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#i need izana
izanaslvr-444 · 4 months
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I would give this man the most sloppiest, wettest, creamiest, soul taking, slimy, life changing, death dropping, heaven sent, flabbergasting, hypnotizing, heavenly, astonishing, leg trembling, hands desperately grabbing the sheets, legs stretching out again and again, toe curling, voice breaking, whimper causing, waist slowly moving up and down, small heavy breath, "I can't take it much longer", breaths getting quicker, twitching throbbing eyes shut lip biting, back arching, edging begging for relief, warm hot rush bubbling up spit upon spit tongue twisting ground tip- talking against mouth, sideways spit from the end and lick from the bottom to the top then spit from the to and lick to the bottom deepthroating mascara dripping down my face, slower then faster faster than little faster then perfect pace twisting mouth around each side, hands in my hair brutally using my mouth, spiritually enlightening chakra balancing, mangekyo sharingan unlocking, golden light like a halo around the top, noise from the very edge of his throat for the final release head ever. And THEN I'd let him pound me so hard into the bed and use my body as through it doesn't belong to anymore that he literally throws me around and does as he please. I wouldn't argue,I wouldn't raise a word, no sir, not to daddy, absolutely not. He could ruin me, corrupt me, hit me, choke me, tie me up, bite me, I would absolutely encourage everything he does as long as I get a smidge of his attention and love. This man could make me fuck myself on his fingers and I wouldn't argue even if I ended up passing out, he could bruise me up and laugh at me and I would take it just to listen to him praise me. I would take him for 50 rounds in 60 positions cause never back down never what????
NEVER GIVE UP and I am not giving up to screw me till my mind becomes nothing but subservient to him.
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seraphdreams · 1 year
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i want izana saur bad :(
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rubyrins · 4 months
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𖤐 I can’t move on - Bonten and tenjiku
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𖤐 you broked up with them and a week later they come to you
𖤐this was originally supposed to be for ran 😍 but why not make another separate one but text
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And yes izana will never admit he can’t move on…couldn’t write this properly since my right arm hurtsss so bad
Lovelotss—
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I rest my case
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tokyo-daaaamn-ji-gang · 2 months
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Hello! I came across your hc's the other day and I love how accurate they are
Can you drop your hc's for tr girls and fem reader who sort of acts like a big sister to them? since none of them have an older sister iirc, I thought it'd be cute! (+ bonus izana iyw? doesn't necessarily have to be romantic ^^)
Thank you, have a great day ∘⁠˚⁠˳⁠°
Thanks, glad you like them! This is such a cute idea too! I think they'd all love to have an older sister figure in their lives, it would probably lead to something like this...
Knowing Senju and Emma since you were all kids, you lived near the Sano's and would frequently babysit all the kids there while Shinichiro and Takeomi were busy. With Senju and Emma especially taking a shine to you and calling you big sis.
Years later Emma later introduces you to Hina, with the two of you instantly hitting it off.
Meeting Yuzuha while she's a kid, you were the only one to notice her injuries and ask if she was ok. After that you checked up on her often, usually helping to clean and bandage any injuries she had.
The girls constantly going to you for advice, they trust your word and want your opinions on so many things.
Emma trying to set you up with whichever one of her brothers she thinks is best so you can be her real sister.
You taking the girls for trips, driving them where they want to go.
All of the parents and grandpa Sano loving you, you're just such a good influence
Senju eagerly showing you any new moves she learnt at the gym, she knows you're always happy to see them and usually clap for her.
Trying to give Hina and Emma boy advice (and secretly just going to Takemichi and Draken to give them advice too)
Yuzuha having someone to vent to about her problems, you making her feel not so alone and better about her situation.
Matching outfits or accessories!
You being super overprotective of them, anyone who even dares to look weirdly at them is dead
So many of Kisaki's plans getting ruined by you
Shopping trips together! (You treat them to ice cream at the end after seeing Senju's face light up)
Spending Halloween together, helping Hina and Emma to throw the party they wanted.
Going to any of Yuzuha's archery performances to cheer her on
Being there to offer the girls hugs whenever they need them (Yuzuha and Senju desperately need them)
The girls being a bit protective of you too, especially if a guy tries to hit on you.
You getting heavily involved in the black dragons arc, refusing to let Yuzuha deal with her brother alone.
Going to festivals with Yuzuha and Senju (you guys definitely aren't spying on Hina and Emma with their dates)
And finally, you crying at Hina's wedding. You helped her plan so much of it and did your best to help her with Takemichi over the years. Seeing her finally get her happy ending just makes you so happy for her.
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kazutora-kurokawa · 2 months
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Rockstar!Izana Headcanons
♡ SFW->NSFW, Obsessive!Izana, Electric Guitar Player!Izana, Cheater!Izana, Izana being toxic and controlling, praise + degradation, breeding kink, exhibitionism ♡
note: This idea was submitted by @katkitkats, thank you Kat 🫶 I decided to add cheater!Izana into this because it just felt right lol
❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀
🎸 He's a jackass to all his bandmates and any groupies that come around
🎸 Acts nice when he's performing for his fans but he's a terrible person behind closed doors
🎸 Doesn't take your relationship seriously
🎸 Even though y'all aren't in a serious relationship, he considers you his property
🎸 Gets mad when he sees you talking to other guys after he's told you not to
"I could've sworn I told you not to talk to him y/n! Do I have to fuck the disobedience outta you?"
🎸 Fucks you when he feels like it, threatens to sleep with other women if you get clingy
"Why are you always all up on me? Gimme some damn space!"
🎸 He's cheated on you before and he always brings it up during arguments
🎸 Even though he cheated he still comes running back to you because he doesn't want you to be with anyone else
"I'm sorry princess, you know it didn't mean anything. You're the only one I want, I swear."
🎸 Has a breeding kink and fills you up every time he fucks you, degrades you when he does it
"You like when I fill up your pretty pussy? You nasty little slut ♡"
🎸 He takes comfort in knowing you're all his, even if he doesn't give a fuck about you
🎸 Makes you give him head while his bandmates are around to establish that you're his
"You look so much prettier with my dick in your mouth ♡"
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Taglist
@arlerts-angel @i-literally-cant-with-this @trevengersprincess @giugiette @happy-trenchcoated-impala @rindousbabyg
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hobiebrownsluver · 3 months
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me after falling so hard for/liking a character so hard that when i realize in the middle of the night that i will never be able to physically talk, hold or spend time with them outside of fanfic and my imagination i genuinely start tweaking
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tenjikubaby · 2 years
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many fluffy thoughts about ran haitani for your comfort and mine
girl help, i-i- *vomits ran fluff onto your dash*
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What’s it like having Ran as your partner? Gender-neutral HCs
Ran doesn’t fall so easily but when he does, you’ll have yourself a doting, caring partner who loves to pamper you.
➼ Ran would want you to look your best, and not only so you’d look good standing next to him! (lol) Because he loves you, he’d want you to feel confident in the way you look. He might take you to his regular salon, offer style advice, or even introduce you to a skincare or haircare routine if you don’t already have one. Before you go out into the streets together, he’d tell you how good you look and remind you to keep your chin up. After all, someone like you, who managed to steal his heart, should stand proud. 
➼ I think he’ll be the type to wipe the corner of your mouth if you missed a stain on it, fix your hair if a strand is out of place, smooth down your clothes, fix your collar or tie if it’s askew, etc. (He definitely used to do this to Rindou) 
➼ He thinks about you a lot so that when he finds an outfit from a magazine that would look great on you, or smells a perfume that screams “you” to him, he’d want to show you! All he needs is the slightest sign of approval–-maybe your face brightening up? Perhaps a small smile? Maybe you looked at it for more than ten seconds? Before you know it, he’s already bought it for you.
➼ Shopping with Ran, huh? This gives you the privilege of seeing him try on clothes! He’ll ask you what you think, or to pick out stuff you’d like to see him wearing. Of course, he’d want to buy clothes for you too. If you ever had the experience of your mom making you come back to the fitting room again and again because she found some great clothes for you, here it is again! Except it’s not your mom anymore but your partner. 
➼ If you’re not well-off, Ran would spoil you to death. He’d want you to experience all the luxuries that he and his brother do. You get to have your dates at fancy fine-dining restaurants. You receive only the most expensive chocolates. Your wardrobe is slowly filling up with designer clothing. He would give you the world as long as you stay with him. 
➼ Relaxing with Ran is always a treat. Imagine being pampered by Ran in his room: he is softly humming as he covers your face in an expensive mask. Him brushing or massaging oils into your hair. His touches are so gentle, and it makes you sleepy. All while doing these, a perfectly serene smile is on his face. (He rarely ever gets to do this on Rindou, so he is happy to have you.)
➼ There are days when you both just want to chill on their balcony wearing bathrobes, sipping wine (or any drink of your choice) out of fancy glasses. Your usual topics of conversation are celebrities, fashion, art, and maybe even philosophy! Ran is interested in hearing your opinions on different topics as well as sharing his own. If anyone tries to disturb your time together, they will face Ran’s wrath. His time with you is precious!
➼ Ran would be the #1 reason you’re late to anything because his bed is just so comfy, he’s so comfy, and honestly, how could you leave that pretty sleeping princess behind? If he wakes up to you leaving the bed, he will try to pull you back in. He’ll say “5 more minutes” while wrapping himself tighter around you.
➼ As his partner, you must laugh at his dad jokes. He loves puns, so come up with some of your own, won't you? Aside from dad jokes, his humor can be outdated. He’s the type of person who’d use a 2016 meme in 2020. Sometimes, you or Rindou need to explain certain memes or trends to him. It’s cute. He’s cute.
➼ To Rindou, you are a godsend. With you around, his brother is less of a killjoy (his words). He can party just a bit longer and be as loud with his friends as he wants. If he’s lucky, you manage to get his brother out of the house for maybe a night or two. It’s also fun for him to see his brother go so soft with you. 
➼ Ran is anxious whenever you hang out with people he doesn't know. He would want to meet your friends, and if any of them feel off to him, he would tell you. (His intuition is pretty good, after all). He won't ask you to stop hanging out with them but will remind you to be cautious. It's not out of possessiveness but worry about your safety. Your boyfriend, after all, rules Roppongi. People are always out to exploit his weaknesses.
➼ If you somehow piss him off, you have to wait for him to come to you. If for example, you’re spending the night at their residence, you have to stay on the couch before he allows you back in his room. In the middle of the night, you might feel yourself being gently shaken awake by Ran (it’s a bit scary because his hair-covered face is the first thing you see) who wants to invite you back into his room. You’re forgiven. 
➼ If he’s pissed you off, he’d also stay away for a while. Sooner or later, he’ll take out a cake or tub of ice cream with two spoons and sit with you so you can share it. If he sees you busy working on something, he’ll approach with a mug of a hot drink he prepared for you and a snack before sitting beside you. The apology comes after a long moment of silence, and things are okay again. Humbling himself and saying sorry was hard for him at first, but it got easier because he loves you. 
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strawberry-milkbunny · 8 months
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I have no one to talk to about Tokyo Rev so here r my random hot takes that I need to say:
- Emma and Hina r boring and used as romance plot devices it’s okay to admit that Wakui can’t write women idk I don’t expect shounen/men to be able to write girls well (still cried when Emma died tho bc she didn’t deserve it!!!)
- lol I LOVE Yuzuha and Senju tho
- I actually do like Emma and Draken together but I also firmly believe Draken is in love w/Mikey and was just projecting onto Emma LMAO
- Yuzuha is a lesbian
- Controversial: I don’t think Shinchiro was THAT great of an older brother. Like he was cool but he still introduced Mikey and Izana into the world of gang life/normalizing violence and yeah OG Black Dragons isn’t like that but….what do u expect when u form a gang??? .obviously there’s a high chance that it’s gonna develop into LEGIT gang activity
- As an adult and someone who was basically raised by an older sibling w/a big age gap (my sis is 7 years older) I kinda don’t blame Takeomi for being a bad older brother??? Realistically he’s a 17 yr old in charge of raising 2 toddlers like NO SHIT he did a bad job. At least Shin had his grandfather to help out but Takeomi actually had no one. Doesn’t explain y he’s a brokey LOL buttttt again I don’t FULLY blame him for being a bad sibling still hurt my boi Sanzu 😤😤
- I HC that Mikey is used to having a caretaker (Draken and later Sanzu) bc when Shin died he was so depressed and genuinely couldn’t get out of bed
- Takemitchy is also lowkey boring/typical shounen protagonist and canonically stinky like Hina could do sm better. This is personal preference so I find myself wanting more chaotic/dumb protagonists who are slightly morally ambiguous like Denji, Gintoki, hell even Naruto at times. Takemitchy didn’t get character development until BD arc and that’s just a bit too long for me….
- Koko and Inui r gay and dating 💅🏻💅🏻💅🏻
- the Haitani brothers r the kardashians of the TR universe they’re so embarrassing Deadass show up and pose/do absolutely nothing I LOVE THEM SHKSKSKSK
- I love how it’s universally agreed that Mitsuya and Chifuyu r the best bois
- I have mixed feelings about Izana. I genuinely do like him and DESPISE how he’s whitewashed by fanart
- I get it u genuinely just wanted to not be alone and found out ur adopted in the worst way possible but…..idk how that justifies killing ur own sister but u do u ig 🤷‍♀️ and u have KAKUCHO AS UR FAMILY WTH
- don’t listen to me tho I’m a Mikey and Sanzu stan LMAOO 🤭🤭🤭
- Izana is the definition of mommy issues and 100% had crunchy hair lik mans was homeless
- if I saw Izana IRL I would RUN 🏃‍♀️idk he looks a lil crazy
- also this man does not know Tagalog he didn’t even know he was Filipino until he was lik 12
- idk the Tenjiku arc is so funny to me bc Izana is deadass: imma kill everyone in Mikey’s life for revenge and Mikey is lik: bruh I didn’t even kno u existed until last week and now ur killing our sister UNPROVOKED ???
- Bonten!Mikey is a virgin/no libido mans is DEPRESSED
- wished the Bonten arc was longer simply for the outfits bc Wakui KNOWS FASHION but that shit was DEPRESSION
- 3 Deities Arc was amazing and also funny/serious at the same time. It literally was an all out brawl in an AMUSEMENT PARK
- fr tho wtf was Benkei, Wakasa and Takeomi doing there??? Like they’re canonically 27 GO GET A JOB STOP FIGHTING 15 YEAR OLDS SHKSKSKS
- U cannot tell me that Sanzu WASNT sad when Baji and Mucho died.
- Baji was straight up his childhood friend and the only one other than Senju who knows about the plane incident/Mikey’s possessive side. And In the OG!timeline I’m pretty sure Baji was the only friend Sanzu DIDNT attack. While with Mucho he was pretty much his older brother, Sanzu just decided Mikey was better
- Tbh if the dark impulses/Shin thing wasn’t real I would’ve firmly believed Mikey had DID or something. Which again made only worse by the fact that violence and death is such a regular thing in his life (GET THIS MAN THERAPY LIK WTF IS SHIN AND GRANDPA SANO DOING???)
- Kazutora going a lil crazy is lowkey expected and I hate how we only find out about his home life in the character books. This kid grew up in a physically and mentally abusive household (gaslight to pick between parents and as s/o who has experienced that shit it’s fucked up) and I rlly don’t think prison helped out his mental stability either no shit he tried to kill Mikey
- I don’t ship Mikey and Takemichy (despite the IMMENSE gay ness btwn them) firmly bc I think everyone can see how much power Takemitchy has over Mikey idk it has a weird power dynamic like if Takemitchy tried he could 100% control Mikey (platonically or romantically)
- Baji, Chifuyu and Kazutora r a throuple
- I HATE how Sanzu is reduced to this crazy drug addict. Sanzu is canonically smart, manipulative, and formally trained fighter. He also REMEMBERS the OG timeline, he had to experience Shin dying twice and everyone else die no shit he’s a little bonkers/needs drugs to take everything away. Plus his relationship to Mikey which tbh is a whole separate post
- controversial !!!: I ship Mikey and Sanzu or Mikey and Draken. Sanzu only bc this man has a big ass crush and deserves some niceness for once
- ppl write Kakucho as this shy, nice guy like ur not wrong but mans is also running UNPROVOKED into Yakuza offices like it’s the gym while dragging Rindou wit him 😭😭😭
- the haitanis r the best sibling duo
- It lowkey makes me mad in fanfics where Ran is depicted as cheating w/Rin’s gf like??? This man raised his younger brother himself u cannot tell me he doesn’t love his brother and would actually do that to him
- Ran would 1000% do anything for Rin and i firmly believe he kinda regrets not saying anything in court to prevent Rindou frm joining him in jail. Like saying he forced Rindou to kill someone w/him, abusing his brother at home, etc especially in the Bonten! tl he def thinks about wtf he dragged his brother into
- I also don’t think they’ve slept w/ the same person before. Idk I feel like they have diff types like Ran goes for more motherly/mature types while Rindou goes for sweeter/shy types
- Draken has road rage
- Yuzuha should’ve been taller like AT LEAST 5’7 bitch is related to Hakkai and Taiju for gods sake
- OG BD 100% thought Wakasa was a girl for at least a month. He’s canonically 5’3 and pretty.
- Characters who r 100% bisexual: WAKASA, Senju,maybe Hina, Draken (def in denial), Rindou, Ran (he’s a whore as long as ur pretty he’s down), Sanzu, Koko, Kazutora, Chifuyu
- Mitsuya had a crush on Draken
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I just thought a dumb hc because I have insomnia and Tokyo Revengers is my roman empire.
Hear me out: I was thinking, what if Manila Izana (after Mikey dies) talked to Bonten Mikey?
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(look at them, they are deffinitly not okay! 😭)
They need each other for comfort! I guess I don't need to explain why Bonten Mikey needs to have a sibling alive, right? I always hc that Manila Izana actually loved Mikey. In a twisted way mixed with guilt and jealousy, but I'm sure he loved Mikey.
How couldn't he? When Mikey probably opened to him after Emma's death. It's canon that he was always happy to have more family. I can imagine him completly broken, unable to sleep. Calling Izana on the phone, long night talks. This Mikey trusted Izana more than he trusted Draken, I'm sure Izana comforted him after what happened to Emma (ouch, ouch and ouch). While Draken pushed Mikey away (not judging, just saying that Izana used this for his own purpose).
Manila Izana, looked at this young Manila Mikey that trusted him, that loved him like an older brother even if they just met...And he hated himself for this, because he was liying to him. About Emma, about them being siblings (he never told him what Karen said, scared of losing him). He was doing the same thing that Shinichiro did to him: liying about being brothers, pretending to be a good big brother when he isn't (this is Izana's mind, not my personal opinion on Shin, he did what he could for his age and well, being our dear reckles Shin xD)
So... Izana hated himself but he loved Mikey. He lied to himself about it too, 100% sure. He kept telling to everyone, to Kakucho, to Kisaki, that he's only using Manila Mikey. Sano siblings doing denial? That's also canon!
But after Manila Mikey dies, he lost it. He looked like he was spiraling when Naoto and Takemichi died, tbh. He realized how much he loved Mikey after losing him. And he lost his brother. Again. He's freaking spiraling.
Exactly with this Izana at this point, is where I hc this, because I need healing for coping! (so yes, that means Izana had to touch rock bottom for being open to healing first,I'm so sorry 😔)
Bonten Mikey telling to Izana that he loved him, even after knowing about Emma, knowing everything... He loved him. Izana has being death for more than a decade and this Mikey stills loves him.
Oh, and Izana's reaction finding out how he died? Finding out his friends. No, his family... Did that memorandum to him that was Bonten? That Kakucho had the hanafuda where his heart was? Izana is uggly sobbing at this point, we all know it.
Manila Izana telling to Bonten Mikey that he loves him? That he feels guilty for what he did? For killing Emma? For being a bad older brother with Manila Mikey? (He feels guilty as fuck, specially if he found out at some point that Manila Mikey wanted to die) Izana loves him and wants to be a better brother this time? Hell yeah, Mikey is also crying because he has family again! (and I'm ignoring some minor things like curses, this is happening in a neutral and cursed-cleaned space in my mind)
Edit: I think Bonten Mikey would help to Manila Izana with his guilt. Because he blames himself for the way Mikey ended and seeing that Bonten Mikey it's also broken and even less there... Well, not saying Izana didn't have responsability on Manila Mikey, but he would see that it wasn't only him.
That made me imaging Izana saying "Wtf happened in your timeline for you to end like this?" And I just laughed for not crying because... Well, Tenjiku happened and we're all living it 😭
Since curses and time-leaping exists, my new headcanon is that this two talked in dreams, or something. I don't know, time magic or some angsty cursed connection. I don't understand the logic, I'm not trying to understand it. I just need to think that some nights, this two comforted each other in dreams. 🥹🥹
@just-sp-in-inginthevoid feel absolutely and completly free to add to this brain riot. Anyone else is more than welcome to add to, please.
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izanaslvr-444 · 5 months
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that’s me fr.
credits to me for putting that picture of Izana in the middle 😝not the thing running around. idk who made that 😨
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rinwhore · 2 years
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Ryusei Satou
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chifuyusgangshirt · 2 years
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I gathered my thoughts:
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softshuji · 3 months
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You tell izana you're going to go shower while he's at work and poor boy accidentally imagines your body covered in wet soap suds for .5 of a second and suddenly and he can't concentrate for the rest of the day, and he feels so utterly irritated with himself, practically biting at everyone until at one point he just adjourns the whole damn day and just leaves cos he's so desperate to get home.
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iwanttofuckereh69 · 2 years
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Izana but punk (or rather goth tbh... i just feel like he'd be much more of a 🖤 lace and fishnets 🖤 type of guy)
Dedicated to my love @hornyimpulsivity 💕 ily and i hope ur happy with this Izana 🥺
check out my other tokrev-but-punk fanarts [HERE]
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social-mockingbird · 10 months
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sunlight eyes
(an Obiyuki Cowboy Bebop AU)
obiyuki bingo 2023, yeehaw! this is my first time participating, and I’m really excited to see all of the entries and post my own! this particular fic is based on the finale of cowboy bebop (with some changes, obviously) because apparently I like sadness. it was hilarious to see the similarities between the two shows: namely the existentialism and tendency towards poetic monologues, except it’s hopeful in AnS and sad in CBB. go figure. enjoy!
________
Zen’s eyes were dead before the rest of him was, and he was pointing a gun at her.
“You didn’t come because of the rain?” Her hands were in her pockets in a deliberate act of nonchalance. They were also the only part of her that was shaking.
“I was supposed to kill you,” Zen said, steady in his aim. “That day, if I had killed you, I would have been free.”
“So why didn’t you?” Shirayuki could feel her composure slipping. Zen’s eyes were so dark, devoid of anything human. Once they’d been brighter than the summer skies. She’d lain under their gaze and flown. “Why did you choose to be chased, Zen, it doesn’t make sense.”
“Why did you love me?”
“What?”
The gun was rattling. “Why did you love me?”
Shirayuki couldn’t breathe. She’d waited for him that day, waited and let herself cry, letting the thunder mingle with her sobs, and she’d wondered then if there had ever been any love in his eyes, or if it was just the thrill of illegality. She’d been poisoned by him. She’d fallen in love with an illusion, and now she was terrified of waking up.
Zen had put down his gun. His hands were on her shoulders. He was embracing her, fingers in her hair, breath on her neck. She couldn’t move a muscle.
“Let’s just run away somewhere,” Zen said in her ear, and his voice was warm on her skin. “Just the two of us. Escape this world—go where no one else is. Fly away with me, Shirayuki. Please. It’ll be like a dream.”
Something deep in Shirayuki’s chest snapped. She could feel her feet on the ground, solid on the wet gravel. She could feel how his hands were clenched behind her back, not touching her despite his loving embrace. He was almost falling into her, heavy, trapping her in place.
And yet, if she opened her mouth, she knew she’d say yes. ___
There was a time when the smoke would have bothered her lungs, when she would have hated the acrid taste on her tongue, when she would have stolen the smokes from her friends’ fingers and crushed them under her boots. Shirayuki had been a healer, and she’d believed in the sanctity of the body.
But now she breathed in the nicotine with a straight face, reveling in the calm it brought her thudding heart.
The year was 2071, and it was always raining. Someone poked her arm.
“Thinking too much, cowgirl?”
“Not thinking at all.” White hair in an arc of blood. Birds like reapers carrying his soul away in their wake. Blue eyes turning to glass.
“Then what’s that frown for?”
“Obi, stop.” Shirayuki dodged his prodding finger, almost stepping out from under the wing of the ship into the pouring rain.
It was raining then, too. Hazy like a nightmare.
In response, Obi slung a blanket over her shoulders. His hands were warm even through the fabric. He never could seem to lash back out at her. 
“You’ll catch a cold like that,” he said, grinning as Shirayuki fumbled with the blanket and draped it over her arms like a cape. “Mitsuhide’s making breakfast.”
“Eggs again?”
“It’s all we’ve got, so don’t complain,” Mitsuhide yelled from somewhere inside the ship. How he’d heard Shirayuki from that far was a mystery. Maybe he was running on autopilot.
Obi’s skin had the same greyish shadow as Shirayuki’s did in the overcast light, but there was still a rosy undertone to his face that hadn’t been there in a long time. She’d never admit it did her good to see some color in his cheeks. Obi had been fresh out of snark and sarcasm lately since his last impromptu trip, and it had bothered her more than she’d like to admit to see him looking so serious.
“I’m not going to leave again,” Obi said quietly.
“Huh?” Shirayuki turned, finally looking him in the eye. Gold was so different than blue.
“My memory came back.”
Shirayuki blinked. “I thought it wasn’t going to. Obi, you hit your head so hard.”
Blood on the pavement, blood on her hands. She’d screamed his name when he wouldn’t wake up. That day he’d promised to tell her where he was going every time he left—and for someone so secretive, he’d never broken that promise.
“Nothing good came of it,” Obi laughed, bitterness on his tongue. “There was nowhere for me to return to. Torou’s long gone. I can never be Nanaki again. This—you were the only thing I could return to.”
“Obi, wait—”
“Let me finish, please.” Obi, usually so deferent to her, was facing her with thunder in his eyes. Shirayuki closed her mouth.
“You’re leaving. I can see it in your eyes. That mess with Zen and with Izana is getting to you, and you’re going to leave, and knowing you, you’re going to do it when I can’t go after you.”
Shirayuki dropped the cigarette to the ground and crushed it under her boot to avoid looking at him.
“You’re going to do something hopelessly noble and horrifically stupid and I—Shirayuki, I can’t lose you.”
“You wouldn’t be losing me, Obi, I’m not going there to die.”
“Zen’s gone,” Obi said quietly. “Isn’t he?”
He was falling like a trapeze artist without a net, boots sliding on the rain-slick rooftop. She’d felt something tear in her throat when she screamed and she scraped her hands and knees when she fell beside him, cradling his body in her arms, hoping there was still light in his eyes, shaking him, praying. Why couldn’t she stop crying?
“Izana’s men killed him,” Shirayuki was able to say, wondering vaguely why her cheeks were wet. “I have to go after him. He can’t keep doing this to people, it’s not right. He killed his own brother because of me.” “This is…a dream?”
Zen pulled her close, blood-spattered hands clutching her lapels. He was so heavy in her arms.
She hated herself for lying to Obi. There was nothing noble about what she planned to do. Izana had killed Zen, and there was a hole in her heart that needed fixing.
His gaze was far away, and he was smiling, looking through her.
“Yeah,” she’d choked. “Just a dream.”
There was one other thing she couldn’t tell Obi. She prayed he couldn’t see it in her face.
“Food’s getting cold,” Mitsuhide shouted from inside, and Shirayuki got caught up in racing Obi for breakfast, glad she didn’t have to keep fielding his questions. There would be time enough to answer all of his questions if she was right. And if she wasn’t, well…he could find the answers on his own.
____
It was quiet on the ship when Shirayuki left her room. They were drifting gently through space, sleeping with the stars, and she took advantage of the silence, sneaking to the dock. The tiny exploration ship sagged a bit, but it would do.
She heard the click before Obi stepped out of the darkness, pointing his pistol at her.
“Where are you going?”
Shirayuki lifted her hands, pivoting to face him. She hadn’t noticed him in the shadows.
“Where are you going?” Obi repeated. He was close to her now, gun lowered to her belly. She knew it was just a way to get her to talk. He’d told her the day he boarded the Bebop that hurting her was never something he planned to do. She’d taken it as a joke then, but he’d kept his promise. Obi never seemed to break his word. Unlike her.
“You told me once,” Obi said, resting the gun gently against Shirayuki’s stomach, flicking the safety on, “that the past didn’t matter.”
“I don’t care what your real name is,” Shirayuki had grumbled, the softness of her hands contrasting with her sharp tone. “I don’t care what you did before. Can you just stop letting your past rule you? It doesn’t matter. In the end it’s just a stepping stone. And no one dwells on those.”
Obi looked at the girl bandaging his arm, feeling her warm fingers on his skin, and wondered why there were tears standing in her eyes.
Shirayuki nodded.
“Then why are you so tied to yours?” Obi had lowered the gun now, and was almost leaning into her space, nose inches from hers.
“I’m not,” she protested. “I have to go, Obi, please—”
Obi grabbed her arms, not hurting her, but keeping her in place. “I never thought I’d see the day you went for revenge, Shirayuki. If I know you, that’s not what this is, despite what you want me to think. Please don’t lie to me.”
Why had she loved Zen so much?
“You’re right, it’s not for revenge.” Shirayuki was desperate now. She could feel her heart beating, her pulse picking up, and it was getting harder to tamp down. “I have to go, Obi, I have to see if-if he really loved me and if I loved him and if it was worth it.” She broke his gaze and looked at her feet. “I have to see if he’s worth dying for.” Her voice was too shaky and quiet for her liking. “He decided I was and I want to return the favor.”
Obi felt cold. “You—that’s not something you repay, Shirayuki. Death doesn’t have to be life for life, especially when the person who died for you didn’t really love you in the first place.”
That’s what Obi wanted to say. He wanted to shake Shirayuki, wanted to tell her that she shouldn’t throw her life away. That Zen had loved the game of her hatred for Izana more than he’d loved her. That he’d loved defying Izana by being with her. That Zen died because Izana didn’t forgive betrayal, and his revenge was vicious. Obi knew enough after talking to Mitsuhide, and everything else he’d figured out on his own.
But he didn’t.
Obi instead put his hands on Shirayuki’s shoulders and pulled her into his arms.
Weightless on his feet, sunlight in his eyes. Obi was light in every sense of the word.
Shirayuki snaked her fingers around Obi’s waist, burying her face in his neck. It was all she could do. It hurt to hold him but she wasn’t letting go.
When he put his hands on her shoulders, she didn’t feel like she was being weighed down, only filled up. “This isn’t something you solve by dying,” Obi said in her ear. “You’re gonna carry that weight of feeling like you don’t understand and don’t deserve someone’s sacrifice, and that’s okay. He wanted you to live, Shirayuki—I want you to live.” Obi held her tighter. “And if that means carrying the weight with you, say the word. But please don’t go down this path. Don’t die for someone who doesn’t deserve you.”
Shirayuki stiffened and Obi was terrified she’d been offended.
“I’m not going there to die, Obi,” she said, almost too quietly for him to hear. She slid her hands up his back, over the planes of his shoulders. Obi shivered, just a little. “I’m going there to find out if I’m really alive.”
Obi leaned back and looked her in the eyes.
“Well, now, if that isn’t the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard,” he said, laughing a little, raising an eyebrow, and then Shirayuki was pulling him forward with her hands in his hair, and Obi couldn’t remember anything else he’d planned to say because Shirayuki’s mouth was the softest thing he’d ever tasted. She kissed him long and sweet, letting him hold her waist and press into her, and Obi tried his hardest not to think about how much this felt like a goodbye.
Shirayuki pulled back first, hands gentle on the back of Obi’s neck, a little dazed. She hadn’t really thought before kissing Obi and now she couldn’t think at all.
Why had she loved Zen?
Obi was leaning down, chasing her mouth, and she tilted up into him, closing her eyes. She felt tears on her cheeks and realized they weren’t hers, and her hands went to Obi’s face, cupped his jaw, wiped his tears with her thumbs. Zen kissed her like a guilty man and held her like a dragon.
Obi was oh-so-gently stroking her sides with his thumbs, and through his tears was able to smile into her mouth when it made her gasp.
Obi made her feel like she was flying, and like she’d have somewhere to land.
Obi said her name and ran a hand into her hair.
It was so hard to figure out why she’d loved Zen.
Resting her head on his shoulder, reveling in his warmth, Shirayuki felt safe and contented. It was so easy to love Obi. “I’ve never carried anything, Obi,” Shirayuki said, under her breath, half-hoping he couldn’t hear. “Not really. Not with you around.”
She hadn’t loved Zen. She couldn’t. Not really.
She was never meant to.
“Then don’t. Live with me.”
Shirayuki pressed her lips to his cheeks, one after the other, kissing away the still-present tears.
“I still have to fight Izana,” she told him, and Obi nodded once.
“Don’t you dare do it without me.”
____
The elevator door opened and Shirayuki charged out, red hair and a spray of bullets, and Izana’s men dropped like dolls onto the slick linoleum. The main doors opened when she slammed into them, driving her shoulder into the curving floral dragons that embossed the wood. The roof exploded. Shirayuki flung up her arms and dove for the ground, debris raining down on her from above. She could hear Izana’s footsteps on the great stairs at the front of the room. She stood and shook herself, ears ringing, as Izana descended under the newly revealed night sky.
“I told you before, Shirayuki,” Izana said, pulling two silver katanas from a sheath on his back, “Zen’s death meant yours was next.”
“And if I return the favor?”
Clack-clack-clack went her pistol as she reloaded it. Izana quirked a brow.
“Either way, Zen doomed you to die. This was your destiny from the beginning.”
“Zen’s death has nothing to do with me anymore.” Shirayuki took aim, closed an eye. “Let’s end it all.”
“As you wish.”
She moved before he did, boots clattering halfway up the stairwell, bullets clashing with Izana’s blades. Shirayuki swooped under, shooting a katana out of Izana’s hand as he swiped at her, slicing her thigh, her side. Izana’s hand came down on her gun as hers grasped the handle of his sword, and they were locked, arms shuddering as they fought for control.
“You don’t control me,” Shirayuki growled. “You never did.”
Izana stepped back suddenly, reclaiming his sword, pushing her gun back into her hands.
“Then show me.”
Izana’s sword was a silver arc spinning towards her gut, and Shirayuki fired, knowing she wouldn’t be able to get out of the way, watching the bullet gleam, dreamlike, watching it find the mark.
Izana fell.
His sword stopped inches from her stomach.
Obi was holding the blade of the katana in a gloved hand, turning it in the air, flinging it far. His fingers were cut and bleeding and they were both alive.
Izana coughed, once, and quit breathing.
Then Obi was wrapped around her and Shirayuki went limp in his arms. ____
The first rays of dawn made the courtyard blindingly bright. Izana’s men watched the figure stagger out from the wreckage, raising guns and swords.
Obi set Shirayuki down and kissed her cheek, lowering his stance, prepared to run. He was holding Izana’s swords. Shirayuki raised her arm, pointing at Izana’s men, fingers in the shape of a gun. The smile came easily to her face now. It was so easy to smile when there was nothing weighing you down.
“Bang.”
And they charged.
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@snowwhite-andtheknight
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