna see if he wants to have ice cream

jess: why wouldn’t he want ice cream though

[20:36] ‘jess’ changed the name of the group chat from ‘guys please’ to ‘ice cream appreciation crew even though megan is lactose intolerant’

nadine: right?

[20:37] ‘nadine’ has left the chatroom

jess: okay

jess: are you picking me up?

saebom: ofc i am

jess: okay

jess: some customers just came in

jess: i’ll see you soon!

saebom: okay

saebom: i’ll head out now

saebom: see you in 5?

jess: i’ll make you a coffee

[20:42] ‘jess’ changed the name of the group chat from ‘ice cream appreciation crew even though megan is lactose intolerant’ to ‘saebom is aight’

jess: let’s buy ice cream tonight

saebom: why are you like this

jess: you love me

jess: ♡

[20:45] ‘jess’ has left the chatroom

saebom: that i do

[20:46] ‘saebom’ has left the chatroom

#!drabble #!wc:1214 #what the fuck how did this shit also surpass 1k words #what the fuck is wrong with me why can't i ever write anything short #it also looks long as fuck bc of the formtting but this is just how group chats work #tbh #anyways it was like 1257 or something before i removed counting the timestamps #but i didnt remove the words from the timestamps if that makes sense #anyways #yes #this #happened #LOLOLOL

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catamight · 7 years

Text

Tag Game!

Tagged by @ rubynovare - First tagging experience, because I is hermit.

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people.

LAST…

Drink: UM. ...Oolong ‘Mousse’ Bubble Tea?? Hard to describe; amazing to taste.

Phone call: My folks

Text message: My SO

Song you listened to: Mystery - Indigo Girls

Time you cried: Honestly, I started crying in an argument when I couldn’t find the words to explain my frustration. Trying to make someone understand that people should care about each other, but with facts? Hard times.

HAVE YOU…

Dated someone twice: Nope!

Kissed someone and regretted it: As of this moment, nope.

Been cheated on: Nooooooope.

Lost someone special: Yes. No thestrals for me though, so for that I’m thankful.

Been depressed: I’ve ... Unsure. Nothing clinical. I’ve had bad periods, but I don’t count that as ‘real’ depression I guess. It’s hardly anything like many of my friends have experienced. I HAVE BEEN SAD?? It’s not depression though.

Gotten drunk and thrown up: Ayup. Though I don’t have hangovers. I just go straight from drunk to hugging a toilet while still drunk but also sick.

Made new friends: YEAH?? WHICH IS ALWAYS COOL.

Fallen out of love: Nope.

Laughed until you cried: A few times actually. :D

Found out someone was talking about you: Yep! Never pleasant, but when I found out why they were snide about me, it’s almost always about something so dumb I can’t even get mad.

Met someone who changed you: Everyone I ever meet changes me. Not being deep; I’m pretty literal about that. o 3 o

Found out who your friends are: Usually - but never to 100%. Frankly I find that normal; people should always be able to surprise you (hopefully in a good way, but really it just means you shouldn’t underestimate anyone).

Kissed someone from your Facebook list: Just one. ;3

Kissed a stranger: Nah bro. Been tempted once.

Drank hard liquor: hahahahahAHHAHAHA yeah I have.

Lost glasses/contact lenses: Contact lenses. ONCE. Never. Again.

Turned someone down: Mmnnnnnnooo I suffer from perpetual obliviousness in regards to flirting/attraction from other people. I really apologize to people about that. is2g it’s not cold shoulder, it’s just disbelief.

Sex on the first date: Nuh brah.

Broken someone’s heart: ....unsure. Probably not?

Had your heart broken: I feel like I’m more prepared to break hearts than have mine broken. If there’s any breaking going on, I’m usually aware of a problem before it gets to the hard part of talking it out.

Been arrested: Thank god no.

Cried when someone died: Yes. For brief, powerful sessions around no one else.

Fallen for a friend: nnnnn....nope. Not yet.

Kissed on the first date: Third date. ...No. Fourth date. XD I’m not that adventurous and would rather get to know a person first.

GENERAL

List 3 favorite colors: um. gonna go with fav color combos --> mint green/pink; black/blood red; purple/light blue

How many Facebook friends do you know in real life: Pretty much all of them!

Do you have any pets: Nope! Allergic to cats and I can’t afford time/money/renovations to properly house the dog I really want. But I play with other people’s pets all the time. :3

Do you want to change your name: I frikken lOVE my name. It’s a Dune reference and shows off my deep nerd heritage. I wouldn’t change it for the world.

What time did you wake up: 7:30am exactly. I can no longer sleep late. Unless I was up to like 5am or something ridiculous.

What were you watching at midnight last night: Rick & Morty!

Name something you can’t wait for: ....PAX??? Probably??? I mean. I never like waiting for my favorite events; but I’ll wait forever to buy a favorite game. I’m so lost as to how to answer this one. XD

When was the last time you saw your mom: This last thursday!

What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: Banish my procrastination whenever I feel like it.

What are you listening to right now: The dulcet tones of the Game Grumps playing Sonic Boom. Boy that game is broken.

Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: I know two people with a name that could have Tom as a nickname, but neither go by that. So no?

Something that is getting on your nerves right now: Nothing.

Most visited website: Archive of Our Own, Tumblr,

Mole/s: Total of three.

Mark/s: Chicken pox scar on my tummi; birthmark on my upper right arm; faintest of dark tint to my left forearm from when I tipped boiling water onto myself as a babby (mom spent hours scrubbing dead skin off of burned skin and she said I didn’t scream once, for which I’m impressed NOW because I’m pretty sure these days I’d be a huge painful mess)

Childhood dream: President

Do you have a crush on someone: ....does my SO count???

What do you like about yourself: I appreciate my empathy.

Piercings: One ear!

Blood type: O+

Nickname: Pi (by a bunch of kids I was teaching over the course of several summers); otherwise my name’s short enough there’s no need for a nickname.

Relationship status: *gestures to various mentions to an SO throughout this quiz* = w =;/

Zodiac: Western Zodiac—Pisces, Chinese Zodiac—Earth Dragon

Pronouns: She/her/herself

Favorite TV show: Brooklyn 99/Hannibal (I’m so over the map)/Yuri!!! on Ice/BNHA

Tattoos: Skin is clear. I want a white tattoo someday tho.

Right or left hand: Right handed

Surgery: Oral surgery for my wisdom teeth, and for getting ear tubs put in when I was a little (constant ear infections suuuuuck)

Hair dyed in different color: It’s dyed THREE different colors guys. I’m a damn aurora and I love it :DDD

Sport: Kayaking or Rowing/Skiing/Tennis/Boating(???)/Hiking/Swimming!

Vacation: Last one I took was to Canada!

Pair of trainers: ...British trainers, or ... or people trainers..??

Current and all-time best friend name: YES. ALSO NO NAME FOR U INTERNET.

Eye color: Black/Brown (really frikken dark)

Favorite movie: ....uh. oh god. UM. OH NO. DDD: I CAN’T CHOOSE. I will say that you all should watch The Fall, Jacob’s Ladder, The Mummy, Deadpool, Lake Mungo, Silence of the Lambs, Sauna, Emperor’s New Groove, Last Action Hero, and any Miyazaki film every made. Seeing as this is Tumblr, I’m probably just preaching to the choir.

WHICH IS BETTER?

Hugs or kisses: Kisses are nice but hugs are BETTER

Lips or eyes: Eyes. <333

Shorter or taller: I like both for different reasons

Nice arms or stomach: ....n/a?? Mostly because my eyes are more focused on faces and hair and overall stature.

Sensitive or loud: Sensitive

Hook up or relationship: Relationship; I like to build that shit.

Troublemaker or hesitant: Hesitant (though I have been tempted)

DO YOU BELIEVE IN…

Yourself: More than I used to, less than I hope.

Miracles: Kinda. I like karma a lot. It eases a lot of pain to know that shit always comes back to bite bad behavior in the end (even if it takes a while)

Love at first sight: Nooooooooooope.

Santa Claus: Lawl, when I was a kid I knew my parents got me stuff, not Santa, but I always liked the idea of a guy who took the time to give kids gifts all over the world. I’m an optimist like that.

Tagging: ...@solosvejs @mattheal @kimthreerings (because I don’t know enough people on here very well so it’s just kind of a crapshoot you guys don’t have to okay? okay thanks bye *falls into a ditch*)

#tagging game #tagged #i'm bad at socializing online #i'm sorry

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