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#i have a very simple and obvious favourite character type and BOY OH BOY DOES HE DELIVER--
willczek-art · 7 months
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Decided to give Dragon Age another try and the first character I meet COMPLETELY wins me over in a matter of seconds-
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seunqs · 3 years
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[ a long get to know me tag ]
tagged by: losers @woosohn @yeonjuins
what day is your birthday?
27th june! it’ll be on a monday next year
what’s your favourite colour?
blue! a rather specific shade of light sky blue but i also like dark blue! might be misleading because everyone would think beige/black since that’s the aesthetic i like + almost everything i own is black...
what’s your lucky number?
i don’t have one i think but i tend to say 7 if i’m asked?
do you have any pets?
sadly no >:( will get one in the future idc idc
how tall are you?
158cm tiny i wna be abit taller
how many pairs of shoes do you own?
off my head i think 3 pairs...? just 2 black and 1 white that i rotate depending on the outfit i’m wearing
favorite song?
asdjekw i don’t think i have one specific one but recently i’ve been listening to maniac by nct doyoung & haechan!
other honourable mentions: a book of love by ha hyunsang, wide eyed blind by saint raymond, irreplaceable by nct dream, lmly by jackson wang. that’s all i have off my head
favorite movie?
surprisingly i’m not big on movies... but i’ll always answer parent trap when someone asks! why do i sound like i always have prepared answers in my head for various questions... okay that’s bc i do.
what would be your ideal partner?
@june look away i already know you’re gna say this sounds a lot like someone..
shy... is the main characteristics lmao idky it’s not even like i’m outgoing but i tend to find myself liking shy-er boys over the outgoing ones! aaa those with very obvious leadership qualities and quietly cares and looks out for those around them :’) tsundere! i think shy may appear cold sometimes but i’m rly :’) when the shy ones become very affectionate in private or when you get to know them better :’) or shy with strangers but very goofy and silly with their closer social circle heh those that are more cat-like than dog-like, only approaches you when they’re comfy. okay also shy but willing to speak up when necessary! doesn’t let themselves get bullied for being quiet and also pls speak up for me i hate ordering food pls do it for me HAHAHHA also if they’re passionate about something they like/are good at! good listeners too heh doesn’t need to always have the best advice, just if they would sit with me silently and listen to me and give me a hug afterwards :’’’’’) i think i’m on the touchier side too so if they don’t dislike that it’ll be nice! OH someone who’s good at cooking too bc i hate cooking and the kitchen in general.. i’ll do the dishes though HAHAHAH ok that is all there is a certain idol in my head that is the embodiment of my ideal type and i hate him >:(
do you want children?
no... not so much bc i don’t find them cute or i can’t handle them but i think it’s a commitment that scares me! bringing up the child well with the right character and values ajksdbwkje i don’t know if i’m up to that HAHAHAH
have you gotten in trouble with the law?
nope @woosohn @yeonjuins pls be proud of my direct no why are the two of you......... 
bath or shower?
shower! i don’t know if i’ve actually taken a bath before... probably when i was younger HAHAH i think i’ll get bored in the bath and i much rather be relaxing in bed than in the tub
what color socks are you wearing?
barefoot at the moment! the socks i own are mostly solid colour socks / simple cartoon or animal patterns but all ankle socks that can’t be seen with my shoes
favorite type of music?
i listen to pop, r&b and indie! that’s about all and favourite depends on the mood!
how many pillows do you sleep with?
just 1! and a bolster too
what position do you sleep in?
either on my back with hand over my head lmao or turned to either sides while hugging my bolster and face buried into the bolster
what you don’t like when you’re sleeping?
when it’s too hot! canNOT sleep if the weather is too hot. also if i get woken up rudely, by screaming or someone smacking me awake LMAO just tell me nicely to get up and i’ll be out of bed in 10mins pls give me awhile my brain is turning on HAHAHA
what do you have for breakfast?
recently i haven’t woken up early enough for bfast or my family is just about to go out to buy lunch by the time i’m up hahaha but on the days that i’m alive for bfast, iced coffee and any pastry sitting in the fridge! my family is big on pastries like croissants and cakes like banana and carrot cakes! so one of those but the iced coffee is a constant in my first meal of the day
have you ever tried archery?
nope and idt i’ll be good at it tbh....
favorite fruit?
strawberries, apples, peaches! there are some seasonal favs where i rly like them for a period of time and then suddenly not anymore but these 3 are the constants
favorite swear word?
hahahaha i dont think i have a favourite one..... but i say tf a lot and mf for kpop boys who make me more flustered than they should
do you have any scars?
i don’t think so! i have a few stretch marks around my waist and tummy tho 
are you a good liar?
yes... HAHAH i used to get scolded so much for lying as a kid lmfao
what’s your personality type?
isfj-t has probably only dipped to isfp-t once but if not constant isfj!
what’s your favorite type of girl?
HAHAHAH uh.... okay with all kinds i think? except people in general who try too hard
innie or outie?
innie. was this question necessary tho AHHAHAHA
left or right-handed?
right-handed
favorite food?
ramen! but i like lots of food lmfao tiramisu, pork belly, lots of noodles, also lots of rice, beef, cakes, ice cream, i think i’m more salty > sweet!
favorite foreign food?
japanese ramen, korean cuisine!, lasagne
are you clean or messy?
clean
most used phrase?
i think alot of keyboard smashes, lmao, wtf, HAHAHAHHAHA, sigh, i’m tired LOL
how long does it take for you to get ready?
depends! fastest i think i can get out of the house 20mins after i’ve woken up. longest probably an hour where outfit is taking a while and accessories needs to be chosen
do you talk to yourself?
in my head yes.
do you sing to yourself?
not often but i sing out loud for the family to hear LOL in my head very often a song is playing up there
are you a good singer?
nop. i don’t think i’m a BAD singer but wouldn’t classify as good either HAHHAHA
biggest fear?
wow so many things but i think biggest is complete darkness, i need to see and know what is going on around me. i sleep with a night light on heh 
are you a gossip?
with closer friends yes def HAHAH my school culture tends to have lots of tea that my friends and i don’t like to get too involved in but we do talk about the gossips that goes around hahaha have also been in the center of gossip way too often
do you like long or short hair?
long! can’t imagine myself with short hair.. used to have reallllyyy long hair that goes beyond my waist and cried when i cut it to slightly below shoulder length. that’s the shortest i’ll ever go
favourite school subject?
wow nothing i don’t like school lmfao but humanities and language are way more bearable than math and sciences
extrovert or introvert?
introverted
what makes you nervous?
unpredictable situations, being alone in public (contradictory because in private i would strongly prefer to be alone but i don’t enjoy being alone in public i feel judged HAHAHA), also currently waiting on a reply for something and that’s been keeping me anxious the past 2 days :’)
who was your first real crush?
when i was 13/14, tablemate in school that was kinda shy and had very limited social circle but talked to me endlessly in class lmfao he apparently liked me too but we never dated and went to different schools at 16 y/o. we’re still kinda in touch though! we talked quite a fair bit last month just catching up but he’s more of an acquaintance now
how many piercings do you have?
2! just one normal lobe piercing on either ears, don’t think i’ll get anymore
how fast can you run?
back in school i used to be one of the fastest girls in my class LMFAO i could clock 12.5 minutes for a 2.4km run. stamina came from dancing since i had to run laps before dance class 2 times a week. but that is long in the past and now i get tired from climbing more than 4 flights of stairs pls spare me
what color is your hair?
naturally black but dyed brown! my hair has grown quite abit since i dyed it though now its black at the top and brown from above my ears onwards
what color are your eyes?
a very dark brown lmfao almost black
what makes you angry?
irresponsible people. just pushing responsibility to others or avoiding their responsibilities. don’t need you to do a good job with your responsibilities, just don’t make your issues my issues. and if its a shared responsibility like group projects, then do your part to contribute and don’t expect others to cover you
selfish people, in many ways. just being self-centred, not caring about how others feel, doing things for personal gain at the expense of others
speaking in a passive-aggressive/sarcastic manner. i say this even though i’m afraid of confrontation but i much rather someone outright tells me they’re unhappy about something or wants to get a point across. i hate when they talk about it sarcastically or tries to sugar-coat their words to make themselves look less aggressive about their words. tell me straight as it is, if you’re already gonna talk about something bad don’t piss me off with your attitude at the same time
do you like your own name?
rae is nice! has a very nice ring to it and looks pretty!
do you want a boy or a girl as a child?
i don’t.. want one.. but both have their good and bad i can’t decide.. i want a puppy
what are your strengths?
is this an interview question i have had a few interviews over the past weeks i am well-prepared for this HAHAHA
i think i’m pretty resilient! i bounce back from bad times pretty quickly or i psycho myself to see the situation positively. but it is ofc coupled with a lot of complaining to the people around me first
although i hate unpredictable situations and having to quickly adapt to new settings, i think i adapt pretty quickly too. flexible? easy-going? idk what’s the right way to call it but yeah something along those lines. good at it but i still enjoy my stability and calm don’t want to have to quickly adapt to new situations.
what are your weaknesses?
very emotional HAHAH used to be much worse but i often let my emotions rule my head. i think i’ve improved A LOT though i used to be so bad but i think i’m now able to make rational decisions even if im bawling LMFAO
this sounds like a compliment but i’ve been told this too often as well. i tend to be way too nice to people who don’t deserve it. even if the person doesn’t deserve it or they’ve pushed all my buttons in the wrong way possible, i would still try to be as nice and polite as i can. really helps with me working in the f&b industry lmfao.
what’s the colour of your bedspread?
dark blue / grey! 
colour(s) of your room?
white & wood (throughout my house actually + green from the plants in the living room) @yeonjuins says i live in a muji showroom
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For the ask game, a fluffy fox appears! 🌟 - something you want? 🐱 - pets? 🎮- favourite games? 💛 - opinion on Ellie and Scratte from Ice Age?
@nights-flying-fox hello dear fox! Please take a seat. All fluff is welcome to this tribe!! 😜
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🌟- something you want?
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...I want her to be real...(ŏ̥̥̥̥ωŏ̥̥̥̥ )
XD ok but in all seriousness^^''
Something I really want is to travel to many different places! Visit other cultures and explore the nature and the wonders I've beed missing of it! Does that count?? 😅
🐱- Pets?
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Two dogs in fact! The big one's name is "Jack" and the little one "Noah".
Both are really good boys that always make of my life a journey full of surprises and laughs!!^^
🎮- Favourite games?
Uh-oh that's a hard one!
I have played so many games and absolutely each and every single one of them has been a unique experience that it's honestly hard to pick just a few (^▽^;)
I have a mess of a library when it comes to games tastes but I think I can pick the ones I identify with the most! So... Top.5!!
1.The Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess:
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>Link goes Awooo. XD
The addition of wolf link was such a great idea! This was the very first TLoZ game I've played so holds a very special place in my heart for introducing me to such an amazing universe and it's amazing soundtrack^^
Also Midna! That little imp is everything I wish to have as my loyal companion :P
2.Halo Reach:
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>Epic soundtrack with a very emotional story and setting, what else can I ask?
Halo not only was my introduction to FPS genre, the universe of these games is so vast and the story is so deep and complex. Reach however takes a deep dive focusing in the humanity losing and it's fight for survival that makes for a very emotional story which I love! A great prequel for one of the most devastating events in the halo lore. That's what makes this game one of my favorites.
3.Dead Space:
>I know what you are thinking 😅
Why is there a horror survival game in this list! lol;;
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Well, simple! Space and awesome helmets that's why!! XD
I love games with an awesome level of immersion and detail to the surroundings and this game did that and more to the point that honestly!  This game is a true gem in the horror genre 👀
4.Portal 2:
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>Playing with portals was never been so much fun! I love the mistery of these games and how eerie it feels despite its calm nature due to the dark past of the facilities where the events of this game take place! Each character is interesting and has a lot to convey. Plus, the fact that there is a huge connection with Half Life makes for a unique story full of theories and complements that mistery I highly enjoy of this types of games 😋
5.Half Life 2:
Absolute interdimensional chaos... My favorite 😳 XD
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Ok;; I guess it's pretty obvious how much I enjoy games focused on an imminent invasion and mass destruction lol
I love how creative these games get with all these interdimensional creatures invading earth.
Half life mixes everything I love about my previous picks on this list! The mystery, a very intriguing plot, memorable characters and also very remarkable quotes 😋
I can say many more things about these games but this is to summarize!!
Also, Honorable mentions!!:
Crash bandicoot 2, Spider-man ps4, Dark Souls, God of War, Mario Galaxy 1&2, Bioshock Infinite and many many more 😜
💛- Opinions on Ellie and Scratte from Ice Age:
» Scratte:
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Oh man... What CAN'T I say about her (*´▽`*)lol
Despite not being the main course of the movie she was definitely the main attraction for me! X3
She is truly an enigma and one I aspire to piece together 😝
Behind that merciless and sassy attitude I'm sure there is an angel without an aura waiting to been seen and here I am digging for that treasure 😍
She is beautiful imp full of many hidden tricks up her sleeve and I love absolutely everything about her! 🐿🔥💗
»Ellie:
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She is a lovely mother and the voice of reason for both her family and friends! A well hearted friend with a desire to keep her family and friends united that is as big as herself!
She is a great personality and someone I wish to be friends with :D
Thanks for the ask!! And sorry for the long wait;; I really enjoyed this and I can't wait to answer more questions soon! 😉
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garyrennell · 4 years
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FLUFF ALPHABET — GARY RENNELL🧸
hi beautiful people💕 i’m doing the fluff alphabet challenge by @ravena-dottir, in collab with awesome @mrsgaryrennell✨ we really took our time to analyze crane boi’s personality here, to give the most accurate responses posible💖 aaaand this is a long one, as everything i write😂 i hope you like it.
A = Attractive (What do they find attractive about the other?)
physically, he is drawn to a girl’s eyes and smile, as he compliments MC for those in the game. he also is a butt and thigh guy👀 personality wise, he appreciates curiosity, intellectuality and overall kindness.
B = Baby (Do they want a family? Why/Why not?)
absolutely YES. he wants to have children of his own to take care of and to prove himself that he can be the best dad ever, the father he never had. he dreams of taking his little boy to football practice and teach him mechanics💙 you bet he’ll be there for this children whenever they need him and will be extra protective and such a cool dad🥺 and if he finds a girl with the same love and care inside of her, there’s no doubt he’d be eager to start a family asap.
C = Cuddle (How do they cuddle?)
in canon, he’s always giving cuddles or asking for them, so crane boi here is a cuddle fan💖 @mrsgaryrennell and i came to the conclusion that Gary’s love language is mainly physical, because cuddling is his type of intimacy and his way to show affection, rather than words for example. he likes bed cuddles with his girl lying on his chest and his bigs arms around her, especially in the morning. even if his girl is not close, he’ll pull her into a cozy cuddle or simply ask for one✨
D = Dates (What are dates with them like?)
he prefers very casual dates and if he gets to plan it, he’ll put thought into it. for example, he plans a simple picnic date and makes sure he brings good food and takes his girl to a nice place; or a movie date and makes sure to buy popcorn and get really good seats. overall, Gary transforms simple dates into something especial without going over the top💕 during the date, expect a “top quality banter and an absolute gent” lmao, especially the gent part because he’s basically proud of his nan educating him like that.
E = Everything (You are my ____ (e.g. my life, my world…))
he’ll probably turn this phrase into a joke because he doesn’t like being a melt😂 it would ruin his lad image. in joking mode, he’d say something along the lines of “you’re the loaf of my life” while holding a piece of bread lmao, but in a serious occasion he’d say “you’re my happiness” or “you’re my favourite”.
F = Feelings (When did they know they were in love?)
in the game, we think he realized he had fallen for MC while the girls were away in CA. he found himself missing her big time and thinking about her all the goddamn time, wishing she was there with him. also the idea of having a domestic life with MC is what made him sure that she was the one💖
G = Gentle (Are they gentle? If so, how?)
gentle is basically Gary’s middle name lmao, that boi is full of gentleness. he’s gentle when he holds his girl, when he kisses her, in his wording even when he’s not very good at expressing himself with words. everything he does, he makes sure he does it with care and tenderness🙈
H = Hands (How do they like to hold hands?)
as most of his way to show affection is through physical contact, he often reaches for his girl’s hand. Gary is a simple guy, so he doesn’t really care if he’s holding the back of her hand, her palm, if his fingers are intertwined or not— he doesn’t really care as long as their hands are together💕 he’s also the type to caress the back of her hand with his thumb in a soothing manner.
I = Impression (What was their first impression?)
oh boy oh boy, when it comes to first impressions, Gary comes across as handsome, confident, cheeky and flirty, which can result into him looking like a laddy lad type of guy💪🏻 it’s not far fetched lol but in the first impression of him you miss a lot of the depth of his character and personality.
J = Jealousy (Do they get jealous?)
not👏🏻at👏🏻all. he doesn’t mind if a guy approaches his girl and flirts a little, because he likes to see that others appreciate her too. when he would definitely get jealous is when the person hitting on his girl is really bold and obvious. Gary is a “silent jealous”, which means that he will not be confrontational about it but will throw deadly glances, frown and mutter under his breath. he will just stand at one side trying not to look bothered, arms crossed and grumbling to himself lmao. and then, when asked, he’ll deny to death that he’s jealous💀
K = Kiss (How do they kiss? Who initiated the first kiss?)
we all know the guy has experience, so he is definitely an expert kisser. he really enjoys slow kisses and likes to take his time, he doesn’t rush and is also very gentle. basically, he knows what to do, when to do it and how to do it😉 he likes playful and sneaky kisses too, everything that comes along with some cheekiness. in the game, MC always initiates the kisses, so there’s that🤷🏻‍♀️ but it fits his personality more for him to be the one initiating the kisses.
L = Love (Who says ‘I love you’ first?)
him, and it’s canon. Gary is an open book, so as soon as he is sure that he’s in love, he’ll try to let his girl know in the most intimate way posible. he’ll say it in private and will make sure he picks the right moment.
M = Memory (What’s their favourite memory together?)
in the game, the final date, when he asks MC to be his girlfriend. outside of the Villa, definitely the shipyard date, because it’s the first time a girl accepts to go watch the lights of the cranes with him🥺💕
N = Nickel (Do they spoil? Do they buy the person they love everything?)
crane boi doesn’t spoil, less with expensive things🤷🏻‍♀️ but, he will treat his girl with everyday, simple and casual details. she likes a certain type of tea? he will make sure to buy it whenever he can. she likes chocolate? he’ll buy some whenever he goes grocery shopping. maybe will even buy her a flower if he wants to come home with a surprise. in general, he buys small, meaningful things that will come to usage for her.
O = Orange (What colour reminds them of their other half?)
for MC, he reminds her of navy blue and the color red. the first one is partially influenced by his eyes and the second is because of his cozy flannel💕
P = Pet names (What pet names do they use?)
in canon, he uses “love, babe, cutie, darling and poppet” when referring to MC. he also uses “mate” as kind of a pet name too😂 we recently noticed that Gary is all down for melty pet names and even makes them up himself, so he surely will have a personalized and creative nickname for his girl💕
Q = Quaint (What is their favourite non-modern thing?)
he likes old and vintage appliances, especially ones that are broken so he can fix them. @mrsgaryrennell has a cute headcanon in which Gary likes to fix old stuff (e.g radios) for elderly people or for donating them to charity😢💙
R = Rainy Day (What do they like to do on a rainy day?)
Gary loves rainy days, it’s canon. he either is down to go dancing in the rain or to spend it at home, cuddling next to a window with his head lying on his girl’s lap as she plays with his hair💖 and drinking a warm cuppa, of course.
S = Sad (How do they cheer themselves/others up?)
this is a heavy one. we all know Gary’s struggles with mental health, so even after his therapy his first option is going to the gym. he thinks it helps with sadness when it doesn’t, but at least he feels less stressed out afterwards. after that, if he is really down, he’ll go talk to his nan about it🥺 to find comfort and support in her.
when cheering others up, he is all about company and being reassuring. he tries to get people to talk about their feelings because, through therapy, he has learned that it works. when the other person is well enough, he will try to make a joke to lighten the mood✨ as my girl @mrsgaryrennell said: even though he’s a little broken himself, he still tries to make others feel better.
T = Talking (What do they like to talk about?)
cRAnEs🏗 aND hiS nAn👵🏻😂 he’s a Star Wars fan, so he would be very chatty about it, or about science in general. he also likes to share funny stories lol.
U = Unencumbered (What helps them relax?)
again, the gym thing, sadly😔 but apart from that, he likes to fix broken stuff when he is stressed, or build things for other people.
V = Vaunt (What do they like to show off? What are they proud of?)
his killer pecs and huge arms💪🏻😂 crane boi is very proud of who he is, so he mostly shows off his thicc body. we also have this headcanon in where Gary likes to show off his girl, to let the world know how amazing she is. he never shuts up about her💕🙈
W = Wedding (When, how, where do they propose?)
he would propose after a 3-4 year relationship, to make sure the time is right, and wouldn’t do it without talking about the idea of marriage with his girl first. he would propose in a very intimate and private way, just the two of them in a especial place for both💙
X = Xylophone (What’s their song?)
Do I Wanna Know by Arctic Monkeys and Stone by Jaymes Young🎶
Y = You the ___ to my ___ (e.g the cookies to my milk, the macaroni to my cheese)
he’d say “you’re the levers to my crane” lmao or “you’re the safety to my worksite”💀
Z = Zebra (If they wanted a pet, what would they get?)
he wants a big, energetic dog (just like him lol) so probably he would own a fluffy golden retriever🐾
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chickensarentcheap · 4 years
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Sanctuary -Chapter 16
Fandom: Extraction, Tyler Rake
Tagging:  @c-a-v-a-l-r-y, @alievans007, @innerpaperexpertcloud, @valkyrie-of-the-light
If anyone wants to be tagged, please let me know. I know there’s quite a few reading this ;)
Warnings: none really. Maybe some bad language.
“You're a natural,” Esme comments the next morning, as she and Nik lounge on a park bench; Yaz keeping the kids busy and laughing hysterically over his antics on the playground equipment.  
 They've all become restless being cooped up in the house with nothing more to do than count down the hours and minutes before Tyler leaves for Ireland. Opting to head into town for a late breakfast and some window shopping before taking the kids to burn off some of their excess energy. Tyler and Ovi had been gone for better part of the morning and wouldn't return to some time in the early afternoon; time at the shooting range, lunch, and long overdue talk about his expectations for the teenager while he was gone.
 “I've never been told that before,” Nik laughs, as Declan bounces happily on her lap; tiny feet planted on her thighs, hands on her shoulders, her own resting on his hips to help keep him steady. He's a cute little thing: strawberry blond hair (inherited from Tyler's mother), huge, brilliant blue eyes, and quite possibly the most adorable smile and giggle she's ever seen or heard. Out of the four, he'd been the biggest: an impressive nine pounds, ten ounces.  “Normally I'm told how uncomfortable I look.”
 Nik remembers when Tyler had to actually teach her how to hold Millie. Back in nursery in that little apartment in Australia. How nervous she'd been when that impossibly tine baby had been placed in her arms. Never had she held something so fragile. Helpless. Priceless. A little human being that depended solely on her to keep them safe.
 She's perfectly content being 'Auntie Nik'; she can spoil them rotten and love endlessly on them yet hand them back to their parents at the end of the day. With each passing birth, she's gotten more accustomed to the actual nurturing parts. She can feed them. Burp them. Bathe them. Clothe them. And is now able to successfully change a soiled diaper without promptly vomiting.
 “You don't look uncomfortable to me,” Esme says, as she adjusts the snap closure on the back of Declan's baseball cap and then slips it back onto his head. “And he obviously doesn't think so either. Look how happy he is. He adores you.”
 As terrible as it sounds to even to Nik's own ears, Declan is her favourite. He's vibrant and full of life; always smiling or giggling and very rarely crying of fusing. Infinitely curious. Simply loving life and everyone and everything in it. The twins rarely bother with her; they're head strong and wild, whereas she's very strict and routine orientated. Millie is a character all on her own. Five going on fifteen, full of sass and attitude. Never backing down from a challenge and very rarely showing any signs of fear. Very much her father's daughter. Right down to the bad habit of immediately distrusting others and shutting them out.
 “You're a strong little thing,” Nik says to the baby, laughing and wriggling away from the hands that try to latch onto her sunglasses. “You're going to be walking in no time, I think. Those are some powerful legs you've got there! I remember when you were still in your mommy's belly and you would kick her hard enough to make her cry sometimes.”
 “There were a couple times he nearly brought me to my knees,” Esme recalls, shaking her head in disbelief. “Like he would just get all that power into that one kick and just let me have it. If Tyler was lying up against me, it would even wake him up sometimes. All the kicking and the rolling around. You've just never sat still,” she addresses her son, tickling his stomach. “Always on the go! Even then. You never wanted to settle and now look at you. Still going about with your nonsense.”
  “You're going to grow up and be big and strong just like your daddy,” Nik says.  “You'll be able to put your older brothers in their places, that's for sure. And you'll be able to protect your sister from any mean boys in the neighbourhood. Or beat up any boyfriends that don't treat her right.”
 “Boyfriends,” Esme laughs. “Bold of you to assume that Tyler is ever going to let her date.”
 “Is he still bent out of shape over that? He's probably just worried because he remembers what he was like when he was a teenager. He doesn't want her bringing him any boys like him.”
 “I can imagine how my dad would have reacted to me bringing Tyler home. That would not have gone well. I'm the first girl after three boys. He would have taken one look at Tyler and the hair and the tattoos and promptly kicked him out of the house. Trust me, that is not what he wanted for his daughter. Someone with an edge. He would have taken one look at him and that would have been it. I love my dad, but he definitely would not have approved. He would not have even given it a chance to get to know him. My dad had a certain vision for how my life would go. And a guy like Tyler was not part of that vision.”
 “What kind of guy was he hoping for?”
 “None, preferably,” she laughs.  “He wanted the white-collar type. Boring. Simple. Vanilla. And as you already know, there is absolutely nothing vanilla about Tyler. In any aspect of his life. He's a little...”
 “Wild?” Nik offers.
 “Edgy. Dark. Dangerous. Fearless. A mystery. The type my father definitely did not want me to end up. I think once he realized I wasn't going to give in and stay away from him, he would have come around. Even teenage me would have been unable to stay away. I can't explain it. What exactly it is. But I felt it in Dhaka. Maybe I even felt it when I walked into his place in the outback. There was something different about him. Something irresistible, despite your brain and your heart telling you to just walk away. It was impossible. In Dhaka. I couldn't stop it. I didn't want to stop it.”
 Nik completely understands. She'd felt it too; the minute she'd met him a little more than ten years ago. He’d been a challenge. An enigma. And she hadn't been able to stop going to his bed even though she'd known he'd never want her for anything more than that. No matter how many times he told her, no matter how many times he insisted that he'd never want anything more, she'd held out hope. And sometimes she still did.
 She hates how it still makes her feel; the bitterness that eats away at her when she sees them together. It’s been a little more than five years and it is still so hard. To accept the way things are. Even when it’s so blatantly obvious how happy Tyler is. How much he relishes and thrives on being a husband and a father. How it has brought out a light within him; a sense of peace and contentment that had been absent from his life since his son died, and his first marriage disintegrated. And she should be happy about that. That he’s far removed from the Tyler Rake that existed in that little shack in the outback.  That he’d given himself the chance to actually be happy; that he’d let someone break down those walls and show him what it is like to be wanted and loved.  But it’s difficult. He hadn’t wanted that person to be her. And now she had to sit back and watch as his life went on.  A spectator to just how wildly and crazily in love he is with someone else.
 “Have you given it much thought?” Esme asks. “About having your own family?”
 “I have a family. I have Yaz. The team. All of you.”
 “You know what I mean, Nik,” she sips at a takeout cup of piping hot ginger and lemon tea; a rather potent smelling concoction that she swears help calm her stomach and her bad nerves.
 “I’m a much better Auntie than a mother. I’m too selfish. I enjoy what I do too much. I like being able to come and go as I please. Nothing tying me down. No one I have to answer to. That kind of life was never meant for someone like me.”
 “Six years ago, you could have said the same thing about Tyler. That this kind of life wasn’t meant for someone like him.’
 “That’s different. He wasn’t allowing himself to have this life. He hated himself too much. He was a mess and didn’t want to bring anyone else into it.  But he thrives on this kind of existence.  And he needed it. The stability. Someone to come home to. Kids that love and idolize him. Things that give him a purpose. Could imagine where he’d be if you’d never come along? He would have let himself die that day on the bridge. I’m sure of that.”
 “Sometimes it seems like a lifetime ago,” Esme sighs. “And then there’s other days where it seems like it was just yesterday. I’ve made peace with it. I’ve put it behind me. But sometimes…I don’t know…sometimes it just creeps up on me. Something just brings it back to the surface. I try not to let it get to me. But it’s in there. I can feel it.”
 “You’re probably just on edge because he’s leaving,” Nik suggests, as she places the baby down on a blanket that lays spread out at their feet, then accepts the cup of coffee that Esme had been babysitting for her.  “Are you feeling okay? The way you’re drinking that stuff, you’re not…”
 “Oh my god no. There is no bun in this oven. Not yet anyway.  It is definitely just bad nerves. And stress. I am so stressed, Nik. Not just about this. This is just the icing on the proverbial shit cake.”
 “Talk to me. What’s going on? Are things okay with you and Tyler?”
 “For once, it actually has nothing to do with him. I mean, other than the fact he’s leaving in eight hours and I have no idea when he’ll be back. If he’ll be back.”
 The word ‘if’ hangs heavily in the air. It’s always a possibility that things will go to hell. That the job won’t go nearly as easily and seamlessly as hoped. It very rarely does.  And there’s always that possibility that this mission may be the last one.  That one bullet in the chamber with your named etched on it.
 “It’s just stupid stuff,” Esme continues. “It’s Millie and the way she regresses like she does. It’s my parents and the fact my stepdad has been cheating on my mom for years and now they’re not even living in the same house. It’s my brothers and their relationship drama. And my sister.  She’s met this guy and she’s dropped out of college and no one knows where the hell she is. And then there’s the ex husband.”
 Nik arches an eyebrow.
“I guess he’s been friends with my mother all this time. Since things fell apart. And she had the nerve to tell him where I was. Address and all. He showed up at the house, Nik. When I wasn’t even there. He actually spoke to Tyler.”
 Nik smirks. “And he lived to tell about it? Maybe Tyler is starting to slip.”
 “He should have just killed him. No one would miss Mark. Not even his own parents. Well maybe my mother would. How screwed up is that? That she’s stayed friends with him but she hates Tyler? That she holds Mark up on some kind of pedestal but treats Tyler like he belongs in the gutter? It makes no sense.”
 “She has it in her head that he took you away from her,” Nik reasons. “One day you left and never came back. You said you were going on a business trip and then you’re calling to say that you’ve met someone and you’re staying in Australia.”
 “It was nearly six years ago. She needs to get a grip. He’s my husband. Whether she likes it or not. And he’s the father of my kids. Her grandchildren. You’d think that would mean something to her. He’s not a bad guy. You know that, Nik. He’s a big, strong man with an even bigger heart.”
 “With the right people,” Nik stresses. “That’s the important thing here. Only with the people that he allows himself to be that way with.”
 “It’s just so frustrating. That she just can’t give him a chance. Even if it’s just for the sake of her grandchildren.  He went to see her the other day. She called him and asked him if he would drive up. Said they needed to talk,” she rolls her eyes at the last part, sips her tea.
 “About what?”
 “Who knows. Tyler came home and never even brought it up. And I know better than to ask. If there’s one thing I’ve learned in the past five and a bit years, is hat it’s better if you just sit back and let him decide when he wants to talk about things.  You know what he’s like. He likes to keep shit in.”
 “Until he snaps and it all comes out.”
 “Exactly. Which I’ve pointed out many times and you can imagine how well that went. He’s so stubborn! So goddamn stubborn and it drives me absolutely insane.”
 “Well…” she grins, and playfully digs her elbow into her friend’s side. “…now you know how he feels when it comes to dealing with you.”
 “I am nowhere near as bad as him. Nowhere.”
 “I’ll give you that. But you’re both horribly stubborn and you’re both enormous pains in each other’s asses. But it works. In its own way. Neither of you could live without the other. I’m one hundred percent sure of that. And he’s going to be okay,” she reaches out to rub her friend’s shoulder. “He’s going to come home. To you and the kids. I promise you. We’ll make sure of it. And I know you hate me. For putting him in the situations I do…”
 ‘I don’t hate you, Nik. I could never hate you. And you don’t put him in anything. Tyler manages that all on his own.  If anyone is an expert on getting himself caught up in wild and crazy shit, it’s him. I just wish…” her voice trails off, a frown curving her lips as she lays a hand over her eyes to shield them from the sun and peers into the distance. “…what the hell?”
 “What?” Nik turns her attention to what has caught her friend’s eye. TJ wandering away from the playground, towards a stranger waving to him from a cluster of bushes and trees fifty meters away. “Yaz!” she yells at her brother, whose completely oblivious as he busies himself pushing Mille and Tanner on the swing. “What are you doing?! You’re supposed to be watching that one too!”
 “It’s okay,” Esme assures her, and hands her the cup of tea. “Tyler’s fine. He won’t hurt him. He doesn’t hurt kids. Only women.”
 “You know that guy?”
 “Unfortunately,” she sighs, and slips her feet into her flip flops. “That’s my ex husband.”
 ***
  “Tyler James Rake Junior!” Esme bellows, as she stomps across the grass, to where her son is immersed in conversation with Mark. As if they’re long lost friends.  “Just what in the blue hell are you doing?!”
 “We’re talking about football,” her son informs her. As if it’s perfectly natural to be making friends with complete strangers. “But real football. Like daddy likes. Not the stupid NFL.”
 “You do not just go wandering off like that,” she scolds him, dropping to one knee in front of him, hands on his shoulders. “How many has daddy and I talked to you about that? That you stay where we can see you? That you just don’t go off on your own?”
 There are many reasons for their warnings. And their worries. Yes, there’s a lot of unsavoury and sketchy people out there that are just waiting to take advantage of a child. But there’s also the possibility of there being someone out there just waiting to exact revenge. It is a strange way to live: always looking over your shoulder, waiting for the other shoe to drop. But it’s the nature of the beast.
 “He’s fine,” Mark pipes up. “I wasn’t going to hurt him.”
 She ignores him and continues to address her son. “What did daddy tell you? About never taking off like that? About never talking to strangers?”
 His chin falls to his chest, a pout curving his lips. “That I should always be where someone can see me.”
 “You scared me. And Auntie Nik. Don’t go wandering off like that, okay? What if something happened to you? Mommy doesn’t want to lose you. She loves you way too much. Come here…” she draws him into her arms, a hand on the back of his head as he snuggles his face into her shoulder. “…I’m sorry I yelled. I’m sorry I hurt your feelings. But you scared me, Tyler. Please don’t do that again, okay?”
 “Okay,” he agrees with a sniffle, and when he pulls back, she uses gentle fingertips to clear the tears off his cheeks and the sides of his nose.  “I’m sorry, mommy. But it’s not a stranger. He’s my friend.”
 “No. He most certainly is not. He’s not your friend.”
 “But he came to the house and said he knows you and he talked to daddy.”
 “He is not your friend,” she stresses.
 “Everything okay?” a breathless Yaz inquires as he arrives on the scene. “I’m sorry, Esme. I just looked away from him for less than a minute. I was caught up with the other two and I just glanced away and…”
 “Everything’s fine,” she assures him, wiping grass and dirt off her knee as she stands up. “He’s okay. A little too fearless, but okay. Can you take him back?”
 “I want to stay with you,” her son argues, and wraps both arms around one of her legs.
 “Who are you?” Yaz addresses Mark.  No chill. Just straight to the point.
 “I’m Mark,” he steps forward and offers a hand.
 Yaz looks at his hand, then straight in the eye, and then back to the hand again. Giving a derisive snort as he turns to Esme. “Mark, Mark? As in…?”
 “Just take him back to the others,” she says, and pries loose little fingers from around her thigh. “Go with Uncle Yaz,” she speaks to her son. “He’ll take you down to see the ducks and the geese. Mommy will be there in a few minutes. Can you do that for me? Go with uncle Yaz to feed ducks?”
 He nods, and she takes his little face in her hands and presses a kiss to his forehead.
 “You’ll be okay?” Yaz asks. “If you need me to stick around…”
 “I’ll be fine.”
 He nods, then looks at Mark. “Just so you know, I know about fifteen different ways to kill someone without leaving any evidence behind. And my sister knows about five times more than that.”
 “I’m not here to cause trouble,” he promises. “I’m just here to talk.”
 “Yeah…sure you are…” Yaz mutters, and then takes TJ by the hand and hauls him off back towards the playground.
 ****
 “He’s a little cutie,” Mark observes. “Looks nothing like you though. None of them do.”
 “What the hell is wrong with you?” Esme hisses. “First you show up at my house and talk to my husband, now you’re following me around and talking to my three old? Are you following me?”
 “You never called,” he attempts to reason. “I gave your husband my business card and he said he’d tell you to give me a call and…”
 “He should have just punched you in the throat and threw your ass in a shallow grave. And believe me, he’s more than capable of doing it. And much worse things. What do you want? It’s been eight years. No contact. Exactly the way I like it. And all of a sudden you just show up out of the blue? Are you unhinged?”
 “I’ve kept in touch with your mom. She’s the one who told me where to find you.”
 “Oh, I know. And believe me, she’s going to be on my shit list for a long time. What do you want? Why are you showing up at my house? Why are you following me to a park and watching me with my kids? Do you realize how creepy that is? That you’re just hanging out watching us and talking to my son? That is creepy as fuck and that is a line you never should have crossed. My son, Mark? Are you serious right now?”
 “You’re making way too much of a big deal out of this, Esme. I guess some things never change, huh? You still overreact.”
 “Don’t even try that with me. I’m not the same person I was when I let you get away with all your crap. So don’t you dare try and gaslight me. For once just own up to your own shit. You never should have kept in contact with my mother and you definitely should not have shown up at my house. You talked to my husband? Like, seriously Mark?”
 “He’s a nice guy. Not nearly as intimidating as he looks,” her ex smirks. “He’s a big boy, huh? Strong as hell.”
 “Why don’t you show up at the house again and try your bullshit on him and you can see just how strong and intimidating he can be?  I honestly would like to see that. I’d like to see him just hand you your ass. You have no idea what he’s capable of. And I don’t think you really want to find out.”
 “I’m not underestimating him. I’ve heard the stories. They’re out there if you know the right people. I definitely would not want to get on his bad side.  I heard what he did to those guys back in that apartment in Dhaka. I thought maybe it was all just a bunch of bullshit. Did he really kill a guy with a garden rake?”
 “I’m not indulging you in this. I don’t care what you’ve heard. I don’t care who you’ve heard it from. You had no right going to my house and talking to him. And you definitely had no right coming here and talking to my son. How low are you willing to stoop? How much further down into the gutter are you willing to go? That is my child, Mark. My three-year-old. And you’re out here luring him away like some pedophile.”
 “I was not luring him away. He saw me and wandered over to talk to me. That’s it. I would have never hurt him, you know that.”
 “Because you only hurt women, right?” she crosses her arms over her chest. “Just tell me what you’re doing here. Why do you want to talk to me so badly? Can’t you just go back under whatever rock you’ve been living under for the past eight years? I have a life. One that doesn’t include you. I have a husband and kids. Can’t you just let me be?”
“I just want to talk to you,” Mark assures her. “I’m not here to cause problems. I just want to talk.”
 “About what?”
 “Can we go and sit down somewhere?  Get a little privacy?”
 “You either talk right here or not at all. I’m not going anywhere with you. So talk. Whatever you have to say, just get it out.”
 His eyes narrow as he looks over her shoulder. “Your friend is staring at us.”
 “That’s Nik. And she’s probably going through all the different ways she can kill you. You wouldn’t want to meet her in a dark alley, either. Stop trying to change the subject. What do you want? Why are you here?”
 “To talk.”
 “I got that already. About what? You’re testing my patience, Mark.”
 “First things first…” he reaches into the breast pocket of his golf shirt and plucks out a small, sparkling and shiny object, offering it to her.  “…you left it behind.”
 The engagement ring he’d given to her many years ago. When things had seemed normal. Perfect. When she’d been convinced she’d found the love of her life and she’d wanted nothing more than to devote her life to him.
 She slaps his hand away. “You’re lucky I didn’t shove it up your ass or down your throat. What is wrong with you? Why would you bring that? If I didn’t want it then, why would I want it now?”
 “Well I noticed you don’t wear one, so…”
 “So you thought I’d just take that one back and wear it? You really are a delusional, arrogant prick, aren’t you. You’re not part of my life anymore. You haven’t been part of my life in eight years. And I was perfectly fine with that. I don’t want your ring. I don’t want you showing up at my house. I don’t want you talking to my husband or my son. You’re messed up, Mark. You have serious issues. You need to just go. Go back to whatever cave you’re living in and…”
 “Denver,” he interrupts. “I live in Denver now.”
 “Oh, how convenient. Considering you hated Colorado when we were together. Well go back to Denver, then. Go back there and leave me alone. Leave us alone.”
 She attempts to turn on her heel and walk away, but he captures her by the wrist and turns her around to face him.
 “Don’t…” she warns, and yanks her hand out of his grasp. “…ever touch me like that.”
 He releases her and then holds his hands up in surrender. “Just give me a chance, okay? Let me just explain what I’m doing here. It’s just to talk, I promise. There’s things I need to say to you. To get off my chest. Will you let me do that?”
 She crosses her arms over her chest once again, head cocked to the side as she waits for him to continue.
 “I’m in a program. For my drinking. I know what you’re going to say. That it only took eight years for me to get to this point.  And that I should have listened to all the times you begged me to go and get help. That things would be completely different now if I had have.”
 She doubts it. Their problems extended far beyond his alcohol issues. Getting help for that barely scratches the surface.
 “One of the things I need to do…to make a clean break and start a new life…is to make amends for things I’ve done. It doesn’t erase what was said or what I did, but it’s an important step I need to take. For my own mental and physical health.”
 “Because that’s all it was ever about, right Mark? You. I was never really in the equation.”
 “Maybe it will give you some kind of closure as well. Maybe you need to hear these things just as much as I need to say them. So you can get on with your life.”
 “I’ve gotten on with my life. I met the love of my life. The true love of my life. I got married. Had babies. I love the life I have. With the person I’ve made that life with. I don’t need to hear anything from you, Mark. But I understand why you need to say them.”
 He gives a smile of appreciation, taking a deep breath as he nervously rubs his hands together.  “I know that I hurt you,” he begins. “I know that I wasn’t the easiest person to get along with. Live with. That there were things I said and did that were horrible. That I was a terrible person to you a lot of the times. Especially after the baby.”
 She nods in agreement, swallowing down the lump of emotion that has lodged in her throat.
 “I think we just got caught up in things.  I had just come out of a bad relationship and I was looking for someone…anyone…to fill that hole inside of me. And you were there. I met you and everything seemed right with the world again. And maybe it was wrong. Maybe it never should have happened. I was your commanding officer. But it did happen. And I don’t regret that. Because there were some good times. And when things were good, they were damn good. Weren’t they?”
 “I never denied there were good times, Mark. But there were more bad than good and you can’t deny that.”
 “And you can’t deny that those times weren’t all my fault. You’re not exactly the easiest person to live with, Esme. You don’t make it easy to love you. I’m surprised this guy’s held on as long as he has, to be honest.”
 She smirks. “And you were doing so well there for a minute. You almost had me feeling sorry for you.”
 “He must have a lot more patience than I do. Almost six years, right? And he’s still around? You must be doing something right.”
“I give amazing blow jobs and he gets laid nearly every day, twice a day,” she retorts, and he frowns. “You actually almost had me there, Mark. I was starting to feel sorry for you. I was actually starting to feel proud of you for getting help. And then you do this. You turn it around so you’re the victim.”
 “I’m only pointing out that things fell apart because of both of us. Granted, I was a lot worse than you were and you put more into it when it came to trying to keep things together. You definitely worked harder than I did when things were falling apart.  And I know I went off the deep end after the baby. I’m sorry. For the things I said and the things I did to you. The other women. The lying. The being a complete asshole.  And that’s what I came to say to you. That I’m sorry and I hope one day you can forgive me.”
 She nods, considering his words, arms still crossed over her chest, hands rubbing her shoulders.
 “You have a beautiful family, Esme. You’ve got a guy that’s obviously crazy about you. Amazing kids. And I’m glad you found that. I’m glad you found someone that loves you as much as he does. Someone that could give you what I couldn’t.  I’m sorry I couldn’t be the kind of man that you needed. I really am. Even now I wish things could have been different.”
 “Things happen for a reason,” she says. “Had we…had you fixed things…I wouldn’t have what I have now. I never would have met Tyler. And that was the best thing that ever happened me. Even if what happened afterwards was screwed up. I don’t regret meeting him. Or going through what I had to. He almost died. I almost lost him and I had just found him. But I don’t regret how I met him or how things happened between us. And none of that would have happened if things worked between us.”
 “Well I hope he appreciates it. How much you love him. How much you’re willing to go through for him. Because when you love, you love with your whole heart. Your whole being. And I just hope he realizes how lucky he is. I hope that you have a long life together. A happy life. And I really am sorry I couldn’t give you all that.”
 “And I’m sorry too,” she admits. “For not being the person you needed.”
 “That’s the thing. You were. And I was just too stupid to realize it.”
 “Mommy,” Millie appears by her side, tugging at the bottom of her t-shirt.  “I’m hungry.”
 “Again?” Esme laughs, and scoops her up into her arms. “You’re getting to be just as bad as your daddy and your brothers. Can you say hi?”
 “Hi,” the little girl chirps, and offers a hand. “I’m Amelia. But everyone calls me Millie. I like that better.’
 He smiles and shakes her hand.
 “I’m five,” she announces. “Those are my brothers...” she nods over her mother’s shoulder in the direction of where Yaz is helping the twins shake playground sand out of their sandals. “Tyler and Tanner. They’re twins. But they don’t look exactly alike.”
 “Fraternal,” Esme explains. “Not identical. But you’d never know it if you saw them side by side. It’s hard for people to tell them apart, isn’t it, Millie? We can because we live with them and see them every day. But to other people it’s hard.”
 Millie nods. “Sometimes, at school, if they have a new teacher or a new person watching them on the playground, they’ll pretend to be each other. Just to mess people up. They think it’s funny,” she rolls her eyes at that, then adds in exasperation, “Boys. They try at home too, but mommy and daddy know who is who. That’s my other brother,” she points in the direction of where Nik is buckling the baby into his stroller. “Declan. He’s just a baby. I like him better than the other two. I really want a baby sister. I’m tired of having brothers.”
 “Well that’s something your dad and I have to decide. Whether it be a brother or a sister.  We don’t really get to pick. It just happens.”
  “Do you know my daddy?” Millie addresses Mark. “His name is Tyler too. My brother was named after him.”
 “We met,” he confirms. “We don’t really know each other though.”
 “You know mommy?”
 He nods.
 “How?”
 “Your mom and I knew each other a long time ago. We met at her old job. Long before she met your dad or had you or your brothers.”
 “You were friends?”
 He smiles. “Something like that.”
 “Do you like dogs?”
 Mark blinks.
 “I have a dog. His name is Macaroni. But everyone calls him Mac. I try telling everyone that’s not his name, but…” she shrugs.
 “Welcome to the world of five-year old’s,” Esme grins. “Where your attention span is limited yet you can carry on six different conversations at the same time. I should go. The other three are probably hungry too. And we should get home before daddy and Ovi, right?” she presses a kiss to Millie’s temple.
 “Ovi’s my other brother,” Millie explains. “But he didn’t come from mommy’s tummy. Mommy and daddy didn’t make him like they made the rest of us. I’m only five, but I know how these things work, you know.  Ovi doesn’t look like me. But he’s still my brother.”
 “The drug dealer’s kid?” Mark asks Esme, and she nods. “Pretty admirable. You guys taking him on like that.”
 “He needed a family. Him and Tyler have a pretty tight bond. Even back then they did. And we couldn’t just leave him there.”
 “He never would have survived. If you hadn’t have taken him. You realize that, right?”
 She nods, then gives Millie a smile and a kiss on the forehead. “Hungry? Should we go and grab something to eat? Make Uncle Yaz pay? We should go. If all four of them start carrying on at the same time…”
 “Thank you, Esme,” he reaches out and rubs her shoulder. “For hearing me out. I know it wasn’t easy for you and I know you didn’t owe me anything. And I hope one day you can forgive me.”
 “Maybe,” she says. “I’m glad to see you’re getting yourself together, Mark. That you’re finally taking things seriously and getting the help you need. I really am. You deserve much better than the cards you’ve been dealt. You always did.”
 He smiles, then reaches out to tuck a wayward piece of hair behind her ear. “Your hair has always done that,” he chuckles. “I always used to fix it for you.”
 “Well, someone else does that for you now. So…”  she backs away. Far enough that he can’t reach her.
 “I really am happy for you. Genuinely happy. You got the life you wanted. Someone that loves you and can provide for you, give you children. He’s lucky.”
 “I’m pretty lucky myself. Even if it takes something like this to make me realize it. He’s a good man. Not perfect, but perfect for me.  And he’s a great father. Right, Millie? Isn’t he? Isn’t he a great daddy?”
 “The best daddy ever,” she gushes. “Even if he won’t let me paint his nails or wear the tiara.”
 “It’s a long story,” Esme says.
 “But he does take me fishing,” the little girl continues. “And hiking. Those are pretty cool too. Do you have kids?”
 “No,” he responds. “I was never lucky enough to have kids. Your mom’s a good mom, isn’t she?”
 “The best ever,” Millie says, and presses a noisy kiss to Esme’s cheek. “Even if she does keep giving me brothers.”
 “And that’s our cue to leave,” Esme laughs. “I need to get these guys fed and home. It was nice seeing you, Mark. For what it’s worth, I hope you got what you needed by coming here. I know it wasn’t easy for you, either.”
 “If you ever need anything, and I mean anything, don’t hesitate to call. I’ll help anyway I can. Maybe we can start from square one. Be friends again. We always worked better as friends. Would you at least think about it? Give it a chance.”
 “We’ll see,” she says. “If you don’t hear from me…well if you don’t hear me, just take care of yourself. You’re on the right path. Stay on it.”
 “I will,” he promises, and then she turns on her heel and walks away.
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unfortunatematchups · 4 years
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(Hello is this blog dead because I haven't seen you post since February)
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nope, this blog aint dead. i have it open on a browser tab as long as im online to check on any new asks and messages. im going to leave a short explanation here for those who dont want to waste their time.
weve been busy with other interests and ive gotten something like a writers block. matchup block? since im the primary writer here, theres pretty much no activity as long as im not writing. thats it. no reason, nothing to do with personal problems. just a block. 
keep reading for the real reason. you might not like it, but here it is.
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im going to use these john sprites to convey my emotion so it might clear up any doubts on how im feeling. lets start with the process of how i write a match.
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this is what a draft looks like. i write out how i would rant about this pairing, errors and all, then i leave it for the next day to come back to this and clean this draft into a polished, three-pointer paragraph. the thing is, im the only one doing this, so its obviously going to take long. i dont mind, i love to type and see something spawn from my effort. 
the problem? these rants are people-specific. right. whatever im rambling about in the draft, its about the ask and the ask only. it wouldnt fit if you crammed it into another ask, it wouldnt make a lick-a-sense if it was used to answer someone else. but, when i start to polish it up with clear and coherent sentences, suddenly it becomes… static. it becomes plain and simple, uninteresting and linear. think of it like youre hearing about a book from someone you know and trust versus a review. the person you know describes why the book is great with a lot of passion and love, but theres a lot of errors in delivery and some awkward bits they havent flushed out yet. 
nevertheless, its enjoying and persuasive, because you can see how they love it so much to the point where it gets them like that. they dont plan out how theyll describe the book to you word by word, because theres no need to. seeing how it gets them excited gets you excited, so you buy their faith in the book. 
what about a review? its clean, its cut, its perfect in delivery. it has a flow, introducing you to the story and overall appeal, then maybe it digs down for a spoiler or two. it gels with you in a simple fashion, doesnt quite have that connection a passionate ramble has. because its professional. 
thats what ive been making this blog to be. professional. i answer the request with a polished, pretty and perfect answer. theres no personal connection. i could take a match, swap out a couple of words, maybe cut out a bit, and it would be clear for another match. it feels static to write those paragraphs, and it progressively gets worse each time i repeat the process. im chipping away at something so close, so personal and unique into something dull and professional because i want it to look clean.
but thats my end of the problem. i dont like how it comes out, so what? people enjoy it. they must be, seeing how theres fifty three fucking asks for matchups and 73 followers. 
i wont show all the asks i have in the inbox, but ill tell you what majority, if not all of them, sound like. 
“I’m bi/pan”, “I have brown hair/eyes”, “I’m chubby/short”, “I like art/gaming/reading/writing”, “I’m shy around people I don’t know, I’m crazy around people I know”, “I’m a nerd”, “I have ADHD/Anxiety”. 
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of course, there are some exceptions. not everything i say is as is, but from 50+ asks, these are what about three quarters of them sound like. there are personal differences, like music tastes and obscure hobbies, but the general gist is there. 
im not going to say anything about the sexuality orientation, because im in a friend group where majority, if not all, are not cishets. yes, people like art and gaming. 
but thats it? these descriptors are such shallow answers. i can personalise a match for you, sure, but does it feel like its right? you like gaming. so what, do you like ALL games? from FPS to Dating sims to Horror games to Sports games to Adult games? do you like ALL art? Surrealism, sculpture, comics, abstract, even those where they splash paint and call it a day? really? i dont think im asking for a lot when it comes to being specific. some asks literally just go ‘im a bi female, 5′3, i like gaming and drawing, im sometimes shy but i can be sassy at times’. 
with everyone being so similar and vague, how am i supposed to give a match i feel is right? i might as well take everyones favourite boy david elizabeth strider and talk about how he likes your art and how he likes gaming and oh isnt it so great that you two like music. 
there are some unique ones, and its pretty obvious which ones they are because ive put in more love into them. and i havent been able to do that to many asks. 
and the physical descriptions. while im sure some of the characters do have types and preferences, i dont care for appearances. i dont care if youre fat or skinny, i dont care if youre tall or short, brown hair or blonde. you being morbidly obese or morbidly skinny may affect the match depending on how i feel the characters might respond to someone with those physical traits, but they shouldnt matter. 
i dont need how you look. i dont want how you look. its shallow and unimportant. it takes up space in the ask, because you could be using it to describe your personality or interests in detail. not that youre limit to one ask, you can send in an entire fucking fourteen page essay and id match you, as long as youre telling me something i can pair you with. 
telling me youre ‘chubby’ or ‘blonde’ doesnt help visualise shit. this shouldnt be new information to you or anyone else. writing shit like ‘he loves your curves!’ or ‘she likes how short you are because it makes you cute’ is bullshit and is simply self-serving nonsense. yes, its an additional bonus if your lover likes how youre short or fat, but that shouldnt be why theyre in love with you. a paragraph based on how much they like to hold you are appreciate your body is utter fucking nonsense. you appreciate your own body, and thats it. 
i dont feel inspired when i look at some of these asks. i dont feel like i should answer any of these because a) im not obligated to, this blog is just a side hobby and b) id be writing something i dont enjoy for people who might also not enjoy it. i dont deserve to sit at my laptop and write something i feel doesnt represent my work or ideas well, and the person who im matching doesnt deserve the half-assed boring paragraph of nonsense im pulling out of my ass just to clear the inbox. 
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ive taken some time away from this blog and upon receiving this ask, i wanted to use the same old excuse every other blog uses: ‘we’ve been busy, so we went on an unannounced hiatus’. 
but thats not true. with the pandemic forcing lockdowns, theres essentially nothing else for us to do. if anything, this would mean that we have more time to write. 
so there it is. my truthful answer as to why nothings coming out of this blog.
part of this is my fault. i thought that maybe i could force myself to match all those vague asks that feel like theyre about the same person, just with a couple of changes. but i cant. i wont. im not going to keep writing shit i dont like, and im not going to keep giving half-assed matches, giving characters people are at the very least sure to be okay with. 
i want to write exciting, unique and adorable relationships. i thought that with the homestuck fandom being so vast and creative, maybe i would get the chance to meet and write for a couple of people who were just so different it would make pairings id never thought of. 
but nah, it looks like everything is the same. all the anon asks start to bleed together. the responses start becoming the same. im given descriptions that sound so tame, so generalised. like somehow, youre afraid of letting me know who you are as a person. or not, perhaps you just struggle with expressing yourself. thats why youre using anon to send in your ask, isnt it? 
i turned anon on because i wanted to respect privacy. i wanted people to be able to send in each and every detail about themselves while remaining behind a mask so they could get the best match without exposing every inch of themselves on a blog. maybe that was my mistake. 
ill leave the matches open, but im only going to do the ones that interest me. but if you decide that you dont give a fuck about the quality of the match, tell me or something. i have drafts that i can just post. maybe youd like that. 
-pretty obviously, mod olio.
11 notes · View notes
belphegor1982 · 4 years
Note
How about the first chapter Tommy appears?
[Pick any passage from any fanfic I’ve written, and stick that selection in my ask/fan mail/submission box. I will then give you the equivalent of a DVD commentary on that snippet!]
Thanks a lot!! (Also I answered this kind of ask about a passage from chapter 2, if you want to take a look - it’s all spoiler-free!)
Here’s Thomas Sean Ferguson’s grand introduction, then :D Oh god, it’s kind of awkward, because like with Blake there’s a certain amount of early installment weirdness. Also I go on and oooooooon (sorry about that). But let’s go!
_________
Quite lost in his thoughts this time, [Jonathan] barely registered that he was walking past the Museum (where Evy is, right now, negotiating the Cairo Museum “lending” the Diamond of Ahm Shere to the British government - which kickstarts the plot) before somebody knocked into him, hard enough for both of them to crumple, breathless, on the ground. It took Jonathan thirty seconds to get his lungs in working order again and, instinctively, check his pockets for anything missing.
A lot of this commentary risks being “this used to be [thing] before I tweaked it in the rewrites”, and a lot of it is because I’ve gained some insight in the past twelve years. Jonathan’s first thought being checking his pockets (which - and I made it explicit in the second or third paragraph of the story :D - comes from his being a skilled pickpocket himself and knowing how it works), however, was there from the very beginning.
“So sorry I bumped into you, mate, didn’t mean to,” came the voice of the attacker. Jonathan’s eyes widened at the sound of this voice and he squinted up at its owner.
And cue Tom Ferguson :D He wasn’t my first OC, far from it (that dubious honour would probably belong to the buttload of OCs I created for my Marauder era story which died when Order of the Phoenix came out), but he was the first I got to really explore and develop, and he ended up one of my favourites ever. Em, I answered an ask of yours way back in 2015, “introduce us to two of your OCs” :o) The first was him, the second was Marguerite LeBeau.
“Tommy? Is that you? Tommy Ferguson?”
The diamond is the reason the O’Connell-Carnahan gang goes to Egypt, but without Tommy, there’d be no plot. Hamilton would probably still find a way to “retrieve” the diamond from the museum, only without Evy and her family getting personally involved and then having to go back to the UK saying she failed her mission. and then cue the end of the world about a week and a half from there, but shhh - spoilers!
The fellow shook his head, still looking a bit dazed; then his own eyes, round and brown, (so he’s the opposite of Jon in almost every way, physically speaking. Like I said in the aforementioned OC ask, I designed him as a foil for Jon, fundamentally different in some ways but very similar in others. Physically speaking he’s basically Sean Astin (with some James Corden thrown in) with brown eyes, blond hair, and a Liverpool accent.) went even rounder as he stared at Jonathan. “Jon! What the hell are you doing ‘ere?”
For the longest time Tommy used to call Jonathan by his last name here (and Jon’s earlier line used to be “Ferguson? Is that you? Tommy Ferguson?”). I changed it quite recently. I think I wanted to convey the idea that school friends at the time often called each other by their last names; but since he calls Jonathan “Jon” 100% of the time - and is the only one to do so, which I have Feelings about - I went back to correct it.
“Glad to see you too, old chap,” laughed Jonathan, standing up and dusting himself off before offering a hand at the man on the ground, who accepted it gladly.
Heh. Look, one of the staples of Mummy fanfiction was and still is the old school friend of Evy’s who follows either the siblings (TM time) or the whole family (TMR/post-TMR time) to Egypt and falls in love with Ardeth Bay. I’m not throwing stones here; I’ve read a couple I really liked. There’s the odd Jonathan/OFC romance, too. What I set out to do as a baby writer (I was 21 at the time!) and unsuspecting ace was to write something completely devoid of romance (except the odd Evy/Rick snuggle and, of course, all-encompassing love for each other). And then, as I reread the story for rewrites a decade and a half later, I became more and more convinced that Jonathan and Tommy used to be more than friends, and then when Elizabeth came along the three of them got together as a thruple and very happy for a while. (For some reason I couldn’t work this explicitly into FTaH, though - it felt too much like hinting at this huge story I was never going to write and might have made FTaH much too crowded. So it’s up to the reader to decide, really. Personally, I like both options.) So here’s 37 year old me shipping Jon with a female OC and a male OC, and quite enthusiastically, at that. *chuckles* Wonder what my 21 y-o self would think of it…
He hadn’t seen Thomas Ferguson since some time after the end of the war, what felt like ages ago. They’d made quite a pair at Oxford, the two of them – the scrawny, foppish Southerner with the quiet grin and the sticky fingers, and the broad-shouldered, round-faced Scouser with the laughing eyes and the deceptively innocent face. They’d rowed for the Dark Blues for a bit, got properly pickled on Boat Race Nights, and helped each other out of many a tight spot. Oh, for the halcyon days of youth.
One of the reasons I picked up FTaH again is because the second half of 2019 was very, very British for me. I saw (and read) Good Omens for the first time in early June and my feelings exploded; July was very much about discovering the delights of P.G. Wodehouse’s Jeeves and Wooster (TV show and books). Halfway through that month I remembered my everlasting fondness for the characters of The Mummy and realised the protagonists and Bertie were the same generation, more or less, and I started imagining a crossover. By the time August rolled in I was fully into TM/TMR again, reading fic and my fingers itching to at least correct some iffy parts of FTaH. This last sentence, about Jon’s and Tom’s Oxford days, would never have come out that way if I hadn’t read Wodehouse.
As soon as Tommy was on his feet he was wringing Jonathan’s hand with all the energy he’d been famous for as a boy. “Sorry, Jon, mate, I was a bit stunned –” After all these years, he still retained some of that accent, too! “– En’t everyday you bump into a pal from Oxford in the middle of Cairo! How’d you get here, for starters?”
…Tommy’s accent. *sighs* I’m not a fan of writing accents phonetically in the first place. When I write Newkirk (Hogan’s Heroes) and his Cockney accent, there isn’t much except the odd “me” for “my” or things like “d’you”. I did have to make it obvious Tommy had an accent, though, if only because later Jonathan is surprised when he tones it down to speak with the curator. (This is something his 18 year old self found incredibly difficult, btw.) @thisstableground oversaw the first chapter and gave me very valuable tips, including “en’t” (// “ain’t), which was super helpful in giving Tommy’s accent its own specificity and meant that I didn’t need him to drop “h”s and “g”s all over the place. (which he does do, but hopefully not in a way that takes you away from the story.)
As for why he’s from Liverpool as opposed to, say, Manchester or the East End of London, the answer is very simple. I’d discovered the Beatles a year or two prior and they remain one of my favourite bands in the whole world ♥
“Well, I followed my sister,” Jonathan replied, grinning. In fifteen years or so, he had not realised how much he had actually missed this accent. “She’s giving a hand to the curator of the Museum of Antiquities – she’s something of an authority now, as a matter of fact.”
“Oh aye? That’s fantastic. I en’t forgotten how you’d talk about her, y’know. On and on and on. I’m curious to see what she looks like.”
Somethingthat didn’t change after rewrites is the idea that Jon was verysecretive about his Oxford years. Tom and Evy never met before this,and Evy hadn’t even heard about Tom before.
Jonathan stole a glance at the entrance steps of the Museum, and turned to Tommy with a smirk. “Really? Well, if you really want to, I suppose I could…”
His sister had just appeared on the stairs, accompanied by the curator, an elderly man with greying hair and whiskers. The curator, Dr Fahad Hakim, has a somewhat larger role later on, but this is just a cameo to let you know he exists :o) There’s another mention earlier, too. Tommy followed Jonathan’s gaze and looked at them, goggling at Evy in particular.
“Jon – are my eyes mistaken, or is this gorgeous woman Doctor Evelyn O’Connell? I’ve read about her, she’s famous in my line of work… According to what I’ve read, she was one of the first people to make it out of the City of the Dead alive –”
He doesn’t say what his “line of work” is, but we (and Jonathan) can infer it has something to do with archaeology or Egyptology. And, incidentally, I’m setting up the first alarm bells here because, as Evy points out in the following chapter, at the time her name was “Carnahan”, so how come Tommy didn’t seem to make the connection between Jon’s bookish sister and this English librarian with the same name? The answer is: because he’s nervous (because he’s in Cairo on secret Chamber of Horus business) and as delighted as he is to see Jon again after so many years his brain went “YOU KNOW NOTHING” then backpedalled and went “…OKAY, YOU KNOW SOME THINGS.”
Jonathan’s grin widened as he nodded. “Yes, that’d be her.”
Tommy rambled on as they walked closer to the stairs, “That’s bloody amazing! I thought she’d look, you know, like in the pictures in the paper, the bookish type with glasses – your typical Southern spinster,” he added with a wink. They waited for the curator to bid her goodbye, and Jonathan, greatly enjoying the situation, crept up on his sister to kiss her on the cheek.
“Hey there, old mum – how’s your day been?”
Evy started, then her expression shifted from slightly irked to a smile at her brother’s laugh. She rolled her eyes. “Honestly, Jonathan, the things that amuse you…”
SIBS!!! I love writing siblings, and those two in particular. One of the things that I find amusing/endearing is how comfortable they are with each other, physically (and emotionally) speaking. It’s all gentle touch here, light slap there, running hand in hand, lots of things you wouldn’t expect from two Very English siblings from the first half of the 20th century.
“You’re just miffed that I startled you. C’mon, I’d like you to meet someone – an admirer,” he added with a grin to Tommy, who stood there, his eyes wide. “Thomas Ferguson, an old school friend of mine. Tommy – Evelyn Carnahan O’Connell, my famous baby sister.”
There’s a couple of instances where someone introduces Tom as “Thomas”, or Tom introducing himself as such. Most of the time, though, he’s “Tommy” - until chapter 9, where we spend some time in his head for the first time and see he thinks of himself as “Tom”, and when we go back to Jon’s PoV in chapter 11 Jonathan made the mental switch to “Tom”, as well, to separate the boy from his youth from the man he’s become. I actually spell it out in chapter 17: “A lot had happened since that late afternoon in Giza when his friend had pointed a gun at him and stopped being ‘Tommy’. ‘Tommy’ was a warm memory of loud laughter, daring escapes, bright eyes over pints clinking in the comfortable darkness of a well-loved pub. Tom, on the other hand, was a fairly decent man chucked into a complex situation, who had a wife he loved dearly but lied to about his job, who had not wanted to bring harm to an old friend but had done so anyway.”
Evy held out her hand, which Tommy grabbed and shook heartily. “So you’re the old scoundrel’s sister? No wonder he talked about you – though you don’t quite fit the description now…”
“What exactly did you tell your ‘school friends’ about me?” asked Evy, warning in her voice, though the twinkle in her eye did not quite disappear. Nevertheless, Jonathan preferred to ignore her question, earning a hard nudge in the ribs.
He bragged, actually. A lot. Since he thought Tommy and Lizzie would never meet Evy, Jonathan considered himself free to speak quite enthusiastically of his baby sister’s achievements and how bright she was. Of course, he also complained a good deal, because even at 12 Evy had a penchant for being bossy that came out even in letters.
“So, what did you say your ‘line of work’ was?” he asked Tommy.
“Well – don’t laugh. I work at the British Consulate in Cairo, specialising in antique stuff. Oh, I’m sorry, Dr O’Connell,” he stammered with a glance at Evy who had an eyebrow raised, “I mean I’m one of the chief agents in the British Antique Research Department.”
No he’s not! He’s actually a secret agent, kinda :D And not remotely close to a “chief agent”, at that. Tom Ferguson is deeply in love with his wife and nothing will ever change that state of affairs, but he might have a little intellectual crush on Evy, which leads him to… wanting to impress her a little bit.
“I’ve heard of you!” exclaimed Evy. “At least of that Research Department. They’re gradually cutting off public funds – encouraging individual financing – but that won’t do any good for scientific research! Such a stupid decision is only going to –”
“So you lot are the ones she kept fuming about for half a year!” Jonathan snorted. The infamous Ferguson rotten luck struck again.
I still regret I didn’t find more opportunities to showcase how ridiculously unlucky Tommy could get sometimes. Ah well.
Tommy looked dejected. Evy must have seen this, because she bit her lip and said, in softer tones, “Look, I’m sorry I snapped at you. But as my brother said, I’ve been… rather upset over this. There’s been some pressure on the British Museum lately by private patrons who threatened to pull out their funding on some… sensitive collections. Without the Crown to back us up, we might have to cave in to their ridiculous demands.”
Before the rewrites, Evy’s speech used to be a lot more “private funding is bad” without much nuance or justification. I changed it to something that hopefully makes sense and justifies her previous outburst. 
“I’ll – I’ll tell my superiors about it,” said Tommy, still looking unsure. “See what I can do. I’m sure it won’t be much, but… Well. I’ll have tried.”
“That’s nice,” Evy said cheerfully, taking Jonathan’s arm and starting to walk. See what I mean about physicality? She doesn’t even ask him with a look, just takes his arm and that’s that. And he lets her, because he’d do the same thing. “Look, the two of you – I’ve had something of a rough day, so I’ll go home, if you don’t mind. You can –”
“Brilliant idea!” said Jonathan, flashing a grin at his sister. “I thought of going to the Sultan’s Casbah, but you might find it a tad – let’s say – dingy, my good friend.”
The Sultan’s Casbah, in the novelisation of the film and my personal headcanon, was the bar Jonathan patronised the night before the first time we see Evy and where he stole a valuable-looking puzzle box from an unsuspecting drunk American. 
“Worse than the Turf?” Seeing Evy’s puzzled look, Tommy explained, “Sorry, private joke. I mean the Turf Tavern, that’s where I saw him for the first time. Me family didn’t ‘ave much money, so I used to work there to pay for my studies. Very nice pub, didn’t deserve the reputation.”
The Best Beloved and I took a trip to Oxford in the spring of 2003 (by bus - 20 hours to get there, same to come back home) and while we were so broke we had to settle for a soup and some rice in a lovely Thai restaurant we did go for a drink at the Turf. I remember a dimly-lit room with dark wood, and I think either they changed a lot of it or my memory isn’t that good because it doesn’t really look like that on the Google Maps pics. Still, I liked it, and when I needed an Oxford pub for the story it’s the one I worked in. Incidentally, there was a lot of illegal gambling going on in there in the 19th century, hence Tommy’s mention of the pub’s bad reputation.
“I’m sure you did indeed see a lot of my brother there,” Evy slipped in slyly. Jonathan threw a mock glare at her.
“To think you are almost my only family. What a shame.” Then, as Tommy looked uncertain, he added, “Carry on, Tom.”
“All right. So I was one of the only students who needed a job, and there were some others who thought that it was – how’d they put it? – a ‘disgrace’ to our university.”
“Preposterous,” said Evy sternly. “As if money could take you further than talent.”
Jonathan bit back on the cynical comment that crossed his mind. Sometimes Evy’s naïveté baffled him.
“Right,” said Tommy uncertainly, glancing at Jonathan. “So, one day, a little bunch of lads come in, and Jon here was sometimes hanging with ‘em at the time –”
Because Jonathan likes to gamble with people with deep pockets :P
Evy glared at Jonathan in advance, and he threw his hands in the air. “Don’t look at me like that! I haven’t done anything!” Evy’s gaze softened, and Jonathan finished, “…Yet.”
That earned him a playful slap on the arm, and a laugh from Tommy, who went on, “Anyway, one of the blokes orders somethin’ or other, and starts to poke fun at me. Well, I was used to it, so I let them be. Then they continued, and I finally noticed that skinny lad in the corner who was makin’ fun of them for making fun of me. Didn’t quite understand what the hell was going on – oh, sorry, Dr O’Connell – what was happening.”
While John Hannah is not “skinny” by any stretch, he is rather svelte, and one of my unimpeachable headcanons for Jonathan is that he was skinny as a rake in his youth - until he went through basic training (then WW1) and his shoulders filled out a little. It’s more or less what happened to the Best Beloved, so I feel quite secure in this headcanon’s plausibility. Plus, picturing 18 year old Jonathan as a mix of awkward gangliness and skinny limbs and aristocratic poise is just funny. (and I find the comparison with Tommy - who at that point was soft and a little chubby but already had broad shoulders - rather endearing.)
Evy smiled. “You’ll have to watch your mouth in front of my son, but otherwise it’s fine. And please, call me Evelyn.”
Tommy beamed. “Right, uh, Evelyn. So, uh –”
“What he didn’t know at that point,” interrupted Jonathan, “was that I had my eye on that fellow – what’s his name – Farbow. He owed me quite a bit of money, but wouldn’t repay me. So I was looking for a way to get him back for it.”
“And get the rest of his wallet in the process, of course.”
“Evy, he owed me seventeen pounds. (Which used to be £70 until I did some research and saw that £17 was A Bloody Fortune a the time.) And he was not what I’d call a ‘decent bloke’ – nasty, disdainful piece of work he was, and his little friends with him. Always a dirty word about the Scouser who worked at the Turf Tavern, just because he didn’t belong to his snobby little world. I did the community a favour, really.”
What he doesn’t say is that Edwin Farbow also had a lot to say about “half-Egyptian mongrels” who thought they belonged in those ancient walls. Too bad I couldn’t find a way to work it in this particular fic. If I ever manage to finish at least Tommy’s part of One-Step, Two-Step, Waltz, the first chapter of Pirouette features the whole scene.
“Don’t push it, Jonathan,” warned Evy.
Tommy carried on. “Well, I was glad there was at least one person who didn’t think like Edwin Farbow – nice change. Then Farbow said something – I don’t remember what it was about, I just remember it made me really angry, really. An’ it’s not a pretty sight when I’m really angry at someone.”
It’s always the quiet, genial ones, isn’t it.
Jonathan remembered, but thought it wise to keep his mouth shut.
Both because what Farbow said was pretty damn offensive to Tommy’s character, background, and lineage, and also because Farbow’s rant included “It’s bad enough they let inpeople like Carnahan, who only exists because a glorifiedgrave-robber shagged some darkey and didn’t even have the decencyto pretend otherwise –” and he really doesn’t want to bring this up in front of Evy, who’s had to deal with her own share of this kind of racist bullshit and doesn’t need a reminder.
“An’ – an’ I just lost it, y’know? I dropped his tea over his ‘ead –”
“I say, that one was pretty funny,” Jonathan said, smiling widely at the memory. The strangled yelp that had followed had definitely been one of the best parts.
“So they all leaped for me, obviously – began to punch me, the five or six of them – hey, I still managed to get back at them!” Tommy added quickly, as if defending his honour. Evy hid a smile, and it occurred to Jonathan that that last sentence had something very Rick-like about it. “But I en’t a fool. I know a losing fight when I’m in one.”
“Don’t tell me. Jonathan bravely threw himself into the fight to take on as many attackers as possible.” There was mischievous laughter in Evy’s voice, and her eyes were twinkling. If anyone other than her had quipped that way about him, Jonathan would probably have taken offence, or at least pretended to. But they knew each other enough not to cross the line.
Tommy raised an eyebrow. “Well, that wasn’t quite Jon’s style – I don’ know, might’ve changed since then. But yeah, he did. One moment I was squashed under five or six, the next I found out we were two on the floor.”
This was perhaps the biggest suspension of disbelief I’m asking the reader to make - which, in a story where governments have secret agencies to keep an eye on magical ancient artefacts and a diamond has magic powers, is saying something. Jonathan throwing himself into a fight because someone he loves (ie. four people in the whole world that we know of) is in danger? Yep, that checks out, that’s what he does both in TM and TMR. But an (almost) complete stranger? I needed one hell of a justification. Which ended up… 60% Farbow’s money and 40% Farbow being a giant arsehole who had no business making decent bartenders look like that.
Evy began to laugh. “Why, Jonathan? My Jonathan, in a fight, for someone he barely knew?”
At that Jonathan cleared his throat, a mite embarrassed. “I told you, I was looking for Farbow’s wallet. That was the perfect diversion – you should’ve seen that twit looking in every corner for his lost wallet afterwards. It was three months before he gave up.” And it’s lucky you didn’t see me then. I was a bloody mess. “Why’re you looking at me like that?”
“Nothing.” Evy smiled. “You never told me that.”
To be fair, there’s a LOT of things he never told you, old girl ;o)
“Should I have?”
“I don’t know, it’s – it was nice of you to do that, even for the wrong reasons. I’m proud of you.”
Jonathan felt an unexpected lump rise in his throat. Not a very big one, but enough to keep him from talking for a few seconds. It was always like this whenever she said something really nice to him. It caught him off guard each and every time.
Look, it took me years to realise it, but I’m a sucker for validation. Sometimes it bleeds out on characters I write.
After a little while, Evy stopped in front of a door and announced, “Well, we’re home.”
“Nice house,” commented Tommy, taking in the sand-coloured neat front and the curtains at the windows.
“Our ‘old haunt’ since the family moved to Egypt,” Jonathan said, opening the door and stepping aside to let his sister in. “Evy wasn’t even walking then.”
In the first film, Evy, Rick, Jonathan and the remainder of the American party go straight to Fort Brydon, and the next thing we see is Evy emptying her suitcase while Rick tries to fill it. Since both Carnahan siblings actually live in Cairo, I thought they would live in an actual house, and from there I extrapolated that the family had one house in England (the manor we see in TMR) and a smaller pied-à-terre in Cairo.
“I do believe I was,” Evy protested.
Jonathan snorted. “Oh, you weren’t. You crawled.”
si b l i n gssss ♥♥ And like, you can always count on a big sib to remind you that you could be ridiculous as a kid. I should know, I’m the big sister :D
Evy seemed to resist the urge to slap her brother and walked into the living room, her nose in the air. She was greeted by two simultaneous voices:
“Mum!”
“Hey, hon.”
Rick’s first words in this story, and it’s greeting his wife ^^ I didn’t do it on purpose, but it’s. Y’know. There.
Jonathan waited a few seconds, then walked into the room in turn, and grinned at the sight of his nephew looking genuinely eager to see him. He was not fooled, however – as soon as Evy wasn’t looking, Alex mouthed the words “Got one?” and frowned as his uncle shook his head. No, he still had no present for Mum’s birthday.
Evy’s birthday mainly originated as a device to get characters (especially Jonathan) moving. It’s the reason he’s roaming the streets of Cairo just before he bumps into Tommy, and why he and Alex go to the bazaar in chapter 5. It also pops up further on in the story, but I’m not saying anything because spoilers.
“Uncle Jon? Who’s that?”
“Who, him?” Jonathan pointed at Tommy behind him, looking uncomfortable at the family reunion, and Alex rolled his eyes. “Tom Ferguson, he was in class with me at Oxford. I ran into him by chance today.”
Tommy stepped past Jonathan and held out his hand to Alex, nearest to him. “Hi – glad to meet you. Jon’s nephew, eh?”
“Yeah,” said Alex, eyeing him with all the suspicion of a ten-year-old who’d seen what he had seen. Behind him, Rick’s eyes spoke loads about his own distrust. But mistrust towards Jonathan and everything related was par for the course on his part, and, admittedly, reasonable.
Alex has Seen Things. This may sound tongue-in-cheek, but it’s true. After what happened in TMR, he’s 100% entitled to being suspicious of strangers. As for Rick, I took my cue from one of his first lines to Jon in TMR being “What did you do this time?” implying that the weird shit happening right now, with the men in red and the sexy lady waving snakes around isn’t exactly unheard of. Hence the “and, admittedly, reasonable”, which I added in the rewrites.
“Thomas Ferguson, British Antique Research Department,” said Tommy, holding out a hand towards Rick, who shook it slowly, still reluctant.
“Rick O’Connell.”
“So you’re Dr O’Connell’s husband? Pleasure to meet you, sir. I’m impressed, you’ve no idea.”
Rick raised an eyebrow. “Impressed?”
“It seems I’m rather famous in the Research Department,” said Evy, laughing.
“Make that infamous,” quipped Jonathan.
“The Department owes your wife a great deal. She was the one who uncovered a huge amount of our information about some obscure periods of Egyptian history, as well as the major part of serious knowledge we’ve got on Hamunaptra,” Tommy pointed out, and Evy blushed. “She’s a legend – one of the original three who managed to go to Hamunaptra and live to tell the tale! But… I assume you’re another one?”
Oh, Tommy. MATE. You’re saying you know three people made it out of Hamunaptra alive, one of whom a woman with the exact same first and last name as your best friend’s sister who had a passion for ancient history, but you had no idea he was one of them as well? 
Incidentally, the early installment weirdness I mentioned earlier mostly consists in Tommy being a lot more energetic and innocent-looking than he later proves to be (which is a little more grounded and pragmatic than Jon). In fact, he and Jonathan’s first couple of scenes together give the impression that he’s the red and Jon’s the blue in the “Bue oni, red oni” trope, when later chapters show Jon as a little bit more of a disaster while Tom struggles to make better choices and be more sensible. Which in the end would make them shades of purple, really.
“Yeah,” said Rick, looking a bit nonplussed. Jonathan definitely didn’t regret bringing Tommy in. Seeing Rick O’Connell confused was a very rare occurrence, too rare to be missed.
“I never knew – who was the third one?”
Jonathan was now struggling to keep a straight face. Rick blinked, and pointed at his brother-in-law. “That was him.”
“You!?” God, the look on his face was priceless. “You were at Hamunaptra?”
“Yes,” risked Jonathan, laughter rising in his voice. “And believe me, it wasn’t exactly a picnic. Oh, by the way, there were four of us, not three.”
Meaning Ardeth, of course. My take is that Tommy - and by extension the Chamber of Horus - know about as much about the Medjai as Evy knew about the Book of Amun-Ra prior to the events of TM: a non-negligible amount of information, but all of it second-hand and some of it a bit dicey.
From the corner of his eye, he could see Rick roll his eyes and grinned, undaunted. This was proving to be a fun evening.
Make the most of it, people, because it’s all going to go downhill fast…
Thank you ♥♥♥
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murasaki-murasame · 5 years
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Thoughts on Fruits Basket 2019 Episode 14: “That’s A Secret”
Me before this episode: “I’m a big strong adult who can DEFINITELY deal with watching Momiji’s backstory and the grave visit get animated in the same episode :)”
Me two seconds into this episode: *insert sad cat picture here*
Anyway this episode is dead even though it killed me and now I’m typing this from beyond the grave.
Thoughts under the cut.
Right off the bat, this episode actually gave us a new set of OP and ED themes, which I’d been curious about for a while. They hadn’t said anything about it for the longest time, and then they just announced it a day or two ago, lol.
The new OP is really going to need some time to grow on me. I can’t help but feel like it should have been swapped with the first OP, since this is where things keep getting heavier. I know there’s some people who disliked how slow and mellow the first OP was, but I loved it, and this super energetic one is kind of hard to get used to.
But the new ED is absolutely AMAZING and I love it. The song feels very similar in tone to the first ED, which is nice because that was also a really nice song, but the visuals are a real departure from basically everything else in the show. From what I’ve seen people seem a bit divided on how they feel about that as an artistic choice, but I love it. I really like how it seemed to be real footage of figurines and dioramas mixed with digital backgrounds and effects. Which reminded me a bit of some visual tricks used in Sarazanmai last season [fun fact that I definitely haven’t just been waiting for an excuse to bring up: the person who did the zodiac animal character designs for this series, Kayoko Ishikawa, is also the person who did the character animation designs in Sarazanmai!]. Though I think my favourite part is the very first shot of Tohru.
Anyway, even though I knew exactly what was coming with this episode, and it was more or less exactly what I expected, it still managed to take me by surprise with just how emotional it was.
For the record, this adapted chapters 23 and 24 of the manga, which were also adapted into episode 15 of the 2001 series. Which also means that the reboot’s just gotten to the end of volume 4 of the manga. I still think we’re looking at about 70 episodes total for the reboot, give or take.
It’s pretty interesting to compare this to the 2001 version, since it’s technically a less drastic difference than the Valentine’s episode, but it still highlights how the 2001 anime made the conscious choice to remove any foreshadowing or character development that hadn’t been resolved in the manga by about volume 8 or so, which is what was out when the 2001 anime was made. From what I remember of the 2001 anime version of this material, they did a really good job with the Momiji side of things, since they kept it pretty 1:1 with the manga, but their version of the grave visit chapter really suffered because so much of Kyo’s character development and depth got taken out across the entire original adaptation, which in particular really took out a whole layer of foreshadowing from this part. It was still fine, from what I remember, but it lacked the sense of mystery and intrigue that the reboot version has, and the whole scene with Kyo and Tohru at the very end of the episode was entirely removed in the 2001 version.
It’s a much less noticeable change than how the 2001 anime had to basically remove a whole chapter or so of content for their Valentine’s day episode since that part of the manga was so heavy with foreshadowing, but at least if you know where things go with the story in the long run, you can really notice all the intentional set-up going on in this episode.
I’m really excited for anime-only people to eventually figure out what’s going on and what exactly this episode is hinting at, especially since more people seem to be starting to develop theories about what they think’s up with Kyo and Yuki’s backstories and how they tie into Tohru and her mother. So I wonder how they’ll all feel about this when they can look back on it later.
I’m definitely biased since I’ve read the manga, and I’ve seen a lot of anime-only people still make largely incorrect guesses about what’s going on after this episode, but wow does a lot of this foreshadowing seem super obvious in hindsight, lol. It’s not a bad thing, but when you know what’s going on, you can really tell how heavily they’re hinting at stuff. In particular the bit with Yuki at the end made it seem really obvious that he’s the one who gave Tohru the hat, but I feel like that’s something that anime-only people might end up forgetting about compared to all the stuff going on with Kyo.
And on the note of that whole final scene, I loved the abrupt cut to the new ED. It was such a neat shift from how every episode thus far has ended with a relatively mellow and slow lead-in to the ED theme. And most [but not all] of the previous episodes had ended with fun and light-hearted scenes. So having this sudden and relatively surprising admission of guilt from Kyo and an abrupt cut to a new ED theme was really neat.
But of course, the True MVP [tm] of this episode was Momiji, our resident precious bunny boy. I’ve been bracing myself for this exact episode for weeks now, but oh man it still hurts so much. I know the reboot’s been really good with it’s dramatic moments, but I wasn’t expecting how intense and visceral everything about his backstory would be. I had to check back at how the manga presented it, and even though it’s mostly the same, the reboot’s a lot more explicit about showing that Momiji’s mother started engaging in self-harm after he was born. In the manga there’s one panel that shows her vaguely laying on the ground with one of her arms tied in bandages, but that’s about it. And in the manga, the bit with Momiji and his dad didn’t really have a clear setting, but the reboot makes it very clear that they’re at the hospital after his mother hurt herself. Which made it hurt all the more.
I also feel like they were a little more visually explicit with Tohru’s flashbacks to her mother’s death and her going to the hospital. That was also presented as a set of small and relatively vague panels in the manga, but the reboot went all in on making sure you knew exactly what was going on. Like always, I think both approaches work well for their different mediums, but I appreciate the reboot’s commitment to giving every scene a sense of time and place, especially when it comes to flashbacks. It gives it a very different feel to the manga at times, which helps it feel fresh and interesting.
Momiji’s backstory is pretty interesting and noteworthy, since even though we’ve already had tragic backstories in this series before, this is basically the first time where the series really starts to specifically explore and develop this theme of parent/child bonds, and how the curse plays into all that. I think that the way the manga handles the theme of being born ‘with a curse’ and how that impacts your relationship with your parents is actually my number one favourite thing about it, and something that I think it does almost perfectly. It’s a big part of why it means so much to me as a story. It’s not really something you see explored often in media, especially not with this level of nuance, and from as many different angles as this series looks at it from as it goes on.
Trust me when I say that I have A LOT I want to say about this whole theme of the story, and this is definitely where it first becomes a big part of it all, but specifically I’m waiting for the Kyo arc to happen later in this season before I really let loose all my thoughts on it. Pretty much like 90% of the main cast have different sorts of messy relationships with their families, and with the state of their bodies, but Kyo’s story is the one that speaks to me the most. Going by when I think the reboot will get to that part, I’ll probably spend most of my post on the season 1 finale talking about that, which would be a pretty fitting place to do it.
Though on the topic of Momiji, I do want to say that the scene where Tohru hugs him and they both cry together is one of the most memorable and hard-hitting parts of the manga. It’s such an raw and emotional example of the sort of acceptance and love that Tohru represents to the Somas. With how many examples we get across the whole story of the zodiac animal forms being a curse that the characters are hurt by, and which cut them off from other people, the image of Tohru hugging Momiji’s bunny form, and Momiji letting himself cry in his bunny form and be hugged by her, really just goes to show why Tohru is such a pivotal character in all this, and why she in particular is the one who manages to get through to the Somas so well.
Also, before I forget, people are talking about the whole debacle with his accent again, and my two cents on the matter are that he definitely comes across like he’s either a native German speaker, or he’s intentionally acting like one, and I tend to lean toward the former. Especially early on, he uses German very fluently and frequently, and there’s a whole running gag of him misspeaking simple phrases in Japanese, so either he’s genuinely more comfortable with German and not fully fluent in Japanese yet, or he’s trying to come across that way intentionally. It’s also worth noting that Momiji even says in this episode that his little sister ‘isn’t very good at speaking Japanese yet’. Basically I don’t think we’re really meant to question the in-universe logistics of whether or not it’d actually make sense for Momiji or his sister to speak German as their first language when it seems like they were both born and raised in Japan, lol. [And on the note of his sister, the short moment of her looking back at him while her mother pulls her away is another one of those little details that make it clear they’re setting up for way later scenes]
Anyway, this was an incredible episode, and it makes me really happy that they’re committing to adapting the entire thing, so all of the foreshadowing in this episode will be followed up on and developed.
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ae0nx · 5 years
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FRUITS BASKET EPISODE 16
I wasn’t really sure whether to do a recap this week or next week as I have a feeling this is a two-parter and there’s a few things and feelings that I feel like will come full circle in the next ep, so I’m gonna (try) and keep it a little simple and short this week.
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So there’s been a lot of dark shit in this anime (well, glimpses so far, we’re not fully in the deep end yet) but this felt... so. Cold. Said so much without any dialogue from the characters. I also like how this moment loops back to the end of the episode - which helped make it feel like a complete episode even though it still felt jarring when the episode just ENDED. Damn two-parters.
- ‘Delinquent POLLUTING the pool’ goddamn man, these girls...
- Uo and Hana being awesome parents while still being at Tohru’s level as her best friends is always the best content of every episode 
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Uo being a total Tamaki except not as creepy 🤣(I love the Foolish King Tamaki, don’t @ me, Ouran fans). But I do love seeing the sensitive side to Uo as it not only develops her as a character but alsooo it’s very obvious who she still idolises and my hearttt
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Actually you know what, I’m so sorry I said that about you Uo girl when Shigure is right there in all his Evil Adult!Tamaki realness. Jeez Shigure hahahaha (Yuki’s ‘disgusting’ broke me LOL)
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OUTFIT APPREICATION: You know what? Uo was slaying the outfits all the way through this episode. The bikini. ALL her past delinquent outfits. But I really like this casual look! I wish I was tall enough to rock a long skirt like she does! Also, if Kyo was a girl, I feel like he’d dress like this? Maybe it’s the crop top... (Kyo and Uo are basically reflections of each other and it’s my favourite platonic ship and I just want them to be bestiessssss)  4 out of 5 stars.
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PSHHHH. Kyo and Yuki picking their respective Power Ranger appointed colours. What dorks. But Yuki does have a point, NO ONE LOOKS GOOD IN ORANGE, KYO and also...
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Silly blushy boys. <3
- Tohru is so blasé about admitting her mum was a former gang member and I LOVE IT. Adorable yet hilarious.
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My Goddd. I can’t. Kyoko’s complete adoration of Tohru in this episode was my breaking part to make me well up in tears. She just... LOVES AND CARES FOR HER DAUGHTER SO MUCH. To the point of her even not noticing Uo who was walking right next to Tohru. Oh man. My heart.
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...Wow. This just jumped out of the screen and pierced me in my personal life. 
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You know as I was watching this episode, I was a bit worried that the episode kinda romanticised life within a gang with the cool biker aesthetics and the unrealistic ‘coolness’ of it with the way Uo talked about it. But it wasn’t till the end of the episode that I understood that, that was the whole point. I think Uo went through a lot of shit (that’s not really delved into much detail with) when she was in the gang that she kind of has to look back at it with a certain type of levity. But also, it was how Uo saw the lifestyle back then.
But then as we got to later in the episode and the fights started to look more grittier and some of the things the delinquents were saying were a lot more harsher and darker, it just very subtly matches up with Uo slowly coming out of the fantasy without making a dramatic statement of it. 
We’ve seen the animators and storyboarders do a dramatic tonal change before (e.g. Hatori and Kana’s backstory) but I like this subtle change as it definitely matches up with Uo’s character and her thoughts back in that moment.  
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Hilarious additional scene! Earlier, I was a bit confused as to why these so called delinquent girls were falling apart because of the Sohma boys but I totally get it now. (Brain is moving slowly today) I hope there’s a scene of them and Uo next ep! And I want them to end up idolising Uo just to make a full circle :)
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I want Momiji to become part of the wannabe gangsters’ gang.
You know how in an earlier episode, Yuki and Kyo theorised that Tohru would probably invite in someone who was robbing the house and offer them tea?
Momiji is right there with her offering them snacks :3 (and also lowkey mentally confusing them cos let’s get real he knew what he was doing)
I just want the next ep - it felt so jarring when this ended! I really hope I’m right about this being a two-parter. Also, just a side note from watching the Funimation BTS vid, the amount of Yuki/Tohru shippers is astounding to me and I do wonder how many will be left when we eventually get towards the end of the series... I’m not ship shaming, I totally get it, Yuki is super charming and I love his dedication to Tohru’s happiness. But... there’s just something about that orange cat and that rice ball... that’s undeniable :) See you next weeeek.
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goindanswingin · 5 years
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Les Amis Webshows - Reviews!
So! There’s been a whole two new Amis webshows premiering this January! However, I’ve noticed not that many people are actually talking about them! New content, and we’re not yelling??
So, I’ve decided to give short reviews on their debut pilot episodes, as well as the first episodes of some other Les Amis webshows (I probably missed so many, feel free to add more if you know of them!) in order to maybe spread the word about some cool creators online as well as give y’all a lil more content to consume that isn’t just grim BBC Les Mis discourse atm
(I’ve reviewed them in the order they premiered)
1. Stories From Les Amies
This is a vlog story of the les amis with all the genders purposefully changed! Now this one has an awful lot of content to make up its plot, having premiered in 2013 and wrapped up with an HOUR LENGTH FILM at the end of 2014, so there’s a hell of a lot to digest here! The Enjolras behind this is actually also the author of TextingEnjolras/EnjolrasRising so the plot does bear some resemblance to that also! (Another piece of content I’d highly recommend if you’ve not read yet).
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But, to keep it fair, I’m going to stick with just the pilot episode! It’s set up like a big group skype call with our amis introducing themselves, where we are first introduced to their personalities, mostly led by Enjolras although Combeferre acts a beautifully sarcastic arbiter. The video quality isn’t excellent, but surprisingly, the audio quality is pretty great (for every character except Marius), with almost no background noise or fuzz.
Enjolras: All of us make up a society that we call the Friends of the ABC
Enjolras: *awkwardly nods and grins*
Enjolras: Which is actually a pun, because... ABC pronounced together sounds like the word abaissés, which means “lowly” or “abased...
Enjolras: So... it’s... it’s a pun.
I know I’m only reviewing pilot episodes to keep it fair, but I will say yes, the quality of the series absolutely does improve over time, and I would highly recommend giving it a go if you’ve never seen it before! You can find the whole series here.
2. Official Les Amis Vlog
Premiering at almost exactly the same time as number 2 on this list, the Les Amis Vlog is similar in terms of quality but different in style. This is as it says - a vlog channel, with divided playlists for each character in the Amis. Every character uploaded vlogs between 2013 and 2015 introducing themselves, answering questions, and making content on certain themes. 
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This one took me by surprise - I was very much underwhelmed by the camera quality and lack of plot, but once I started watching, I realised why the Les Amis vlog doesn’t have plot - it’s because instead of making up political issues and action, they actually discuss real politics - in the pilot episode, Enjolras actually talks about a real news article from Reuters and then goes on into an impassioned rant on public surveillance  - it’s kind of amazing.
Enjolras: I mean, you wanna hide your face for whatever reason? Well, congratulations! You’re now a potential t*rror*st for having stood in the way of the observational machine!
Obviously this one is much more about the characters than it is any sort of plot like we’ll see in some of our later series, but... these characters are by far some of the most convincing Les Amis I’ve seen! Particularly Enjolars - wow. So if that sounds like your kinda thing, check it out here!
3. Vines de l'ABC
A multimedia webseries that ran from 2016-2018, but mostly confined to Vines, this one in essence is similar to the Les Amis Vlog in that it is more character driven than plot driven - the different characters were all cast and then separately uploaded Vines (and occasionally YouTube videos) as well as answering questions to the main blog.
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The first “episode” is, as common for these webseries, a video of our Enjolras introducing Les Amis and his character, then being interrupted by a phone call. The quality is webcam quality, the sound pretty fuzzy, but I do think Dorian here makes a great Enjolras... more on that shortly! Overall, the quality of this first episode isn’t super relevant to the rest of the series though, because as is obvious by the name, it’s mostly comprised of amusing little vines.
*Tik Tok by Ke$ha plays*
Enjolras: Hello? Did you change my ring tone again? ...Again? Well, I mean, I'm trying to do the video... No, I mean, I'm actually in the middle of doing the video right now, you're on camera... No, no I don't know how to edit it out... I mean, does he have a concussion, or..? *sighs* ...How did I know he had a concussion.
Obviously vine is dead, but everything is available here - if this sounds like your kind of thing, definitely go check it out! There is TONS of content for your consumption here.
4. Barricade Boys
Next up is a comedy/parody show from NyxRising, an already established group of YouTube cosplayers who’ve made lots of similar shows previously. This means, for a start, that the production quality here is some of the best you’ll see - great audio and video quality, basic but good set design, great costumes.
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Now, let’s make it clear: if you’re looking for a brick accurate show, this is not the one for you. It’s a pretty ludicrous parody, with an unbelievably arsehole Enjolras with no notion of personal space, a Grantaire with weird sideburns and a crush so obvious it’s hilarious, a Marius so dumb he thinks he’s joining a “lonely hearts club” and a Courfeyrac so OOC that I don’t even know where to begin. 
But god damn, did this make me laugh out loud a good few times.
Enjolras: You do you, Grantaire. Nobody else will.
This one has a couple episodes out already, and I’d highly recommend if you want some laughs! You can find it here.
5. The Downtrodden
Aaaand... onto our January debuts! I’m super excited to give a review of the pilot episode of Shadow of the Tor’s “The Downtrodden”! 
One thing that stuck out to me immediately is that this might be the most diverse cast yet - we have multiple POC, and also a trans Enjolras - in both cases, there’s no self-congratulatory back-patting, but it’s made very clear and very casual, and it’s wonderful. Another point worth mentioning is that our Enjolras is the same Enjolras seen in Vines de l’ABC - and as I mentioned, I think Dorian is great at the role.
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The Downtrodden seems to be going for an enjoyable line between plotty and humorous, and so far I’m super excited to see where they take it. The audio and video quality is outstanding, though the cafe background noises could do with being toned down just a tiny bit (as there are occasionally character lines in the background that are a little drowned out), but overall it’s by far the most professional looking alongside Barricade Boys (which had to contend with far less characters!). One comment I will make, though nitpicky, is that unlike Barricade Boys, which moves extremely swiftly through its jokes, The Downtrodden is edited just a pace too slow in one or two scenes, meaning the comic timing falls a little off and the jokes don’t quite get the reaction they really deserve.
Grantaire: You get free coffee refills here if you’re part of a student group. I gotta make that loan last.
Cosette: Do you consider yourself a politically motivated person?
R: I barely even consider myself a person.
C: Oh. Are you alright?
R: Is anyone?
Surprisingly, one of my favourite characters in the pilot episode was Marius! I often find he’s overplayed to death, but in this he appears a little dim but genuinely charming, and he got some of the best laughs out of me. I’d be interested to know how well all the jokes landed with someone who isn’t a Brit, however, since I’m super sold on all these characters being British uni students (student poverty aesthetic and Oxfam shopping bags, goddamn!), and also love Courfeyrac for the same reason - he seems like your typical friendly but laddish uni type, which works perfectly for his character. Also, I own that mug he has.
One of the strongest points, and a very common issue I have with Les Amis webshows (and the 2012 movie NOT GONNA LIE), is losing track of who is supposed to be who - I had no such problem with The Downtrodden - everyone is introduced naturally, gets at LEAST a line or two, and is beautifully acted - go check out the pilot here!
6. The Les Amis Webshow
The last one on our list - the Les Amis Webshow premiered on the last day of January!
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First impressions of this webshow are: the most enticing hook yet straight from the beginning, and some of the worst sound quality.
After the introduction - structured as Marius speaking to us from the future - the pilot episode actually centers around a random film student coming up to Marius and asking if they can film him. Is this Cosette? Will we ever find out? Who knows, but for some reason Marius just takes it in his stride and lets this person follow him around, in what I can’t decide is a very weird move, or a very Marius move.
Jehan: Are you wearing your lanyard?
Marius: Yeah. Why? That’s what it’s for.
Jehan: (laughing) You simple little freshman!
Marius: *long pause*
Also Marius: We’re gonna get along great!
The editing is actually fun and a few shots seem to be going for something quite adventurous - I just wish the audio quality were better.
I like Enjolras so far - he seems very confident in himself and a little bit of a rich boy, and I’m really interested to see what they do with Marius, since this is the only webshow so far where Marius has been front and center instead of Enjolras - in that snippet at the start, he seems very anxious and weary - it’s very Empty Chairs at Empty Tables! Overall, this has the most “plot-y” vibe to its initial episode so far, and reminds me a lot of Stories from Les Amies, honestly. I’m very excited to see what they do with it, and am also euphoric at a REGULAR UPLOAD SCHEDULE unlike the other two which are currently running - Barricade Boys and The Downtrodden. Keep up with it every Thursday here!
Thank you so much to @starberry-cupcake for helping me compile this list!
highlight reel: @/SFLA who the fuck makes a feature length movie oh my god, the sheer levels of gay in BB, Marius’ super poshboy accent in TD (sorry if thats just how u speak Ethan), and best of all the German flag taking centre stage in tLAW - the european cynic in me is desperate to know why its there and hopes that you didn’t just mix up French and German flags lmao
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Ike Broflovski
Here he is, with his beady little eyes and his flapping head!
out of character info
Name/Alias: Alice 
Pronouns: She/Her 

Age: 17 

Join Our Discord: Yes my username is Alice #0567

Timezone: Central 

Activity: 9 

Triggers: Got nothing 

Password: Dildo 
Character that you’re applying for: Ike Moisha Broflovski 

Favourite ships for your character: Uhhh nothing really he’s a kid 

in character info
Full name: Formerly Peter Gintz although officially known now as Ike Moisha Broflovski 

Birthday: November 28th 

Sexuality, gender, pronouns: Homosexual, but in extreme denial. Male, He/Him 

Age and grade: 12, although he’s a Junior bc he’s a genius. 

Appearance: 
Ike is at an average height for his age, standing at 4'10. Ike didn’t get any of the Broflovski appearance traits, considering he was adopted. He has white skin, which sometimes has bruises on it from playing hockey. He has freckles under his eyes, which are fairly light as well. Ike has blue eyes, that often have a hint of mischief or arrogance to them whenever he’s causing trouble. Which is a lot. They are fairly big as well, giving off an innocence he doesn’t have. However it’s fairly useful for getting out of trouble. He has a big nose, something he’s kinda salty about. His lips are always slightly chapped, and almost always seem to be in a smirk. Ike has messy black hair, no matter how much he tries to tame it, its like a mop on his head. It drives Shelia crazy, but he really can’t do anything about it. He’s constantly battling it away from his eyes, and has too much pride to accept a bobby pin from Karen.
As for clothing, Ike’s style definitely changes occasion to occasion. He can most often be found in just a T-shirt and jeans, with red converse. He avoids sweaters like the plague because that’s something that’s associated with the rest of his family. His attire is also dependent on how hard he wants to try. If it’s on one of the days he’s not trying, Ike can show up to school in a large hoodie and sweatpants. Ike is the type of person who totally owns weed socks, and other meme related clothing. But makes it clear that he’s only wearing it for satire or ironic purposes. Ike is also not a fan of tight clothing, because he feels like it restricts him in his movements. 

Personality:
Ike can often be described as, well, an asshole. He’s arrogant, as he frequently boasts about his intelligence and isn’t afraid to flaunt it in the face of others or use it to intimidate. He’s largely self centered, thinking himself as the center of the universe. It’s his world, and everyone else is just living in it. He feels responsible to ‘educate’ people if they are ignorant in his mind. He likes to think he’s very mature for his age, and in a way he is, in the fact that he gets and understands a lot of adult issues and knows how to act appropriately in public. And doesn’t have 12 year old™ behavior. Ike is very petty and sarcastic, he doesn’t take criticism well and lashes out. He’s defensive to a fault. He’s also incredibly flirty, especially with girls. To overcompensate of course.
Ike is intelligent. There’s no other way to describe it. He likes books that test his knowledge, tv shows that expand his knowledge and enjoys intellectual debates. Ike is a child prodigy, and has common sense for days. He has a strong thirst for knowledge, and is ruthlessly ambitious to achieve his goals. He’s good at coming up with convoluted plans. He shoots for the stars and by god he’s gonna get there. Ike has a caring side to him that doesn’t get shown often. Although he hides it pretty well, he’s sensitive and gets his feelings hurt rather easily. He’s courageous and extremely brave as well as loyal. You know the kid that argues with the teacher and entertains (or annoys) the class? That’s Ike.
In short, Ike is a little asshole. But he’s an asshole with heart. 

History: (At least three paragraphs)
Ike was born in Canada, as Peter Gintz to Eliza and Harry Gintz. He was born during the Cola Wars, and since his birth family couldn’t afford to have a child they put him up for adoption. He was adopted by the Broflovski’s and has been part of their family ever since. He was frequently babied by his entire family, pampered and spoiled beyond his wildest dreams. Although they did place high expectations on him because he was such a genius. He grew up idolizing his brother, and cared deeply for him. A care that has carried on throughout his years even if it isn’t as obvious. Ike skipped many grades. Placing him in the Junior class in high school whenever he is a 12 year old.
Ike has been picked on a lot. For his intelligence, his Canadian looks, for being adopted, for being Jewish, basically anything. He’s gotten in trouble at school for getting into verbal fights with students or sassing off to teachers. He also began rebelling against his family and parents more and more. Becoming less family oriented and more career and intelligence oriented. Instead of joining the family for game nights and such, he’d be in his room studying or playing mind games. Ike spends his summers away at math and science camps, and does a ton of extra courses on the side. In constant pursuit of knowledge to further supplement his intelligence.
Ike is still a mamas boy though. Shelia still babies him, even though she put locks on his windows and doors as precautions. They are never in use. While he does get scolded, he never gets in serious trouble or grounded. He somehow manages to worm his way out of it with a smile and a few quick words. He has experimented with sex, drugs and alcohol. He does regularly take acid, and drinks wine. He’s a hardcore 12 year old that’s for sure. Ike’s relationship with his father is more rocky. He never forgave him for his skankhunt actions. Out of all the family, he’s the most distant from his dad. Although his dad does make efforts, Ike barely recuperates. Overall, Ike is distant from his family but still deeply cares about them in his own way. Oh yeah. And he’s still a Canadian Knight. Just saying.

Sample paragraph: 
The sounds of blasters and guns, as well as other kids voices pumped through his ears. His posture was hunched, as his gaze looked all over the TV. His mind worked a million miles per hour, he took a quick sip of his energy drink before getting right back into his groove. His team was compromised of idiots. He was used to it, though, and luckily he had enough brainpower to compensate for their shortcoming. “Matt, Thomas, Greg, flank left. I want Danny and Zach with me so we can go in from the back.” Ike ordered, his voice was high compared to the other deep voiced males.
“How come you get to be in charge?” Someone whined. Ike rolled his eyes before smirking. “I don’t know Johnny, maybe because my IQ is higher than your salary? Or maybe it’s because you’ve only gotten 6 kills while I had a 50 kill streak in the first five minutes of gameplay.” Ike said, his voice pompous. He heard laughter and other stereotypical gamer insults being thrown to Johnny. Ike didn’t care about the roast, as long as they followed him and they won, Ike didn’t care what they did. They were close to the heart of the battle, Ike could feel it in his veins. His foot tapped, his eyes widened as he got more and more into the gameplay. Then, came the attack he knew and prepared his team for.
After five minutes of fast and furious gameplay, Ike’s team had come out on top. He set down his controller and stretched, a smirk on his face. “Eat shit motherfuckers!” Ike yelled into the headset, his team mates cheered in agreement. Ike then heard heavy footsteps coming up the stairs and he groaned, knowing what was coming. He quickly turned off the headset and turned off the violent video game before picking up the thick book of quantum mechanics beside him. Simple stuff way below his level, but his mother couldn’t tell the difference between a square root and a square.
His mother barged into his room, her eyes set in a narrow glare. “Did I hear naughty language young man?” She asked, her hands on her hips. Ike’s eyes quickly widened in surprise, as if he could never do something so wild. “No mama, I would never use such filthy vocabulary.” Ike said, making his voice deliberately innocent. Ike tilted his head innocently. “But I heard Kyle playing a video game, I think he was using some vulgar terms.” Ike said, trying to hide the smirk on his face. His mother looked semi relived but also annoyed. “Of course! Thank you bubby.” His mother said, and Ike glowed from the compliment. That would have been enough, but Ike remembered Kyle had kicked him out of the living room while he was watching TV so he and Stan could watch something instead. Payback time. Ike made his face turned to curiosity. “Mommy, what’s a dildo? I heard Kyle talking about it earlier on the phone to his friends. Apparently he has a collection. Can I collect them too?” Ike said, the picture of innocence. His mother’s face grew in fury before she closed the door. He could hear her voice yelling his brothers name.
Ike laughed before picking up his headset and turning on the TV. “So? You assrammers ready for round two?” 

Headcanons: 
-His dream university is Oxford University, and hopes to get a doctorate in Astrophysics. 
-His best friends are Karen, Ruby and Firkle. 
-He has a crush on Firkle, although he’s in serious denial. 
-He’s a Republican, although he doesn’t support Trump. 
-He enjoys playing pranks on others. Especially his brother. 
-He’s a Rick and Morty fan. He’s not one of /those/ fans though. And actually spends time laughing at them.

Anything else: Nothing really.
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moiraineswife · 7 years
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For the character meme/ask thing: how about the head of the murder nerds - Kaz Brekker?
Listen dude, ‘head of the murder nerds’ is literally my favourite way of referring to Kaz in the history of ever god bless you for bringing this to me. Also yes, yes let’s talk Kaz...
general opinion: fall in a hole and die | don’t like them | eh | they’re fine I guess | like them! | love them | actual love of my life (i tried not to let this happen but it did anyway and now I have just accepted my fate) hotness level: get away from me | meh | neutral | theoretically hot but not my type | pretty hot | gorgeous! | 10/10 would banghogwarts house: gryffindor | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuffbest quality: he’s a crafty bastard and this comes in handy at times, you know... worst quality: *represses feelings to the point that they all basically vanish and he forgets that other people have them too and that they can be hurt* (okay, like, I know I listed this as ‘worst quality’ and theoretically it is if you’re talking about like...from a person POV from a character POV though...I kinda love it? And I love it so much I’m going to bore you with a long waffle about the head murder nerd you never asked for but are getting anyway: 
I enjoy the commitment to Kaz’s character/personality, frankly. I think it’s easy for characters (especially male characters) to be written in this sort of style, to the point that it’s probably a trope, bad boy on the outside with a heart of gold. Kaz doesn’t have a heart of gold, I might give him one of like...super rusty iron...with holes in it...but it’s definitely not made of gold.  
Kaz is a ruthless prick at the start and he’s a ruthless prick at the end and I for one appreciate that. I think....For the most part...what you see with Kaz, is what you get. (Obviously not on the Plots and Schemes part because there needs to be some air of mystery about him. He’s dramatic that way. It’s required for his aesthetic) But in the sense of ‘this is who and what I am; you don’t like it? I don’t care. Deal with it.’ Which is...Refreshing. There’s no hidden reason behind the ruthlessness, he’s not trying to cover anything up (not in the typical sense of ‘my cold, sarcastic exterior masks a tender bleeding heart I’m too afraid to admit to sense anyway) He just is. 
Which isn’t to say that he’s shallow or simple or boringly written in fact it’s the opposite. There’s an interesting relation between how starkly and simply Kaz is presented. In a lot of ways he’s one of the most simply black and white characters around. He’s deepened, he’s explained, he’s explored, he matures, he grows, he learns, he suffers, he triumphs, he experiences, but the core of who and what he is never really changes. Kaz Brekker is introduced to us as Dirtyhands, the Bastard of the Barrel, the monster wearing a boy’s skin and Kaz Brekker leaves us as Dirtyhands, the Bastard of the Barrel, the monster wearing a man’s skin. He’s never undermined, he’s never softened, his edges are never dulled for the sake of watering him down to make him more palatable. Kaz isn’t palatable, Kaz isn’t, arguably, all that likeable either and yet, and yet... 
I think it’s fascinating because, idk about anyone else I can only speak for me and the way I read these books, but I kept waiting for the transformation. I kept waiting for the moment of realisation. I kept waiting for him to shed his armour and prove to us all that he was really just a squishy, sappy sod deep down with issues he was masking with cold sarcasm. I kept waiting for the switch, the sleight of hand, the trick with him - and the trick was that there wasn’t one. He does care, he does feel, he is human (probably) but he’s still him.
 He’s still ruthless, still cold, still removed, still withdrawn and distant because that’s who he is. It’s who he’s always been, it’s a fundamental part of who he’s always going to be and that makes him interesting. Because I think one of the things authors enjoy doing is character building with a focus of starting with something old and creating something new. Something shinier. Something better. Something that fixes all the flaws it once had and ta-da! Perfect!!   
And dude I was waiting for this to come allll the way through CK. Because she’d set it up! We had everything we expect!! We had the broody, withdrawn, grumpy, traumatised, aloof sarcastic bastard male character; and we had the softer, warmer, female character and they were very obviously Love Interests, and they had Moments and Lines that were so obviously going to be paralleled later, we had, “I will have you without armour, Kaz Brekker. Or I will not have you at all.”  
I was ready. I was waiting. It was all there!! So obvious!! The armour was going to come off, torn off, shredded off, in a dramatic moment of Character Growth and Transformation and he was going to kiss her and it was going to be like: I am changed. I am a Good Man now, I am Better, you have made me better, you have made me realise what I want to be and I’m going to declare these feelings by kissing you in a dramatic fashion with a romantic sunset and some fancy explosions in the background. 
AND WE GOT APPROXIMATELY NONE OF THAT. ZERO. NIL. NOT A SINGLE SOLITARY SAUSAGE OF IT AND I LOVE IT. (we got some, fine, don’t get pedantic on me but it was nothing like what it was built up to be and that’s GENIUS. how does one sell a literal anti-climax and not only get away with it but making it literally perfect for both the characters and the ship. inspirational tbh) The thing is that way of working was too easy, would have been too rushed and far too...easy. This story is not easy. This story is hard. This story is having pretty much nothing to begin with then having even that taken from you and clawing your way back to something because dammit I have worked for this and sweated for this and bled for this and you will give it to me or so help me you will suffer me for denying me. Point is nothing is given; nothing is easy, and happy endings are...not always what we think they are. 
The Dramatic Romantic Sunset Kiss ending, while very fluffy and probably crowd-pleasing doesn’t entirely suit...either of these characters at this moment tbh. Because they’ve been through a lot and they have grown and they have changed and they are closer but...They’re not ready. And I think it...takes something to admit that. It takes something to let characters be who and what they are and not force them to be what you’d like them to be for the sake of a ship or a nice neat ending tied up with a bow that will make everyone happy. 
And I think that’s the thing I enjoy most about Kaz: that he refuses to be anything other than what he is. Kaz is cold and cruel and ruthless and flawed because these are flaws, flaws that stem from...a fairly rough childhood tbh. They aren’t little mars to be gently wiped away with the handkerchief held by the doting female love interest (which Inej...also conveniently refuses to be, bless her existence) and I like that they remain relatively intact by the end of it. 
His flaws aren’t argued away by the narrative, they’re not easily cured by the loving touch of a female love interest. They’re raw and they’re ugly and they’re present and they’re constant and they force you to accept him this way or not at all. They don’t get excused. They don’t get diminished. They don’t get gently brushed to one side because oh that was just a moment that made him a bit not nice and we don’t want to linger there. They are him, an aspect that has to be considered and counted and weighed when judging his character; it’s a package deal people, the novels just don’t let you cherry pick bits and pieces here and there, this is it, this is everything, all cards on the table, take it or leave it. 
Kaz Brekker is a monster. Kaz Brekker is cold and distant and withdrawn and cloaked in armour he’s not ready to remove yet that isn’t prised from him to try and discover some hidden golden heart beneath. There is none. There’s just cold, hard iron and bitter venom. What’s on the surface is what’s underneath too. And I love it. ship them with: Ineeeejjjj obviously. brotp them with: Alllll of the Dregs, actually, it’s all kind of fascinating?? The way he interacts with each of them.   needs to stay away from:....erm...himself?? About the only truly dangerous thing to him tbh. misc. thoughts: I, ahem, I think I’ve had...more than enough thoughts on Kaz for one day. Yes. Anyway. *gently sets the mic down and scuttles off* 
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