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#i just also am maybe grieving lmao
mental-scurvy · 2 years
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Me: *makes a post about a fanfic, tags it really thoroughly including the name of the fic*
* the author of that fic sees and reblogs my post*
Me:
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forestgreenlesbian · 2 months
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#feel like my relationship with my younger brother is changed completely forever not to be dramatic lol but i am sad#we used to b very close but he has kind of. found his faith again and gone full missionary christian which like. i knew meant the dynamic#was doomed lmao but actually acknowledging it makes me sad i feel like i'm grieving for the friendship we used to have even though#it is literally a me problem i think from his perspective he doesn't think anything has changed. but i feel weird about everything#also his new gf is nineteen and he is. almost 25 and i am the only one who feels weird about it like i know she's over 18 but! idk i can't#tell if i'm being overly cautious or if my gut instinct is right. my sister & her husband have a similar age gap but they met when they wer#both over 30 so like. it didn't feel weird. and i didn't feel comfortable actually seriously talking to him about it apart from the first#time he mentioned her over facetime (he went to another country to do mission stuff & met her there) so like an idiot i've just been#making jokes about the age gap becausee like. thats always been our thing lightly bullying each other lol but he blew up at me and said#i've had nothing positive to say about her since he's been back home and that he thinks i hate her and i'm out of line for constantly#implying he's creepy for dating someone younger. idk i felt like such a freak idiot horrible person about it. it completely blindsided me#bc yes the jokes were coming from a place of idk how i feel about this situation so i'm going to rely on the humour-based communication#we have always fallen back on as a safety thing but i guess i was wrong or the dynamic shifted or something anyway it's all fucked#& everyone is just telling me i feel weird out of some?? misplaced kind of jealousy thing?? because i'm 'losing' my brother to his gf lol#which does not feel right at all he has dated so many other girls and i have never had a problem it is literally the age gap like i haven't#even met this girl i'm sure she's very nice! i just worry about her being nineteen!! jesus. and yes maybe i do feel some resentment around#a brother younger than me who seems to be able to live his life with zero difficulty whilst i'm stuck being this unemployed loser who ruins#literally ever friendship & relationship ive ever had but i think thats ok right like i can't help feeling that. i don't fucking knowwww#am i just projecting all these sad feelings about our friendship dying onto his new relationship or like. am i right to be genuinely#concerned she's six years younger than him and still a fucking teenager!!!!!! i don't know
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werepires · 5 months
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scattered-winter · 10 months
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horrifying self recognition through the other aside this has been an actually not terrible start to The Family Gathering tbh
#my cousin who i havent really seen in a while came up to me and asked abt my pronouns because i came out to the fam a while ago#and he didnt really remember what id said (which. fair. its a big family w lots of things to remember)#and so he asked what my pronouns were and i told him and he promised that if he ever messed up i needed to make him#do like 5 or 10 pushups lmao#and ngl. its the sweetest thing anyone in this family has ever said to me abt that#everyone else has kinda just. moved on. and either forgotten that im not a girl or purposefully ignoring it.#and idk maybe i should stand up for myself a little more but ive been practically a doormat all my life#and idk. its hard using my voice and establishing boundaries when ive let ppl bulldoze over me for almost 20 years.#sigh. anyway.#im gonna be thinking about that all day tbh it was genuinely so sweet#and i am also being consumed by The Loneliness again <3#just. i want someone to just talk to about all this??? someone who isnt in my family because they all have stakes in it too?????#we're all grieving. i aint special.#i just want to talk to someone about it in person so they can hold my hand while i cry myself to sleep because ngl#thats what it looks like we're doing tonight#im just. tired of feeling alone in this enormous family where it seems like im the only odd man out#and also ykw the Not Having Any Irl Friends loneliness too. thats also pretty significant.#not saying my internet friends arent great i love yall so so so much but it has just been .#a really really long time since ive had a good cry n hug session w someone.#sigh. im tired i need to go to bed#winter speaks#personal
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backslashdelta · 1 year
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#mine#personal#tw death#thinking about how when someone dies the reaction is to bring food to their family#like casseroles and miscellaneous baked goods and whatnot#and tbh I never thought about it too hard but when I did I was always thinking like#yeah that makes sense. they're grieving and dealing with funeral arrangements and are probably busy and don't have time to cook#but like now I think it's not so much that. it's just that it's almost a universal way to show love#like here I am so sorry for your loss. Please have this food I took the time to make for you#and even if it's not homemade there's just something about giving food to others that is so. loving? idk#like to me sharing food and having meals together has always been associated with so much love#I feel like there is something really special about sitting down to eat a meal that's been prepared by someone you love for you#or having someone enjoy food you've made for them#or even if it's bought! it doesn't need to be homemade. the thought is there either way.#and like idk it's nice to express condolences through words obviously but it also can be awkward and just. idk.#maybe food is just my love language lmao I don't know#but what I do know is that I am having a lot of feelings about this right now#I will eat my cheese tea biscuits and I will eat my butterscotch tarts#and while doing so I will be reminded of how much I am loved and cared for#I have always treated food as a bit of a comfort and regardless of whether or not that has always been the healthiest outlook#I think in this case it really is kind of a beautiful thing that this is what we do to express our condolences#I feel like I'm not quite expressing the thoughts that I wanted to express but I'm not sure how to say them in a better way
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skyeateyourdonuts · 1 year
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dangerrrrrr
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burnthybread · 2 years
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oh Ho Ho extreme anxiety moment (now that I’m done writing all that don’t read if you don’t mind ! I know that by posting it i shoukd assume it’s gonan be read but it’s just a 17 y/o freaking out and trying to ground themself 😊)
#it 2 am and it’s first day back after a week off tomorrow yippie#and I’m worried about the stupid piece of shir person who cheated on me… cheating on me AGAIN yippie x2#and I’m still grieving#and I made the choice to distance myself from my friend group because they’re shit to me Yuppie#and I’m up in four and a half hours Yippie#I’m mostly just writing this out because i really hope I can feel better#OH AND I HAVE EXAMS NEXT WEEK LMAO !#but yeah maybe writing this shit out will make me feel a little better. i need to sleep and I need to sleep well#and I also need to learn how to cope with the extreme anxiety in regards to the person. because it’s not worth it and it’s severely#affecting me. who cares what he does. he’s already proven himself a lame piece of shit and just because I value him as a friend doesn’t#mean he has any affect on me#I need to learn to not rely on him. it’s not good it’s an issue I can’t jus rely on one person (or people in general(not in a emo way!))#what was I saying#I need to learn not to place my entire self worth on how people feel about me#because people are always going to leave one way or another (not EVERYONE ALWAYS LEAVES I mean loss is just inevitable. it comes w love)#ok that’s good I’ve isolated that#I just need to force myself to put worth in myself#and that can be hard because I have no stable footing. no family means I’ll find this stuff difficult#but I’ll always have Charly. he’s my rock. he’s always gonna be there for me and I know he’ll never abandon me#i know he’ll always have my corner#okay what I’m saying here sounds like the whole ‘placing my entire self on another person liking me’ but like most people have Family who#Love Them. most people have that rock from birth. i dont. i have a Charly#I know it goes against everything I aid but I need that. i just need something to cling onto while I find my footing#like a rock!!! but this time like rock climbing. i like analogies#see I was going to say Josh (not cheater#sorry put comma. not cheater. my friend) said I was real good at analogies but instead of saying that I said#I Like analogies!! see I’m not placing my self worth and image on what another person says/feels guys#i am a terrible person#But terrible people are still alive and alive people need to function so even if I’m terrible I have to Function#and functioning includes all of the above
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thecherrygod · 2 years
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Oh okay yeah this is a bad time of the year for me and considering it just started kinda and i already feel this bad i am sports concerned how is gonna go for the next .... Few months
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Heyyyy, it's the anon who had sent about Half-Life ask (the bad wolf and the bunny one).
I just had a headcanon that Bunny would have that much of a high tolerance towards alcohol. Like Leon can't get drunk due to his mutation and since they went to the castle, they definitely grabbed like an age old whiskey that is very rich in alcohol content (I don't drink, so I don't know what is in whiskey exactly I am sorry 😭). Reader might get unintentionally touchy with Leon and he is just !! The soft fingers and the barely calloused palms just caressing him like he is a mystical being yet so so fucking special is just sending him into overdrive. Again, his mutation causes his senses to be more advanced and evolved than that of a human so feeling every line on your palm and the warmth makes him want to keen and nuzzle into your hand but at the same time he is afraid of accidentally cutting your skin with his very sharp teeth.
Also, reader might giggle and sit on the table just ruffling his hair and drunkenly smooching his hair and all that 🥺❤️
A-and, reader might be wearing like really really small pyjama shorts and a spaghetti strap top because alcohol makes you warm right??? And Leon is just there trying not to mark you up and nuzzle into you like a golden labrador. Also very cat-like of Leon to knead biscuits and tickle you to soothe you and make you drowsy while at the same time he is revelling in his affections. Yes, he is still grieving about the human life he used to have and he literally just wants you and you so are so soft and warm and so fucking cute when he squeezes you with those cute ass squeals and giggles coming from your very very kissable and warm lips 🥺🥺
I wanna cry, I love when characters yearn over fat cuties and find over them 😭😭❤️❤️❤️
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OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS SO MUCH!
YOUR MIND!!!
I just love the idea of affectionate drunk Bunny clinging to Leon who absolutely loves the attention but is just sitting there like 😳 about it. The poor bug man would struggle so much lmao. The way he’d just want to lick her (cos kissing is kinda hard from his end with protruding giant, sharp teeth lmao).
He’d make do with gently touching her instead, and maybe pressing his nose into the crook of her neck and just breathing her in, reveling in the fact that finally, he has someone here who cares about him and even if she leaves when this is said and done, he will commit every little moment to memory and play them over and over for the rest of his life.
He may call himself “the big bad wolf”, but a dog is still loyal to its pack.
And especially loyal to whom it has deemed its mate.
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crypticspacecat · 1 year
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bish ykw? ive just realised ive never returned the favour in asking for a request LOOOL so here i am requesting: DILFtaro seeming to always find himself looking like an absolute GOOF in front of his crush, black!fem reader — who also happens to be lil jolyne’s toddler pilates teacher 😁😁
I'm ngl, when I read your request, I was listening to this song LMAO
Hope you enjoy!
(Y/N), the Pilates instructor loves kids. While getting her teaching certification, she works with toddlers part-time. First meeting the instructor, Jotaro was at a loss for words. Her expressive brown eyes, her beautiful goddess locs always in a high ponytail, and radiant brown skin stunned the single father. He almost ran into the door after meeting the young woman, much to his dismay. This feeling, he hasn’t felt this since first meeting his late wife. It’s the first time in years he’s actually considered dating anyone and he feels like a lovesick teenager. 
Move❤️✨️
Being a single dad (or parent for that matter) is not for the weak. Jotaro, despite the passing of his late wife, managed the hurdles pretty damn well. One of the biggest obstacles was properly bonding with Jolyne. Between his grieving and demanding toddler, he was emotionally ready to explode. A saving grace in the form of a co-worker one day tells him about a toddler Pilates class at the local gym. Since then, he’s been taking Jolyne to the local gym while he also gets a workout himself for the past month and a half.
Every time he tries to talk to her, something always seems to trip him up. Whether he either stutters or even freezes before bidding a brief “Goodbye”. He still cringes at what happened last week.
‘Jotaro, like every other week, brings Jolyne to the toddler’s Pilates class. He once again sees her talking to another parent. She of course is sporting her usual pink crop top and leggings that hugged her body well. Especially her butt…
“Oh, good morning Mr. Kujo!” She greets him, snapping him out of his daydreaming state. She walks over, her hips swaying while she walks. The single father’s heart starts to race, making sure he says the right words.
“Hey (Y/N). Um, how’s it going?” He replies sheepishly, scratching the back of his head.
“Things are well, classes have been running smoothly! I hear you’re a marine biologist, I bet that’s exciting.”
“Yeah, it’s pretty interesting, I sometimes travel and-”
“HI MS. (Y/N)!” Jolyne yells, prompting Jotaro to mutter a ‘yare yare daze’ whilst covering his face with his cap. The teacher squats down to greet the eager toddler.
“Hi Jolyne! How are you today?” (Y/N) gleams, sincerity in her that Jotaro definitely noticed.
“Am good, my daddy reeeeaaaallly likes you.” Jolyne says, prompting Jotaro to silently scold her.
“What? It’s truuu, are you gonna be my new momm-”
“Ok, um I have to go before I’m late for work. Have fun Jolyne.” Jotaro says before speeding out of the gym, face red as a tomato.’
Hoping she doesn’t remember the incident, he brings Jolyne to the gym once more. Jotaro sees (Y/N) making small talk with a parent. She’s once again sporting her usual crop top with pitch-black leggings. 
“Hi, Dr. Kujo!” The teacher greets him, making her way to him and Jolyne. He admires the way her hips sway as she walks toward him.
“Hey, how’s the class going?” He asks
“Class is good, everyone is doing well and making vast improvements. Happy to see you, Jolyne!” She gleams, squatting at Jolyne’s height.
“Hi Ms. (Y/N)!” Jolyne says before running to her friends. 
“Jolyne is great kid, she’s always super eager in class.” (Y/N) says as she gets up from her squatting position.
“Yeah, she always had a fiery spirit.” He says, trying to be nonchalant.
“Oh, also, about last week-”
“I’m really sorry about that, Jolyne can be a little much sometimes.” Jotaro shyly says, still having the scene replay in his head.
“It’s fine, I actually wanted to ask you something.”
“Oh...um, sure.” Jotaro mutters, feeling his palms getting sweaty.
“Um, whenever you’re free, maybe you want to go out to dinner?” she asks, shocking Jotaro. He honestly never considered whether she liked him back or not. The stalling lasts for a few more seconds before Jotaro finally answers.
“Yeah, I would love to.” He says, gaining some last-minute courage. She smiles at the answer, making his heart skip a beat. He actually did it! Well, she asked him first, but Jotaro still counts this as a victory.
“Oh, here’s my number and you can call me anytime.” (Y/N) mentions with a wink. Jotaro shares his contact information before leaving for work and her class starting. 
He gets in the car, dramatically taking a deep breath before starting the car. He drives away from the gym with a small smirk on his face, looking forward to the date.
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moonypears-blog · 2 months
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Hi so I had ✨️thoughts✨️ on a concept for a stf episode/scenario/etc that I remembered tangentially related to your Papa story (so good btw) (also this may end up being long I'm so sorry)
It'd most likely be something geared towards an older audience (like not kindergartners lol, something for the spinoff whenever that happens maybe? Idk what the target audience for it will be considering we dont know anything about it) and framed as either a Father's Day or Halloween episode (I don't think we got any Father's day eps other than the one episode I hate with a burning passion)
Basically, Sofia is going through her things and finds something of Birk's, whether it be some sort of sailing gear or clothing or a gift or an image of them together (idk it could be anything, we know borderline nothing about this man) and she's hit with what I'm going to call the Rose Quartz effect. Missing a parent who you barely/don't know, having unanswered questions that won't/can't be answered, having all these conflicting feelings about this one person and feeling all of them yet none of them at the same time. Losing a parent at such a young age is rough and was just the tip on the iceberg of Sofia growing up far faster than she needed to.
Where am I going with this? Well, because of all of these unanswered questions and difficult emotions, Sofia wants to talk to her deceased father. Ghosts exist canonically in the series, who's to say they can't be summoned? Maybe she gets help from Cedric, or she finds a book on her own, or maybe she even gets help from Lucinda and the witches or that one ghost from the Ghostly Gala episode who's name I can't remember but I definitely had a crush on as a kid.
The main conflict of the episode would probably be all of these internal conflicting desires for Sofia, possibly also Miranda's own feelings about her belated husband (is this how you use belated? Idk lol).
Regardless of how it happens, the episode ends/has its final act with Sofia summoning her father, Birk. He sees how much his little girl has grown up, how brave and kind and smart she is. She gets to see and say goodbye to her father a final time and get proper closure. Maybe throw in a line or two there from Birk on just how grown up Sofia is, almost (definitely) too grown up for a pre-teen/adolescent girl.
The message of the episode would probably be something about grief and the process of it all, how it's okay to be angry that someone you love is gone, how talking about it opens old wounds but helps to heal them. It's bittersweet.
But yeah definitely not something suited for what the original demographic for stf was. Of course important to talk about, but with what I'm talking about it'd probably go over such young heads.
Sorry that this is so long! I had to get all my thoughts out and it got pretty rambley lmao
This is such a good idea for an episode!
I agree that Birk would be disheartened at how grown up Sofia is, obviously he'd know she's grown since she was five, but she's too far ahead, and not in the natural way that some children just emotionally mature quicker than their peers.
I think even though it's been a long time and Sofia doesn't really have anything to miss as she hardly knows life with him, she still really misses Birk, like I said in chapter two of "Papa..." some days she just wants to be by herself and lay in bed grieving him. I wish the show brought it up, especially for the potential children watching who lost one of their parents like Sofia. This would be a really good episode for that reason alone, honestly.
Honestly it wouldn't surprise me if this spin off went a more mature route, considering how a good deal of the fans are teens and adults, and there's going to be people watching who grew up on the show and are now older just out of curiosity. If I remember rightly something similar happened with miraculous ladybug, they started making the episodes more mature after the creators realised the main audience was teens and adults, not their original target audience. I've seen Craig interact with lots of older fans so he definitely knows they're a big audience!
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wren-kitchens · 1 year
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this is only the first half but upon writing the second half i’ve found I am Very Bad at writing sleepover scenes, so you get the first bit lmao
anyway! this was mainly written for @stiffyck and scar angst co. but also partially so I could project onto block men with my silly little writing
cw for: self loathing, panic attacks and mentions of death! (it is hurt/comfort I promise)
scar sits bolt upright, gasping for breath, lungs burning. it takes a second for him to remember where he is, for his senses to catch up to him. he can breathe; he’s alive.
he looks around. scar is sat in his bed, suit slightly rumpled, hat on his bedside table. jellie meows at the door, apprehensive.
scar breathes. “hey, jellie. it’s okay, i’m alright. do you want to come up here?” he wheedles. “can I get a cuddle?”
jellie meows again and hops up onto the bed, pushing her head against scar’s cheek and purring.
“there’s a good girl.” scar says, sagging in relief. he doesn’t quite know what he’d do if jellie left him.
the thought brings a sharp pang of something he can’t quite name. if he had to, he’d call it loneliness, but that doesn’t do it justice. isolated, might be more accurate. he’d forgotten, for a blissful moment, how that felt.
scar presses his hands against his eyes, no, he won’t cry. not again. not right now. jellie meows and bats at his hand with her paw.
“i’m okay.” he says, unsure whether it’s directed more at jellie or himself. “yup, we’re all good.”
she makes an unconvinced mrrp noise, nudging his arm with her nose. scar moves his hands away and gives her a scratch between her ears. 
“i’m alright, jellie.” scar smiles at her, sliding off the bed and moving to the window. “life games are.. well, you know how they are. and-“ he stops, now looking down onto the boatem hole. 
where every member of boatem has assembled. 
scar’s breath comes fast and shallow. he watches as grian runs up to mumbo and throws his arms around him, obviously apologising. pearl looks pale and is clearly struggling to keep the shaky smile on her face. mumbo is barely moving, contrasting to his ordinarily boundless nervous energy. it occurs to scar that it’s their first life series ever.
of course, how could he have been so selfish? it’s their first time dealing with all this, and scar is lamenting over feeling lonely?
he sinks to the ground, and this time he won’t cry. he doesn’t get that liberty—not whilst pearl and mumbo have just gone through a death game for the first time, and his biggest problem is feeling a little sad because all his friends left him.
his breath is catching in his throat, tears burning in his eyes. his chest aches and he hates it and it’s all wrong and it’s all his fault, and why does he feel like this, no wonder everyone left, no wonder-
scar is gasping now, though he barely pays attention to it. maybe, he wonders distantly, if he dies he won’t come back again. maybe, he almost hopes, people would grieve.
his hands are in his hair and pulling hard. why would they grieve? why should they grieve? what a horrible thought, what a disgustingly selfish thing to think, he has no right to indulge like this when the people he loves are hurting.
scar ought to stay here, out of the way, protecting who he doesn’t deserve to call ‘friends’. after all, repulsive as his private thoughts are, they can’t hurt anyone as is.
yes, that’s what he’ll do. here, stay here, he won’t leave. that’s a good idea, yes.
he feels lightheaded and his scalp hurts from yanking at his hair. he’s glad his spawn is set in this room.  the blood is rushing in his ears, and he almost doesn’t notice when jellie pushes the door open and pads out of the room.
it hits him like a blow. jellie’s left him.
no, no that’s good, he reminds himself. he couldn’t bear to hurt her as much as he obviously hurt everyone else. she- grian has cats, he’ll take care of her. hey, unrelated question, what does it feel like for your heart to break?
scar realises he’s sobbing. no, that can’t be, he’s fine. he shouldn’t be the one hurting- he isn’t the one hurting. he’s overexaggerating, he just wants to have some reason for people to feel sorry for him, he’s an attention seeker.
see? he thinks. this is why everyone left him. of course, why wouldn’t they? honestly, scar should just leave and never come back, save them all the hassle. everyone would be happy again! all the problems seem to stem from him anyway, it’d make everything so much better.
scar chokes back another round of tears as he thinks of mumbo, and pearl, and grian, and impulse. god he loves them. he hates this, he hates this so much—and yet, he feels like he isn’t allowed to decide what he hates.
his chest aches, and his head throbs, and his stomach hurts, and even jellie has gone, and he can’t believe people stuck around him so long that he thought he was loved because of course he’s not.
he followed mumbo and grian here, they never wanted him in the first place. mumbo left him for fish and sugarcane on last life, in 3rd life, grian only stuck by him because he owed scar.
scar buries his face in his knees, curling up against the wooden panels, trying to take up as little space as he can. his whole body is shaking, he can’t seem to get enough air into his lungs. he’s fine, he’s fine, he’s fine.
but then-
“scar?”
scar freezes, suddenly panicking. no, they can’t see him like this. they’ll worry about him, and he’s fine, but it’ll upset them because they’ll think he’s not.
but something selfish, deep in his chest hopes they do come in, hopes they might comfort him, hopes they still love him.
“can I open the door?” it’s grian. grian is here, voice gentle and asking permission to come in. the selfish part of scar desperately wants him to. 
“yeah.” scar sounds awful, even he can hear that.
the door is slowly pushed open, revealing not just grian, but the whole of boatem. mumbo is fidgeting again, pearl has the colour back in her face. thank void.
“oh, scar.” grian looks like he’s about to cry. “can we hug you?”
scar can’t quite suppress a sob. “please.”
his mind hisses, selfish, selfish, selfish.
grian is across the room in a second, and scar presses his face into his shoulder and cries. scar feels the rest of them up against him too, and he can’t understand why they don’t seem to care how awful he is.
“i’m sorry.” scar manages. “I didn’t- I shouldn’t-“
“scar, no.” grian tells him, voice cracking. “you have nothing to apologise for. none of this was your fault.”
“but-“ selfish, selfish.
“nope.” pearl says gently. “no buts.”
“we shouldn’t have excluded you.” impulse says. “of course it wasn’t your fault, scar.”
“I- but-“
“you know we love you, right dude?” mumbo says. “even if it was your fault-“
“-which it isn’t-“ pearl interjects.
“we wouldn’t stop being your friends.” mumbo says.
“i’m so sorry, scar, that we made you feel like this.” grian says, so earnestly it takes scar aback. “you didn’t deserve any of this.”
scar’s brain is struggling to catch up. “but- but how, i-“ selfish.
“scar, what do you think you did for us to leave you?” grian asks, sitting back and wiping his eyes.
“I- well, i’m not sure, but of course that’s worse!” scar protests.
“worse?” mumbo frowns in question.
“I must have hurt you in some way, and if i don’t even know how-“
“oh, sweetheart.” scar has never seen anyone look as guilty as grian does now. “no, void no. we- I left you, you had nothing to do with it. i promise you.”
“then-“ scar’s voice cracks, and he’s crying again. “then why?”
grian takes scar’s hands in his. “I, for me, I.” his eyes glaze over, and scar starts to apologise but grian puts a hand over scar’s mouth. “don’t. not your fault.”
he takes a breath and starts again. “it- i was scared that every time i’d see you, i..” grian squeezes his eyes shut. “i’d be back in- in that cactus ring. or that i’d have to-“ he can’t finish.
grian opens his eyes. “and that is- it’s in no way an excuse, and it’s my problem to deal with and not yours.”
“grian, I-“
“scar if you apologise one more time, i’m going to tape your mouth shut.” grian says, managing the barest smile. “and I promise you, i’ll never do it again.”
“we would never have done it if we knew it’d upset you.” impulse tells him. “we just thought, y’know, that’s the game. we were wrong.”
“we’re so sorry, mate.” scar thinks that’s the first time he’s ever heard someone say ‘mate’ so mournfully.
“we do have a proposition,” pearl says, not quite cautiously; gently. and oh isn’t that a welcome tone. “if you would be okay with it, we were thinking sleepover?”
“we didn’t want to leave you alone.” grian says. “the sleepover part was mumbo’s idea.”
his chest is filled with an almost desperate want. he doesn’t deserve it, they should hate him, why don’t they hate him?
scar looks at the four of them—who do love him, they absolutely do—with so much emotion bubbling up that he reckons he could burst. he swallows, almost crying again but now for an entirely different reason.
selfish, his mind whispers. 
shut up, he tells it.
“i’d- i’d like that.” his voice is almost a whisper, but for the first time in a long time, he’s smiling.
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blood-injections · 8 months
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ooh tell me about amputee Ghoul whump (I was considering doing an amputee Kobra fic actually but I'm not sure how to write that so I'd be interested to hear your thoughts)
It's just a one shot about him having a prosthetic leg and having to accept help when soreness he's been ignoring all day catches up to him during a firefight and he can't walk back to the trans am and he's fucking frustrated because he feels like a liability, a cripple, and the others have to keep putting in his head that jeez no, just because you need help or mobility aids doesn't mean you're a liability to us >:(
Basically it's yet another fic in which I project on fun ghoul and put him in Situations, specifically ones I've been in lmao cause I'm an amputee myself. Anyway so ask me anytime if you're unsure how to write Kobra or any other character, it depends on the amputation, like I have a prosthetic leg so thats what I gave Ghoul, and I'm not really sure what specific things someone with say a missing arm would go through, but if they have a prosthetic, I'd imagine a lot of the same chronic pain and soreness, because your skin tends to get irritated easily in a socket, and if you sweat in it especially, the stump or wherever it rubs against you gets really raw really easily, rashes or blisters, hot spots, and when its like that it fucking hurts, I've had it bad a couple times and could hardly put any weight on my leg because every step just feels like you're getting stabbed or like a shock is shooting up your leg though your bones. And yikes, for a killjoy i can only imagine, living in the desert and being on your feet all day and sweating in that heat would be hell. It also depends like what kind of prosthetic, like if it's an actual one with a socket, they'd deal with that, but its danger days so what if they had a cybernetic one without a socket? They wouldn't have those hot spots but I imagine they'd be crazy sore wherever skin and metal connects, idk why but something tells me it'd be crazy itchy? Like, just past where it cybernetic part starts, a scratch you can never itch. And they could have phantom limb pain too if the character has lost the limb and didn't always have it like that. i dont know what thats like because i was born with my disability, but I'd imagine it's like dysphoria if anything, something aching thats not there, and then also wanting something or in this case, wanting something back so bad its agony, because if they lost their limb I'm sure they'd grieve it bad for a bit, maybe even forever, I know a lot of people that lose limbs struggle to accept that yeah, you're disabled now.
There's so may other things I could go into like parts breaking and how difficult it'd probably be to fix or replace them in the zones and mobility aid specifics and ohh the dehabilitating back pain you have if your prosthetic leg isnt the perfect length and your hips arent level, etc etc, if you do write the amputee kobra fic and need anything else im your guy :)
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whinlatter · 1 year
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Please can you tell us more about your thoughts on the imagery of Dobby's death?
Partly it’s that I think Dobby’s death was worth it for the scenes of Harry at Shell Cottage, digging that grave by hand in that bleak beautiful garden at the end of the earth, honestly. Those are some of my favourite passages and some of the most beautiful writing in the entire series. Because also like, the foreshadowing. Both before he’s freed from the obligations to wizards imposed by his enslavement, and after, Dobby chooses a brave, righteous course of action that ends in self-sacrifice. Harry buries him, grieves him, writes that epitaph - Here lies Dobby, a free elf - and then, in the hours after, sets in motion a path that will, on some level, mirror Dobby’s. With his own free will, Harry picks the horcruxes, not the Hallows: Harry Potter, the Chosen One who actually chooses to be the Chosen One, over and over again, not because he has to, but because he believes it’s right to, and also who will make the ultimate sacrifice. Like damn yes sorry Dobby you had to die that arc is 💥 too good 💥
(I actually am sat on a meta about Harry after Dobby’s death at Shell Cottage lmao - obviously it’s kind of Hinny-focussed because, you know, the hyper fixation with Harry and Ginny is really hyper fixating these days, but kind of about Harry’s grief in the arc of the DH plot… Maybe I will post it? It’s a mess I’ll tell you. I just really love those Shell Cottage chapters, man, cannot get enough)
Thank you for asking friend! ❤️
Update: posted the meta!
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lucenare · 10 months
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After too much time, I am finally presenting the collaborative Caspian playlist! On spotify and youtube. Two of the songs are only on the youtube playlist because they aren't on spotify.
Notes from suggestions under the cut!
Since I Saw Vienna 
Suggested by @ghostyjpg
“This song is an almost spot-on telling of Caspian's story pre-prison/post-LoTW's death. It's one of the first songs that comes to mind when I think of him as a character. If Caspian were ever a main character in a coming-of-age movie that started with him leaving the village where she was buried and a montage of him travelling, this is what I picture would be playing.”
Ghost Boy 
Suggested by @lucenare
“The only song I knew would be on this playlist when I decided to do one for Caspian. This song can be interpreted two ways. The first is the song’s intention, which is about transitioning and leaving home as someone new. The second is interpreting “her” as a separate person from the singer, in this case LoTW, and grieving a loss that feels incomplete because the memories and reminders are everywhere.”
The Road to Nowhere 
Suggested by @lucenare
“To me, this song is about the struggle of Caspian watching Rae struggle to piece together the war and the resets. Knowing you’re missing so much fear and destruction, not knowing if you’ll ever know the truth for real as you face the fact that someone you love has become burdened by the desire to fix everything”
When the Day Met the Night 
Suggested by @ghostyjpg
“Caspian as a young adventurer, probably a couple years after he initially left home, but never finding someone to call a friend. "Her eyes saved his life, in the middle of summer." Being when Caspian and LoTW first met. This is the story of their friendship. *ALTERNATIVELY:* Ghae in some capacity, either one of them being the Sun or Moon. "He was just hanging around, then he fell in love." Neither of them expected to fall in love with each other, despite the hardships they were facing with Ominous Bane at the time. “
Go the Distance
Suggested by @wise-girl13
“Our lost one traveler searching for a home”
Good Old-Fashioned Loverboy 
Suggested by @wise-girl13
“Ghaae can I say anymore “
Juliet 
Suggested by @sage-is-in-fact-very-tired
“I don't actually know why, but it just kinda *feels* Caspian- “
If My Heart Was a House 
Suggested by @ghostyjpg
“Caspian and Rae's first dance song if they ever got married in lore maybe? DMCA be damned lmao. Also a song that I strongly associate with them in general. Caspian not having a place to call home since he was a child, and then not again until LoTW, and after her death finally having someone be home when Rae became said home. "If my heart was a compass, you'd be north." The only compass Caspian actively makes sure he has either near or on him is the one that Rae gave him that points to his lodestone necklace. “
Lego House 
Suggested by @wise-girl13
“Caspian talking to Rae and Aax letting them know that he's going to be there throughout everything.”
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tabithatwo · 1 year
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I’m gonna have more thoughts on this when I rewatch and it isn’t late at night but I’m really like wow that episode was NOT IT for me and that’s the first time I’ve felt like that about Yellowjackets and it’s a scary feeling!!
like why have we established shauna as being so possessive over Jackie for 11 episodes just for her to cave immediately, why was the MAKEUP of all things the trigger like I know Tai wanted to be done with the Jackie Barbie and she was stressed by her own sleepwalking so she lashed out but the dramatic point and yell and SHAME her and everyone panics about makeup??? MAKEUP?? She’s been out there all day and half the night for months, did we think she was sitting quietly in a corner?? The line about “for the baby” fucking bizarre to me??
the focus on the MEN suddenly like so man heavy!! The long fucking spirit threesome I need to rewatch but like idk idk.
The 96 and 21 plot lines felt super disjointed to me especially for shauna. I’ve just never ended an episode and felt like…what the fuck was that.
The reverting to “you did it to BE me” I can’t even get started on, literally THE line I was dreading happening the most, the gay they planted so heavily being YANKED back, after promos and scenes in 201 very intentionally setting up a moment of either solidification or at least postponement. Like truly that line is what I feared the most but hopefully the show proves me wrong and doesn’t do this shit indefinitely.
I did love adult lottie like that’s my comedic relief amazing ass rich bitch I love her crazy, snarky ass. And I thought Ben was gonna shoot himself at the end there fr fr lol like the kids are NOT alright. Also, 2 month old corpse?? Like I see rabies girl coming soon bc that cannot be good.
I’m hoping and PRAYING I rewatch tomorrow and have a new take and see the light but I was distracted from even really grieving Jackie which I assumed I’d be doing a LOT of by just a sense of…what the fuck is going on here.
Maybe no one needs my long winded decompression BUT *I* needed it and if you’re also feeling a sense of wtf you’re not alone lmao and if you loved it I am so happy for you I’m not coming for you enjoyment of it I’m just…processing a meh feeling about a show that has never made me feel meh before!
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