#i may be an actress but i can't fake how i feel | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

smoooothoperator · 2 years

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Fake It Till You Make It

November: Come What May

Driver! Pierre Gasly x Actress! OC (Anellise Flinch)

Fake Dating, Friends to Lovers

Summary: can they be away? Or will the memories come back until make it unbearable?

Words: 4.9k

Warnings: break up, panic attack

a/n: i know all of you hate me! But hey! Here we have a new chapter. I really hope you like it. I'll take some days off, to write the last chapter and get better because right now my head and throat are killing me, thank God I finished this before getting sick.

Italics are flashbacks

"What do you mean?" Pierre frowned looking at her.

The moment he walked inside the bedroom and saw her with the suitcase, he felt his heart beating fast. And when she said those words he felt anxious, nauseous.

"I have to leave" she sighed biting her lip. "I'll start recording a new movie soon and I'll be away so many months" she said, not daring to look at him.

"Okay" he nodded confused. "I get it. But why you said we needed to talk?"

"We have to break up" she said. "The deal. Is already done. I talked with Marina some days ago, before going to Como. We are done"

"What?" He frowned, not understanding anything. "But... What about the rumours? We had the deal to stop them"

"There are no rumours anymore" she said, trying to stay calm. She wants to stay, be with him. But is her dream, her job. "I'll stop following you on media, and our interactions will be less. Just to let you know"

He can't understand who is the person that is in front of him. Where is the sweet Annelise that gave him love gazes? The one that held him when he was feeling down? Why is she talking so... Coldly?

"Why are you doing this?" he frowned looking at her. "Why are you leaving me? I thought... I thought there was something between us. I thought it wasn't a deal anymore"

She looked at him and swallowed thickly. Yeah, there's something between them.

"Why are you being so selfish?" he mumbled looking at her, hurt.

"It's my dream, Pierre" she said. "I'll be away four months! I... I can barely be away from you a week without feeling my heart call for you. How do you think it will be for four months? I need to be focused"

"And you can be focused" he said taking ateos closer to her. "Lis, please... Don't do this"

"I'm sorry, Pierre" she whispered feeling her heart breaking slowly. "I have to leave"

"No, please. Don't leave like this!" He exclaimed holding her hands. "Just... Think about it please. Think about us"

Us. Is there something like that? Something real?

"Give me time" she whispered. "I... I need to be focused, this is my dream. I need to do it right, Pierre"

She didn't want to cry, but he's making it too difficult. The way he was looking at her, how he held her hands. How, with his body language, he's begging her to stay with him.

"If Christian Horner asked you to go back to RedBull you would give up everything to sign with them" she said with tears in her eyes.

"But I wouldn't give up the woman I love, Annelise!"

The woman he loves? Did she heard right? Does he loves her?

"I have to leave, Pierre" she whispered chocking on her own tears.

"Promise me to text me" he mumbled wiping away her tears. He never liked seeing her cry, neither of happiness or sadness. "Please, Lis"

She looked at him and hugged his waist, hiding her face on his chest, her body shaking with the sobs. He held her close to him, hoping that it made her stay. But the moment she took a step back, he knew.

"Goodbye, Pierre Gasly" she whispered wiping away her tears with the palm of her hand, breathing in deeply and trying to relax. "It was so beautiful being your girlfriend"

He didn't stop her. He saw how she grabbed her suitcase and walked away, leaving the keys of his house on the small plate next to the door, and without looking back at him she walked out.

The house smells like her, smells like that perfume he gifted her one day they were walking around the shops in Milan. It smells like caramel and vanilla. And it makes his stomach drop, wanting to throw up. Her rooms still has some things, that gave him hopes. Maybe she left them on purpose letting him know she will come back.

He can't believe it. He let her slip through his fingers.

Going to the airport was a torture. It made her remember the first time she saw him, leaning on his blue Honda and trying to act cool. And now she's leaving without him. She doesn't know if he will forgive her, if he will ever forgive what she did.

He loves her. He said that. He said she's the woman he loves. And instead of staying and saying she loves him back, she just walked away, leaving him on the room without looking back. Because she knows that if she looked back at him she would have stayed, wrapped her arms around him and kissed him.

But life is hard. Love is hard. And even if she felt like if she was on a fairytale with Pierre, she knew that it had to end soon. They were going to have only one month more, the thought of still dating after that never crossed their minds. But maybe after this, that was something that won't happen ever.

When Annelise sat on the plane she sighed, grabbing her laptop and closing her eyes when she saw the wallpaper of it. A picture of them during a festival on America. Her mind played tricks with her making the memories come back.

"I have to tell you something" Pierre said smiling.

They where on the hotel in New York, sitting on the couch while reading some books the bought on a bookstore on the street. The original plan was going to Central Park and reading there, but a sudden summer storm made it completely impossible.

"Oh? What is it" she smiled sitting comfortably on the couch.

"I booked two tickets for a festival" he said. "A lantern festival"

"No way! You remembered!" She exclaimed leaving the book on her lap, looking at him surprised.

When they played that game of 20 questions, she told him that one of her favourite movies is Tangled. How she always wanted to be the real Rapunzel and be on the live action movie, experience the same thing she lived while looking the lanterns.

"Of course" he laughed. "It will be in two days"

She looked at him with the brightest smile she ever gave him, moving to be on top of him and kiss his lips.

Two days after, they were already on a rented car, going to that place that is five hours away to just see the lights. It was a movie, they were on her favorite movie and she couldn't help but feel like a toddler. She was the happiest, and he was with her. They stopped on a small market to buy things for dinner, a lantern and a blanket to lay on it.

She couldn't believe it yet even when they turned on the lantern, holding it and looking at each other. When they let it go she hugged him, resting her head on his chest making him rest his chin on top of her head.

"Wait" he smiled kissing the top of her head, pulling away from the hug and walking to the married couple that gave them the lighter. "Can you take a picture of us, please?"

They smiled and stood up, the man grabbed Pierre's phone and took pictures of them while the woman stood next to her husband, a big smile on her lips while looking at the pictures.

"You two look so lovely together" she smiled.

"Thank you" Annelise smiled at her, her heart getting warm by her words.

She swallowed hard, those memories hurting her. Did she make the right decision? Of course not. She loves him. But is the best for both of them.

He hated feeling that way. He hated walking in front of her room and opening the door all the times he walked on its way and look at ber things. It has been nearly two weeks. Two weeks with no answers, no news. He has no idea where is she right now, where is she recording. He tried to be like one of those fans that goes to the deepest wen and search information about the movie.

But the moment he realized he was acting like a freak he stopped. She asked him for time. He has to give her that, right? It's her dream, think about someone else will make it more difficult, right?

But he loves her! He told her he loves her! Why she didn't stayed? Maybe he wasn't clear enough, maybe he didn't say it out loud.

Brazil was hard. He tried to act like if everything was fine. Like if they were still being an item.

"Why did Annelise stop following you?" some media interviewrs asked him on his way to the paddock. "Why she's not here"

"Her account was hacked" he lied. "She's filming a new project" he excised himself, walking away and pressing his ID card on the scanner.

He tried to look happy, at least smiley, even if deep inside he was questioning everything. He didn't say it loud enough. Hs not enough for her.

"Hey, Pierre!" Charles smiled looking at him, but frowned the moment he saw his fake smile. "Oh, what happened?"

"Hm? No, nothing" he said, brushing out the topic. "Just tired. Jet lag, you know"

"Then it's not about why Annelise stopped following you on Instagram?" he said rising an eyebrow. "Come on, you can tell me"

He looked at the Ferrari driver and took a deep breath, swallowing thickly and licking his lips.

"She left" he said making sure no one was around. "She left because of work. The deal is broken, whatever we had is broken"

Charles looked at the Frenchman and sighed, patting his back and giving him a sad smile.

"You and I know it's not broken" he sighed.

"Really? Is not? Because I think she left it clear leaving me and not looking back" he groaned. "I want to be mad. I really want to get all the things she left on my house and burn them, or throw them away. But I can't! Because I love her so damn much that it hurts. The other day I went to her room to grab a thing I needed and it still smells like her".

Charles sighed looking at him. The time they were together, even if it was fake, they spent time the three of them. Sometimes they even had double dates on Milan or Monaco. And somehow he felt how much she loved him too. But when Pierre told him that she left, it left him confused. Maybe everything was an act?

"If you don't talk to her you won't know what is going on in her mind" Charles frowned.

Pierre sighed, looking how his friend walked inside the red building. He tried to talk with her, but everytime he goes to the chat the share, he doesn't know what to write. That he misses her? Well, it's true. When will she come back? He doesn't want to put pressure on her, he knows she wants to focus. Does she love him as much as he does? He write that every hour of every day, but deletes it before sending it, leaving the chat with no new messages.

He wants to go a month back, right when their bond was the best. He wants to go back to when they spent days together on his apartment or when they went around places to explote. He wants to live on those days everything was perfect and he could love her.

She was asleep next to him, her golden hair was spread all over his arm while her head was on his chest. She looks like an angel, he thought.

Last night he came from an sponosor event, and when he walked inside his room he found her sleeping on his bed with one of his shirts. He smiled softly, taking off his clothes and sitting on the bed next to her, laying slowly and wrapping his arm around her.

"Hm? Pierre?" she mumbled opening her eyes slowly, snuggling closer to him.

"I'm sorry I came late, the event was longer than I thought" he whisper covering themselves with the blanket, kissing her forehead and holding her closer.

"It's okay" she jawned, leaning on him and relaxing on his arms, falling asleep again.

Everytime they shared a bed he fell more for her, holding her, knowing their hearts were beating at the same time, same speed. How her breath dtickled his chest, how her scent was all the breathed at night, making his nostrils memorize that perfume of roses, caramel, popcorn and vanilla. It become his new favorite scent.

When the light of the dah started to bright the room he was the first to wake up, hugging her tighter making her wake up too. They spent some minutes there, holding each other on the bed and breathing deeply, looking out of the window.

"It seems that it will rain soon" she whispered rubbing her eyes with her fingers. "The sky is ugly grey"

"Yeah, I read about it yesterday" Pierre whispered playing with her hair.

"You know what it means?" she smiled looking up at him with a smile. "Stay at home and do things together"

He laughed at that, hugging her with both of his arms and kissing her head while she giggled.

Days together were their favorite, doing absolutely nothing but at the same time a lot. They spent the day reading, or making cookies. While he played on the simulator of his office she lated on the floor surrounded by cushions and with her legs on the glass, reading the new book she bought, one she already read not long ago but got it on Italian so she could learn more than she already knows. When Pierre finished his lap he went towards her, laying next to her on the same position.

"What are you reading?" He asked her, letting her rest her head on his arm.

"Normal People" she smiled looking at him, pecking his lips. "Can I try the simulator?"

"Of course" she smiled, letting her sit and get up before him.

He adjusted the seat and settings for her, searching an easy track where she could race. The moment she grabbed the wheel and started to drive he was impressed, how easy she made it.

"Oh god, this is so funny!" she exclaimed, looking how she overtook some cars.

He looked at her, falling more and more, seeing how she drove with a big smile on her lips and not taking her eyes out of the screen, how the tip of her tongue was trapped between her teeth. Everything of her is perfect. She is perfect for him. He can't wait to tell her his feeling. But, when?

It hurts. It hurts so much knowing that she's on his mind all the time and he can't have her in front of him. It hurts how his mind is laughing at him for falling for her, showing him all those memories and torturing him. It hurts.

She looked at the cars on her screen, her eyes going to the table at the left of it, searching his initials.

She tried to stay away from him. But the fact that she's still wearing the necklace that matches with his, and wears the perfume he gifted her it makes her impossible to not think about him. Her heart aches for him, and she hates it.

"You okay?" Timothée asked her, sitting on the chair next to hers.

"Yeah. Just... Watching him" she sighed, her heart beating faster when the cameras were following his car during his lap.

"Your boyfriend?" her cast mate asked and friend asked her. "Pierre Gasly?"

"Yeah..." she sighed. "Tim, I miss him so damn much. I regret everything I did"

When the whole cast was reunited to record the film, Annelise and Timothée spent most of the time together, as well as Zendaya did with them. The three of them were together most of the time, and when she couldn't hold it anymore, she told them everything she was carrying on her heart. How she regrets leaving Pierre, hoe much she loves and misses him. And they were there for her, to keep her company and make sure she felt supported. Because being away from a loved one is hard, everyone knows it. And she's not the exception.

"Why don't you call him, Anne?" he sighed looking at her, watching the screen of her phone too.

"He hates me, I left him" she mumbled.

If only she knew...

"I'm sure he doesn't" he said wrapping an arm around her to comfort her.

They were recording on the dessert of Abu Dhabi. She was so close and at the same time so far from him. He doesn't know she's there, and it will be better if it stays like that. She didn't have to film on this place, but didn't want to be alone, so she travelled with all the team, going to all the places and helping with everything she could do.

That day was a hot day, and the fact that she knew that Pierre was on the same place, if made her more unfocused. She was on her own world, looking at his practices, cheering silently for him. The day was going great, at the moment.

The make up artist called her because they needed her to check a new make up and hair style, making her stop watching and go to the traiker were the team was.

"I think that for your own health and with all the heat here, it will the best if we cut your hair instead of using the wig, what do you think?" the hair stylist proposed her with a smile.

"Oh... Okay" she nodded, feeling her heart beat fast. They were going to cut her hair, the hair Pierre loved to play with.

She sat there, letting them do their thing, not noticing the necklace breaking after a rough movement of the hair artist when the robe got stuck on it. Less than an hour passed and her hair was done, cut over her shoulders.

"You look so beautiful" Zendaya smiled hugging her.

"He liked my hair" she mumbled touching it, how straight it was and ended on her shoulders.

After that she went to her trailer, getting ready to have a shower and take off all the sample hair that was on her back, itching a little. She got undressed after opening the water key, sigheknd while looking at her hair in the mirror.

And then her eyes fell on her chest. They nacklace is not there anymore.

"No, no, no, no, no" she mumbled looking around anxious.

She can lose her long hair, but not the necklace. Not his necklace.

She wrapped her body with the robe and walked around the trailer, searching for the necklace. She looked between the chusions of the couch, on her bed, on all her clothes, on the floor under the table, on her bag. But she couldn't find it. And it made her panic more.

She walked out of the trailer, her eyes scanning all the place. The floor, all the places she was on that day. The chair where she sat with Timothée, where she huddled Zendaya after she finished filming a scene, on the catering zone under the table, on the othing trailer. Then she went to the hair and make up trailer, the last place she was in.

"Sarah... Please tell you found a necklace here while cleaning" she said with tears in her eyes.

"Oh?" The brunette woman frowned looking at her. "Yeah, I think I did".

Annelise felt how a weight left her shoulders, but the moment when the hairdresser turned around and showed her the broken necklace.

"Is it yours?" the woman asked her and she swallowed thickly while nodding. "Oh... The chain is broken"

Annelise looked at it, feeling how her chest started to ache. It's broken. The necklace is broken.

They were walking around Tokyo, the neon light shining on the night. Yuki asked them to join him for dinner on one of his favorite restaurants, so they were making their own way to meet the young driver.

"Oh, look!" Annelise smiled, holding his hand and pushing him with her to one of the small tables that was outside a small store.

It was a jewelry store, with small things. Rings, necklaces, bracelets, earrings. She looked at all of them carefully with a smile on her lips.

"Oh, hi" the woman smiled making a bow, talking with a perfect English, making Annelise and Pierre smile relieved and look at the woman.

"Hi" Pierre and Annelise smiled giving the woman a bow too.

"Did something catch your eyes?" the woman asked with a smile, looking at them.

Pierre smiled, scanning his eyes all over the table until he saw two necklaces. One was golden and other silver, the golden one bad a 'P' on it and the silver one an 'A' on it. It was a section with initials, but the cat that those two letters were together made him smile.

"How much for those two?" he said pouting with his finger to the necklaces.

"2000 yen" she smiled looking at the couple.

"Then I want them" Pierre smiled, grabbing his wallet and two bills of 1000 yen, handing them to the woman.

Annelise was looking at him blushing. Did he really bought a couple necklace?

"Here" Pierre smiled, grabbing the golden necklace and putting it around her back, clipping it on her nape. "See? You look better with golden jewelry" he said winking at her.

"Are you okay, Annelise?" the hairdresser asked her frowning.

She just nodded, holding the necklace on her chest and walking out of the trailer. On her way to her personal trailer she bumped into Timothée, but since she was looki g stt he floor hiding her tears, she didn't notice him.

"Annelise?" the man frowned following her with his eyes, and when he saw that she locked herself on the trailer, he knew something was wrong.

He frowned walking towards the door knocking on it softly. Zendaya showed up, and when she saw the frown on her friend's face she knew something happened with Annelise.

"Anne... open the door, sweety" Zendaya sighed knocking on it, talking softly. But when they heard sobs coming from inside their worry grew more.

She felt stupid, crying over a necklace. But it wasn't a simple necklace. It was the nacklace with his initial, the 'P' engraved on it. It was the necklace that stayed on her chest, close to her heart, for the last month. She never took it out, and when she had to do that, she always tried to wear it until the last moment before recording a new scene. It was a way of having him with her, of having Pierre near her heart.

But now it's gone. He's gone. And it was because her fault, because she walked away. She should have asked him to keep the relationship, to forget about the deal and keep dating. But all she did was think about a dream. But what is a dream if you are not enjoying it with your lived ones, sharing the experience.

She heard the knocks on the door, and standingnuo while cleaning the tears out of her face, she ooened it, letting her friends walk in and wrap his arms around her.

"What happened, An?" He asked her.

"The necklace" she whispered showing them the golden chain broken.

Zendaya looked carefully at it and sighed. They are done with her suffering. It's not fair seeing her on this state and not doing anything for her.

"Tell me what you need" Timothée whispered cupping the cheeks of his friend and wiping away her tears. "Tell us what do you need and we will be there to make it, okay? It hurts seeing you so sad"

She looked at her two friends. It makes her happy have them there, supporting her. But they are not what she needs right now.

"She needs him" Zendaya whispered, looking how Annelise closed her hand around the necklace and placing her fist on her chest.

He finished the second practice and media duties quicker thank he expected, all being so smooth and congratulating him for a nice finish on P7.

His day was going good, but the moment he walked inside his room on the hospitality after taking a shkeer and saw three missed calls he frowned. And when he saw who called he panicked.

It was her. She called him. Three times. And he wasn't there.

So he called back immediately. The tones made his heart beat fast and breath get faster, heavy

"Pierre?" someone talked at the other side. That's not Annelise.

"Who are you?" he frowned, looking to a fix spot on the wall.

"I... I'm Timothée, Annelise's cast mate" the voice said and Pierre sighed. Timothée Chalamet, the lead of the movie she's recording, Dune.

"Oh... why are you calling?" He sighed closing his eyes.

"She needs you" the other man said, making Pierre open his eyes quickly and frown. "Look. She has been miserable all this recent days and we can't handle anymore. But today happened something that really made her have a breakdown, and we don't know anything else to do".

He didn't say anything, all the information getting inside his brain, processing it slowly.

"I know you might feel like this or worse... But please, if you love her, if you really do, come to her" Timothée begged.

Pierre frowned getting up from the couch. He doesn't even know what to do. What he can do? He doesn't know where she is, how is she. Does she know her friends are calling him with her phone?

"We are in Abu Dhabi too" Timothée said quckly, making Pierre stop breathing.

Too? How does he know he is in Abu Dhabi?

"She was watching all your races, Pierre..." he sighed. "We finished our recording day and are heading to the hotel"

"Where is it? I'll be there" he said quickly, holding the phone on his ear with his shoulder while he packed all his things inside the backpack.

Timothée told him in which hotel they were staying and Pierre made his way out of the hospitality, bumping into Charles.

"Hey, mate" Charles laughed looking at him. "Why the rush?"

"I found her" he said quickly, hugging him. "I found her!"

He left Charles looking at him confused, but the moment he started run through the paddock, the Monegasque smiled proud.

He went to his car, ignoring as much fans as he could, and drove out of the parking lot. He asked Siri to guide him to the hotel she was staying and when he found it he parked the car quickly, not caring if he locked it or not.

He ran issude the hotel, not looking around to check the interior design, and went to the elevator pressing the button of the floor where she was. He looked at the mirror, fixing his hair with his shaking hands. He took a quick shower but couldn't fix his hair, making it look messy. But that's nothing compared of how messy his heart is beating inside his chest.

He walked slowly, feeling his heartbeat on his ears, and tried to calm himself before knocking on the door. He did it three times, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath.

It's not the first time he sees her having a panic attack, so he knows that what she needs right now is someone calmed.

It was 3 a.m and he felt the bed empty when he turned around. It was weird. She always slept like a baby next to him.

Pierre got up, rubbing his eyes with the palm of his hand and walked around the apartment searching her, and when he saw the light of the kitchen on he walked inside of it. What he didn't expect was finding her on the floor, curled on herself and shaking.

"Lis?" he frowned kneeling in front of her. "Hey, are you okay?"

"I fucked up" she whispered. "I fucked up so bad"

"What? What happened?" he whispered holding her hands.

"I was doing the interview, the one I told you I was going to do at night because it was for an American show" she whispered, her voice shaking.

"Now it make sense why you look so beautiful" he smiled looking at her, hoping to make her smile, and holding her making her sit on his lap.

"I just talked about the bad relationship with Olivia" she mumbled, chocking on her own sobs and not being able to breathe well. "I... Fuck, I told everyone how bad she was with me, with everyone"

"Hey" he whispered cupping her cheeks and making her look at me. "Breathe with me, okay? Then you can tell me everything that happened"

She looked at him with panic on her eyes and nodded. Pierre placed her hands on his bare chest, holding them there with his own hands on top of hers, and started to breathe in slowly through his nose while looking into her eyes. She imitated him, or at least she tried at first. And when she got it, she closed her eyes and rested her head on his neck, hugging him close.

"I don't know what I would do without you Pierre" she whispered, her breath brushing his bare chest making him shiver.

He saw how the door opened slowly, a tall brunette woman he recognized looked at him.

"Pierre" Zendaya smiled looking at him. "Thank you, really. She really needs you"

Pierre nodded, walking inside the room and sighing when he saw her there, laying on the bed while hugging a pillow like she used to hug him.

"I'll leave you two alone, okay?" Zendaya smiled walking towards Annelise, kissing her temple and looking up at Pierre.

He didn't see Zendaya closing the door, his eyes are only for her. For the woman she loves.

Pierre walked slowly towards the bed, laying on it and taking off the pillow. He observed her with attentive eyes. Her hair is short, lips dry because of the sun and cheeks wet. Her left hand was on a fist, holding something close to her chest

"I'm here" he whispered, holding her close. "I'm here, my love. I won't leave, okay?"

"Pierre?" she whispered opening her eyes slowly, more tears showing on her eyes. "Tell me this is not a dream... Please tell me you are real"

"I'm real" he whispered wiping away her tears, kissing her forehead. "I'm going to stay with you, okay? Forever"

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253 notes · View notes

fictional-love-is-my-life · 4 months

Note

May I get headcanons for hotrod, Bee, and Dino having a actor s/o who does lots of romance movies where they are required to get very close to their co-star. How would they react to seeing their s/o on the big screen intimatly with another person?

Hot Rod:

He was quite uncomfortable with it and voiced his concerns early on. However, his S/O reassured him they had no feelings for their costar and that they only loved him. He felt a huge wave of relief after their conversation.

He continued to go to set with them. Just so he could show off his love with his S/O. As soon as his S/O was finished with filming, he would sweep them into his arms and smooch them lovingly, showing everyone in the room that they were an item.

He would also continually send gifts to his S/O's trailer. One because he loves sending gifts and making them happy, but two he was also being a little petty and ensuring that all their costars knew they would always be together.

He still finds it a little hard to watch their movies, just because he doesn't like seeing his S/O being intimate with another. But he just holds his S/O's hand during those scenes. As long as they spent their time with him, he could get over it.

Bumblebee:

He was very excited about them being an actor. He is happy they got their dream job and he enjoys dating someone famous.

At first, he was very uncomfortable and quite insecure about it. He was often worried that they might get too close and that he would lose them. Sometimes he would grow quiet and not want to talk after they came home because he knew they were probably getting romantic with their costar earlier that day.

It took some coercing, but he eventually confessed how he felt, and how he didn't like it. His S/O kissed him and reassured him, that he was the only one they loved. They had a long and meaningful talk. Afterward, he felt much better and didn't care about it as much.

At the end of the day, his S/O went home to him, they loved him. So he no longer cared about what happened in the film, because he knew it wasn't real. But their love for each other was.

Dino:

He was banned from the set. He kept disturbing the scene, making it really hard to film. So he was banned from being present during filming.

He's very open about his dislike for it. He is fine with his S/O being an actor/actress, but he wants them to stop being in romance movies. It makes him feel uncomfortable.

Logically, he knows it is fake. But he hates the idea of someone else touching his S/O and getting close to them, so he wants them to stop.

As long as they continue to do it, he will pout about it. But he can't force them to stop. Instead, he just tries to be extra flirty and extra hands-on, wanting to show his S/O that he is the one who loves them the most, and he is the one who will love them the best.

#ask #transformers #hot rod #bumblebee #dino

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bittertomato · 4 months

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A lil late but happy new year!

Characters under the cut, plus some fun facts

Tomato's faves for each month of 2023

January: Diana Cavendish (Little With Academia)

February: Diana Cavendish (Little Witch Academia)

March: True Rider — Hippolyta (Fate/Strange Fake)

April: Psyche Callista (Your Throne)

May: Misaka Mikoto (A Certain Scientific Railgun)

June: Misaka Mikoto (A Certain Scientific Railgun)

July: Morgan (Fate/Grand Order)

August: Morgan (Fate/Grand Order)

September: Morgan (Fate/Grand Order)

October: Morgan (Fate/Grand Order)

November: Morgan (Fate/Grand Order)

December: Morgan (Fate/Grand Order)

Brainrot of the Year 2023: Morgan (Fate/Grand Order)

Hall of Fame (aka brainrots of years past)

2023: Morgan (Fate/Grand Order)

2022: Tsuruhime Yachiyo (Shoujo Kageki Revue Starlight: ReLive)

2021: Tsuruhime Yachiyo and Yumeoji Shiori (Shoujo Kageki Revue Starlight: ReLive)

2020: Yumeoji Shiori (Shoujo Kageki Revue Starlight: ReLive)

2019: Tendou Maya (Shoujo Kageki Revue Starlight: ReLive)

2017 & 2018: Diana Cavendish (Little Witch Academia)

2016: Carmilla Karnstein (Carmilla the Webseries), Elsa (Frozen), Tohsaka Rin (Fate/stay night), and Misaka Mikoto (A Certain Scientific Railgun)

2015: Carmilla Karnstein + Laura Hollis aka Hollstein (Carmilla the Webseries) aka my gay awakening

2014: Elsa (Frozen)

2012 & 2013: Higurashi Kagome (Inuyasha), Kuchiki Rukia (Bleach), Mouri Ran (Detective Conan), and Chiba Mamoru (Sailor Moon)

2011: Chiba Mamoru (Sailor Moon)

2009 & 2010: Kuchiki Rukia (Bleach)

Pre-2009: Who knows? My memory sure doesn't!

And I promised fun facts, so...

The early days...

The reason I can date my first fave to Rukia in 2009 is because that was when I made a Fanfiction.net account and posted my first fanfic. Don't read it I was young and foolish.

Bleach, Inuyasha, and Sailor Moon were my first animes. The first two I definitely watched on Adult Swim back when I still watched cable.

I used to be pretty skilled at self defense and even have a first degree black belt. One of the reasons why Ran from Detective Conan really left an impression on me.

There's a few unnamed faves that I also had from more obscure anime that were from so long ago that I can't pinpoint the exact years. A special shoutout to Asuka from Ask Dr. Rin! This show is in no way affiliated with Tohsaka Rin lol.

And yes, I do have male faves besides Mamoru! I love Hak and his constipated repressed feelings for Yona (Akatsuki no Yona) and my in-game name in FGO is inspired by Kurogane (Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles). And for whatever reason, Fred is my favorite from Scooby Doo.

Honestly, I have to give Elsa some credit. I think she started the trend of my faves being "blonde/light haired "regal" rich/well off BAMF ladies who seem cold and distant on the surface but are actually dorks over-burdened and forced to grow up too fast, with a dash (or a ton) of family angst dumped on them." I mean, do you see any of my past faves being blonde? xD

The college days...

I was in denial about being queer and swore I was straight until I somehow found Carmilla the Webseries (I don't even know how) during the summer of 2015 and had a multi-step process of acceptance that went something like "Oh the actress for Laura Hollis is hot. Oh the actress for Carmilla is cute, pretty, and a huge dork. Oh everyone is pretty attractive. Wait mostly just the girls. Wait is that why I don't give a shit about men?"

Little Witch Academia is not only the first series where I published fanfic on AO3, but it's also the series that got me to write AND finish longer stories. So congrats, Diana! I really wanted to angst you :D It's also the fandom where I found my closer Discord friends. Love y'all, mwah.

I think Revue Starlight might be the series that squeezed the most faves out of me. It holds a special place in my heart for numerous reasons, but the main one might be the collab fic I worked on with Quill, who is now my partner 😊So thanks, ReLive even if your gacha game is somehow even worse than FGO.

That said, the series I seem to always go back to seem to be the To aru and Fate franchises. Maybe it's because they're still ongoing.

Those two are also the reason I started messaging Quill back in the day, so they hold an extra special place in my heart. Even with all their flaws.

And then Lostbelt 6 hit FGO and blew everything out of the water. I rave about Morgan a lot but that chapter of the game truly had a stellar cast. Nasu wanted us to remember that he can cook lol.

Where is my Lostbelt 6 anime, Aniplex?

#tomato rambles #why is the riyo april fools art #the only canon derp pic of her #this woman really does only have one expression #and it's :|#oh geez the fun facts got long #this truly was a ramble for once #not tagging all the characters since this is a personal post

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captainrikerr5 · 5 months

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Today, one of my favorite artists is turning 28 years old! I'm quite obsessed with Laura and her immense talent. She is one of the nicest people in the world and deserves all the love she receives every day!

If you are looking for a new artist, check out her debut album, I May Be An Actress, But I Can't Fake How I Feel!

#lauramarano #laura marano #IMBAABICFHIF #debut album #happy birthday laura marano #independent artist #laura marano edit #my edit

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destinyc1020 · 10 months

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Confessions: as hard as Sydney n her team work, I dnt think she'll ever b an "IT gurl" in the way Z and Florence Pugh are. She has already has too many "controveries" in regards to how she responded to her MAGA family, the financial "struggles" statement she sajd wen she allegedly purchased a 3 million house, and the whole fake cheating scandal with her coworker for a movie that hasnt even come out. For how much she pays her team, they nt workin hard enough imo 😭 i think they trying to hav her b a fashion gurl too, bt i feel lik her stylist continuously misses with her. She is a talented actress and seems nice, bt i feel lik its a lot more to it than that (for being an "it girl")

Thanks for your confession Anon 😊

I don't really follow Sydney like that, and I've never watched any of her projects before, so I can't really speak to her acting skills or popularity w/ the general public. 🤷🏾‍♀️

All I'll say is, don't underestimate the power of white skin in this country rofl. She may have said and done some side-eye-worthy things in the past, but I've seen others say and do WORSE and they STILL got a pass and were able to clean up their image and get massive fame in Hollywood, whereas a poc wouldn't necessarily get that grace. 👀

With that said, based on what I've seen so far, I don't see her being an "It Girl" in Hollywood either unless her team really pushes it.

I think you're right. Zendaya and Florence are on a totally different level than Sydney is. Some ppl just have that "it" factor, and others, well... just don't! 🤷🏾‍♀️

I'll see how her romantic comedy with Glen goes.... She might get more exposure from that film if it does really well, and ppl really like it. 🤷🏾‍♀️

#confession corner #Confession Corner Sunday

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sm-writes-chaos · 8 months

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Yes I wanna hear about your OC's.

I want the whole infodump.

Oh boy where to start???

my oc's my oc's my lovely oc's! I will gladly lay it on you!

I really really really wanna talk about TWUECUD so I am going to do that because I don't know how this information is gonna get out otherwise. these character may never have a home outside my notebook so you may as well know their story!

First up first up I must rant about the actual story itself. know how it came to be? Just try to guess I bet ya can't

I had an appointment at the hair salon (my first!) and I was priming myself to hear some juicy gossip (just like the movies!) And lo and behold I was rewarded my two girls who I think were dating were gossiping about their friends! They were talking about a Gage and Nicole and that's how those two characters came to be. The way those girls were talking about Nicole I gathered that they didn't like her so I made her the sort of villain. And they called Gage 'Hubby material' so I made him a sweetheart. After the appointment I quickly made a note of everything I'd heard and soon a teen parody show was forming in my head. I soon came up with the rest of the cast.

ummmmm this is gonna be so long I apologize feel free to not read any of it I wouldn't blame you

Anyways lets begin... with Nicole! (I swear this is just a slice of life about silly college students I swear its not this depressing, but gotta add trauma am I right?)

Nicole was a sheltered child, and the only thing she really knew was a sitcom about college life. She wanted her life to be as cool and perfect as the characters in the show were so as soon as she went to college she was determined to have her life be just like her favorite show. Tylee looked like the villain in her show and she wanted to be a Hollywood actress just like Nicole, so she dubbed Tylee her rival. Nicole get's caught up in childish things because of her sheltered childhood, like pretending to be a spy. She got teased and bullied a lot because of that at her last college, and Nicole's short temper caused her to get into fights until she was expelled.

Tylee may be the bubbliest happiest person you'll ever meet, but shes got demons that she doesn't want to believe exist. Her excitable nature causes a lot of people to be turned off from her. Tylee tries to be friendly but she doesn't understand why everyone ignores her, why they groan when she comes running, or why they never smile when shes around. She would probably start trying to hold herself back if not for having patient friends like Alison and Gage.

Speaking of Alison..she has a curse. It's more of a family trait so she doesn't see it as a curse, but it definitely is. A dark shadow that covers her black eyes. Her family is not big on smiling and plants around her house always wither. She comes from a wealthy family and legends say that the curse comes from a sacrifice an ancestor made long ago to become that wealthy... I just made that up right now I don't actually know where it comes from I haven't expanded on it much.

Mikal..Mikal Mikal Mikal...where do I even start with him. Hes an inventor, hes a prankster, hes the mom friend no matter how much he tries to deny it. Growing up his father was obsessed with training him to be a proper man. He'd always comment on his long hair, his baggy clothes, and how he didn't have a girlfriend yet. But Mikal didn't want a girlfriend. One day he met this girl who he instantly became great friends with. A while later at a party they nearly kissed, believing it was the next step because that's what their parents always told them. They had a truce and maybe even pretended to fake date to make their parents happy. One day she had to move far away though, so before she left she gave Mikal her red hair tie, and hes kept it close ever since. Now stemming from his disgust at dating women and being intimate with anyone, hes become obsessed with never having children. He sees them as something inevitable that everyone has to deal with, when in reality poor Mikal is just asexual.

Vishal Vishal I love Vishal. Hes a little sweetheart (alongside Gage) hes a little blorbo hes just a little guy aw hes so- I'm gonna stop there. He had a very sheltered childhood (I like to do that don't I?). His father had a company that wasn't very successful until when he was in middle school his fathers business was suddenly booming! He was plucked right out of the middle of class and set up with private tutors. He lived a very extravagant life from then on because his parents assumed that's what rich people do. Hardly knowing anything about the real world he wanted to go to a real college instead of having tutors anymore. Hes just a little innocent guy. Hes studying to start a business of his own and only wears suits, but he really just loves to draw and create art!

I have to go to bed now so I'll cap it at that but if you ever wanna hear more go right ahead I love to talk! theres still so many to talk about (gage,jee, people not in twuecud like norah alphair and rufus)

thank you so so much for the ask it's much appreciated!

lemmie know if you want me to continue tommorow!

#ask #twuecud #writeblr #infodump

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lindszeppelin · 2 months

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i honestly think it's mostly hilarious that kaia decided to go to the afterparty but also a little but smart. (even though it may seem dumb) she's surrounding herself with actually talented people: austin, ayo, insert name of any other super talented actor she hangs with. it makes her seem like she has real talent to others, who may be very high up, in the room who otherwise don't recognize her past looking like a washed up supermodel. but it's mostly hilarious bc shippers/her fans will scream her praises about her supportive of a friend she is to ayo(or supportive gf), but if she really was supporting why not go to the award ceremony as well? why just party?(i have my theories)i also don't buy that ayo really likes her, seems like more of a networking thing for the both of them(sensing a pattern here, yes?), but i could be wrong.

i feel, as the majority of us do as well, that the relationship between austin and kaia is weighing on them both. they both are seemingly unhappy around each other and in need of being heavily intoxicated just to enjoy the night together. i mean, we've all seen the candids, the pap pics, and videos of them out and about and they NEVER look happy unless it's at some event where they can't hide how miserable they are! it's really such a tragedy for the both of them. i feel like if this relationship was really built off of love and care, rather than the need to climb a social ladder and good pr, then they might've truly been a great couple with great chemistry. however, this pr shit is ruining it for them.

i get what you mean but in my humble opinion there are better ways to network and have it not come across as try hard or fake. and you're right, i've thought that too about her friendship with ayo. ayo is clearly the most successful out of those actresses from Bottoms, and she was doing her own thing on The Bear before Bottoms. But it's so painfully obvious that kaia is just ass kissing to these people, schmoozing, and rubbing elbows only for the opportunities and press she gets from association to them. I don't respect anybody for using others to get a leg up in their career. and that's what she does. she uses austin for these clout chasing games and i will never respect her for that. or anything really.

these two have looked miserable and she has never respected his privacy that he wants so badly. she on the other hand loves the press. she should just find a guy or woman to date that also loves the press and PR-ness of it all and let Austin go. because at the end of the day there's only so much that one can take in a loveless situationship if someone better for both of them could take their places.

#lindsay's anon asks

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rainbowsky · 2 years

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1. Thank you being so informative.. analytic blogger. I love your writing.

2. Have you written a fan fiction? If yes, I would love to read.

3. This girl in my class is a shipping gg with an actress of one of his drama. Today we had a little talk and she said there’s no difference between turtles and other shippers of famous people. Only difference is that turtles haven’t seen their cp together for 3 years. It hurts a bit. How can I reply to her? I’m not good at words.

Hi, Anon, thanks so much! I'm glad you're enjoying my blog! 💛.

Fake, fan fiction, CPN.

I've actually got a few stories in various stages of development, but who knows how long it will take me to finish them? I'm a very bursty writer, and will spend hours hammering out several pages and then not touch it again for weeks on end. If I ever have anything ready to share, I'll definitely post about it!

I'm sorry to hear that you've been hurt by the conversation with your classmate. It's never fun feeling misunderstood by someone whose regard we care about.

As I'm always saying, we can't control what other people say, do or think. The only thing we have any control over is how we respond to what other people do, say or think.

As I see it there are a couple of solid directions you can take with this (and I recommend a bit of both of these):

Change how you think about your classmate - It's not her behavior that has hurt you, it's the weight you give her words that has hurt you. Consider the source. Is her opinion really something you should be giving any weight to, particularly in terms of how you feel about your interests and how you feel about yourself? Does her opinion really hold so much credibility? NOOOOO. No. Come on, Anon, she's shipping GG with a woman. She's teasing you in hurtful ways. Perhaps she hasn't earned any real estate in your head.

Change how you think about being a turtle - This is something I feel all turtles who are suffering might want to take a closer look at, and that's what I'm going to focus on here.

I think it's always important to remember that to people who are not inside the fandom and have not seen all the evidence we've seen, we just look like a bunch of typical shippers.

I know some turtles feel bad knowing that other people don't see what they see, but it's actually a really good thing they don't. Keep in mind that GG and DD's relationship is under the radar. If it was as obvious to everyone else as it is to us, that would ultimately mean that their relationship is 'out', which would really harm their careers.

So it's in GG and DD's best interests that we seem crazy to other people. Wear it like a badge of pride. Every humiliating, snide, mocking remark from others is a reminder that we are supporting them while also protecting them. Better that we seem like lunatics to others, than that GG and DD are outed against their will to the broader world at large.

Embrace being a clown. It's a huge part of how we all stay sane as turtles. Next time your classmate starts saying stuff that feels diminishing of your feelings about GGDD, just laugh and say, "Yeah, I'm a clown for GGDD, and I'm so lucky to have them."

Don't waste your time trying to convince others that BJYXSZD. It's a fool's errand, and will only generate pain and conflict. SZD is everyone's personal path to take. Trying to become a lawyer for GGDD is the best possible way to ruin your experience of fandom.

Just enjoy GG and DD, enjoy their works, enjoy being a turtle and let everyone else be who/what they're going to be. It's their absolute right to be wrong about you. It's their absolute right to be uninformed about GGDD. It's their absolute right to ship whoever they want to ship, no matter how absurd.

And if clowning doesn't work for you, a little sympathy might. Humor her and let her enjoy her little corner of het romance. Someday she may need comforting from you. 😅

And on a more serious note: you never know what someone is getting out of their fandom. It's possible that shipping GG with a woman is giving her the strength to get through a difficult time, or maybe she's exploring her feelings about love and sex through the process of shipping, or maybe she's trying to process something from her past through fantasizing about GG and this woman. Or maybe she's just having fun and enjoying something that feels as sweet to her as GGDD feels to us.

Maybe hearing you talk about GG and DD put her ship on stormy seas, and she reacted by lashing out and trying to dismiss your feelings about GGDD. Maybe she really needs/wants to keep her ship steady in her mind. Maybe she's completely unconscious of how hostile her words felt to you.

We never know where someone is at, where they're coming from or what they're going through. It's always best and safest to be compassionate and give people the benefit of the doubt (while being wary and cautious around those who have said or done things that have hurt us, of course).

There's that old saying from Maya Angelou: "When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time." To put that in my own words: never fail to be aware of and to learn from the information you get from how people treat you. This is so important. How people treat us defines our relationships with them - and our experience of life - on so many levels. It says a lot about their values, and about how much they value us and/or our needs.

It seems this classmate has some things in common with you - she's into C-ent, she's into GG, she has a ship she cares about - but in other ways it seems she's not at all in alignment with you. Her hurtful remark might seem like a small thing, but it's actually a fairly big sign that she might not be wholesome, safe company for you.

Maybe this person isn't someone you should be hanging your self-worth on. Maybe she isn't someone you should spend time with or talk to about things that are dear and close to your heart. Not because she's awful - she's probably a perfectly fine person - but rather because her behavior is at odds with your needs.

Find people who will be kind and supportive toward you, even when they don't share your views. Find people with a spirit of curiosity about your thoughts and feelings, who genuinely want to know and understand you and your interests without casting judgment on them. People who are compatible with what you need from friendship. People who you can trust to handle the soft, vulnerable things you share with them with tender loving care.

Often we are drawn to and stick with people who we think we have things in common with, but we fail to notice that we actually don't share the same values around feelings and friendship. Being into the same band might be fun, for example. It gives us someone to go to shows with and to talk with about the latest album. But focusing on shared interests can often blind us to the many other incompatibilities we have with someone.

Trust me, I've learned this the hard way so many times.

And to get back to your question - how can you reply to her? - I'd ask you to consider whether you really need to. What do you hope to gain from replying to her? If your hopes have anything to do with changing her or changing her mind or making her see things differently, my advice would be: don't waste your time. It would only become a painful battle and make matters worse.

Clowning is more fun, and less likely to end in tears.

Anyway, I hope any of this rambling nonsense has been helpful to you. You might also find my fandom survival guide helpful.

#fandom reflections #bxg perspectives #personal #thanks so much #ask

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allycat75 · 8 months

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Sorry, this one is long. But the subject has given much to work with.

Proof People's Sexiest Man Alive 2023 really does hate himself, just from other quotes in the SMA article:

"I feel like I have a bit more freedom to take time away from the industry and still find projects that will satisfy my creative appetite when I return" I am sure based on the phoned in performance from Ghosted and on the reviews of Pain Hustlers, it sounds like you must be starving.

"My mom will be so happy," he says. "She's proud of everything I do but this is something she can really brag about". How she feelin' about that incel group also being proud of you?

Of Boston "We've got a lot of good schools. Let's give education a plug, that's damn sexy." I have read the few interviews your "beloved" has given and never before have I read so much and someone said so little. But hey, eyebrows are sexy, too. You can probably talk about that.

"I love the idea of tradition and ceremony, I had a lot of that in my life so the idea of creating that, I can't think of anything better." So I guess some new traditions are never being seen with your one and only without it being breadcrumbed and/or trolled, surrounded by a bunch of people, staged and scripted, all while you look miserable. Oh, and also talking about how you like to be alone and your dog is your soulmate.

Values most in a partner is "vulnerability and humility." I am sure your acting teaching family is thrilled she feels she is such a great actress that she doesn't need classes or coaching.

"I don't like to argue, I don't like to raise my voice, or any forms of manipulation," Yep, I know the feeling Christopher.

"It's wise and mature to be able to say "I'm sorry I made a mistake,' to be vulnerable and not always be looking for the argument or take things to an argumentative place. That takes a lot of maturity and I find that very sexy." I am sure that was the exact thought process when your baby posted her shower pic to deflect from the criticism she was getting for her problematic behavior. And did we miss the "sorry"? But only if it is accompanied by behavior change. Otherwise, it is just one of those pesky manipulations none of us likes.

"I love love". And that is why you feel comfortable taking a big dump on it with this disaster. If you are faking it, you have made love a joke, but if by chance it is real, you have shown yourself to be the absolute worst partner ever.

"The tough questions, you know what I mean? I [asked] a lot of tough questions as a kid," he explains. "'God made everything everything?' 'Is the color red to you the same as the color red to me?' I was a high strung kid and emotional so I'm anticipating those questions to be loaded with a lot of anxiety. And I think [as a parent] not only can you give a good answer to the specific question, but the tools to navigate tough questions like that." I'll just let the reader mull this one over, but I am curious to know the possible answer if asked "Dad, what do I do if I am forced to fake marry someone who represents the exact opposite of everything I have claimed to want in a partner? It will require me to use my family and friends in dumb schemes and stunts that will distract them from their daily lives and make thousands of innocent people look and feel crazy. It may even cause me to compromise my integrity and core beliefs by aligning me with those who represent the most base of our society."

But in all seriousness, there are some huge red flags here and this is unsustainable for a normal, happy life. Please study the lessons of this disaster, because the real tragedy of this mistake would be to just move on. Get help from professionals and seek to understand patterns that you keep falling into. I find the ABC method works well:

Good luck!

#Spoiled meatball #SMA 2023

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xxmagicitselfxx · 6 months

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#favorite songs #song recs #music recs #laura marano #i may be an actress but i can't fake how i feel #Spotify

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pop-culturalist · 7 months

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Exclusive Interview: Laura Marano Chats About Her Debut Album, I May Be An Actress, but I Can’t Fake How I Feel, Her Growth as an Artist, and More

#Laura Marano #austin & ally #the perfect date #the royal treatment

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koogificrecs · 1 year

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Jeon Jungkook Fic Recs

Idolverse

Either Side of Sunrise by knjsagustd [On-going] OC actress and Jungkook get to know each other via text and eventual meeting.

Revival by IrisEdana [31k On-Going] Becoming Jungkook's personal medical staff and more than that

Timestamps by bonny-kookoo (4 Ch. series) Short, fluffy & realistic. Foreigner OC with boyfriend koo navigating their first time together after only online dating.

Reunited Exes

Our Beloved Summer by Jeonqkooks [On-going] College first-loves reunite when unexpectedly asked to work on an album. Lots of angst and mystery surrounding the breakup, oblivious JK, traumatized OC, incredibly well written.

Supernova by Jeonqkooks OC breaks up with JK to prevent future resentment, only for that not to matter years later, after his success. Optimistic open ending.

Lose Somebody by kooala (26k) Camping with your ex never ends well. Except when it ends REALLY well. They Dont love you like I Love You by yeojaa (3 Ch. series) Idiots in love who can't get over each other

Supernova by Jeonqkooks (4 Ch. series) Poetic, dramatic, emotional and cry worthy. Classic 'cant live without you' but written so beautifully

DILF

Long Way Home by sparklingchim [On-going] Mutually in love with best friend and single dad Jungkook and baby Nabi, lots of denial and angst.

Friends to Lovers

Strictly Platonic by Jeonqkooks (19.4k) Touchy best friends lead to feelings and fake dating during college inevitably leads to realizations. Cliche in the best way possible.

Mutual Help by personasintro [500k on-going] No explanation needed..... iconic. Messy. Smutty.

Finders Keep Hers by yeojaa (3 Ch. series) Fuckboy JK confesses. Super poetic and smutty

Are you Going to Stay? by hollyhomburg (6.4k) Idol Jungkook and best friend OC reunite after a year apart after complicating things

A Normal Wednesday by casuallyimagining (one-shot) Drunk Jungkook confesses something that sober Jungkook has to reckon with

Comfort

Until Then by jeonqkooks (1.5k) Soft boyfriend JK comforting OC from a breakdown

Support by casuallyimagining (one-shot) Jungkook shows up at your door after a difficult day at rehearsal. Short and fluffy, typical idiot best friends in the unspoken more-than-friend zone.

Enemies to Lovers By Its Cover by gimmesumsuga (21k) Bad first impressions but feelings build over time. Not super angsty, just some trope-y fluff and decent smut.

Childhood Friends

Get The Right Vibe by mookie4ever (2.8k) Young friends discovering their sexuality together

Falling Skies by fortunexkookie (50k series) Navagating love and grief together, super angsty, may have legit changed my life

A Thousand Reasons Why by Taegularities (43k) A sweet rekindling at your best friends wedding

Navy by jjkfire (17k) Childhood friends who dreamt of making it big, only Jungkook leaves to join BTS and OC takes the traditional path. Angst, realistic plot, a good precursor but open ended.

Sugar High by Yeojaa (16 Ch. series 33.3k) Idiots in love, slow burn, angst and fluff. Bottled up feelings until it explodes, happy ending.

College

United You Were Mine by wnderkoo [On-going] college FWB, a mistake that keeps happening, whoops!

It's Complicated / Troubled Lovers

Photographs by honeyedhoseok (one-shot) Situationship with a sweet and confused Kookie wondering where his love is

Soulmates

How Long Will We Fall by jiminrings (14k) Best friends who hide their soul mate initials on their fingers. Fuckboy JK doesn't want anything to do with it until it's too late

#BTSficrecs #jungkookficrecs

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mdccanon · 2 years

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Thoughts on this vid?

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=S5Ak5uEcDUQ

I have been thinking about this in terms of fiction as part of something that I want to write about the dissatisfaction with fantasy without revolution.

To put it simply, even when we reach for entertainment, we have become unhappy unless the point of the story is to address the inherent flaws of the society of the story. We are unhappy, even when we fantasize.

But, besides me always interpreting everything through fiction writing, I completely agree and I have two levels that I have to address of this in myself. That I address with two main tenants that I try to follow, that you see me use in my conversations with people here on Tumblr.

Be angry about things you can change. Be ambivalent / humorous about everything else. AKA sleep deprivation is real. Don't stay woke.

As upset as a woke person may feel towards me for saying that, I say that with the full expectation of working to change something. I completely agree that everyone should spend their life addressing some great change. There are a lot of problems in the world. Shit needs to get done. But absolutely everyone is a "single issue voter" with only a handful of things they have an educated opinion and commitment about. To fake an educated opinion causes the stress this young woman is talking about, because you're ruminating on variables you don't fully understand and can't change, and you're doing it out a fear of other woke people calling you insensitive, which is just a double layer of peer pressure stress. Changing the world is already stressful. There is no mental benefit to daily stress that the world is not changed.

2) Unless you plan to pay people, what good are you giving people for converting them to your cause? AKA Unionize Wokeness.

For being affiliated with the labor movement, wokeness is one of the most exploitative causes that I've ever seen.

Let's use this young lady's example of going into the world feeling every opportunity is secretly diminished or against her. Staying woke does not lead to Black folks using Black-owned media and elevating the standards of journalism; it just leads to them being hypersensitive to how CNN reports. Staying woke doesn't lead to Black folks fostering new relationships and championing worldwide hip hop; it just leads to them hyper fixating on the mistakes of hip Hop of the last 30 years with no real understanding of how anyone else's using it. Let's sprinkle a little bit of dangerously manic manifest destiny on these minds. I try as hard as I can to be sympathetic and say "I recognize that you were in pain. But what would you like to do to get better?" And the woke mentality says that the best thing that you can do is to continue to mourn the pain. How?

So, look at every example common on my blog:

People upset about MCU castings (something neither I nor they have control over) want me to change my opinion on the casting (seeking my validation, as if I matter) but aren't willing to put in ANY work to introduce me to the alternative actors and actresses they suggest because their priority is to feel "heard" by a random stranger on the Internet than to express a single iota of agency. Also, they have no real suggestions about Wanda's storylines or opinions about her position in the story, either the Infinity Saga or Multiverse Saga, because this issue matters to them because it's a chance to Be Woke about something and not because of any interest in fantasy writing, movie making, or comic books.

These people never knew anything about Romani filmmaking or actors and I would think that that would be more insulting to pretend you know them for clout then to just be unaware. And these people never wanted to learn anything because that would be within their control. They don't want agency, they want to feel Woke by not having control.

During the Johnny Depp v Amber Heard case, Amber Heard supporters would try to diminish my critical questions about the testimonies during the trial because they 1) don't actually watch the trial of the defendant they are supporting, 2) don't actually know the full outline of her allegations against her ex-husband, 3) don't care about how the legal system works, and 4) are willing to ignore things Amber Heard said and did if it interfered with their narrative. And tried to make a court case about defamation of character in journalism about Tweets from fans. Because the issue matter to them because they wanted to stay Woke about women who accuse men of domestic abuse and not because of any actual interest in that particular woman and that particular accusation. Have any conversation with any Amber Heard supporter who kept asking me "Where did you hear that from?" when I quoted the literal trial.

It is more insulting to the issue of domestic abuse to support a person who is obviously faking their accusations, and whenever I would talk to these people about real volunteering in domestic abuse, that's not something they wanted to do because that would be within their control. They don't want agency. They want to feel Woke by having no control.

As a person who suffers from anxiety, I know that it is very tempting to feel that the silver lining of it is that you are always ready for problems. But being anxious, ruminating over problems, is not the same thing as being ready for them. If it was, anxiety would not be a mental disorder. Order to Stay Woke you must approach it from a perspective of assuming you have no control. The average person is not a community organizer working shoulder to shoulder with a national icon on a large civil rights issue. For THAT person, Staying Woke may be a healthy layer of vigilance as they work tirelessly (and dodge death threats and assassination attempts). You are not James Baldwin. If you want James Baldwin's mentality, live his life.

But I've actually stopped and asked why James Baldwin gets away with saying "I don't have a dream job; I never dreamt of labor." when his life was sustained doing fulfilling work that he enjoyed and helped others... And no one has yet to have an answer to that. He just sounded so damn Woke sayin' it.

#Woke culture #sjw logic

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