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hyperfixation-tangentopia · 10 months

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So, I just??? Randomly just the motivation for this??? So enjoy more Tealstar stuff ig lol. Tried to do a lot here, not sure how well it worked for me. You can tell I got a little rundown at Tongbi's part, but I was still really determined to finish this, so. Here ya go.

Chikao loved the storm.

The smell of fresh rain and the swirl of dark clouds overhead lit up by flashes of lightning that split the sky in two and sent deep, booming thunder rippling over the land was something she could never get tired of. Every lightning strike lit up her eyes, she could feel the vibration of thunder running deep within her bones, and the entire world was pulled just a little to the side by the chilling winds that whipped past.

She was fond of the world after a storm, too. The way the smell of rain lingered for a week afterwards, clouds drifted past so you could see sheets of rain coming down in the distance as they left, the sudden abundance of greens and the pinks and blues and yellows of plants as they sprouted up, the splashing of puddles gathered in random dips in the ground and squishing of deep brown mud as water sunk into the soil. She loved that. Loved everything about it.

And the best part was that she could do it. On a whim, whenever she wanted, she could summon the clouds and lightning and feel the very storm surging through her bones. She could feel the world come alive in a way so, so different than it did in the shine of the sun.

But, unfortunately, not everyone was so welcoming.

And why weren’t they? What was even the point of limiting her ability to create storms? Why did she have to “register” a storm or whatever to create one? It wasn’t like she was creating out-of-control tornados or setting forests on fire with lightning. Most of the time, it was just a little rain to give the village crops a boost!

But the Celestial Realm hadn’t seen it that way. The first time Nezha had come down to meet her, he had called it “undermining the Jade Emperor’s authority” and “breaking the laws of the Celestial Realm” and “a matter to be taken seriously”. But honestly? How could she take someone that had come down to lecture her about why she couldn’t summon rain without paperwork seriously.

And that was all it had been, for a while. Something funny, eventually just a friend coming down to spar. Barely an annoyance. Not even a concern.

And then Princess Iron Fan had joined him. And they’d struggled over the winds of the storm, trying to turn them on each other to gain an advantage. And then…

Flash

And then people had gotten hurt.

And the Celestial Realm was angry.

Stealing the Peaches of Immortality from their orchard? That was probably just the cherry on top.

But even when they’d come to arrest Chikao for her “crimes” (come on, they were peaches), they’d made a mistake to dare go after Tongbi.

Chikao sighed quietly as she stared up at the endless night sky, the stars twinkling back at her like tiny diamonds against a sheet of inky paint. It felt so close when the storm was swirling around it, the wind catching every little loose thing on the ground and throwing around every small hair out of place, but when the night was clear like this and she was laying on the ground beside Tongbi…it felt so, so far away. She itched for it to be close again, to touch the clouds and feel their water in her hands.

She wondered if, in a world where Nezha had time, where Nezha could step away from his celestial duties and just relax for a moment, they could fly around through the clouds and throw water at each other.

She didn’t live in that world. She didn’t know.

“Chikao?” Tongbi’s soft voice pulled Chikao out of her thoughts.

“Yeah?” Chikao rolled onto her side to look at Tongbi, flattening the grass beneath her.

Tongbi’s eyes stayed on the sky as he spoke and his hands picked through the fur on his tail. His voice was muffled by his dark green scarf as he buried his face into the fabric. “You won’t let them t-t-take you from me, will you?”

A small spark of anger flashed in her chest. She’d said they’d be together forever, and she’d meant it. No Celestial Realm would change that. “Of course not. And I won’t let anyone hurt you, either.”

Tongbi didn’t respond and Chikao rolled back onto her back with a soft sigh. She didn’t want Tongbi to worry. He shouldn’t have had to worry. She dealt with Nezha and Iron Fan on her own fine, didn’t she? And then even when more celestials had shown up, she’d dealt with it. But Tongbi was still worried, and Chikao knew well by then that the only thing that was going to soothe his concern was time.

Time, or get rid of the Celestial Realm’s meddling completely, but she knew that wasn’t going to happen.

At least, that’s what she thought, as the days went by and Tongbi slowly felt safe being outside of his library again. As toddlers and children became teens and adults. As people aged and grayed and passed.

Until the Brotherhood reached out with a dream. A dream of glory and ambition. A dream of change and prosperity. A dream of safety and comfort. A dream of freedom. A dream of storms.

A dream of a day storms could freely brew in the days, and the skies would be theirs at night.

A dream where the Celestial Realm wouldn’t meddle, Nezha could freely come and go, and Tongbi’s concerns would vanish.

And Chikao took it.

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Tongbi hated surprises.

The unexpected whirlwind of emotions he wasn’t ready for, having to think on his feet and his mind going blank, only moments to make a decision and if it was the wrong one he was doomed. The mounting pressure of what felt like a mountain behind his head and the crushing weight of do or die that he just couldn’t pull himself out of.

And the aftermath was worse. Because then there were a hundred different feelings all weighing him down like boulders, telling him there was some way to alleviate their weight but not giving him a single how-to. Sometimes the boulders were hot and sometimes electric and sometimes just heavy, and those meant different things, but he didn’t know what they meant. But apparently, knowing what they meant and how to sort them out was the very key to getting them under control sometimes, because otherwise every time he thought about the surprise he would trigger another rockslide.

Physically, Tongbi didn’t mind rocks, boulders, or even mountains. Feet on the ground, dig his heels in, take a deep breath and move. He could move boulders, sort out rockslides, split entire mountainsides in two that way. The boulders he could touch the rough or smooth surfaces of were lighter than the ones that crushed his heart and held him down in the corner with tears spilling onto blurry pages, but never had a texture.

Fortunately, people were welcoming.

It had been a strange change after the curious chirps of the monkeys that found him hiding away in caves on Flower Fruit Mountain, but a warm one. Chikao helped lift the boulders off his chest, explain some of the feelings and help him separate them apart so he could think without folding into a mess of matted fur and heavy emotions.

The warm nights of staring up at the stars and pointing out constellations as Chikao worked through his fur were the best nights he’d ever known. Spending days reading books about the sun aloud and telling Chikao about asteroids that flew by brought him a warmth he could never quite explain. Even the flower pin he had, with teal and red petals, served as a small comfort when he was alone, to remind him that someone cared.

Though he had been nervous at first, the village was nice too. Adults were happy to trust him to read about the phenomenon of eclipses to children and watch meteor showers with them, and the kids were always fascinated by his words and eager to ask questions and learn more. Even on days where he didn’t have books, several of them were ready to ask questions and listen to him ramble.

And even as they grew and had more chores and work to tend to, nobody minded when he sat on a bench and read the afternoon away.

Tongbi hummed a tune as his eyes scanned across neat words, written with meticulous precision. Dust kicked up into the air as the click clack of horseshoes went by, but Tongbi was fully absorbed, the rest of the world blurred as he imagined how it would feel to step on the moon. Would he feel lighter? Would it feel like stone on earth, or dust, or powder, or something else entirely? Would the stars look different? What kind of new star charts could he make from there?

“I’m bored!” The high-pitched whine of a kid caught his ear. He almost called out to invite them to read, but…no, they probably didn’t want to hear him. All of the kids he used to read to were teenagers or adults now, and had too much responsibility to bother listening to him anymore, and the new ones probably didn’t have any interest in him.

“Hey, this guy’ll read to you about some pretty cool stuff, if you wanna.” Tongbi glanced up from his book to see a teenager with long black hair running down past her shoulders and freckles mixing with the dust and dirt on her face. He felt a small flower of warmth bloom in his chest. He knew this kid. Did she still remember him?

“Ooo, like what?” One of the children asked as their arms swung back and forth.

“Well, you know the little white things that are up in the sky every night?” She smiled.

“Uh-huuuuh.” The kid nodded.

“Well, he taught me that those are called stars, and they’re actually very, very distant suns.” She said as she walked over to the bench Tongbi was sitting on.

“Woah!” Three kids followed her, their eyes shining brighter than the sun.

“But suns don’t look like that.” Another kid frowned.

“That’s the fun part.” She sat down in front of Tongbi and skimmed the title of his current book. “He’ll explain the whole thing.”

The kids promptly sat down in front of him, staring up with eager curiosity that filled Tongbi with warmth. He started explaining, slowly at first, then faster when they only seemed more intrigued. More children, kids playing in the village and teenagers he used to read to just finished with chores, came around him and sat down, enjoying his reading and explanations.

He hoped this never changed. And, luckily for him, it didn’t seem that was going to happen.

At least, that’s what he thought, as Tongbi’s reading slowly expanded to the entire village. As toddlers and children became teens and adults. As people aged and grayed and passed.

Until the Brotherhood reached out with a risk. A risk of danger and hostility. A risk of battle and bloodshed. A risk of pain and uncertainty. A risk of imprisonment. A risk of change.

A risk of ferocious and bloody battles by day, and wounded and torn foundations by night.

A risk of the Celestial Realm coming down with all their fury, Nezha would be injured, and Chikao being imprisoned.

And Tongbi denied it.

Tongbi denied the dream. Chikao took the risk.

#tealstars #I'm actually #not that upset about this??#I really like the first few paragraphs of Chikao's stuff #and I got a bit run down on Tongbi's part but it's still like #good? maybe a little less?#it's on the likeable spectrum I guess lol #I tried to do a lot here so I hope it worked #if nothing else I think this helps get their personalities down a little bit more #also I'm dramatic as hell when I write I'm aware there's a reason I relate to Macaque so hard XD #I kinda tried to parallel their bits a bit?? I hope that worked #I think I managed to some extent highlight the difference between them I really wanted to highlight #and still squeeze in some other stuff that's harder to get through in just drawings and rambles #anyway actually pretty happy with this one so :333 #please tell me if you notice anything mainly bc I will be super happy if I got stuff across properly :3 #I need to just make a post collecting all the tealstar stuff together at this point XD #y'know what maybe I'll do that #imma go do that now maybe perhaps #anyway enjoy!! I'll stop rambling now lol

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heatobrienswife · 1 year

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#would anyone get mad if i reposted old art?#i dont have anything new of my ship cause art block n I'm actually working on two projects i need to have done like now #so i haven't been drawing anyway #but i went through a bunch of my old stuff n found a few things i still liked #some from my main before i even had a self ship blog #idk i just feel a lil bad cause i haven't been posting really anything to do with my ship #shut up rattie no one gives a shit lol #btw not the same reason i was upset earlier I'm just feeling bad about it rn lol #also i see the asks! I'll get to them when it's quieter here! thank you for sending them!

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yuriyuruandyuraart · 2 years

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ah well gosh hi???

in what i said was gonna be a one day break from, well, life tbh, i seemingly realized that i don't just have school coming SOON, but that i wasn't prepared to wake up at 2pm to find out i only have a few days left of total free time not spent struggling and stressing out over exams of all things

so like any average person i went and made plans with friends to hang out and get my mind off of everything- and while it was good while it lasted, i really wanted to be, yknow, clear

i have artworks at the ready, and if i ever become desperate enough to start getting a hang on drawing with a mouse all the time i might as well, but as things stand i really do not know what the heck i am doing-

i'll try my hardest to at least look for a way to fix the pen cause that's just the most important and expensive part of the damaged stuff, but i'm thinking the cable is perma-broke so i'll have to look for a way to replace it

to cut right to the chase: i have some art i can post. but i dunno when, if, or which to post because most of them have some context that i would've normally been all too eager to explain, but as things stand? man i don't think i could muster the energy to try

so? i dunno yall- i mean i could start writing again? i've entertained the idea long enough and this might be just the opportunity to finally get some practice without getting distracted by drawing :'D

i could do small stuff with a mouse if i feel like sharing some art, but the illustrations? i feel like i can only post those once i feel a bit more alive mentally and physically to interact with others without feeling so drained all the time (but knowing that school's coming, i can't really promise anything :'))

thanks a lot for the sweet words and patience guys- it means a lot that you won't immediately, idk, ditch this blog once you realize i might not post much if not at all (hopefully not gosh) for an undetermined amount of time? you really made me realize this wasn't as bad as my mind's been pushing me to think,

so trust me i WILL bounce back and reblog stuff and have entire essays in your tags eventually- i just need to stop feeling like it has to be today, or tomorrow, or any days afterwards, just that it will happen when i feel like it<3

#rambling #delete later?#it feels so funny to get bothered by something that would be trivial to future me in like...idk a year?#i'm not as upset as i thought i'd be too- just mostly numb i guess..#also the reason why i can't bring myself to post the artworks i had- can i really talk about how much fun i had drawing them?#when i'm barely wrapping my head around the fact that i can't no more? and for an uncertain amount of time where i'll be too busy #too tired and too short on money to even think about drawing in the first place? i don't think i wanna get used to that but well #if there's one thing i can take from these vacations is that while you guys can't see it i really did have fun improving on my art #and gosh do i love what i'm doing so much that i personally wouldn't mind if it were just for me alone to see #but after sharing my ideas and works into the wild and watching people gather around to share ideas back-#i can say i like my art and the why is because it makes me happy! and it apparently does for you guys too so why not share! >:)#i also guess one of the reasons i'm not as active is cause of the whole need to compose myself and find the time to breathe and enjoy #the works of the others and mine and think of ways to express my feelings to everyone #and trust me sometimes i wish i could just write nothing and post/reblog- but it feels so empty #if i wanted to do that i'd make another account #no i want to talk about what i love with y'all and if i start rambling well no one's complaining!#if i see something made with the thought of me behind it then ain't no way in hell i'm not climbing rooftops yelling how much i love it #so if i somehow don't do that then i'm either too busy to even check tumblr- dead- or doing even worse somehow- so nothing against you!#guess i had that on my mind for a while now so please! i'm not ignoring you on purpose! i'm probably too wrapped up in my stuff to react #same for asks btw i am not joking there's so many and i live in constant shame xD :')#if you made it this far i am so sorry for yet another long post but i feel it's justified a little x) goodnight everyone! have a nice day<3

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silverskye13 · 2 years

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different anon. it does for some people but not everyone. (also, some people may find the feature annoying in certain cases because the length it decides is Too Long is kiinda arbitrary and peoople have differnent lines.)

So in the spirit of Under-The-Cutting, I guess.

First thing of address, I guess: I can't control if people turn off the auto Tumblr readmore function. If it doesn't work for you, you can't control that either. But I find it a bit unfair that someone might, hypothetically, turn off the useful tool for cutting back on longposts on your dashboard, and then come into my inbox and be passive-aggressive about me not doing the function for them on my side of the equation. If that's the circumstances that kicked all this off, it's a bit... ahm... self-centered. I personally have it turned on, less because I want to filter long written posts [I like reading the fics posted on Tumblr] but because I like to filter long image posts, and those generally don't get censored under a readmore.

For that matter I also can't control someone's scrolling speed. I get what the second anon is trying to say: maybe only censor posts of a certain size. The issue here is what I think is long isn't the same as what someone else does. For me personally, I think long is a written work that tops out around 10k words. I'd get annoyed scrolling through that on my dashboard. The fic I posted yesterday was a rare 5k-ish. Most fics I've posted here in the past are around 2-3k, but I've posted an 8k fic here before with no resistance. Something I'm learning from this is other people think 2-3k is fine enough to scroll through, but 5k is a lot. So... noting that for the future.

So I personally don't like censoring my posts under the readmore function for a couple or reasons:

It cuts back on engagement, noticeably. It's the side-effect of social media that you want instant gratification as quickly as possible. When someone is given the choice to either click a button and sit on a post for awhile, or continuing to scroll through their dashboard for something quicker to engage with, normally they'll pick the second option. That's how social media was made, and while the Tumblr platform subverts this a little by it's nature, it still buy-and-large holds true.

Read mores, as far as I'm aware, can only be added on desktop. The snippets that make it to Tumblr, barring when I archive them for myself on a separate document, are all written on mobile. If they aren't completely mobile, they're at least started/drafted there and then moved to desktop later - but I want to say 9/10 of these are written and posted completely from my phone. And they're going to lean even more into that, since for various reasons, it's currently easier and more reliable for me to write on my phone. I won't be able to continue writing fics here if I have to wait until I have access to my laptop every time before posting them. Which leads me to my incredibly me-only dilemma:

Writing these quickly and posting them rough to Tumblr is the only reason these quick fics get written in the first place. I started posting written work to Tumblr because I was tired of abandoning so many ideas in the shuffle between "Is this good enough for AO3?" and "Is this good enough to be written at all?" But if I have to re-add roadblocks that make posting here more trouble than it's worth, I know myself, I will end up not posting fics here anymore. I'm sure it sounds silly. It sounds silly to me. But it's less of a "readmores make me not want to write" and more of the mental gymnastics of: Is this fic long enough to need a readmore -> If it does need a readmore, when will I have the time to add it -> Do I post it now and edit it in later? Probably not, because I won't remember to add it later -> Since I waited to post it, do i even remember hours later that I had a fic I wanted to post -> Would it have been easier to post this on AO3, even though it doesn't meet my standard of craft of AO3 fics? -> Why am I bothering to do this when I have so many other things I'd rather spend my time on? If you've ever done that thing where you got nothing done on a free day because you had (1) thing you had to do in the afternoon, and all your mental faculties were taken up going "No I can't do X, I have to do that thing in 4 hours!" That's kind of the odd cascade the whole readmore thing is doing for me right now.

My thoughts on this currently is I have 2 compromises and 1 definitely-not-a-compromise. And the one not-a-compromise is I ignore all this ever happened, and continue doing what I have been doing. I don't want to do that because I like to be accommodating? I'm very community focused. I like building an atmosphere that's welcoming when it comes to the blog. But that might also be what I resort to just because, as I said above, if this turns into more trouble on my end than I think it's worth, I'll just stop posting fics here, and I don't want to do that. Which leads me to--

Compromise 1: I stop posting fics here. It's not really a compromise, but it's easy. Ish. Eh. Not really. Tagging everything on AO3 is a pain in the butt for something quick and dumb you wrote up because you thought it'd be fun. But being able to post a link to a fic like with my LongFics is a think I could just fall back on. I think it also means I'll probably stop writing this stuff though, because I'll get bogged down in things like trying to edit them, or link them together cohesively when they're out of chronological order [Like the Hels/Wels fics, which currently are all over the place in their timeline, and will continue to be so probably]. Regardless it's an option.

Compromise 2: We can go back to the old standby which is me tagging anything longer than 3 paragraphs as "long post" and then if anyone doesn't want it popping up on their dash, they can filter the tag. I also don't like this option because it blocks even more than a readmore does. But it's quick and easy for me, and maintains the integrity of "I wanted to post this to Tumblr and not worry about it anymore."

This is all stuff for me to stew on. I don't expect people to weigh in on these options, though you're welcome to if you think you have some good input for it. But that's about where I'm at right now.

#spazzcat barks #delete later #answering asks #the readmore debacle #well that's exhausted me for the night #i was going to draw but now I think I just want to sleep #Anyway I hope no one takes this as me like? Threatening them?#I'm not trying to say 'arghh you've made me upset no more writing for you'#i just know myself and i know my personal hangups when it comes to productivity #and as soon as something requires marginally more hoops to jump through i drop it #i became inactive on DeviantArt because it was easier to post art on Tumblr and write a few tags #than to slog through the filtering system for posts DA had #Same thing with FurAffinity the short time I was on that site #And AO3 is really high on the threshold of 'this is more trouble than it's worth' to me #which is why very few of these quick fics have been archived onto AO3 #but if this turns into a thing where it's harder to post fics on tumblr than not -- i'll do like I did with DA and FA and stop posting #its a storied trend and i dislike it :'D

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