#i kind of feel like I'll eventually *** ******

[cerise-on-top]

Fluff alphabet for Nikolai? You’re one of the few who write for him and he’s my favorite character! Thank you so much!!

Hey there! Really? There aren't many people who write for him? That's such a shame, he's literally such a cool character and I adore him so much! Also, sorry I wrote this relatively late, but life got inbetween! But I wrote it now!

Fluff Alphabet for Nikolai

A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

If it was up to him, then you’d be spending most of your days at home, within the safety of your walls. However, he loves doing whatever it is you love. You wanna go on a hike? You wanna have a boxing match with him? You wanna start a book club? Everything is game for him as long as you’re down for it, or make the suggestion. He is the adaptable sort of person who can do just about anything, especially if he gets to spend time with you and make you happy.

B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

The fact that you can stay with someone like him. Nikolai can be a very cocky man, he doesn’t particularly hide his occasional cruelty either. Sure, he is calm and collected as well, but he could see why you would want to leave him for someone more “proper”. You could likely get anyone in the world, and yet you decide to stay with him? He, who has killed the guilty and innocent alike? Who makes fun of the police whenever he can? It takes a special kind of crazy to want to be with someone like that. He can appreciate that. 

C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

Since one of his abilities is that he can stay calm under any circumstance, he would likely calmly talk to you, try to talk some sense into you as well. His voice can be rather calm too when he wants it to be. He’ll be your voice of reason while getting you away from whatever may be upsetting you, shielding you from onlookers. When you’re sad he’ll offer some advice, or maybe some distraction, whichever you say you need more at the moment. His advice is actually pretty solid too, he’s been through a lot and isn’t the youngest anymore either.

D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

He has a small country house in the middle of nowhere in Russia, and he’d love living there with you. No more soldier or mercenary business, just you and him living together there, disturbed by no one aside from the occasional bird chirping here and there. He’d chop the wood while you make him a lovely pie. It doesn’t need to be fancy, as long as he gets to spend his future with you, winding down from all the adrenaline he gets on a regular basis, he’s happy.

E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

Surprisingly, he tends to be more passive in the relationship. Though, he could go either way, but normally he just goes along with whatever it is you want. Sure, he can and will flirt with you occasionally, and if you’re on the more passive side then he’ll take charge, but other than that he just goes with the flow and lets you decide. If you can’t decide for whatever reason, then he will. But whatever makes you happiest he’ll do.

F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

He would never raise his voice at you. It’s very hard to anger him in general, he usually believes he’s in the right anyway, which he usually is. He’s calm and collected at all times, but will be more factual with everything when he’s starting to get annoyed with you. However, he easily forgives, regardless of whether you apologize or not. Your relationship isn’t so weak that something like this should make it falter.

G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

Generally speaking, he knows what is and isn’t a given, and he knows to appreciate the things that aren’t. So yeah, he’s a pretty grateful man, even if it doesn’t seem like he’d show it very often. Nikolai knows that you cleaning the house from top to bottom, you cooking him a meal and giving him all the love he deserves and so much more isn’t a given, so he likes to show his gratitude through the small things, such as making sure to take in every new detail about you and always complimenting you, getting you the occasional gift as well. Something small but meaningful.

H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

He runs a PMC, so naturally there are things he can’t tell you about. However, he does believe that secrecy kills a relationship. If it’s something he can talk about, he will. Although he won’t go into detail about how he tortured that man, he will give you constructive criticism on how you can improve your knitting. He’s not one for lying, you deserve to know just about everything. Isn’t the most open about his past, though.

I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

I think Nikolai changed the most during his youth, so likely long before he met you. By the time you met he had already become who he is today. I don’t think anyone or anything could change him that significantly anymore, unless something truly terrible happened. He knows to take care of himself. However, I feel as though he could have become a bit kinder as a result of meeting you.

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

He has faith in you to not leave him. Sure, he gets his spurts of jealousy, but he’s an adult, he doesn’t really act on it all that much. The only thing he really does when he’s jealous is talk over the other person to try and get your attention. He deals with it by either walking away from the situation or trying to get you away from the other person if he can. Again, he trusts you to not stray from him.

K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

He’s an attractive man, he likely had his fair share of lovers throughout his life, meaning he’s kissed plenty of times. When he was younger, he wasn’t a very good kisser, but he learned to adapt to the likes and dislikes of people. He could likely satisfy just about anyone with a few kisses these days. However, your first kiss with him would have beena a gentle one. He loved you even back then and was afraid of intimidating you. It was short, it was gentle, it was sweet.

L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

It wouldn’t be anything too fancy. He’d get you flowers, some chocolate or other sweets you like and invite you to a lake or something. And then he’d confess his feelings to you in a casual manner and ask you if you want to be with him. If you had said no then he would have made the offer of staying friends, at the very least.

M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

On the one hand, he does want to get married, on the other he doesn’t want to subject you to all the danger he’s usually part of. I think it would take him an eternity to propose and then it would be something simple as well. He’d test the waters by asking you if you want to marry him first, the ring comes later. Not much changes when you’re married to him. It still feels rather casual, but there’s always the fact you’re bound by your vows now. He’ll make it his goal to relive his honeymoon with you by going on a vacation with you every once in a while.

N icknames - What do they call their s/o?

Милый/милая (my dear, darling), Любимый/любимая (loved one) and Солнышко (sunshine) are his go to. He’s not overly creative, but he sometimes also calls you by the names of cute little animals. Again, he’s more casual when it comes to things like this. More often than not, he calls you by your name. However, he’s not above using terms of endearment in your native language as well. He knows eight languages, and if yours isn’t among them then he’ll simply learn it.

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

It’s not obvious at all when he’s in love. Sure, he likes to spend more time with you, but he won’t prioritize you when he’s busy. Sometimes he’ll give you an expensive gift. Knowing fully well you’ll want to repay him, he’ll simply ask for your company and that you’ll pay for the coffee on your little date. He knows how to get what he wants, and if he wants a small outing with you then he’ll get it. He doesn’t express his feelings freely at first, but he’ll call and text you more often to check up on you. That’s about it, he has his feelings in check otherwise.

P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

He doesn’t really brag about his relationship. He only really mentions you here and there in front of his closest friends. The entire world doesn’t need to know about you, so he keeps you to himself for the most part. However, he doesn’t really mind PDA all that much. Sure, he won’t really initiate it, but if you really wanna kiss him, then you can just go for it. Same if you just wanna cuddle up to him under his jacket. He doesn’t really mind that sort of thing.

Q uirk - Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship.

The fact that he can stay cool under any circumstance. Even when you’re out to get on his nerves like no other he can stay almost completely neutral. It’s really hard to piss him off, and even then he thinks more rationally than he normally would. He really doesn’t let his emotions get the better of him when he’s in a negative situation. You’ll never have him yell at you, only tell you facts. He can also argue for you in case someone is being mean to you.

R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

He’s not really a romantic at heart. Sure, there’s the occasional gesture. He’ll gift you plushies, he’ll take you on a walk where you can watch the sunrise together, he’ll also cuddle you on the couch. However, he will also train you, he will take you to his shooting range, you will be sparring with him from time to time. Although it may not seem like much, that’s also another “romantic” aspect of his. He wants you to be able to defend yourself in an emergency, so he’ll make all of it seem more romantic than it really is. Will take you out for dinner, though. He can make some really mean pirozhki.

S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

Naturally. He’s been through so much, he likely has some piece of advice for just about any situation. And even when he can’t give you any advice, he can help you out by either listening to your woes or by paying for whatever it is you need. He’ll always be there for you. Nikolai is a very loyal man once you’ve gotten on his good side. He would never let anyone he’s close with down, be it a friend or a lover. You can bet he’ll do just about anything for you.

T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

It entirely depends on what you want. He can honestly go either way. Sure, he might not want to spice his love life up by committing a murder with you every day, even if he could, but maybe going on a vacation every once in a while would be nice. While he may be down to try almost everything at least once, he doesn’t mind staying stagnant in that regard either. It’s really up to you. However, he will make you eat certain new foods he thinks you might like. He’s a great cook, his meals are always top notch.

U nderstanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

He’s not a very empathetic person. Sure, he can usually tell what someone is thinking, but that doesn’t mean he cares enough about most people to feel what they’re feeling. Even in a relationship he isn’t the most emphatic person, he barely has any empathy for anyone. However, he can easily take notice of even the smallest of changes in your behavior and act accordingly. To him, life is more logical than anything else, not so much emotional. So he will act in accordance with the signs you give him and do whatever he has learned works for you. Either that or he will listen to his intuition. His intuition is great.

V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?

His relationship with you is on par with the friendship he has with Price and Laswell. He knows that you can’t live off of love and air your entire life, so he keeps close contact with both of them as well. While you could not bribe him out of the relationship if you tried, he does sometimes think about cutting ties with you to keep you safe. He wouldn’t go through with it, but he does value a lot of things in life. Any relationship is important to him, whether it be romantic or platonic. So yeah, you wanting him to cut ties with Price or Laswell would immediately raise a red flag with him. He wouldn’t give up either of them either, please understand that. 

W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

He runs so very hot. Out of all the main characters, he has the highest body temperature. Nikolai is very comfortable to cuddle with in winter. He doesn’t mind cuddling with you either, if that’s what you want. But just so you know, he’s a tall man and could likely wrap himself around you almost entirely. He’s also very strong, so he could make you feel very protected as well. That’s one of his favorite things to do, making you feel safe and secure. The more you melt into him, the more you trust him to protect you, the better. He’s a nightmare to cuddle with in summer, though.

X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

On his own accord he’s kind of like a cat. He prefers to watch you and be in the same room as you to show affection. Once he’s figured out your style of affection, he’ll act in accordance to that. You wanna cuddle? Sure. You wanna be together in the same room? Naturally. You wanna be mushy together and exchange loving words? Yeah, he can do that too, even if he isn’t the most emotional person. Generally speaking, he likes kissing and cuddling, but he doesn’t need to be all over you all the time. The occasional kiss and cuddle is alright, but too much skin contact has the potential to annoy him.

Y earning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

Since he knows that being distracted on the battlefield could lead to him never seeing you again, he tends to not think about you. However, once he has some downtime he likes to replay some of the moments he shared with you. The time you accidentally hurt yourself breaking a mug as he patched you up or when you fell asleep in his arms, he thinks about those moments more often than he’d like to admit. He doesn’t really keep a memento of you, you’re not even on his phone’s background, but he remembers you well. Your smiles, your tears, the way you’d hug him so tightly when he’d come home. He just thinks about you and those thoughts lull him to sleep.

Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if he has killed for you several times already. To answer the question, yes. He’s killed for you, he’s broken the law several times for you. He runs his own PMC, he could technically go to war for you as well. And he would if someone were to take you away from him. He could likely destroy a small nation for you. While he won’t do it if you ask him to, if someone were to kidnap you, he would not hesitate to fight for you. Your safety is a priority of his, so he will do what he can to make sure you’re by his side, forever and always.

#cod #cod x reader #cod nikolai #cod nikolai x reader #I think about Nikolai more often than I'd like to admit #I like to think he gives great dad hugs #I like to think about Nikolai giving me a big hug and some advice and some reassuring words #he's an older man he knows what he's talking about #I usually think about him when I'm sad and it heals me almost every time #sometimes all you need are some encouraging words from an older man who won't prey on you #same goes for Graves actually. Price too #sometimes all you need is some praise from an older man who knows what he's talking about #not many men fit that criterion though. but being praised is nice still. like hell yeah I'm doing well #I feel like Nikolai would make for such a great father figure #I love my father but I'd also love to have Nikolai as my father in all honesty #I'm also glad people are finally sending in more characters again #writing about the same three characters all the time is kind of rough #but yeah keep the requests coming. I'll get to them eventually

[olive-riggzey]

Look, I’m just saying that I think Crick Wellsley and Rondo Ravus would get along really well.

This one’s been sitting in my drafts for a while oops but I finally drew those first two “panels”

#Just a heads up if you Google literally any of these characters you will be bombarded with spoilers so stay safe out there please #I always forget how tall Rondo is and then I draw him and it hits me like a truck #He's like a whole head taller than Sazantos according to the official art so I actually drew him kind of short on accident #ZootaDoodles #Octopath #Octopath 2 #Octopath II #Octopath Traveler #Octopath Traveler 2 #Octopath Traveler II #Octopath CotC #Octopath Traveler CotC #Crick Wellsley #Rondo Ravus #Temenos Mistral #Sazantos #Sazantos the Flameguard #I feel like Temenos would be the only person that could make Sazantos feel uneasy because that man is way too composed for his own good #I'm still getting used to drawing most of these characters but I'll be comfortable doodling them eventually the way I am with Rondo

[dazais-guardian-angel]

kinda wild to me that one of the most compelling aspects of both Chuuya and Kunikida's characters to me, that I never really see talked about, is how they're heavily set on a doomed crash course towards complete and utter destruction, and how I am so, so worried for them both.....

#bungou stray dogs #been thinking a lot about chuuya lately (shocking for me i know (said with no sarcasm truly lmao it is rare for me)) #cause of the 15 manga and also playing the fucking jeht quest in genshin impact ugh (where's the one dual genshin bsd fan who Understands) #but like this pressure has been building up for chuuya for so long due to being used and manipulated by all these people #first the sheep then mori then verlaine then still mori now #he was groomed since childhood just like dazai #but unlike dazai he didn't have an oda to help him get out of the mafia........ he's still stuck there #and his personality is different from dazai's. dazai was more self-aware imo (but still a groomed emotionally abused kid don't get me wrong #but chuuya's whole thing is needing to belong and wanting a leader to be loyal to but ending up in positions of leadership himself #which makes him feel pressured but he accepts and stifles any negative feelings just because he wants to belong #and all this crushed him with the events in the light novels and yeah he went through character growth but he's...... Still In The Mafia... #and that fucking scene asagiri added to the cannibalism stage play i don't think hardly anyone even knows about bc IT'S NOT DISCUSSED ANYMO #where mori emotionally manipulates him with the flags!!! and it deeply hurts him!!! and he presumably deals with that shit all the time!!! #it is WORRISOME. it WORRIES ME okay. #chuuya doesn't have anyone who can save him from the mafia (dazai is in no position to okay; it's all he can do just to try to save himself #and it's so so scary. it spells awful things for him. #didn't asagiri say he'd have a rough path or something??? and he added that fucking scene in the play!!! it haunts me!! #i fully expected this shit to hit a turning point in the meursault arc but we can't have nice things i guess #and as for kunikida a;lskdfl (took me this long to get to him oop) literally the ending of Entrance Exam (the novel) is just #One Big Foreshadowing for Kunikida's downfall #he's compared to the azure king for a reason. Sasaki saw the azure king in him for a reason. it's fucking worrying!!!!! #there hasn't really been anything like that since in the manga (just like for chuuya lol ugh) but he's TERRIBLE at coping with his trauma #and it only gets more apparent once shit hit the fan in the doa/hunting dogs/meursault arc #it's not good!!! i'm worried for kunikida too!!!! #even if the manga isn't focusing on this these worries are always in the back of my mind man #both kunikida and chuuya are doomed to hit some kind of breaking point eventually and i await those moments with dread yet anticipation #i want dazai to be able to save kunikida from the despair being too good a person brings the way he couldn't save oda #and chuuya.... if we get a scene with him & mori mirroring the one in dark era where dazai finds out that mori orchestrated the kids' death #oh man i think i'll fucking die (give it to me i need to cry)

[anachronistic-falsehood]

pac: i was arrested by foolish and i liked it

fit, extremely confused but not willing to kinkshame his "roommate": you know what if you enjoy it i'm glad you do 👍

#amiga....... #pac 🤝 cellbit #having a thing for cops!!! i guess!!! #it's the prison trauma it's the prison trauma for sure #it's like. if something is a bad memory for pac he convinces himself he likes it so it feels like it was his choice and he kind of wants- #it to happen again because he wants to feel in control of those bad experiences and and and #sorry. i'll make a longer post on that eventually #he's so fucking interesting to me <3 #qsmp #liveblogging

[oh-meow-swirls]

it's kind of weird to me that they didn't bother releasing sushi and tempura internationally at all but at the same time i'm kinda glad they didn't cuz like. yo-kai watch was financially failing in the west by the time 3 released. i feel like if they had released sushi and tempura the franchise would've completely tanked before we got sukiyaki which would've sucked. honestly if anything i feel like it's more surprising that we got all three versions of 2 instead of them just releasing psychic specters but tbf i think yo-kai watch was doing well in the west when 2 released. 2 is just inexplicably what killed the franchise despite being a masterpiece-

#puppy rambles #yo-kai watch #yw3 #yw2 #idk. i have a lot of thoughts on this stuff #still upset i didn't find out 3 released in america until a while after it did :/ could've gotten a physical copy if i'd found out earlier #but alas. i'm just stuck with a boring digital version. i mean the digital versions of yo-kai watch games are better but like. still #i never got maginyan in blasters even though i could've. the code or whatever was on the receipt but my mom bought it for me #from the nintendo website. and i don't think she checked it and i don't think i found out that was where it was until a bit after i got it- #i did get machonyan and jibanyan t/komasan t's codes entered though so i can get them on any playthrough now #unless i put the sd card in another 3ds since apparently it's system-based instead of sd card based??? which is really stupid #but you can probably bypass that with cfw and i do plan on modding my 3ds eventually #it'll just be a process cuz i don't have an sd card slot on my computer and idk if my moms would be willing to help #so i'll probably have to get a separate sd card reader or whatever. which i do think my moms would be okay with i mean #it's my system and they're cool with piracy lfskdjfjkfsdkljfd- #my moms are so cool <3 i just wish i could get them interested in yo-kai watch but they don't seem to care lfskdjfkjsfdjlksfd- #they determined the battle system doesn't sound fun but i might've just described it badly #i mean tbf. it is very annoying sometimes. especially when my healer just will not heal the other yo-kai #''DO YOUR FUCKING JOB TATTLECAST STOP LOAFING'' -me playing 2 #that being said if 1's switch port ever releases in america i am totally playing it on the tv #i WILL force my moms to watch me play funni ghost game whether they like it or not /lh #if we do ever get 1's switch port i hope they make it a collection of some kind with 2 and 3 remasters too i would buy that in a heartbeat #i mean obviously i will buy any american-released yo-kai watch stuff in a heartbeat aside from maaaaaybe y-school heroes #(i'm sorry y-school heroes fans i just cannot get into it. from concept alone it sounds like i would not enjoy it) #maybe sangokushi too if we ever get that but i feel like we probably won't #idk if the franchise it's a crossover with is popular enough in america for that #i hope we get more english yo-kai watch content once ghost craft releases. kinda feel like it's testing the waters tbh #i know it's seemingly just a spiritual successor but still #i do hope that it being a spiritual successor doesn't mean yo-kai watch is over. i doubt that it will since like #punipuni still gets semi-frequent updates

[delisocks]

does anyone else ever stop and think how fucked it must be to exist as holly lambert? of course we've seen a million times and a million different ways how walt destroyed flynn on a molecular level, because walt was flynn's everything, multitudes within a man. but to holly, walt was nothing at all: he's the shadow of a shadow, a cool hand on her forehead and a dusty camcorder. she will always be seen first and foremost thru the lens of choices made and people gone before she was old enough to understand being seen at all. holly is defined more by a negative space in the world than her place within it, fleeting impressions left by a dead god. she was an accomplice from the moment she was born. she never asked for this and she's never known anything else!! like help!!!!

#sorry i am full waxing poetic with this one but gotta talk some about the Guys or i'll go insane. sorry #there's also something to be said for the thematic parallels with mr. driscoll's eventual child who he definitely has and is real #but that's mostly my bias because i am always a little sillay and self-indulgent and it's another post someday #but like. yeah. holly will never be able to fully live outside the mold her father left on the world and i think that's kind of fucked up #breaking bad can be such a fucking thing about parenthood and legacy and it makes my tummy feel weird #the children are the greatest casualty of gilliverse et cetera #walter white #flynn white #holly white #breaking bad #analysis

[seahydra]

Uu...

I feel so demotivated lately... Like I'm experiencing a crash of some kind. I don't want to do anything... I'm always so tired and everything feels off. What's not exactly helpful either is the feeling that I'm being annoying/bothering whenever I post here shfhsjdh ... I've been trying to at least comfort myself via self shipping but honestly whenever I get really into feeling like this it becomes hard to imagine myself as worth loving in any way.

I feel like 🐛🌧 ... ... I hope things will get better soon

#atari.vnt #Sorry ;w; I'm sure I'll feel much better eventually #But for now I just feel so weird. Exhausted and becoming hard on myself too much I think #one of few occasions where saying 'wife save me' is like actually serious HFJWGFHAH #I will try to push thru though 🏋💥!!! I'm got this I promise #It's kind of funny though as of recent it's been like 'it's so over' -> 'It's my special daaayy 🎉' -> 'it's SO over'

[the-cookie-of-doom]

Sometimes I forget I have a sociology degree and then I have a subject like this one, where I'm debating (in favor of) the importance of cultural competency in health care, and then I'm like oh yeah. I'm actually semi-qualified to speak on this subject.

#cookie speaks #i forget about it bc i still think of myself as an english major #but my degree is social and behavior science #with an unintentional focus on culture studies #i just took a lot of weird classes and eventually racked up enough credits for a degree #but then I'll be having a discussion/debate with someone in my class #that doesn't have any kind of background int his field #and it's like oh #i cna actually site this research off the top of my head? #the fuck?? #it's a super weird feeling #kind of like going off in the GC earlier and realizing i internalized a LOT of information this semester #like i actually learned about all these complex medical conditions enough to speak about them with some kind of authority? #the fuck? #anyway yeah #maybe college wasn't such a waste of time #looks like i did learn things

[itischeese]

anyways i fully believe that canonically madara and/or zetsu made her do it with a slave seal because the alternative leaves me too salty to mention.

YESSSSS. I'm of the opinion that while the seal didn't fully control her, it wrecked her ability to think rationally and also probably made her mind fixate on the idea that she had to die or everyone else would.

Either way, the seal having an Effect on her that pushed her to do it makes so much more sense than her (canonically incredibly intelligent and compassionate) not considering the danger she would leave Kakashi in, or the fact that their teacher is a teleporting seal master...

#especially given her feelings for kakashi??? #and being a med-nin #trained with the idea that she's supposed to be the Last to Die #(which is stupid but I digress) #ugh there are so many things about rin's death that I am SO salty about #a lot of things kind of feel like Kishimoto designed minato before realising he'd made minato too powerful for canon events to make sense #and just decided to ignore the things minato could do??? #I'll make a post about it eventually #but like... kakashi canonically has a way to call minato to his exact spot... #and minato just doesn't tell him what it is before kanabi???? #and (to my knowledge; correct me if I'm wrong) it's just not brought up during the sanbi??? #when they Most need minato there???? #nohara rin #naruto #nurt #nohara rin meta #kakashi

[kyouka-supremacy]

Mmmhh...

#(Basically rant on my last two posts) #I know I've said it before and sorry for coming off as annoying– #but I really wish we still had a central bsd blog on Tumblr like fy-bungoustraydogs or bsd-central or things of the kind. #I think now everyone rushes to post news first. And although there's merit to it in knowing news as soon as they happen‚ #in the long run the death of this kind of central official content ***fan*** blogs is such a huge loss of fandom spaces‚ #especially for the archiving purposes they solved. Especially today that T/witter and G/oogle have basically become unusable. #Literally. Literally. I've been doing official content archiving since I was 11 #(because that's the very specific kind of mental illness I have) #and let me tell you that the quality of web search and especially reverse image search only got worse– #in a way that is very evident and noticeable. Which is crazy tbh and not how things should work. #If anyone would like to start a bsd-central kind of blog I'll be the first one to follow. #Actually if anyone actually wants to establish it feel free to contact me and I'll be more than happy to share the resources I have!!!! #It just needs to be something multi-modded for a series of reasons I won't get into right now #I just can't personally do it (not as main admin at least) because that would be modding my FIFTH active bsd blog– #and that's a little too much even for me. #On top of some ethical concerns I have regarding whether it'd be fair for me to mod a fandom central bsd blog– #when I feel like I can't genuinely share the same amount of love for the franchise other fans share #On top of. You know. Getting a degree eventually hopefully. #Then years after the blog has been solidly enstablished and aquired enough credibility it could even open a free donations found to invest– #in buying and scanning and releasing bsd content that hasn't been shared yet like the guidebooks or illustration books or everything else– #for everyone to see... #The dream. (Is realistically never going to happen) (Won't stop me from daydreaming about it every day) #((Still salty I couldn't afford the guidebooks only due to the shipment prices. I *would* have scanned and uploaded them.)) #That was a long and idealistic rant. Kyotag out #Edit: *Modding my SIXTH bsd blog #Apparently I mod so many blogs I lost count of them

[tianhai03]

before i go to bed, here’s a couple of colorings C submitted in the past few days!

#the bg for the baby twins one is very simple but i like it :) #devil may cry #dante(dmc) #vergil(dmc) #fan's colorings #from now on its ramblings for C again so you guys can stop reading <3 #hey C!! please dont feel like youre bothering me with your submissions; youre not at all! #i would keep posting your stuff individually but i just think it'll be a little better to post them in batches thats all #i dont want you to feel pressured into doing more but i dont want you to feel bad for doing too much either #i just want you to have fun doing it; submit it whenever you feel like it; and i'll post them eventually i promise #im really sorry if what i said last time made you feel like i was annoyed with you; i swear i wasnt! #i genuinely do enjoy looking at what you do it's always fun to see what kinda things people can do when inspired by stuff ive made #if you wanna take a break thats totally fine! i'll be here to post your submissions whenever youre ready again #also; your dad's words are very kind!! please thank him for me!!! #i'll be off to bed now; please take care :) #allyart

[causticsunshine]

wanted to share the sentiment here too but didn't feel like rewriting the whole thing lmao so here are some Thoughts i had last night on twt regarding my weird relationship with my art whilst being in fandom:

i know i've definitely talked about this kind of thing in the past but it's been a very recent development that i actually understand what's been going on with me and why i've picked up this habit of letting a fandom i'm in / a piece of media i'm really into fully dictate my creative drive. like, just because i'm very interested or invested in something, it doesn't mean i necessarily feel inspired by it or inspired by it for the duration that it holds my interest, and forcing myself to create relative art or fic or what have you for the vested interest(s) has both dampened my desire to be creative as well as my imagination. i know a lot of people can be super into something or a few random things at once and that can keep them going for ages without them running out of ideas, but in my case, things that hold my interest aren't always synonymous with my creativity and i'm just now learning that despite how obvious it seems!

i also imagine i'm not the only person who functions like this but i personally haven't seen it spoken about very often (if it even needs to idk), so i wanted to bring it up / talk about it a little bit :)

#art things #alex talks #if you've been following me for awhile or at least saw this coming before i did: does it not at all seem obvious lmao #i think the guilt i was feeling for so long over it being my 'obligation' as an artist in any fandom to only cater to fandom was also #exacerbated by some kind of impostor syndrome like... wait why is this so easy for other people also into x but not me? #makes sense now why i seem to lose steam so fast when i'm making work for one thing at a time only #i need to spice it up!! even if i come back to something eventually i can't force it! #thank u adhd my behated for another extension of my executive dysfunction but i guess #i will learn to work with it :) shedding the guilt has been the hardest part and ik i'll still struggle at times to be inspired or feel #like i need to be doing something specific to cater to other people rather than go with what drives me at the moment but #that's ok! that's life! #here's to me making a lot more art / general creative stuff 🫡 i hope the utter randomness of what i have in store #appeases at least one other person 🫶 #sidenote 1d fics will still be eventually finished but 1d art.... we'll have to see bc of the ipad wipe :') #also haven't been in the mood for awhile tbh! been into another stuff and less generally hyperfixated (thank god) #anyway onto better days and more creation!!

[toasteaa]

Honestly? Been feeling a little lonely today ngl

#vent.tea #I didn't want to say anything about this tbh because everything has been mostly normal but #It's nothing on here and really all irl stuff because my fiancè and I were supposed to be hanging out since I was busy yesterday #And we started hanging out but then he got a text and got on his computer for something and kinda just left me alone for an hour or so #and I was trying to not be upset over it because I know he wanted to work on programming but it was the fact that we were hanging out #and he just hardlocked on his programming and then came back out with a headache. #And this happens so often nowadays and he feels bad afterwards but I never want to pull him away from it #because then he'll just be on discord talking about programming with his friends the whole time we're hanging out. #And I get it. There are times me and my friends spend all day talking but he's made comments about me being on my phone #so I thought. You know. He'd try a little harder to not get pulled into it when we promised we'd hang out together. #Ugh I'm sorry. I normally don't talk about this kind of stuff and I never like bringing my irl sad emotions onto this blog but. #I don't know. Just that gross lonely feeling that's kinda settled on me. #I'll be okay eventually. Convince myself to draw or write something. That does usually cheer me up tbh. #I'll delete this later. Just needed an outlet to get these feelings out.

[cerbreus]

Gonna have to wait for her to post the final pics she took, so just some screenshots of the vid she posted but!!!!! my first sleeve is finished today!!!! ♥ it turned out amazing, I'm soooo fucking stoked ❤💕

#already got the second sleeve all set up for this fall too x) #i think. if ic an get everything done by her from here on i will LOVE to like. if she can do my chest piece i'd be pretty stoked too #genuinely this turned out incredible i'm so so so happy #also lmfao it feels strange to call it a full sleeve bc it kind of is? but it's kind of a half sleeve? x'D #i'll prob get the underside filled in eventually #but i love the negative space rn! and also! this required like. no contorting or uncomfortable positions so that was nice #ahhhh dude i love getting tattoos #my stuff #everyone should get tattoos but like definitely just spend some time looking at portfolios first

[falderaletcetera]

I'm only a few episodes into jodie whittaker era (my first time), but thirteen has a lightness to her that's reminding me of nine and, not gonna lie, I'm tearing up a bit. and I'll be really interested to see if the comparison holds when the stakes get more personal.

#doctor who #it's a really weird transition from twelve who I was Not a great fan of and who felt pretty casually dark a lot of the time #nine (imo) was dark inside this very deliberate and consistent kindness and lightness and I'm looking to see if that's what's going on here #though I'm unsure yet if thirteen is lighter (and tbh politer) or if that's my own biases. withholding judgement for now. #also an interesting transition from twelve-era: I'm getting the feeling we're back to a different style of space worldbuilding with this #which I'm very interested in even if the decision to establish that there are white supremacists in the far future is.......... #really not my favourite. I'm english that's how I express deep distaste. #it was fun for like five seconds to compare that guy to jack harkness and notice the differences #but nobody punched this guy in the face and dragged him off to face some sort of justice so it felt a bit unfinished you know? #I would have settled for seeing him suddenly face to face with a dinosaur with the camera cutting away mid-swear. given the circumstances. #(I have perhaps been watching too many shows where repugnant people get punched in the face! this is the opposite of a problem.) #that was a tangent upon a tangent; apologies #falderal speaks #hi I'm still half-asleep and very distracted at any given time but i'll figure out how not to be eventually <3

[dilfsuzanneyk]

listening to nin by no means makes me feel better if anything it makes me feel worse

#however. if i feel bad enough eventually i'll either cry or scream #either way i get some kind of release #the tds album is like my last resort when it comes to trying to stay alive lmfao #everyone say thank you trent reznor #nin again #vex rambles