#i guess? mental health spoilers is a funny concept

[deadandphilgames]

A note from Daniel (new epilogue from You Will Get Through This Night)

Thank you for reading This Night. Writing this book in 2021, while sitting locked down in a lightless basement apartment for months, had a certain self-fulfilling irony that was not lost on me.

In many ways, I wrote this book for not only my past self that I wish could have known these things when I needed them most - but for the guy sitting in an incredibly uncomfortable, hunched, t-rex-esque position typing, that needed it right then. Like many of you, I thought those particularly fun couple of years were a temporary inconvenience, that I wouldn't have to age the book by diving into. And here we are. I hope you enjoyed that new chapter about resilience and whatever the hell a 'polycrisis' is. Turns out certain global events do have an additional effect on our mental health - it's understandable that you may try to power through it and pretend it never happened, but we all deserve to take whatever time we need to honestly process how life makes us feel. I hope you're doing alright. My journey of reflecting honestly on my own life experiences and lifestyle while writing was …like spontaneously punching yourself in the stomach. "Wow. I really live like this? That is apparently not conducive to a healthy mind. Oops. Guess I'll go touch some grass." I'm happy if that made this a more entertaining read occasionally.

Even now, I find myself continually re-reading the book in those small moments of first emotional reaction to situations where I now at least think "Wait - what was I supposed to do here? Right. Not catastrophise." If this is you - that is fine. You are not expected to perfectly memorise this book or retain all knowledge you hear in life. I know I don't. If you're ever sat next to me in the emergency exit aisle of a plane, know that you may be required to physically throw me out of the door in order to inflate the slide because I was busy during the briefing, imagining how my life would have been different if I actually had the nerve to dye my hair black that time in school. I am at peace with that.

It was honestly terrifying for me to try and mine the content of my life to try and actually illustrate advice for people that may really need it …for me to honestly look at the balance between joking about my mental health, and really getting real. Hey - if your attempt at opening up via some humour comes out a bit offensive, you still get points for at least putting it on the table. That's progress.

This is not a book about me. I am here just as an example of terrible behaviour that you have permission to have an inappropriate public transport snort at, and as a writer who has repeatedly not finished traditional 'self-help' or scientific study books for being dry, unrelatable and preachy. I just hope you found this moist, identifiable and accepting of all of your beautiful flaws. So many flaws. I often worried if any of the material was maybe obvious, or something you could stumble across on the second page of Google - then I had a small moment of honesty with myself contemplating my own ignorance, commitment to procrastination, attention span …and the fact that factually just 0.63% of all people searching online, ever bother clicking to the second page of results. If you already knew some of this, good for you. Honestly. You must literally be happy with yourself. I'm just looking in the mirror and trying to do something for the 99.37% of humanity that spend their lives never successfully researching how to not lay awake at night fantasising about their doom. Look forward to the upcoming pocket size book of 'offensively self-destructive jokes' by Dan - or 700-page memoir of my yet un-girthy, mostly unremarkable life so far if that's what you're really looking for.

Perhaps the most terrifying result of releasing this book into the world, has been coming face to face with those of you that have read it. For in these moments, all of my protective self-deprecating persona comes crashing down in an instant when someone says this book made them feel better. Hearing that this book was the first time they finished anything tangentially related to self-improvement, or that just one thing they read was a new perspective on a part of their life they needed, makes me feel my mission in life is already complete. Seeing it be recommended by bookstores amongst all the other choices, hearing that people have shared it with their therapists or had it suggested to them by a professional, is an unbelievable seal of approval that I appreciate. I am so inarticulably grateful to have been given the opportunity to do anything that could make your life easier, more peaceful, more enjoyable. I've met people who annotated this book with post-its, told me they listen to audiobook exercises on their commute - and even a few people that have had illustrations tattooed onto them as a symbolic reminder of a message.

All of this puts that year of typing like some kind of infinite monkey at a typewriter into perspective. I'd do it all again. Mostly. It has been the greatest privilege of my life to be the guy whose name is printed on this book, and I just hope that reading it helped you, as much as writing it helped me.

Love and good luck.

- Dan

#ywgttn #ywgttn spoilers #i guess? mental health spoilers is a funny concept #love and good luck <3333 #also. look forward to a 700 page memoir. dont play with me like that daniel #dan and phil #daniel howell

[toodles-doff]

Alright, so it's been 5 months since I beat Chronicles and I'm somehow still hyperfixated really minor aspects of G2-3. It's like 3 am where I am, so forgive me for anything that makes no sense. This case has been literally keeping me awake at night; it's not even my favorite in the duology, so idk what's up with that.

Hidden for spoilers, even though this is a 5-year old game...

So I play through the case and I'm like "hehe funny robot man go brrrrrrr" like most people, I suppose. Really fun character with nice animations and oddly endearing character quirks. Peak witness right there.

Then I get to the concept art in the extras and Nuri's comments are basically like "yeah so he's like that because of the whole trauma thing"

This series is known for having all these kooky characters in them, and they really went and made one of them be quirky for a 100% serious in-universe reason. And they don't even mention it in game, just in some limited side content?? Like fine, the animations are cool and they fit the character quite nicely, but tbh it just makes it a bit more unsettling on rewatch to know where the concept came from.

So... uh... does that not feel weird to anyone else? I spent the last segments of the case amusing myself at what is essentially some guy's ptsd-related verbal tic thing.

This omission of this fact from the main game also feels odd... wouldn't something like this strengthen the motive of the character in question? It seems like it would contribute pretty heavily to the idea that Genshin Impact fucked him up.

To be a bit more general, I feel like G2-2 and G2-3 kind of downplay the mental health issues that come up in some of their key witnesses..? But then they go and treat a certain G2-4 character completely seriously. It feels weirdly inconsistent.

But I suppose that it could be argued that "unsettling" was the intent with the design though. In which case, good job, you did it.

But Vigil didn't try to murder someone so idk i guess the other two deserve it?

#the great ace attorney #tgaa #that being said i firmly believe this character deserves to be mocked by children every time he passes by public park because he is a dick #please forgive me #also til tumblr lets you drag whole paragraphs to rearrange them #good job for that i guess

[luki-fanfic]

Helluva Boss 5: The Harvest Moon Festival

Huh, Helluva Boss usually drops by mid month. Wonder why this episode is taking so long to put toget-

*Episode airs*

0_0

Oh. That’s why.

I’ll admit it, my interest in HB was waning. Episode 3 and 4 honestly didn’t do much to keep me interested. Spring Broken had a lot of plot and writing issues, and I felt the concept could have been better executed. C.H.E.R.U.B was more solid, but did have some issues, and just wasn’t that fun to watch.

Harvest Moon on the other hand? Oh boy, now there’s an episode. I am, if you’ll pardon the pun, back on this horse. World building, the action scenes, incredible animation, relationship development of the bad kind, more worlds, interesting characters! It gives us so much to work with.

Spoilers abound, so read carefully.

That said, I will start this with my biggest complaint – and it’s one I’ve had for several episodes, but this one really rammed it home due to the ‘sneak peak’ clip we had of the opening. In the black and white boards, the swearing was limited, and honestly the writing was pretty witty. Then we got the finished product – certain lines were missing, and several words had been replaced with random swearing. Considering what the scene was, it felt like the finished product was a step down – I really wish the scriptwriters would realise random swearing isn’t always funny, and they’ve given proof that their writing is snappy as is.

Anyway...onto the actual episode. We learn that I.M.P seems to be building up their business as Blitzø has 15 clients looking for a kill. Considering he had to do a sale to get a multiple kill, and the other episodes show him basically going out straight after getting the job, they’re clearly building up a name for themselves.

This is further shown with the arrival of Striker, who compliments his decision to go into business for himself, since most Imps don’t. This is new information, since we’ve seen Wally attempt to start his own business – although clearly it wasn’t going well – but if Striker is to be believed, most companies in Hell, even Imp City, don’t have Imps as the owners. Maybe it’s a financial capital thing, maybe it’s partially Hell’s racism, or maybe Imps just generally prefer to follow, which Striker seems to allude later. It’s hard to say with the information we’ve got at this point, but it does put I.M.P in a slightly different light – and probably explains why Blitzø is fairly incompetent when it comes to running the whole thing. He has literally no one to ask or use as an example, and the society he lives in generally assumes he’s going to fail by the nature of him being an Imp.

In fact, even though Blitzø owns I.M.P, he is still completely dependent on Stolas and his Grimoire. Without it, I.M.P is screwed – the reason they’re even at the Harvest Festival is because they can’t work. And that’s what Striker tells him in the final act. Their society has made sure that he can never truly be successful on his own merit, no matter how hard he tries.

I’ve seen some debate on whether what Striker told Blitzø was true or just an attempt to let his guard down. It’s hard to say, because Striker says and does some very conflicting things, but I’m going to believe it was genuine. Why?

He lets Millie and Moxxie live to have leverage over him. He does insult Blitzø to their faces, but why would he need leverage once his job was done?

When Moxxie learns the truth, he doesn’t even try to talk him round, just kill him. Millie is also tossed to the side – possibly because neither of them are ‘superior.' Blitzø gets a full on speech about their superiority and how much he respects him, even if he’s hiding a knife in his tail for if he can’t talk him round.

When he has Blitzø on the ground at his mercy, he doesn’t mock him. Instead, he tells him he genuinely thought they’d be a good team. He had the advantage, but doesn’t take the chance to continue the insult.

Like most Imps, Striker seems to dislike the demon royalty, but at the end of the day, is also working for one (and can I say that twist was brilliantly well done? It made SO much sense but I honestly didn’t see it coming). What is his end goal? Is he envious that Blitzø has some kind of power of Stolas while he has to be obedient? Is he aiming to kill Stella once Stolas is down? Maybe opening an assassination business to take out anything Overlord and above? We just don’t know.

And with that, we’ll step off this train of thought to speak about something else very important in this episode. Stolas. Specifically his relationship with Blitzø, and precisely how wrong it is.

I admit it, I future-shipped them, especially thanks to the Instagram (which become a bit of a bait and switch when the insta-accounts were declared ‘non-canon’). I acknowledged that the relationship was problematic and needed some serious work on both sides before it could really be a functioning relationship, but this episode hammered home exactly how much needs to happen in a way the other episodes didn’t. The pilot and Murder Family treated Stolas as a gag, and then Loo Loo Land made us all care about him and his actions. But Harvest Moon showed the other side of it, and I'm not sure the ship can realistically recover.

Stolas considers Imps as inferior, to a ridiculous degree, and Blitzø is no exception. He has absolutely no respect for Blitzø, and holds all the power in the relationship. We saw this a little in the previous episodes, but they were either alone, or Blitzø was working for him, and surrounded by people aware of the relationship. His actions could be somewhat explained away.

In Harvest Moon, Stolas proves he treats Blitzø this way even in public. Blitzø has very obvious issues regarding his name, so Stolas persistently using a nickname and treating him the way he does around people who aren’t aware, says a lot about how much Stolas doesn’t care about Blitzø’s opinions. Even if Blitzø does have some feelings for him – which I do suspect due to his panicked attempt to explain it as transactional. If he didn’t care, he would probably find it easier to explain. At the same time though, he’d be happier if he could get the book without the monthly visits, because what he has with Stolas isn’t a relationship, no matter what Stolas tries to pretend. Any feelings Blitzø develops puts him even further under his control.

Part of me wonders if the relationship evolved between the pilot and the first episode in planning, and that’s why we have such a disconnect between the Insta relationship and the canon one. I’m really hoping the series addresses it in the future.

Finally, lets talk about that final reveal. Stella has hired a hitman to kill Stolas – even armed him with two angel-tech guns.

(Which, also finally gives us confirmation that Imps/Hellhounds/Succubi can die from conventional weapons, but the higher ranked native demons need angel weaponry to off them).

Stella is also confident enough to scream it over the dinner table. Stolas either doesn’t care, or isn’t paying attention – if he doesn’t care, if definitely puts his motives regarding the original invite up in the air, but if he isn’t paying attention? Then it’s another point in the anti-Stolas tab.

That said, this scenario does ask a question. Why don’t these two divorce? Stolas is clearly not in love any more, and living together clearly isn’t doing Octavia’s mental health any favours if she’s literally hiding behind her music rather than interact with her parents. He should be the first to offer a divorce, but he hasn’t brought it up. And if he hasn’t, maybe the reason Stella hasn’t is because they can’t?

It’s generally assumed that the two of them have an arranged marriage, and that Stella’s anger at his relationship with Blitzø is due to his status more than the cheating. But then wouldn’t it make more sense to hire a hitman to kill Blitzø rather than Stolas? Choosing to kill Stolas, even if it would hurt Octavia, suggests it’s the only option left to her.

I’m guessing we’ll (finally) get some Stella development next time Striker appears, and get an idea of what makes her tick. But for now, I suspect the two of them regularly had lovers on the side, but kept it discreet until this point. Stolas refusing to keep his relationship with Blitzø quiet is causing untold damage to their name and status. Stella wants rid of a man who not only doesn’t love her (if he ever did), but is constantly humiliating her for not hiding his much lower class lover (which we know by this episode he doesn’t even attempt), and since the rules of Hell for demons of their status doesn’t allow divorce (or perhaps their arrangement doesn’t), assassination it is.

Hell, maybe the plan was to kill Stolas, and frame Blitzø for it. Striker clearly knew about their relationship before they met (which should have been a red flag now that I thing about it), so Stella probably mentioned him. It would also put the recruiting on another level, if Striker actually did get Blitzø involved at the final moment and teamed up.

Oh, and as a final amendment? If that angel-gun that Striker left behind is not now in the hands of I.M.P and becomes a key piece when Asmodeus, Mammon and the real Fizzarolli show up? I will be very disappointed.

#spoilers #Helluva Boss #not fanfiction #helluva boss spoilers #Also adored the 'freelance' jokes Millie had to field #But can we maybe tone down the Moxxie torture? #It's only funny if he gets a win every now and then #Also #First episode starring Stolas where Blitz doesn't break a phone

[twilightknight17]

So I fell asleep last night before I could make the post, but I got P5 Scramble yesterday and I’m having a blast so far. ^_^

I’m probably going to go through it the same way I did my Royal playthrough, so if you don’t want to be spoiled, don’t click through on these posts!

Before we start, I just want to mention that I don’t really know anything about the story. Somehow I’ve managed to avoid spoilers for an entire year except for a few small things.

I do know the identity of (who I assume is) Kyoto’s Jail Monarch. (Monarch is kind of a weird, formal word. I think I liked Jail King better. Or... Warden? Warden might have been the best choice.) ANYWAY, I think I know their identity, and by extension, I have a vague idea of why Shadow Joker exists. Other than that... You’re getting speculation and bullshit untainted by later plot revelations. XDDD

I did find it funny that when I booted the game up, I got a “No save data found, unable to start game” message. Like... no shit, PS4, it’s a brand new game. But the little starting tutorial fight was cool, and I liked the opening movie!

The police briefing was...interesting. It’s good to see them actually being somewhat logical? Like... considering everything that happened the year before, it makes sense that they’d assume this is the Thieves again. They have no way of knowing that there’s no way to access Palaces anymore. This isn’t really the Thieves MO, though. Except for the guy who confessed to document tampering. The author shredding his work for no reason and the guy streaking through the criminal justice headquarters don’t seem like they did anything wrong. Those seem more like psychotic breakdowns.

But... I guess we don’t know if the police ever knew anything about Black Mask, or if Shido was convicted on only real-world crimes and not the metaverse hits he ordered. I wonder if that’ll get elaborated on.

Zenkichi’s introduction was him laughing at the streaking guy in the middle of this Serious Police Meeting, so I think I’m gonna like him a lot. ^_^

Anyway, the “higher-ups” really want this case closed, according to “Commissioner Kaburagi”, who I already don’t like. If you’re the police commissioner, Makoto really would be a better choice, holy shit. She’s already prepared to go after Akira, who is the only Thief they know the identity of, so I guess that’s fair. But still. Has he not been falsely accused of enough for a lifetime?

Although... if you’re gonna look up all his life details, can you maybe... share some? Just a few things? Hometown? How are his parents? Anything?

*

Coming back to Leblanc was cute. Got some Trickster’s Maze vibes from the initial text conversation where they were talking about how people kept not responding to texts, but I think it’s all good. Love that the Sayuri is still on the wall, and that Morgana’s been home with Akira.

Naming the app “Emma” is never going to stop being hilarious to me, because reasons.

Y’know, Atlus, this would work a lot better if he could like...respond to their curiosity. At least these dialogue options seem to suggest that talking things out with his parents went well. Even “I missed you” isn’t inherently negative. He’d miss them either way.

.......so when my boyfriend gets back from his soul-searching vacation, he’ll be welcomed back with open arms, right, Ryuji? Right?

Meanwhile, for summer break plans, Yusuke wants to go to Kyoto for a month-long art tour. Unless...

Never change, dear. Never change.

Nice of Sojiro to water my plant and keep my room from drowning in dust, but he really couldn’t have replaced the bedframe with literally anything other than the plastic storage crates? XD The attic looks so empty and lonely without the shelves of trinkets and plushies, and the TV.

So my reaction to this next part was literally, “LAVENZA, IT’S BEEN LESS THAN 24 HOURS”. X’‘‘D Akira really can’t catch a break. But Lavenza’s dialogue sounded actually sad that he was being dragged into this again. And she’s promised repeatedly that she’s going to be there for him. It’s sweet, even though my room is still a prison and she’s still using torture equipment. Iron maidens, Lavenza, really??

I’m a little concerned that Igor’s not around, though. Lavenza did the dream/reality/mind/matter speech instead. Where is he? I know he’s never around for spinoffs but considering my headcanons I’m very curious now. And why didn’t he like... tell Morgana that Lavenza said ruin is coming again? Even if we don’t count thirdsem events, Morgana still knows that he’s Hope, and he still has a bond with the Velvet Room. Talk to your cat damn it.

Oh no, she’s cute and Alice-in-Wonderland themed. I’m doomed.

She called it her “EMMA keyword” and I immediately blurted “what? keyword??” and then everything went directly to Hell immediately. Keyword was the key word, I guess. X’‘‘‘DDD

And you can tell it’s been six months, considering that these nerds got caught almost immediately. And got their hands bound. And got dragged to the throne room and forced to kneel!

...I’m doomed.

Someone at Atlus looked directly at this fandom and all the fanart of the interrogation and said, “Yeah, they’d be into that.” XD Steppy steppy. At least she’s not a rapist like Kamoshida, but jeeze, we keep getting beaten up and thrown in the dungeon by royalty. All we need is a princess and we’ve got a whole royal family!

Although, I suppose the prince didn’t bother with a dungeon. XD

I think it’s interesting that apparently the guards tried to take our Desires and failed. I guess being a persona-user means your mental state is stable enough that something like that can’t manifest.

Oh no, she’s cute. I love her. Another for the collection of Joker’s baby siblings. This is number... 5? She kind of reminds me of Jose, a little. I’ll be interested to see what she is, since she’s got amnesia right now. She can’t be just a straight AI.

But if she’s Yald’s mom, I’m also going to be majorly weirded out.

I really like the gameplay? It’s so interesting to see how the characters move and fight when they’re not limited to turn-based attacks. And I like being able to jump to different points and use them to ambush enemies. I don’t fully understand all of it yet, and it’s hard for me to keep an eye on things like status ailments and my teammates because everything is so chaotic, but I’m sure I’ll get it.

I did die to a miniboss, and when I hit “return to checkpoint”, it gave me the prompt to select a language for the voice acting again. I dunno what was up with that. X’D And I’m baffled by the concept that you can just leave the metaverse and come back and it restores all your health and stuff. No penalty. Time doesn’t pass. You didn’t waste a day. Have the kids finally learned that we are capable of entering and exiting more than once on the same day? Hallelujah.

...this boy is angry that we have to deal with the Jails instead of having a BBQ feast. Never change, Yusuke.

If you go by the crepe shop in Shibuya, Morgana still doesn’t think you’re a crepe person. I’m so tired, Morgana. It’s also a bit weird and forced that Iwai and Takemi are both out of town. We couldn’t have seen at least one of them? I know we’re not gonna be able to use those shops when we’re on the road, but we could worry about that then.

(Disturbingly easy to return a gold bar that you apparently bought off the dark web. Omg. That was hilarious.)

AND THEN YOU GET UP THE NEXT DAY AND ZENKICHI IS JUST IN YOUR HOUSE? SITTING IN THAT CHAIR? That is not the “detective chair”, sir, that is my boyfriend’s chair, and you need to move. At least he likes the curry, but jesus fuck. Sir, I have unresolved trauma of adults coming into my house to snoop into my business. Get out of my house. X’D

You give me a detective sitting in my boyfriend’s chair and then immediately send me to a taping of the same show in the same studio where I first met him. God, P5S, you’re trying to kill me.

Alice clearly knows that giving out the keyword is doing something. She’s being very deliberate about this. But I don’t think she’s actually aware of the Jail. Love that she’s so arrogant that she can’t imagine that Akira just... didn’t use the keyword, and that’s why she can’t control him.

So I guess the Jail Monarchs are called such because they’re imprisoning other people’s shadows in their distortions. So these are people that want control over something to the point that it distorted their worldview. Part of me wants to go off on a ramble about how this relates to Mementos or Apathy Syndrome, but I’ll wait and do that when I have more information. I’ve got some more of the dungeon to do, and I cannot wait to see Alice’s boss fight.

I’m having so much fun. I really missed these kids; they’re grea--

.......I hate these children. X’‘‘‘‘DDDD

#Li plays P5Scramble #still refusing to call it ''Strikers''

[gateau-chocolat]

some final crash landing on you thoughts

(spoilers through the end of the series!)

-This is totally another one of those shows where I don’t really have anything substantial to say because I just really enjoyed it!  Good all around!

-I would say my biggest impression of the show is that it felt like it was written by someone who knew exactly what the viewers wanted to see and just gave it to them?  Lots of romantic and funny moments, relatively little time spent on really drawn out cliffhangers or other tiresome things. 

-Like....was it a sensitive and insightful portrayal of the lives of North Korean citizens? No!  Was it fairly ridiculous at times?  Yes!  But I enjoyed it and it made me feel some feelings. 😭

-I think I’ve only seen Son Ye-jin in Something in the Rain, and I somehow haven’t seen Hyun Bin in anything, but I thought they were both really good in this show both individually and together. 

- The last episode went out in true Crash Landing on You style: with a startlingly large amount of people getting shot to death 

-But seriously: Everything about the parting scene at the border??? The concept??? The acting???? The way it was all filmed and edited??????? 😭💓😭💓😭💓

-The scene with the messages and cutting back and forth between SK and NK was a really lovely connection to the opening credits. ❤️

-Also the final scene (the first final scene? before the kind of epilogue parts) was just *kisses fingers*

-The one false note of the finale imho was Seung-jun dying(?)?  This is kind of bad, but I almost feel like that character and his relationship with Dan like....weren’t built up enough to warrant a big tragic ending? (If that makes sense lol??) Also, in a show where basically every other plotline worked out RIDICULOUSLY well, it felt kind of weird that that one character would just...die? Especially since there wasn’t really anything about it that made it feel like karma or much-needed redemption or anything like that? 🤷‍♀️ Idk, it’s very imho and it didn’t really bother me much one way or another in the end, but I spent the entire last episode waiting for the reveal that he was alive and then was kinda confused when it never came. 

-Who in this show is the worst at their job: The “so I guess u have like 7 different serious mental health problems, try sightseeing or something idk 🤷‍♀️” therapist from the early flashback scene, or the ambulance guy in ep 16 who was sitting there just chilling as his critically wounded patient pulled off his oxygen mask, spoke for several seconds, and then passed out lol.

-This happened with Mr. Sunshine too but idk why Netflix doesn’t subtitle English dialogue!  Especially since the English dialogue often has the worst sound quality! :(

#crash landing on you #kdrama

[bl-reviews]

Killing Stalking: a review

image sources for banner: lehzin/koogi

To start off, as this is my first post on this blog, my reviews are precisely just that, it’s how I feel and my thoughts about this series and all the other series that I’m going to review (this is also just for fun!!). I might be a bit late for this (even though it recently finished?), but this feels like a good start.

THIS IS ALSO VERY SPOILER HEAVY SO IF YOU HAVEN’T READ KILLING STALKING COMPLETELY, PLEASE STOP NOW!

I originally started reading this when it came out and from the start, it took me aback with the concept, since at the time I was about 16, but I ended up not finishing it and only originally got through half of the second “season” of the comic, but I picked it back up and reread from the beginning in one sitting about a week ago.

It was a goddamn trip. The art, beautiful. The story, interesting. The after feeling. An absolute, and very big oof. The story itself with all the twists and turns and reading as both Bum and Sangwoo progressively add on to their insanity because of each other is a good punch to the stomach.

The ending is what’s still sticking with me, and there’s a good reason why. The buildup to both Sangwoo and Bum’s demise is most certainly great, after everything they went through together, but I have some feelings about all of it, specifically about Bum’s death. I’m going to put it simply: I don’t think Bum should have died. Controversial, I know, but this is why I believe that: Bum went through, well a lot (both of them did, and that’s beside the point), and the fact that he was actively a victim from before the webcomic even started is what sits wrong with me. Bum was manipulated in more ways than one by Sangwoo, from killing three people to believing that he’s “in love” with Sangwoo and many more. Quite honestly, I sympathize with Bum, as I see it, Bum could have healed and actively gotten help once Sangwoo was gone, even if it meant that he wouldn’t have actively been able to do much in society afterward because of the mental health stigma in South Korea, but he deserved his own slice of what normality feels like. I know not everything needs a happy ending, especially Killing Stalking, I never expected a happy ending for the webcomic, but I think Yoon Bum deserved some sort of peace and justice after the events of Killing Stalking. Yoon Bum getting help doesn’t mean a happy ending, it means he’s on a long path to recovery after traumatic events, which can lead to a sort of more open ending, leaving the reader to decide and interpret how they think Yoon Bum would live his life with help, instead of well, hallucinating, walking into traffic and getting hit by a  c a r.

Now you’re thinking “What about Sangwoo?”: fuck him. Honestly, I believe he got what he deserved. Getting burned severely in your childhood home and then dying in a hospital, calling out for someone he “loved”, or I guess the only person he had left and then dying? Perfect *chef’s kiss*, love it. Sangwoo almost had a more fucked up childhood than Bum, you know, with his mom trying to kill him several times, his mom cheating on his father right in front of his face, his father becoming abusive, being blamed for his father’s death. The list goes on! Sangwoo became the way he was directly because of his mother and how she treated him and raised him, a good old “nature vs nurture” scenario. The only way that I appreciate Sangwoo as a character is for his dumbassery and I thought he was a little funny, but that might just be because I’m desensitized to this stuff. 

Sangwoo’s “relationship” with Bum is something that bothered me too. As someone who is in the LGBTQ+ community, their relationship scared the absolute hell out of me. It is by far the worst representation of a gay relationship, which of course is part of the point of this webcomic, but still. If I had been more gullible while reading this, I’m sure that when things were going “well” for the two of them I would have been very ship heavy for them and enjoyed more ship content (now it’s just memes of their relationships that I enjoyed, specifically tik tok cosplay memes of it), but I didn’t because I knew from the very start that their relationship wasn’t healthy and not something that should be wished for, so for anyone who would question “Do you support this abuse trip of a webcomic?” No. I don’t support the abuse in this webcomic, but what I do support about the webcomic is the compelling story and the gore.

To continue talking about their relationship, let me bring up Sangwoo’s sexuality since I’ve seen a lot of back and forth between other readers about Sangwoo being straight. I knew he was straight from the beginning, that might sound bad, but it’s true. I knew there was no way in hell Sangwoo was gay, it wasn’t about how he was drawn, or anything, it was how he acted towards several characters that set it in stone for me that he was indeed very straight. That brings it to “What about the NSFW scenes between Bum and Sangwoo?”. The answer is simple, it’s not hard to fake things, especially when you’re a good actor like Sangwoo was, motherfucker had everyone around him fooled about who he was as a person! Sangwoo was even hesitant to go down on Bum, which is an obvious sign, at least to me. It was all to play to Bum’s fantasy of Sangwoo and we all should know it, especially since he said directly to Bum’s face that he wasn’t gay and that he imagined Bum as a woman when they had sex. I understand where the confusion can come from, but you don’t need love or anything really to fuck someone of any gender or sexuality and have seen several occasions where straight men pretend to be gay and this is another example of something like that.

Overall, Killing Stalking is a great read if you can stomach it, but is terrible with representation for the LGBTQ+ community. Despite most of my thoughts being negative about, well a lot of the series, I really liked it, especially for the writing and the art style. Killing Stalking is going to stick with me for a long time and I’m glad it will because it can open some good conversations about a lot of things for people who have read the series.

Now that you’re at the end, go ahead and send in asks and start up conversations about my thoughts or your own thoughts! 

#killing stalking #oh sangwoo #yoon bum #killing stalking review #boy love #bl-reviews #alex.txt #review

[jiwontiddy]

100 Reasons to love Kim Hanbin (iKON B.I)

1. had a mental breakdown during mix&match and ran away to go to Busan but he didn't have enough money so he ended up at a park and stayed there until yg staff members picked him up (plus yunhyeong had a mental breakdown too and started crying because of him)

2. I just wanted to escape from all of this

3. did mix&match while doing smtm3

4. loves his little sister so much

5. he said when hanbyul was born every single day of my life was filled with happiness

6. made his mother a bouquet of flowers for parents' day and decorated it with money bills lmao

7. learned how to professionally arrange flowers (we love boyfriend hanbin oof)

8. 'iKONIC is my life' 🤧💞🤧💖🤧💘

9. crazy work ethic

10. works 24/7 never takes a break

11. producing music is a type of hobby for him he doesn't see it as work

12. his studio is basically his second home

13. he stays there sometimes over night and doesn't go to sleep

14. you'd think he'd have health problems because of his lack of sleep but he's perfectly healthy 🙏🏼

15. except for that one time when he collapsed at the airport after being at the studio w friends and not getting enough sleep even tho they had to catch a flight at 7 am

16. you need to sleep when you die - Kim Hanbin 2018

17. is really reckless tbh

18. but a great leader overall he really does lead the group well

19. chanwoo and mino etc. were really scared of him but now he's changed and is less intimidating

20. unless they're recording or at dance practice 💀💀💀

21. expects everyone to be on time for practice but is the last one to arrive because he's still asleep

22. "if the camera wasn't here you would've gotten hit" actual words that came out his wonderful mouth (lets pray for chanwoo)

23. [finishing their insta live] Yunhyeong, "we have to get back to practicing" Junhoe, "we have to get yelled at again by Hanbin"

24. a very determined bean

25. takes his job veryyy serious and doesn't take it for granted

26. he's basically in charge of producing/composing and writing all of iKON's songs 👍🏼

27. he's the mastermind behind Love Scenario

28. tbh he deserves award for best producer and composer

29. has never been in a relationship but still writes the best break up songs

30. love scenario, killing me and goodbye road are all break up songs which makes analyzing the lyrics so much more interesting since they all cope with a traumatic break up in a different way and it shows different stages of getting over someone

31. h i s l y r i c s g o d d a m n

32. We were in love, we met and became a memory that can’t be erased. It was a commendable melodrama, a pretty good ending. That’s all I need. I loved you.

33. Freedom and new relationships but behind that is an empty heart. On this dark night, I’m alone again. Her existence is such a big part of my world. I try but I can’t take her out of it. Once I did take her off, I broke down. But I can’t tell myself to be ready to die, it's killing me.

34. I've loved you to death, but at the end I did not die.

35. Just go, back to him. It was wrong from the beginning, only I became the fool. You were never once mine.

36. that one time when he saw a couple during a fansign and called them out hE WAS SO BITTER LMAO

37. double b......that's all

38. "Bobby oppa looks dangerously attractive without glasses...wow man"

39. he's such a sweet heart to kids omg

40. a die hard animal lover

41. he is SUCH A GOOD DANCER FRICK THAT MIX AND MATCH STAGE WHERE HE WORE THAT RED BARET IM STILL NOT OVER THAT

42. tho he said he doesn't like dancing

43. but he still choreographed amazing dances during their survival days like how can one be so talented??

44. he's dumb but at the same time really smart if that makes sense??

45. like he doesn't know who koreas first president is but he knows who the army general was that led the korean army to win the battle in incheon for the 38th parallel line ?????? WTFSJSHSHSH

46. a girl group enthusiast

47. but can't do the dances even if his life depended on it (except for heartshaker and recently red flavor)

48. he said he doesn't pick favorites but if he had to they'd be Seulgi and Dahyun

49. he writes poems when he feels emotional

50. he usually gets his inspiration to write songs from movies, dramas, books or poems

51. his muse is actress Kim Jiwon he's so whipped for her

52. his favorite scene from one of her dramas is Fight My Way ep. 7

53. it shook him so much that he wrote a whole song about it

54. he wrote like 10 songs inspired by her

55. his gf is gonna be the luckiest girl alive let me tell you that

56. he rarely cries but got emotional recently at one of their concerts :(((

57. he's super close with Jinhwan

58. he wrote songs with G-Dragon, Tablo and Psy

59. he co-wrote whistle by Blackpink and empty by Winner

60. he fell during his second round in smtm it was so cute but so funny

61. his song Be I was the first smtm song to go down in history by charting at #1 in melon

62. he could have passed easily in my opinion he had such an amazing crowd control like they were going crazy over him

63. also Swings didn't like him because he was an 'arrogant ass' but after he realized that Hanbin was kind of experiencing a crisis he felt sorry and said if he'd knew he had protected him from the start

64. had to censor his own fans at a concert

65. one and only fuckin one and only🚶🏽‍♀️🚶🏽‍♀️

66. he should be working on his solo album but instead he's out here releasing ikon's 3rd album

67. he has this habit of patting his left chest (above his heart) whenever he's nervous

68. never forget when he used a translator app to get closer to Japanese girls

69. whenever they have a comeback he usually turns off his phone for the next 24 hours so he doesn't see how the song charts

70. he and the boys actually don't care about charting at all

71. [NO SHADE I REALLY LIKE MOMOLAND] he could have produced a similar song to LS to use the hype around it like momoland did but instead he wrote Killing Me me which is more aggressive and totally the opposite of LS

72. he really likes rice soup uwu

73. he usually does vlives on channel+ since he's more comfortable there

74. one time he accidentally started a live on their regular channel and fans started pointing it out and he immediately went into panic mode LMAOOO

75. he is such a perv sometimes i can't

76. had a minor crisis when Bobby was in the US and had no one to cuddle

77. he's such a bean who deserves all the love in the world

78. got his ass whooped by Jinhwan for getting a tattoo (we love a rebel)

79. he suffers from rhinitis hence why yg gifted him an air purifier lol

80. has a producer team which consists of YG trainee Millennium (aka Raesung), Seung (and I guess One)

81. Seung is an artist, a composer, celebrity and a jobless guy (his words not mine)

82. Hanbin as a hyung and role model for Raesung: a concept

83. Chanwoo is more scared of Hanbin during recordings than he is from staying in a haunted house with a ghost let that sink in

84. 'ladies first' no matter what

85. cried during the final of win:who's next but was still able to crack a smile for Team A

86. the fact that Hanbin comforted Mino even though Mino was supposed to comfort Hanbin

87. got a turtle in japan and called him Michelangelo

88. forgets to eat sometimes

89. his name is B.I not BewhY

90. says he doesn't get scared easily but he does

91. king of spoilers

92. but hates it whenever the other members spoil something

93. fun fact: he made the guide for Love Scenario around May 2017

94. "Everything is in english, I can't speak english" also Hanbin "Turn that shit on" "so savage, so tight"

95. has a strict concept for his Instagram: black and white only

96. did a whole vlive with a dog filter on uWU 97. loves to hike

98. basically everything he does is so cute

99. but he can be so sexy at the same time

100. Kim Hanbin is one of the most talented and hardworking men in this industry and he's still getting slept on,, please support this bean

#kim hanbin #ikon #b.i scenario #hanbin imagine #hanbin ikon #b.i ikon #yg ikon #b.i imagines #ikon scenario #ikon imagine #kim hanbin scenario #kim hanbin imagine #b.i style

[noisemakerreviews]

‘Joker’ Paints An Uncomfortable Picture of Today’s World

Never did I think I’d see the day where I could parallel even the darkest of Batman themes to the world we live in. 

Todd Phillips’ latest blockbuster Joker stars Joaquin Phoenix as the clown prince of crime we all know and love. Phillips’ other films include the Hangover trilogy, but this new film doesn’t have a happy go-lucky trio trying to remember their drunken stupors and find their fourth mate. 

Joker makes the audience laugh, but in a nervous, sort of uncomfortable way. 

At the Venice Film Festival, Joker received an eight-minute standing ovation. 

Reviews poured in following the Italian premiere and they backed up the hype. Mark Hughes of Forbes said, “The fact is, everyone is going to be stunned by what Phoenix accomplishes, because it’s what many thought impossible — a portrayal that matches and potentially exceeds that of The Dark Knight’s Clown Prince of Crime.”

The film opens with Phoenix touching up his makeup in front of a vanity. He hooks his fingers in the corners of his mouth and pulls them upward in a smile, downwards in a frown, then back up again; a single, mascara-stained tears roll down his cheek, and laughter ensues. 

Phoenix plays Arthur Fleck, an eccentric man with a funny laugh and a horrifying past, searching for his identity. The film encapsulates Arthur’s journey with himself and his downward spiral into becoming the Joker.   

There are some prevalent themes within Joker that are worth talking about; the most prevalent being mental health and its effect on people in today’s society. There are several scenes in which Phoenix is sitting in front of his therapist, and she eventually jerks the needle off the record and informs him that the city has cut the clinic’s funding and their meetings must come to an end. The therapist goes on to claim that the higher-ups, “don’t give a shit,” about people like him or her. 

According to the National Survey of Drug Use and Health, in 2016, 9.8 million adults aged 18 or older in the U.S. had a serious mental illness; 2.8 million of those adults were below the poverty line. Insurance companies have also been known to skimp when it comes to mental health cases, which makes it that much harder for people relating to Arthur to seek help. According to a study published by Milliman, in 2015, behavioral care was four to six times more likely to be provided out-of-network than medical or surgical care. In President Trump’s proposed 2020 budget, his administration aims to cut $241 billion from Medicaid, an assistance program that provides healthcare to low-income Americans.

Dancing is a symbol that is heavy in Joker. According to a Harvard study, “dance helps reduce stress, increases levels of the feel-good hormone serotonin, and helps develop new neural connections, especially in regions involved in executive function, long-term memory, and spatial recognition.” After especially tense scenes, Arthur begins a slow, emphasized dance routine that is hauntingly beautiful.

 With mental health being such a prevalent theme, Arthur clinging onto dancing as a coping mechanism or escape from the world backs up the analysis that he’s doing it to improve his mental health — or at least attempt to. 

In any Batman rendition — comics, movies, TV shows, video games — Gotham is always on fire… literally. In Joker, we see a bright Gotham in the beginning, with normal big-city crimes happening: teenagers stealing things, muggings, etc. By the end of the film, Arthur has bred chaos in the streets, and we see the imagery of Gotham that has become so prevalent within the Batman universe. In both Arthur and Gotham’s descent into madness, there’s an arc that’s ever present: protesting the elite. 

All around the country, protests have emerged to combat the elite. Most recently, climate change has brought criticism on the world’s elite members and their inability to make a change. In the past, police brutality has created protests in riots from victim’s families and their supporters, calling for change in law enforcement procedures. Countless marches have been held in response to several pieces of legislations passed (abortion laws, Planned Parenthood budget cuts, LGBTQ+ rights). 

“Kill The Rich” is a headline that pops up time and time again throughout the film, feeding into this “protest the elite” arc. Arthur guns down three rich men in the subway following their harassment of a woman and a physical altercation between himself and the men. This sparks a movement within Gotham that empowers Arthur and makes him feel noticed, something he’d never experienced in his life before. Citizens of Gotham supporting this movement don clown masks to imitate the suspect, aka, Arthur. 

Joker has faced its fair share of backlash. Stephanie Zacharek of Time Magazine took no prisoners in her review, stating that Joker, “lionizes and glamorizes Arthur even as it shakes its head, faux-sorrowfully, over his violent behavior.” Other reviews have had similar opinions. In 2012, a mass shooting broke out at a Colorado movie theatre during The Dark Knight Rises premiere. The assailant fatally shot 12 people. Family members of the slain victims wrote a letter to Warner Bros. expressing their concerns. 

Sandy Phillips, mother to 24-year-old victim Jessica Ghawi, told The Hollywood Reporter, “I don't need to see a picture of [the gunman]; I just need to see a Joker promo and I see a picture of the killer … My worry is that one person who may be out there — and who knows if it is just one — who is on the edge, who is wanting to be a mass shooter, may be encouraged by this movie. And that terrifies me.”

In what is perhaps its most iconic scene, Arthur eccentrically dances down the stairs that we see him trudge up throughout the film. This is also the first time we see him in that iconic purple suit, green hair, and a full face of makeup. He is dancing to Gary Glitter’s “Rock and Roll Part Two,” which has earned the film more backlash. Gary Glitter is a convicted pedophile currently serving a 16-year prison sentence. According to CNBC, Glitter is allegedly slated to receive royalties from the use of his song in the movie. 

People took to Twitter to post their opinions about the film. One user tweeted, “#JokerMovie was the most brutal, uncomfortable and tense movie experience I’ve had in a long time. Joaquin Phoenix is chilling. The film was spot on and did everything it should have for a character like the Joker.”

Another user tweeted, “Outstandingly Disturbing. Prolific. Necessary Blessing to Modern Cinema.”

As much as I enjoyed the film’s premise, production, and Phoenix’s performance, I do think there are some troubling themes that need to be brought up. Arthur often justifies his heinous actions by stating “they deserved it” and using the defense that society treats “people like him” like “trash” so, they should all die. He feeds into the “Kill The Rich” movement that he involuntarily created in the subway when he committed what we presume to be his first murder(s). 

Though I know the concept behind the Joker character, I can see how this can be construed as glorifying gun violence. However, we can’t have the Gotham supervillain without violence and guns. It’s an accurate representation of the character, and it’s unfortunate that it parallels a lot of what’s going on in the world today. 

The Joker is also painted to incite pity within viewers, which a lot of times, it does --- or at least attempts to. This is classic Joker behavior. In Paul Dini and Bruce Timm’s comic Mad Love, readers meet Dr. Harleen Quinzel, a psychiatrist at Arkham Asylum. She gets assigned to none other than --- you guessed it --- the Joker. Though this woman is highly educated (we won’t talk about the things she did to get that education), the Joker still manipulates her and convinces her to not only help him escape Arkham, but become his partner-in-crime as well; Harleen Quinzel is no more and Harley Quinn is born.

She pities him and his situation, and he spins his tale of woe so expertly that she has the wool pulled over her eyes. Throughout the comic --- and the general timeline for Joker and Harley --- Joker mercilessly abuses Harley, from pushing her out a window to not noticing she was gone for six months. He is a cruel, manipulative psychopath that nobody should follow in the footsteps of; however, he’s good at his job, and Joker showcases that, however controversial and uncomfortable it may be.

Joker is rated R for a reason; not only are there a few F-bombs, the violence is staggering. However, when dealing with a character that is known for inciting violence and not caring about the consequences, tough scenes are necessary. Phillips didn’t shy away from blood and intensity in his murder scenes, and Phoenix went all in when it came to brutality. Personally, (spoiler!) I never really wanted to see Robert De Niro’s brains blown out the back of his skull, but you can’t have the Joker without some blood. 

And finally, while the troubled citizens looking for a leader are terrorizing Gotham following Arthur’s murder of Murray Franklin (Robert De Niro) on live television, our hero’s story starts. Thomas and Martha Wayne are gunned down in an alley outside a theatre by a rogue thug and Joker fan, and young Bruce Wayne begins his famous story. 

Joker was original in concept and plot, but had just enough callbacks to the comics to make it permissible. The atmosphere in the full theatre I was in was palpable. There were chuckles and titters here and there when Arthur would make a funny joke, or everyone was just laughing off the tension of the moment. There were also audible gasps and groans when things got especially rough (such as the aforementioned Robert De Niro scene). Joker did exactly what the real Joker would have wanted: it incited a reaction out of people.

I had low expectations going into the movie because, as someone who grew up reading Batman and loving to hate the Joker, I was afraid my favorite complex villain was going to get ruined (looking at you, Jared Leto). I was pleasantly surprised by Phoenix’s performance and Phillips’ take on Mista J, and it was a refreshing performance that was a polar opposite from the late Heath Ledger’s, but equally as convincing and chilling.

An Oscar seems to be on the horizon for both Phillips and Phoenix for Joker. The film is raunchy and tense, and I didn’t know I could hold my breath for two hours. It’s exactly what a Joker movie should be, and I’d encourage anyone to go watch it.

#joker #the joker #joker movie #review #joker review #comic book #comic book review #movie #dc #dc comics #todd phillips #joaquin phoenix #pop culture

[aion-rsa]

Saint Maud and the True Horror of Broken Minds and Bodies

https://ift.tt/36P7Are

Spoilers for SAINT MAUD to follow

If there hadn’t been a pandemic one of the horror movies everyone would be talking about this year would be Saint Maud. We’d be talking about it in the same breath as Hereditary, The Witch, The Babadook and Raw, but we’d know that it isn’t really like any of them. We might mention Repulsion, The Exorcist, Rosemary’s Baby, but we’d know what we’d seen is new and exciting.

Release in UK cinemas on October 9 after getting pushed back and pulled forward several times, Saint Maud can finally find its way to audiences who feel comfortable going to the pictures – with a digital release to follow.

This is director Rose Glass’ debut film, an incredibly confident first feature which sees Morfydd Clark’s pious palliative care nurse believe she is on a mission from god to save the soul of her dying patient, former dancer Amanda (Jennifer Ehle). Set in a squalid seaside town this is a film that pits faded glamour and rough reality against the beatific visions of the troubled Maud – it’s at once beautiful and hellish.

We caught up with Glass to talk about minds and bodies, a Welsh God and the horrific true story behind Maud’s past.

Would you describe Saint Maud as horror? 

I don’t know, I’m having less and less of an opinion on the whole genre thing now, to be honest. I guess it’s somewhat subjective. Why do people put such rigid labels on things? It’s a film. I’ve been told people find it scary. It’s not like some of the bigger, more mainstream, jump scares every minute ones. And neither is better or worse, I guess they’re just slightly different styles. But yeah, it’s more horror than it is not.

What were the origins of Maud, where did the concept first come from?

I started coming up with the early version of the idea just as I was finishing film school in 2014. It was just a premise that I thought would be fun. It was going to be a two-hander of a young woman who hears the voice of God in her head and falls in love with him. It was going to be some sort of twisted romance between her and God, but it started to go quite gimmicky quite quickly. That was what set me off down that path. But it was always about a woman who had this voice in her head. 

At first I didn’t question at all how literal that was or not, or whether or not that meant God or mental illness. So then I started wondering a bit more about that and started realizing there are two different ways you could be doing this same scenario, depending on whether you have faith or not, which I thought was quite interesting and deliberately a bit provocative and fun. It’s an amalgamation of lots of stuff that I’m interested in, mental illness and religion, and brains and bodies going wrong and all that sort of stuff.

It struck me as about a conflict between mind and body and soul…

The ridiculousness of being a human and at once the world in our brains being able to encompass such huge concepts and be so far reaching and epic, and apocalyptic within our minds, but then the mundane reality of life. Not to mention the fact that all of us are walking around in weird fleshy body things that can go wrong, and the brain’s just an organ. And what the fuck is consciousness? It’s all mind-boggling, so for me I guess, storytelling and films and art is often just trying to find weird varied ways to make sense of all that.

The settings and your locations really help with that. The comparison between these lofty ethereal visions and these squalid moments of hell in the flat. Can you tell me a bit about the locations and what you were looking for when you were hunting down those places?

I think that, what you said, that was it. I wanted to find ways for the visual language and setting of the film to reflect what’s going on. So yeah, when she’s on her sacred mission and trying to help Amanda in her house, that’s high above the town looking down on everybody and that’s kind of how she is. And then her crappy little bedsit is meant to have the feel of a hermitage or some kind of, I don’t know, not monastic, but something very basic.

How did you manage to achieve that terribly oppressive, hellish look and feel to the film?

I always wanted the whole film to be incredibly subjective, and for the audience to always be very much aligned with Maud’s experience. And for me, the whole challenge of the film was to see if I could get the audience to connect with and understand somebody who goes on to do such seemingly inexplicable, awful things. There’s a version of the story that could have been told and shot like a very bleak, social realism drama about an unemployed nurse who’s struggling with mental health issues. And while that is definitely in the story, I wanted to tell it from her perspective. Because obviously, she doesn’t see herself as this unfortunate downtrodden victim. She sees herself as somebody incredibly important. She’s in direct communication with God. This is all massive high stakes stuff. Otherwise you don’t get what’s driving her.

Her day-to-day life, job, is quite mundane and she’s looking for the thing that makes her feel important and seen and special. So her relationship with God and the whole journey that she thinks she’s going on with Amanda, it had to feel as important, sexual and exciting as the character finds it. Then the whole drama comes from the conflict between what she thinks is going on, and what’s actually going on.

The look of it had to be super sensual and stylized. I work with Ben Fordsman who’s my DOP, it’s his first film as well. He’s fantastic. We talked a lot about making the visual style reflect her unraveling mental states. At the beginning things were a lot more controlled, in terms of camera and lighting and camera movement, and then gradually as she unravels throughout the film, the style of the whole film gets more and more extreme.

The fact that Maud is very strong, believes she’s on a mission from God and doesn’t feel sorry for herself makes this a very different film.

She’s a very contradictory character, which to me just seems more realistic. None of us are just one thing. I wasn’t so aware of this until I actually watched, with editing the film and shooting, and Morfydd said the same thing when she watched it for the first time. Because we both are physically small women, it’s not something you’re conscious of but in terms of how you come across in the way she looks there’s already like a natural frailty or vulnerability which makes you want to go, “Oh.” and help her. But then actually everything else beyond that, beyond how she looks, in her performance, and how she interacts with people, it’s quite spiky and tough, quite arrogant. I like these neurotic characters, with weird levels of arrogance and self-loathing. Neurotics with stomach aches, and arrogance and self loathing. Encompassing lots of things, contradictory, multifaceted, she’s chameleon and very funny.

To me this feels like a really female film. Was that something that you were really conscious of and deliberately wanted to do? Or was that just because you happen to be a female?

Yeah, the latter. I don’t know. I feel like with the horror vibe, sometimes feel like I’m not saying what I should. No, I’ve never thought of myself as a female filmmaker, and what is the thing I have to say as a woman. I just come at things as an individual. I think it’ll be good when audiences can think more like that as well. But at the same time, I don’t want to be ungrateful. I’m really aware of the fact that I’m really fortunate to be coming up at this time where, because of the hard work that a lot of other people have done before me, audiences and the industry are more open than they have been before to stories about women. So I’m certainly benefiting from that. I wish I didn’t have that little bit of voice in my head that’s like, “Oh, so are you just ticking a box…”

There are certainly themes of how these two women connect to their bodies.

I’m very interested in weird relationships that we all have with our bodies, and obviously, I’m coming at it from a female perspective, because I am a woman. [I’m interested in] the contrast between his alternate epic inner world and how limiting bodies are sometimes. 

When Maud hears the voice of God it’s actually Morfydd’s own voice we are hearing, I gather?

Yes. And it wasn’t in the original script. Going in to shoot the film, that scene didn’t exist. I think I’d been a bit too ruthless with trying to cut the script down so it would be short and contained. There are things that you think come across because you’ve written it and you’re familiar with it, and then you look in the edit and you’re like, “Oh shit, we need this scene.” It felt like we needed an unambiguous scene where God reveals himself to her and talks. So then it was like, “What does God look and sound like?” So I’d already had this beetle that we’d done some stuff with, so I was like, “Great, get the beetle in.” And then it’s like, “How does the beetle sound?”

I’d been listening to Morfydd talking on the phone to her sister in Welsh throughout the shoot, and it’s just this lovely sounding language, which I think is unfamiliar to most people. I probably wouldn’t have recognized it. Everyone’s kind of, “Is it Latin? Is it Aramaic?” Then you go, “It’s Welsh.” And then you’re like, “It’s Morfydd’s voice pitched down and everyone goes, “Ooh.”

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Saint Maud Review: Elevated Horror That’s a Revelation

By Rosie Fletcher

Where did Maud’s backstory originate?

It’s a story I actually nicked from a woman that I met at a friend’s birthday party who was a nurse. I was talking to her a bit about the film before we’d shot it. I was running it by her, the idea of this traumatized nurse, who’s left the public sector and gone to work as a private carer. And there’s this kind of unresolved, untreated trauma that she’s gone through. She’s basically losing her mind and no one’s realized. “Does that sound plausible?” And she was like, “Yeah, totally.” I’d already read a lot of stories about nurses and doctors and public health workers grappling with mental health issues, because it’s a great, insane field to work in.

This woman told me this thing that happened to her, where she’d been working on a intensive care unit for people with lung problems. There was a guy, an old man, who was recovering from some major chest surgery and he was either in a coma or asleep, I’m not sure. He’d been sort of, sliced and stapled here [gestures down the centre of her chest] and this nurse was doing the night shift and he crashed, went into some kind of cardiac arrest. She had to start doing CPR and he was so frail, and he’d just had this surgery, which was sort of open. And yeah, her hands just kind of, went inside and he died…

Wow.

Awful, yeah. Fortunately, in this woman’s case, she got a ton of therapy and worked through it, but had PTSD. So to be honest, the real thing that happened to her, I think, is more horrifying than what actually did in the film, because we tried to do that effect, but it didn’t work. In our film you see the chest, there was a cavity inside that fake chest. It was meant to be that Morfydd’s hands went all the way inside, but it didn’t quite work. Then actually, the first take that we did where it didn’t break it just crushed, that actually made the whole crew wince. So actually we just ended up using that. Putting in a little bit of fake blood, so it’s less gory than the real thing that happened. But I think it’s more effective in the film anyway. So yes, that lady’s awful trauma, I’m making a film out of it. I’m not sure about the moral implications of that but… Anyway, that’s what I did.

When you were at film school till 2015, and you’ve made quite a lot of shorts before, I wondered if you see common themes or preoccupations within your work?

You start to work out what your things are. For me, they definitely seem to be bodies and brains going wrong, always loved bodies and brains. Insects are getting in there as well. At least two of the next projects are definitely quite body focused.

What can you tell us about those?

Only that there’s one which is set in America and that’s going to be a rather horrible romance, or lovely romance, depending how you look at it, I guess. And the other one is the sort of, slightly more body horror one, which I was writing mostly during lockdown, but I can’t say any more.

In terms of the title, is there a real Saint Maud?

There is. That’s not who she’s named after though. Initially, the film was just called, “Maud”. Then “Saint Maud” only came about once I worked out that she isn’t actually Maud, she’s Katie, and Maud’s kind of an identity she’s created for herself. I think there was one, I want to say she was something like the patron saint of naughty school children, something like that. 

Your film is finally coming out in cinemas and I know it’s been moved around a bit. So how does it feel that you’re finally getting your release?

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Great. Very weird. Very nice. I keep forgetting that the main thing hasn’t happened yet, with coming up in festivals and all of that stuff. To me, it sort of feels like Maud’s kind of done, so I’m thinking about the next stuff now. I keep forgetting that it’s not actually been released yet. I’m curious to see what regular audiences think of it.

Saint Maud is out now in UK cinemas

The post Saint Maud and the True Horror of Broken Minds and Bodies appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[subvertingyourexpectations]

Oscar-Nominated Shorts: Live Action

   Every year I always try to get out and see the Oscar-nominated short films. At the very least, the live action and animation ones. I think they’re always an underrated gem, particularly around Oscars season; everybody’s always in a mad scramble to see the best pictures, the best performances, and the shorts often get overlooked. The truth is that the shorts can house some of the most creative and inventive storytelling of the year. Think about it, you have to get in, set up your characters and your world, tell your story, and then wrap it up in a satisfying way, all within the span of five to thirty minutes. In full-length film, time is a luxury, a seemingly bottomless and expansive wallet when compared to short films, where craft is truly more central, and every second counts.

  So before I go into a brief review of each of this year’s nominated live action shorts, I wanna give some thoughts I have on shorts in general. Now, this is a grand generalization, but here is usually my opinion on them: I love them, or I hate them. When a film has to be so small and self-contained, everything can either mesh together beautifully or crumble to pieces, and usually, it has to do with how they’re constructed.

  So what makes a short film? More specifically, an Oscar-nominated live action short film? Well, I think most of these films have two central components: The Message and The Device. (To be clear, not all short films have a Message and a Device, sometimes they just have a fun idea and a simple plot. Good examples of this are this year’s The Eleven O’Clock, and last year’s Timecode and Sing.) Short films are oftentimes an easy way to distill an idea or an opinion, and share it with the world. That’s the Message. The Message is what you’re trying to get across, what you’re trying to make people think about. The Device is just the way in which that Message is conveyed; basically, it’s the plot. And that’s where I find most of these short films fall apart: the focus is so heavily on what they’re trying to say, that they don’t say it in a compelling way. There’s little substance, and little nuance or depth to the plot.

  But like I said, for as often as they fail, they too succeed. There are clear examples of stories that can be told satisfyingly and succinctly all in the timespan of twenty minutes, while also getting your Message across. I think for them to work, you need to strike a balance. 70% Device, and 30% Message, or somewhere around there. Of course, it always helps that you have a good script, unique direction, solid actors, and a sizeable budget (oftentimes the biggest restraint on short films). Why some films work and others do not becomes subjective the more you look at it. I liked this one because I liked the main character, or I disliked this one because I couldn’t stand the dialogue, and so on. Since we’re now talking less about structure and more about subjectivity, this seems like the perfect time to transition into my brief thoughts on each short film this year.  

  1. DeKalb Elementary

Boy… this is kinda the quintessential example of the Message completely dominating the Device. This film, about a school shooter and the receptionist that has to do everything she can to deescalate the situation, is filled with strong messaging, most directly “we should get better about treating mental health”. The rest of the film essentially feels like a blank slate; the characters feel nonexistent, the setting is deliberately plain, and the plot supplies sprinkles of tension but not much else. It’s not that I disagree with what this film is trying to say, I just think it needs to be a good film first.

   2. The Silent Child

I feel pretty much the same about this one. It follows the story of Libby, a deaf girl who begins learning sign language from her helper, Joanne. Problems arise when Libby’s parents don’t see the benefit in her learning sign language, they’d rather she just read lips and generally attempt to be “normal”. My problem with this film is that (slight spoilers) it essentially abandons its entire plot for the last five minutes and becomes so much about what they’re trying to say. And again, while I don’t disagree with what they’re trying to say (“we should be supporting deaf children in our school system”), I find the film as a whole to be totally bland.

  3. My Nephew Emmett

This one is easily my favorite short film this year. It tells the story of Emmett Till, a 14-year-old kid who was abducted (and later found dead) in Mississippi in 1955. The film is shocking and brutally honest, and I found myself amazed that this all happened less than 75 years ago. For as much as it feels like we still have to go on issues of civil rights, it seems important to remember that we have come a long way. On top of all that, it’s also the most well-acted and well-directed. I honestly didn’t think short films could present much in the way of directing, but the way the pre-dawn light filters in through the windows as Emmett gets abducted is truly spectacular, and the confrontations between Emmett’s uncle and the captors is some of the best acting I’ve seen all year. I loved this one.

  4. The Eleven O’Clock

The Eleven O’Clock is like some sort of long-lost Julian Smith sketch. It’s a hilarious and simple concept, that gets in, says what it has to, and gets out. The premise is this: a psychiatrist takes on a new patient that believes he’s a psychiatrist, meaning that they both attempt to treat each other over the course of their appointment. It’s original, it’s funny, and it’s quick. I don’t have much else to say about it, other than it seems like they always nominate a token comedy short film that never really stands a chance at winning (previous years include the endearing Boogaloo and Graham, the hilarious Ave Maria, and of course last year’s magnificent Timecode).

  5. Watu Wote (All of Us)

I wish I had more to say about this one other than that I found it incredibly powerful. It tells the true story of a bus in Kenya transporting both Muslims and Christians. When the bus gets hijacked by members of Al-Shabaab, they demand that the Muslims and Christians separate (so that they can be killed). The Muslims refuse, and in doing so they put their own lives in danger to protect the Christians. Sure, it’s simple and it’s a broad metaphor for world peace, but I found it incredibly touching and moving. The Message merely exists throughout the story, it never feels disingenuine, or like it’s being shoved down your throat. If I had to guess, I feel like this one will win at the Oscars.

#subverting your expectations #oscars #oscar-nominated #oscar nominated shorts #short films #oscar nominated short film #oscar nominated shorts live action #dekalb elementary #the silent child #my nephew emmett #the eleven o'clock #watu wote #watu wote (all of us) #all of us #timecode #sing #boogaloo and graham #ave maria

[arethereanyoriginalusernames]

Spooky Babbles About: CW’s PPG leaked script

....oh dear

Disclaimer: this post isn’t meant to start any fights or anything. I believe in criticizing media so that we can learn what does and doesn’t work, and apply that to our own written works. So, we’re here to learn and discuss, so I hope you brought your discount notebook from Staples, and Scholastic Scented Pencils

Anyways, how about that new, edgy live action remake of The PowerPuff girls?

I wanted to share my thoughts as an outsider to the franchise. I’ll admit, I didn’t really grow up with the show. I know the basic stuff about it, like the characters, idea of the plot, and I’ve listened to/watched a lot of videos and podcasts discussing the show. So, I get the basic idea of everything. And I’m not particularly emotionally attached to the show.

Why does this matter? Well, I noticed a lot of backlash against the leaked script of the teaser and I think the first episode? So, I wondered, hey, what would someone who’s a newbie to the series think about this script?

Not just that, but, and I’ll admit, I wasn’t super opposed to the basic idea of the show?

Hear me out

I actually think the idea of someone reflecting on what they missed out on growing up is alright. And since these girls were admittedly busy saving people, it wouldn’t be too out there to wonder how effective they’d be in building lives outside of that. Hell, it’d even be interesting to see the ppg as adults. Are they still a team, what do they think about the whole thing in retrospect, what are they doing? And hey, making some characters lgbt? You know what? Fuck yeah!

So, I don’t think that the concept was dead on arrival... but goddamn, that execution tho. I’ll be detailing what goes on in the script under the cut, so if you’re interested, um... get ready for the new ppg, Tana Mogeau, Trauma Girlboss, and Stereotypical Lesbian Hulk.

Part 1: Plot?

Ok bitches, we’re in a new universe of PPG. There’s swearing and sex and a bunch of unnecessary shit bc EDGE! And listen, as a local edge lord, I don’t mind edginess. I’m just saying, when you’re being a try hard, it’s clear you’re being a try hard.

So, in this universe, the og cartoon exists, and is based on what goes on here... ok. And Prof Uranium or whatever specifically made the gals to be super heroes. With the help of Mojo Jojo, who’s human now bc idk, and spoiler, Mojo becomes angry bc he doesn’t get as much clout as the prof out of this.

So, we get the girlies fighting as little kids, and there’s a mention by Bubbles that they need to look good for the camera bc, if you haven’t figured it the fuck out, we’re going with the oh so original idea that the PPG are just the prof’s way of getting famous and getting clout. Oh, and the mayor’s gf Sara Bellium is now the prof’s gf bc... idk.

Anyways, Mojo is super angry, but he has a son, Jojo, who is crushing on Blossom. Ok. So, Not Monkey man starts an Anti PPG protest? Basically saying that this is all a stunt for money, and even accusing the prof of creating the monsters. Oh yeah, nobody knows where all these monsters came from, and apparently nobody cares enough to investigate I guess. Anyways, even though there’s this entire movement against 3 little girls, the girls are still happy living with the Prof and Sara. Also, apparently Mojo’s motive is that he wanted powers that he could use for good? Ok.

Then oh no, the PPG are teenagers bc time skip. For some reason, Bubbles is hung over bc underage drinking is necessary. Also, the animal lover broke into the zoo and made the flamingos drink alcohol? Ok. And Buttercup is cheating on her gf, bc why not? She’s the most masculine, so obviously she’s the one attracted to women. Stereotypes! And Blossom is a good student. Bc yes. Anyways, they need to get up super early to fight crime, but they don’t want to bc they’re tiiiireeed. And Bubbles doesn’t want pigtails, but the Prof tells her to stay in character, so that’s that.

And then Mojo tries to kill 3 minors with his son, and there’s this entire group of people throwing shit at the girls bc let’s kill kids! And then Blossom accidentally kills Mojo, becomes traumatized, everyone hates these minors, and one by one, all girls run away to start a new life.

Time skip! Buttercup is a firefighter who hides her powers but doesn’t. Bubbles is sticking to her character in an attempt to be a celebrity, and she does anything possible to market off her identity. So, going solo, doing porn, making documentaries, selling merch, etc. And Blossom is a bioengineering student with a boyfriend who might as well not exist.

Btw, part of how Blossom calms herself down when panicking is visualizing her child self. So we get weird scenes where she sees her child self hanging out in a bar? Ok. Also, she has a panic attack every scene she’s in bc I guess we need it? And her sisters calm her down by scream-singing Breakaway by Kelly Clarkson. And that same song is super inspirational to Blossom. I mean, I also like that song, but... ok.

So, the gals are going to Townsville to collect money from the prof. Bubbles is super insensitive to her sisters’ mental health, and is turning the reunion into a documentary, and says at one point that the family dysfunction is all she has. Buttercup is bitching in every scene, and we’re reminded every 10 seconds that Blossom has anxiety.

Anyways, remember Jojo? He’s mayor, and trying to get re-elected. But he wants revenge on the PPG bc dad died, so he does the obvious thing of hiring a child that killed her parents to kill the PPG. And he just acts like a generic super villain in his villain chair, and he has a monkey, and he really doesn’t matter.

The killer kid, Henrietta, shows up in a crowd outside the PPG house, bc people are protesting the girls being back? And she humiliated them. Also, Henrietta has these evil robots that control your brain by going in your ear, and she doesn’t really matter.

We get these whole series of scenes that hammer in that the prof is a bad dad and everyone hates him, but they also lazily set up redemption arc for him or something? Anyways, he figures out that there’s evil going on, bc Henri’s lab is sucking up the wifi on a street. And he convinces the girls to investigate. This is pointless, as the three just go to a bar, and get drunk and argue. And they don’t find Jack shit, although Henrietta is mind controlling some rando who attacks them, and it doesn’t matter.

Then they go home, Buttercup has sex with some other rando and everyone walks in on them, and I guess it’s funny. Also, turns out that the prof has no money to give anyone, so the girls start screaming. We get this weird accusation that the og cartoon whitewashed the girls bc hey, let’s insult the source material. Then the rando gal buttercup was sexing gets possessed by the robots, and attacks, but they save her, and Blossom figures out how to solve everything. Then the prof gets possessed, there’s an entire crowd of possessed people in town now.

Bubbles and buttercup decide to save the day, but Blossom is like “no”. Then her child self shows up, they sing Kelly Clarkson, and then she’s like “ok”. Anyways, the other two have dumped water on the crowd and saved everyone, but oh no, Henri is making the prof do a fall off building backflip, but Blossom saves him. Then they almost kill a child, everyone loves them, the girls decide to be heroes, Jojo sneaks a camera into their home, and is a bad guy I guess.

And there’s the plot. There’s a PDF online if you want to read it. I left some stuff out that really doesn’t matter, so.

——-

Part 2: Dialogue Who?

Yes, these are screenshots. I thought that if I tried explaining some of this dialogue, people wouldn’t believe me. So...

I hope I don’t need to explain what’s wrong here. Mainly because... I don’t think I can put into words the level of “have you ever spoken to a human being” we’re dealing with here.

——-

This is already pretty long, so I’ll make a part 2. I’m sure you folks may already have caught on to my opinion of this... thing. But in the next part, I’ll discuss the characters, pandering and how this shit could be fixed.

I apologize for wasting your time

- Spooky S Skeletons