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theabominableblogger · 6 years

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Rewatching “Gotham” S3E14

On this blog, we stan one kickass butler. And how much he loves his boy

As said before, the rest of these reaction posts I’ll be uploading are not chronological order. They’re like that because A) college and B) more college.

My sister watched it with me (as well as the other episodes left in my epic “Gotham” reaction series) so my comments will be in bold, and hers will be in regular font. Author’s notes courtesy of me will be bolded and italicized.

AN: I managed to record our reactions to this episode and hopefully I can transcribe what I said into this post.

*gasps as a grenade gets thrown into the precinct*

Jesus God!

Ohhhhh my gosh!

*both freak out over the opening titles*

Molotov cocktails- bet you can’t have just one.

Meanwhile Jeremiah’s like “Eh. Bazooka.” *chuckles*

You are walking straight into a trap, Oswald.

*Ed walks in* I bet you’re wondering why I’ve brought you all here today...

Oswald has like freaking umbrella cufflinks, did you notice that?

*chuckles*

“Oh, you [Ed] escaped.” Nooo....

*jaw drops as Ed shoots Oswald’s men*

*shook*

“Just wondering if I [Ed] was gonna have to reload.” Jesus God.

“...what’s happening...” ‘What’s happening?’ He’s been playing you for a sap!

...Like the cheap kazoo you are.

*starts pretending to play “Amazing Grace” on the kazoo*

*claps hands for each word* JUSTICE FOR ISABELLA, I swear!

*claps hands* Yes!

“Isabella was my everything, and you [Oswald] took her from me.” [Ed] YOU MET HER [Isabella] LIKE A DAY AGO!

*laughs* You met her in like a span of a day!

*claps hands* She still deserves better!

I know! I still think she’s a useless character though.

I don’t care! She deserved better!

“You [Oswald] still have your life. But that ends tonight!” *starts singing “Tonight” from “West Side Story” without trying to giggle*

*chuckles* You weren’t kidding about the random songs.

Seriously, I do it all the time!

Court of Owls!

The only thing I will never find plausible about the Court of Owls is this idea of “Oh, they’ve been ruling over Gotham from the shadows this whole time,” bullshit.

*both do rising spooky hands*

OK though, I don’t know her name, they don’t give her a name, but she’s like the best. You see her in previous episodes, she’s like the secretary. Girl, you rule!

*puts hands together* Well, I’m gonna give her a name. Because in the 66 series, Gordon’s secretary is named Bonnie.

Bonnie! Ooh, I like that name.

You never actually see Bonnie, you just hear her on the intercom.

“Meanwhile, Cobblepot’s MIA. You call down to City Hall, and literally no one’s in charge. Although that might actually be good news.” *both laugh*

*giggles* They capitalized “dumpster” on the [close captioning on Netflix]

*waves hands in air in imaginary rainbow* DUMPster!

“He’s [Jerome] not one to miss out on the fun, so what does he want?” “A puppy?!?” *laughs*

“[Oswald] You saw a man that I [Ed] met in Indian Hill that does killer impersonations [Clayface].” *both end up nodding in agreement*

That’s one way to put it.

I mean, yeah...

“GHOSTS AREN’T REAL!” Pfft!

“But my father’s remains... you stole them from his grave?” WHAT NAH WHAT?!?

When did that happen?

I don’t know....

“I [Ed] gently placed his [Elijahs’] remains inside a dumpster behind a Chinese restaurant.” Oh that’s just mean!

That’s awfuuulll!

That’s meeeaannn!

“You were angry. I [Oswald] understand. I even forgive you.” I love how Ed’s like “Son of a bitch...” and he adjusts his glasses before he turns back.

“So you [Oswald] admit you killed Isabella?” “Fine. Is that what you want?” “Yes.” *groans in frustration*

“You [Ed] should thank me [Oswald] because we both know what would have happened if I hadn’t!” *bug eyes in alarm*

WHAAAATTT?!?

“I [Ed] could have lived a life with the woman I loved!” *both clap hands and aggressively point fingers at screen in agreement*

See see see see?!? Yes! God! Thank you!

“No, Ed. You would have killed her!” *leans back* NOOOOOOOOO!!!

“Just like you did the other one!” NOOOOOO!!!

Justice for Kristen Kringle too because I’m still pissed about that.

Yeah, I know, I know! Yeah, I hated what happened to her.

“I did it for love.” “What?!?” What?

“I did it because I love you.” *laughs in frustration*

“Love is about sacrifice! It’s about putting someone else’s needs before your own!” *splays hand towards screen in agreement*

“'Cause the truth is, Oswald, you would sacrifice anyone to save your own neck.” *silently nods in agreement*

“Even me.” Uh Ed, you’d do it too. *laughs*

I was gonna say, how does the guy who literally strangled his last girlfriend to death know more about love than [Oswald]?!?

“Now, if you'll look above us, you will see a cauldron of highly corrosive acid, which is currently being held in place by this chain. When the ice melts, the chain comes loose, the vat of acid tips... you get the idea.” This is such a Batman 66 trap.

I was gonna say Professor Ratigan but that works too.

*in unison* Snap! Boom! Twang! Thunk! Splat!

I mean, if you look really closely at the 66 Riddler, dude was like freaking Jigsaw.

He wasn’t in a wheelchair though.

*in best Jigsaw voice* Hello, Oswald.

Suck a dick, Oswald, Though not his dick- you might get mange.

*buries face in elbow* OH MY GODDDDDD!!

I’m surprised too.

OH MY GOODDDDDDD!!

“I mentioned that you [Jim] killed my husband on our wedding night,and he [Jerome] thought that was hilarious, so that’s something the two of you can bond over when you find him.” Lee’s just amazing.

LEEEEEEE!!!

Lee deserves better.

Though later, Lee’s like “Mmm, I’m still like extremely angry about this. Tetch Virus!” and I’m like “WHY?!?!?!?”

Tetch Virus AKA Dumb Plot Device.

Dull!

“I’ll’’ [Alfred] nip downstairs and see if there’s any life left in that old generator.” Does he have like no other- did the Waynes have any other staff besides Alfred?

I don’t know...

I’ve always wondered that.

I don’t know. They never really bring it up.

“Alfred....” Don’t do it!

*both freak out when Alfred gets jumped by cult followers*

Ohhhh shit!

*Jerome walks in, pretending to be a ghost* Pfffttt...

Seriously like, where did he get that outfit?

It’s a straitjacket! He nicked it out of Arkham, I’m sure.

Or it’s like “Oh I’m sorry, gotta find my old friend Bruce. Oh SYKE! Outfit change!”

He’s extra enough to do that.

The Valeska twins are just extra to the core. They’re from the circus, they’re judgy.

*chuckles* It comes with the territory.

“Teenagers, am I [Jerome] right?” You are one!

If I recall, he’s like a couple years older than Bruce.

*shakes head*

I would say he’s about [my sister’s] age.

Ohhh OK.

*The owl statue doesn’t break when Jerome drops it* It stuck!

*groans in frustration when Jerome ends up breaking the owl statue*

“Right. Sorry. The old noodle’s still a little al dente post-thaw.” *laughs* Al dente? Is that a pasta?

Don’t know.... I mean, I imagine, waking up from the dead, your brain would feel a little bit like spaghetti.

AN: Yeah, al dente describes pasta or rice that’s supposed to firm when you eat it.

“It’s been nagging at me since I [Jerome] woke up. The idea of slitting that pretty, pink throat of yours...” Don’t ever refer to Bruce as pretty pink anything.

*imitates the way Jerome twirls his knife in the air before pointing it at Bruce*

“And you’re [Jerome] just going to kill me here? That’s kinda disappointing.” You have got balls of steel, Bruce.

*mouths along with Jerome as he says “Flair? Hmmm? Style? Panache?!?”*

He’s like Alex from “A Clockwork Orange”

“I’m Bruce Wayne.” “I’m aware.” *both wheeze in laughter*

“My [Bruce’s] company is the machine that keeps the cogs of Gotham running.” OH MY GOD, you badass!

“You’re saying I [Jerome] need an audience?” Took you long enough to get it!

*tries not to laugh when Jerome suddenly dips into a British accent in front of Alfred*

“I [Bruce] will see you [Alfred] again.” *pats chest* God, I love their relationship in this shoooow!

That was like straight out of “Arkham Origins,” I swear...

I know....

*Oswald still tries to get out of Ed’s trap* Couldn’t you just like slide up though? Just shimmy up?

He can’t go far...

“I happen to be the mayor of Gotham...” *ends up cracking up at the delivery of that line*

“What did you do?” *scoffs in hilarity*

*Oswald gets out of the trap just in time* SHIIIT!!

OH IT ATE STRAIGHT THROUGH THE CAR.

*Jerome’s followers trash the manor in front of Alfred* Damn!

“And how ‘bout you, Mr. Machete? Come on in, sunshine. Don’t be shy. Your mother wasn’t. Chop-chop.” *BOTH JAWS DROP IN SHOCK*

*ends up wheezing*

DAAAAAMMMNNNN!!

GOOOO ALFRED!!!

YEESSSSSS!!!

WHERE THE HELL DID YOU [Jim] COME FROM?!?

He snuck in! That’s why Alfred was saying all that stuff. He was letting Jim know where everybody was.

Ohhhhhhh.... OK.

*on verge of losing voice* HE [Alfred] JUST STABBED HIM [the follower] WITH A MACHETE!

HOLY SHIT!

*reels back* OH ALFRED, YOU BADASS!

Holy shit!

OH MY GOD!

That was awesome!

Oh my God!

*Bruce arrives at the cult circus* Amusement Mile... I swear this is Amusement Mile..

I think so. It’s one of the few permanent landmarks Gotham has across incarnations.

*ends up wincing at half of the games the cult plays*

This is like a mix between “The Purge” and “Hell Fest”

Oh God.

That’s literally what this is.

“What do you say, Bruce? Wanna have some fun before the main event?” That’s a cool shot [of Jerome].

Hooo hooo...

*dives across room to put on hat for rest of episode*

Alfred’s like “I don’t care, I’m not police, I’m goin’ in!”

Oh my God...

Yess! Like the badass you are, Alfred!

*winces when Jerome stabs a follower beside him*

*both groan in horror when Jerome uses the blood to paint a frown on Bruce’s face*

*freezes when Tabitha snags her whip around Oswald’s neck*

Oh shit!

“Now, where’s Nygma?” “I [Oswald] don’t know.” If he’d knew, he’d murder his ass.

“[Butch] Stop pretending that you are anything but muscle! Yes, you used to be someone in Gotham, but those days are in the past!” You stop pretending that you have any pull in this situation, Oswald. You’re the one who has a whip around your neck!

“Remember when I [Tabitha] put a knife in your mom’s back?” Oh yeah, she’s the one that killed the mom. And it SUCKED!

“You [Oswald] never did anything about it.” *cups hands with mouth* S4 finale!

*proceeds to smack laptop with hat*

*bug eyes when Butch knocks out Oswald*

“You [Butch] realize you have to carry him now.” *both chuckle*

C’mon, he weighs like 120 pounds tops.

Soaking wet.

“A few dozen brainwashed maniacs can’t keep the city hostage forever.” “Well, duh...” Pffttt...

“The point is that all these people out here, looting, robbing, killing, they're the people who wash your car, who pour your coffee, who take out your trash. And what happened the moment the lights went out? They showed their true faces. They showed how quickly they want to open up your rich boy veins and bathe in your blue blood.” *very softly* Oooh, that’s a good line.

“There are good people in Gotham.” This is the Killing Joke. ‘All it takes is one bad day.’

“Face it, kid: Gotham has no heroes.” Yeah, but the people who crawl under their beds and lock their doors are the ones that are biding their time.

*Bruce pushes Jerome so that he messes up his shot* Ooohhh!

“Foul! He pushed me! Did you see that?!?” Genesis of Batman and Joker’s relationship: a shove!

*softly* Jesus Christ....

*The “punk” ends up being dropped anyway* Oh my God...

*both yell in disgust when Jerome has to re-staple part of his face*

“Did that hurt?” *z-snaps in shock*

*Jerome puts a staple in Bruce’s arm* Did he [Bruce] just No-Sell-

Ohhh! Ohhh! YES! YES HE DID! Yes he did!

*both yell when Jerome does it again*

Aaahhh! Aahh, that was on the wrist too!

“Stop!” He took two! He took two of those!

Over the wrist too! God, that’s a major vein!

Did you see Jerome there?!? He’s like “Well, wait a minute...”

*imitates the dramatic way Jerome puts his hat back on*

“Where the hell is our back up?” Still two minutes out.” Alfred is your back up!

*chuckles* All you need is Alfred!

“All right, so we [Jim, Harvey, and Alfred] go in, find Bruce, get him to safety, then we go after Jerome. Ready?” “Not really.” *chuckles*

*Jerome comes out in his ringmaster costume* AAAAHHHH THE SUIT!!

Oh, that’s so cool.

YESS!!

*Jerome slaps his butt* Did he-

Yes he did.

“The show is about toooo...begin!” He [Jerome] was doing a Mark Hamill voice there for a second!

I know! He does the Mark Hamill laugh sometimes.

Ohhh that’s badass!

Yeah.

*both try to laugh at the stock crowd gasp when Jerome shoots a rowdy audience member*

Y’know what, he [Jerome] would be the guy that would carry around canned sound effects like that.

“So, how to thank the best darn cult of fanatics a messiah like myself [Jerome] could ask for?” *chuckles* Oh my God...

“I give you-” *does small verbal keyboard smash when the ta-da fanfare stock sound goes off*

“QUEUE!” *laughs*

*Bruce gets carted out* Oh my God.

*mouths along with Jerome saying “Or better yet.... a boom?,” dramatic hand gesture included*

*The cannon gets rolled out* They’re gonna shoot his ass out of a cannon?!?

*laughs* Yeah, like Jerome’s gonna fly out of a cannon!

NO, Y’KNOW WHAT?!? I would pay good money to see that though!

*legitimately trying not to cry laughing* I can just see Cameron Monaghan going *makes flying sound effect*

No, like they’re gonna bada bing bada boom [shoot Bruce with the cannon]

Oh OK.

*laughs*

OK, y’know what, I would have bought it either way!

*keels over laughing* I’m just imagining Cameron Monaghan.... WHHHEEEEEUUUU!!!

AN: Please God someone draw this, I’m begging you.

“NAILED IT” AS HE [Jerome] POURS IN NAILS!

*both yell in horror at Jerome pouring various kitchen knifes into the cannon*

“Whatever you do, please, definitely try this at home. Preferably on a family member.” *wheezes*

“WHOOO! DOGGIE!” Somebody saw “Dr. Strangelove.”

Cameron’s like “Yes, I’m getting PAID!”

“Ready, partner?” *hits desk with hat*

*Alfred starts beating up cult members* Go Alfred!

Go Alfred!

*mutters* You magnificent boss, you...

*both laugh when Jerome’s hat gets shot off*

*Jerome sets off the cannon fuse* Oooooooooohhhhhhh!!

*yells*

*Bruce starts to pick the handcuffs off* C’mon, Bruuuuuuucceee.... c’mon, Bruuuuucccceee...

C’mon, last handcuff. You got this.

*Bruce loses one of the staples* Oooohhhhhhh!!!

Knock the thing [the stand that Bruce is on] over! Knock the thing over! Knock it over so at least you’re out of range!

Well he has one more [staple] though in his wrist. Or does he? Yeah, he has one more!

*in unison* C’mon, c’mon c’mon c’mon c’mon c’mon c’mon!

*jaws drop when Jim and Alfred discover the remnants of the staff that Bruce barely escaped from*

HOLY CRAP!

He broke it?!?

I guess...

Oh no, we gotta back to this [Ed and Oswald drama]! *hits leg with hat* Nooooo!!

“I [Oswald] I underestimated you, Barbara.” *sarcastically* NAAAHHH, really?!?

I hate that dress [the striped one Barbara wears]. I hate that dress so much.

Holy crap, ooooohhhh... that’s from Tabitha’s whip [the mark on Oswald’s neck]!

Ooooohhhh... euugghhh...

“So I [Oswald] help you [Barbara] find Ed... things go better for me... I don’t know, you kill me? That about it?” That’s just about the sound of it.

“Yeah.” Yeah.

*Bruce runs into the Mirror Maze* Oohhhhhhhhh...

Oooohhhhh here we go.

“Bruce, darling.” *points excitedly at screen*

This is the scene!

This is the one “Dark Knight Returns” homage I will ever accept.

*Jerome in front of the mirrors* OH MY GOOOOSSSHHH! Look at that!

That’s awesome.

That is amazing!

That is the coolest damn thing.

Ooooooooooooohhhhh!!

*Bruce comes into the frame* Whooooo hoo hooo hooooo!!

*shocked* Oh shit!

“You’re [Jerome] going to pay for what you’ve done.” *snaps fingers excitedly*

Daaamn, son!

“What’s going on? [Oswald] You have a weird look on your face. Like, weirder than normal.” *scoffs in hilarity*

“Oswald, you loved him, and he [Ed] betrayed you.” Kill him! Kill the love you feel! Prove that death is stronger than love! And you can have your own life again!

Yes, I quoted “Once on This Island,“ what of it?

“But I killed Isabella... because I wouldn’t share him.” Yeah, no shit, eh?

“Ed said love is sacrifice.” *buries face in hat*

“I shoudl have been able to sacrifice my happiness for his.” It took you this long?!?

*both shook when Ed walks in*

[Oswald] You are so dead now...

“You’re [Ed and Barbara] in this together.” Yeah, no shit, eh?

“I [Ed] wanted you [Oswald] to die knowing that you were incapable of loving another person.” “But I can. I just proved that, right?!?” No, you didn’t.

You notice that Bruce is like right beside him [Jerome]!

Yep.

“Let’s do this mano y mano.... my little conquistador [Bruce].” Ahhhhh, don’t call him that.

*gasps when Bruce tackles Jerome from behind*

Shit!

“What kind of hero tackles someone from behind?!?” *chuckles in shock*

*gasps when Bruce beats Jerome to the ground and starts the beatdown*

Keep going!

*Bruce picks up a piece of glass to stab Jerome with* Oh shit!

*both too much in the moment to say anything when Bruce decides not to kill Jerome*

*out of breath* Go Alfred...

C’mon, Alfred!

*both raise our hands and cheer when Bruce runs to hug Alfred*

*Jerome stumbles out toward Bruce and Alfred* OoOOhhhhh!! Ohhhh boy...

Take his ass out! He’s not gonna last much longer!

*yells in shock when Jim runs up and punches Jerome*

*both yell and reel back in horror/disgust when Jerome’s face gets punched off*

*trying not to laugh* His face is back off!

His face...

*in unison, with fancy hand gesture* Off!

*giggles* Had to lighten the mood somehow.

HE [Jim] JUST PUNCHED A DUDE’S FACE OFF!

*laughs* How often can you literally say that?

I KNOW!

“[Harvey] You wish I [Jim] would’ve shot him [Jerome]?” “Eh, he’d probably just come back from the dead again.” “Probably.” *both stifle a laugh*

“At least you [Jim] get to say you punched a man’s face off.” Exactly!

EEeeyyyyyyyy!

*grumbles and hits desk with hat* But Jeremiah dies in the next season.

Jeremiah?

*keels over* SON OF A-

*evil laugh*

There’s twins! Shut up!

“Well, got to say the clown makeup was way more terrifying than the damage underneath, Master Bruce.” Pfft.

“Did I [Alfred] ever tell you that I don’t like clowns?” *bug eyes in horror*

*whispers* You’re not gonna like Jeremiah then.

He’s less clownish than [Jerome]

True.

I love this orange lighting

“Shall I [Alfred] tell you [Bruce] what I thought? I thought how proud I was of you.” *puts hands to chest*

“Of the man you’ve become.” *smiles*

“I almost killed him, Alfred.” But you didn’t.

“But if you [Bruce] keep going, you’re gonna need rules.” Vengeance blackens the soul, Master Bruce. You walk the edge of that abyss every night, but you haven’t fallen over, and I thank heaven for that.

*softly* This is that scene!

“I will not kill.” *both raise our hands in anticipation*

SAY IT!

“Say it again.” Say it, c’mon...

C’mon!

“I will not kill.” *both clap hands toward screen*

YAAAASSSSS!!

My sweet badass bab!

*in dramatic Batman voice* Sad Boy... is now... Vengeful Boy!

*laughs*

*about falls out of chair reeling back* OH SNAP THE CLONE!

*bug eyes*

*throws hat at screen*

“I [Five] still don’t understand how I can help save Gotham.” His voice is different!

Yeah.

That’s the doppleganger theme!

Oh shit, son!

OOOOO-OOOOHHHH!!

*Someone knocks on Jim’s door.” Have a drink first. No wait, you’re gonna need that.

*softly* God damn, this freaking pier...

“Ed...I love you.” *both so done*

“I... don’t... love you.” *snaps fingers in agreement*

“You need me, Edward Nygma!” No he doesn’t!

“When I [Oswald] met you [Ed], you were a nervous, jittery, loser!” :[

“I created Edward Nygma!” You’re full of shit

AN: Oswald kinda has a point though. Just sayin’...

You see him [Oswald] spitting up foam?!?

“You can’t do this...” Yes he damn well can.

“Ed, are you listening to me?” “...I’m listening...“ NO! Don’t listen to him!

*both raise our eyebrows in shock when Ed shoots Oswald*

*laughs* AND WE NEVER SEE HIM AGAIN!

Push him in! Push him in!

*Ed pushes Oswald into the river* YEEEEEEESSSS...

*sings* IF YOU LOVE ME, LET ME GOOOO-OOOO-OOOOO!!

*slow jams to Penguin’s theme playing as Oswald sinks to the bottom*

Go to hell, Oswald. I know he lives but let me have this.

*jams the crap out to the ending theme*

#Gotham #FOX #the blogger reacts #looked at the stars and considered a reaction #the gentle art of making enemies #oswald copplepot #edward nygma #isabella gotham #bruce wayne #lee tompkins #jim gordon #jerome valeska #alfred pennyworth #cameron monaghan #jeremiah valeska #barbara kean #tabitha galavan #butch gilzean #court of owls

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