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durotoswrites · 3 years

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For the writing meme thingy: 🍄how do you get yourself in the mood to write? 🍑 do you/would you write smut? 📒 any fics planned?

🍄 How do you get yourself in the mood to write?

Getting in the mood to write and actually wanting to sit down and start writing are two very different things, but they're connected, so I'll explain both.

To set into “creative mode” it helps me to do these things:

Listen to music that makes me think of a character/situation in my story/stories. I've got playlists separated by character and pairing. Sometimes I also just work on curating those playlists for fun and get my brain going.

Bounce overall ideas off of my friends and husband/editor (but he's my best friend, too 💗)

Reread old chapters or recent ones and future snippets based on what I want to do.

Once I actually want to put words down, I get a little more strict with myself. I get distracted verrrry easily sometimes and I have to fight the urge to open a million more tabs when researching a small detail.

I move to instrumental music (I have playlists for different moods like “emotional”, “soft”, “sad”, etc. I usually listen to “soft” as a general soothing background sound, as I can get pretty dang emotional when I write, especially with the stuff I've been churning out lately.

So, yeah, I need tissues within reach if I get upset. (Wow, I'm not making this sound fun at all, lmao)

After sound has been established, I like to eat a snack (something with protein) because I can be under for hours, lol. Eat it and finish it. Otherwise, I get distracted.

I also like to have drinks available. I always have a bottle of water, but I also like having a hot cup of tea. I think it's the time of year for me to switch to cold barley tea.

I write while seated on a recliner with my feet up. I have my laptop on a lap desk and it's a pretty cozy setup.

I basically try to remove any excuse I have to get up once I start writing, because I am the worst procrastinator I know.

🍑Do you/would you write smut?

Heheh... heck yeah, I do. Waaaaay more than most people realize. Stuff I've actually posted? It's pretty limited. I posted a couple pieces (Let Me Love You and You're Like the Sunshine) a few years ago, but I've been practicing ever since. One of my planned stories literally has what I refer to as a “smut dump” in the draft where I've been experimenting with writing different moods. I like the intimate scenes to play a role in the overall plot or have it be a bonding experience.

Despite that, I do have a shameless Gray x Mary story I should just get out there that has zero plot, just two cuties in love. In my mind it's so naughty and kinky and I get flustered thinking about it (Mary is hot, okay?), but it's probably hella vanilla, lmao. I really am grateful that people have been really supportive about my writing smut despite what I usually write, and they've been so encouraging, too! I honestly feel like the smut I've posted is really stilted because I was so self-conscious about it. I don't feel like they are terrible for first attempts, but I have definitely grown more comfortable writing it.

Will The Shy Newcomer become explicit? I kinda really want it to, but I might separate the chapters for those who don't care for that content. Overall, I'd like to write more and post more, and I want to write more than just male x female smut as well. I have some of those in my planned pieces (more about them later).

📒 Any Fics Planned?

Firstly, I'm super tickled more than one person was interested in this. I copied the answer I wrote earlier.

Short answer: Yes. I also plan to bring more of my stories over from ffn to Ao3.

Long answer under the cut, heheh. I rambled quite a bit.

Ask me about my writing processes and stories!

I have so many WIPs that haven’t been touched in years that I’d like to finish, so new planned fics aren’t posted yet. Some of them have more adult themes than most of the stuff I’ve been writing, so I get flustered sharing them. I’ve been at a crossroads, as I feel that you can’t have growth without changing things up. On the other hand, I feel like a lot of my readers associate my works with a specific “wholesome” feel-good mood. It’s kinda nice to be known for something, although that might just be my ego talking, thinking that people recognize my work as a “type”.

Regardless, in the end, I feel growth is necessary.

I don’t want to leave a lot of unfinished WIPs waiting because they stress me out and I have too many of them already, so I’d like to have a bulk of my new stories with a good chunk written before I decide to post them.

Among those include:

A longfic featuring Pete’s farm in Forget-Me-Not Valley (A blend of HMDS with the FoMT plugin and AWL). It takes place in the same universe as The Shy Newcomer (Claire in Mineral Town) and there are a few overlapping moments, although Pete’s story starts first. Pete’s personality is verrry different from Claire’s, and his story was kind of supposed to be the yang to TSN’s yin. Pete’s best friends in his story are Ruby (not sure if I’m adding Tim yet), Nami, and Rock. Readers will be treated to a poorly-socialized pre-Mineral Town Cliff (if you think he was bad at the beginning of TSN, well… heh… he’s a wreck here).

Another planned unpublished story is a crossover of Harvest Moon and the movie “In This Corner of the World”, based on a manga of the same name by Fumiyo Kouno. It was written as a gift for a friend. I have the entire outline figured out and have slowly been filling it in. My friend asked for an AU where Claire and Cliff have an arranged marriage and live with his family in Akiyama, the hometown I had created for Cliff in The Shy Newcomer. I took the opportunity to expand the characters in his family. I have it written during the same time period and society as “In This Corner of the World”, but had decided to write a spreading disease as an allegory for war, but then COVID happened and some parts of it just got really hard to write. There are also a lot of sexually explicit content as Claire slowly grows and learns from her spouse that it’s okay to express what she wants despite sex being a taboo issue. If there’s enough interest in the story, I’ll post it, but I worry it’s a little too niche for there to be many people into it.

Pastor Carter and Doctor Trent are one of my favorite rare pair ships. I’ve had a partial draft for a story about them for a few years now, especially focusing on Trent growing up and acknowledging that he has an unhealthy addiction for things that he knows he can’t have. There are some more adult/sexual themes in this piece, too, including the main character lusting after a married woman (who also happens to be his patient) and some lemons. (Does anyone call it that anymore or is it just referred to as “smut” nowadays? Haha) I always feel so bad for neglecting the folks at the clinic in-game and wanted to write a piece that focused more on them, Trent specifically. It’s a multi-chap fic, but I don’t think I’m going to let it get as long as some of my other pieces.

I also really want to write a short romantic oneshot for every marriage candidate in Mineral Town, around 1,000 words each. So far, I have one for Cliff and one for Gray. I want to write Claire with everyone, because I think it would be fun to explore all the different personalities.

I have more installments planned for A Single Day, including a day in the life of the following characters, all with drafts in varying degrees of progress:

Anna

Doug

Nora (yes, I’m writing from the point of view of the cat living at the inn)

More to come – I think Lillia and Thomas would be especially interesting to explore

I do still have that Legend of Zelda Majora’s Mask piece I’ve been pondering where Link befriends the soul of the deku scrub child while possessed by the mask. I don’t have much written about it, but I really love the world of Majora’s Mask. Such a fun game.

I also think about the lead carpenter’s son in Ocarina of Time and that weird side quest involving the blue chicken and the son being lost to the forest. Then that unique-looking kokiri girl explaining that all who get taken in the lost woods become stalfos. Like, did the guy die? Was he sick? Did he want to die? There’s just so much going on there that would be fun to explore.

I also have played OMORI recently and have like… A LOT of feelings about it. I don’t know what I’d write, but I’m still damn impressed at how well the characters are developed in such a short game.

Other games I’ve had vague ideas about writing for include the following:

The Flame in the Flood: I’m thinking a survivalist/action story fleshing out Scout’s backstory a bit more and her thoughts as she’s traveling. I feel like she’s a very lonely person, but isn’t given the chance to really dwell on it.

Night In the Woods: I’d love to write more about Mae’s dreams and what they mean to her. She doesn’t really talk to anyone about them openly, so it’s really hard to tell her feelings about them in some regards. We know that she’s distressed about them, but I’d like to dive a little deeper. Do the nightmares end after the games does? What about Bea’s new nightmares?

Hades (Supergiant Games): I think it would be fun to write more about the events that take place before the game starts, like Zagreus’s duties in the house of Hades, and expand on the strained relationship with his father.

#ask games #writing #jake-marshall

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theaspers · 4 years

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playing favourites | demon brothers

a/n: here’s an unfinished wip that i think i worked on for like thirty minutes a while back but never got around to finishing. i don’t know if the full piece will ever see the light of day tho so have this instead lol

who is your favourite? you are asked.

you wince.

dread churns at the pit of your stomach. there is no one way to pick. no possible way, no right way, no safe way to answer and not offend anyone. a problem with thousands of solutions that do not seem plausible or makes any sort of sense. a trick question.

all of them treat you so well. each of them, in their own little endearing way, but always like you are something precious. like you are something between gold and a brand new world that they have just discovered and they are unwilling to let go. like you are an amalgamation of all their hopes and dreams that they are trying to safeguard.

it’s quite the experience to be treated the way you are treated and see how they act with everyone else. to have all seven doting over you is. well. who else could say that, really? who else could say that they’ve gained the favour of the most powerful demons in the devildom? the rush of power that you feel is almost thrilling. intoxicating. addicting.

the question posed is heavy. how could you possibly dare pick just one?

you’ve grown to be lucifer’s soft spot, is what everyone says. you are the person everyone goes to when they want something from him, if only because you’re the only one he listens to. the outcome is a hit or miss but at least he doesn’t outright dismiss you before hearing you out. there are stolen kisses with lucifer, tiny moments like the little gasps he lets out whenever you reciprocate with vigour, tender touches like the two of you are star-crossed lovers who have been far too starved off of each other. that wouldn’t be too much of a lie, you think.

there’s an amused look on his face though he feigns disinterest, an upward curl to his lip that kind of makes you think he likes that you feel troubled by the question, likes seeing you squirm in place.

and mammon, so eager when it came to you. even though harsh words veil his emotions, the veil is like gossamer at best. always by your side, like he is a part of you, a part you’ve found would’ve been difficult to survive the devildom without. the one you turn to for gentle understanding. with mammon, there are the most tender of moments between his loud and brash proclamations. a possessive hand around your shoulder because you are his first. a glare over his shoulder at anyone who dared to touch you. gentle kisses, slow and languid, even if they start out rough in his eagerness to stake his claim.

of course, it’s me, manmon boasts. chest puffed, confidence rolling off of him in overwhelming waves. but there’s also something like hesitance in his eyes from the way it flitters and darts over to you and then back to everyone else. like he is uncertain of the position he holds in your life, like somehow maybe he thinks you would rebuff him as if you hadn’t been receptive to all his affections in all the moments before this.

and levi. sweet, sweet levi who flushes at the slightest of touches. there is not one part of him that dislikes your indulgence for him though, a hunger lurking underneath the facade he puts on. a deep craving that only you can satiate. always anxious - to please and be pleased - but easily reassured.

#cheeky REPOST to fix tags 👀#satan asmo beel and belphie's parts are MIA will they ever be found who knows #levi's is also incomplete lmao #obey me #obey me swd #obey me imagines #obey me x reader #obey me! shall we date?

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calpalirwin · 4 years

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Adrenaline

Summary: Ashton didn’t know it was possible for someone to breathe new life into the broken parts of him he long believed were dead and buried. He didn’t know you were possible.

A/N: Hitting a wall again with my WIPs, so time to find inspiration elsewhere for other ideas. This beauty courtesy of Tyler Rich’s new album, and specifically the song Adrenaline (hence the title and main storyline) and a smidge of Still Love You.

Word Count: 2.1k

And away, and away we go!

I was faintly aware of the sound of my front door opening and the sound of feet running up the stairs. But much like the call of “Ash,” that accompanied Calum barging into my bedroom, it was all muddled like I was submerged under water. And given constantly feeling like I was drowning, I supposed that made sense in some fucked up poetic way.

More barely registered movement: curtains pushed open, and a frustrated “Jesus, mate…” as sunlight hit my square on my face.

“Fuck!” I hissed, screwing my eyes shut, but still seeing splotches of light behind my eyelids as I rolled over, burying my head in my pillow. “Are you tryin’ to make me blind?!”

“No, I’m tryin’ to figure out where the fuck my friend is. You haven’t seen him, have you?”

“Oh, piss off!” I grumbled. “It’s been like 3 days, fuckin’ relax…”

“3 days? Try 3 months.”

“Months?” I rolled back over, squinting over at Calum, the sun still far too fucking bright. “Can you put a dimmer on that, or something?”

“A dimmer switch on the sun? Really?” was the scoff before the lamp on my nightstand flicked on and he shut the blinds. “Is that better, Your Highness?”

“Fuck you…” I groaned, hoisting myself to lean against the headboard. “Months?”

“Yeah. We’ve been taking turns checking in on you.”

“And you chose this particular time to piss me off? To what do I owe the occasion?”

“Am I pissing you off, or are you pissing yourself off? Have you seen the state of this place recently? Or the bottom of all these bottles making everything a lil blurry?”

I held up 2 fingers, a dull ache starting to spread across my head. “Things are going… mmm… swimmingly.” I did my best to flash him a smile, but all it did was somehow worsen the pain beating on the inside of my skull. “Mmm good mate… Honestly.”

Calum rolled his eyes, not convinced of my Oscar-worthy performance. “Look, we’ve been trying to let this shit run its course. Waiting for you to bounce back on your own. But, call me impatient. You got 5 seconds to start dragging your rank ass towards that shower before I carry you there myself.”

“Impatient,” I teased, swinging my legs over the edge of my bed. I braced my hands on either side of me before pushing off.

The floor of my room came rushing towards me, before someone caught me. “Fuckin’ hell, Ash!” Calum swore.

Cold water hit my face, making me gasp in shock, recoiling away from the stream. “My clothes…” I mumbled, my hands pulling my tank top away from my chest with a wet suction.

“Are fine,” Calum told me.

“Sss cold,” I shivered, my teeth clacking together.

“Good. It’ll sober you up. Don’t forget to scrub behind your ears!”

The more that water rained down on my face, the more the ringing in my ears subsided. I peeled off my tank top, the soaked fabric slapping against the floor of the tub, followed quickly by my boxers. I nudged them out of the way with my toe before adjusting the water temperature to something a little less bone-chilling.

The grime and filth washed down the drain with my shampoo and soap, my body returning to its normal smell, rather than the dusty brewery it had become.

With a towel wrapped tightly around my waist, I exited the bathroom in search of clean clothes, feeling like my body had come up to the surface but my ears were still fully submerged. The jury was still out on which was more preferable: drowning or floating.

My bed had been stripped, and Calum was throwing empty bottles of liquor in a trash bag. “Jesus... I was gone that long?” I asked, worry starting to churn my stomach into knots.

Calum stilled at my voice, straightening up and turning to look at me, a sad look on his face. “Yeah. What the hell happened, Ash? She cheated, and then lied to you about it. If anyone should be torn up about this, it’s her. If anyone deserves the 3 month long bender, it’s her.”

I let out a huff of air, rifling through the fog for the memory. “We had 2 years before that started happening though,” I defended. “2 good years. And then…” I mimed a bomb going off.

“Boom…” Calum said sullenly.

“Boom,” I agreed, one of my hands going to ruffle through the hair on the back of my head. “Just having a hard time separating the good from the bad, I guess. Didn’t mean to be gone so long.”

“S’alright,” he answered, before waving what appeared to be the last of the bottles in his hand at me. “You got anymore in the house? Full or otherwise?”

I shrugged. “I’ll help you look, and clean up.”

He held up a hand, stopping me as I stepped to leave the room to search the rest of the house. “Get dressed first. I mean, yeah, it’s your house, and I’ve seen your junk plenty of times, but I’d rather not.”

I blushed, gripping the edge of the towel still wrapped around my waist, ducking quickly into my closet. “Thanks, Cal.”

“Anytime, mate.”

“Nah,” I said, stepping into a pair of boxers and then jeans. “I mean…” I grabbed one of my shirts from a hanger, thrusting my arms through the sleeves, fingers fumbling to do up the buttons.

“Yeah, I know what you mean,” Calum cut me off, not waiting for me to find the right words to address my gratitude. “And I meant what I said back. Now c’mon, help me clean up your mess. Or start dishing out the cash for a maid. God knows you’re loaded.”

~~~

“Shit, my bad,” I apologized as a body jostled into mine.

“Ash?” the person asked in surprise.

My entire body froze. “Hey, Lex…” I said, looking down at my ex-girlfriend.

“Hey… How’re things going?”

“They’re going,” I chuckled dryly, my ears roaring, my head sinking deeper and deeper.

She flashed a smile. “That’s good. It’s… uh, nice running into you. I miss you.”

I rolled my eyes, shaking my head. “Yeah right.”

“I mean it,” Lexie insisted. “C’mon… we were good together, weren’t we? Don’t you miss me back? Even a little?”

“I-” I started but a hand found my shoulder.

“Was just getting ready to leave. Right, Ash?” Calum urged, jerking his head in the direction of the exit.

“Uh… yeah. Yeah, we were just leaving…”

“Oh… Well, it was nice to see you again, Ash. Cal…”

“Lex,” Calum nodded curtly at her, his voice hard as stone.

I glanced over my shoulder at Lexie as I followed Calum out. She gave a wiggle of her fingers in a goodbye, before dancing up close with some other guy, his hands roaming her body possessively. I clenched my fists.

“Not worth it,” Calum warned low.

“How can I still feel anything akin to love to a girl I don’t even like?” I wondered aloud as we started walking the streets. “It makes no fuckin’ sense. She lied to me. Letting go should be easy.”

“And that’s exactly why I don’t bother with dating,” Calum told me, lighting a cigarette.

“Maybe you should. People are starting to talk about why you aren’t miserable like the rest of us.”

“Ask me if I give a fuck,” he scoffed.

I laughed with him. “I’m serious, Cal. Pretty sure you could come out tomorrow saying any goddamn thing you want. You’re gay. You have a secret family. Anything. And everyone would be like ‘yeah, that checks out.’ Even me, and the rest of the guys.”

“Gay and I have a secret family,” Calum continued with the joke. “There’s power in being mysterious, Ash. I’m telling ya. It’s great. You should try it sometime.”

“Yeah, maybe…” I leaned down to grab a rock off the sidewalk, chucking it at the side of a building. It ricocheted off before clattering to the ground.

“Oh, we’re throwing rocks now?” Calum asked in amusement.

I shrugged. “I dunno. Felt good, though.” I picked up another pebble, cocking my arm back to toss it, throwing it harder than I meant to when I caught sight of the street signs indicating where we were. It clanged loudly off a dumpster, the roar in my ears growing.

“Jesus, dude,” Calum winced.

I braced my hands on my knees, doubling over and breathing hard, breaking into a cold sweat like I’d just run a marathon. Mentally speaking, I supposed I had.

“Ash? Ashton!” Calum shook me.

“What? Sorry…” I shook my head to clear it.

“You alright?”

“Nope.” I popped the “p” and threw another rock. “I can’t get her out of my head. She’s everywhere. All the time! Even here!” I pointed angrily up at the street signs, wanting to throw my fist into the dumpster but I settled for throwing another rock, the ringing matching the sound that blared in my head.

“I don’t know who the fuck ‘she’ is, but you wanna not take out your feelings for her on my dumpster?” someone demanded.

I whirled to find a woman propped against a service door, hands on her hips, hair pulled back in a ponytail, and a green work apron covering up a black polo tucked into black slacks.

“Sorry,” Calum apologized. “We’ll uh… I’ll take my friend somewhere else.”

“Yeah, you do that.” She rolled her eyes dramatically. “Maybe try the beach.”

“You offering to come with?” I asked.

Her laugh was both harsh and light. “Go with your friend, drunk boy.”

“Not a boy for 1. Stone cold sober for 2.”

“Funny. I don’t remember asking. Or giving a shit.”

“Geez… who hurt you?” I laughed, beginning to enjoy her fuck-all attitude.

“Could ask you the same thing,” she countered.

“Doesn’t matter.”

“Yeah, tell that to my dumpster.”

I walked over to pat the green metal container. “Doesn’t matter,” I crooned to it dramatically before flashing her a grin.

The corners of her lips quivered upwards in a reluctant smile, while Calum sighed loudly, grabbing at my arm. “Stop bothering her with your bullshit, mate. She ain’t biting.”

“She’s smiling, so I’m halfway there. If you think I’m funny now, you should see me when I’m not throwing rocks at a dumpster.”

“Well, here…” she reached into the pocket of her apron, pulling out a napkin and a Sharpie. She turned to use the door as a flat surface to scrawl her number across the napkin on. “Call me when you’re sober, and we’ll see how funny you are then.”

“Oh, c’mon!” Calum groaned.

She paused, the napkin inches from my fingers, looking over at Calum. “Should I not?”

“What do I look like, his babysitter?”

She laughed. “No. But you are his friend. Or so I assume. He usually like this?”

“Sometimes yeah,” Calum admittedly truthfully. “Good sort though.”

Her smile was dangerous and devastating as she handed me the napkin. “This really your number, or are you just fucking with me?”

“Call it, and find out.”

I pulled out my phone, dialing the number and hitting the call button. A phone started buzzing inside her apron pocket. “I wonder who that could be,” she wondered in faux-innocence, answering it. “Hello?” she asked, sweetly, her greeting reverberating out of the speaker of my phone.

“I’m sober.”

~~~

“That’s rough,” she commented softly as we watched the waves crash and break along the shoreline, the sky starting to pinken along the horizon.

I shrugged, my hand finding hers in the sand. “I’m sure I’ll find the reason why it didn’t work out one of these days. Maybe it’s right under my nose.”

“Maybe,” she agreed, tilting her head up towards the sky and taking a deep inhale. “You ever think we’re meant to meet certain people?”

“Like those people you meet and feel instantly connected to?”

“Yeah. Almost like soulmates. Like across all the different lifetimes there are, and all the different possibilities, you’ll always find each other.”

“Yeah. Do you?”

“Sure would explain why I’ve been sitting here all night with someone I barely know,” she laughed softly.

“Ah, c’mon,” I teased. “You know me. We’ve been talking all night.”

“But do you know me?” she challenged.

“I’d like to.” I swallowed and glanced down at her. “Is it too forward if I kiss you right now, or should I wait until we watch tomorrow’s sunrise?”

“Kiss me, and find out.”

When my lips collided with hers, the only roaring was that of the ocean.

Tag List

@frontmanash @goeatsomelife @flameraine @creator-appreciator @cxddlyash @1-irwin-94 @sparkling-calm @tea4sykes @youngblood199456 @5-seconds-of-obsession @gosh-im-short @aquarius-hood1996 @talkfastromance4 @itjustkindahappenedreally @philthepegacorn @boomerash @miirandaaa @karajaynetoday @myfavfanficsever @stormrider505 @cashtonisruiningmylife @another-lonely-heart

#adrenaline #ashton irwin #ashton irwin fic #5sos #galcal irwin

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theoriginalladya · 4 years

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WIP Wednesday

Since I know there are a few people out there interested, and since the first draft ended up turning out remarkably good for a first draft (or so I think), have a bit of fluffier Caleb Shepard and Kaidan post-war, post adventure (this comes at the end of my planned story for them) after the Reaper War. (last night’s Reaper War angst is still bugging me so I’m feeling generous. Under the cut for length)

This goes with my previous post about them.

~~~

(setting: Western Irish coast)

“Do you ever think we might have missed our calling?” Caleb asks.

Kaidan’s eyebrow arches. Taking a knee, he picks up a stone, bounces it in his hand for a moment then hefts it into the air, throwing it toward the sea. The winds are strong, however, and before Caleb can blink, just a hint of bluish dark energy envelops it, guiding it out to the waves beyond. “What are you thinking?” he counters after a moment. “That we should have become prothean experts like a certain asari friend of ours?”

It’s difficult not to laugh, and Caleb doesn’t even try. “Something like that. Maybe,” he agrees. He stares out to the horizon, nothing but churning waves and water as far as the eye can see. The height of the cliffs offer a bit of drama to the scene. It’s a much better setting than he could ever have hoped for; if only he could find the words.

Kaidan moves up next to him, his eyes as sharp and searching as Caleb’s. “Not English Bay,” he admits with a hint of a smile and a quick grin, “but a beautiful view nonetheless.”

Caleb sighs and nods. Pulling his gaze from the Atlantic, he glances just to their north. These days, the ruins are barely discernible from the cliffs, but he knows they’re there. “Come on, I want to show you something.”

They walk for a while in silence, carefully navigating the craggy landscape. It’s strange to see; there’s barely any sign that the Reapers made it out this far. Finally, they reach the spot. Here, the ruins are a bit more noticeable, but still blend in if you aren’t looking for them. Caleb leans on the cane, thankful for it in these past few minutes. Lifting his right hand, he traces the outline in the air. “See it?”

Kaidan is beside him again. “Yeah,” he breathes, astonishment clear. “Wow. How old is that?”

Caleb shrugs. “Built in the 1400s, so the stories say,” he explains. “To protect us from invasion by the sea.” Silence falls again; Caleb’s thoughts fall to the past.

“Nothing could have stopped the Reapers,” Kaidan says after a moment.

Caleb stirs from his thoughts. “Hmm? Oh, I wasn’t thinking of them, but the Greystones.” Which, he knows, is just as ironic as their background was filled with repelling enemies from the sea as well. Ireland never had the same luck.

The wind gusts in off the sea and toys with his hair, mussing it up and casting it about wildly to tickle along his cheek and forehead. It reminds him of his younger years, too. “Anyway, my point is, despite everything that’s happened – time, war, Reapers – it still lives on, in some shape or form.”

Kaidan gives him a skeptical side-glance. “You’ve been talking to Liara again, haven’t you?”

“What?” With a half laugh, Caleb pushes his hair out of his eyes. “No. I’ve told you before, we Irish are sentimental bastards at best.” A grin turns upward at the right corner of his lips.

Kaidan’s smile matches it. “That you have.”

His eyes drifting back to the ruins, Caleb asks, “You ever wonder about leaving some kind of legacy of your own behind?”

Kaidan is silent for a minute, and it’s enough to drive Caleb to distraction so he hobbles forward a few steps. As he does, he notices something wedged in between some rocks. Crouching carefully, he retrieves it … a flutter in his chest leaving him speechless. Rising once more, he half turns to look over at Kaidan.

“If you’re asking if I’m as determined as Henry Lawson was, the answer is no,” Kaidan finally replies.

“No,” Caleb insists with a grimace, “not like that.” The loss of Miranda at the hands of her father is still surprisingly sharp after all these weeks and months. While they had never been close, she had been a friend, of a sort.

Another gust of wind kicks up, this time leaving Kaidan shivering slightly. “I guess I never really thought about it,” he admits as he walks over to join Caleb. “Ever since Eden Prime, everything’s been focused on the Reapers …”

Their eyes meet, but as usual, Caleb cannot decipher what he sees there. “And now that they’re gone?”

“A lot more possibilities are available.”

Possibilities. Caleb swallows convulsively. Possibilities he can work with, but he needs to be sure … “Look,” he says quietly, his left hand gesturing with the cane as a reminder, “if I’m just going to hold you back –.”

Kaidan moves with a speed Caleb has seen rarely outside of battle, and when he has, it’s been focused on far more pleasanter things. Before Caleb can even catch his breath, Kaidan’s hand wraps around his good wrist and tugs gently, pulling him close. The kiss that follows is fierce, possessive, and leaves Caleb’s belly flipping more wildly than before, if that’s even possible. “You don’t,” he insists when he pulls back a pace; but his hand remains securely around Caleb’s. “Don’t ever think that.”

It takes Caleb a long minute to catch his thoughts and refocus, but the vehemence in the order helps. “Right.” With effort, he pulls his gaze from Kaidan’s – he has to or he isn’t going to be able to go through with this – and stares back at the ruins again. The vaguest hint of pressure around his hand as he draws in a deep breath is the deciding factor. Tucking the cane under his left arm, he uses his now free hand to fish out the small box from his jacket pocket. At the same time, a silent prayer of thanks to his friends who were able to make this happen is sent forth; to Liara whose connections cut through red tape like a hot knife through butter, to Coats whose unending, if teasing, support had him sneaking off on his own a couple of days ago to retrieve them, to Athair whose faith in him never wavered from the moment he helped rescue the small child who wandered into St. Senan’s so many years ago.

When he pulls his hand from the pocket, he looks back over at Kaidan. The chilling bite of metal against the skin of his palm helps provide clarity for the moment; the winds off the Atlantic slow, the sun peeks through fluffy white clouds and shines down upon them, and in Kaidan’s eyes he sees … curiosity. Caleb laughs softly. Always curious. “So,” he starts, then pauses to clear his throat. “So, if you really mean that –.”

“I do.”

The smile widens a fraction. The wind teases at the edges of Kaidan’s hair now, a testament to just how strong it blows in off the coast, and Caleb reaches over to push it out of his eyes. The hint of exasperation in Kaidan’s eyes pulls yet another chuckle out of Caleb. But, as he lowers his hand, his forefinger caressing down Kaidan’s temple to his jaw, he brings it to rest between them, open, palm up. The sun flickers brightly, glancing off the mixture of gold and silver resting there, woven together in a pattern as familiar to Caleb as breathing. In silence, he watches Kaidan’s gaze shift down, notes the surprise that follows … and morphs into shock before darting back to his.

“Is this …?” he chokes, eyes wide and unable to hide anything from Caleb now.

A sudden moment of peace and calm fills Caleb, and the nerves that have plagued him for days now settle. “I’ve told you the story,” he says. “I was thinking, if you are agreeable –.”

“Agreeable?”

The amount of disbelief in Kaidan’s exclamation chases away the last of the lingering concerns. With a twist of his wrist, he moves the rings between his fingers, holding them a bit higher for Kaidan to see. “Friendship,” he murmurs, his eyes locked onto Kaidan’s now. “Loyalty. Love. I’d say that describes us, wouldn’t you?”

Kaidan opens his mouth to speak, but no words come out; all Caleb sees is a few convulsive swallows. Leaning in, he rests his forehead against Kaidan’s. “I didn’t want to say anything until the Reapers were dealt with,” he whispers, eyes closing to hide momentary grief and pain at the loss all that entailed. “But, now that they’re gone, I can’t imagine going back to a life where you aren’t a part of it.”

Kaidan’s free hand slides up Caleb’s back, coming to rest at the back of his head. He shifts just a bit, enough to tilt his head to the side so their lips can meet, and the moment their lips connect, Caleb knows he has his answer. It’s rare he can catch Kaidan off guard to the point of speechlessness, but it seems he’s succeeded; a moment he’ll always remember.

When they break apart, gasping for air as the wind buffers gently around them, Kaidan manages, “How … did you even …?”

Caleb laughs softly, releasing some of the nervous energy. “I’m Commander Fucking Shepard, according to James, remember? I can get anything done.” He concludes with a wink as his lips slide back into a grin.

Kaidan, finally, joins in. “Well, he’s sure got you figured out.”

Taking one of the rings, Caleb holds it between his thumb and forefinger. He eyes Kaidan with a mischievous twinkle in his eyes. “I can’t wear both of these, you know.”

There is still the tiniest tremor in Kaidan’s hand as he lifts his hand. Caleb slides the ring onto his finger; perfect fit. Then he offers the other and the process is repeated. Caleb isn’t unaffected, and by the time they exchange another kiss, he drops the cane back into place and leans heavily upon it.

“So,” Kaidan says after a while, his eyes focused on the ring on his hand, “should I assume if you figured this part out you have something else in mind for what follows?”

Caleb nods. “I don’t want to steal any thunder from your mother,” he explains, “but I thought before we left … something small and private.”

For just a moment, Kaidan stills and stares at Caleb. “That’s why you snuck off to the church the other day, isn’t it?”

One brow arches and Caleb gives his best, Who, me? look which only draws a laugh. “Maybe,” he agrees. “I guess he thought if we aren’t staying here, we might as well have something better to remember my home by.”

Kaidan’s laughter is refreshing. “I’m not likely to forget,” he replies. “With you and the kids, I’ll be the odd one out, remember?”

Caleb reaches over to run his thumb along Kaidan’s stubbled cheek. “You’ll sound like one of us soon enough.”

“God help us all.”

#ladya writes #when the muses attack #mshenko #Caleb Shepard #Kaidan Alenko #post war #mass effect fanfiction #marriage proposal #I'm such a sap when I go fluffy #but dammit they need it!

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sqsupernova · 5 years

Text

Author Post — KizuRai

We sat down with @kizurai to talk about Rain World, their process, and their Supernova adventure!

What inspired your story?

Listen. I was stuck in traffic on my way home from work one day, and it was pouring rain – as it does in Seattle, or anywhere near the northwest – and I thought to myself, “What if- but rain?”

No, but seriously though, I really was stuck in traffic and I wondered what would happen if rain could eat through materials. I would’ve been just stuck there, with nowhere to go and just melted there. Which is, okay, it’s morbid but I mean I wrote a post-apoc, what did you expect?

That and also I took inspiration from this indie game called <i>Rain World</i> (where I got the title if you couldn’t tell) and it… honestly there’s almost zero resemblance but I loved the concept of lizard monsters and the pressure of the rain killing you and having to run shelter to shelter. Like I said, kinda resembles my fic but not really?

Anyway, my fic is not frightening I swear!

How do you form your stories? Do you outline beforehand or write by the seat of your pants? Do you write linearly or out of order?

Outline? hAHA I tried, I honestly did try considering that was one of the requirements for the first draft: to at least have an outline written out (although it's a little more than that, be sure to read the rules lol). So I did write one, but then I threw that right out the window when I started writing because these ridiculous characters just don’t like to stick to script.

What I did do was write a bunch of random blurbs and facts about the world (which I never ended up using) and drew out some concept art and some floor plans, because I'm nothing if not a thorough game developer LOL

I also cannot for the life of me write out of order. If I do I just end up throwing it out even though I like it; I end up not being able to fit it anywhere.

So yes, I write linearly (not by choice) and write at the seat of my non-pants (because I hate wearing pants) and I just sit there, staring at a blank google doc until inspiration hits, or lightning strikes, whichever one comes first, and I just write and force myself to write and I keep writing until the stupid thing is done.

What in your fic are you most proud of?

Um, that it’s done? I’m still surprised I completed something, surprised I even managed 74k of words, like was I possessed?

Serious answer though, I wrote like up to chapter 9 and realized I didn’t add in any relationship stuff and Emma and Regina’s relationship went from 0 to 100 in a chapter. So I had to go back and sprinkle their relationship here and there. I guess that’s probably what I am most proud of, lmao, that I managed to make swanqueen for a swanqueen fic lol

Oh, and also making everyone hate me because of my fic. That is a joy.

Is there anything you'd change now?

Serious talk, which means this part is uninteresting but:

The thing is, we’re always changing, we’re always moving forward in one way or another, our minds are in constant movement. Therefore, whenever I look back on my old stuff I always get caught up in “god, that’s awful, why did I write that?” or “maybe I could’ve done better” and I’m sure I could if I spend the time to do so but why?

It’s done, if I’m really upset about something I should change then I’ll write a new story and do better because we grow with experience and each story writers churn out is like gaining experience points, eventually we’ll level up and maybe gain an extra skill.

The point I’m trying to get at is that, sure, there are plenty things I would love to change – burn the whole thing in a fire if I could (believe me I wanted to a couple of times) – but instead of looking back I’m going to look forward and make something better than the last.

How do you deal with writers' block?

So I follow Emily Andras on twitter and she mentioned something that I took to heart; she said something along the lines of ”writer's block is for amateurs” and I got confused and a little angry at first but let me say, I think I get it. Even though I do get writers block and I’m screaming at my screen hoping for something to happen, I wonder what professional writers do when they’re on a deadline?

I think they power through.

And even if you think what you’re writing is terrible and it might never make it into the final copy, it’s still something, it’s still words on a page and sometimes just writing something might spark something. That’s basically what I did, I kept powering through even though I hated every second of it, but I managed to get it done on time (early actually because I remembered the deadline day wrong, but let’s not talk about that) and it’s done. Period.

Also, deadlines. Those help a lot.

Was this Supernova experience different than your typical writing experience?

As mentioned above I really think the deadlines helped me. I’ve always been kinda the ‘goal-orientated but lazy otherwise’ type so on my own I’m pretty much whatever and I have a billion WIPs but forcing myself to write and do daily sprints really helped. There’s also a bunch of other writers facing the same thing as me so we can all suffer together.

Any advice to other writers who might want to write a longfic, or participate in Supernova next year?

You know what, don’t listen to all the other authors telling you outlines are the key LOL sure, go ahead and write one if that helps you, but really you gotta find the process that works for you. It’s a little bit like education, everyone learns differently, everyone has a different way of doing things.

Oh but, yeah, listen to me on that ‘forcing yourself to write’ thing, you might hate yourself, or you might hate me while doing it – most likely me but whatever – but just get words on a page.

Also, don’t be so anxious about sharing your work. Your fic is not representative of your self-worth. Don’t write because you want validation or have everyone praise you. Write because you enjoy it and get happy if even one person reads your fic and loves it because these things tend to turn out like a popularity contest and a lot of new writers get lost in the crowd (I mean, like 6-8 things will pop out daily so unless you have a following already, people may or may not leave you until a lot later) so

1) Don’t be upset if you don’t receive any comments until a month (or 5) later 2) Be happy you finished something! Look at what you’ve accomplished rather than focus on the extraordinarily high expectations you’ve put on yourself 3) Have fun

That’s it for me on advice. #fluffwriter signing out.

You can read Rain World on AO3, along with KizuRai’s other works! And don’t forget to feed the author!

#swan queen #sqsn spotlights: author post #sqsn spotlights: rain world

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