#i swear i have a job

[four2andnew]

I shared this with my IRL peeps, but I'm gonna add on the fanfic stats here with my cult fellow fanfic enthusiasts

167 (Kindle) books, 9 DNFs, twenty-five 5 ⭐s, and my average rating for the year was a 3.6

I couldn't narrow it down to one fav book, so here's some categories:

Fav Fantasy (Romantasy): Fourth Wing by Rebecca Yarros (Tairn carries this series, I love him)

Fav Sports Romance: Icebreaker by Hannah Grace ("Shut up, Anastasia. You're not even half my warm-up weight" SIR!)

Fav Cowboy Romance: Heartless by Elsie Silver (Cade Eaton can spit on me any day of the week)

Fav Small Town Mystery (still a romance): Indigo Ridge by Devon Perry (literally could not put this one down)

Fav Dark/Mafia Romance: I Stop Somewhere Waiting for You by Amanda Jones (Thank god for unhinged men hopelessly in love with their women)

Fav Military Romance: Full Measures by Rebecca Yarros (the number of times I cried...)

Fav Arranged/Forced Marriage: Eyes of Silver, Eyes of Gold by Ellen O'Connell (I love me some good ol' western romances and this one was just **chef's kiss**)

And last but not least - Fav WTF Romance: Rowe by Dylan Page (I've never been so attracted to cave men in my life)

And now for the fanfic stats

I have roughly 40 pages of AO3 history for the year 2023, assuming 20 fic per page, that's roughly 800 fanfics I visited this past year. Here are some of my favorites (that I read in 2023, not necessarily published in 2023):

Ultimate Fav fic: Quidditch is for Losers by @fizzyginfizz

Fav re-read: Come Stay for the Summer by @ashotofogdensoldfirewhiskey

Fav Jily fic: The Reckless Now by @mppmaraudergirl

Fav Series: Moments in Time by @seriouslysam8

(Also I posted 8 fics of my own for a total of 49,807 words)

#book recs #yes I doxxed myself #goodreads #year in review #fic rec list #favs list #i swear i have a job #I'm just a fast reader #and my kids are finally at an age where they're somewhat self sufficient

[fairyboygenius]

100 likes! i’m so jobless coded

#100 likes #tumblr milestone #i swear i have a job

[raycatzdraws]

Wolfie and Four friendship appreciation doodles! They're shared secrets besties! I hope Four's distrust of the shadow crystal doesn't drive anything between them. Wild found his way into this compilation with a force. It seems I can't draw Wolfie and not include him too!

#linked universe #linkeduniverse #lu four #lu twilight #lu wolfie #lu wild #lu legend #lu hyrule #fairy hyrule #I drew most of these on my weekends at camp #hence the swearing probably lol can't swear in front of the campers #man I did not leave that mountain for the whole summer and I wouldn't have it any other way #I was there 6+ weeks straight #some of the other counselors who also stayed and I would occasionally make the hour drive into town #a bunch of us went to see the Barbie movie together and like 2/3 through the film the fire alarm went off and we were evacuated ajhsgfsdf #we all held hands to not be separated in case there was an actual emergency and some guy was like 'look at the preschoolers' #AND AAAAA I won't be separated from my counselor buddies!!!! RAAAHH this is what we would have gotten the kids to do #so I guess we're just too good at our jobs lol #that one LU post with the lads lined up with their bows? It's AWESOME #but I taught a bunch of kids archery this summer and none of the lads have the right posture lol #I'm walking up and down that line readjusting all of them ahsgdsdf #Imagine Wars going to Wind though like 'remember to pull back to your smile! :D ' #and Wind just deadeye staring him down like you serious rn? #caught and removed a scorpion from the lake cabin biffy this summer - that was very exciting #calmed the campers down and put them to bed and then rolled up my sleeves and asked the program staff who was staying with us #for emotional support #her only experience with scorpions was from animal crossing so she was like 'get ready to run' and I'm- I think we'll be okay #anyways it's her perched on one of the toilets with a spray bottle of bleach and me with an empty tupperware from dinner #I caught it under the tupperware but IT MOVED THE TUPPERWARE #we drowned it in bleach and it like finally died but it took a while and then we flung it into the woods BYE BUGGY

[lazylittledragon]

i refuse to believe that boycotting is hard. my favourite thing in the world is ordering maccies after a late night at work/a concert/getting drunk. yes i do miss it sometimes. but the other night i ordered from a small place near my house instead and it was the most orgasmic burger i've ever had in my life. i very rarely say this but fucking suck it up people are DEAD

#ramble #also only 0.29 delivery instead of 3.99 #and chilli cheese bites #i swear to god the best food you'll ever eat while drunk is from the tiny shithole that's open until 4am #if you're refusing to do literally the smallest thing you can do to help then i have questions #it's FOOD. you'll survive #it's not even NECESSARY food #if it was like a chain grocery place and you don't have access to anything else then i would understand #but it's just NOT #make your own coffee for the love of god #when there is NOTHING you can do to stop this fucking tragedy. and let's be honest there isn't a lot normal people can do #and people say to you 'do this insignificant thing just to show that you even CARE' #and you DON'T do that???? what is actually wrong with you #also i've been worried about this since my last post about sbucks but this is Not an attack on the people who WORK at the boycotted places #because it is an absolute privilege to be able to leave your job and immediately find a new one

[canisalbus]

The juxtaposition of these two posts has me thinking it's Ear from the first post waking them up, and Machete is just like "...I'm really not pleased but I'm also not going to be angry because that's not what Ear needs right now."

.

#aaaa nooo I swear I didn't mean for them to have anything to do with each other :'V #I don't think they would look this actively peeved if it was their Ear waking them up #it wasn't Ear's fault #answered #feral-renaissance-cat #in canon kid Machete threw up a million times and was on the other end of this situation more times than he can remember #I have faith he'd be invested in trying to do better job than his parents did #kid named ear

[little-pondhead]

Classic "promised-at-birth-to-the-Ghost-King" story, except the contract never states how, exactly, the King is to use the offered soul. Usually, one would be offered as a bride or sacrifice. But with Pariah Dark sealed away, his retainers got a little lazy in the last few millennia. They just made some generic contracts and practically handed them out like candy.

When Danny took over as king via conquest, that included all the weird and messed up soul contracts the previous retainers had signed. And since ghost magic was a thing and seemed to have it out for Danny personally, many of these contracts updated their terms and conditions as soon as that crown hit Danny's head, reflecting the new King's subconscious desires and personality.

This caused many issues with those still around to profit from these contracts. Some people lost their power, some gained more, and some were unbound and kicked to the curb. A few special people found themselves dropping dead after their less-than-ethical abilities disappeared.

Danny was unaware of the chaos he had unintentionally caused for quite a while. It was only brought to his attention when a letter arrived on his desk one day with a copy of someone's valid contract enclosed. The new changes have been highlighted, and a separate note is attached.

It seems that in exchange for blessings of near-immortality for her infant son, a mother had offered Pariah Dark both their souls in order to ensure her child's survival during harsh times. (The souls were to be collected upon death and were to be used as soldiers in the King's Army.) The mother's soul had returned to the Keep decades ago and was recently assigned to tend to the gardens, while her son seemed to have grown into a fine gentleman and was still alive. He used his mother's gifts to serve his country and loved ones well, it seemed.

At first, Danny didn't see what any of this had to do with him. If the mother was already a part of his kingdom, and the son would be eventually, why was a letter about the whole thing showing up before him?

Then he read the revised contract, which bore his magical signature. A signature that overruled the power of Pariah and binding it to him.

'...and as such, in return for the abilities stated above, [Mary Pennyworth] and [Alfred Pennyworth] will fulfill the conditions detailed below, upon pain of Ending.

[Mary Pennyworth], when returned to the Kingdom of Dark Kingdom of Stars, will work as a lieutenant in the Skeleton Army caretaker in the Gardens of Pluto.

STATUS: COMPLETED

[Alfred Pennyworth], when returned to the Kingdom of Dark Kingdom of Stars, will work as a general in the Skeleton Army caretaker of the King and his Court.

STATUS: PENDING'

Danny had to re-read the contract several times to understand what it was saying. He now had a caretaker? What did a caretaker do? Was it like a ghost parent? Could this guy ghost-ground him??

He sighed and pressed the speed dial on his phone for Tucker. Time to find out who the hell this Alfred Pennyworth guy was, and how to break a magic contract when it wasn't even fulfilled yet.

Meanwhile, Alfred had just found the original copy of the contract amongst his mother's belongings after it glowed and drew him in. The paperwork cleared up a lot of mysteries he'd always wondered about himself, even if he disapproved of his mother's methods. Nonetheless, he smoothed out the aged paper with dark green ink, noted the fresh (sloppy, a teenager?) signature, and began preparing to meet this supposed new King and his Court.

It wouldn't hurt to make introductions before he died, after all.

#pondhead blurbs #dpxdc #alfred is now their grandpa #i just want alfred to meet danny and his group of friends and unironically call him 'your majesty' and danny HATES it #like this is the guy who's gonna be my butler/caretaker after he dies? please man just say my name #it's not a cursed name i swear #no one else knows how to feel #cause like #if the contract wasn't in place everyone was sure Alfred would haunt the manor even after death due to his devotion to the wayne family #but now he's already got a job in the afterlife #so how will the bats see their father/grandfather figure now? #Bruce: the obvious solution is to adopt these random kids who still have families so alfred never has to leave :) #alfred isn't even dead yet but the bats are speedrunning their grief in like a week

[turtleblogatlast]

Love the thought of Leo just casually being well traveled to absurd degrees. Like one day they’re facing their new Big Bad of the year and like, Draxum or whoever says that the key to their fight is located somewhere in, like, Latvia or some place, but no one knows where to start.

Then Leo’s like “oh I know a place” and when asked how the heck he could know of one it smash cuts to Leo falling through the ceiling of said place due to a portal mishap.

Also love the idea of Leo, being as accidentally (and then later, purposefully) well traveled as he is, sometimes taking his family on outings to different places all over, maybe to some new Yokai spots he found along the way.

In these places, Leo 100% lets his bros get scammed by tourist traps.

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt leo #rise leo #rottmnt headcanons #bro was so excited about buying stuff that he didn’t realize it was a scam until too late #so now he’s super sus of all that BUT super willing to laugh at his fam for making the same mistake #anyway yeah I love Leo being well traveled because it honestly makes sense? why NOT use your teleportation to travel if you can do it fast #all his portal mishaps in the series as well as that time he accidentally went to Paris (+ once a diff dimension?) live in my head rent free #Leo destroying the stall of some random family’s restaurant in Paraguay and having to work it off the rest of the summer #he’s just like ‘hey guys I’m heading out’ but doesn’t mention it’s for a part time job in a different country #he only knows like English and Spanish BUT he’s picked up on a lot of other languages too due to his misadventures #tho he mostly knows a whole lot of various swear words #leo about to tease donnie for getting banned from witch town only to remember HE’S banned from a place in Turkey: 😬 #he keeps trying to find where he accidentally put his brothers in Tahiti but he can’t find it and he’s so salty about it lol

[unloneliest]

in the lonely hearts club job leverage asks the question "does romantic love exist?" and answers it by having eliot buy parker a venus fly trap on hardison's behalf, expecting no recognition and revealing eliot remembers a throwaway comment parker made on their second job together.

we all know this.

but was anybody going to tell me hardison already had a browser window open looking for restaurants to buy eliot in portland in response at the start of the episode immediately after that? or was i supposed to figure it out on a rewatch all by myself?!

#leverage #leverage ot3 #eliot spencer #eliot #hardison #alec hardison #parker #ot3 #leverage posting #jam posts #AND TO BE PERFECTLY CLEAR. I *CALLED* THE BREW PUB AS A RESPONSE TO THE VENUS FLY TRAP IN MY NOTES. THE PHYSICAL NOTES I TAKE #WHENEVER I WATCH LEVERAGE. I JUST DIDN'T REALIZE IT WAS THIS IMMEDIATE #my notes literally go girls/boys night out job 'parker is the only one playing 4d relationship chess so far. when does hardison join in & #what makes parker sure enough to push eliot more or is it just inevitable eliot's a part of the relationship conversation p&h have btween #seasons?' and then the lonely hearts job immediately afterwards is like. romantiv love exists. look at this very meaningful gesture eliot #made on hardison's behalf. answering the how does hardison clue in and what makes p&h confident enough to push question at the exact same #time. and then in the gold job. 'portland restaurants'. being searched. i swear to god.

[marinememes]

Going on temporary hiatus. I love y’all so much please put fish facts in the notes of this post.

#I just need to focus on my job and my health rn #marine biology #i will return #i swear #I will have occasional queued posts

[omaenanimonoda]

#guardian #zhen hun #fan art #weilan #镇魂 #i have a job i swear #edited w/a lighter background why was that so dark

[teastarfall]

no one and otto from the funny podcast,, i still need to listen to it i just know that otto sucks and that i should hate him

+ a stupid thing i threw up in 20 minutes or smth idkkkk dude

#i swear ill get to tson one day it sounds rlly good from what everyone’s saying #might use it as background noise for drawing instead of video essays idk #ANYWAY i don’t even fully know what ottos like and i already hate him 😕 #everyone just says he’s a rlly bad therapist #you have one job dude #i like no one i feel bad for her tho #little nightmares #the sounds of nightmares #little nightmares fanart #tson noone #tson otto #ln six #(shes there ig)

[fly-sky-high-arts]

I do want to talk about sharing art online from the perspective of a hobby freelancer but before that I'll just toss this tidbit I mentioned on my main

Reblogs are not numbers. Reblogs are meant to share and pass on artwork that someone may like. NO ONE is forced to reblog anything BUT it is a core of engagement in a space like tumblr. Engagement is what brings in interest after all and it's one piece of what makes it important for freelance artists here.

When you look at the numbers and the notes, we need to stop viewing them and comparing them with likes (me included) or total in general. It doesn't help.

Artists do self rebloging to both show or remind folks they've done some work as well as to nudge people to reblog their stuff. Tags are nice and comments in them are a nice way to engage too but passing on the work, especially to help someone to get noticed, is a good way to just work the site as intended.

It will always be about luck because we can't guess who wants to engage with what online. You also can't blame yourselves for this. Don't use the internet mentality of "content" (eugh!) and "flopping" and go about it that way. People find stuff I drew years back and find ways to engage with it now. It's really about luck.

There are things that can help but I'll go about it in another post.

One more thing. Don't be shy about "shilling". Advertise your open commissions, your patreons or ko-fis. I promise it has nothing to do with how big of an artist you are. Remember that you're doing that within your own zone so "bothering" followers is hardly the case, it's your house. Make a tag for it if it helps your mind. I say as someone with social anxiety.

#sky rambles #sorry I know this topic has been everywhere but it made me have so much on my mind #I also vibe on Savvy's streams when I can and artists chatting there make a lot of good points and HELPFUL tips! #so I end up thinking about stuff like this a lot #freelancing is hard #it's also not a job that's sustainable where I live #but also because I can't pace my work differently because I will hate it then #and I don't want to hate working what I enjoy doing #and numbers can really add to that because it turns into 'content' mentality #(i swear i am becoming allergic to that word it physically makes me recoil every time) #it's about finding what works for you EVEN IF IT'S BUSINESS #you NEED to pace yourself HOW IT WORKS FOR YOU and not what brings more money #as unfortunate as that may sound #otherwise you will burnout fast and hate every bit of it

[justsalpals]

decided to go through my dimension 20 calendar before I bring it into work, to really appreciate the art

got to june, the mismag page, and briefly thought to myself "hmm I hope no one sees this in passing and thinks I'm supporting HP"

only to see that they hid the phrase "FUCK TERFS" in the art five times

I love the folks at d20 so much

#when will mismag return from the war #now I hope my catholic hospital job won't get on me for having swears in my work calendar. but they probably won't notice. #misfits and magic #mismag #dimension 20

[to-be-a-dreamer]

How am I supposed to be normal when I have to wait a whole week for Grover and Annabeth to learn Percy isn’t actually dead and they didn’t just loose another friend who sacrificed themselves to buy them more time and Annabeth didn’t just loose one of the only people who ever cared about her without making her earn it all because she wasn’t able to see he was tricking her and Grover didn’t break his promise to Sally and do you understand me? That after Percy fell Echidna and the chimera would have come after Annabeth and Grover which could only mean one thing and they had to leave the arch believing they failed? How long do you think they had to wait until Percy came out of the river? How long did they sit beside each other, not saying a word because they failed, they failed again and now they have to finish this quest alone?

#NO BUT SERIOUSLY DO YOU REALIZE HOW SICK GROVER MUST FEEL #he was supposed to keep percy safe #it was his entire job #sally made him swear it minutes before she died #percy chose him to come on the quest specifically because he believed grover would always have his back #annabeth was tasking him to take care of percy and get him to the river #and grover wasn’t able to stop him #percy was sick and half dead and grover still couldn’t stop him #you’re telling me you’re just going to make me leave him like that for a whole WEEK? #that poor BABY???? #unacceptable I need a time machine right now #i’m so serious that cliffhanger was so rude and disrespectful i’m going to fight richard riordan in a denny’s parking lot #percy jackson disney+ #percy jackson and the olympians #percy jackson #percy jackson spoilers #grover underwood #annabeth chase

[math-is-math]

I am DYING to know what everyone (i.e. the peanut gallery) was thinking during this moment in World Tour

Everyone hates this girl, which is why they only bother to continue to see her on a surface level. They see the Heather that doesn't care about the feelings of others, who's selfish and prioritizes herself. She's someone with no emotions, no warmth. A single good bone couldn't possibly be in her body. There's no point in giving her the time of day if that's all she is: a purely evil ice queen.

But now here they are watching her be openly vulnerable, they see more of her heart. They’re now able to see a Heather who's capable of having warmth in her heart, who's able to care about someone who's not herself. They see she's capable of actually loving someone.

Did they start to realize hey wait a minute maybe we've been going about this all wrong? Maybe she's an actual person and not the heartless villain we've all imagined her to be? Maybe she wasn't born this way and something in her past caused her to become like this? Maybe we should extend some grace to her because this end result of her character wasn’t necessarily her fault?

I can't stand this mutual hatred for Heather between all of them, I need some justice for my girl they all need to be a family <3

#text post #someone PLEASE let me analyze heather’s character i promise i’ll do a good job #she's just heavily hurt and needs some tlc <3 #I don’t care if it’s called total drama they all NEED to be friends #i swear i will make a powerpoint presentation or write an essay if i have to #JUST SOMEONE LET ME TALK IM BEGGING !!! #total drama #total drama world tour #tdwt #total drama heather #td heather

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

having sensory problems is tough because how to i tell my stepdad that i want to throw a brick at him for having a snack in the same room as me-

#i had to go to my room i swear to god #the scrape of the fork the fucking mouth sounds IM A BITCH NOW SORRY #one wrong noise and i become an Asshole #internally. i will not outwardly express any of this #he's such a good person! he does not deserve the ire i feel when he makes The Wrong Noises which happens Quite Frequently! #now he's playing with the dog and i wanna throw TWO bricks at him #shutupshutupshutup theres too many noises at once im going to MAIM something #the tv the microwave the dog the fire the the the #punching something in my head... #absolutely unprompted #Man Don't You Have A Job To Go To Or Something. At *checks cat* Nine At Night #i might just. walk out into the dark woods for a bit. let the nonexistent wolves have me #maybe mothman will be there.... #IF HE BOOPS THE DOG ONE MORE TIME- #im evil now. im in my evil arc. im a hater. my heart burns with rage