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space-station-collective · 9 months

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Howdy! I saw your "ask a system" post and I personally have been wondering if I am a system. Do you have any advice you can share for someone trying to figure this out on their own, or any personal experiences with learning and discovering systemhood you're comfy sharing? I currently don't have any way to get tested or diagnosed but I still want to be able to understand what's going on in my brain. Thank you!

hey hi! thank you for your ask! :D

so this one im gonna try my Best to answer but im not sure how well it will help, also keep in mind this is just my& experience and there may be other things that work for you!

first things first, keep in mind that these things take time! i found out about the system im a part of really really quickly and honestly it caused a lot of problems because of how quickly it was. it usually takes time to figure it out and develop healthy communication among the system members, and generally know what is going on

^ that was written by the host (who was so unbelievably tired), I'm taking over now, but didn't want to delete what he said! (Grian) (long post ahead!)

I'm gonna start with some resources/advice, and move to more personal experiences at the end!

the difficulty with determining if you're a part of a system, while already knowing about systems, is that it can be very difficult to know if the words actually describe you, or if it's just the closest thing. I know this is probably the worst to hear, but a lot of it honestly is a load of self reflection and determining what labels feel comfortable for you! at its base, plurality is a very wide label, and the way it applies to one person may be completely different to how it may apply to another!

the next thing is so much research. we were lucky to already have a very good base of knowledge due to a research hyperfixation a couple years back, which made things much easier on us, but there was still a lot we had to look into before really understanding what was happening

this website looks like it has a lot of good information! it has a section specifically dedicated to "Am I Plural?" which links to several other resources, as well. I don't fully have the energy to read through the entire site, but from what I saw it has good info, and I've seen other accounts link to it, so I'm inclined to trust it!

okay, now for personal experiences

I'm actually the main reason we found out about our system! or at the very least, how we found out when we did. I could probably make a post on that at some point, if there's interest in it, but to put it short, we had been suspecting plurality for a while and then I actually switched in, and now here we are!

honestly, my main advice is just keep doing research, and try not to doubt yourself. whatever might be happening, be it plurality or something else entirely, it's still your experience, and it's valid! also, a mistake our host made is trying really very hard to push down the system and ignore it. what actually happened was.. very damaging. please don't try and push away what's going on, I promise you it'll make it a lot easier if you lean into trying to understand it

I wish you the very best of luck! I hope this post actually made sense, our writing tends to be a bit all over the place sometimes. I hope this was able to offer some guidance!

-the host (he/they) and Grian (he/him/they)

#plurality #system #spacestationcollective #sysblr #plural #plural system #plural community #osddid #dissociative system #ask #host.html #grian.html

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atreewithin · 7 years

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I think I got your point about this days. Straight characters don't deserve days. Thanks for making me feel very good with being straight... :l Have a good day!

Uh, what?? First of all, I’m not some bitch that “hates straight people” if that’s what you’re saying. Also I hate to be like this but it’s very guilt-trippy to say you “feel bad about being straight” because of me. You honestly shouldn’t, your sexuality is as valid as mine, but you’re kind of really privileged sexuality-wise.Like you probably know all this but being homosexual, I’m at risk of being hung, stoned, put in concentration camps (yeah theyre coming back for gay people), etc., and am hated by half/most of the world, even for holding someone’s hand.I know it was not your intent to come off even slightly homophobic, but well, you kind of did.Now we’re past the basics of privilege, let’s talk about representation. Now I can guarantee you there are 74883929 straight people in every form of media. you will never not find someone you can relate to. but us lgbt+ people? yeah, most media has no one for us to relate to. none. zéro. lgbt+ people thinking they’re bad and awful and messed up because we’re not straight is a huge cause of uh, death (yeah) within the society of lgbt+ people. a reason for that? they can’t see themselves. there are no characters that represent us in a good way. luckily that is changing now, but that should have always been a right. cassandra clare’s books are really important to us. she’s one of the first authors that dared to include even one gay character, and the libraries didnt support them, they had red labels stuck across them and were restricted. she was offered 3x the money to write a clace series but denied. I know a lot of us lgbt+ people have thought about the lgbt+ characters in tsc and they’ve helped us, they’ve saved lives. since why would an author include it if it was wrong? Next part: okay so Haline is really under appreciated due to fetishisation of mlm and straight girls (that is a generalisation im not personally attacking you or anything!!1!) can’t find women hot right? that must equal disrespect and no shipping! hm yeah no. if you’ve seen Hetty’s (emmarosales) post on it (which you should definitely read!! its educational), you’ll know all about that. Haline is never talked about. Fics about any wlw get 20 notes or fewer. Fics about mlw or mlm get over 100 notes and more and there are so many of them. Seeing people ignore Haline, a ship that means so much to me and others, is really hurtful. you’re not an ally if you ignore wlw but stan the hell out of mlm. im sorry but its the truth. haline day happened to spread more appreciation of this beautiful ship, in the hopes that we would see more content of them, which did kind of work, (thanks for everyone who is posting it!) but hardly. As a homosexual person, it is hard for me to stand up for myself in this world. The lgbt+ community as a whole is oppressed, and straight people are in the front. Even in every tsc series the main couple is straight, which is understandable considering the time periods, which is why primarily the eldest curses and then the wicked powers (kit and ty) are so important to us. I have loads of posts about these subjects so by searching things like “wlw” “fetishise”/“fetishisation” and “sexuality” on my account you can find them :). The last thing we need is days for characters and ships that are already appreciated. Perhaps you can imagine how it would feel when characters who are usually straight and white have days that are more popular than days that support marginalised and oppressed groups of people. You will get the spotlight again, which isn’t right. there shouldnt be one group of people considered more important than another. Tumblr isn’t representative of the world. Just because we can say this stuff here it doesn’t mean we can in the world. I don’t see how you can feel bad for being straight, it’s like you would want to be another sexuality, but I’ll get to that in a minute. Your voice is held above our (marginalised people, lgbt+ people, poc ((although i am not a poc so ‘our’ is not a term i can use in that matter)), mentally ill people, neuroatypical people, etc.) voices. You can’t help that, that’s not you’re fault. But it does the opposite of helping when you put a straight, white character in the spotlight for a day. You see, tumblr is not the rest of the world, as I stated earlier. On tumblr you don’t get pride festivals shut down or monitored by the police, not protecting the lgbt+ people but in the way that they are dangerous and could pose a threat, or so they can put us in handcuffs for unbelievably stupid reasons. In tumblr you don’t get white supremacist groups with blazing torches chanting the nazi motto, normalised by the government, or in this case the staff. those groups have no police monitoring them. you see lgbt+ people on tumblr and probably think we are supported by the majority of the world, but we are not. most of the world is prejudiced against us. tumblr is not what the real world is like for the oppressed and marginalised.Okay, so now I’ll talk about that other thing. You should never say you feel bad about being straight, as if you would want to be any other sexuality. Yes, I’m proud of my sexuality, as are others of the lgbt+ community, but it is absolutely awful to have the oppression that comes with it. Even small things said against straight people are not intended harmfully, although they aren’t always nice— they don’t compare to the thousands of years of torment we have received. the history against lgbt+ (and poc definitely but since the ask was sexuality-based, so is this) people is too large and horrible for any prejudice against heterosexuals to ever compare. you don’t want that discrimination. I hope you have gotten my point. This essay was definitely way more than just about the ‘days’ but i really wanted to get this across, and I hope that after reading this you will understand how things like 'Julian day’, etc., are bad.Thanks ;)

#wow i hope you see how fucking shit it is now #thanks for that ask!!#much appreciated #yeah i know im a bit 'attacky' but im fuming #asks #lgbt #representation

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ghoststrawberries · 7 years

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I'm ace and idk how to be ok with it. I wanna join my colleges LGBT group but I'm scared. What should I do??? (I don't feel comfortable revealing myself).

I’m a little nervous typing this response tbh, bc i know that the climate on tumblr here in terms of where asexuality belongs in relation to the LGBT community is a bit tumultuous.

I myself figured out i was ace when i was like, around 15. and im 20 now. It really felt kind of incredible, suddenly having a label to put to this weird empty feeling i’d had for a very long time. i had felt like everyone around me understood something about how to be human that i didnt, and it was really great to know what it was, and see posts educating about it, and see it welcomed in the community.

If you want to join that LGBT group, I think you should go for it. It helps feeling like youre a part of a community, It helps to know youre not alone. thats the first step of becoming ok with being something.

The world outside isnt exactly a mirror of tumblr. tumblr’s stance has changed since I was 15 on if asexuals and aromantics belong in the LGBT community. both sides have said and done some pretty cringy things. some pretty insensitive things. some pretty bad excluding things. its hurtful and difficult to see. but the world outside tumblr isnt like that.

I think its important to remember that aces and aros definitely havent experienced the same kind of history of oppression, discrimination, violence, and exclusion from society that lesbians or gay people or bisexuals or trans people have faced. There are a lot of LGBT issues and struggles that ace/aro people just simply dont have a voice in. if you’re aware of that, i think you’ll be okay.

i hope this helps you anon

#ask a ghost #@ everyone let me know if i should tag this as anything #Anonymous

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