#i want to ramble to my therapist

[just-editor]

MY THERAPY APPOINTMENTIS NEXT WEEK PLEASE I NEED TO GOSSIP ABOUT HOW SHITTY MY FAMILY IS PLEASE PLEASE WHY CAN'T IT BE TOMORROW PLEASE

#therapy #please #i want to ramble to my therapist #please please please #i need to be sitting in a little chair going on a little rant while a lady takes little notes #i'm going insane #please i'm begging

[venturelovebot]

It really isn't fair I wasn't born in the Overwatch universe to be Venture's girlfriend and eternally bound soulmate

#rambles #real people just don't compare #i don't want a real person #i need sloan cameron :( #manifesting they become real and we become eternally bound soulmates for real #thank you universe #maybe it's time to see my therapist again

[halfcarrotikemen]

So I finally found a way to watch tristamp in English dub (I only ever watched the series in Japanese). I haven’t done any deeper thoughts and analysis, and I’m only halfway through the series but here’s my impression so far:

- I love English dub Vash, especially his gibberish noises, such a chaotic dumbass (affectionate), and although some of his jokes and mannerism didn’t translate as well as I hoped, they did a very good job. They deserved two dozen donuts. (although if you hold me at gunpoint and ask me to choose English or Japanese Vash I will choose the Japanese version with a thin margin because I have personal bias towards Matsuoka Yoshitsugu [he’s from where I live lol, and I’m a big fan])

- I’m also in love with how they play Legato and Roberto, especially Legato, I was surprised by the lack of the feeling out of place (Is that the right word? sorry my brain suddenly stopped working in English) that you usually have when you hear a show dubbed in another language you’re not used to hearing. So smooth. And they nailed the drunkle speech with Roberto.

- I honestly was disappointed with the lack of accent in Wolfwood’s speech (maybe I just didn’t hear it correctly? Idk) because he speaks in heavy Kansai dialect in Japanese, even when he was a child (also casting Hosoya Yoshimasa really emphasized the accent). A huge missed opportunity on the English dub, in my opinion. I was expecting Wolfwood with a heavy Southern accent or something. And on that note they also missed the chance to add some dialect for the worm hunters on episode 4.

- English dub Meryl feels mature and a lot more pulled together to me compared to the Japanese version, which sounds very pristine and innocent until she starts learning about the world. It makes her a little… out of place for me who’s used to Meryl speaking in a very polite formal Japanese to everyone (even when she’s yelling in rage or when she’s cursing people). I think it suits Meryl from ‘98 anime more than tristamp Meryl. Probably because you can’t really translate her distinct way of speaking accurately, it’s not anyone’s fault, just a matter of different language. But I guess I like the Japanese version better for Meryl. I just love the way she speaks, shame there’s no English equivalent to her speech style.

- I don’t like English dub Nai. I’m 100% going with the Japanese version in this. Not the performance, though, I know translations are really hard and I do think the English VA did a great job, but as someone who’s used to how Nai speak in Japanese, the dub just… didn’t feel right. In Japanese Nai speaks in a relatively rougher manner compared to Vash (in how he chooses his words, also the subtle but different way he talks to humans and to Vash) and it didn’t show as much in the English dub. And his pretentious speech that sounds like some people from the church near my house doesn’t get carried to the English dub, I guess. In English he just sounds like a scary villain to me, while in Japanese I can feel his emotions and (warped) love towards Vash just from his words. I saw someone pointing out that Nai refers to the dependent plants with feminine pronouns, and it’s even more prominent and emphasized in the Japanese version. They’re not wrong. Maybe in English it can come across as a bit misogynistic(?), I don’t know, but I like how he does this in Japanese, because to me it feels like he’s always trying to refer to them as “persons” and not “things”, although his treatment towards them is contradictory.

This ended up longer than I expected but overall I enjoyed the English dub and I love analyzing different languages. I wanna know how it feels for people who know absolutely zero Japanese watching the series in English dub and in Japanese with English subtitles. I know that there were differences in the subtitles and the dub but for me I can’t compare English sub and dub because I’d just go with my Japanese interpretation if I watch the subbed version (or I’d rather just ditch the subtitle altogether because sometimes it’s making my brain confused when I speak both languages).

Also to people who write Trigun fanfics in English, where do you base the character speech from? I don’t know how to translate Japanese dialects, so Wolfwood, for example, is very difficult for me to write in English.

#trigun #trigun stampede #my ramblings #I am not very good at articulating #and my thoughts are always branching everywhere #anyway I want to write a fanfic but I have no idea how to write the characters speech #I only know the Japanese version of all trigun media #and I don’t like reading comic/manga so I’m kinda reluctant to re-read the manga in English #I read Wolfwood’s lines in Hosoya-san’s voice even in English fanfics #unrelated note #I’ve been trying to convince my therapist to watch trigun lmao #she said she’s gonna watch it today

[galactikburzt]

Wheatley doodles i made at therapy

So joyous,,,

#portal #portal 2 #wheatley #i wanted to explain portal lore to my therapist but i was unable to </3 #which is sincerely suprising to me in a way because i have managed to explain kirby lore to my therapist in the past #graaahh i wanted to explain wheatley's character so badly but i would have to explain aperture science and cave johnson and glados and #the portal gun and literally everything else to get to that part </3 #i did show her some of his dialogue though (yeaahh woooo) #sorry for the rambling lmaoaoa

[iii-of-ender]

much love to anyone who is feeling upset rn <3 remember to take care of yourself and take as much (or as little!) time as you need <33

#i rambles #qsmp #thank you to the admins for everything #my inbox is open if anyone wants to just talk a little #(just please remember to be respectful and that i’m not a therapist :])

[sciderman]

i relate to peter parker because i’ve had six crushes this year alone

damn son save some for the rest of us!!

#sci speaks #i think i've only ever had one crush in my life. wilding. i wish i fell in love easier. it feels wonderful. #oh the people with hyperactive hearts... #i wish i had felt this way at some point when i was younger. it kind of felt like my heart wasn't fully developed yet. #holds my heart in my hands. why were you such a late bloomer. why didn't you feel more things earlier on. #i'm kind of sad that i didn't have teenage crushes or anything. i feel like i missed out. #is it because nobody around me was appealing. or is it because i was too busy on my own planet. #i think i wasn't really close with a lot of people when i was younger. i kind of never came out of my shell. #so nobody got close enough to me for me to like them. #not that it's necessarily how it works. but it takes a lot for me to get there with somebody i think. #i think a lot of the relationships i've been in i'm still To This Day not even sure if i actually liked them back in that way. #squeezes my heart in my hand. why are you so fussy. #i wish i had more experiences under my belt. i really do. but also i don't want to be in situations that are uncomfortable either. #and i don't want to just be there for the sake of it. #lies on the floor and stares at the ceiling. i don't know what i want. #is love the answer? #i don't know. sometimes i want it more than anything. but it's such a ball-ache to get. sometimes you think you're better off without it. #i wish i knew what i wanted. i think i just want to be brave enough to find out. #why do i ramble so much in my tags. it's like tumblr is my therapist or something. #i'm feeling weird about myself lately. just kind of a little tired. i don't feel bad. but kind of perpetually low-energy. #like i never have the time to do things that make me happy. and when i do get the time i don't have the energy. #is this what it's like to live in this world. i need like. a year's break from work. i think. #i need like a year-long vacation. i need a gap year. i need a year to live life. #i wonder if it's financially viable. i think i'd eat through everything i have if i did that. but. #you can get money back. you can't get your time back.

[electricpurrs]

for people whose job is dealing with mentally ill people therapists sure get very uncomfortable when you cry or express any negative thoughts or feelings or are suicidal or suggest you may have a mental illness

#im already fucking rambling its whatever #yesterday i had a therapy session and i started crying and my therapist just tried to make me stop as quickly as possible #then changed subject instead of letting me speak #then kicked me out cause of course sessions are never long enough #its always like this with every therapist ive ever talked to #it feels like they just want me to shut up #and are vaguely annoyed at me for being a bother by making them calm me down #as if i didnt start crying because they wanted me to talk about my life to begin with #and always just. instead of letting me vent my negative thoughts and then working on them or something it feels like they just #try to outright deny anything i say as if to shut me down #''i feel like im stupid'' ''no youre super smart!!!!'' i dont care if you think im smart you barely know me #why cant you just hear what i have to say #ehhhh

[orchidyoonkook]

Personal

Hi.

How did you get over your quarter life crisis?

Because I’m trying not to fall into the vast unyielding void. And I’m failing hilariously.

#TAG RANT. CAN IGNORE. YOON JUST NEEDS TO GET HER THOUGHTS OUT. #filler tag to push the rest of the rant down past the cut off point. #i literally don’t know what I’m going to do with my life and I can’t decide anything. #do I stay in flowers #do I leave flowers #do I try and get into film again #do I move to Europe #or delay that and go back to school for the one thing that’s always brought me pure happiness #or do I move out of my city #but in all of this I have to consider my partner and what he wants #but I don’t know what to do. i don’t know what the right thing for me is and I can’t afford a therapist so I ramble on the internet in hopes #of a shiny beacon of something rings into my head and figures everyhting out for me #like. I’ll be 25 in April. a ways off. but I’m 25 and I haven’t done anything. i don’t know what I’m supposed to do?? i had a life plan that #was derailed so hilariously hard by COVID that cannot be mended. and this is the first time I haven’t had a plan or a solid goal and so now #I’m floating in the middle of the pacific wondering which direction to turn in hopes of finding land #i have nothing to work towards and I miss who I was. i want to be that again. i wanna be her again. but it’s so difficult to do that. #anyway. rant over. needed to get that out. thanks for reading if you did. #this actually made me feel a lot better hope moly.

[delta-piscium]

they should invent an ability to sleep that isn’t limited edition

#all i want in life is to have an on/off button for sleeping and waking up #i am tired my eyes have been closed to so long yet i am awake #the silliest thing in the world yet it’s so devastating #a therapist telling me most people fall asleep within 15 minutes and i’m so sucpicous of that because i’ll lay so still with my eyes closed #for hours without sleeping wdym people fall asleep in 15 minutes??? #dels endless rambles

[snixx]

it's not that i don't believe in therapy it's that when i NEEDED it no one cared. so I figured it out myself. I know how to handle myself and my (increasingly infrequent) breakdowns and I understand myself and know I'll be okay no matter what and I self reflect and process my emotions and am very emotionally open and I'm so proud of the person I am every day. but I do have low days, and that's what pisses me off: I'm ALLOWED to be sad sometimes. it's a part of how my brain works, and the important thing is I know how to handle it effectively in a healthy way. and swooping in and forcing me to pay an insane amount to sit in an office when I DID ALL THAT WORK MYSELF is so aggravating. therapy has only ever made me feel worse. I'm a survivor, I've survived so much, and therapy is literally just a scapegoat for empathy for people these days. it relieves you of having to engage or care about other people. and LISTEN I'm not anti therapy by any means. as the Therapist Friend ™️ even when I'm mentally ill asf and when I was a literal kid myself I know that sometimes you can't do anything. professional help is necessary. it's the only way. but it doesn't!!! fucking!!! work for everyone!!! if someone isn't actively suicidal and trying to get better on their own and they don't WANT therapy because it doesn't WORK for them maybe don't be a condescending dick about it! therapy isn't a magical solution that makes everyone okay SOMETIMES people have external problems and are justified in feeling the way they do!!! therapy can be helpful yes but a lot of the time it is just a soulless void of practiced regulations for something that is not black or white because guess what everyone's different! and assuming the same thing works for everyone and that YOU know better than them (unless they're clearly obviously not doing well and are beyond helping themselves) is condescending as fuck!!!

#anti therapy #not really but i guess #anyway today my psychiat said i can quit therapy and that's finally someone my parents will listen to #good day #anyway therapy is really important and i think it's necessary to give it a sustained shot if you're in a position #where it either helps you or you don't have faith in yourself to get better #you need someone else an unbiased professional third party #you want a feedback loop and don't trust yourself #but it is NOT an all fit #i have friends who really didn't want to go to therapy and i kept pushing them even when it didn't work at first #and now they love it #but that's also because they NEEDED it #now it's just. oh you're sad i don't want you to be sad but i don't want to hear about your problems so go to a therapist #x am rambles #also therapy only works if you put in the work #you can't force people into it

[yelenadelova]

started playing spiritfarer as someone with a truly major level of death anxiety…hoping this is therapeutic for me

#spiritfarer #gaming #el rambles #i have wanted to play it for so long #but i have been so afraid bc of the concept #but i think it will be good for me to face my fear of death in a cozy way #i am prepared to cry #i truly told my therapist abt playinh it tho #i am a baby #el plays spiritfarer

[blackhillverse]

do i want to play black widow in the background while studying for my ukrainian grammar lecture, only to get mad halfway through because of how poorly this movie portrays slavic people or should i just study in silence.

#this movie is my roman empire #and i don’t mean it in a flattering way #the only thing this movie got right are the braids #thats it #if you want to make a movie with slavic characters and set in eastern europe at least do some basic research i BEEEEEEEED YOUUUUU #its been 3 years since this movie came out and i’m still FUUUUMING #i could write a whole ass essay why this movie sucks not only due to a poor portrayal of slavic ppl (nothing new here) #but how they handled natasha’s character #god #i made my therapist listen to my ramblings about THIS topic once and the poor woman had to sit for an hour and take notes on natasha #bonkers #anyways #i feel like i have already posted something very similiar but i do not careeeee #moira speaks #semi personal #natasha romanoff #marvel #black widow #mcu #marvel cinematic universe

[pup-pee]

y does it feel so SO wrong 2 share ur opinion???

#oh u solved the problem #urself! #like its not even about bing right or wrong its just about literally communicating & i think im doing it BAD #IM NOT AFRAID OF BING “H8ED” ON I JUST #i think i just dont like having the chance of making ppl feel bad? #or soemthing aloong those lines? #theres a line a vry easy line 2 cross #like expressing a comic book opinion right? bc its super easy 2 sway a bunch of ppl #but if ur saying smth u dont like it while some1 does it has the possibility of making that person feel bad #& I H8 THAT...idk y it makes me feel like shit????? @ the possibility??? #this feels like smth i should bring up w/a therapist LMAOOOOOOO #but like same thing when i was in class right? giving a presentation i got RLLY SCARED 2 do it bc i was giving an opinion or a fact BUT I #COULD B WRONG ON THE FACT!! which is y i just never did them bc i would cry lol but its just #it kinda feels the same way #its weird bc im fine w/getting shit wrong. its only when i share an opinion when i feel stupid??????? ok not stupid just mean? i think? yea #this is possibly the reason y i get nervous sharing hcs or aus. bc it wont b “canon accurate” & then will like fuck up some1s perception id #its not like any1 reads this lashfkj i just hmmmmmmm theres defiantly smth i should b discovering here i just am not... #i want 2 share my opinion bc its a fucking opinion theres nothing wrong w/it bc its not a fact EXCEPT in the way its a fact of how i FEEL o #THINK?? like its just its strange. i think this has a lot 2 do w/me never bing listened 2 as a child LOL uhhhhhhhh hmmmmmm yeah prolly akj #I FIGURED IT OUT I GOT IT ALLLLLL UNLOCKED #god i hhhhhhhhhhh some1 make a clone of me so i can talk 2 me like a therapist or smth #this is y i cant do therapy actualyl its bc i just keep yapping then by the time im done the therapist always went tyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy #srry ramblings

[queer-pagan-witch]

One day I will learn, that just because the bottle is low, does not mean I need to finish off the bottle.

#imma be so fuckin hungover tomorrow #someone should kiss me #and i moght be either asexual or aromantic or both which like woo thats funny to only me for so many trauma reasons #i love #im so drunk #i too drunk #i stated typing thos at 12:30 #imma smoke pot after i post this #if your reqding my tags hi i love you. why are you reading this though like im a schizo bipolar depreased trans girl im unhinged in the tags #i need to stop drinking by myself #if think im an alcoholic as well if it wasnt for the fact that i can genuinely stop when ever i want but idkmaybe that changes? #at this point im just typing to annoy myself cause i think its funny to annoy other people and itd be hypothetical to not annoy myself #im ramblimg in the tags and honestly its your fault for still reading this #trans thought time #i wish i was born with a pussy but i do like having a cock and there is a possibility im genderfluid and fuck me that sucks if true #like how do you transition if your genderfluid? like i kinda want a cock and pussy and i know thats an actual option #but is it the right option? #i hate being trans but not knowing what kinda trans maybe ill hit where im at with my gender and just say tranny #cause i already say faggot for my sexuality instead of anything specific maybe i should just say tranny #this is probably what a therapist is for but idk if i can justify paying for this instead of saving money to buy a hoise #america sucks #capitalism sucks #love is such a bullshit thing #how can i be in love with some ane be in love with someone. being in love is nothing but selfish but also you have to be selfish for youryou #like i know that doesn't make sense sense but it makes sense to me and i also know its wrong #maybe i should give up and spend money on a therapist #i love my freinds and would sacrifice myself for them literally #12:51 and i have one more short tag to add #i hope you didnt read this far cause even in a drunk state this tag is embarrassing and im sorry you know me irl im sorry this is rambly+ugh #but if you dead read all the tags <3 i love yoh and would die for you

[newtafterdark]

Just as I thought my life was slowing down a little so I could focus on myself & enjoy what I got currently going on, it reminded me that no, I can't have that without an absolute horrid thing happening that'll drain me for at least a few weeks.

I'm going to recover because I'm a stubborn bitch who also knows I deserve better. But man is it rotten work.

#newt's ramblings #tldr my mom's ex (who I have a very complicated relationship with) ended up in the hospital #he's taken care of now & will recover there for 2 weeks #but the entire situation is so fucked up in ways I do not want to share online #the only thing I will bitch about is his sister absolutely RIPPING into me over the phone (UNDESERVED MIGHT I ADD) to the point where- #- I cried on the phone with my stepdad's best friend later #and even had to message my therapist - something I never had to do before #I hate my stepdad's family and his best friend is a wise man for never having had any contact with them throughout the decades

[licorishh]

Most people really don't seem to understand that friendship is a two-way street.

They expect you to wait on them hand and foot as they rant about and constantly pour on you either their issues or their passions and when you finally have something you'd like to talk about you get a "Man that sucks :/" or a "Cool" in return.

Find somebody who doesn't do that. Then you'll have your best friend.

#i know i ramble sometimes and i'm extremely grateful that my best friend puts up with it :') #but see then in return i do the same for her because it would be completely unfair for me to expect her to act like a wall for me to talk a #or when i wanna show her something and i can tell she's being polite and it doesn't personally strike her fancy I MOVE ON #and she does the same for me and we have way frickin better communication and we have a frickin rad friendship #it's give and take #and also can we bring back the idea of being able to work through some things on your own? #like i am ALL FOR having a support system that can encourage you when things go wrong but some things can be solved on your own #i shouldn't be bearing the burden of figuring out your life for you you know? #i'm absolutely willing to help but if you're just going to spend all your time complaining to me and never ever take my advice #then there comes a point at which i'm literally just acting as your therapist and that's not how friendships are supposed to work #i've become kind of the designated therapist in a lot of friendships throughout my life #and it is exhausting constantly being complained at (sometimes over very minor things) #only to have that person or people COMPLETELY ignore your advice every single time you try to give it #that's not friendship my dude that's using me because you just want someone to complain to #like i said. support system good. treating your friend like an emotional punching bag to let out your problems 24/7 very very bad. #like when i was feeling completely unlike myself and irritated and frustrated for three dang years straight #i didn't really talk about it much because i knew it wasn't the kind of thing advice was going to fix #so i wasn't in the discord servers every two seconds “MAN I REALLY JUST DON'T FEEL GOOD :///” #because when other people do this to me there comes a point at which i'm like “WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO ABOUT IT” #like i've given you all the advice i have and you have taken absolutely none of it nor have you taken any action on your own #so now i'm just here to make you feel better about yourself and that's really not my job #emotional support is necessary. patting you on the head when you refuse to do anything to better your situation is not. #tl;dr people who refuse to do anything to better their situation other than complain to ME about it 24/7 drive me nuts #and it drives other people nuts so please don't do it to anyone #don't bottle up your emotions but also don't let them come crashing down and drown everyone you know #just because you can't be bothered to put ANY effort forth to contain them #emotional regulation is attractive~~~ #society today has built such a culture of “it's not YOUR fault and if you cry about it hard enough someone will fix it for you” like no sir #sometimes it IS your fault and sometimes you DO need to take responsibility #and if it is your fault then absolutely no one but you is obligated to fix it