#i feel like itd fix the sadness
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desperately craving being slapped rn 🥺🥺
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Anyone else feel their mental illness like lil gremlins crawling in and gnawing at your brain stem?
#karma talks#im always like 'gee golly sure glad I fixed my depression'#and then the sad heavy feeling creeps into the pit of my chest and the back of my skull#and i do like a shocked pikachu face#cuz even if you cope and support yourself and heal its still fucking theeeeere#this is cool to reblog btw itd be funny/concerning if this resonated with the tumblr girlies#also im good and fine. got my support systems. just gotta wait the bitch out
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Cw: pet death
I lost a dear friend today. Sugarbird got a foot stuck in her cage likely during a night fright and things went very poorly while I was asleep.
She was alive when I found her, and I was able to provide some comfort as her chosen partner, I think. The only emergency vet that would see birds didn't get in until 6 tonight.
I am shattered. I love you sugarbird. I'm sorry I didn't save you. I'm sorry you didn't even get your wings back before this happened, I was so excited to help you fly again.
#my sweet girl#cw pet death#she really loved me so much and i feel like a betrayed her#it really was a freak acxident#no bird has ever gotten stuck in that cage for any amount of time like that#but it was so so horrifying#ive seen so much. lots of bad stuff in a municipal shelter job#but this is taking the cake for horror#i guess its that so often i can learn from something#if it was due to my cats i couldnt be mad at them and id be sad but itd be some negligence on my part#this? i cant fix this#im replacing the cage but i know the cage really isnt the problem#just devastated
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ashlyn banner hcs !! <3
Dips her french fries in milkshake/icecream
avid reader. specifically for high fantasy and thriller novels, she likes the world building and detailed monologue, which aiden is continuously confused about.
will NEVER speak about reading.
she thinks itd ruin her reputation as the responsible one.
the only reason aiden knows about it is because of the amount of times hes broken into her house.
knows a small amount of sign language and tried to speak with ben using it.
did not realize he was just mute and deaf, so he didn't know wtf she was doing.
embarrassed herself greatly with that last one.
took ben a couple of days of various frantic and concerned gestures to let her know that it was okay.
plays rhythm games on her phone when shes tired/can't access her ddr machine.
i think if anyone saw her playing, she'd tell them it's "just for the game play" but she knows somewhere deep, deep down shes there for the anime girls.
some of their stories are just so sad, okay? she can't help but want to keep reading a bit.
// im a hashtag "ashlyn as a normal teenage girl" kind of person okay. we saw her and her father outside of the hospital.
has a growing beanie collection, but only the soft ones so its not sensory hell.
listens to pink floyd, nirvana, michael jackson, red hot chili peppers, and the smiths (when shes sad)
fan of porcelain creechures. dogs, birds, cats. i like to think shes got a little showcase somewhere of them.
logan always gives her really big bouquets of flowers after ballet recitals.
she feels a bit guilty throwing old ones away so she dries them and uses them as book marks.
borrows books from the library that she sees logan reading.
this is something she thought of after taylor started to try and teach her how to talk to people.
she thought that if she wanted to start a conversation, she'd get logan to talk about recent books hes read.
taylor brings her out for slushies at the gas station often
practically begged taylor to come over to her house when her ddr machine broke.
she was absolutely distraught.
tyler witnessed her begging and wanted to make fun of her, but the pity he felt outweighed his need to be an ass so he shrunk back into his and taylors room.
taylor fixed it and she almost cried thanking her.
tyler and ashlyn are resident judgement and shit talkers.
eventually, taylor knows all of the gossip from the popular kids/sports kid so he's got to find someone else to talk to. his first person was obviously ben because hes a great listener, but he seemed too nice to laugh at others misfortune, so when him and ashlyn teamed up together to make fun of aiden eating shit on the sidewalk after he does something dumb....he found his new target.
i don't think its particularly mean gossip, but more like your average catch-up-on-events kind of thing.
dead silence "........you know who i really hate?" kind of talk
i also think tyler and ashlyn are gym buddies.
maybe it'd take her a while to get to the point to want to hang out with him somewhere like the gym, so they usually go on runs or bike rides together.
they make aidens scrawny ass play ddr with them. ill talk more about that in his headcanons though.
#schoolbus graveyard#sbg (webtoon)#ashlyn banner#aiden clark#ben clark#logan fields#taylor hern#tyler hernan#headcanon#sbg headcanons#alex is insane about sbg#p0nk headcanons
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Benny saves reader from a zombie
When The Dead Rise (Benny Weir X Reader)
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Summary: Ethan has to take his little sister trick or treating, so of course he invites all of his friends to keep him company. Splitting up from your friends to spend time with your boyfriend ends up giving you some scares.
A/N: SO MANY THINGS TO SAY!!! 1, sorry for not posting a story in over 2 weeks, i discovered character ai messaging and became addicted to talking to josh hutcherson’s (i love that man, im so glad hes been getting more attention again, im so sad that he has a gf and is like 10+ years older than me) mike schmidt from fnaf (lowkey wondering if i should try making character chats, i think itd be fun lol). 2, thank you for 1.1k followers!!! It truly means a lot to me! 3, I still have a good handful of requests and i don’t know when they’ll all be finished, so if you’ve sent in a request that i haven't gotten to yet, im so sorry lol. 4, this feels kinda half-assed but enjoy this halloween fic even tho its fuckin november lmao
***
“Ethan, hurry up!” Benny yelled up the stairs to his best friend, who was in his room getting ready. “If we wait any longer, all the good candy’s gonna be gone!”
“Calm down, Bens.” You laughed. “We’re big kids; we can buy our own candy.”
“It’s not the same.” He whined, letting you pull him towards you by the lapels of his suit jacket. You fixed his poorly tied tie and smoothed out the fabric of his outfit. Benny wanted to be a magician this year, saying it fit perfectly. He even somehow roped you into dressing up as a magician’s assistant.
Before you could reply, there was a knock at the door. Unsure of whether it was a trick-or-treater or one of your friends, you grabbed the bowl of candy near the front entrance and opened the door. But the sight before you made you jump, some pieces of candy flying out of the bowl.
“Trick or treat!” Rory snickered behind an ugly zombie mask. It looked like the mask had been melted and worn out.
“Couldn’t you have just dressed up as a vampire?” You asked, letting Rory into the house and closing the door. “You know, with you being a vampire and all.”
“Too easy.” Rory shrugged, taking off the mask. “Besides, scaring the crap out of you is worth wearing the mask.” He grinned, and you smacked his shoulder with an eye roll.
Hearing footsteps come thundering down the stairs, you all turned around. Jane came down in a princess costume while Ethan was close behind in one of his regular outfits. You all booed him and his wardrobe.
“Boring!”
“Didn’t even try.”
“Where’s your Halloween spirit, man?”
“Guys, give me a break, okay?” Ethan sighed. It was clear he didn’t really want to go out tonight. Wanting him to at least try to get into the spirit of the holiday, you grabbed a pack of fake vampire fangs from the trick-or-treating bowl.
“Here, you can be the vampire. Now let’s go, or Jane won’t get any candy.” Hearing this, Jane raced out the door, the rest of you hot on her tail.
***
It was late at night when you all decided to stop trick or treating. Jane’s candy bag was practically bursting at the seams, and she was worn out to the point where Rory had to start carrying her. He only did it because, due to being a vampire, he was the only one strong enough to haul her around, and she promised to give him some of her candy.
“Wanna split?” Benny leaned down to whisper to you, the two of you slowing down and gradually being separated from your friends. Deciding that they probably wouldn’t mind your absence, you nodded. Benny grinned and squeezed your hand that he had been holding the entire evening before pulling you in the direction of his house.
As the two of you walked down the street, a chill ran up your spine. An October night in Canada probably wasn’t the best time to wear a costume that had a good amount of skin, but when you put the costume on, you had decided that it would be a problem for future you.
Future you was less than pleased.
Luckily, being the amazing and thoughtful boyfriend he was, Benny took off his magician’s cape and tied it around you. He must’ve enchanted it, because you were immediately warmed by the fabric. You clung onto his arm, not missing the proud smile he had when he looked down at you wearing something of his.
“Oh, gosh.” You murmured, slowing to a stop. Benny stumbled, looking around in confusion. Before he could ask what was wrong, you pointed to what awaited you just a few yards ahead.
If you knew that the Whitechapel cemetery would be on your route to Benny’s house, you would’ve gone another way. But here you were, looking at the fog-covered, fenced-up plot of land in front of you, the path that went through it looking less than inviting. Given you and your friends’ track records with supernatural and dead things, you were weary of spooky things, such as a cemetery at night. Tonight being Halloween didn’t help much.
“Come on, N/n, it’s okay.” Benny cooed, pulling you along. “Nothing’s gonna happen, I promise.”
“How can you be so sure?” You asked, squeezing his arm.
“I’ll protect you, babe.”
“Oh, great, so we’re both dead.” You half-joked, and Benny gave you a fake offended look.
“Rude.” You got to the fence, and you paused again. Benny looked back and sighed; it was as if he could read your mind before you protested. “Going through the cemetery instead of around is the quickest way home, Y/n. We’ll speedwalk.”
After a deep breath, you nodded, and you both ventured through the graveyard. You clung to Benny as if your life depended on it. For all you knew, it did. The aura surrounding you as you walked spooked Benny a bit, but he did his best to put on a brave face for you.
Before you knew it, you were almost at the other side of the cemetery. Relief filled you as the fog faded just enough to show you the exit.
“Come on, let’s get out of here.” You say, a pep in your step now. But for some reason, Benny pulled on his cape that was around your shoulders. You looked back in confusion.
It wasn’t Benny, you realized. Because he was standing next to you, not behind you.
Behind you was a hideous, groaning creature that looked like it had been decaying for years. You wouldn’t have been surprised if it had crawled out of one of the graves you and Benny walked by.
“Zombie!” You shouted, making Benny jump. You tried to run, but the creature’s decaying hand had a death grip on the cape you were wearing, the opposing forces almost choking you.
Benny grabbed the string that tied the cape around you and somehow ripped it apart. It was probably the sudden adrenaline that gave him the strength to do that and then pick you up when you were finally free. Tossing you over his shoulder, Benny ran out of the graveyard while you both freaked out about what you saw.
Over your squeals and shouts, you didn’t hear the laughing that came from the place you were fleeing from. The zombie dropped the cape and ripped off its face, revealing a cackling Rory. But his laughs were suddenly cut short when he heard a rustle in a nearby bush. Realizing that being alone in the cemetery was becoming too creepy for him, Rory sped away.
When you reached Benny’s house and called your friends, you told them all about the terrifying encounter you and Benny had with the dead. During your storytelling, you didn’t notice Rory having a slight grin on his face the entire time.
#agaypanic#benny weir#benny weir x reader#my babysitter's a vampire#my babysitter's a vampire x reader
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ur literally so right bc from like. 11 to 17 i was horifically depressed and barely showered once a week never brushed my teeth etc and i dont know how people can laugh and joke like itd quirky bc all i feel for my younger self is just sorrow and pity. like yes i got better but you couldnt waterboard my old hygiene habits out of me, even back then i was embarrased and ashamed like gotdamn.
SAME, for me it was ~13-23 and i will Never go into detail of how bad it got, i think back to it for a second and get a sinking guilt and shame feeling in my stomach and that’s how it SHOULD be! it’s unhealthy and not right to live that way and you should be embarrassed about it so you eventually want to fix it and recover and become a better healthier version of yourself. i feel nothing but pity for people who choose to revel in that kind of life in order to cope. it’s sad and they need a wake up call badly
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what are your thoughts on elsa/reinhard? I feel like they’d be a fun pairing.
OH ABSOLUTELY theyd be fun!! im really really open to most ships (yeah, even the toxic ones, even the problematic ones, etc etc, its fiction, rezero is ripe with a Ton of complicated character dynamics, i'll find the relationship interesting if theres narrative depth/potential behind it - just to make that clear :o !! i obviously do not condone that irl of course).
but yeah anyway!! yes definitely i think elsa/reinhard would be fun. you could explore it in all sorts of ways - i mean, elsa's the vampire here, reinhard's a monster for. various reasons. theres also other details like how. um. well reinhard's Immortal, so that means Infinite Guts for elsa!! and i think reinhard would be happy to at least make Someone happy T^TT he'd be like "i can just give the bowel hunter my guts over and over again and she'll be nice to me and not kill anyone else also unless theyre very very bad people? good deal :) new friend!!" or something LMAO. dudes starved for company and uh you could interpret elsas reaction in different ways. i feel like i dont know her that much atm though but i think she'd be amused yeah. i mean. infinite guts.... she gets the sword saint..... they can fight each other whenever also :)... and also meili likes the guy (she literally has a sword saint doll) so. its win win. elsa could be going "i could make him A Bit worse :)" and reinhard could be going "i could fix her :) ooh new little sister too!!" or something lajdflsjf. sorry im mentioning meili a lot when this is an elsa/reinhard ask but shes important okay. elsa-meili are a package deal and meili would have an Interesting dynamic with reinhard.
on a more serious note though... reinhard is also the best person to have if you want capella/"mother" to be destroyed. which probably factors into meili's fixation on reinhard. and also all three of them have this shared motif in their lives of Lack of Control. between elsa's backstory, meili's backstory, reinhard's backstory, it's. Something. alright. a lot of trauma to go around!! they can bond over that T^T and i think elsa and meili would have. Interesting Reactions with reinhard... the pristine powerful hero is actually powerless? thats. sad. and pathetic. and sad. but hey..... he can join the dark side too. and help us maybe... if that makes sense hah. im just spitballing ideas here pfft.
but yeah in all seriousness itd be interesting T^T maybe they could make their own weird uncanny dysfunctional trio together hah. they all got. Weird Stuff going on because they all have issues with intimacy also for Various Reasons and in Various Different Ways, so thatd be interesting to explore too!! i think theyd make each other simultaneously better and worse!! and also reinhard is. 1000% giving up those guts to elsa i dont see any other way this is going. depending on where you wanna take this though she might want like. New Guts if she gets tired of reinhard's aljdflsadjf. or maybe she likes it because she gets to see his body healing itself again and again and shes like woagh. whole new guts. :) meili can get like a little special function on her reinhard doll where his guts can fall out!!! elsa and reinhard made sure to help with the finishing touches of course <3
yeah so thats what i think!! elsa/reinhard would be very horribly funny i absolutely support this ship. <3 ty for the ask :D
#rezero#re:zero#elsa granhiert#reinhard van astrea#meili#i fucking forgot how to spell meilis last name so i wont try that rn aljdsflsdjf#ask#*reinhard voice* i think that maybe you should both be focused less on bloodshed and guts. .....it makes you happy? and you like me? hm.#well. as long as you only do stuff to me or evil bad guys :) will you be my friends then? :O
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can we just appreciate how great the word heartwrenched is?
it gives exactly the idea of a fucking house sitting on your heart, like you cant breathe by how much it hurt you, it makes the sound of being heartless not because youre angry, but becase its away for fixing and you dont know how long it will take to fix it back.
like theres a fist holding on it for dear life but in doing so your life is being squeezed out of it, and it hurts, it physically hurts because the other idiot running ourselves decided itd be a great idea to turn our emotional pain into physical pain; so all that grief, sadness, pain, anger and wahtever other emotion too big to describe not only messes up your brain, it messes up your whole body.
and maybe you cant process it all but its still there and it hurts.
i think heartwrenched is the final stage of sadness, of pain, of grief, of whatever emotion we labeled as "bad" but is actually just part of us and proves that we love something, because being heartwrenched proves that we love (or loved) something or someone so much that when that is no longer there, or its broken in some way, you feel the pain, and that pain is so strong that it reflects on our bodies, on our other emotions, on our life.
heartwrencehd is like getting a lung pulled away from you, and even if somehow youre still surviving youre not okay.
heartwrenched may be the longest fucking word to describe sadness and terribly easy to mess up writing, it may not be the happiest word ever, but i like it way better than happy.
heart-wrenching changes in heartwrenched even if the dictionaries dont have it in them.
heartwrenched is a beautiful word and i love it.
#heartwrenched#not heartwrenched atm#maybe a little#or maybe im just being a drama queen#but i was inspired#so i wrote this#heartwrenching and flabbergasted are literally so cool#aloof is also a cool word#ricochet is also a really cool word#shall is also a cool word#there are too many really-cool-but-not-used-enough-words in this language#what a loss#writerblr#writing#words words words#random inspiration
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the ask game stuff..001 for N nd doll (giggles
GO FUCK YOURSELF .
but thank uou... anime berdly emoji . ill answer...FOR NOW
001 | send me a ship and I will tell you:
when I started shipping it if I did: VERY RECENTLY ACTUALLY id say within the last like two weeks. ive always loved doll and always loved n but then i realized like. oh huh i connect alot with n and want to make out with doll . boom. its like borderline selfship at this point its cringe as fuck but let me do whatever i want.
my thoughts: surprisingly i don't have as many thoughts on them as i did but i feel like. because of how much of a foil doll is to uzi i think thats the word it would be like. IDK i feel like for doll it'd help to understand the 'humanity' of the dds. if she witnesses a disassembly drone killing war machine trip over his own tail or bump his head into a doorframe and wince and laugh and talk and hug with gentle arms and do things that she specifically reprogrammed herself NOT to do so she'd have a better chance to kill her worst enemy and avenge her parents... she would short circuit.
to actually get to the point of not killing him on sight would take a while or lots of coercing via ... lizzy? or hell maybe even uzi im not sure. unless they had an individual encounter (which, you know, could totally happen! doll out in the wastes and n is on a solo hunt, you know her ass was following them.) that lead to a stalemate, i'm not sure how they'd even meet. HM OK NOW IM THINKING ABOUT THIS. either way tho n has a habit of befriending insane drones (or like... smoochin depending on how you see enzi tho i see them as platonic) and i think he could. Not fix her but he could be there for her bless. and again i think she could help him be not a doormat 💛 also stupid hc i had aboit them i hv always thought doll to have like... a freakishly good memory. which, works perfectly paired with n because like .you know. his memory prahblems . dolls ass can remember the angle of your arm when you were like fucking sitting on a chair on the 13th of april last year or some shit like she PAYS ATTENTION even if she doesn't often share her input... which is also a good thing bcos n is super inclusive always. n voice DOLLLL LOOK WE ARE DOING A THING!!!! :D & shes just like. sighs okay (comes ova 2 him) and eventually.. i think itd get to the point where she can go do shit on her own without being explicitly invited YAY
What makes me happy about them:
gotta bring up the Me & My Wife shit again bcos its borderline selfship at this point. i just think its interesting and awesome I REALLY HOPE THEY HAVE AN INTERACTION... tho i doubt it; i think they might fight or smt in ep 7 WHICH HONESTLY I WOULDNT BE SAD ABOUT my goil needs moe screenrtime
What makes me sad about them: doll probably hasnt experienced like. affection in fucking ages & frankly n really hasnt either. i think they'd hold hands and talk about their kill counts. also i just realized they both kind of went thru a period of time tht was little socialization only KILL. doll had school & lizzy, sure, but also living in an apartment with ur parents' & dozens of others' corpses its like. tht fucks w u. but the interesting thing about them is… n and doll don't experience guilt over Killing And Eating People the same way i think. like. just for example v and uzi do (atleast in my perception). like v couldnt cope with the knowledge she had so she fell extra EXTRA hard into her role (atleast using her maid self as an accurate portrayal of her old self) and uzi has never ever experiuenced anything like that before so its fucking terrifying to her. however, with doll and n… they dont percieve it the same way. we understand that both of them are capable of guilt but it takes a very strong connection for them to experience it. ep one; n feels bad for making uzi argue with khan & ruining the card game. does he say a single thing about killing and eating half a dozen workers? No! because it's natural to him. there's nothing out of the ordinary in that situation except for the fact that he was "rude" by interrupting someone & "rude" by causing an argument. yes, he's very sweet and patient and all of the above but he doesn't see killing as really a BAD THING… he sees it as a necessity; as him being useful, higher numbers means hes doing a good job. but, really, that's all he's known. he doesn't remember being a worker. after meeting uzi he's capable of realizing… oh, these are living creatures! i feel a little bad now. but the guilt doesn't come crashing down onto him and leave him utterly devastated at his kill count, it just sits there. it festers. similarly, in my opinion, to how doll reacts to guilt. we see her as this unstoppable force at every point until the end of promening. she knows her goals, she knows what she has to do to get to them, and has shaped herself into the perfect killing machine to do what she needs, removing all forms of guilt from her person to make sure it doesn't get in the way. though, again, it comes bubbling to the surface back from where she buried it so deeply under all her anger when uzi pops her emo little head in. she isnt instantly all "oh my god, what have i done?" but it eats away at her all of this fucking time, she has been killing and hurting her kind, believing she was the only one who could possibly shoulder this burden and deal justice to those who deserved it. but now that she knows she isn't alone… it festers.
things done in fanfic that annoys me: i've seen like three n/doll fics literally EVER but i'd honestly say. major mischaracterization of doll... i feel like doll gets mischaracterized more than n? n's behaviours are easy to understand and read with a surface level understanding because he has more screentime and again ON THE SURFACE looks relatively simple. i think a huge thing in some fanfics that bugs me is that. imitation of speech patterns = perfect characterization WHICH IS NOT TRUE... but also understandably makes it difficult to do with doll because she doesn't talk alot, while N talks a LOT so it leads to a heavy imbalance in mischaracterization. just because the characters would fucking say that, doesnt mean they would Fucking Do That
apparently there is a word limit on tumblr. pleasantly surprised this will be two posts instead
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oh pete should definitely be the one to kill vegas' dad that would only intensify his obsession for him
hiiiii anon!!!
no listen. ive already talked about my absolute NEED in pete being the one to kill vegas' dad in cold blood here. but i guess i wanna be a little bit more fucked up about it. so here goes.
that Bastard. vegas' dad. has got so much POWER over vegas that even in his absence, vegas is embodying him. i've mentioned about how vegaspete perfectly emulate what cycles of abuse look like. vegas' dad abuses vegas and that leads to vegas abusing pete.
the show hasnt even GONE into the sexual abuse and sexual violence that vegas' dad put vegas through when vegas was still just a CHILD, getting him to sleep with grown ass men to fix and secure deals, but yeah, in my head, show! vegas is also a victim of sexual exploitation and sexual abuse too, bc the behaviours he shows .... feel too well orchestrated. too well practiced and tried out and experimented and experienced and lived. and it will not have me surprised one bit at all if vegas has done this to other guys too that he's slept with.
and in a way doing this gives him his turn. its his turn to have some power and control which he didnt have as a kid when he was being abused physically, mentally and sexually.
his dad did not stop it even once. and vegas has spent his LIFE sheltering macau from it all, so that macau doesnt go through the same things he did, just like an older sibling would do.
and you know what, there's gotta/gonna reach a point where vegas can't carry on any longer. he is gonna become exhuasted and pete even SAID that to him yesterday (is this the way you're supposed to be living? its upto you vegas, its your choice.). and yesterday we SAW vegas talk back to his dad and say to him (you think i wanted to be your son?).
and so vegas takes all that hurt and pain and history and hopelessness and helplessness for his situation and his anger and rage and grief and turmoil and sadness out onto pete. he once again calls him a pet. bc vegas himself has been used by his dad as one. pete's line about emotional projection? about being human and having feelings? vegas is the EXACT other side of it to their coin. its just that vegas doesnt see a way out of this cycle, but pete does. and vegas so BADLY would want to find some kinda loophole too, if only he could.
and its WEIRD. bc when vegas said to pete that just bc we had sex doesnt mean you can run your mouth, it somehow so very intrinsically paralleled with when pete said to vegas that his dad still didnt stop beating him up despite pete finally winning his boxing fight. like. even that is a cycle of abuse they've gone round. where pete is made to feel absolutely useless and worthless, his freedom and agency, the one thing he VALUES, completely taken away from him.
and this isnt about reclaiming it back again. pete cannot allow himself to go through that ever again. its about putting an absolute end. a FULL STOP to it. and if its about being with vegas, then in this case, it is about digging out that root and cutting it before it festers any longer. and oh god i SO badly need it to be pete to be the one that does it. he's got absolutely no attachments to that man. none. and itd just be swift and clinical. one bullet is all it'll take to blow his brains out or put a hole in his chest. just like how vegas' dad wanted vegas to kill pete, and handed the bullets in the gun to him to do so.
and pete sees it. HE SEES what vegas has the ability to be. and he SEES just what ONE visit from his father does to him. and he SEES what vegas needs. and what vegas doesnt need.
and what vegas doesnt need, is his father.
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tim and cassie for the headcanons!
for cassie
Sexuality Headcanon: lesbian
Gender Headcanon: transmasc, in a butch lesbian way
A ship I have with said character: cassierose, cissiecassie,, she and kiran could be cute too i just dont have much to say about it since kiran got very little time to shine, i believe in it tho
A BROTP I have with said character: cassie & tim!! theyre messy and they get each other. im a loud hater of tt03 but i do think about them during that grief era a lot, horrid relationship but very compelling as a trauma response. AND theyre best friends. also cassie & artemis i miss themm they were so fun, cassie & diana too i feel like they really dropped cassie from wonder woman comics a while back and its never been the same.. but theyre sisters<3
A NOTP I have with said character: cant imagine cassie with men.. i appreciate the mess between her and tim for fun and i think her and kons relationship is important to their characters, just not for actual like. romance reasons. but i guess these count
A random headcanon: i think she should play football not american football just u know the vibes. yes i think shed kill it in yellowjackets
General Opinion over said character: cassie my best friend cassie i just finished going through my reading list for her and im so sad she never got a longer solo bc we get so little about her civilian life and the lack thereof. i think the choice to have her commit to being a hero full time and living at the tower is v interesting (and a shame that rebirth brushed that away just to say shes going to college and thats it) and i would love to see her deal with that and how not having a civiliain identity would impact her life further, also who she wants to be after wonder girl.. this is less of an opinion and just me rambling but agh cassie. she makes me sad and sometimes she is just like me fr
tim
Sexuality Headcanon: bi! as he is<3
Gender Headcanon: i think ive been very loud about my transfem tim thoughts but that might just be in my head bc i think about him a lot. anyway its real to me. i know her. if it seems like i default to cis guy tim in my fics its just bc he hasnt had his gender crisis yet, trust. i do also like the idea of a more gnc cis guy tim which might or might not lead to him being genderfluid. much to think about
A ship I have with said character: i often default to timkon but i really like him with danny, lonnie and tam too
A BROTP I have with said character: cass, cassie, helena, dick, i also would have liked to see more of him and rose without the uhh very weird writing going on with them in tt03 and tt cold case. tim and steph in their divorced era specifically are also very dear to me
A NOTP I have with said character: whatever people are doing with fanon timkon which is mostly bc of what they do to kon but my god the woobifying of tims character is also so bad. all the many incest ones but a special aside for j/ytim bc its so painfully ooc they would not fucking say that. my god
A random headcanon: well car guy tim is very canon but also i think hed be fixing his own car like, for fun. he would get a car he can tinker with specifically. in some au i think itd also be fun if he did car racing
General Opinion over said character: hes fine
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Tw ed and possible depression?
I feel sick when I think about if I'm depressed or not. I dont like using that word, I havent earned it. I have a loving family and the best girlfriend in the world. I dont wanna die, I just dont wanna exist. I dont wanna do anything except smoke weed, Which helps things not seem so dim. It makes me feel less. Bored I guess. I sont wanna do anything. I dont wanna game, I dont wanna talk to my family, I dont wanna talk to my friends, I dont wanna talk to my girlfriend, I dont wanna draw, I dont wanna do my work, I dont wanna get out of bed. But I do. I know people who are depressed who cant make themself gwt out of bed.
I feel like a faker. I cant tell anyone I feel this way because it'd be unnecessary burden to them, And their lives are already hard enough without me adding to it. I don't want to tell anyone the bad stuff because then they'd think the same way, But mt life isnt even that bad. Its hard to say or send anything because my body just. Doesnt let me. I'll be trying to post a silent cry for help and automatically exit out and cancel the post. I'll write it all up and instead of hitting send I delete it all.
I dont even eat half the time anymore. I wait until its unbearable and affecting me to eat. I used to tell my gf because when she tells me to eat I do, But I stopped. I dont wanna bother her. Nobody notices either, Since in our house we usually only eat dinner together, And that's if my dad doesnt have to work. He leaves at 3 o'clock every day so its not like he can see if I'm eating or not.
Im doing better in school now, I was trying but. Now I'm not. It doesnt matter though. I dont even remember what grade I'm in. Being homeschooled means I never have to see or speak to anyone. Its what I wanted anyways. Less work. Less hours. Less effort lower goals yet higher outcomes. I had 3 F's almost constantly in school, Now I only have one, And the rest are A's and B's.
Its easy when you can search anything and everything up. If I have an essay I read the wiki page for whatever its about and I've only gotten 100%'s in english so far. My overall grade is a 100% for english actually
I just dont understand. I dont hate myself do I? I thought i finally loved myself. I thought i finally fixed it i fixed myself i was finally better i was normal. Theres no reaskn i should be feeling so desprately lost and so alone nd so. Sad
I'm sorry. I know this isnt the blog for this, I know this is for confessions but this is the only place I can say any of this. I couldnt tell anyone in my life that I dont wanna exist, Or that I think my brain snapped, Or that I have serious problems. I hate this. I just want someone to know and care. I just want someone to notice something is wrong. Itd make it so much fucking easier if I coulrnt jide behind the lie of 'im okay'
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Abbacchio i love you so much not in a weird way i would never be able to see u without bruno but you are so real and slay and i wish i could give you a hug itd fix all my problems i think, you look like a good hugger youre almost a foot taller than me, i hope youre okay i wish for you to never feel a tinge of sadness ever again
... Thanks.
-Abbacchio
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Hi!!! I just read how do you sleep at night, your WandaJericho fic, and I'm having so many feels right now!!! Wanda's decision to getting a break from her relationship with Jericho made me like, oh wanda!
Her getting constantly anxious that nothing big is happening after their semi breakup was so sad. Girl is having grief in her romantic and maternal life since Vision's disassembling. It happens in reality too, when you are having constant drama and trauma in your life, you can't just suddenly adapt to peace. And you just start creating the drama and the unstable ness, whether you want it or not. Self Sabotage, or craving drama, you name it.
But the consequences that come with it—what always happens when she loves too much, the things that get ruined, the life she tries so hard to keep under control—it’s all so paralyzing. It’s as paralyzing as this touch. Oh dear!
And Jericho was so supportive! He was extremely right to be hurt, but I think he must have gotten an inkling later(maybe pietro?) about why is she behaving like that. I loved their Astral plane conversations, and "simply souls waving each other hello." This is so good!!
Also pietro!!! I loved how he just knew why Wanda is behaving like this. Self Sabotage indeed. The twin sense must have gotten activated. He is actually more emotionally intelligent about people he loves and cares, so that wasn't a surprise when he knew what wanda didn't want to admit yet. Also I knew it when he said he likes Jericho! Honorable mention Wanda's thought on how easy is to fight with pietro. Hope next years mini does twins justice.
Also Happy New Year!!
🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 happy new year!! firstly thank you so much for such a lovely ask it really means a lot that you'd take the time to let me know you liked my writing, i really appreciate it!!!! 🥺🫶 already made my 2024 a great year!!
second AHHHHHH THANK YOU.. I LOVE WANDAJERICHO SO MUCH. ever since SW #9 when they reveal they're inexplicably exes / still have feelings but with "no strings" i've been like. oh?? what?? 😭 at first i was like, oh thats funny they dont strike me as characters who'd do No Strings Attached thing. but then i gave it more thought and started thinking of ways they COULD be and wanda essentially growing uneasy and anxious over a relationship that was going so well, when she is so used to things going wrong, came to me and i was like ohhh yes... thats it... now we got it 🫵 i can see her cutting things out before them getting "ruined". i really wanted it to be like, this relationship is *fine* and thats whats freaking her out!!
when i wrote this i wrote jericho with the intention that he knew exactly why she did it, but knowing it didnt change that she did hurt him, and the whole crutch of this story being that theyre both unequivocally very in love with each other still. still the case does remain that jericho is also very committed to his duties in the academy, esp after everything they went through - something wanda would also know firsthand. i think all those student deaths/the death of doctor strange/mandatory other marvel events would take its toll on anyone tbh i can see them trying to put at least a pause on everything while they try to fix the world. As Usual. i didnt write jericho immediately taking back wanda too because, yknow, it takes two to tango! BUT THEYRE SO GONNA WORK IT OUT. BECAUSE THEY LOVE EACH OTHER THATS THE WHOLE POINT.. THEY NEVER STOPPED..IN MY HEAD. CAUSE I SAID SO AND THEYRE MY EMOTIONAL SUPPORT SHIP...
and AHH THANK YOU.. pietro in that fic was my favorite part 🫶 he loves wanda and hes really good friends with jericho of course hed have a deeper understanding of whats going on! i think pietro is a lot more emotionally intelligent than what most writers give him credit for. and if theres anyone who knows about self sabotaging or recognizing it on someone itd be him, and ESPECIALLY on wanda. defo one of my fave scenes to write in that fic 🥹 MAXIMOFF TWINS MY BELOVED..
Anyway this was a really long reply just to say that thank you SO much and this ask made my whole year and i am really grateful that you liked my fic!!!!!!! i liked writing it too!!! 💛💛💛
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yea... yea.. i deserve this.. i came to another country hoping itd fix all my issues but ofc it just excerbated them. dont kniw hiw to talk to ppl, i only know how to isatw. i wish to minimize myself but in the process of making myself small i become even more of a nuisance. so sit on the balcony.. crying my eyes out. hoping someone will notice how sad i am and and comfort me. ive always been such a useles sperson, such a coward. but i always feel like if i cry in front of others im even more dead weight. i want to go home but i also dont want to grow up and find a job. i always leaned into the idea that if i lived aborad id fit in more but thats very obviously not the case. how am i supposed to love the rest of my life like this. im only 22
i know i have so much time. bit god.. i want it to be easy now. so many ppl help me every day and i never repay them
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Day 134: Sunday May 14, 2023 - “Saying Goodbye to a Regal Friend”
We knew it was coming, but it wasn’t until after dinner last night that I became aware, that it was coming soon. And as much as we’ve mentally prepared for the idea that our boy Havarti wouldn’t be with us much longer, we were both shocked that today we’d have to say goodbye. He was regal in all ways, from where he chose to sit in the most comfortable possible cushiest spot, to the way he’d wash his face like a cat, and I’d like think that he chose to go out in the most regal way he could; after William was in bed, on a Saturday night when Audrie was at work, just me and him. No one had to choose his time to go. He waited until I lifted him up into the bed, one last time, where he’d spent so much time with me over the last 9 years, both day and night. And while I spooned him and comforted him, and called his Mama to let him know he was really struggling, he stretched all four his legs out straight in his classic way, then relaxed and stopped breathing. I had to let Audrie go for a moment, to check him and make really sure and think about how I would share this sad news with Audrie. The day had come. Our prince had passed.
I wrapped him up, and tucked him in with his baby blue puppy blanket that he had first come into Audrie’s life with. I closed his eyes and sat there with him for a time, comforting him as I imagined his good soul slowly transitioning and saying goodbye to our world, our home. It was a sad finality to it when I pushed his eyes shut, something that will always stick with me. Havarti’s eyes were always so alive and expressive, and though they’d been harder to read in his old age, he was still in there - even tonight. His eyes were always so beautiful, as brown and bright as his young fur and I thought about how beautiful he was as I closed those eyes and said goodbye. A very handsome dog. I thought he was beautiful the first time I saw him at that coffee shop, just like the love at first sight I experienced with his mama a few days before. Strong, athletic, lean, with a dark healthy brown coat. Even his breed sounded regal - Rhodesian Ridgeback. Incredibly handsome dog and everyone commented on it every where we went. And it was the least of his best qualities.
I told him I appreciated everything he’s done for me, and how I hoped I always made him feel like the big dog in the house; Audrie’s first love and I knew my place. I told him that I hoped he knew how much I appreciated him and that I was generous with my love for him. I told him I was sorry for all those times we’d fought and I’d made him shake, and I shed my first tear with that confession. I thought about that first Christmas, and getting him a well deserved steak, that morphed into piggy platter for his birthday which became a yearly tradition. It crossed my mind that I knew this last December it’d be his last and how I worked hard to get the board fixed just for him, knowing itd be a big deal. Still, it all seems too fast now. I patted his head, and promised to still do a piggy platter in December to celebrate him. And we’d all enjoy it. We’ll think of him every time we all take a birthday platter off his board.
I patted his head and thought about Audrie and how bad she’ll feel about not being here. And had the realization that this was maybe the way he intended it. It would be like him - not one for the center of attention, wanting to be sweet and protective of his mama, knowing how sad and traumatic it’d be if it had to be a production with needles and the like. “You did this for her, didn’t you.” I respected that, and understood my responsibility for him. I remember how he’d been there for me when I was storming with work real bad in 2019, the time I tried to quit my job, and Havarti brought my stuffy friends for comfort, and never left my side. I told him then that Id never forget that, and thought about how some day Havarti would pass, and how Id be there for him just like he was for me then, and promised him to hold up my end of that and surround him with love and peace now, and to help him do this the best way he could and try to help his Mama understand why this was best. It was an honor to be by his side as he passed and to make sure he got all the respect he earned.
He was a special dog, I knew, from the moment I met him. His sweet mama had trained him well - which was my first clue at how good she’d be raising a family. He knew tricks and commands which was no surprise because it always felt like he knew exactly what we were saying, all the time. I wouldn’t have been surprised if all of a sudden he’d bust out the ABCs. You could talk to Havarti for more than just sit and come here, you really could feel like you were having a whole conversation with him. He’d army crawl, put his head down and relax, and best of all - he’d give you a big high Ten, his best trick; things just havent been the same these last couple years when his hind legs couldn’t spring him up for that trick anymore. He would give me so so so many Tens while cheering on his favorite sports team, the Blues. This dog loved playoff hockey, mostly for the treats-for-goals deal we worked out, but I imagined he just loved seeing me happy, because he was that kind of dog. He could not catch a tater tot, no matter how much we’d practice, but never stopped trying as if he understood the entertainment value of watching him chomp at the air; “its ok buddy, I could never catch a fly ball either.” He really really struggled with his relationship with walking on a leash, but always knew how to reign it in when a child was a the reigns and that always frustrated me when he would pull me around with all of his weight....”I know you can do better if you wanted to!” As difficult as he always was on the leash, some of my favorite memories were those cold nights and mornings in Denver where Id have to take him out and practiced going all the way to the park and all the way back with no leash. We made a lot of walks to that dog park and back in all kinds of weather, I suppose he was trying to teach me how to parent. And even when we lived way up there on that fifth floor with no dog door, this regal man was above having any kind of accident in the house. Smarter and better behaved than most people. What the hell would he ever need a leash for? This was a dog that would get excited (red rocket level excited) to go the Vet, and it was probably because his vet Dr. Nightengale, loved him and thought of him as a very special dog, and he would know. And the vet wasn’t the only one that noticed...every dog sitter we ever had just thought Havarti was the best dog, even offering to watch him and take him for free - really it was their pleasure, they’d say. I am sure if we tried, we could probably even get them to pay us to come spend time with our wonder dog, in the crocheted sweaters from Grandma, though we never tried. Some dogs are special like that, and I patted his head now again, telling him over and over again that he was a good dog. The only thing I could think to say as I reflected back on all these nice memories of him. Just such a good kind dog. He weathered every funny hat, and funny costume we threw on him, and embraced it. His winters as our Reindog was by far my favorite. And as playful and lightheared and go with the flow he was, by far and away, his most special trait was his gentleness. As regal as he was, distinguished as he looked, he was the most loving gentle animal. As soon as I moved in, I noticed something different about this dog. He actually played with his stuffed toys like they were his friends. He didn’t chew or destroy them. I patted his head now and remembered that silly stinky gross little mouse that Havarti moved from Arizona to Michigan to Denver and back. I am sure its around here in The Finca somewhere. How gentle he was with that little play mouse, probably says everything that really needed to be said about Havarti. He took care of all his little buddies. He loved any toy with a face on it. It was really wild witnessing this when we lived at the 5th Street House and he’d carry his toys outside in the morning and bring them back in at the end of the day. Did that just happen? Oh yes, itd happen every day. I swore he was some kind of wizard reincarnated as a dog. As gentle as he was with his toys, he was even more lovey with us. Loved to cuddle, and even tolerated when Mama picked him up to hold him like a baby....I swear it was his favorite thing, even as he got older. You could see it on his face. “This is so embarrassing but I love it” As handsome and smart as he was, what made him so lovable was how quirky he was. He’d go coo-coo for Dungeness crab from Pikes Place, was an All-Star at the “Find It” game, enjoyed the water safely from the beach, and was shameless in his desire to never be in trouble, even when chewing through his own rope leash. Just a special dog, all around. He brought our family so much joy, and I missed the first 6 years! I can only imagine how full Audrie’s heart must be with all those extra special memories of him as a puppy and growing into his clumsy body with all those legs.
We could have just let Havarti cruise to the finish line and enjoy his old man years, but instead Audrie had the idea of getting him a puppy to help keep him young. I mean the logic made sense, right? Maybe Havarti could teach a young pup the ropes and pass along his learned wisdom and calm since we couldn’t afford to clone him (an idea Audrie actively entertained for a time). That plan didn’t work of course, with Huckleberry just being wired totally different than the old man. But Havarti, out of love for his mama, gave all his best effort and patience in being thrown into being a big brother after 12 years as an only child. He taught his brother how to play bitey face, graciously shared his toys and watched as Huck destroyed them, tried to show Huck how to walk on a leash properly though he himself had never figured it out, and where to poop so as to make it easier on us (fun remembering getting frustrated with Havarti when Huck was slow to the house training!) Havarti probably kept things together way more than we would ever know, like any big brother would, and probably got a good kick out of every time we left the house and joked about Huckleberry being in charge. As much time as these two spent together, I have to assume that years from now, with Huck as the only dog in the house, we’ll notice something and think “Havarti showed him that” - I’ll be real impressed if Huck ever learns “put your head down” but I just hope that just a little bit of that goodness sunk in, for all those times these two slept and dreamed and snored butt to butt. Its one of the most shining examples of Havarti’s regal charm, the way that he accepted and tolerated his little brother, afterall its going to be Huck thats going to have to patrol this house and keep us safe now that he’s gone...and its almost like he knew that, so he poured as much love into Huck as we tried to. He was a great brother for Huck knowing that he’d have an important job ahead. He had a legacy to try to carry and live up to, especially after years of Havarti spoiling us as dog parents.
And then suddenly, Huck was the middle child and we had a baby in the house and one of the greatest gifts that Havarti gave our family was to hang around with us these last two years to give us memories of him with William. As time goes on, I imagine it will be those photos of William with Havarti we’ll cherish the most. From that first Halloween where they both dressed as Lions, to being the first dog William walked, I am so grateful for the overlap of our very special dog with our very special boy. William learned to be gentle with old man Havarti, to give sweet taps and be empathetic and say Good Dog. William’s first sign was Dog, his first words were “bow wow” and if he grows up to be a dog lover, it will be in part because of the contribution Havarti made to the wiring in his heart. William was sure to say goodnight to Havarti every night and give him a little head bonk and a kiss, and this last night was no different, even while Havarti laid there suffering, I could imagine he was happy to see William’s smiling sleepy face to say goodnight, like he was waiting for that - within 30 minutes, he’d be gone. While Huckleberry will always be William’s dog, Havarti became extra vigilant around the house with a baby boy in the house, and gave extra care for his mama who now split her love amongst the four of us men in her life, knowing that he’d always be the one she’d have to worry about the least. Her most steady love. He would now patiently wait for his affection and loves, and eventually move on without complaint to sleeping on the couch in the living room now that life had grown up on us all and we shared the bed not with our extra-leggy-fur-baby anymore, but with an actual baby instead. And he didn’t bother her with any extra tasks or things to do in these last couple years, just continued to exist in his routine, soaking in the naps, and the comfortable quiet spots in the house, cruising out his final days. We were all lucky to have Havarti’s love, but Audrie was lucky to be loved by him most of all. He understood William to be his Mama’s other son, and rather than look for a play date (he got more than enough of that from Huckleberry), he accepted his old role as guard dog, and would often setup shop for watch in the nursery to be close to the action (though it could also be argued it was the coolest room in the house and the rug was comfortable, after-all Havarti was no dummy).
One thing is for absolutely sure; Havarti was always a good car dog; down to go anywhere, just like his itinerant parents. He drove cross country twice including once with his two brothers in the back seat with him. No problem - he set the tone for the other two. He joined us on our every move, as we searched for a place to lay our roots. From the little two-room temporary place where we had no furniture, to the snows of Denver where we had to drag (and sometimes carry if it was too cold) him up and down three floors of stairs several times a day to use the bathroom (and where we registered his poop and him as an ESA!). Back to Tucson in an Airbnb, then a rental with a perfect backyard for him, and then finally to his retirement home here on Baker, complete with his own private dining room. The Finca, his final resting place. Everywhere we went, he was happy to settle in, and be happy. - we literally never had to worry about Havarti. The only thing that would ever rattle him would be if the local kitten tried to eat his food! We got pretty good about getting him into Hotels out on the road, and he was always really great about quietly staying under the radar. He was very judicious with his bark, always. From New Mexico to Arkansas Hot Springs, Havarti was a good well travelled dog. He saw a lot more of this country out the back window of my Prius than most people will ever see. My favorite trip that I ever took with him was when we went North and camped outside Flagstaff on a cold 9-dog-night. I warmed two cans of dog food over the flame for him so that he could eat like a king, before cuddling with me in my sleeping bag to keep me warm. The next day we’d hike up to see the Aspens. I remember thinking how nice it was to share that with him, and as we watched the sunset at sno-bowl, I swore he enjoyed it more than I did. Just like that one sunset at the Tetons. An aesthetic voyager in his own right. He was a great travel mate, and durable sidekick. I appreciated him for that. From the Flat Irons to the White Sands and Great Sand Dunes, off leash at Soldier Trail or Nordhouse Dunes, Havarti was never an anchor, and I respected him always as a fellow voyager.
And now for that last voyage. I remember thinking just a week ago, as William and I strolled Havarti and Huck around the neighborhood, that this will probably be Havarti’s last walk. I stopped and let him pee on every fire hydrant and tried to not tell him to keep up, just let him enjoy it, and go at his speed in the nice cool morning air. I thought how selfish it was to wish for him to stay for one last summer. He’d had enough Tucson summers for one dog’s life. I pat him on the head and told him he was a good boy as I took of his leash and joked about how he probably didn’t need it anymore, even if he did go along on our walks. And I was right. Today I picked him up in his bed, and carried him to the back of mama’s car, and we drove him to the cremation place. His last walk. I was sure to give him all the respect and love that he had earned, and set him down as softly as I could. Moments before, we’d brought William in to explain and say goodbye and it was in that moment, that I finally broke down and lost it for the first time. Just overcome with all of it. I knew it was coming, but the finality of it - how thered be no more fun or quirky Havarti stories to add or fun trips we’d remember him on, no more high tens or hockey games. This was it. Our last memories of Havarti and I was open heartedly sad. I spent several months dreading this day and thinking about how hard it would be for Audrie, but In that moment, saying goodbye, I barely thought of her at all - I thought about my friend, My Dog and how really blessed I was to be in his life and was more sad that I ever imagined I would be. Havarti was a really big tree. Larger than any life to be expected from a rescued Tucson Tan mut. There will never be a dog like him in my life, and I knew it. He was, indeed, the best good boy. It wasn’t just cliche talk but in the end those simple words summed it up best. I loved him very much and while I had dutifully gotten everything together best I could, and comforted him, and had been mindful of supporting Audrie, now in these last few moments all the love burst out of me and I wept. It was now my responsibility to help him live on forever, in our home and in our stories, and as a very special member of our family forever. We gave him the very best life that we could, and he repaid us ten-fold and we’ll never let him be forgotten.
After we were home from saying goodbye to Havarti my Dad texted and said something about Grandma greeting Havarti with pats in heaven. It reminded me of the time we went and visited them in Apache Junction and how even though Audrie had really wanted me to ask and make sure it was ok, we brought Havarti unannounced. “They love dogs!” I exclaimed assuredly. Didn’t know their park had a policy against dogs! My Grandma whooshed the dog in the back door and closed all the blinds and went on and on about the contraband dog and how we had to sneak him into the car to take him to the bathroom and keep his head down and don’t tell anyone he was here, knowing full well she was enjoying the fact that this all gave her something to talk about! And sure enough the whole thing was so amusing the next day that she herself was telling the head of security. What a great story - grandma’s contraband dog. We took a picture together that night in 2014, and as Havarti would consistently do with the camera on a timer, he’d turn and look at the very last second and pose perfectly for the shot. I can’t even train my kid to do that! Fun memory to look back on. It got me thinking and hoping that if it were at all possible now for Grandma to smuggle him through the back door into our Heaven instead of the doggo heaven, that he would be certainly a deserving candidate. The only bad thing he ever did in his life was to eat Rocks and to run off on a classic walkabout and get lost once. Regardless of those two blemishes on his record, it would seem to me, that if any being was good enough for a place in Heaven, itd be him. He was the smartest, most respectful (as long as he wasnt on a leash), and sweetest gentle animal that no doubt any of us have ever met. He lived a full life with so many happy, playful memories, and thats how I’ll try to remember him > jumping into Cherry Creek doing splash and dash and carrying around a gross play cat toy mouse. This last day was tough, and was very heavy, and I am still shocked at how fast it went. But I am so blessed to have had a truly good dog in my life to tell about and all these amazing pictures of wonderful places that we shared with him. One of those truly accidental blessings that I didn’t know that I needed or wanted that my stars fated to me back in May 2014. His steady companionship and friendship these last 9 years through all the tides of our life set a great legacy and model for the four of us he left behind. He left all of us better than he found us, and for a life lived, there is no greater compliment. I broke down one last time, as they took him away, thinking about that. He left all four of us better than he found us. He had done more than his fair share and left this world so loved; the one thing that lives forever and more than any of us can expect.
Song: Willie Nelson - Live Forever
Quote: “I am my mother’s son. All other identities are artificial and recent. Naked, basic, actually, I am my mother’s son. I emerged from her womb and set out on this earth. The earth gave me another identity, that of name, personality, appearance, character, and spirit. The earth is my grandmother; I am the earth’s grandson. The way I comb my hair today has nothing to do with myself, who am my mother’s son and the earth’s grandson. I am put on this earth to prove that I am my mother’s son. I am also on this earth, my grandmother, to be her spokesman, in my chosen and natural way. The earth owns the least to myself; she shall take me back, and my mother too. We have proven the earth’s truth and meaning, which is, simply life and death."
― Jack Kerouac
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