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all1e23 · 5 years

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Heart & Soul [Pt.16]

Chapter: Only the Heavens Know

Summary: True feelings and intentions are relieved.

Warnings: Violence as always for this series.

A/N: Soft Bucky coming your way. My fics are not to be saved or posted on any other sites without my written permission. Reblogs are my jam though! Thanks!

There was something uniquely beautiful about catching the sunrise. This bright, breathtakingly beautiful glimmer slowly rising over horizon pushing away the dark until it’s completely vanished leaving only incandesce warmth. Bucky never really understood the beauty in a sunrise until her. He can’t get enough of the way Y/n looked in the morning light. The way the light caught the colors in her hair and the way she scrunched her nose when the sunlight fell onto her face made his chest fill with fervor. If he wasn’t so addicted to the way she looked wrapped up in the moonlight, this would be his favorite look on her; naked and glowing from the morning sun.

It’s a good second.

Sooner or later though they have to get out this bed and back to real life now that her heat was coming to an end. It would help if he had any concept of time lately, he wasn't entirely sure what day it was. He lost count after the third day of her heat the days began to run together after that. Bucky was fairly certain her heat hit on a Tuesday? Maybe it was Wednesday. He really couldn’t be bothered to care what day it was if he was being completely honest. Steve would call him if he missed his shift, no call this morning meant they still have time to just... be.

Hi only focus at the moment was the feeling her body curled around him, the heaviness of her legs on his and the tickle of her hair against his chest. Who knew how long it would be till they were back here like this? Until she was willing to lay with him again. Letting her heat control her actions and emotions was easier than having to face what’s she’s feeling, especially when it was real and Bucky wasn’t fool enough to think a few days of making love would wash away all her fears.

Y/n woke to find Bucky deep in thought but he smiled when she caught his eye and she suddenly felt extremely shy. She returned his smile and hid her face in her pillow. Bucky chuckled quietly and leaned forward to place a soft kiss to her shoulder, trying to coax her out of her hiding place. A week of lying in bed together, he’s had her on nearly every surface in his apartment and she becomes shy because he was watching her sleep?

Bucky could spend the next two hundred years waking up next to her like this and it still wouldn’t be enough time.

Bucky’s fingertips skim along her bare shoulder as the morning light danced along her soft skin, warming the air around them. The only thing on her was her necklace, a shining symbol that she belonged to him and she wanted to belong to him, at least in this small way. Y/n slowly pulled her face out of the pillow still smiling brightly, still half asleep but the sunlight was shining through the window above the bed making her eyes beam as brilliantly as they do every time she looked at him and he couldn’t hold back any longer. He couldn’t hide from her anymore.

Not after this past week and all they shared.

He slid his hand along her neck, cupping her jaw before capturing her lips in a lazy kiss. Bucky let the kiss stay slow and easy, just savoring the feel of her lips like he had the rest of his life to kiss her, and this was the only place he wanted to be. They were in no rush and wanted to keep it that way. He liked gently teasing her lips open, the soft sigh she let out when he parted them with his tongue and the way her whole body softened from his touch.

Bucky slowly pulled back and whispered, his voice still rough from sleep but as gentle as ever, “I love you, Y/n.”

Y/n inhaled sharply as the words replayed over in her head about a hundred times, over and over and over. Yes, she knew he was in love with her no matter how much she tried to deny it. It was plain to see how much he loved her. She might have known since the night he showed up with doughnuts, but it was much different when it was real and not something he dreamed up. It was much scarier when it sat out in the open and was no longer a hopeful possibility, a fantasy she played in her head.

“I know it’s fast and it’s scary. I’m scared every time I’m with you and I’m fuckin’ terrified when I’m not with you, but I want to call you mine, Y/n. I want to wake up to your pretty smile every single morning. I want to be the only one you trust with everything you have. I want to come home after a hard shift and know you’re gonna be here to make it better. I want to share my bad days and my good days with you. I want beautiful babies that are half you and half me. I want you to know how much I love you. Because damn, do I love you babygirl. I want to tell you how much I love you whenever I want. If you want all that with me, I promise I’d never take your heart for granted. Not once.”

“I--“

The words were on the tip of her tongue, teasing her. Perhaps taunting her with their reluctance to leave her lips. Oh, how she wished she could say it back. Y/n would sell her soul to be able to get those three tiny words out, but she couldn’t. There was nothing Y/n could say because she couldn’t give him those things so why tell him that she could? Why tell him how she feels if it will only hurt them both in the long run.

“I can’t…” She whispered.

Bucky didn’t look upset. There was no change in his scent. He only pulled her closer to him and pressed a kiss to her forehead. He didn’t expect her to say it back. It took them this long to get here and he had no doubt that he was going to have to work hard to hear those words from her lips.

Good thing he was willing to put in the long hours needed to earn her love.

“You don’t have to say it back,” Bucky reassured her.

“I didn’t say it to force you to return them. I wanted you to know that I’m not going anywhere and where we go is up to you. You set the pace because I’m all in, baby.”

Y/enclosed her eyes letting a stray tear fall onto her cheek, Bucky wasn’t sure if it was a happy tear or not, but he wiped it away just as quickly as it fell. Tears didn’t belong on that pretty face.

“You have to stop being so perfect Bucky,” She breathed, her voice trembling with effort.

“I’m not I’m perfect. I’m far from it, but I’m a better man, a better Alpha because you walked into my life.”

There was a sharp knock on the front door ruining whatever moment they were about to have and halting whatever Y/n was about to say. Bucky sat up, protectively putting himself in front of her, from where they say on the bed they could see the front door but it didn’t keep unease from reaching the Alpha. Y/n slowly sat up behind him, resting her chin on his shoulder.

“Who could that be?” Y/n wondered out loud.

Their talk would have to continue later.

“I don’t know.” Bucky rumbled as he slipped out of bed and handed her his grey-blue Henley that laid on the floor. She liked that one. It reminded her of his eyes.

“Stay here.”

Y/n frowned at the order and caught the shirt he tossed to her. She didn’t want to just sit there. She wasn’t a fragile Omega that needed her big strong Alpha to open the door and keep her safe from anything out there in the big bad world. Bucky needed to be that for her though, so she slipped his shirt on and pulled on a pair of panties as he zipped his jeans up and strolled to the door.

“Buck!” She snapped. “Put a shirt on! What if it’s another Omega or something?”

He grinned and caught the dark blue NYPD shirt she tossed at him, quickly slipping it on over his head.

“What? You don’t want some Omega staring at me, sweetheart?” She pursed her lips and crossed her arms over her chest in the cutest pout Bucky has ever seen in his life.

“No. Only I get to see you like that.” She muttered possessively.

That had to be the hottest thing she’s ever said to him. Bucky stalked back to her in three long strides and roughly pulled her against him, completely forgetting about the visitor at their door.

“Fuck, baby. When you say things like that…” His hand slipped under his shirt working its way towards up her ribs, but the knock sounded again, longer and louder than last time, and Bucky growled in response -- not in the way she had become fond of either.

“Whoever it is better get the hell out of here quick.”

The door was yanked open by a less than thrilled Bucky and all he found on the other side was Tony, grinning from ear to ear.

“Hey, big guy.” He winked and pushed passed him into their apartment. “I heard things were hugely… success around here last week. Where is your better half?”

“No, please. Come on in Tony,” Bucky deadpanned, unamused by his attempt to tease him. “We aren’t busy or anything. She’s right there.”

Bucky threw a thumb back towards their bed that still a mess of tangled blankets and closed the door behind him. Y/n must have decided a guest was worth getting dressed because she was coming out of the bathroom wearing a pair of jeans. She smiled at Tony, but Bucky could tell it was forced even if Tony couldn’t. Y/n just as aggravated about being interrupted as he was. She flopped on the couch and tucked her legs under as Bucky joined her, he bumped their noses together and she kissed him in return.

Tony glanced around the apartment to avoid the gross display of affection in front of him and also to snoop. He can’t help it! It’s who he is and he’s not going to apologize to checking up on his friend and getting some gossip for the station. Sam will deny it, but he loved hearing any gossip Tony was willing to share. Tony took note of the pile of dishes in the sink and their clothes were thrown about and he smirked.

“Haven’t been doing much besides bumping uglies huh?”

Y/n bit her lip and even without looking she knew Bucky was annoyed. Bucky shook his head and gathered his hair up, haphazardly throwing it a loose bun at the base of his neck.

“Stevie know you’re here?” Bucky asked as he slung his arm over her shoulder, keeping her tucked against him. Where she was safe. If Bucky didn’t know any better, the Omega snuck out while Steve was getting ready for his shift this morning.

“Because there is no way he would want you coming around another Alpha when their mate was coming to the end of their heat.”

Steve trusted Bucky completely, but he still wouldn’t like the idea of Tony coming over during her heat and he would absolutely scold Tony for interrupting their time together. There were certain things that Alphas were particular about and this was one of them. It could be dangerous no matter how good or self-controlled the Alpha was.

Biology was never predictable and it was often stronger when there was a bond like the one Bucky shared with Y/n. Tony cleared his throat and narrowed his eyes at the Alpha.

“No, he doesn’t know where I am. I don’t need his permission to go places, James. I’m an Omega, not a shut-in.”

Bucky hummed with a wide grin. Tony and Y/n were more alike than he first realized. He kissed the side of her head and whispered quiet enough that only she would catch it, “Sounds like someone else I know.”

Y/n playfully shoved her elbow into his side and asked loudly, “Don’t you have somewhere to go? I thought you mentioned getting me something for lunch.”

BUcky raised a brow at her, humor still swimming in the cool blue undertones of his eyes. She was kicking him out! After all that time together and she was kicking him out just because Tony showed up. A week ago, Buck would have gotten jealous, but after having bent her over the chair Tony was currently sitting in he wasn’t feeling so jealous anymore.

“Whoever said Alphas were the ones in charge never met the two of you.”

Bucky cupped her jaw and kissed her, a tad bit possessively now that someone else was in their space and the faint smell of her heat still lingered in her scent and the air around her.

Tony just rolled eyes and mumbled, “Alphas.”

Bucky stood and gathered his boots that were still thrown by the foot of the bed, where most of their clothes were still laying. Most of the apartment was littered with clothes from that first night together and he couldn’t be bothered to be embarrassed. For as long as it took to earn her trust, to let him in as much as she has, Bucky was more than okay with the state of their apartment at the moment. He got his jacket and boots slipped on, phone and keys in his pocket and he placed a kiss to the top of her head as if his lips were already aching and desperate to be back on her.

“I’ll be back in twenty minutes.”

Bucky met her eyes and she could see a hint of red burning around the blue, but she was more focused on the pleading panic gleaming back at her. “Please don’t go out anywhere doll. You’re on the last day of your heat and I – Just don’t leave the apartment, Okay?”

She nodded but he shook his head.

“Need you to say it, sweetheart. Promise me,” Bucky begged quietly even though he knew Tony could hear him.

Y/n leaned up from her spot on the couch and kissed him quickly, aware that Tony was pretending to play on his phone, but he was very much paying attention and taking count of every word and action.

“I won’t go anywhere Bucky. I won’t leave unless you’re with me,” Yn swore, sincerely.

Bucky looked over at Tony as he made his way to the door. “Try not to cause too much trouble while I’m gone.”

“Yeah, yeah. As if we would cause trouble. We are the epitome of well-behaved Omegas.” Tony winked at him. Bucky grumbled something about calling Steve under his breath and shut the door behind him, leaving the two Omegas to talk alone.

Tony grinned at her which returned his grin with an added glare, she wasn’t fond of the look he was sporting at the moment. It was a cocky, neon flashing sign that read I told you so in hundred-foot letters. Y/n didn’t need him to say anything more about it. She knew what he was thinking, that only a few months ago she swore up and down she would never let some Alpha tell her what to do or get close enough with to her that they would be sharing a bed. Now here she was letting some Alpha knot her till her legs trembled and let him tell her when she could and couldn’t leave the apartment they were currently sharing. Well, Bucky wasn’t telling really. He was asking, and he wasn’t just some Alpha.

He was hers -- her Bucky.

“Okay,” He clapped his hands together and wiggled his brows. “I think I’ve waited long enough. You two have been holed up in here all week and it reeks of… your heat.”

Tony smirked at her the way she ducked her head to avoid eye contact, but Tony was a tad selfish and he wasn’t about to let her off the hook.

“Spill it, sister!”

“I don’t know what you want me to say, Tony…” She shrugged as she picked at some imaginary fuzz on her shirt, thinking over the last few days.

“He was… sweet. Gentle. Even when he got a little rougher it was still tender. I don’t know. It was different from before. It’s never been like that for me. Not ever. I practically had to beg him to share my heat because he didn’t want me to regret it and after the first time, when we… well, you know. It was like…”

Y/n didn’t know how to explain it or where to begin to try. It was still confusing, and she really hadn’t had a chance to examine it any closer. Y/n was hoping Tony understood or would drop it and asked her to compare his size to some random vegetable again. That was easier to talk about than her feelings at the moment.

“It was like something warm and tingly washed over you? Like you could feel something in your head and heart and your bones just –“ He snapped his fingers “– Snap into place? As if there was a piece of you that you didn’t know was missing and it all finally came together?”

Y/n nodded slowly and gulped. For some reason, saying it like that made her terrified. It all seemed so much bigger than simply sharing her heat and she wasn’t sure she was ready for more.

“Where’s your mark? Bucky seems like the type of Alpha to mark your inner thigh while he’s already down there if you know what I mean. Although when it comes to you, he wants everyone to know you’re taken, right? He wants everyone to know you belong to him.” Tony grinned at her fidgeting in her seat once again, he was right and they both knew it.

“Tony, there’s no mark.” She tilted her head so he could see her neck, completely bare. “No mark.”

Tony leaned forward and pulled her necklace out of her shirt and smirked, letting it hang out in the open. He had noticed the chain when he first came in. It wasn’t like her to wear something after just getting out of bed. Hell, he hadn't known her to wear any necklace or jewlery since they met.

“No mark, huh? Looks like one to me.”

Y/n groaned and tucked it back in her shirt, clutching it to her chest like it was the most important thing she owned, guarding it like she was guarding a piece of heart.

“Wait… It’s just the necklace?” Tony clarified. “You really didn’t bond?”

“Of course we didn’t bond!” She shirked. “Why on earth would you think that?”

“Uh, because you said you felt the same way I did when Steve and I bonded. Your suppressants failed. He’s scented you through blockers. I mean, should I go on?”

“Tony I swear to the Gods – we are not true mates! That’s. Not. Real.” She sat up and leaned towards him finally meeting his eyes.

“I know you and Steve have this wonderful bond and he’s amazing and all that-- It doesn’t prove that your true mates and Bucky and I… None of that is proof of anything. We aren’t true mats because it’s not a real thing.”

“I’m sorry. Wait. Wait.” Tony held up his hand to stop the nonsense from pouring out of her mouth.

“You’re seriously going to sit there and tell me you still don’t believe your true mates? You still don’t believe that Bucky is your true mate? The blue-eyed Alpha that jumped up and ran to get you lunch because you said you were hungry? That Alpha isn’t your true mate?”

“Just because--“

“He. Triggered. Your heat. While on. Suppressants.”

“That doesn’t mean anything!” Y/n argued, loudly. “There are lots of reasons they can fail.”

Tony rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest. If that was how she wanted to play things Tony was prepared to debunk every other reason other than the obvious.

“Okay, fine. Did you leave them in the heat?”

“No.”

“Are you on antibiotics?”

“Well, no.”

“Skip a dosage? Took them at different times?”

“No…”

“How about this. Did you spend several weeks in a tiny space with an Alpha who makes your knees weak? One that happens to be your true mate?” He ignored the glare he was getting and continued. “Oh, look! We figured it out. That’s the one!”

“Tony…” Tony sighed at the disbelief in her voice and pinched the bridge of his nose before taking both of her hands in hers.

“Okay, so let’s just say he’s not your true mate. Which is ridiculous, but let’s just do this for shits and giggles. Even if he wasn’t and true mates are some kind of fairytale would being bonded to Bucky really be that bad?”

Her fingers tightened around Tony’s hands as she glanced down at the necklace hanging around her neck. Would it be so bad to be bonded to Bucky?

“He loves you. I know he does. Everyone knows he does. He would never hurt you. He looks at you like you created the heavens for crying out loud. So, the worst that could happen if you bond? You would end up bonded to someone who is worthy of being your true mate who treats you the way you deserve to be treated. Just think about buttercup.”

“I’ve got to get going. I was just here for juicy details before my shift. Clint’s been asking me non-stop and I’m still in trouble for sticking my nose in your business. Plus, I have a sneaking suspicion your Alpha ratted me out.” He rolled his eyes making her giggle. Tony squeezed her hands and kisses her forehead as he hops off the chair.

“You better keep your ass in this apartment. You hear me? You’re going to have more than a pissed off Alpha on your hands if you don’t.”

She lifted her left hand and waved it back and forth in concession, her white flag. “I concede. I won’t be leaving. Besides I would like to be here when gets back if you must know.”

“I don’t doubt that. I noticed you were walking a little funny. Maybe take a minute to stretch before he gets back. Then go put something skimpy on and wait for Bucky to come home, hm? And for the love of Gods, let him bond with you. He’s been dying to be yours for months.”

“Goodbye, Tony!” Tony grinned and winked on his way out the front door. “Lock this door behind me.”

“Tony, I’m going to call Steve.”

“Oh, my Gods. He’s made you so mean.”

Tony flipped the bottom lock and pulled the door shut, leaving her alone with thoughts of bonding and true mates swirling around her head. Maybe Tony was right. How bad would it be to be bonded to Bucky? True mates or not, he would be a good Alpha. She didn’t doubt that, but then again, she thought Brock was a good Alpha at one point and bonding was so… permanent. What would happen when Bucky realized he didn’t really love her. That’s what she was really worried about. Bucky wasn’t capable of hurting her, but he could come to see how unworthy she truly was.

Her phone chimed from the end table by the bed and she jumped up, sprinting over the bed to get it. A huge grin spread on her face when she saw who it was from.

Buck: On my way back babydoll. I’ll see you in seven. Preferably with only my shirt on?

It was silly really. Bucky didn’t have to send her anything, but he didn’t want her to panic when he opened the door, and just seeing that simple little message had her heart fluttering. He always went out of his way to make sure she was okay, that he wasn’t hurting her even if it was on accident and he would do positively anything to make her smile -- like teasing her about his shirt.

No, it wouldn’t be so bad to be bonded to Bucky. They had plenty of time to talk about bonding though. Right now, she was going to take things slow and let Bucky love her.

After all, that was all she’s really wanted since the moment they met.

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