#i was accused of being groomed into being enby

[unbotheredgoose]

so, i've been thinking

as someone that was socialized like a woman and spent the first 12 years of their life living as a woman, i really wonder where the transphobic notion of "real women have vaginas" comes from.

because, of course I know they hate us, but even when I actively identified as a woman and lived as one I didn't want to be seen as a walking vagina. I wanted to be seen as me.

I was sexually assaulted plenty of times because people saw me as a walking hole. by boyfriends and strangers both. why would I want to be seen as a walking vagina?

why would I want women to be seen as walking vaginas? they're people, before it all.

and maybe, if transphobes really think that notion is crazy, I'd rather stay crazy, thank you very much.

#transgender #sorry guys just having feelings today #im tired of this okay #for context tho #i was accused of being groomed into being enby #which is total bs #i had literally 0 (zero) lgbt adults in my life to convince me that i was trans #lgbt #if u know me u know that one day i just told my friends to call me jupiter and not call me a girl anymore #i didnt even know what being trans was

[just-antithings]

I was talking to a friend about the post where a person said young queers should befriend older ones and how a lot of people, antis majorly, misconstructed the post to mean “young” = “minor” = “this person advocates for grooming/pedophilia and all the older gays would call me slurs”

What they said was actually really insightful and a sad reflection of queer youth (on social media anyway)

“Many young people, often even black people or poc, proudly adopt right wing ideals. They’re an easy target, and if the right can make marginalized people fight each other rather than them, then they have an easy and free path to slowly take away their rights. And when those affected notice, its often too late.

That’s why so many people purposefully misconstructed the post about befriending older queers. They’d rather dehumanize elder queers and accuse them of being pedophiles because they've been indoctrinated that queerness is for the young only they don’t believe they'll be the same freaky gay when they reach adulthood eventually because they also don't think they age at all”

And I think this part of where they refuse to acknowledge that they’re going to be like every other adult and they’re still likely going to be queer and going to exist over the age of 25 and that they (sometimes knowingly) repeat right wing rhetoric and cause infighting is true.

I have seen antis say they could “reclaim” radfem rhetoric or repeat dogwhistles like “actual lesbian” or use the gender binary descriptors non man/woman on enbies or describe non-binary genders as men/women lite and “you can’t be attracted to men/men aligned enbies as a lesbian” and “lesbians don’t like men (but “men” here means trans women) and “not all men but 99% of men are bad/oppressors/evil/porn addicts” and “trans men = cis men”

Sometimes I wonder how they pretend to not see the obvious anti queer/trans rhetoric they follow, even if you see TERFs liking their hot takes or compare those takes to what radfems spew and how similar it sounds or how often it’s even the same but then I remember that high control groups act very similar to cults in that they indoctrinate anyone to follow one “truth” only, reject anything that goes against it, shame people and instill fear so that they’ll never go against hard set rules

And that’s terrifying

.

#mod erin #ask #posted without comment #just anti things #cult mention #grooming mention #pedophillia mention

[titus-androgynous-87]

So the neighbor kid rang my doorbell at like 7pm yesterday, and would not leave until I, specifically, came to the door

I assumed she wanted to ask to play with the dog, and I was going to tell her no. Because kid, I’m not gonna police the way you’re being parented, but in my house? Past 6pm it’s “please dear god let me be” hours. But she handed me this painting instead, and said it was for my birthday. The paint was still wet when she gave it to me, and she told me she was too impatient to wait until my actual birthday

I am unironically in love with this. For a lot of reasons. One being that it’s a very sweet gesture from a kid I was fully convinced only saw me as an inconvenient roadblock to playtime with our dog (because I set very firm boundaries with these kids about when and how we can interact. Because that’s all I fucking need is the transphobic Statler & Waldorf neighbors to accuse me and my wife of grooming kids. And I also just don’t want to interact with children in any setting without their parents or caregivers within arm’s reach)

But why I really love it is that as a rapidly-approaching-middle-age butch non-binary he-him lesbian, it’s the first interaction I’ve had with a kid where I’ve been on the other side of a ring-of-keys moment

It’s a bit surreal, and a very…humbling, I suppose, experience. I’m not sure that’s the right word I want, but we’ll go with it. It’s like this “oh shit, this kid SEES me” feeling. And I suppose it feels so strange to me because I didn’t think I’d make it to 16, let alone 36, and I’d never met someone like me growing up. Butch, sure. Blue collar 100-footers named things like Denise or Gerry, and wore Red Wing work boots they resoled themselves. Had nicknames like Sledge or for some ungodly reason Pile Driver (though I’m pretty sure PD gave herself that nickname. Sledge was cool as fuck though. Made great lemonade and was one of the funniest people I’d ever met. And I’m very sad she’s gone) And the elusive Tackle Box, which is a story for another post.

But I never met another he/they, another enby/trans person, another butch who (try as he might) wasn’t hard as nails and ready to fight a man for breathing in their direction.

And to witness a kid look at you and see themselves in real-time…it’s not a bad feeling at all. It’s just an odd one I can’t quite explain. But I’m very glad that there’s at least one kid I can help figure out that, hey someone else is like me

#it’s been a rough week #and it’s only Tuesday #so this was a very much needed Nice Thing That Happened #her step dad is a cop #but we haven’t had any issues with them…yet anyway #their mom is super nice #and their grandma is a sweetheart #lesbian #butch #nonbinary #nonbinary lesbian #happy goblin