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es--arcana · 7 years

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"You could have gotten yourself killed" with Julian and reader~ ;D

Ok i started over 4 times while writing this before settling on this one 😅. So here’s “you could have gotten yoursslf killed.” with Julian.

They had followed. . something out of the palace and around the city. This thing was some kind of apparition in the form of a goat monster, and it was undoubtedly the count. It might not have been the smartest thing to do but they had to follow him. They weren’t sure if they could learn anything but they knew they had to try. If only for a small chance that they might uncover some kind of clue as to how he died.

Finding out what happened, what really happened, was the only hope they had. They couldn’t let any stone go unturned if they wanted to prove Julian innocent. Even after what had happened they were still determined to help him however they could. And if that meant they’d have to confront whatever death had turned the count into then so be it. In theory this was insane in reality however it was complete and utter madness.

So they followed him trough the twists and turns of vesuvia with his horrid whispers in their head. “You never know. Maybe he did do it.” the words were said with such a sick glee they made their stomach turn. “Or maybe he didn’t. Guess that’s you’re job to find out. Right little witch?” the sentence was punctuated with a demented cackle. Nothing they did could quiet his haunting voice so they settled for quickening their pace in hopes of catching up to him.

Deep down they knew he was only taunting them but they didn’t care. There was only so much they could learn from what resources Nadia had provided them and asking questions was tricky. Not only did they have to be careful so they didn’t arouse suspicion but they also had to sort the truth from the lies. As risky as it was talking to Lucio was their best bet at this point. Even if they had to pay some high price they didn’t care because nothing was worse than the thought of what would happen if they failed.

The thought of Julian’s feet dangling with a noose knotted around his broken neck. His eye that they had once seen so full of light and laughter clouded over. That frustratingly charming smile of his permanently wiped from his face. The thought of that scence made their throat feel constricted like they couldn’t breathe properly and their eyes well up with tears. A sick feeling sat itself in their stomach every time this image appeared and they hated it.

So it wasn’t to surprising when, in their haste, their feet slipped out from under them. A rush of panick siezed them remembering the last time they tumbled into the waters below them. They really didn’t want to go another round with the vampire eels. Before their mind could fully process what was happening their wrist was grabbed and they were yanked backwards into something solid.

They took a few moments to collect themselves before looking back, they almost wish they hadn’t. Julian looked at at them with a mixture of confusion and panic. The two of them just stood there just staring at each other neither one uttering a single word. After what felt like hours, but was only a few minuted, he finally spoke up. “Are you completely insane?” he spoke with an incredulous tone.

Before they could respond he began pulling them away from their position at the waters edge abd down a small side street. “What in the world were you thinking?!” their confusion quickly gave way to curiosity and they halt their footsteps. “What are you even doing here?” their words held a suprising ammount of weight. “I caught a glimps of that thing you were following.” he spoke of it venom lacing his voice “What would compel you to do something so needlessly reckless?”.

“I’m doing my job.” they didn’t know why they were becoming so irritated. “Does your “job” include you following some monster around that’s capable of who knows what?“ each syllable was spomen with more disdain than the last. “If it means finding answers then yes.” “And what could you possibly learn from some damn ghost.” they were becoming increasingly frustrated with him questioning them lime this.

“Why do you care how i do things?” “Because you can’t go around risking your neck like that.” those words made something in them snap. “You don’t get a say in what i do!” they hadn’t meant for the words to come out so biting but they couldn’t help it. Somehow managing to wrench their wrist from his grasp they looked at him with eyes that burned. Julian looked back at them his countenance a mixture of so many emotions. There was confusion, hurt, regret, panic, frustration, anger and so much more spread across his face and in his eye.

This entire situation was one big damn mess and they hated it. They understood why he was concerned about them and why he did what he did. Hell they agreed with it from a logical perspective, the important thing was finding the answers he needed. But from an emotional standpoint they were a fucking mess. All they wanted was to help him get his life back and make everything ok. They wanted to find his answers so he could finally move forward and be happy like he deserved.

But they knew that it was so much more complicated than that. They knew that it would take both of them to figure this all out, that they’d both have to put in the work. There were rhings that only Julian could figure out for himself and they knew that. As much as it hurt they knew that they had to let him do some things on his own. But they wished he’d just consent to letting them help him instead if pulling away completely.

“I don’t get a say? You could have gotten yourself killed!” the worry in his voice was obvious. “Do you honestly think I’d be ok with you risking your life like that?!” “Well what else am i supposed to do?!” their voice shook loudly. “What am i supposed to do when you won’t let me help you?” the fight in their voice left as quickly as it came replaced with a quiet sorrow.

They kept tbeir gaze firmly on their feet afraid that the words wouldn’t come if they looked him in the eye. "I’m not saying what you did was wrong. But. .” they take a shaky breath “But i wish you would’ve at least asked what i thought about all of this.”. Julian resisted the strong urge to reach out and kept his hands firmly at his sides with his fists clenched in frustration. He still believed that being to close to them put their life in danger but that didn’t make this any easier.

“And what do you think about all of this?” he asks quietly almost afraid of what they’d say. After a few deep breaths they finally look him in the eye despite the warmth in their own. “I think finding answers is what’s most important right now.” their voice quivered but they didn’t stop. “I understand that there are some things i can’t do. But i want you to at least let me do one thing.” Julian bit down on his lip at the sight in front of him hating that he’d done this.

“What do you want?” words he’d wish he spoken before left his lips with a forced calm. “I want you to let me help you.” his eye widened not expecting this “That’s all i want for now.”. In truth they’d like more but they knew that for the time being this is what was best. It seemed like eternity waiting for him to dpeak but when he did the faintest glimmer of hope shined in his eye.

“You really are a tenacious one aren’t you.” his voice held a bit of the charm that they’d sorely missed. “Maybe it’s time i finally accepted some help.” he held a hand out and offered a sma smile. “Plus you seem bent on helping anyway. Least i could do is make it easier for you.” they reached out and let his gloved hand close around theirs. They smiled as a stray tear streaked down their cheek. This was all they needed for the time being as long as they could help him now that was enough. They were going to help him now and hope that there’d be a chance for more when this was all over.

#the arcana #julian devorak #the arcana fanfic #drabbles #sorry this took so long #i had writer's block #angst #hope you like it #rosethearcanist #mine

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avadakedavrabiatch · 7 years

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Hello everyone,

Wow 2 months of 2017 have already passed! We’re getting closer to the summer. I honestly cannot wait to swap my sweaters for tank tops and t-shirts. Don’t get me wrong I love sweaters but at one point you’ve seen them right? You’ve worn the same sweater over and over all your summer clothes are staring at you like: wear me! Or is it just me? Anyway if you’re subscribed to Noobbellas you probably know that I had this monthly post called Looking back at… I’m going to continue that over here but in a new jacket! c:

This February was not very special. Even though I had a week off, nothing really happened. This is the first month of me using my Bullet Journal and it honestly is something I really like to do! Oh and how could I forget! This was the first month of my new blog!

Favourites

I am not someone who gets a new nail polish or a new mascara every month. Mainly because it takes way too long to finish the nail polish an my mascaras and beside that if I’m keen on one product I usually buy it again… This month I did however get a few favourites!

Lipscrub from the Hema I absolutely love how soft my lips feel after them, besides I have always wanted a lipscrub and this one was only 4 euros! I frequently have dry and broken lips and honestly this is a bit of a solution.

My tubes The amount of messages I got after sending out and snapchat including the text my new tubes is huge. I got these tubes for a photography project and I honestly can’t wait until the weather gets better so that I can go outside and actually start the project!

My picture frames I finally have some shelves on my walls and 2 out 0f 3 are still empty therefore I bought 2 picture frames. I only have forgotten one thing: I already had purple on my frames and I went with an absolutely different color. Oops

My plant pots They’re from my work and they basically were almost thrown away so fortunately I could buy them for 50 cents! I love the color but once again forgot about the purple on my shelves.. I’ll figure it out haha!

Bellona chocolade Okay I have always been addicted to Kinder Bueno’s. Unfortunately they are a bit expensive but I have found a replacement. Bellona tastes exactly the same and it it waaay cheaper. I’m sorry for my international readers as I’m not sure if they’re being sold anywhere else. I got them from the ‘Lidl.’

February happenings

Like I’ve said this month wasn’t very special. I finished up this big project and I’m glad that’s over. The highlight of this month actually was a birthday party of a friend because beside that haven’t done anything.

Books read

Openly Straight by Bil Konigsberg 4/5 stars Hersenschimmen by J. Bernlef 3/4 stars

Music on repeat

This month has been good on the music field. There were many songs that have been on repeat however I would like some new music now (Thank you Ed Sheeran for your album release haha!) Here is what I’ve listened to:

How far I’ll go ny Auli’i Cravalho Another Mans Eyes by Andy Jordan Water under the Bridge by Adele Never give up by Sia Raging by Grace Grundy Chained to the Rhytm by Katy Perry

March goals

Yes the goals are continuing as well! There will be a small modification, I will post 5 goals instead of 10. 10 was a little bit too much. I had months were I basically did not had any goal inspirations.

Train No, I will not train insanely hard for the perfect summer body as I never really do that. The only rhing I work on is a tan hehe. However this time I will train, mainly because I have found this small 3 minute exercise. I can miss 3 minutes of my life by training. Beside that I have joined a group for a planking challenge. You know those monthly things. I’m doing this because it is good for your sleep schedule if you actually use all your energy. Not that I have much energy but that has to do with it too probably.

Go outside and take pictures I’ve been wanting to do this so long! Unfortunately the weather was awful whenever I had spare time. I’d like to take my bicycle and just see wherever I end up. With my camera obviously.

Finish the 2nd chapter of my book Which is on Wattpad, but hey it is still a book right? Anyway I’m translating and improving my previous story and I haven’t written in a loooong time.

Study die hard The last exam week (It’s so odd how ‘tentamens’ are translated to ‘exams’ In Dutch ‘examen’ means finals so it confuses me a little bit but these aren’t finals. They’re still important though and it is my last change to get my grades up before entering the actual finals. Beside that I can’t do it over and my grades aren’t that high.

Finish my drawing I have recently started a drawing and this actually is the first time that I’m only using a picture instead of an actual drawing. However it looks horrible, yet I have to continue it. Practise, practise, practise. And perhaps the result will look more okayish. Hopefully.

How was your month and do you have any goals for the upcoming month? Let me know in the comments, I’d love to hear about you!

Love, Sharon

Ronna Talks: February Hello everyone, Wow 2 months of 2017 have already passed! We're getting closer to the summer. I honestly cannot wait to swap my sweaters for tank tops and t-shirts.

#About me #books #favourites #february #goals #lifestyle #march #monthly #music #reality #review

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