#i just want to see his demi ass panic over his life's first one night stand!!!

[unnecessarilygrandiose]

i have this fic idea but i haven't written anything creatively in EIGHTEEN MONTHS and i am afraid i forgor how to write

#also there's a couple other reasons why i can't write it but tbh i can overcome them. so really there's no excuse #anyways the idea is #and bear with me here #that next episode opens with eddie waking up a little bit confused trying to take in his surroundings #and realise he's Not at his home #and we see whatever it is that happened hit him all at once #camera pans around #and boom. he's naked in bed with marisol #BWHAHAH I THINK I'M VERY FUNNY #i just want to see his demi ass panic over his life's first one night stand!!! #maybe show up at buck's later trying to seek reassurance because how the hell were you doing this *regularly* man wtf i'm dying here #and buck is trying to be helpful but also having the time of his life because living with the woman whose babydad you are is hard #and his boy best friend is giving him good comic relief #anyways manifesting #911 spoilers #um i guess?

[championselect]

Lostbelt #1 Thoughts & Headcanons

Mash was at an all-time high of being scared throughout this Lostbelt. It had been a year since she left the front lines, and she’s clearly struggling to fight since Sir Galahad basically abandoned her. She was ready to help in whatever capacity possible, but damn if she didn’t miss being able to shield her Master from any and all danger. 

She felt so many different things at once when she was finally deployed with the Ortinax Armor-- sad that she’s fighting this battle alone this time without the Perfect Knight; anxious that she might not make it in time; worried that her time away from the battlefield dulled her senses and fighting spirit; reflective of the time she gave everything she had, including her life, to block an Ars Armadel Salomonis; happy to finally be able to be reliable to Master and to Chaldea as a whole. The mental burden still weighs heavy on the Shielder, but now she was able to cast it aside to once again be a soul fighting for Proper Human History. Da Vinci’s and Musashi’s pep talk about it very much helped in steeling her resolve to pick up the shield one more time; the lightning from Ivan the Terrible’s mammoth was extremely hard to block, but with a resolute mind (and the unlocking of Mold Camelot) it was nothing compared to what Goetia threw at her.

You used to be able to do this, and now you can’t. Before, you were able to give it everything you ha, but now, it feels like you just don’t have anything left to give. And that right there says it all-- you guys never had to fight a battle where the whole world wasn’t rooting for you. ... When you get down to it, these sorts of battles, they’re about making your problems someone else’s. And that’s ALWAYS gonna make your opponents happy, no matter how it shakes out. And now you’re here in this world of polar extremes, and now you’ve never experienced that. I’d be more surprised if you WEREN’T having a hard time of it.                                                                           - Miyamoto Musashi

You and Galahad are different people. He only really allowed you to give form to his power... You were borrowing it from him. Thanks to your experience in battle, you grew into your own as a Knight of the Shield. The person you were when you fused with that Heroic Spirit and the person you are now are pretty much different completely different people at this point. 

Galahad may be gone, but YOU are a full-fledged Demi-Servant in your own right now. From here on, you’ll need to develop and hone your own way of fighting.                                                                           - Leonardo Da Vinci

Combine this with the lingering idea that the circumstances of victory are drastically different, and at first she was even scared of putting on the exoskeleton. She was at a loss for words when she first realized that eliminating the Lostbelt meant everyone in it will disappear as well; in essence, they will have blood on their hands. They’re committing genocide, essentially. Da Vinci had to calm Mash down a tad bit as she was on the verge of a panic attack when it finally sunk in. It was a hard pill to swallow, and it took time for Mash to understand that this time, it’s survival of the fittest. For Proper Human History to continue, they have to clear evolution’s path of dead-ends. For the Crypters (Kadoc in particular for this Lostbelt) it may seem selfish, but their own world was on the line here. They didn’t fight tooth and nail over seven singularities and a rain of stars just to have the world be wiped clean of what they fought for and have be overwritten by an entity not even from this world. 

This hits Mash especially hard, as she was originally part of the A Team alongside the seven! She was the crowning glory of a extremely controversial and morally dense project, a laboratory experiment-- and yet they considered her as one of them... Well, at least, some of them anyway. She vaguely remembers the moment Romani kicked Beryl out of the ICU ward in Chaldea after he broke in out of curiosity for her; Mash then would have no reaction, but now she still shudders thinking about what he was possibly planning.

She can’t help but sympathize with Kadoc, even if they’re opposing sides. She cannot bring herself to hate him, and may even admire him for the grit and perseverance he himself had shown. She was told of all his clawing and studying to make his efforts be recognized by the other members of the A Team. He busted his ass to be recognized in someway, and it was about to be with the Rayshift missions. And then THAT happened.

However, she definitely cannot and will not forget about the things Kadoc said against her Master. She knows this much: the A Team may have been the best Chaldea had to offer, but from what she’s seeing now through Kadoc, the one thing that sets them apart was distinction. They were mages first and foremost, but Master was just a normal human wanting to survive. Looking back, there could be no better representative to send in a battle for humanity’s future. They weren’t in it for the glory, the recognition, the legacy that will be left behind-- all they wanted to do was live.

...stand up, dammit. Stand up and fight for it. Go on and brag about how you can smile in your world, and tell us why it should be the one to survive. Be proud. Hold your head up high, and fight for your weak little world! Don’t you dare go losing to a world like this: a world whose only virtue is strength! .... ....if our world IS wrong... and, if there’s any meaning to be found in our lives... lives that are just one hardship after another... I think that’s we were able to learn there’s a better place-- a world filled with happiness, a world that’s right...                                                                          - Patxi

Those words may have been meant for her Master as a wake-up call to not lose the will to fight for her world, but it also lit a new flame within Mash’s heart as well. Patxi’s final, dying words will forever ring in her mind as long as she fights for Proper Human History, and she will keep reminding herself of its meaning. 

To her, to fight for their history is to finally earn a chance to see the outside world-- to see a vast, blue sky in a different country. To experience the many wondrous things outside the walls of Chaldea Doctor Romani had taught her. To earn a peaceful life amongst the masses of humanity. To have moments of weakness when things are low. To fight for something one cannot bear to lose. To scream to the heavens all the anguish a heart can bear.

To smile. To cry. To be human. To live.

Mash would probably have a few sleepless nights right after resolving the Russian Lostbelt, flashing nightmares of what may have been had she and her Master not had the will to fight. Da Vinci probably helped out in consoling and soothing her psyche, like she did in the pep talk. But after then, she goes back to her regular routine-- but each one of her responsibilities enacted with a new appreciation and sense of purpose. She doubles down on trying to lighten the mood, on training to be as strong as she can be, on everything, on relishing every moment with Master and the rest of the Chaldean staff (yes, even Goredolf).

She has to, for it’s the only way she can protect the world by wielding a heartfelt shield. 

#i put this under a read more as i can see a lot of my followers playing through still #so i won't spoil anyone the fun #headcanon | mash kyrielight

[fastpacedfreefall]

InuKag Week Day 2: Friends

AN: Yay, day 2! I wrote this whole thing listening to a Demi Lovato song from a Tinkerbell movie on repeat because it’s relevant as fuck. Hope everyone enjoys! Takes place during episode 48, “Return to the Place Where We First Met”

Can also be found here

Inuyasha had a lifetime's worth of practice at keeping a mask up.

He had no choice. His world was not a world that is forgiving of weakness, and it's especially not forgiving of the weakness of a hanyou no matter how young and alone they may be. One of the first things he'd had to learn after his mother's death was how to keep control of himself and his emotions; youkai or human, anyone trying to kill him would quickly get the upper hand if he let himself get worked into a panic. That was something he could absolutely not allow when his mother had worked herself so hard to keep him alive against the worst inclinations of her family.

So he walked a long road of learning to place walls around his heart, and kept his true emotions as far from his sleeves as possible. Struggling to survive hadn't only taught him how to fight; it had taught him how to put a good front in the face of malice and ridicule. He became someone whose smirk shut out everyone and everything, never allowing anyone to get too far past the harsh exterior and inviting the possibility of more abuse. There remained places in his heart that even Kikyou did not manage to touch, and a single arrow cut off the thought that she ever would.

Hanyou didn't have friends. Hanyou didn't have family. There was no place for him in anyone else's world, no matter what steps he took to change that, and the world had kicked him in the teeth to remind him of that.

Then it was fifty years later, and his self-imposed solitude ended with a girl in the shortest kimono he'd ever seen yanking his hair for all it was worth.

Inuyasha had never known someone so infuriating. She was loud, she got in his face, she refused to just stay put in this time until they managed to fix what she broke. She wouldn't let him stay at a distance, engaging with him like they weren't quite literally worlds apart with two entirely different lots in life. Like he wasn't a half-wild beast she was supposed to tolerate and control until their quest was done. It wasn't like his time with Kikyou, constantly burying the parts of his personality he knew she wouldn't approve of, trying to make himself into someone who didn't grow up scrounging for survival with a target on his back. Kikyou had gotten under his skin, but Kagome slammed into him with all the subtlety of one of those 'rockets' she'd tried to explain to him. There was no part of him that she did not engage.

Sometimes he just wanted to take her by the arms and shake her—why is she still here? She should have left his ass weeks, months ago! Didn't she know what she was giving up by staying with him? She had a home, with family that loved her and people that wanted her around and a world where she didn't have to worry about youkai coming after her every day for the shards. She was smart, despite all the complaining he did about her school and how it took her away too much. She could have such a better life in her world, better than anything he could ever offer her. She had to know all of this, even without his resolve to give Kikyou his life in repayment.

And now it all had to end, because he had managed to forget that his life was not actually his own to control.

Walking to the well to tell Kagome goodbye had been one of the worst experiences of his life, right up there with Kikyou's “betrayal” and the night his mother's family threw him into the wilds. He wore a calm, subdued face, but inside his head he'd been screaming since his talk with Kaede. His mind was in meltdown, horrified that he was going to have to give up the first person in either era that made him feel like a person instead of just an animal to be looked down on. When had he gotten so used to her presence? When had he come to rely on the fact that she would just be there, that incessant-seeming smile tracing her lips and making his stomach clench in a weirdly pleasant way? What was he going to do when he couldn't count on her slight, strong grip holding him together when he couldn't muster the will to do it himself anymore?

When did she get in so deep, and why hadn't he noticed sooner the way she'd burrowed herself into his heart?

*

Kagome always thought she knew how friendship worked.

She'd never been overly popular; people didn't clamor to stand at her side like some of her classmates over the years, but she did well enough getting along with other people. She liked people, she liked helping others, so it all ended up simple enough for a small group of companions. Her friends were just normal girls like her, nothing particular to separate them from the sea of sailor-suited girls. Nothing beyond crushes and petty heartbreaks, fashion and popular music and nothing that captured their attention for too long at a time. Simplicity.

In some ways, her friendship with Inuyasha was anything but simple.

How could it be, with youkai and magic and clandestine time-traveling involved? It was so beyond any scope of normal, and it wasn't like she could really hold it up for comparison to her friendships with the girls. How did you explain to someone the kind of bond that forms from watching someone fight for their life, get holes blown through them from monsters four times your size, day after day? How could she tell her school friends about what she felt sitting up to keep him company on nights of the new moon, when the sounds of their sleeping friends faded into the background and the world narrowed down to just the two of them and their silent understanding? Inuyasha was sensitive about it, so she didn't bring it up, but part of her waited eagerly for those nights where she could smile at him unabashedly and see him soften in their little solitude. He rarely softened towards her like that when the others were awake. It was like a secret they kept between them.

Even before any kind of inklings of romance developed, Inuyasha had carved out a place in her soul and made himself a nice little nest there, refusing to budge an inch with all the stubbornness that she'd come to appreciate as much as it drove her insane. How was she supposed to give that up?

How was she supposed to go back to a life as a schoolgirl, like nothing had happened, like there wasn't a whole other world on the other side of the well, with people she'd bonded with deeper than she ever imagined she could? She must have been an idiot to think it would be as easy as just handing back the shards, even though that's exactly what she'd intended just an hour ago—she couldn't even look at the wellhouse without the thought of saying goodbye making her stomach wrench. Even the memory of Inuyasha clutching Kikyou to him like a lifeline paled in comparison to the prospect of letting go of him and the Feudal Era. It took every ounce of self-control to not fly into a screaming fury beneath Goshinboku the way she wanted to, keeping herself rooted silently to the ground with tears drenching the dirt below.

This was the man she loved, the best friend she'd ever had. How could she stand to tell him goodbye?

**

In the end, as it always was, Mama had known just the right thing to say.

She took those words into her bruised heart, and found a reconciliation. She gathered herself, and whisked herself back through the well.

She and he met in the meadow, and the promise to stay they made that day became one more linking strand in their growing bond. One build on the choice to cherish their friendship above all the twisting, complicated feelings that might come to surface.

#inukag week #inukag #inuyasha #kagome higurashi #freefall writes #fanfiction

[ruinedthatfriendship]

Concentrate

A/N: Basically five pages of Dimon wanting to bang each other, but with feelings and introspective backstory? I do think this was supposed to be a two-part sequence I never finished, so sorry if it seems a little abrupt at the end. Also this is OLD, and my writing has (hopefully) improved since then I promise, I’m so sorry...

Hiring Demi Lovato had been a surprisingly easy decision. She represented an important demographic, she was fun and fresh and fit a particular role with her ex Disney star gone bad history. Simon remembered feeling exceedingly pleased with himself after placing the appropriate calls to her manager, relieved that his show would be getting the new judging talent it needed to maintain ratings.

She had been a good decision, he’d been sure of it. Or he had been, until somewhere between audition cities two and three.

It started with talking back, something no one else really dared to do to him. She was sassy and she gave as good as she got and he wasn’t quite used to getting put in his place on camera, much less by a girl half his age.

Then there was the way he could never quite resist rising to her bait and digging himself deeper, and pretty soon they were five minutes into a weird dynamic of banter-fighting while some poor fool waited on stage for their attention.

And bloody hell, she had some nerve. He could still remember the shock when she’d turned his teasing back on him and spat all of those mints right out into his hand. When she’d informed him she’d call a pig after him. When she rolled her eyes and let that pink ponytail cascade over her shoulder and sassed him with all of the attitude she had.

Demi was unique and enigmatic and something he’d never encountered before, a fiery personality he couldn’t resist poking at and a heart bigger than any he’d ever seen, wrapped up into admittedly a very beautiful package.

Her stylists allowed her to express herself, rocking some borderline hairstyles that somehow still worked on her, and they consistently dressed her in outfits that highlighted her gorgeous features.

Simon wasn’t blind. He wasn’t heartless, as Demi herself had pointed out after Jillian’s audition right in the beginning. And she was enchanting, he could admit that much. That was, after all, why he’d hired her. He’d chosen her to be beautiful and funny and bright.

But it was meant to work on the audiences and the viewers and the contestants she would mentor. She was supposed to appeal to America, for god’s sake, not him.

Even looking back, he couldn’t identify what it was that had gotten to him. When she’d gotten under his skin, integrated herself so completely into him that he couldn’t begin to figure out how to extricate himself from the hold she had on him.

The worst of it was how oblivious she seemed. Like she really, genuinely just wanted to tease him and poke at him because it was good for a laugh, and he was sitting there tormented, by her laugh and her touch and his own train of thought. She wasn’t for him. She was so young, this couldn’t happen, he shouldn’t think this way, get your mind the fuck out of the gutter, Cowell.

Maybe he’d just done something really despicable in a past life, and this was hell. Because somewhere along the lines he’d started waking up tangled up in his hotel sheets with the fading image of her behind his eyelids like he was some kind of teenager. Somewhere, he’d started comparing every woman he saw to her. Not just physically, it wasn’t just that. It was the tightness in his chest when his mind would stray and he would look at his date across the table with a pang, it’s not your laughter I want to hear.

At his worst, he felt a bit disgusted by himself, and that wasn’t a thought process Simon was used to. But he couldn’t deny that it was all wrong on so many levels. He was her boss. She called him ‘grandpa’. Careers would get blown open. She deserved someone who could commit to her, someone who was her own age, someone who she could love. Someone who wasn’t eternally opening his mouth around her and then kicking himself, because apparently the only way he knew to flirt with a girl that actually affected him was to pull her pigtails.

None of that was enough to derail the track of thought going through his brain that was always dedicated to her. None of that was enough to drag his focus away from her any time she was in the room. None of that was enough to keep her from distracting him in every possible way, without even trying, as she sat next to him on the panel.

She was biting her lip. Just a little, she did it when she was thinking. He could see her out of the corner of his eye, her head bobbing slightly to the beat of the current singer’s track, her pen poised above her notepad to write her thoughts.

The picture of someone dedicated to finding talent for the show. What he should have been doing, instead of zoning out staring at her mouth. But damn it, he just wanted her. From her perfect little body to the sheer brightness of her personality, she was an obsession he couldn’t shake. 

He wanted to slide his hands underneath her sequined skirt, wanted to know what her kisses tasted like, what she would feel like in his arms, against his body. More than that, though, he wanted to take her out and show her off. He wanted her to just keep talking, and laughing, he wanted her to teach him how she saw the world. He wanted to know what she would look like in his shirts, sitting in the morning sunshine in his kitchen with a coffee cup, late at night with her hair tangled and her feet bare.

He just wanted to know her, and it was getting out of hand. 

“Simon?”

He blinked, trying not to let on that he hadn’t been paying attention, and started making vague statements. “Okay. I think that was really, um, a very unique audition. Da--” he looked up just in time to cut himself off. No, Daniel was the last one. Some unidentified blonde girl was on the stage now, the sight of her causing a mild panic in Simon’s chest. Had he really missed an entire act? He didn’t even remember voting on the last one.

“Let’s go to a vote,” he said briskly instead, ignoring the woman beside him studiously. He could base his vote off of theirs if he went last, make it look like he knew what was going on. And then he really needed to get his bloody head on straight.

He watched the blonde walk off satisfied, receiving four yes’s--even though Simon’s was awarded at random--startling slightly when Demi slapped his arm.

“Hey!” she leaned over, the smell of her perfume invading his nostrils. “Where is your head at?”

Simon swallowed. “I don’t know what you mean.”

Demi scoffed and rolled her eyes. “You were about to call her Daniel, Simon, don’t think you can fool me. Does the old man need a break?”

He finally met her gaze, regretting it immediately. She was smirking at him with a fire in her eyes, pink lips curving up into a smile before she burst out laughing suddenly, a sound he was entirely too in love with.

“Oh my god, your face!” she was giggling, color flooding her face as she kept laughing. “I mean wow, Simey, you really spaced out!”

Simon swallowed, rolled his eyes back reflexively, and turned away from her. “Brat.”

She kept on laughing with L.A., danced along to some music in the background, posed for a selfie beside Britney with her lips out in an exaggerated kiss, let one of the audience members in the front row--a young man--give her a hug.

By the time they ended the break, Simon wasn’t sure if the prevailing emotion was jealousy or lust or possibly just insanity. And now someone else was singing and she was biting her lip again.

He shifted in his seat, adjusting himself discreetly, and idly picked up a pen to distract himself. He could only hope that he wouldn’t be expected to stand in the near future, and that he’d make it through the rest of the day without doing something stupid. She was never going to fall for him, and he would just have to remember that fact.  

~ Demi ~

From the second she’d gotten that first offer of a contract on The X Factor, Demi had been anticipating problems she could run into. It was an unfortunate necessity in the planning; this would be her first real return to the public spotlight after rehab. She was still living in a sober house, still going to meetings and therapy and not quite far enough removed from the edge of a cliff to be comfortable.

She’d planned for the comments. She’d planned for questions and uncertain moments and how to deal with those feelings if they came up again.

She had never once considered that the biggest hurdle of all would be sitting next to Simon Cowell for several hours a day. And there was no contingency plan for this, no sponsor for her to call, she couldn’t even ask her mother about this one.

He was annoying as hell, though, granted, she’d been annoying first. What had initially been irritation born of long hours and the stress of the audition circuit across the country had blossomed into a friendly banter that audiences seemed to like. That she enjoyed. And they were fast becoming unlikely friends.

Or they would be, if he would just stop it with that damned pen. Demi scowled slightly, her hand balling into a fist on her lap, and she redoubled her efforts to focus on the stage. She could not afford to start drooling over the man sitting next to her on camera just because his mouth was doing...things...to a fucking ballpoint pen. Jesus Christ.

Simon Cowell was a pain in her ass. From day one, he’d been annoying her and pushing her until she just had to push back. He had a brand of arrogance that was initially so damned irritating that she just had to take him down a notch, and it had been unbelievably amusing to watch his face when someone talked back to him.

Then somewhere along the line that arrogance--tempered somewhat, now--and the repetitive fashion sense and the British accent and every other fucking thing had become annoyingly sexy, and Demi was halfway to going out of her mind.

It was ridiculous. She was fantasizing about her boss, twice her age, who was actually Simon Cowell. Who would blow up her career. It was a disaster waiting to happen.

She wanted to let it happen. For god’s sake, Demetria.

She knew it was wrong. She knew it was unrealistic. She knew it was never going to work. But she still wanted to help him out of that stupid white shirt and let him have his way with her, and the thought alone made her blush. She wanted to know him, she wanted to find out what else made him laugh besides off-key auditions, she wanted to hold his hand and meet his dogs and find out what it felt like to sleep in his arms. Somehow she just knew he could make her feel safe. And beautiful, for once. And strong, like she wasn’t just a fragile little star gone bad. 

Simon shifted slightly, his hand going to its usual place on the back of her chair, fingertips just brushing her back. She could smell the familiar mix of mints and smoke and soap, risking a glance in his direction. He was watching the stage like he was in some kind of staredown, a fierce expression in his eyes that shouldn’t have ended up being as attractive as it was. She wanted him to look at her with that level of concentration. 

She fought the urge to squirm in her seat, crossing her legs and propping her elbows on the desk, leaning forward and out of his touch. She was pretty sure she was flushing red anyway. Damn it, he wasn’t even doing anything.

She was still all too aware of him out of the side of her eye, playing with that pen between his fingers and then against his mouth.

Concentration on the stage was laughable, and she was going to give herself a headache if she tried to keep this split focus much longer.

“Stop,” she said suddenly, unaware if she was speaking to herself or to him, but abruptly realizing she’d spoken aloud. Luckily they were between acts now, so nothing could be misconstrued there.

Simon leaned over toward her. “What did you say, brat?”

Demi made a frustrated noise, biting her lip once more. And then all at once her control snapped and she lunged, yanking the pen out of his hands. “Stop…” she waved it around vaguely. “Playing with this!”

Simon blinked at her wordlessly for a moment, looking at her fiery, breathless, flushed expression. “Stop biting your lip,” he retorted suddenly, regretting the words as soon as they were out of his mouth.

It was Demi’s turn to draw back in confusion. Her eyebrows furrowed adorably and she shook her head in impatient irritation. “What?”

“Never mind, brat. Give me that back.”

“No,” Demi protested with her usual annoying self. “It’s distracting.”

“I’m distracting you?” Simon’s eyes narrowed. It could have been a flirty question, but he was far too tense to do anything but snap. “Do you have any idea--”

Demi swallowed. A British accent usually wasn’t a big deal to her. Apparently Simon just had his own rulebook. “I am trying,” she spat out, “to do the job you hired me for.” That was good, remind herself that he was her boss. “I can’t focus on the acts if you and your stupid pen--

“You’re always dancing in your seat--”

“--that ridiculous outfit--”

“--cut that dress any lower--”

“You show more cleavage than I do, god, Simon!”

“I don’t think you really want to talk about that right now.”

“Don’t tell me what I want to do.”

“Do you have any idea what you’re doing--”

“Simon I swear to god--”

“HEY!”

Both of them stopped short at the sudden shout from L.A., leaning down the table and glaring at both of them. “Stop it, both of you!”

Demi blinked. Her nose was an inch away from Simon’s, they’d both leaned into each other as they’d shouted over one another, both of them breathless and even Simon looking slightly flushed.

Simon collected himself first, taking a sip of his water and looking over to one of the cameramen. “Cut that, obviously.”

Demi was still a mess of emotion, not entirely sure if anger or arousal would win out, his words coming back to her as she habitually tucked her bottom lip between her teeth. She turned to him suddenly, her eyes flicking over his face in search of some kind of clue. “Why my lip?”

“What?” Simon snapped out, looking halfway to breaking that pen in his hand.

“Seriously, why? That’s literally the weirdest thing--” It was incomprehensible that he might find her attractive, that her curves made her anything but ugly, so he had to just be picking on her. And of all things he could have gone after, he had to choose her one stupid little nervous habit. 

He turned toward her, eyes raking over her with an unreadable expression. “Demi,” he murmured, his voice low.

She swallowed, her hand nervously tracing over some of the sequins sewn onto the hem of her dress. Just because he didn’t find her attractive didn’t mean he didn’t affect her. Beside her, Britney was absorbed in conversation with L.A., oblivious.

Simon’s hand landed on hers suddenly on top of her leg, squeezing her wrist just hard enough to stop the motion. “You’ve gotta stop that, doll,” he whispered roughly.

Her eyes finally flicked up to meet his, her uncertainty fading the longer she looked. Because the expression in his eyes mirrored the one on her own face. The unspoken agreement they’d somehow reached that he probably wanted to just throw her up on the desk right then and there and she wanted to let him.

Simon pulled his hand away first, Demi carefully smoothed her dress and clasped her hands over her notepad, both of them turning their chairs away from each other.

Demi smiled to herself, blushing again and looking down at her lap to hide it. She’d just head to her dressing room after the day finished. Something told her she wouldn’t have to wait very long.

#dimon #demi lovato #simon cowell #fanfiction #i don't know how i feel about this #why was finding this in my drafts so uncozy #a single yike #actually all the yikes tbh

[selna-gomzz]

𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒 𝓂𝑒 𝓉𝑒𝓃𝒹𝑒𝓇 → 𝒿𝑒𝓁𝑒𝓃𝒶

who: joe jonas & selena gomez ( ft. demi lovato & nick jonas)

location: graceland wedding chapel. 

date: july 23, 2019 (early morning)

summary:  after selena’s suprise birthday party, the foursome venture out for some fun. but they didn’t expect to end up in a wedding chapel. 

triggers: mentions of alcohol.

tagged: @josephjonaz​ / @nickjonvs / @ddlovatoxo

Selena was sat in a small room, a leather couch, two matching chairs and a table in the middle of the room while she was sitting in front of the vanity on the wall farthest from the door. She was officially twenty-seven and thanks to Joe, had a party last night and into the early hours of this morning. The had left the party around 2 a.m. and with Nick and Demi in tow, they ended up walking around the strip until they managed to come across a Elvis themed wedding chapel, which is where Selena was now. Sitting in a room with Demi away from her boyfriend while wearing a wedding dress and a veil, she stared at her reflection in the mirror. The woman thought this was a joke to begin with, the suggestion to get married today out of no where but this was real, this seemed to be happening. "I think I'm gonna throw up." Selena muttered to her best friend, unsure if it was the nerves or the amount of alcohol in her system.

In the last twenty four hours Nick had consumed enough alcohol than he ever had before. This was Las Vegas, after all, the city of sin. Why wouldn’t he live it up while he was there? Following Joe, Selena, and Demi down the strip was a blur to him. The Elvis styled chapel that he found himself in was even more confusing. Often wondering, how the hell did I even get in here? That didn’t matter though. All that mattered in the moment was the happiness of his brother and the wedding he was about to attend. Nick sat in the corner of the room they placed him and his brother in disassociating every minute or so. Scratching his face before looking back up at his brother. “Were you guys planning on doing this or was this a spur of the moment type thing?”

Demi was just sobering up as they made their way down the strip. Somehow they made it to a chapel. All her friends where still incredibly drunk. Such lightweights. Demi looked at her best friend who had borrowed one of the chapels many wedding dresses. They had finally found one that wasn't covered in puke or smelled funny. This was such a Joe thing though. To suggest getting married in Vegas. She loved her friends, but she wasn't sure about this. As always though she'd support them regardless. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

Sure this wasn't what she expected to look like or be located on her wedding day, knowing her mother would want to make it a grand ceremony with all her friends and family, but she didn't mind this. It was spontaneous and thrilling and if she ignored the fact that her family wasn't here it would make her feel a little less guilty.  All she wanted was to be happy and Joe made her feel that way. It didn't matter how they got married, as long as they were in it together. Looking at Demi through the mirror. "Yeah. I'm sure. We've known we were gonna get married for a while now. Just a little nervous about it all."

Joe couldn't believe that he had finally brought himself to do this...to get married in Las Vegas of all places. They had just celebrated Selena's birthday with a shit ton of alcohol and finger foods here and there. Running his fingers through this black wavy hair, he looked over at his brother. "It's a spur of the moment type of thing. When in Vegas yanno." Joe looked over at his brother with a smirk. This wasn't exactly what he thought about when he first landed in Nevada soil but this was perfect timing for him and Selena to finally tie the knot. "I'm fucking nervous though. Like holy hell." He finally confessed as he looked back at his own reflection. His life was about to change, forever. He was about to become a married man.

“Can’t relate.” Nick spoke with a slight smile as he got up from the chair he was sitting in. He stood behind him in the mirror looking back at his reflection and then Joe’s. “Mom is going to kill you.” Nick chuckled softly to himself as he put his hands on top of his brothers shoulders. Giving his shoulders a tight squeeze before shaking him around a bit. “Don’t be nervous. You got this, bro!”

Rolling his eyes at his brothers comment he let out a small chuckle. "That's because you're so damn confident and shit like that," Knowing that his brother was there helped a lot because he had not only his brother there but his best friend too. "oh fuck, I forgot about mom and dad...they're both going to be pissed." Realizing that he had completely forgotten about his parents made him panic a bit. How could he forget something so crucial. Taking in a deep breathe and letting it out, he closed his eyes to try and compose himself. "Alright, it's fine. I'll be fine. It's gonna go great."

“Of course it’s going to go great. We are all drunk in Vegas, what could go wrong?” Nick asked with a laugh escaping his lips. “Unless you guys lose Demi or I on the roof or something.” He said before facing his brother wrapping his arms around him in a big embrace. “Don’t be nervous. You guys love each other.” His hand patting Joe’s back before breaking the warm embrace. He then walked over to the door opening it as he stuck his head out. “Let’s get this show on the road here!” He yelled.

“Well I’m sure the alcohol isn’t helping,” she chuckled as she was glad she wore a dress tonight. Whatever her best friend wanted was what she was going to get. They’d have to have an additional wedding later. For now she’d help her friend marry the one she loved. “Come on babe let’s do this,” she held out her hand for her best friend. “You’ve got this.”

Before she could even speak up, she heard Nick shouting from down the hall, making her eyes roll a little. "Okay." She whispered to herself, trying to give herself a short pep talk. Looking herself in the mirror once more, she stood up from the chair and grabbed the bouquet of flowers she had picked out when they first arrived. "I'll be fine. We'll be fine." She gave Demi a nervous smile and walked over to her. Letting her friend place the veil in front of her face. "I'm ready."

Demi joined in the eye roll at nick. So typical of him. She chuckled as she gave her friend a once over. “You’re a bad bitch who’s about to get married. “ she smiled trying to help calm Selena’s nerves. Demi hooked their arms together before smiling. “Guess what I get to be your daddy today. Because you know I’m walking you down the aisle”

Selena blushed at Demi's words, more than grateful that her best friend for more than 20 years was here to support her on her big day. Even if it was just planned today. Placing her arm through the others, she sighed. "My dad and Brian are really going to give me an earful once they hear about this." Selena let out a heavy breath once she mentioned her biological father and step-dad. "But if it wasn't them, then I'm glad its you." Selena gave her friends arm a little squeeze. "I'm just excited to see him." Her eyes trailed down the hall to her soon-to-be husbands room.

"They'll get over it. Once they realized you picked one hell of  husband. Wow even I can't believe you're marrying Joe. I'm glad it's him though. Because I know I can kick his ass," she chuckled as they walked out of the room. "I'm sure he looks great too. Hopefully Nick quiets down. He always one hell of a drunk,"

"Me neither. I never even thought we would date to begin with." Thinking about how things came together since they all knew each other in their teenage years, it was bizarre to even consider Joe and Selena to be anything more than friends but she was happy. He made her happy. "I don't expect this to be a quiet wedding anyways." She joked, the girls finally arriving at the door but Selena stayed out of view. "Is he ready?" Selena peaked around to see Nick.

As soon as Nick heard footsteps coming towards the room they were in he opened up the door once more as he peaked his head out to see Selena all dressed in white with Demi on her arm. “You look beautiful.” Nick said with a genuine smile as he looked back at Joe careful not to let his brother see Selena. “I think so,” With a nod Nick made his way outside of the room and down to the alter giving the Elvis impersonator a high five as he walked by.

Demi chuckled as they waited for Joe to make his way to the alter

"Thank you." Selena blushed, adjusting her dress a little and watching Nick walk to the other room where she would be married. Her heart beating fast against her chest, knowing it was bad luck to see the bride before the wedding but she just wanted to see Joe now.

Pulling down on his tuck trying to straighten it out, he finally noticed just how many times he managed to "straighten" out his tux. The small pep talk from his brother helped out a lot; every bit of him knew that he wanted to marry Selena and this was the next step. Even if it meant not having their parents there. Taking one last glance at himself in the mirror Joe smiled being content on where his life was going. "Alright, let's roll." Joe finally spoke as he followed his brother towards the door.

Demi stood in front of Selena as Joe passed. Making sure he didn't see the bride. Seeing as it was bad luck. "Looking good Jonas," she grinned before giving her friend a thumbs up. "Alright Sel, are you ready?"

Joe couldn't help but smirk at Demi's remark. Giving her a quick look, he then put his attention back on his brother that was leading the way to the alter. "You too, Lovato. Smokin' hot!" He yelped out. So he had a lot to drink and was doing super spontaneous but this was something he was going to remember forever.

Selena couldn't stop herself from peaking over Demi's shoulder, catching Joe's backside just before he disappeared from view. "Yummy." She whispered aloud, laughing when she realized that her friend probably heard her. Stepping around her to link arms with her again, the Elvis themed wedding music beginning to play. "Yeah. I'm ready."

Nick stood up from his seat as he looked down the aisle watching his brother come forth. His eyes already starting to water as he tried to hold it in. A smile tugging on the inner corner of his lips as he met his brothers gaze. Stepping out into the aisle and embracing him once more before moving back to his seat.

Demi laughed before getting it together. "hush save that for later," she whispered before slowly walking with her best friend down the aisle. She held back tears. damn this was real, and here she was with Selena. Their friendship had finally come to this.

Taking his stand by the alter he faced the entry way Selena was about to walk through with Demi. Fumbling with his own fingers now, he took notice of his brother fighting back his tears before he was approached by him and pulled into an embrace, "If you keep crying then I'm going to cry. Stop it right now." He said in a serious tone before breaking into laughter. "These are the last moments of me being an unmarried man. Wild." He said in a whisper now.

“I can’t help it. I’m crying tears of tequila at this point. It has to get out of my body somehow.” Nick said with a laugh as he wiped the tears away from his eyes. “And you didn’t even let me throw you a bachelor party. Fuck man.” Nick smiled as he stood back waiting for Selena and Demi to arrive.

More than proud to be standing with the girl she had met when they were only seven years old, she took a moment to reflect on the past moments with each person here with her today. Even after fights, fallout's and health issues, here they were standing together at the most important event in Selena's life. All three people had a purpose to be here and she was thankful for it. Taking a deep breath, she stepped forwards into the room, the flowers in her hand and starting the journey of getting married.

"We're all going to start crying tears of tequila and vodka at some point tonight. I know I will once I see her walk down this isle."  He confessed; there was no way he wasn't going to cry tonight. He was about to marry the love of his life and happiness was about to begin for him. Truly and forever.  "Rain check, yeah? Cause I'm sure mom and dad are going to insist we get married in a real church back home." He said to his brother before the music began to play that queued for Selena's entrance.

Nick looked over at his brother nodding before the music started to play. He figured now he’d keep quiet. The last thing he wanted to do was ruin their special day. Tapping his foot gently on the ground to the music as Selena and Demi made their way down the aisle. His eyes locking with Demi’s as he gave her a smile.

Joe couldn't help but finally allow himself to cry. Tears running his cheeks he wiped them clean as he finally caught sight of Selena walk through the doors with Demi. Clearing his throat there was so many emotions running through Joe's body right now.

Looking across the room and Joe, she saw him start to cry and she couldn't stop herself from breaking down in tears too. They had tried to get married before and they didn't even get this far so she believed this was the time to do it. Biting her lip hard to stop the tears from ruining her already smudged makeup, her and Demi made it to the end of the aisle. Standing in front of Joe. "Hi." Selena whispered softly with a smile.

More tears continued to roll down Joe's cheeks as Selena made her way down the aisle and closer to him. Once she was in front of him, it all became much more real now. Once again wiping away the tears that were streaming down his face, hazel eyes locked on his future wife's. "You look absolutely gorgeous." He mouthed to her, before the Elvis impersonator interrupted their little moment. "Are we ready to rock and roll and get the show on the road?!" The male impersonator asked, clearly excited to marry the two. "Lets do it!" Joe met his energy, clapping his hands together in excitement .

Her eyes were soft and full of love, taking in the man who had managed to turn her whole world upside down and at the same time be here peace.  She had never felt more lucky. “Stop it, you’re making me cry.” She gave him a pout before giggling. Turning to Demi, she let the woman flip her veil so her face was now exposed, turning back to Joe after giving her best friends hand one last time as a thank you for everything and handed the flowers off to her as well. “Yes! let’s get married!”

Shrugging his shoulders at her plea to stop, there was no way he was going to be able to stop. She deserved to now how beautiful she was, how much he loved her and just how much he appreciated her for everything she had done for him. If there was one decision in his life that he didn't or wouldn't regret it'd be this moment he was sharing not only with Selena but his two best friends, as well. "Alright you two love birds are you ready to commit the rest of your lives together and make if official in sin city?!" The impersonator asked once not but not waiting for a response. "I wouldn't want it any other way," Joe responded with a bright smile keeping his eyes on his one and only. The impersonator began to read a passage about marriage, Joe listening to every word he said Joe still kept his sight on Selena. In that moment he took a deep breathe in still in disbelief he was moments away from calling her his wife. "Miss Selena Gomez, do you take, Joseph Jonas as your lawful husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, until death do you part?"

The couple stepped closer to the podium where the Elvis was standing behind. ready to proclaim them husband and wife. As he spoke, she listened to every single word carefully, practically engraving it into her memory. She would never want to forget this, even when she sobered up. Knowing it was her turn to answer, she couldn’t help but feel giddy, so much so that she swore her knees would buckle under her. “I do!” She announced rather loudly, the smile and gaze she had on Joe couldn’t be erased.

Hearing Selena say her "I do" really got him to sober up a bit. This was really happening in Las Vegas of all places and with Elvis there. Was this Joe's dreams coming true? Yes. "Oh the pretty lady said she does," Elvis said to Joe as he gently nudged Joe's arm. "Now it's your turn, Mr. Joseph Jonas do you take Selena Gomez, for my lawful wife to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, until death do you part?" In that moment when he was asked if he would take Selena in all of their best and worst moments, it brought more tears to his eyes. It was the alcohol making him this emotional. "I do. I take her to be my wife." He finally responded not being able to wipe away the smile he had on his face now. "With the power invested in me by the state of Nevada, I know pronounce you man and wife. You can kiss your pretty wife, man. Show her some sugar." Elvis said to Joe as he stepped back to give the newlyweds some space.

She did her best to restrain herself from moving closer to him or leaning over for a kiss while the ceremony was being done. Even though she just wanted to spend hours in this moment wrapped up in his arms. The second he said they could kiss, Selena eagerly stepped forwards, wrapping her arms around her new husbands neck, pulling him down for a kiss. She was now a Jonas.

Taking her into his arms, he allowed Selena to pull him into a kiss. He added much more passion to their kiss getting carried away and forgetting that there were others in the room with them. Breaking the kiss, Joe gave her a smirk knowing exactly what they were going to be doing after this. "I love you." He said to her, taking her hands into his own.

She knew him well enough to know the second he turned a public kiss into one she was familiar with when they were behind closed doors but this was their day. They could do whatever they wanted so she kissed him back with the same amount of passion. Trying to to feel too flushed when the kiss was over. Selena hadn't taken any notice to the tears that were still freely flowing down her face, too distracted by her husband to even really care. "I love you too." The woman choked up, bringing one of his hands up to place a kiss on the back of his hand.

The whole ceremony, Nick couldn’t help but grin ear to ear. Subtle tears falling down his face during the whole procession. He reached over to grab himself a tissue and quietly wiped the tears as he sniffled here and there. As soon as they started to kiss, Nick put his hands together in an ecstatic clap finally being able to see his brother get married before him. His thoughts couldn’t help but divulge in the fact that this would soon to be him one day. “Hey!” Nick cheered out with a huge smile. “Congratulations to you hunka hunka burnin’ loves!”

FINISHED.

#p: love me tender

[dis-easedfairy]

Impulsive Decision Pt.5

Male Path | Female Path

Chapter 5: Should’ve Walked Away

WARNINGS: SWEARING/STRONG LANGUAGE | KIDNAPPING | MENTIONS OF RAPE | DRUGGING

Genre: Poly!au, angst, fluff, eventual smut, yandere!au

Pairings: BTS x Male Reader/ Kim Taehyung x Male Reader / Kim Seokjin x Male Reader / Jung Hoseok x Male Reader / OC x Male Reader

Word Count: 4,157

Summary: M/n is the owner of a very wealthy and successful company, Barnanby Inc. M/n attends a BTS show, since they happen to be a fan. They make a very impulsive decision to show a loophole in BTS’s security and end up kidnapping BTS and 2 girls. In a fit of panic M/n stashes BTS and the girls in a very luxurious bunker for the time being, but M/n’s world slowly starts to crumble the longer the boys are out of the public’s eye,

A/N: I may or may not have added one of my fav childhood memories in here.

    I woke up on my back with someone pressed against my chest. Their arms wrapped around my waist, face in my chest. It felt nice, yes, but they had their legs intertwined with mine, locking me down. The zip-up hoodie I was wearing last night was opened for some reason.

I looked down at the mess of dark hair and knew who it was almost instantly. I looked around the room and we were the only ones there.

“Uh, Tae? Can I go pee?” I chucked.

Tae shook his head sleepily. Since I seemed to have no choice I began to run my hands through his hair. I swear I thought Tae was too pure for this world sometimes.

The double door opened, revealing Hobi, he saw me and smiled.

“Jin wanted me to wake you two up.” He explained.

I pointed to Tae, “I’m awake at least.” I giggled.

Hobi walked over to the bed.

“Hold onto the headboard.” I did as told.

Hobi grabbed onto Tae’s feet and pulled. Tae groaned and held onto me tighter.

“Taehyung, it’s time to let the poor boy go!” Hobi grunted as he pulled more.

“Come back later!” Tae complained, not letting his grip on me loosen.

“It’s 8AM you woke up with us at 6! It is later!”

“5 more minutes!”

“We gave you two hours to hog Y/n, now you can’t be selfish!”

“He was asleep it doesn’t count!”

“You cuddled him all night!”

I started laughing at their ridiculous argument. All the noise made Jin and RM come into the room.

“YAH! You’re going to rip M/n in half!” Jin tried yelling at them but was drowned out by their continuous arguing.

I was starting to laugh so hard I was almost crying. Hobi and Tae were not stopping the harmless bickering, Jin was trying to yell at them, RM was facepalming at the door and I could see the others approaching. What a start to the day.

“Jesus, you guys.” Jungkook was fighting a smile.

Jin got onto the bed and tried to pry Tae off of me as Hobi continued to pull, the yelling never stopping.

“YAH! LET HIM GO! HE’S NOT A STUFFED ANIMAL, TAEHYUNG!”

“STOP BEING GREEDY HE’S OUR FRIEND TOO!”

“HE WAS MY FRIEND FIRST, I HAVE A PLUSH TO PROVE IT!”

“WE’RE HIS FRIENDS BECAUSE HE SAID SO!”

“WHY DID YOU ONLY GET A PLUSHIE!?”

“BECAUSE I ASKED FOR ONE!”

“WE DON’T NEED PLUSHIES TO VALIDATE OUR FRIENDSHIP!”

“LALALALALALALALA! I CAN’T HEAR YOU OVER MY PLUSHIE VALIDATED FRIENDSHIP!”

I was so close to peeing myself. I let go of the headboard because I was laughing too hard, making Tae and I get dragged off the bed by Hobi. My back was against the cold concrete, Tae was still holding on for dear life.

“I ALMOST PEED!” I cried in laughter covering my face.

“YOU DIDN’T EVEN LET HIM USE THE RESTROOM WHEN HE WOKE UP!?” This wasn’t stopping.

I sat up so my back was pressed against the bed. My eyes blinded with tears. Tae sat beside me and pulled me into his lap as everyone kept arguing.

“WHY ARE YOU SO HANDSY WITH M/N ANYWAY!? HE’S NOT YOURS!”

“Why is this an argument?” I heard Jimin.

“I just wanted to use the restroom!” I managed.

“No! You’re staying with me!” Tae commanded, tightening his hold on me.

“I’ll pee on your lap!” I threatened.

Tae immediately let go and I ran to the bathroom.

I typed up a proposal on the office computer. I stood and began to pace the room, reciting the speech, editing as I saw fit.

“I believe Barnaby Inc. is ready for this….Amazing? No that’s too predictable. Wonderful? Nah that will just make them think of our melon drink. Spectacular? Why am I overthinking this?” I plopped into my office chair.

I heard a knock at the door.

“Come in!” I hollered, moving to edit my speech.

“Lunch time!” I sighed as Jin came in with a tray.

It had two glasses of lemonade, two bottles of water, two bags of chips, two sandwiches and two small bowls of mixed berries.

“Jin, I really need to-”

“Nope! Lunch, then work. How much water have you drank today?”

“Uh, a bottle this morning and a bottle when I came in here.” I began typing.

“Aish, you need to take better care of yourself, M/n.” Jin sat down at the front of my desk.

“I know, it’s just when I get into the flow of things, I don’t stop until I’m satisfied. ” I defended myself, getting a berry.

“You’ve been working a lot lately. The drawing, the games, visiting the company almost every day now. Are you usually this busy?”

I nodded, “Especially now with the partnership. I’ve been trying to get this for months. My father tried for years. After gaming, we move to snacks and beverages and from there we find something else if we’re not content. ”

“You said you had siblings, a family? Who’s in it?” Jin asked as I bit into my sandwich.

“My older brother and sister are twins, they’re 26 or so. My older sister has two boys, one is 4 the other is a few months now. My older brother has no children, but a wife. I have a younger sister who is 16, When she turns 18, we should have expanded to snacks then and she’ll run that side of the business. My mother is a retired animator, but she still goes into the company every once and a while to help out our current animators, they love her so we let her. I think that’s everyone.”

“No aunts, uncles?”

“I do, but I rarely talk to them. My mom calls my aunt from my father’s side every once in a while but they usually stay away because they think we let money, fame and work control us. They think we’re snobby assholes to be precise.”

“Why would they think that?”

“My father was doubted by everyone, so he told them once he made his empire, no one got rights to it but him. his wife and his children. They didn’t listen until my father hit big and they wanted cuts. When my father denied them, they started talkin’ shit.” I munched on a chip.

“Your father was very…”

“Spiteful? Proud?”

“Smart.” I smirked.

“I guess so. He was a workaholic like me. ”

“Is that why he gave you the company and not your older siblings?”

“My brother is really great. He’s smart, he’s a smooth talker, He can change your opinion on something if you’re left alone with him for longer than 4 minutes. He’s well educated when he argues with someone, he makes sure he knows what he’s talking about. I felt like my brother earned it, but my father said he saw more of himself in me.”

“Because you're caring?”

“Because I take risks no one should. Hence the little problem I’m in now. Because I throw myself into whatever I can to just forget the world around me. I used to be bold. Charming, but now I’m an interesting as a smudge on your cell phone.” I popped a berry in my mouth.

“That’s not true! How many people can say they kidnapped idols!?”

“Jin, that’s not something to be proud of.”

“I bet you are twice as interesting as all of us.”

“I’m really not, but I’m not going to ruin your hopes and dreams. Just have low expectations of me is all  I ask.”

“No-”

“So when I exceed those expectations, you’ll be happier.”I added quickly.

Jin smiled, seeming satisfied as he bit into his sandwich. I opened his chips for him and got my bottle of water.

“Do I gwet a purush?” Usually, I’d be a little annoyed at someone talking to me with their mouths full, but Jin made it seem so adorable.

I smiled, “Wanna run that by me again, Jinnie?”

I saw his cheeks turn a little red. He swallowed.

“D-do I get a plush?” He repeated.

“Oh! I totally forgot! Sure you can! They should be in the entrance room, in the big storage closet.” I picked up the glass of lemonade.

“Thank you for making me lunch, Jin. I really appreciate it. I just wished the other boys saw me the way you, Tae and Hobi do.”

“Just be yourself. I’m sure they’ll come around.”

I slid into the bathroom, grabbed a towel and climbed on top of the couch. I tied the towel around my neck as a cape.

“I AM ON MY WAY!” I sang obnoxiously as I jumped onto the chair.

“I CAN GO THE DISTANCE!” I belted.

“I DON’T CARE HOW FA-OH FUCK!” The chair fell to the side, a higher power deciding I was unworthy of balance and gravity.

I hit the floor with a thud. Just staring up at the ceiling. Basking in my shame. I heard giggling and I looked over to see Jimin standing by the dining room table, as red as apple he was holding. Like he was trying not to laugh.

“Annnnd reputation ruined.” I sighed, looking up at the ceiling, I tried to sit up but a sharp pain shot up my tailbone.

I whined and did the first thing I can think of.

“JIN! I THINK I BROKE MY ASS! I REQUEST DEMI-GOD ASSISTANCE!” I cried out, causing Jimin to finally break.

I’ve only seen him laugh that hard in videos, but to see it in real life was drastically different, it lit up the whole room and I didn’t want it to stop.

“WHAT DID YOU DO?” Jin yelled back, from the gaming room I assumed.

“I FAILED TO GO THE DISTANCE! I HAVE A CAPE, YOU CAN’T DENY ME! HOBI I’M DYING!” I heard footsteps come down the hall and Jin stopped in the doorway when he saw Jimin.

Jimin was borderline crying, doubled over, clutching his stomach.

“WHY IS MY BOYFRIEND DYING FROM A BROKEN ASS??” I heard Tae shout from the bedrooms.

“THE CAPE BETRAYED ME, BABE! YOU ONLY LIKED ME FOR MY ASS ANYWAY!” I called back.

Jimin fell to the floor.

“I ACCIDENTALLY KILLED JIMIN AS WELL! ” I added.

Tae and Hobi walked in and saw Jimin on the floor.

“This is all your fault!” I pointed at Jin.

“You just had to pull me away from my work!” I joked.

“How was I supposed to know a sandwich would make you break your ass!?” He countered.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, when did you make him a sandwich!?” Tae demanded.

“For lunch, he was in his office all morning, he wouldn’t have eaten otherwise.”

“Who said you can give our boyfriend sandwiches!?” Hobi called Jin out.

“OUR boyfriend!? Since when am I sharing!?” Tae turned on Hobi.

“No one’s sharing anything if my ass is destroyed.” I grumbled.

“Jimin, are you alive?” Jin laughed.

Jimin shook his head, still laughing/crying.

“Hobi, can you help me up?” I looked down at my lap to hide my embarrassment.

“Sure thing N/n.” Hobi chuckled, picking me up and I hissed in pain.

“Want me to rub your ass later?” Tae laughed.

“Oh hell yes.” I joked, trying to stand straight.

Hobi kneeled down suddenly and threw me over his shoulder causing me to let out a small squeak, making V and Jin laugh.

“HOBI! What the fuck!? Warning next time!”

  I sat lounged the couch, typing on my laptop. My feet were on Hobi’s lap, Jin was in the chair beside me and Tae was sitting in front of the couch. Seongmi, RM, and Jimin were on the couch by Jin, their backs facing the kitchen and Suga, Jungkook and Linza were on the couch with their backs facing the dining room.

The coffee table was full of cards from a very long round of Uno that never seemed to end. Every time someone would get close, the person beside the would get a +4 wildcard and you’d hear screams of heartbreak and anguish. Hobi began to rub my leg, I assumed he didn’t realize he was going it, so I tried to focus on my speech, hoping I’d zone out. An alarm went off on my laptop, it read ‘Call Seth’. I sighed, closing the laptop.

“I have to make a call, I’ll be right back.” I smiled and left to make a call in between the dial door and vault door.

Once Seth didn’t pick up I’d figure I’d call later. I went back through the dial door and was on my way to the living room when I saw something out of my peripheral vision.

Linza was sitting on the large bed, just waiting. I just stuck my phone in my hoodie and kept walking, I didn’t need the drama.

“Hey, M/n.” She called as I opened the door.

Luckily Jin heard her, stopping the game to look at the door. I sighed.

“Yes, Linza?”

She smiled. She lied back propped on her elbows.

“Are you really into girls or is that just speculation?”

“Seriously, I’d rather be working on my speech than talking about my sexual orientation, no offense.” I began to leave but was stopped by her voice again.

“Come here, I want to tell you a secret.”

“No thanks. I’m sure that if I get near you, you’ll try something.”

“You don’t trust me?”

“Why the fuck would I?”

She frowned like she was trying to be cute.

“Aww c’mon, N/n, we can be friends ya know.” She got up from the bed, grabbed my wrist and started to pull me to the bed.

“Don’t call me N/n. I don’t want your friendship.” I tried to pull away.

“If you do me this small thing I’ll get you in Jimin’s good graces.”

“No. I don’t care if I’m liked or not. Stop touching me and stop whatever you’re planning.” She ignored me, sitting on the bed.

I used my other hand to try to pry away her grip on my wrist, she thought ahead and grabbed my other hand and yanked me on the bed.

“What the fuck are you do-!?” She pinned me down a smirked.

My eyes widened as she began to lean more towards my face.

“Hey! What the fuck?” I moved my face.

“Aw, M/n don’t be like that, it’s only a kiss.”

“Get the fuck off me, Ducktape Girl!” I growled.

She went to grab for the zipper on my hoodie. I smacked her hand away and tried moving more towards the headboard. Where the fuck was Jin!? She grabbed a fist full of my hair and I raised my hands to pull hers away by instinct. This gave her an opening to attack my mouth. I pressed my lips together as fast as I could. When she pulled away slightly I snapped.

“Get the fuck off me!” I almost shouted, shoving her away, making her land on the floor.

She yelped as I wiped my mouth, disgusted that it was wet with spit. The boys came rushing in. Seongmi immediately climbed on the bed to check on me.

“What happened?” RM asked.

“Ducktape Girl just tried to makeout with me.” I was still disgusted to my core.

“Yeah, right.” Jungkook scoffed.

“Jungkook, look at him! His lips are swollen, his hair is a mess. He’s on the bed. We heard him tell her to not touch him! We thought she’d stop! Why are you defending her!?” Seongmi snapped, surprising me.

Jimin let out a loud sigh, running his hand through his hair.

“No! He kissed me! I was just trying to talk to him!” Linza cried.

“Tae, Jin, Hobi, Seongmi?…Can we just go to sleep or to the studio?” I asked in a small voice.

“No! We can’t let this slide, M/n! She get’s away with too much because she just bats her eyes and pretends to cry! She’s not nice! She’s hardly a victim! I get M/n made a very bad decision, but he gives us anything we want, he helps feed us, he provides entertainment, we use almost every room in this bunker! All he asks is for personal space! Ducktape her!” Seongmi ranted.

“Seon-” She cut me off.

“You don’t deserve the doubt! You’ve been nothing but kind and understanding! It’s always her that spreads the seeds of doubt!” I could tell Seongmi wasn’t calming down anytime soon.

“Seongmi, calm down.” I soothed her.

“She’s just going to get away with this, M/n! Don’t let yourself take all these hits because you feel guilty for driving away in the limo and hiding us here!” Seongmi pleaded with tears in her eyes.

I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her close. She buried her face in my chest.

“Shh, it’s okay, none of these ‘hits’ affect me.” I lied, petting her hair.

“She’s just afraid and angry at me. I would be too if I was kidnapped the way you all were.” She shook her head rapidly.

I looked over at Tae. He only nodded and got on the bed, hugging Seongmi too. I tried to pull away but she held on tighter.

“Seongmi, I still have to talk to everyone else about this.” I smiled sadly.

“There’s nothing to talk about. They’ll just believe her no matter what you say. ” She whimpered.

She was right, but it would be wrong to not explain my side at all. I bent down slowly and gave her a faint kiss on the top of her head.

“That’s okay, because I know the truth, and my friends believe me.”

“Ducktape pillar!” Jin suddenly shouted, making us all jump.

Slowly began to pull away from Seongmi and got off the bed. I let out a deep breath,

“I didn’t kiss her, she tried to kiss me after she got me close enough to the bed to pin me down. After her attempted kiss I shoved her off. I’m sorry, I should’ve just kept walking.” I walked past them all and went to the fridge.

There was no booze. I let out a deep sigh.

“I’m going on a beer run.”

  I walked from the 7-Eleven, beers in the bags. I should’ve just gone home. I should’ve just…kept walking. I saw a guy sitting in the alleyway alone. I was pretty close to a popular club in Seoul, so I assumed he must have stumbled out. I couldn’t leave him alone, right?

I put the bag down and crouched down beside him, he was barely awake. I pulled out my phone and dialed the police. If I took him, I’d be kidnapping…again. I wanted him to be safe, not alone and vulnerable. Music was muffled and poured out the club as the phone rang.

“Yes, this isn’t much of an emergency, but a guy is alone and passed out in an alley, I don’t want to just leave him here…Should I take him to the station, or?” I was told to take him to the main street and a patrol car would be there shortly.

“Hello, I’m M/n L/n. I’m going to get you to the police okay? It’s dangerous for you to be out here alone.” I smiled softly.

He returned a smile.

“You’re cute.” He slurred, making my face heat up.

I cleared my throat.

“Let’s get you to the road, okay? Hongdae in full swing, it really isn’t safe.” I put his arm around my shoulders and lifted him up.

Hongdae was a district and Seoul that I shouldn't even have gone to. I was just clearing my head, driving. I ended up downtown and I should’ve stayed at the top of Seoul.

I got him on the main road, I was surprised he even got that far. He leaned on me as we waited. He almost puked a few times. He was giggly and kept calling me ‘cutie’, but I wrote it off as him being drunk. He talked about the ‘pretty lights’ and I kept asking him to describe them to keep him busy. Once the patrol car was close they flashed the lights. I helped him in the back seat and sent him on his way.

I’d figure I’d go to that club for a drink since I forgot my beers when I picked up that guy. I should’ve walked away. I should’ve gone back to the bunker that night.

I pulled up Jason’s number in my phone as my back was pressed against the cold tile wall. Luckily, the bathroom was empty, but you could hear the loud music muffled.  I groaned loudly once ‘Blood, Sweat & Tears’ began to play.  The phone began to ring,

“M/n? Why are you calling me so late? It’s nearly 2am. Shouldn’t you be with, your, uh, guests?”

“I just wanted ONE drink, but some guys offered me shots, and their friends who are girls even bought me drinks, Everyone was so nice. I think I found us a friend group!”

“Are you drunk, M/n? You stick in the mud! Why didn’t you invite me!?” He laughed.

I smiled, “I didn’t plan any of th-” The bathroom door opened and a guy from earlier came in, handing me a glass.

“What’s that?” I ask him.

“Just drink it, you’ll like it!” He promised, sounding oddly sober.

“Okay, I get I’m a foreigner, but like, you still need to explain what you give me.”

“This doesn’t have a different name anywhere else though!” He whined, making me sigh and hold out my hand.

He beamed, handing the glass to me, his smile getting bigger once I slammed it down in one go. It tasted like whiskey, which made me a bit disappointed.

“Thank you! I’ll be out in a bit.” I sang.

“Who are you talking to?” He frowned.

“My best friend, he’s sad that I didn’t invite him.”

“Just don’t take too long, okay?”

“Will do!” He left the bathroom.

“Where are you?” Jason asked, sudden seriousness in his voice.

“Are you joining us!?” I asked excitedly.

“Just tell me where you are, M/n, now.” I heard a glass door, he was coming from the office.

I didn’t like his tone. I began to pull myself up, using the sink and praying I didn't snap the sink off the wall. I gave him the name of the nightclub. I thought maybe something happened to him and he needed me. I walked across the bathroom and opened the door, music flooding in.

“Stay in the area, M/n. I’ll be there as soon as I can!” I heard his car door close before he hung up.

I frowned and made my way through the crowd. The people buying me drinks spotted me. 2 guys, 3 girls.

“Hey! Where are you going?” Guy #1 asked.

“My friend needs me tonight, sorry! Give me your names and I’ll take care of your tabs.” Guy #2 shook his head.

“Stay with us! You’ll have fun we promise!” Girl #3 yelled over the music.

I shook my head, “My best friend comes first! I’ve known him since I was 8. He needs me!”

“He’ll understand if you stay in the club though, right? If you go out there alone, it will be dangerous!” Girl #1 warned.

“Yeah! Just stay here, stick with us!” Girl #2 smiled.

Why were they so hell bent on me staying with them? They didn’t even know me. I shook my head.

“I’ll catch you all later.” I said began to walk away.

Guy #2 grabbed my wrist.

“Just stay, please!” He called over the music.

Now I was a little put-off. I should’ve walked away from them regardless.

“Listen, it was fun. I’ll pay for your tabs and everything, but I just need to leave!”

“We’ll come with you! We shouldn’t leave you alone.” I agreed to the terms Guy #1 set up.

I just needed to leave. Each step I took seemed lighter and lighter. Guy #2 held onto my arm as we walked out. Once the cold air from outside hit me, I felt dizzy and my vision blurred slightly. Guy #2 kept walking, somehow holding up my weight.

“I’m not accepting hard liquor from you guys anymore. That last drink was too strong.” I complained, moving away from Guy #2.

Even though I was starting to get nauseated, a little dizzy, and my vision was seeming to blur at random, I was still in an amazing mood, giggling and laughing as Girl #3 would attempt to joke. After a while, I was willingly walking around with them. I even took out my phone to take pictures because the store signs and lights seemed so much more bright and colorful.

After that was a blur. I don’t remember anything, but I recorded several things on my phone. Somethings that were now evidence. Somethings that I didn’t even record.

If I had to choose between ‘Remember Everything’ or ‘Remember Nothing’ I would rather not know.

I should’ve walked away. Three times that night.

( Previous Chapter ) - ( Next Chapter )

#bts fanfic #bts x male reader #bts poly au #bts ot7 x reader #bts angst #kim taehyung x reader #kim seokjin x reader #jung hoseok x reader #bts yandere au

[not-close-to-straight]

Frost (Chapter Nine)

TRIGGER WARNING-- mention of past sexual assault I will mark ****where it begins and ends.

ADDITIONAL CHAPTERS HERE **********************

“You have been avoiding our Anthony, and it is hurting him.” Thor said disapprovingly as he fastened his warm cloak over his riding clothes.

“Your forgiveness.” Loki murmured, staring down at the ground. “Things did not go as planned the other day and I--”

“Anthony mentioned your change. He also said that you ran from the room before he could even try and understand what had happened. Your brief explanation only confused him more.”

“Yes. Well when he came running to you, did you tell him of the demon that lurks within me?”

“Your Jotunn form is not a demon, Loki.” Thor said patiently. “You have hated it for so long, but it is not as monstrous as you believe. And it has no bearing on your personality. ''Tis just cosmetic. Our Anthony does not care about such things.”

“Easy for you to say.” Loki retorted. “You have poems written to your beauty. I am the thing that lurks in the night, what we tell the children in horror stories.”

“You are not.” Thor shook his head. “And by denying Anthony to chance to see you, to even talk to you, is hurtful to both of you. It pains me to see you miserable. It has been a long few days.”

“Yes well.” Loki folded his arms, shook his head in defeat. “While I have missed Anthony, I am at a loss as to how to talk to him again. We were close and then I--” he closed his eyes. “I changed and I couldn't--”

“He mentioned you were close.” Thor agreed, a curious light in his eyes. “I take it after our conversation, you were eager to further your relationship with our Anthony.”

“I attempted.” Loki emphasized. “And look what happened. Obviously Anthony and I are not meant to--”

“You need to talk to him.” Thor insisted. “You are doing him a disservice by assuming that he will reject you over something cosmetic, something you have no control over. What you are has no bearing on who you are, and it is high time you realized that. Our Anthony is only a man and yet he is stronger of will than most immortals that walk our realms. What if I had discounted him because of what he was? I would have missed out on my love and I cannot abide that.”

Thor frowned at him. “Do not leave our hjartslattur lonely, wondering why one who shares his heart is trampling so thoroughly on it by hiding himself away. Go to him.”

“I will be gone for several days, and if I return to hear that you have avoided him, I will be very angry with you.”

“Thor--”

“Loki.” Thor grabbed him in their almost-hug, their arms clasped, their foreheads touching. “Swear it. Swear you will go to him. I will not leave while you two are at odds with each other.

“I swear.” Loki agreed, even as he fought against the panic in his chest, the thought of facing Anthony again enough to make him tremble. “I swear.”

“Very well, then.”

Thor held him for another moment before pulling away. “I have already said good-bye to Anthony, left him sleeping in our chambers.”

“I will find him when he wakes.” Loki promised. “Safe travels. Return home to us.”

Loki didn't think anything about his words, it was a standard enough thing to say in parting. But this time something flickered in Thor's blue eyes, something Loki didn't quite catch before the giant turned and headed out the door.

But whatever it was left Loki feeling… warm.

********************* ********************

Tony was stretched out the most comfortable chair in the world, flipping through his book of old legends, searching for more information on the hjartslattur bond, as well as anything about whatever a frost giant was. It actually wasn't a chair, it was a chaise lounge, but Tony had claimed it for his own and had definitely kicked Thor's giant ass off it a time or two when he wanted to lay down. It was a full nine feet long, way too long for Tony but he didn't care, just stretched out as far as he could and enjoyed the space.

Honestly he couldn't believe he hadn't had one of these on Earth. Would have kept his stress levels much lower.

Anyway. There was depressingly little information on both things, nothing more than fairy tales or horror stories in most of the books he had been able to find, but he stretched out even further and kept reading.

From what he could tell, the hjartslattur bond was something like a happily ever after, and the frost giants were something like the boogeyman under the bed.

Not surprisingly, Tony was more than okay with one of those things, and troubled by the other.

He tossed that book away and reached for a bigger one, an older one, and started scanning the pages for anything Frost Giant related. Frost giant and Jotunn or whatever Loki had called himself. Thor had been stubbornly scarce with his information, pushing Tony to go and see Loki and ask the questions himself.

Easier said than done, when Loki was apparently the best at hide and seek and Tony hadn't been able to find him once in the last few days. Stupid, stubborn Demi gods and their mood swings.

A quiet meow and Tony looked up to see a sleek black cat peeking around the edge of the doorway. He sat up curiously, staring at familiar bright green eyes in the little face.

“Hey kitty cat.” He said quietly. “What are you doing?”

The cat came closer, winding it's way through the legs of the various chairs before rubbing up against Tony's leg with a plaintive little whine.

“Yeah? Need some attention? Come on.” Tony lay back down and patted his stomach invitingly until the cat jumped and landed feather soft on his chest, curling into a tight ball and closing it's eyes.

“So I'm reading about the hjartslattur bond.” Tony scratched the cat's ears idly as he talked. “Seems alright. Sort of a guaranteed happily ever after for myself, Thunder Thighs and our resident shape shifter. I'm a fan. Little old me with a hunky blond and mysterious brunette? I'm not really sure how my being human plays into all that, but I suppose I could cross that bridge later. I've read something about like, golden apples? Should solve the mortality problem.”

The cat stretched a little and Tony ran a hand down it's back, smiling when it arched into the touch. “Not gonna say anything about the shape shifter comment? Alright then. That's fine. You're cuddly anyway, and there are worst ways to spend my day then with a cat and a good book, hm?”

He picked back up his book, propping it up on his knees, and kept petting the cat, playing with it's tail and rubbing it's tummy when it rolled over.

Eventually the green eyed thing snuggled close and started purring and Tony just grinned.

Demi gods. Ridiculous. Not fooling anyone.

******************** It was lunch time before the cat stirred, stretching dramatically, claws digging into Tony's chest like sharp little knives until Tony grimaced and pried them off.

“Don't gotta be all pokey with me, kitty, come on.” He sat up on the chaise lounge, pushing the cat to his lap. “Do you want lunch? Some Meow Mix? Friskies?” He raised his eyebrows and the cat looked back at him with a completely offended expression  in his eyes.

“Yeah. Didn't think you would think that was clever. Thor would have been rolling in the floor laughing. At least he thinks I'm funny.”

Tony bit his lip in thought and then reached for a blanket, spreading it out over the cat before laying back down.

“You know, um, you don't have to be a cat to spend time with me. I mean, the fur is cute and all, but I'd rather hold you, huh? If you want, I mean. I know you're all freaked out after the other day, but…we can do this sort of thing without you needing a litter box.”

Under the blanket the cat huffed angrily and Tony grinned.

“I'm just saying. If you want to, maybe change up and we can lay here together. Otherwise we can keep doing this. But don't leave, because I've missed you these last few days.”

He called for a servant, having to raise his voice to nearly yelling since the servants had finally learned to leave him alone while he was reading. The first few weeks in the castle, a servant was popping in to check on him every fifteen minutes until Tony had finally thrown a book at someone and snapped at Thor to mark the library as a no fly zone. He didn't need to be catered to, he just wanted to read.

So now of course, he had to shout just to catch someone's attention, which was just how karma seemed to work.

“Sir Anthony.” The young man bowed quickly. “Forgive my tardiness, we have been told to--”

“I know. It's fine.” Tony waved off the apology. “But could I get a sandwich? Roast beef? Or something like it? And there was some really good grain bread yesterday? Put my sandwich on that.”

“Of course. Right away.” The servant bowed again and ran off and Tony settled back into his chaise lounge with a smirk. Yeah. There were perks to being Thor's Chosen Love. Perks like sandwiches on fresh bread. It was a tough life.

“You are adjusting to life as royalty faster than you let on.”

Tony looked down in surprise when the cat spoke, Loki's deep voice too loud for such a small animal, then his eyes widened further as the air seemed to shimmer and heat, the room going blurry for a minute.

When his eyes refocused, Tony found himself with all six feet plus of Loki laying between his legs, one long arm braced above his head, the other hand pressing into his chest.

“Uh, hey.” Tony looked down then, at pale skin and lean muscles and a bare chest that led right down to where their bodies met, the blanket riding low on slim hips, looking like it could fall onto the floor any second and Tony-- Tony's fingers were practically itching to pluck it right off. “Look at you.”

“Forgive me for the shape shifting.” Loki said softly. “I wasn't sure how to approach you after our last time together and this seemed like the easiest way to break the ice, as it were.”

“It's fine. The cat was cool.” Tony nodded quickly, licking his lips. “But um, this is fine too.” He shifted his hips against the chaise lounge, Loki's weight pushing him further into the cushion and he took a deep breath, trying to reign himself in so they could just talk.

Because talking was important. More important than miles of pale, perfect skin slotted naked between his thighs. Loki didn't seem disturbed by it, didn't even seem to notice that he was nude, so Tony certainly wasn't going to bring it up and ruin the moment.

“You are uncomfortable.” Loki was searching his eyes, misreading the struggle he saw there. “Not ready to talk with me yet about what happened. I should give you more time. Shall I shift back?”

“That's not it at all.” Tony shook his head. “No. That's not--”

“Then why do you look---anxious?” Loki frowned. “I should leave. I--”

“Don't.” Tony's hands came down on Loki's waist, his eyes closing as he finally touched smooth, cool skin. “Don't leave. Just wasn't prepared for you to end up naked on me when you shifted. I honestly didn't think that through. My bad.”

“I will get dressed, then.” Loki made to sit up but Tony shook his head again, eyes still closed.

“Nope. This is fine. Don't leave.”

“Anthony, I think perhaps--”

“Loki.” Tony finally opened his eyes, put one hand on the back of Loki's head to urge him closer. “This is fine. If you're fine, I'm fine. Just come here.”

“Very well, then.” He said slowly, and slid down the lounge until he could rest his head on Tony's chest, wishing he could purr in this form as Tony started running fingers through his hair. “This is alright as well?”

“Definitely. Are you okay?”

“Yes.” A sigh of relief from Loki, and Tony was struck by just how tense the Demi-God had been, once he relaxed and nearly melted into Tony. “I have… missed you, Anthony. Our time together.”

“Yeah, well you're about the best at hide and seek because I've been looking for you for days.”

“A benefit to glamour I suppose.” Loki shrugged against him. “''Tis a simple trick to be invisible for a moment if I don't want to be seen.”

“Hm.” Tony kept tugging through Loki's long dark hair, the silky strands gliding effortlessly across his skin. “You could be in a hair commercial.”

“Your pardon-- what did you say?” Loki started to lift his head but Tony chuckled and rubbed his other hand across Loki's bare shoulders.

“Nothing important.”

They fell silent, Loki closing his eyes and letting himself fall deeper into the light touches across his back, the gentle pressure on his head as Tony combed through his hair.

“Will you tell me about the skin thing?” Tony asked after a few minutes. “You don't have to tell me everything, but… does it hurt? To turn like that? Can you feel it? And I guess I don't understand how it's linked to your emotions?”

“It isn't truly a… change.” Loki started slowly. “It's my natural form. This form is my glamour. It just covers me so no one is afraid when they see me, and so I can mute the… unacceptable aspects of my Jotunn form.”

“Unacceptable aspects.”

“Yes. The way my touch is so cold it could burn you. The red eyes. Blue skin. When I am angry in that form, I can bring the ice from the air and use it as a weapon. It is… undesirable.”

“Who told you it was undesirable?” Tony wanted to know and Loki started to answer and then stopped and hesitated before speaking again.

“Frost giants are… the villains to the Asgardians. Cold and cruel even to their own, more to their enemies. I am guilty and undesirable by association. Even though, now I am simply guilty by my own actions. Still. Being of Jotunheim-- I do not belong here, and I have never been able to forget it.”

“How old were you when you--”

“I had lived many centuries before discovering my heritage. I am not sure how time works between our worlds, but I know it is different, so I could not give you an accurate timeline.”

“I see. And you… hate it.”

“My Asgardians form is beautiful, isn't it? But once my Jotunn form was discovered, this glamour didn't matter. Everyone knew what I was hiding, and even though I still wear the mask, it isn't doing me any good.”

“Does it hurt? To change?”

“Actually.” Loki hesitated again as he tried to find the right words. “It is… a relief. Like releasing a deep breath. To not hide. To just be. But I cannot touch anyone, or anything without causing it harm. I cannot even look in a mirror. What sort of demon has red eyes? And the markings on my skin.” He shook his head against Tony's chest. “I look as if I belong in one of those circus shows you enjoy on Midgard.”

Tony was quiet, keeping his touch light, his breathing even as he tried to digest Loki's words.

Really this was the most Loki had ever opened up, the most he had ever said that was more than just small talk. It was both encouraging, and overwhelming, and Tony didn't really know what to say.

“Is that why you wear so many layers? To hide in case your… glamour slips?”

“And because I am always cold.” Loki admitted. “It moves like frost through my veins, through my bones. I am always cold.”

Tony automatically reached for another blanket and settled it over Loki's body. “Is that better?”

“Thank you.”

“So when your glamour slips--”

“There is a reason I am always calm and collected. Magic is only as strong as the person behind it, and I am not… I am not as strong as I once was. Any sudden emotion, being caught off guard, anything in that manner and my hold on my magic weakens and my true self shines through.”

“So when we kissed?”

“I wasn't concentrating on my magic.” Loki smiled a little. “Not at all.”

“And when we danced?”

“You surprised me with your willingness to be held by me, to be close. I was… unprepared.”

“Hm.”

They were silent again, Loki letting one hand rest lightly on Tony's hip, and with a murmured question to make sure it was alright, he slid the other up and under Tony's back to his shoulder, pressing their bodies together tightly.

“I know this isn't easy, opening up.” Tony whispered. “I know how hard it was for me, and you have so much more going on, I can't imagine--”

“It is easy with you.” Loki interrupted. “Easier than I ever would have imagined it could be.” He lifted his head, staring deep into Tony's eyes. “Thank you. For your patience with me. For not running like so many else have. For seeing past… me to try and heal me. With you here, even Thor and I are able to speak again, and that is something I never thought would happen. Thank you.”

“Of course.” Tony's voice was rough, his eyes full. “Lo, I-- um--I'll do anything to help, whatever you need. I'm just glad that we are--”

Loki hushed him gently, his gaze dropping to Tony's mouth. “Might I kiss you, Anthony?”

“You don't have to ask.” Tony shook his head. “Anytime. Seriously.”

“I'll always ask.” Loki's hand left his hip, knuckles brushing over Tony's cheek. “Never should you think I take you for granted.”

The kiss was soft and slow, Loki's lips cool on Tony's until they warmed against him, his tongue twisting and slipping into Tony's mouth, teeth tugging at a full bottom lip until Tony was panting and shifting, his fingers digging into Loki's back.

“Loki, we should--” Tony forgot what he was going to say when Loki moaned into his mouth, when he rolled his hips in an easy motion that had Tony's back arching and his eyes slamming shut, both hands landing on Loki's hips to coax him to do it again.

“Anthony.” Loki's voice deepened, nearly rumbling in his chest and Tony surged up against him to deepen the kiss, hooking a knee between Loki's thighs and forcing him up until the demi-god was practically straddling him.

The blankets slid down Loki's back, Loki remembering at the last minute to secure them at his waist and Tony sent him a fake pout before lifting his head for another kiss, swallowing every sweet sound Loki made, every little desperate pant and quiet sigh, and when Tony lifted his own hips, pressing his cock into the soft curve of Loki's ass, they both shuddered, their kiss broken as they tried to breathe.

“Hey, can we--” Tony glanced down to where Loki was covered. “I thought it would be a while for us but I am just… all about you right now. You feeling… you feeling good? We alright?”

“You won't regret this tomorrow?” Loki murmured, and he seemed to withdraw a little, to maybe hold the blankets tighter. “Or when Thor returns home? I will say yes, if that's what you want, but I am not strong enough to--- I cannot handle having this, having you and then having it taken away.” something like panic filled his eyes. Panic and fear and self loathing and Tony sat up, swinging his legs over the lounge and sliding his arms around Loki’s waist.

“Hey Lo. Look at me, look at me.” He waited until Loki could meet his gaze. “Why don't we just lay together? It's a big step going from barely kissing to doing this, my bad for trying to rush it. We obviously need to talk about some more things, and trust each other more before this can happen. Let's just lay together, hm? Just hold each other?”

“Just… lay together.” Loki repeated. “Anthony, if more is what you want, I will not tell you no. Just… tell me to say yes, and I will. If this is what you want, you do not have to settle for less.”

Tony opened his mouth to protest, and then what Loki had said hit him and his mouth shut with a snap, his eyes going wide.

Loki mistook his hesitation for agreement, and moved against him, grinding down into Tony's lap and leaning to kiss him.

“Stop.” Tony jerked away at the last second and Loki stilled.

“I don't understand. I thought you wanted me to--”

“No. No. Stop.” Tony's eyes were closed, his hands holding Loki's wrists tightly, and he felt the instant Loki's mood changed, the instant his glamour slipped.

The air around them seemed to freeze, the skin he was touching dropping cold so quickly his teeth started chattering, and when Tony opened his eyes, horrified red was staring back at him.

“You don't want me.” Loki whispered and pulled free of Tony's grasp, gathering the blankets around his waist and pulling them to his chest.

“That's not-- God dammit.” Tony ran a hand over his face. “Loki, if you don't want this, why would you say yes?”

“Because you wanted it. Or I thought you did.”

“No, I was trying to tell you that we could just lay together and it would be fine. I was just getting a ‘not ready’ vibe from you. And then you said-- you said--” Tony took a deep breath, staring right into Loki's red eyes. “You said you wouldn't tell me no. Why wouldn't you tell me no? Why would you say yes if--”

********TW*********

“Sometimes no isn't an option.” Loki's voice was flat and terrible. “So I've learned to say yes.”

“Jesus Christ.” Tony wanted to scream, wanted to put his fist through a wall, wanted to wrap Loki in blankets and carry him far away from anyone who had ever hurt him. “Jesus Christ, Loki. No is always an option. Between you and I, you can say no to anything. Everything. I don't care. Just please say it. Please don't ever say yes because you think no isn't an option.”

Loki just kept looking at him with that awful blank expression.

“I don't even want to know why that option was taken from you.” Tony was shaking his head, running his hands through his hair. “I don't, I can't --”

“There are ways to break even the gods.” Loki answered dully, and Tony thought he would be sick, wrapping his arms around his waist and rocking back and forth on the couch.

“Loki, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Loki, Jesus Christ.”

“You are… distressed because of me. For me.” Loki said after watching him for a minute, and he sounded completely astonished. “You are… upset for me. Because of what I went through.”

“Sick to my stomach thinking that you are only telling me yes because you think I won't accept no.” Tony said through gritted teeth. “When did that change? When did you go from kissing me willingly to just letting me kiss you? When I asked for more? You just decided to keep going because I suggested it? Even though you didn't want to?”

“You obviously wanted more.” Loki pointed out. “And your concession to just lie together was obviously just--”

“It was true!” Tony snapped. “I was being serious! For the longest time all Thor and I did was share a bed and kiss and it was the safest I'd ever felt in my life. I wanted to share that with you because I knew you weren't ready for more and then-- then--” he covered his mouth when his stomach turned.

“I would kill them for you if I could.” Tony was furious, and Loki could only stare at him in surprise. “I would rip them apart and feed them to the fucking dogs.”

“Anthony.” Loki took a few steps in his direction, kneeling down close to Tony's feet. “You aren't angry with me. You are angry with… them?”

“Of course I'm not angry at you!” Tony yelled, then he forced himself to quiet. “I realize that me yelling is sort of counteracting that point, but no not angry with you. A little peeved that you would have gone through with this even if you didn't want to but--- no.” He seemed to deflate, his shoulders drooping. “It's not your fault. Thats not your fault. I just…it makes me hurt for you. All I could think about was you on top of me. You're beautiful and I want you and it didn't occur to me that maybe you didn't want me too---”

Cool fingers then, on the side of his face and when Tony looked up, Loki's eyes had returned to green and a tremulous smile was hovering on his lips.

“All the times I thought to speak of what happened, I never thought someone would be angry for me. I assumed that I wouldn't be believed, or perhaps I would be shunned. Most people would think I deserved it, after all the things I have done.”

“No one deserves that.” Tony snarled, and Loki inched closer.

**********TW END******

“Anthony of Midgard.” He cupped Tony's chin, rubbing a thumb over Tony's bottom lip. “Would you take me to bed and lie with me? I think falling asleep in your arms would heal something inside me.”

“Are you sure?” Tony asked hoarsely. “Because we don't have to--Loki no. Don't do this if--”

“Yes.” Loki pressed a soft kiss to Tony's lips. “Yes, darling, please. I cannot think of anything I would want more than to lie with you, to be held by you.”

A hand through Loki's hair, settling at the base of his neck. “I'm not going anywhere, Lo.” Tony said firmly. “We have all the time in the world to figure this out. I don't care if it takes years, I--”

“I can't imagine it taking years.” Loki smiled. “Because I want you as well, Anthony. But for right now, I would love to just… be with the one who eases my pain, who takes my hurt onto himself, the one who is strong enough to keep me right.”

Another kiss, lingering over each other's mouths with soft sighs.

“May we go to bed, darling?”

When Tony finally nodded, Loki pressed their foreheads together and snapped his fingers, sending them directly to his chambers, directly onto his bed.

And the servant who had finally shown up with a sandwich, apologizing over and over for it taking so long, saying something about the bread Tony had specifically requested needing to finish baking before they could use it, or something along those lines-- he walked into an empty room, with just a few blankets on the floor, and the lingering shimmer of magic in the air.

**********************

#ncts fics #thunderironfrost #frostiron #thunderiron #tony stark #thor #loki

[jo-the-schmo]

Breaking... Ch.13

Breaking Masterlist

A/N: ‘m really sorry if this chapter feels kinda rushed and out of no where, I’m at a weird point in the story and I don’t know how to go around it yet so I’m really sorry you may have to suffer through this. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Wordcount: 2964

Warnings: Cursing (like more than usual), arguing, just generally being upset, revelations

Tags: @iamnotthrowingawaymyshit @renae-writes @deltablue202 @literally-melonkitty@meunicorn @favouritefighting-frenchman @demi-godamit @gum-and-chips @sweaterkitty-fluff@pinkyiger7 @littlemissshortcakes@msageofenlightenment @unprofessional-inhumanbeing@fandom-panda-221@hummusandchips @spoopy-piineapple @ashwolfcub @myself-and-the-madman @sweet-fate @superwholockbooknerd526 @frozengal2013 @lmaodedhaha@itsmikayblr @sarmar29 @arya-durin-77 @phantastic-fandoms @hoshihime98 @shinigamired @martapetrovic @robotic-space @iamnotthrowingawaymyshit2 (lol) @asprinkleofmermaids @pinkyiger7 (I’m tagging you twice my friend!)

Breaking Chances

This is it. It’s only a few more hours until everyone gets back and honestly you couldn’t be happier. The past two months working for Burr have completely sucked ass. Seriously if I have to hear “talk less, smile more” one more time I’m going to shoot someone. Aaron let you have these last few days off, just in case they came back early. You finally had some time to think, and damn were you doing a lot of it. You realized after your horse accident you need to be more careful. You’re about 99.9% sure that the voices you heard were from your timeline. And you were even more sure that you heard Anna calling out to you. God, I must be worrying the hell out of her… I’m so sorry Anna… Being away from the Hamilton’s was a wakeup call in it of itself. You’d gotten too comfortable being with them, they were practically your family at this point. You didn’t want to risk the universe but you were scared. You felt selfish and that made you more scared. You’ve majorly fucked up; you can’t tell what the backlash from your actions will be. But honestly, you didn’t really care, if that made sense. What you did care about though was how they would feel. What if you just woke up back at home? What if you didn’t get to say goodbye? So you found a way to fix that. Letters. If Alexander and Rachel taught you anything it was that writing solves everything. Or at least, almost anything. You wrote a letter to everyone, just in case something happened. You told Johnny that he needs to open up more, there’s nothing wrong with being a bit more reserved but he needs to be more confident in himself and his voice. You told Jamie that he needs to stop being so serious all the time, it’s alright to be responsible but he needs to lighten up! He’s just a kid, kids need to have fun! You told AJ that he can’t ever let go of his positivity, always think on the bright side and be there for the people he loves when they go through tough times. To Angie you wrote about her determination. She’s strong and intelligent, she should never lose confidence in her abilities. You told her to explore, not to force herself to be the ‘typical lady’, be someone no one has ever seen before! You told Alexander that he needs to relax, spend more time with his family, slow down on the work. Life is too short to let it fly by. For Eliza, your words were simple. Never lose hope, don’t give up. She taught you a lot and she needs to be proud of all the amazing things she’s done and will continue to do. Philip…that was a different story. You didn’t know exactly what to say and that made you question yourself. It was easy to write to the others, no second drafts, no redoes or anything. But Philip’s required many sheets of wasted paper. Nothing you put down felt quite right. How do I feel about him? I definitely care about him, I’ll never find anyone as trusting or as kind as him, especially not back home. Am I falling for him? Oh no, what if I already have? Shit, do I… Do I love him? No! I’ve only known him a year, I can’t say ‘love’ yet! And what would that even mean if I did? I don’t want to hurt him; I know I will. But still… When I fanaticize at night, it’s into Philip’s eyes. What should I do? He deserves someone who can make him happy… But what even IS love? Is it when you see someone for the first time and know you’re meant to be? No, love at first sight is silly. Is it when you miss someone so much that it feels like you’re suffocating? Possibly, but that doesn’t exactly have to be romantic I suppose. Then what is it? Whenever I read Philip’s letters…my mind feels fuzzy, that’s never happened before. If we read in the study, I end up not reading at all. I peak my head over the book and just watch him, try to guess what he’s thinking, guess what chapter he’s on, count his freckles. I don’t get distracted by anyone else. He makes me forget things, sometimes I don’t even remember that I’m from the future. I feel at home with him, even when we’re both awkward and don’t know what to say. I’m never bored with him, he always talks to me, he’s interested in what I have to say and I wouldn’t miss what he has to say for the world. If I’m feeling anxious or sad, he’s always the first one by my side, trying to make me feel better any way he can, and it always works. I can’t stand seeing him in distress, I just want him to always be happy, even if that’s literally impossible. I just love everything about him! Wait… Holy shit, I just said ‘love’! Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, no! I…I love Philip Hamilton… Oh my god! What do I do?! Do I tell him?! Well duh, of course you tell him! Idiot! Nothing good comes out of hiding your feelings, but how do I do it? How do you even bring that up? Do I just blurt it out? No, then you’d look crazy! Real nice job, Y/N! You sighed and held you head in your hands. I never thought I’d ever feel so helpless… You looked up and out your window, the sun was high in the sky. Crap! They should be here any minute! You quickly put all your stuff away and ran out of your room, not bothering to check your appearance. Running down the hall and into the main room you heard a sound that made you both over joyed and incredibly nervous. You haphazardly moved some of your hair to sit over top the still healing cut, you hoped it wouldn’t scar so that your life could for once be a little easy. You stood in the middle of the room and waited for a moment. From outside you heard Eliza.

“We’re home everyone! Now children please grab your- Philip dear, where are you going? You need to get your bags!” You heard impatient footsteps on the steps and then the door flew open. Philip was there, waiting for a moment. A huge, dorky smile on his face, wide eyes. He looked so happy that you could barely see his freckles behind is smile.

“Star!” He called out excitedly as he ran towards you. He wrapped his arms around you, lifted you off the ground and span around. You gripped onto his shoulders cautiously.

“P-Philip! Come on! I-it’s only been a few months!” He set you back on the ground, you couldn’t help but feel a bit anxious as you looked up at him. You heard someone clear their throat and turned to see Alex, holding way too many bags. Eliza, holding a slightly bigger Willy than you remembered, and the children following close behind, but once the kids saw you they all rushed over.

“TT! I’ve missed you so much!” AJ yelled. Angie wrapped her arms around you, giving you a squeeze.

“Oh TT! You missed everything!” She pulled away. “I’m fourteen now! I’m a proper young lady! Isn’t that exciting?” She squealed. You chuckled, you missed her excitement. Jamie and Johnny both stepped up to you and shyly hugged your sides, you patted them both on the head. You looked up to see Eliza and Alex waiting to say hello. You walked over to them and wrapped one arm behind each of their backs. They gave you a gentle group hug and pulled away to look down at you. Eliza raised an eyebrow incredulously.

“Are you alright, my dear? You seem out of sorts.” Her voice was soft and full of concern.

“Um, yeah? I’m a bit tired but I would say I’m feeling okay.” Do I look sick or something? Philip stepped up beside you, Eliza and Alex walked around the both of you to check and make sure the children brought in all their things. Philip turned to face you, when he looked at you he seemed confused. Yet he was also amused by something. He chuckled softly.

“Were you writing before you came to greet us?” He laughed.

“Yeah, how’d you know?” He raised his hand to your cheek, he grazed your cheekbone with his thumb, your hair pushing out of the way as he did so. You didn’t even register what was happening at first. “You’ve got ink on your face silly…” His eyes suddenly widened. Oh no… He moved the rest of your hair, completely exposing the cut on your face. His eyes filled with something you can only equate to terror. “What happened? How did you get that?” He asked worriedly.

“Uh…Um, n-nothing happened?” What the hell am I doing?! He grabbed your hand and gave it a squeeze but now he seemed even more confused. He lifted your hand up and turned it in his own, making you palm visible. He focused on it, there were small almost scarred cuts on your hands. Damn you teacup!

“You’re lying; I know when you’re lying! Wait, why are you lying?” He asked with panic. “Did someone do this? Was it the suitor? Did he find you?” Who’s he talking…? YOU’VE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME! No! Did he really remember that? Aw, he really does pay attention! Fuck, no Y/N! This is serious! You instinctively pulled your hand away and took a step back.

“I… I can’t…” You looked down at the ground, you couldn’t even look at him in that moment, you could hardly speak. I just found out I love him, how am I supposed to lie to him? But if I tell him the truth… it’ll crush him. I can’t do that; I can’t do that to him!

“You can’t what? Can’t talk to me? I thought you trusted me! We promised not to lie to each other!” He sounded genuinely hurt, you didn’t know why but you felt angry. Not at him but at yourself for getting into this mess.

“I don’t have to tell you everything Philip! It’s not like I’m your wife or something! And even if I was I don’t have to tell you shit!” You shot back. What am I doing? Where did that even come from?

“Well who even said I’d want you as my wife? Because I sure as hell don’t want my wife to lie to me!”

“What else do you expect me to do Philip? You wouldn’t understand! You’re just a kid!” You yelled. Philip’s eyes looked like they could pop out of his head, but for some reason you couldn’t tell what he was thinking. I hate it when I can’t guess what people are thinking!

“So…that’s how you really feel, huh?” He asked softly. You didn’t move, your muscles were completely tensed up, your hands were clenched into fists and shaking. Philip let out something like a short laugh. “Of course, I’m such an idiot.” He turned and walked away from you, past everyone else and up the stairs. You didn’t dare take a breath until you heard his door shut. What did…Oh God… Philip, I’m so sorry…so sorry… You felt tears running down your face, your shoulders moving up and down with your cries. You covered your mouth to muffle the sobbing. Eliza and Alex were whispering behind you, after a moment you heard Alex speak to you in a calm voice.

“Y/N? Are you alright?” He stepped up to you and placed his hand on your shoulder, you shook it off. He began to say your name again but you cut him off by gathering your skirt and running to the door. You swung it open and rushed out. You didn’t know what you were doing, you weren’t processing anything, melting snow crunched under your shoes. The sun was warm but the air was sharp. You ran out of the yard and down the road, you didn’t realize where you were going, until you came upon that lamp post. The one that you woke up under on your first day in this strange old and new world. You stood in front of it and kicked it with all your might, not caring how badly it might hurt.

“Damn it! Why? Why me? I didn’t ask for this! Take me back! I want to go home! Do you hear me? Take me back!” You screamed, so loud it made your throat burn. Your knees hit the ground, you couldn’t stand anymore. You felt weak, and this time you couldn’t lie to yourself. “I’m helpless… I ruined everything!” Your vision was blurry but as you looked down at the ground, a small light flashed into your right eye. You wiped away your tears so you could get a better look at it. There was a small plaque at the base of the lamp post, you didn’t remember it being there before but it looked old and worse for wear. The only part you could make out was the end. “…nix? What?” The beginning was blocked out by some kind of metal fragments imbedded in it. It looks like…what is that? Broken shrapnel? Whatever it is, it’s making this really hard to figure out. What does ‘nix’ mean? That’s obviously not all that’s there. You heard footsteps quickly approaching you, you didn’t bother to look up. Whoever it was kneeled down beside you.

“Titania! You can’t just run off like that! Or at least tell us where you are going first!” Alex said, trying to catch his breath.

“…Alex…What have I done?” You asked as you continued to stare at the golden metal plate. Alex sighed.

“I’m positive that if you just-“

“Not that! None of this was supposed to happen… Everything I get close to ends up going to hell. What have I done to deserve this? How could I make such an idiotic mistake? I made the man I love hate me…” Alex was silent for a moment.

“We all make mistakes, some worse than others.” He placed his hand on your shoulder once more and you raised your head up toward the sky. “Look at where you are, look at where you started. The fact that you’re alive is a miracle. Just stay alive and that would be enough for him. Look at how lucky you are to be alive right now!” He said with fatherly optimism. “I can’t pretend I don’t know the challenges you’re facing. The words you keep erasing and replacing in your mind. But I can tell that he’s just as afraid. He knows that he loves you, he wants to grant you peace of mind. All you have to do is let him inside your heart.”

“But I’m scared… I shouldn’t be a part of the narrative in the stories they’ll write someday…”

“Yes, you should. Let this moment be the first chapter where you decide to stay.” He encouraged.

“But could I be enough? Would this be enough?”

“It will be enough.” He finished. You knew he was right, you made a mistake but as long there was even a slim chance at redemption, you knew you had to take that chance. Even if he still hates you in the end.

“When should I tell him?” You asked.

“Not now, I believe he needs some time to cool down. I would suggest apologizing in a few days but don’t confess your feelings just yet. You’ll both need time to adjust before you can accept your mutual fondness.” You nodded in agreement. It was probably best to keep your feelings a secret for now, at least until you both felt comfortable again. “While we are away from the others I have a question for you Titania. Rachel, she left with Cato didn’t she?” He asked, you turned your gaze toward him, obvious shock painted on your features.

“How? How did you know?” You asked curiously, he chuckled.

“When we heard from Mulligan that Cato was gone, everyone was shocked. That is, except for Betsy and I. We saw the way she looked at him, to us it was obvious. She’s a bit of a rebel, isn’t she? Laurens would be very proud of her.” He smiled. Wait what? Laurens? As in John Laurens?! Like leader of the first all-black battalion?! “She may not look like him but she sure as hell has his spirit!” He laughed. OH MY GOD JOHN LAURENS IS RACHEL’S DAD HOLY FUCKING SHIT!

“My friend is the daughter of one of the first anti-slavery activists in American history… And fell in love with the slave of one of his closest friends…while she was raised by the other…Wow…” Honestly at this point you had an incredible headache, you had a lot to think about and you told Alex that. He agreed and you both made your way back to the house. You immediately went into your room and fell onto your bed. Making irreversibly bad decisions is exhausting… I wish Rachel was still here…just so that I could talk to her. I wish Anna was here! Why do both of my green-eyed best friends have to be so far away?! If Angie was a little older I would have no issue with talking with here…actually her and Anna are pretty similar sometimes… I guess I’m just going to have to deal with this one on my own! Hopefully I’m not running out of time...

#hamilton #hamilton the musical #hamilton fanfic #alexander hamilton #eliza schuyler #Philip Hamilton #angelica schuyler #mulligan #lafayette #John Laurens #thomas jefferson #james madison #aaron burr #philip x reader #time travel au #CAN WE GET BACK TO POLITICS #hamilton an american musical

[bharatiyamedia-blog]

Zendaya’s Rue Is Addicted & Eric Dane Goes Full Frontal – Hollywood Life

http://tinyurl.com/y4dpdpn2 ‘Euphoria’ is the present everyone seems to be speaking about. Within the June 16 sequence premiere, Zendaya’s character Rue will get out of rehab and there’s a last-second twist that may go away you shook. Euphoria follows Rue (Zendaya), a struggling teen hooked on medicine. She was identified with OCD, ADD, and basic anxiousness at a younger age. Her physician additionally stated there was a chance she was bi-polar, however it was too early to inform. Rue was prescribed quite a lot of medicine and absolutely admits that she doesn’t keep in mind a lot from when she was eight to 12. The world moved quick and her mind moved sluggish. She was in a fog. “In some unspecified time in the future, you make a alternative about who you’re and what you need,” Rue says. She explains the explanation behind why she makes use of medicine as her escape: “After which it occurs. That second when your breath begins to sluggish, and each time you breathe, you breathe out all of the oxygen you’ve got. All the pieces stops — your coronary heart, your lungs, and at last your mind. All the pieces you are feeling and want and need to overlook, all of it simply sinks. After which abruptly, you give it air once more, give it life once more… after which over time, it’s all I wished. These 2 seconds of nothingness.” That chase for nothingness lands Rue in rehab the summer time earlier than junior yr. Rue is completely trustworthy about her habit. “I had no intention of staying clear,” Rue admits. Rue then goes to see her pal Fezco (Angus Cloud) to get extra medicine. On her method, she sees Jules (Hunter Schafer), who has simply moved to city. Jules, a trans lady, moved to the suburbs together with her dad after her mother and father acquired divorced. She’s messaging males on an app and agrees to fulfill up with one named DominantDaddy on the app. Rue crosses paths with Nate (Jacob Elordi) whereas getting her subsequent repair. When speaking about Nate, a hotshot soccer participant who’s the definition of The Worst, Rue references “sh*t with Jules.” So you realize issues go down. Nate is prepping for his pal’s finish of summer time occasion and attempting to recover from his ex-girlfriend, Maddy (Alexa Demie). Maddy is preparing for the occasion as effectively and making an attempt to maneuver on from Nate, who continuously criticized her once they had been collectively. When Rue returns dwelling from getting medicine, her mother calls for to know the place she’s been, together with her sister, Gia (Storm Reid), watching the battle from a distance. Her mother needs to drug check her now, so Rue has to scramble up a plan. She goes to nice lengths to go the drug check. She runs to her buddy’s home to get recent urine and tapes the container to her leg earlier than operating again dwelling. Her mother talks concerning the time Rue overdosed. Gia was the one to seek out Rue unconscious and choking on her personal vomit. “I do know a whole lot of you in all probability hate me proper now and I get it. If I may very well be a special individual, I promise, I’d,” Rue says. “Not as a result of I would like it however as a result of they do. And therein lies the catch.” Rue manages to go the drug check with out letting her mother understand how and she or he heads out to the occasion after telling her mother she’s spending the night time at a buddy’s home. Jules heads out as effectively to fulfill DominantDaddy, whose actual identify is Cal (Eric Dane). “Wanting again on it, she in all probability would have been higher off going to McKay’s,” Rue notes. Jules goes to the motel to fulfill up with the person from the app. She tells him that she’s 22 years outdated and visiting her grandparents. Cal tells her that she’s lovely. “I’m envious of your technology, you realize,” he tells Jules. “You guys don’t care as a lot concerning the guidelines.” They strip down, with Cal going full frontal, and have tough intercourse. It’s throughout shortly. When Cal finishes, he simply will get up and walks to bathe. There’s no emotion. Nothing. Whereas he’s within the bathe, Jules picks up Cal’s telephone and sees an image of his household. McKay’s first identify is Chris (Algee Smith). He actually likes this lady named Cassie (Sydney Sweeney). Earlier than the occasion, his associates are calling her a “whore” and teasing him about Cassie. Nate exhibits him leaked bare photographs of Cassie. Nate, nonetheless extraordinarily indignant over how issues ended with Maddy, tells Chris to “f**ok her just like the whore that she is and kick her ass to the curb.” Critically, Nate is horrible. However Nate will get into Chris’s head. When he’s hooking up with Cassie, he instantly will get tough and begins to choke her. She yells at him to cease. Chris instantly backs off and says he thought she favored that. “Don’t do it once more, until you ask me first,” Cassie tells him. On the occasion, Maddy and Nate are attempting to make one another jealous. Maddy decides having intercourse in a pool with a man she simply met is the factor to do. In the meantime, Kat (Barbie Ferreira) is downstairs consuming and smoking with a bunch of fellows. She’s a virgin and is on a mission to have intercourse earlier than junior yr begins. She decides to have intercourse with a man from one other college on the occasion. Rue runs into Fezco. He will get actual together with her. He admits that he missed her whereas she was away at rehab. He needs her to know that this “drug sh*t is just not the reply. ” She opens up about how she acquired concerned with medicine within the first place. When she was taken to the hospital after a panic assault, the physician gave her liquid valium to calm her down. “When it hit me, I assumed, that is it. That is the sensation I’ve been trying to find my complete life for so long as I can keep in mind as a result of abruptly the world went quiet. And I felt protected in my very own head.” That is her method to deal with life. She’s effectively conscious of the implications, however she’s made her alternative. Nate will get phrase about Maddy having intercourse within the pool and goes to see it for himself. Everyone seems to be filming it. When she embarrasses him, he storms again inside and begins screaming within the kitchen. He sees Jules, who simply minding her personal enterprise, and corners her. He asks her who she’s associates with at this occasion. “No one who seems such as you is minding their very own f**king enterprise,” he seethes in her face. “I do know what you’re.” He threatens her and Jules goes into protecting mode. She grabs a knife and he shortly backs off. She factors the knife at him. He claims he was simply joking together with her. She slices her arm proper in entrance of Nate to scare him. Jules leaves and Rue follows her. She asks Jules if she will be able to come dwelling together with her. Rue helps Jules clear up her lower. The subsequent day, Nate goes dwelling and walks inside. On the wall are household photographs. His dad is none aside from DominantDaddy! “Keep in mind after I stated issues acquired bizarre,” Rue says. “So, yeah.” Within the morning, Rue and Jules are mendacity in mattress collectively. Rue asks Jules, “Wanna get excessive?” Source link