#i feel like ive gotten other ppl

[palms-upturned]

Like three of my coworkers in the past month have tested positive for covid, every day I see new ppl on my dash mentioning that they’ve caught covid, every day I see and hear from ppl who have come down w something that looks like covid but the test came back negative but also they can only afford to test once bc tests aren’t free anymore and the more accurate tests are also more expensive so there’s no way to know if it was a false negative, and yet nobody masks anymore. hell world hell world

#meg talks #like i feel like im losing my mind. i will admit that ive probably gotten too bold abt going out in public #but at least i never go out without wearing a clean n95 #and then i immediately look around and see no one else is wearing one and im like well fuck me i guess. #i refuse to get on an airplane or have anyone come visit me via plane bc fucking every time someone ik gets on a plane #they come back with covid #and i just keep thinking back to the start of the pandemic and the efforts to flatten the curve #and how if we’d just fucking. done it. if the lockdown wasn’t lifted so fast. we could have killed covid #instead we’re going on four years of this. and ppl just act like life is normal again #well it’s not normal for me. catching covid could ruin my body and cost me my job and then what #but nobody cares bc most precautions protect other ppl around us more than they protect ourselves #and nobody gives a shit abt the disabled #nor do they want to think abt the fact that they are one covid infection away from being disabled themselves

[infizero]

listen i was guilty of this once upon a time too but dawg ppl GOTTA stop calling any platonic dynamic they like “siblings” without any precedence 

#there are many characters where there is good right to call them siblings. but ppl have gotten so trigger happy w it #and like theres nothing wrong with viewing a dynamic that way ig but at the same time it makes ppl who may ship those characters really #uncomfortable. bcuz although there is nothing to suggest that those characters view each other in that way by calling them siblings #instantly you've made it weird for anyone who might interpret the dynamic differently #idk this is very nuanced but it just irked me a little bit #absolutely nothing against the person in the tags of my art btw power to you #but. as someone who ships pearl and scar a little it was a bit uncomfortable to see them be called siblings #i dont like ppl making ANY of the hermits siblings. like grian and pearl are a common one i see and i just. i dont get it i truly dont #none of their dynamics read like that to me. idk. again ppl have their own interpretations of things and they didnt mean any harm by it #it just made me feel a little weird #and this is a problem or well. trend ive seen in all fandoms recently #please. people are allowed to be friends and have close friendships and not have a familial element involved #esp with a girl and a boy THEY CAN JUST BE FRIENDS! YOU CAN HAVE THEM BE TOTALLY PLATONIC WITHOUT CALLING THEM SIBLINGS #whatever whatever idrc. just something ive noticed i know other ppl have talked about this before #again this is not a callout or anything im genuinely not mad or weirded out or anything please dont think i am #serena.txt

[dennisboobs]

i think everyone on sunnytwt needs to be sat down so i can explain to them what basic human empathy is. and then maybe i put them in a blender until they agree to write meta about the characters instead of whether or not charlie day got facial reconstruction surgery.

#ada speaks #u do not exist in a vacuum and your words have the capability to harm others #celebrities may not see your tweets but your balding transmasc mutual and your follower who feels self conscious about her nose will #it is fucking bizarre the way these people conduct themselves online #really. really fucking weird man #and then you see them acting like ppl are 'defending rich white men' #instead of taking issue with the actual shit theyre saying #whether or not you think rcg has been 'under the knife' or not #a) how is this any of your business. you are not entitled to this info nor do you have a free pass to criticize someone's personal choice #b) ask yourself why you feel you need to critique alleged surgeries and how they stack up to imposed conventional beauty standards #c) you do not *own* them. you can have opinions on your own attraction to them but #a person getting plastic surgery or hair plugs or whatever is up to them. not you. if it helps to make them feel better then who cares. #just because it doesn't make them attractive to YOU doesn't mean its okay to point and laugh #if a trans guy got top surgery and it was 'botched' would you act like they were stupid for getting it in the first place? #if a trans woman decided she wanted to surgically shave her jaw would you shame her for that? #it's their body. it's not yours. #for the record i don't believe any of them have gotten work done but think its a stupid thing to speculate on regardless #ive watched family members go through plastic surgeries of varying success. ive seen them get botox and hair plugs and everything #normal everyday people do it and it's not always about vanity #it can be for gender reaffirming reasons (and yes this includes when cis people do it) to alleviate dysphoria #trying to point out alleged surgical alterations made is just. gross #not to mention that holy shit MOST of the shit ppl are saying is like. age. different hairstyles. different facial expressions. #maybe if these people actually watched the show theyd be able to see the gang in action instead of staring at pics like spot the difference

[girlwithfish]

bpd vs cptsd is really confusing also bpd vs autism. anyway

#and like the debate that bpd is just cptsd #and is a disorder rooted in trauma #but trauma also isnt a diagnostic requirement but also idk if i believe ppl w bpd who say they have no trauma at all #well im sure there r exceptions but also think a lot of ppl downplay trauma they went thru #nd ppl say bpd/personality disorders in general r from trauma and learned trauma responses for survival #But reading up abt cptsd lately its like everything also resonates w ne #me #but i still think i am like textbook definition of bpd lol. i was in a split for literally a week #it was hell i actually dont know how i survived bc i was so close to kmsing a lotttt bc mental illness is running my life rn #and making it unbearable!! i am just tryi g to find internal safety again and trust in others and #build my own resilience and trust in myself above all. reparentify myself and learn how to make a #sustainable life for myself when ive been trying to function like a - #'normal' neurotypical stable person for all my life and had no idea my mental problems ran this deeply #like iwish i had gotten help sooner. i feel horrible my life has gotten to this point bc i did nothing abt it when i was a kid or younger #adult bc i didnt know i guess. idk #i just realized my.upbringing has a bigger effect than i even know on who i am today. i have sm repressed memories too lmfao

[krynutsreal]

old blind date au doodles bc I forgor to post em

obviously. as any other post regarding an au there's gonna be messy rambling down below + more doodles

also these r also continued ideas from this post !! so thank u again to my mutual for giving me doodling ideas :]

ok so

Aoi and makoto go back to tell the rest of the friend group (who r atm not that close w/ Kiyotaka but r nosy and want to know the outcome) and of course, word goes around and by the time Mondo comes back home Daiya mysteriously knows about how the blind date ended 👍

being the big bro that he is he's obviously gonna tease mondo abt it while Mondo is heading up to his room

(not a fan of these but . YA!)

Daiya, the mf who set up the blind date mostly: r u ....yk.....🏳️‍🌈

mondo: 🤨

anyways a while after (not even a while like a couple minutes) Daiya asks a silly little question that he totally does not already know the answer to :)

it takes mondo a moment b4 the implications hit him

Daiya later spends the rest of the evening dodging things that Mondo throws at him everytime he makes a teasing comment @ him

who's the one responsible for Daiya knowing everything beforehand? well,,

#GAHH ive had these for a while now #some of the doodles arent the best but yk what im not motivated enough to redraw em so YA! #ALSO EXCUSE ME FOR HOW WONKY DAIYA N LIKE...the other ppl look clearly i need to draw other characters other than the ishimondos #if u guys have any like ..questions r sumn then feel free to ask cayse talking abt aus are soo fun :] #tbh ive had these on hold bc of the fact that ive gotten brainrot over another au i posted abt like. once #we'll see where my brainrot takes me really! maybe I'll post more abt this later on :] #ANYWAYS THIS IS ALREADY LONG ENOUGH SORRU BYE #danganronpa #mondo owada #ishimondo #daiya owada #a crumb of yasuhiro #and aoi...and makoto... #kry k(art) #OH HEAH #blind date au

[volfoss]

genuinely such a great feeling when a project just works out like this....

#twist rambles #like i feel SO well equipped to handle this?? and the head is PERFECTLY in scale for the body and should match pretty decent and all the #neck mods ive done should ALSO be ok. like for me its really nice bc looking at this head initially i was like. no fucking way am i gonna b #able to do ANYTHING for her. i cant fix this and so i shouldnt even consider it. but now im like ok. i think this is gonna work out perfect #even if some parts. well are gonna be scary... im dreading doing the eyes lol. but future me's issue lol. but idk. its just been rly cool o #like. i rly looked up to other ppl in this hobby that were able to fix up REALLY damaged dolls like this. like one person ive talked to a #bit on the resin side of it all is so so sklled at repair and has so much knowledge. and idk its cool to take on a project like this and #know im well equipped for it. knowledge wise. like its... idk definitely the worst shape doll ive gotten since i got into this in 2018. so #im excited :) and i havent worked w vinyl dolls for a while so... idk im excited to get this doll... and hopefully it wont be TOO bad lmao #^currently in research hell but. idk im excited #bjd posting #<- again so bad at remembering to tag this bc i go turbo autism mode in the tags. sadly lol

[roaringheat]

Accidentally been isolating myself for like 2 yrs now so my goal this yr is to be more social and basically almost went into cardiac arrest inviting a rando to queue up with me on ovw

#vark posts #they said yes and we've been playing for like 3 days now :^) #its been perfect actually #ive gotten to the point where i just legit dont know how to talk to ppl #legitimately i feel like i just copy other ppls words everytime i have a convo or type up a post #cause it feels impossible to string words together #this person & i dont talk much but we mess around a lot in game #and its been doing wonders to fill that socialization need without stressing me tf out #ik i need to go more out of my comfort zone and have conversations but im proud of myself for even just initiaing it #also dont diss me for playing ovw again lol #its unfortunately good for interacting with ppl lol

[bloggirl8842]

Im not gonna lie people telling me my whole life abt how pretty my mom is did fuck me up a little. What about me

#ofc this doesnt involve her as a person just looks wise ive been made to feel like im playing second fiddle sometimes #ive gotten better w it though like i dont mind when ppl tell me nowadays. its just now this bitch stylist cut off all my hair and im reminde #d of all the time ive fucking wasted being made to feel ugly. not just over the mom thing thats minimal but in every other way

[coloursofaparadox]

💙💙💙

#ive had a lot of really shit family christmases growing up #and made it a goal after i got to the point where i could to always host xmases for my roommates and friends #and with the express goal of making it not the horrible shitshow a lot of ppl grew up with #but this year im going out to visit my mom who has gotten a lot better over the years #and my aunt (who is a trans woman!!!!) that my mom recently discovered from her bio side of the family a few years ago #drove out to spend it with us too #so its me and my dog my mom and her dog and my aunt/her sister in this log house on a horse ranch where my mom lives #just drinking and hanging out and playing monopoly and having a great time with the dogs #and i never really thought i was ever going to have a family christmas i actually wanted to be at tbh. #especially with another trans family member!!!!!!! #and especially having my dog with me who is absolutely my baby and having everyone love on him and him being so happy #is just. really really nice. #altho i do miss friends/roommate xmas too ngl in a different way #but. yeah. merry xmas yall i feel very lucky to have people to spend it with this year bc its not always a guarantee #despite being broke as shit with like negative presents for each other i am absolutely loving it

[minglana]

i keep thinking im gonna get SO wasted tonight but: 1. i dont know who im gonna sit with during supper. if im uncomfortable w the ppl (so the majority of my class) i will probably not drink that much and 2. i have to get back by 1am and i have to appear to be sober when i get in the taxi AND when i get back in the dorms

#like theres this one girl who im friends with but shes friends w everybody #and the thing is that one of the ppl in class who shes closest with is someone id rather see the least amount possible #the other day i said on here that there was this girl that like. doesnt even look in my direction. yeah thats her. LIKE BRO #the other day i was talking w said friend and this girl comes up and she just goes to the friend 'lets go' and doesnt even look to me #no hi or any type of acknowledgement. idk. maybe sometime during my first yr i expressed my political views and she didnt like them #or something and shes holding a grudge. IDK. but anyways shes the main reason i dont like going out w said friend. bc this girl will be the #there* and shell make me feel extra awkward #so heres hoping that i can somehow sit w the 3rd yrs. theyre much more entertaining and fun. and ive already gotten drunk w them once so <3 #z xarre

[carcinized]

feeling of growing into my body is so nice too. god puberty sucked

#i mean i had other stuff too. and so do probably most of my followers bc Trans Things. i never had dysphoria from being trans tho #it was all from discomfort during puberty + depersonalization #so now that both of those have lessened + ive gotten better at managing them. HOLY SHIT ITS NICE #i dont feel ashamed of my body!!! ive achieved complete body neutrality its so fucking awesome #i dont even feel like i need to dress up anymore. nor am i uncomfortable with the idea that someone could find me attractive #bc i understand its not my job to be or not be attractive its just my job to EXIST. other ppl can think whatever they want about me #its SO NICE. i am growing into my life its so lovely. #just a bit of positivity for you guys :] this site (and online spaces in general) can be so negative bc it’s a safe place to ent #so heres a break from that. from someone who struggled heavily w mental illness for multiple years #i don’t want to disclose what or why but it wasnt just quirky depression anxiety etc it was like from real scary shit + near death experienc #<- not to say anxiety & depression don’t suck. what i mean is that it wasn’t quirky ‘omg i have anxiety im so scared of everyone 🥺👉👈’ #type shit that every white girl highschooler insists they have. it wasnt just beingn sad cus of high school LMAO #NOT TO DOWNPLAY THAT BUT LIKE. U KNOW THE PPL I MEAN. u dont have anxiety/ocd/depression dude youre just Sad. fairly so but itsnot Disorder #but. from someone who went thru all that. IT GETS BETTER. also if ur like 13-15 ur brain hormones suck and it gets better 100% #like everything feels So Bad but its just uour brain chemicals and i am so sorry uour brain does that. BUT IT GETS BETTER I PROMISE. <3 #it doesnt make your struggles easier but you should know that it DOES get better. <3 love u #ok <3 take care guys #tobin talks

[awek-s-archived]

it sure is hard having a 50 year old child when ur 25 lol

#im tired of raising my mom i rly am it takes such an emotional toll #i love her but its gotten to the point where sometimes she will just come home or walk into a room or #yell one time and it just drains my energy immediately #and every time i have like a bad mental health day or think back abt the decades of abuse im still recovering from bc of my brother #(it only ended last year so i have a lot of recovery to do) #i remember how she basically totally ignored all of it #and only took it seriously when it started to happen to her last year as well #and the other day she was like oh i had a panic attack once and she started trying to explain what they were to me im like mom i literally #have anxiety. im mentally ill. i get panic attacks all the time. #she thinks im a weirdo for it and that i need to grow up but when SHE had it it was different #like its just a lot to deal w lmao #obviously she helps me a lot but its like it takes more to raise a kid than giving them a roof under their head i feel like #a lot of ppl forget this #and we didnt even always have a roof either not that homelessness was any of our choice #but u know what i mean #like emotionally ive been parenting my mom since i was 5 years old its really srarting to eat away at me now #aweks.txt

[branmer]

.

much as i complain about having to do stressful shit alone all the time im not even sure i'd know how to not go through things alone. ive basically been going through things alone since i was 15 and my dad died and everyone else in my family either had people they could turn to or were too busy with their own grief to deal with me. and i didn't know how to talk about it to my friends so i just, never talked to anyone about it

#personal stuff #tbf my mum has helped with other stuff over the years #she's just not very good at emotional stuff #tho she's gotten better as she's gotten older #my fam are just #generally not the type you go to for emotional support #they might help in other ways #but even that there's always this sort of resentment of having to help that makes you not want to ask #but i think the thing ive always needed but lacked in my life was some kind of emotional support #and as a result i really struggle with just feeling like i don't matter #like if i vanished no one would even notice for days or weeks #like those ppl who die alone in their flats and they don't notice until the bills stop being paid

[divorcetual]

man I dont get the placement for the fbi most wanted list. like sure drug smugglers and gang leaders i see why they'd want those ppl on the list, but like. there was a dude who killed his wife after marrying her and i mean its a horrible thing to do but it isnt rlly. warrenting the most wanted iykwim?

#like obv he needs to be caught etc etc but ppl who kill theur wives I feel arent likely to be repeat offenders to the general public rlly #jjst ppl close to them esp. other partners #and if hes on the run he doesnt rlly have any1 close to him at the moment so like #idk idk I feel like its not the same severity of crime as a mobster or w/e #this is a weird post ive gotten super into researching criminals lately

[pepprs]

bad enough that i am stuck in my life but even worse when i have to work through / around the stuckness in front of people i care about / explain it / be perceived in experiencing it. UGH!!!!!!

#purrs #i live in my childhood home i share a bedroom withy sister it hasn’t been redecorated since before we were born i don’t even have a license #ive never dated or even been liked like that by someone i know except one time ive never done like 75-80% of the things ppl my age do and im #gonna show up empty handed and empty brained to everythi ng and be seen as stupid and uncaring and whatever when really im just tired and my #life is so flat rn and i don’t have the strength to pull it up by myself and give it shape again but i have to. i don’t think i have covid ( #thank GOD) but i can say even without having ever gotten it and hopefully never getting it that it has ruined my life like genuinely. i mean #good things have come out of it too but i was already socially / emotionally stunted and then being locked down for a year and a half like l #literaly not leaving my house for anything but medical stuff until july 2021 was so PRPFOUBDLY damaging. i feel like someone has taken a the #motion blur tool i. photoshop and just drawn like a scribble over me so some parts of me are stretched to where they need to be and other pa #parts are stuck at like age idk 16 and i think i need to have most of the parts motion blurred to like… move forward! but i can’t make that #happen and i have to explain it and move around it and it’s so EMBARRASSING omg. girl help i am flowering on the wall i am blooming late i a #am hiding in my shell and i want to come out but i also DO NOT so i am cowering in fear forever and never standing up for myself or standing #up at all to be honest!! lol 😸👍 #anyways this post is brought to you by how INSANELY much i do not want to reply to a particular email in my inbox or spend my time tonight #[redacted] on express when i am already so exhausted. and if that makes me a bad person then so be it i guess i am one #* i don’t even have a LEARNERS PERMIT let alone a license. lawl <3

[vampyrluver]

Sigh. My dad realized that one of my friends is gay (i mean most of my friends r gay they just dont outwardly present as queer to the straight eye but this friend did), nd hes been so weird about it. Hes like trying to tell me i shouldnt be friends with them nd how he automatically didnt like them when he met them nd just....its been rly bumming me out.

#.txt #my dad says he not judgemental but then is the most judgemental person ever #he said he was shocked that id be friends with 'someone like that' #ive been so bummed out about it since he mentioned it bc it makes me rly depressed knowing tht he feels that way #its gotten to the point where he doesnt feel comfy letting me go out nd stuff #i mean he cant do anything abt it im 23 but he sure will make sure to let me kno how hes uncomfy #it also makes me sad bc i know already i have to forever stay in the closet #but i kinda didnt realize how homophobic he was until recently #i at least thought he wpuldnt mind interacting w gay ppl #but unfortunately hes anti interacting w gay ppl #it also sucks bc this means he can never kno the genders nd sexualties of my friends #:( #im sad basically #bc my favorite pass time is being queer #nd hanging w other queer ppl #thats all i do #all day every day #all this nd during pride month too #i rly wanna move out tbh i kinda wanna try nd get government assisted housing #i genuinely feel so uncomfortable here